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Crowds of people march to the streets to celebrate; champagne bottles are popped and hugs are exchanged; and the whole country declares it in big bright colors, plastered on mugs and t-shirts and announced in every corner of Seoul: Love is love.
Minhyuk and Hyungwon first hear the news while in their pajamas, eating bokkeumbap straight out of the pan. Same-sex marriage is finally legalized in South Korea, and it probably should be a bigger deal to two unmarried gay men in their thirties, but neither Minhyuk nor Hyungwon has dated, much less be in a marriage-worthy relationship in the past five years, so really, watching the historic moment is like watching their respective mothers gain new ammunition for their regular “When are you going to settle down? When I’m dead?” phone calls.
It still is a historic moment though, so that night they celebrate with chicken and beer (Minhyuk takes two sips out of Hyungwon’s first bottle) and a We Bear Bears marathon all the way until the very late hour of 10 PM.
Minhyuk’s colleagues – actually, the entire marketing department – are more enthusiastic about the news, giving him congratulatory pats on the back and lighthearted “You better invite us to your wedding!” comments and by lunchtime, Minhyuk is so sick of it all. Can’t a single gay man just be single and gay in peace?! The last straw comes in the form of Yoo Kihyun, who is Minhyuk’s best friend at work but also one of the most insufferable little shits in the history of mankind.
Minhyuk gives him a warning glare the moment he steps into the pantry while Minhyuk is stirring his 3-in-1 coffee, but of course, Kihyun stays true to his best friend duties and ignores this entirely.
“I guess you and Hyungwon can get married now, huh,” is what he says instead, earning a kick in the shin from Minhyuk.
“How many times do I have to tell you that Hyungwon and I aren’t together?” Minhyuk rolls his eyes. These allegations are not new to him. Ever since he got drunk during his very first company dinner and Hyungwon came running in his sweatpants to pick him up from the bar, Kihyun already made up his mind that Hyungwon is Minhyuk's soulmate. Minhyuk used to be more insistent in correcting this misconception, but honestly, now he is just tired.
Kihyun smirks his signature Kihyun-smirk and earns a kick to his other shin.
“Whatever makes you sleep at night,” he singsongs, pocketing three packs of instant coffee. Kihyun walks out the door and Minhyuk thinks it’s the end of his teasing but he comes back and adds, “But you know, you live together, eat together, do domestic shit together, and spend half of your salaries on rent. You’re basically married without the financial benefits, you know?”
Minhyuk furrows his brows in confusion. They do pay a ridiculously hefty sum for their shitty two-bedroom. “What does the rent have anything to do with this?”
“Oh, you haven’t heard,” Kihyun deadpans.
“Heard what?”
Kihyun fishes out his phone from his pocket and types something on Naver, showing the results to Minhyuk. “The government is offering discounted housing rates for newly married couples. It’s because of the dropping marriage and birth rates or something.”
Minhyuk squints to read the article, then lets out a loud gasp at the numbers on the screen. “Kihyun, that’s… that’s almost half of what we currently pay.”
“Exactly.” Again with that annoying smirk. But Minhyuk has more pressing concerns.
“And do… would gay couples be eligible for this too?”
Kihyun shrugs. “Why not? That’s the whole point of marriage equality, isn’t it?”
“I guess,” Minhyuk mumbles, already lost in his own thoughts. The rate difference is truly quite outrageous. Is this how his married peers can afford three-bedroom apartments in prime locations in Seoul AND childcare? He makes a quick mental computation and realizes that with their combined salaries, he and Hyungwon could probably save up for their planned Europe trip six months earlier if they avail of the discounted rate. Marriage, though? With Hyungwon? It’s a thought that hasn’t even crossed his mind three minutes ago before Kihyun brought it up, but he supposes it’s true that it wouldn’t change much about their arrangement since they already live together anyway. Still, it brings a weird feeling to his stomach and he takes a break from his thoughts to ask Kihyun about it when he realizes the other man has left him alone. The asshole.
❤️
“Hyungwon-ah, let’s get married.”
Minhyuk pops the question – or, well, it’s really more of a proposition – a week later at their apartment while Hyungwon sorts through the bills from their mailbox. He supposes it’s strategic timing, to offer a solution while his target is faced with the very problem he is claiming to solve (Minhyuk is a marketer, after all).
“Is this one of your Tiktok pranks?” Hyungwon asks cautiously and Minhyuk tries not to be too offended because, really, the food poisoning prank was just one time and also he promptly deleted his Tiktok after Hyungwon didn’t talk to him for two weeks because of it.
“No, silly. I mean it. Look,” he brings out his secret weapon, a whole binder of charts and tables detailing the government’s housing program and how much they would save from it alongside their current budget and the five-year plan that they just finalized the previous month.
The binder is labeled MARRIAGE PROPOSAL and Hyungwon snorts at it. “You’re so fucking lame,” he says with a subtle smile that would have gone unnoticed if Minhyuk didn’t know how much he actually loved puns like these.
“It just makes sense, you know? We’re already living together and sharing expenses anyway and this way we’d be able to achieve our goals sooner and even contribute more to our retirement plans. I mean, we have very little to lose…” here is where Minhyuk brings out the big guns. Hyungwon works in risk management, and Minhyuk knows that to win this battle he must convince his best friend that his proposal yields high benefits with minimal risk.
Hyungwon bites his lip, looking unconvinced by this argument. Which is preposterous, as Minhyuk dedicated three whole pages for the risk assessment. “You do know you can only be married to one person at a time, right?”
Does Hyungwon think he doesn’t know what marriage is? “Yes?”
“So if you marry me… you won’t be able to marry anyone else…” Hyungwon speaks slowly, as though explaining to a three-year-old, and now Minhyuk is offended.
“Hyungwon, I haven’t dated in five years, do you seriously think this will be a problem for me?”
“I mean,” Hyungwon starts, patient as ever. “Sure, it’s not a problem for now because you’re single, but what happens if you meet someone you want to marry? I know you’re thinking there’s very little at stake here but marriage is still a long-term commitment, Minhyuk. It’s not something you can easily undo.”
Minhyuk opens his mouth on instinct and closes it again when he realizes he actually has no rebuttal for that. That’s… well… that’s one thing he managed to overlook in his thorough risk assessment. This is why Hyungwon is the actuary and not him.
“I mean… that could go… that goes for you too, right?” He tries to reason lamely, thinking that maybe if the risk applies to both of them, it would cancel out.
Hyungwon shrugs. “Not really. The likelihood for me is very negligible.”
“Well then… it’s the same for me. I think. Anyway, give it a thought while I recalculate the risks, yeah?” Minhyuk concludes, patting the binder before settling his palm gently on the back of Hyungwon’s hand.
“Fine,” Hyungwon sighs in resignation, knowing full well his best friend wouldn't budge until he makes a show of considering it.
“Good,” Minhyuk brightens up again. “Now clean up the table while I make us dinner.”
🧡
Hyungwon really doesn’t have a problem with marrying for convenience. Hyungwon’s problem is that despite all logic justifying Minhyuk’s proposal, there is simply no way he can say yes. All the variables may tip the scale in favor of Minhyuk’s arguments, but ultimately all of those are negated by the fact that Hyungwon is totally and irreparably in love with Minhyuk – has been for maybe the past ten years, maybe since the moment that pretty blonde head cornered him outside the lecture hall to ask (or, well, demand ) to be partners in their statistics assignment because Hyungwon was the only person who had the decency to even pretend to be taking notes during class. (He wasn’t, in truth. He was actually writing down the lyrics to ‘American Pie’ from memory to stop himself from staring at the pretty blonde boy a few seats away.) But anyway, it all worked out in the end. The said blonde boy ended up becoming his statistics partner and then his roommate and then his best friend and then the (unrequited) love of his life and now he wants to… marry Hyungwon? Somehow? Hyungwon’s life is a sitcom. A whole damn circus.
Of the many downsides to harboring unrequited feelings for your best friend, the worst of all is not even being able to rant to them about it. Which is why Hyungwon finds himself venting instead to the one person who probably has the least experience when it comes to unrequited love.
“Jagiya, that’s great!” Jooheon exclaims with a loud slap on the back when Hyungwon tells him while they’re lined up at the office cafeteria for lunch. The last thing Hyungwon wants to do right now is gobble up this pile of goo that they call "food" in the insurance company that he works at, but Minhyuk has been so focused on revising his marriage proposal that he hasn't managed to fix their lunchboxes in three days.
“No, Jagiya, that is actually the opposite of great,” Hyungwon sighs.
Jooheon’s dumpling lips pout in confusion. “Why? Haven’t you been pining for Minhyuk since god knows when? And now he confessed to you?”
“Not confessed, proposed. ” Hyungwon can’t believe he has to explain the most heartbreaking night of his life in such detail. His life is so hard. They find their seats and Hyungwon pokes the cucumber kimchi with his chopsticks in mild disgust. Mild, because he used to be neutral about cucumbers but that was before he met Minhyuk and became the designated cucumber-eater every time they ate together.
Jooheon contemplates the correction while chewing his (extremely rubbery) galbi. “Isn’t that the same thing? He wants to marry you because he’s also in love with you?”
Oh, bless his pure, innocent soul.
“No, he wants to marry me because it’d make our rent cheaper, apparently.”
“Oh.” Now Jooheon looks like he’s about to cry.
“Oh is right. But it’s whatever. I just need to find a way to reject him or invent an excuse.” Hyungwon tries to sound nonchalant but really, when was the last time he was able to reject any of Minhyuk's ideas?
“But hyung,” a third voice startles Hyungwon from his slump. When did Changkyun even get here? “Doesn’t it actually make sense, though? He gets his cheap rent, you get to marry the love of your life. It’s a win-win.”
Hyungwon frowns. “I’m not going to commit fraud, Changkyun.”
“How is that fraudulent? Is there a requirement under the law that you need to marry for love? Marriage is simply a contract that legitimizes a partnership between two consenting parties, and isn’t that what you two have? Only now it will be recognized under the law and along it come certain benefits. And yes, obligations too, but nothing you don’t already do anyway, hyung.”
Who invited Changkyun here, anyway? The last thing Hyungwon needs right now is advice from a lawyer, especially if that advice goes against his self-imposed pity party.
Isn’t that what you two already have? In a way, he knows Changkyun is right. It may not be romantic (at least for one party), but what he has with Minhyuk is a partnership. They’ve been best friends since that fateful statistics class in freshman year, roommates since sophomore year, each other’s confidante, each other’s safe space, and more. Always more.
Partners. They’ve always been partners.
Still, there’s a pinch of guilt when he thinks about his one-sided crush, and how Minhyuk has no idea his feelings even exist. He tells Changkyun this, and the younger man lets out an incredulous laugh.
“Then just tell him, hyung,” is his genius advice. Like Hyungwon hasn’t spent the last ten years staring at his ceiling either trying to will his feelings away or thinking of how to confess without ruining their friendship.
“No, seriously, hyung. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Oh, I don’t know, my imminent death, maybe, Hyungwon wants to say, but instead he settles with “he might not want to live with me anymore.”
Changkyun scoffs – scoffs! – like Hyungwon is the stupidest person on earth.
“I highly doubt that, if he’s so willing to fucking marry you .”
And, well, maybe Hyungwon is the stupidest person on earth, because he actually has a point. If Minhyuk was willing to give up dating forever to spend his life with his best friend, would it actually be so bad to tell him? He probably wouldn’t mind… right? Because then at least one of the parties would be marrying for love. He’s simply changing one of the variables, but it’s not like it matters. Like Changkyun said, Minhyuk is even willing to marry him as a friend, so he’s probably willing to marry someone who loves him. Right. It’s no big deal.
💛
They agree to revisit Minhyuk’s proposal on a Friday night and Hyungwon comes home from work to find an elaborate set-up on the kitchen counter, complete with snacks and coffee and Minhyuk’s laptop displaying a Powerpoint presentation that looks like a more fancy version of the binder that now sits on Hyungwon’s desk.
Minhyuk stands on one side of the counter still wearing his work clothes and Hyungwon thinks, damn, he’s really about to deliver a business pitch, isn’t he?
“So, I’ve made a few adjustments to my proposal that I think you should review.” He clicks and the next slide shows a photo of the two of them at their first shared apartment in college. “To set the context, let’s look back on–”
“Minhyuk-ah,” Hyungwon cuts him off, finally taking a seat in front of him and placing his shaky hands on the counter. He’s spent days trying to phrase his confession but words have never been his strong suit so he’s still shaking with fear. But he knows that once Minhyuk starts talking, he won't be able to stop. So it’s better to just get it done and over with.
In the end, he finds there’s no better way to put it than “I’m in love with you” and Minhyuk, for once in his life, is rendered speechless by this simple admission.
“What do you… what do you mean?”
“I’ve had feelings for you since college. And I thought you needed to know, because… you know. That–” Hyungwon gestures vaguely to the Powerpoint presentation that’s still flashed in front of him and wow, Minhyuk even used animations for the slides.
Minhyuk opens his mouth to speak but then closes it again. Opens it, then closes it. And this goes on for almost a minute until he simply cries out in frustration. “Hyungwon, that doesn't make any sense. What do you mean… you’ve dated other people since college!”
Hyungwon snorts. He did. At first because it just felt like the normal thing to do when you're in college, then it was because his itty bitty "crush" on his roommate began to feel not so itty bitty, after all. And then at some point it just felt pointless, to keep meeting new people when he knows he'll never feel for anyone else the way he feels about his best friend. “I know. And I really did try to get rid of my feelings, Minhyuk. I really did. But I guess… I don’t know. It’s just the way it is,” Hyungwon explains shyly, and again, words are not his strong suit because how exactly does he explain what he feels for Minhyuk? Even the words “I’m in love with you” doesn’t seem to cut it. He loves Minhyuk, that’s for sure. But not in the way Minhyuk loves him back. Not in the way that best friends might care for each other. Not in the way that roommates might look out for each other and live and do life alongside each other. Hyungwon loves him more than that. And he can try, but words will never be able to explain how or why he even fell in love. He just knows that he did, and he never doubted it since. To Hyungwon, loving Minhyuk feels as easy, as natural as breathing.
But how does one put all of this into words? How do you tell your best friend that he’s your everything, and that whether married or not, you know you will love him for the rest of your life, anyway, even if he doesn’t feel the same way?
“You don’t need to reciprocate my feelings, by the way!” Hyungwon hastily adds when he sees the conflicted emotions on Minhyuk’s face. The last thing he wants is to feel like his feelings are Minhyuk's burden. “I just wanted to come clean because… you know. It feels unfair to you that you’re proposing this thing without knowing the truth. You can, um, think about it. If this changes how you feel about me then that’s okay. But if it’s possible, I really would like to remain friends with you, Minhyuk. Nothing needs to change if you don’t want it.”
“I…” Minhyuk starts, now also wringing his hands together. “I need some time to process this.”
“Okay, that’s… yeah, you do that. Also Chuseok is coming up, anyway, and I need to go down to Gwangju. So. I guess, I’ll see you after.” This was Hyungwon’s fallback, the only reason he even mustered enough courage to confess. Minhyuk can have a few days to think about it and Hyungwon will have the time to avoid seeing him and instead rot in his childhood bedroom in utter embarrassment.
“You’re spending Chuseok in Gwangju?” This comes as a surprise to Minhyuk, since Hyungwon has spent the last few Chuseoks in the Lee family home in Seoul. But he supposes it would indeed be awkward to spend the holiday together after this confession.
“Yeah, my mom misses me too, you know,” Hyungwon says lightheartedly, and Minhyuk smiles back. It’s an unspoken understanding, but Minhyuk promises to think about Hyungwon’s confession during their time apart, and Hyungwon promises to come back, like he always does.
💚
Amidst all his (over)thinking, Minhyuk momentarily forgets one major problem he has to face when going to his family home: Lee Minji.
He loves his little sister. He really does. But they have a 14-year age difference and Minhyuk simply doesn’t have the energy to deal with a cheeky highschooler for more than two minutes. Also, Minji has had the silliest schoolgirl crush on Hyungwon since she was six, so there’s that.
His second major problem is that his parents think of Hyungwon as their own son. During the school break between their freshman and sophomore year, Hyungwon stayed with the Lee family while they looked for an apartment to share. In that short period of time, Hyungwon surprisingly managed to assimilate into the Lee household quite well, claiming the hearts of Minhyuk’s parents, then-six-year-old Minji, and even their dog Dambi (may her soul rest in peace). So, no, even if Minhyuk wanted a reprieve from thinking about his best friend’s confession over and over, he has no choice but be reminded of Hyungwon (and Hyungwon’s absence) every damn second.
It’s his parents that bring up the topic of marriage during dinner, and Minhyuk wants to die.
“Minhyuk-ah, I heard they’re marrying gay couples now,” his mother starts, and Minhyuk lets out a defeated sigh. Here we go again.
“Does Hyungwon have any marriage plans, by any chance?”
Minhyuk all but chokes on his soup. What the hell?
“Eomma, aren’t you gonna ask about your own gay son first?” he asks, clearly offended.
“You hate it when I ask you this stuff.” His mom waves her hand dismissively. “Besides, we know you haven’t dated in quite a while, so it’s probably useless to ask, isn’t it?”
Minhyuk pouts. The audacity of his own mother , really. “Well, neither has Hyungwon…”
“But Hyungwon-oppa is actually husband material. You’re not,” Minji interrupts with her mouth stuffed with rice, and Minhyuk has to stop himself from doing something he would regret in front of their parents.
His mother speaks again, voice full of affection for the boy she considers her second son. “Anyway, I hope our Hyungwonnie can find a nice man who will treat him well.” This is already bad enough, but then she adds, clapping her hands with a loud smack: “Ah! Maybe he can meet someone while in Gwangju!”
Minhyuk’s frown burrows even deeper. A man who will treat him well? Well, good luck with that. The guy refuses to eat anything green, has the habit of leaving his socks all over the house, and is quite literally allergic to the air in Seoul. Treating Hyungwon well requires years of training and a ridiculous amount of patience, and he doubts there is a Korean man of marrying age – a gay man , at that – who will be able to fulfill these qualifications.
Minhyuk keeps thinking about it as he lies awake that night, randomly remembering how Hyungwon once told him about his first love back in Gwangju, a senior from his high school, and how that senior had been pestering him to come home and visit. He wonders, did Hyungwon get to see him already? Would the guy ask him to get back together? Would Hyungwon say yes? What if the guy feeds him the spicy Jin ramyun instead of the mild one? That can’t happen. Hyungwon would die. The thought makes Minhyuk feel so uneasy he wakes up the next morning with a stomachache, and it’s when he throws up everything he ate for breakfast that he finally admits he can’t stand the thought of Hyungwon marrying someone else.
That very same afternoon, Minhyuk finds himself boarding a high-speed train to Gwangju.
Hyungwon picks him up from the train station because he doesn’t remember the way to the Chae family house. They barely talk during the car ride, Hyungwon simply asking why he came all the way to Gwangju and Minhyuk blurting the excuse of his parents asking him to bring some prime Korean beef to Hyungwon’s parents before the meat goes bad. Hyungwon’s parents are delighted to see Minhyuk, which is unsurprising given how they adore him, maybe even more than Minhyuk’s parents adore Hyungwon. Minhyuk chats with them over sliced fruit for over three hours while Hyungwon retires to bed. And by the time Minhyuk goes to sleep at Hyungwon’s bedroom, he’s almost lost all his voice.
Hyungwon chuckles fondly as Minhyuk plops down beside him in exhaustion. “You didn’t need to entertain them until midnight, you know?” He says, one hand automatically rubbing soothing circles on Minhyuk’s nape.
“I had to, because their own son refuses to spend time with his parents on the rare chance he gets,” Minhyuk answers, eyes already closed.
Another chuckle from Hyungwon. “I did spend time with them, though. They just enjoy talking to you more because you’re better at telling stories than I am.”
Minhyuk hums, and for a moment Hyungwon thinks he’s fallen asleep, with only the gentle whir of the heater accompanying the comfortable silence. But then Minhyuk speaks again and when Hyungwon opens his eyes, they are facing each other on the bed, foreheads almost touching and Minhyuk’s breath fanning Hyungwon’s own face.
“Do you think January is a good month for the wedding?”
Hyungwon blinks, the question failing to register in his sleepy, comfy, Minhyuk-inundated brain. “What wedding?”
“Ours,” Minhyuk answers with a genuine smile, and Hyungwon sits up in surprise.
“What– how… what do you mean?”
Minhyuk also sits up then, knees touching Hyungwon’s and taking Hyungwon’s hands in his so the other man will look him in the eye. Hyungwon expected him to be teasing but what he finds in Minhyuk’s eyes isn’t playfulness. It’s genuine care and determination and a little bit of nervousness that’s very uncharacteristic of Minhyuk.
“I’ve thought about it and I think… no, I’m sure. I want to marry you, Hyungwon. And it’s not even because of the rent! It’s just… I realized there’s no one in this world I would rather spend the rest of my life with, you know? There’s no one who would be able to look out for me and put up with me like you do. You’re my best friend in the world, Hyungwon. My soulmate. My person. And I want to be the same for you.”
When Hyungwon doesn’t answer, Minhyuk adds softly, “do you want to marry me, though?” and again, the uncharacteristic shyness in his question snaps Hyungwon back to reality.
“Did you miss the part where I said I’m in love with you?”
Minhyuk pouts. “That’s not the same thing. People in love can choose not to get married, you know.”
“And some people can also choose to marry someone they’re not in love with,” Hyungwon playfully retorts with a smile, but immediately reverts to being serious when he notices Minhyuk’s eyes getting teary. “Hey, I was joking. I told you it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. And I do want to marry you.”
“Hyungwon-ah.” Minhyuk doesn’t sound convinced by Hyungwon’s assurance. “You know that you're my favorite person, right? Even if it’s not… like that…”
“I do,” Hyungwon says firmly. Because he does.
“Good. Because you really are the most precious person to me, and I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of your feelings.” Minhyuk lies back down and pulls Hyungwon with him, arranging his arm so that it serves as a pillow for his head. Hyungwon holds him close and presses a kiss to the top of his head, feeling grateful for the consideration, but also feeling doomed because what did he just get himself into?
💙
The news comes as no surprise to their friends, especially to Kihyun. He’s the first one Minhyuk tells in the office, and he only answers with a pat on the shoulder and his signature “I told you so” smirk. Jooheon and Changkyun are more enthusiastic, but that’s probably because they witnessed Hyungwon trying to get over his feelings for Minhyuk the whole time they’ve been friends with the guy. The parents from both sides are delighted and relieved knowing that their sons are marrying the person they’ve grown to love as their own child. Minji is perhaps the only person who is heartbroken by the news, accusing her brother of ruining her future by stealing the man of her dreams.
All in all, announcing their engagement was a breezy and happy moment for everyone and before they know it, Minhyuk and Hyungwon are caught up in the chaos of wedding preparations.
As it turns out, though, getting engaged is the easiest part, but the rest of the process is absolute hell. A few months ago, their life only consisted of going to work and making sure their apartment was a liveable space and maybe spoiling themselves with overpriced brunch on Sunday mornings after doing the laundry; but now it’s venue visits and suit fittings and guest list revisions and tons and tons of paperwork and why are weddings so goddamn expensive?! It’s partly why Minhyuk never planned on getting married because really, what’s the point of spending your life savings on a single celebration, for people whom you haven’t even spoken to in the last five years? But he supposes it’s an investment of some sort, since they will be saving much more on the discounted rent and, as Kihyun says with a dismissive wave of a hand, “you’re gonna get it back from the wedding gifts anyway.” Also, it’s not just a wedding we’re talking about. It’s his wedding with Hyungwon. His person. His partner for life. So Minhyuk does what he does best and spends all his time and energy making sure that the wedding will be perfect.
Planning a wedding with Hyungwon surprisingly just feels like a more stressful version of being roommates and best friends with Hyungwon. The major difference is that lately, Minhyuk feels a strange and desperate urge to kiss his best friend-turned-fiancé. Minhyuk is naturally affectionate, so skinship has never been a problem for him. It was never a problem for Hyungwon either, although he has always been a bit more reserved when it comes to physical touch. So handholding is fine, and cheek kisses have become the norm since Hyungwon started dropping off and picking Minhyuk up from work in an effort to be more efficient in running their errands. But to want, no, to crave an actual kiss? To wonder what Hyungwon tastes like, how those plump lips would feel against his tongue, how those sculpted arms would wrap around his waist as they pull him closer? That’s new. That’s weird. Even for Minhyuk.
This inexplicable curiosity gets so bad he almost leans in to peck Hyungwon’s lips instead of his cheek one morning before rushing out of the car in panic and spending the entire day overthinking his almost-mistake. He tells Kihyun about it during their cigarette break, and the man looks at him like he just grew two heads.
“It’s actually very normal to want to kiss your fiancé, Minhyuk.”
“But– but I don’t like him… like that.”
Now Kihyun looks at him like he grew three heads. “Who told you that?”
“What do you mean who told– I know this, Kihyun. I just never thought of him like that.”
Kihyun sighs and shakes his head and the sheer disappointment in the simple gesture makes Minhyuk feel like he’s in third grade failing the multiplication table all over again. “Never? Are you sure about that?”
Minhyuk blushes. “Never.”
“You literally just told me you wanted to suck his face this morning.”
“That’s definitely not what I said!” Why is Kihyun putting words into his mouth? He’s supposed to be helping! “Ugh, Kihyun, what do I do? I think I’m losing my mind. Is it the stress, you think? Are the wedding preparations driving me insane?”
Kihyun takes a long drag of his cigarette for what feels like an eternity, but even this could not have prepared Minhyuk for what he says next.
“Well I personally think you’re fucking stupid, Lee Minhyuk. You’ve been living with this dude for a decade, you literally asked him to MARRY YOU, and now you want to bang him.” (Again, putting words in Minhyuk’s mouth!) “And you still think you’re not in love with Hyungwon? What do you think love is?”
What do you think love is?
The simple question throws Minhyuk off-guard. He thinks about that day almost three months ago, the leap in his chest as he watched his homeland proclaim those three words to be true: Love is love . And he thinks about Hyungwon, the shy student he befriended over a statistics assignment. The boy who would move into his tiny childhood bedroom in the summer and go on to be his roommate for ten more years after. The friend who was there for every milestone, every failure, every first date, every breakup, every moment of his every day. The poor man who sat through his crazy proposal and welcomed it with open arms anyway. The roommate who makes him coffee in the morning (although he is terrible at it) and chamomile tea at night because it helps with his digestion. The fiancé who diligently drove twenty miles on a Tuesday because Minhyuk saw a lake resort on Instagram that “looked like it would be cheap and unlikely booked, Hyungwon, we should check it out while it’s not yet popular.” Hyungwon, who loves him.
Hyungwon, whom he loves.
God, Kihyun is right. He’s so fucking stupid. He loves Hyungwon. He’s in love with Hyungwon. How it took him ten years, an engagement, and a whole mental breakdown to realize it is beyond him but the moment he allows himself to admit it, the truth starts to feel so real and so right and so light in his heart. He’s in love with Chae Hyungwon.
When Minhyuk gets off work later that day, Hyungwon is already waiting for him, leaning lazily against his parked car with his tie already hanging loosely and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His lips break into a blinding smile when he spots Minhyuk walking cautiously across the parking lot that’s still a little bit wet from the rain and god, Minhyuk loves him. Minhyuk greets him with the usual cheek kiss and his hand automatically settles on the small of Minhyuk’s back, pulling him closer to brush the fringe off of Minhyuk’s eyes with his other hand.
“Rough day?” Hyungwon asks gently, so gently, and Minhyuk almost cries at the tenderness of it all.
“Hyungwon-ah,” he whispers shakily, hand coming up to cup Hyungwon’s cheek as he takes in the details of Hyungwon’s face that he’s always loved but now sparks in him an unprecedented kind of hunger. “I want to kiss you.”
Hyungwon freezes, unsure, and Minhyuk hates himself for making Hyungwon so doubtful of how much he loves him, wants him, so he doesn’t wait for answer and just closes the distance between them, capturing Hyungwon’s lips in a kiss that Minhyuk wishes would show just how much he feels for him.
Hyungwon’s lips are as soft and warm as he imagined it to be, and Minhyuk smiles against them when he feels Hyungwon finally kissing him back. Hyungwon gasps softly and Minhyuk takes it as an opportunity to dart his tongue slightly, ever so slightly, tasting the nicotine in Hyungwon’s mouth and oh, Hyungwon tastes like home. Somehow Minhyuk has always known this, but now he gets to experience it, and he’s finally brave enough to admit that it’s what he’s always wanted.
“I’ve been thinking about this all day,” Minhyuk says when they pull apart, stealing another peck as he slides his palms along Hyungwon’s collar and locks his fingers at the back of his neck.
Hyungwon pulls him back for another kiss and chuckles, not even bothering to pull away when he says, “I’ve been dreaming about this for years.”
“It’s not a competition,” Minhyuk says as he shoves his tongue back into Hyungwon’s mouth because damn, where did Hyungwon learn to kiss like this? Who taught him to kiss like this? The train of thought makes his blood boil that he kisses Hyungwon harder, sucking his lower lip hard enough that Hyungwon has to pull back and quite literally pry Minhyuk's fingers off of his neck.
“You only say that when you’re not the one winning,” he laughs and Minhyuk wants to kiss him again so he does. Because he can.
💜
Hyungwon was never an early riser. In fact, Hyungwon is the last person in the world one would call an early riser. His motto is to make the most out of every last second he can spend in bed, at least to the extent that his multiple alarms and his coffee-making duties would allow him. Hyungwon very rarely makes an exemption from his life’s passion (sleeping) but he makes one today, because today he is getting married to the love of his life.
He looks at the sleeping form beside him and smiles at how peaceful he looks, oblivious to the big day ahead of them – possibly the biggest day of their lives. He traces the outline of his fiancé’s face with the tip of his index finger, then presses a kiss to his left eye, the one that closes a bit slower than the other when he blinks.
“Baby.” Hyungwon whispers.
“Hmm?”
“We’re getting married today.”
“Are we?” Minhyuk mumbles with his eyes still closed, lips automatically puckering to ask for a kiss.
“Yeah.” Hyungwon obliges, smacking Minhyuk’s lips with an exaggerated kissing sound. “You think we can just skip the whole thing and go straight to the honeymoon?”
“Stop, we’ve waited so long and spent our life savings for this,” Minhyuk says with a playful swat on the shoulder, finally opening his eyes. He stares at Hyungwon and smiles. Most days Hyungwon still can’t believe that this is his life now: waking up next to his best friend in the world, getting to see Minhyuk in his rawest, most vulnerable, most beautiful state, being at the receiving end of those lingering looks and those kisses that are only for him. Minhyuk hasn’t said “I love you” since he first kissed Hyungwon in the parking lot, but Hyungwon knows. He feels it in the way he clings closer than ever, like he’s afraid Hyungwon will drift away. He feels it in the touches that have always been there but are now more tender, heavier with meaning, laden with a newfound kind of desire. He feels it in every “good morning,” every “sweet dreams,” every “Hyungwon can you please take out the goddamn trash” even though these are words he’s heard a million times in the past decade. Hyungwon doesn’t know a lot of things, but he knows Minhyuk like the back of his hand, and he knows Minhyuk loves him. He doesn’t need those three words to tell him that.
“Happy birthday, love,” Minhyuk whispers against Hyungwon’s skin, pressing feathery kisses from his cheek to his jaw to his neck, spending some time there to nibble Hyungwon’s sensitive spot.
“What are you doing?” Hyungwon asks when Minhyuk’s kisses go a little bit too low and his touches become a little bit too intense for their usual morning cuddle.
“Your birthday blowjob.” Minhyuk says casually, and Hyungwon all but jolts from the mattress.
“What do you mean– Minhyuk, we have to get ready for the wedding!”
“Shh. This won’t take long.”
It was Minhyuk’s idea to hold the wedding on Hyungwon’s birthday. Birthdays had never been a big deal to Hyungwon, but Minhyuk had been nervous to bring it up, anyway, because “isn’t it just like when your birthday is close to Christmas? You only get one gift for two occasions and many people don’t like that.”
His fiancé’s genuine worry was evident in his pout that Hyungwon could only laugh and joke. “That's alright, you’re just gonna have to give me two blowjobs that day,” but he didn’t think Minhyuk would take it seriously, but then again, Minhyuk has always been full of surprises. It’s one of the things Hyungwon loves about him.
It’s with the same sense of awe and disbelief that the rest of the day passes through like a blink of an eye and suddenly, Hyungwon finds himself walking down the aisle towards the love of his life.
Like the date of the wedding (and everything else about the wedding, really) it was also Minhyuk who insisted that he walk down the aisle before Hyungwon. “Because you waited for me for ten years,” he had reasoned. “Starting today it will be my turn to wait.” And how could Hyungwon argue with that?
The wedding is held at the lake resort that Minhyuk found on Instagram, inside a glass gazebo with floor-to-ceiling windows that give a majestic view of the frozen lake and the snow-capped mountains. The ceremony begins at dusk, just as the sun is setting slowly behind the mountains, and the timing illuminates the room in hues of orange and gold as the two men march towards the altar, first Minhyuk in his cream-colored set, then Hyungwon in his classic three-piece suit.
The ceremony is a breeze, with their favorite college senior Hyunwoo officiating the formalities and the atmosphere being as light and joyful as the snowfall outside, their friends and families laughing at Hyunwoo’s quips or at Minhyuk’s tears, and before they know it, they are asked to read out their vows.
Hyungwon’s vows are brief and direct to the point, but earnest and sincere, as he always is, always has been with his love for Minhyuk. “A man of few words, indeed,” Minhyuk says tearily when it ends, because Hyungwon doesn’t need a lot of words to make him cry.
And then comes Minhyuk’s vows, which starts with a recollection of how they met, and how the whole engagement began (to the horror of their older relatives who are hearing of their original intention for the first time) and then proceeds with more tears, and finally a confession, and Hyungwon thinks that maybe his thirty years on Earth so far, with all its failures and heartbreaks, have been leading up to this moment. With a beautiful blonde boy in front of him, declaring his love in a form that feels so final and so real that all he can do is shed tears of his own as he listens to the words he will never forget for the rest of his life.
“I’m sorry,” Minhyuk says, and he doesn’t need to elaborate because Hyungwon knows what it’s for, although there's really no need to apologize because he'd do the same thing, wait just as long and love him just as hard, over and over, in as many lifetimes as he could. “I just couldn’t name it, Hyungwon. Or maybe I just didn’t have the courage to acknowledge it for what it was. But it was love. It always has been. And now for all the yapping I’ve been doing and all the words I still have left to say, there are only three words I will ever need: I love you. I love you. I love you. If only I could say it enough times to make up for all those years I couldn’t, I would. I love you.”
And Hyungwon kisses him without waiting for Hyunwoo’s prompt because he knows. Minhyuk must understand that he knows. This is what love is, all along.