Chapter Text
Karabast.
No, karabast wasn't strong enough, Alexsandr thought. She really could have done without this. Sure, she had missed a few periods and sure she'd been a lot more tired than usual, but they were at war and she was under a lot of stress. Food wasn't plentiful, besides she was a Captain now, and she was dealing with a lot. Sure, Alexsandr had felt sick nearly every morning for the past couple of weeks, but she was nervous, it was understandable. Zeb had been away for two weeks, and she'd only heard from him once. It was normal to feel that way, or so she had told herself.
That was until Hera had noticed she'd been acting off and the next day had handed Alexsandr a pregnancy test. "Just in case", the Twi'lek had said with a knowing look and one year old Jacen in her arms.
Sure, she and Zeb had been having more sex lately. Stressed out, pent-up emotions sex and frantic reunion thank-kark-you're-not-dead sex, in particular. Alexsandr didn't think anything would come of it, realistically. She'd not long had her Imperial-issued reproductive implant removed (but she'd not had time to get a new one, moving rebel bases about three times in the last six months). Who knew if lasats could impregnate female humans anyway? (Thanks to Alexsandr, they wouldn't know). It wasn't like the rebellion had extensive supplies of condoms, kark, they barely had enough blasters.
So, when Alexsandr saw the two blue lines saying she was pregnant, karabast didn't seem like strong enough a word. Alexsandr always said if something was to happen, she'd get it dealt with quickly. But she'd seen how much Zeb was taken with Jacen, krayt spit, she was rather enamoured with the green-haired little boy. But giving birth to a half-lasat child? It felt wrong. On a lot of levels. But if she got rid of it... No, Alexsandr had sworn she'd never harm another lasat, as long as she lived. And this one would be her child. Zeb's child. She thought back to the night it probably happened. They'd both been gone for a while, off-base on respective missions. Zeb had been off with Hera, and Alexsandr had been off with the Ahsoka on a Fulcrum mission. Somehow, Alexsandr's mission had gone pretty successfully, whilst Zeb and Hera's had gone sideways. Like, Sabine was shot in the leg, sideways. Ahsoka had also been shot in the leg, but she wasn't a twenty year old girl. A Fulcrum mission where someone only got shot in the leg was a raging success.
Zeb hadn't even known Alexsandr was back until she'd shown up at the medbay after hearing the news from Senator Organa. Sabine had tried to put on a brave face in front of Zeb. Though, when Alexsandr came limping in with a fresh black eye and a split lip (thankfully nothing permanent) and Ahsoka with a blaster bolt burn to the leg, Sabine's lip had trembled and she'd lost it. Zeb was a good paternal figure for Sabine, the very annoying older brother she'd needed at that moment. He'd comforted her, and distracted her - but Alexsandr could see the worry he harboured for the girl. The panic in his eyes - he didn't want to lose her.
(And then back in their quarters Zeb had kissed Alexsandr's own wounds "better", trailing down her body until his mouth ended up between her legs. They'd fucked, frantic and desperate, clinging to one another.)
He'd be a great father. He wanted to be a father. He'd said as much in their room, as he bent Alexsandr over, onto her hands and knees, kissing the scars on her back, murmuring how he was going to put a baby in her. How gorgeous she'd look, how pretty she'd be with a swollen belly. Alexsandr didn't think he realised how right he was - the dirty talk hadn't meant to be anything more, but...They had fallen asleep tangled up, with Alexsandr's head resting on Zeb's chest. She'd felt sated, safe, and cherished. Since Cassian's death, Alexandr and Ahsoka had been worn thin, and Alexsandr missed her friend greatly. She was terrified she'd lose Zeb too. Lying trapped in his arms, naked and fucked-out was as close to home as Alexsandr could possibly feel. As close to a comfort that she would ever have.
Now this baby complicated things. Alexsandr's heart broke for Hera, having to raise Jacen without Kanan. Alexsandr wasn't sure she could do this without Zeb. And he'd been missing for days. Four days ago he should have returned, but he'd been MIA with no contact. She loved him, she realised, she loved him so much. Alexsandr prayed to a goddess that she didn't even believe in, Zeb's goddess, for his safe delivery home. They had gone through so karking much together that it wouldn't be fair to have it all crumble now. Alexsandr kept sending Zeb comm messages - she wasn't even sure if he'd receive them, even if he was alive somewhere. She tried to tell herself that there had simply been a ship malfunction, annoying but eventually, one that the team could rectify. Two weeks was nothing. But not hearing from Zeb, having him close to being declared KIA, was torture. So, Alexsandr made up her mind:
*Hello, love. I don't know if you're even able to read this.*
*If you're dead...*
*No, I can't think like that.*
*I don't know why else you'd be gone. You've been MIA for four days, love. Hera's not allowed to say much, but... she says you're going to be declared KIA soon.*
*She needs you Zeb. She can’t lose you too, not after Kanan.*
*I wanted to tell you in person...*
*But I guess if you're floating somewhere in space. Or you've been captured. Or they've killed you, I won't get to do that.*
*Karabast, I don't even know if I can actually say it.*
*I'm pregnant.*
*I think about two months along. I'm not sure. Not like I can get a scan. And we've been at it. A lot.*
*It's yours. Obviously.*
*I don't know what I'm going to do.*
*In terms of keeping it.*
*your baby... our baby*
*Do you even want me to...*
*It's OK if you don't. I know I'm not really worthy of it.*
*being your baby's mother*
*We can talk about it more when you're home. If you come home. Come home to me Zeb, whenever home is. We're moving bases soon. Maybe I'll see you there?*
*if you don't come home I won't keep it*
*I love you, Garazeb. I think I always needed to love someone the way I love you. And I've always needed you to love me the way that you do.*
*and if this is goodbye, love, then*
*I will love you in every life. Come home to me*
*(P.S, Sabine said she actually misses your snoring. So maybe she loves you more than I do, because I definitely don't miss your snoring)*
After hours of forcing herself to stay awake and finish a report, the exhaustion finally crept up. Alexsandr went to bed, distraught and alone. Her bed felt cold and empty without Zeb, she was unsure how she had ever been able to sleep without him. Somehow, she fell into a deep sleep.
Alexsandr awoke to alarms blaring, ships roaring, and the ground shaking. The base was being ambushed.
Alexsandr had slept in her clothes, so she was right up. Alexsandr tugged her boots on - one by one. She laced the first boot over her foot, and the second over the bottom of her prosthetic. Zeb would have been annoyed that she had slept in it, but now she was thankful that she had. Zeb wasn't here - and it gave her an extra few minutes to evacuate. Grabbing a small pack that she always kept stocked with necessities, Alexsandr headed for the door. She glanced behind her, and with a huff headed back for her electrostaff and Zeb's beloved honour guard medal. He still had it after all this time. Alexsandr couldn't bear to leave it behind, though it felt strange in her hands. She dashed out of the door, sprinting to the exit, throwing the bag over her shoulder, sliding Zeb's medal inside. There was a spare blaster in there, if she needed it. Her staff would suffice for now.
Alexsandr had never fully appreciated the stupidity of the base's layout until now. She was running through a ridiculous number of corridors. Finally, she reached the exit, but the alarms were still blaring. It sounded like an aerial bombardment, but Alexsandr was ready for ground troopers. She was well-practiced at killing them. It had become second nature to take down stormtroopers with this staff. Her old one, won in combat, had been left behind on Thrawn's ship. Had become one of his trophies. Zeb had painstakingly made her a new one, based on his own. As she was running, Alexsandr saw a group of TIE fighters zoom overhead. She emerged into chaos. Parts of the base were burning, some reduced to rubble. Yavin and Hoth were mainly protected, these more minor bases were more expendable. It was horrifying to see and Alexsandr knew that there would be casualties. Fumbling for the comm in her pocket, Alexsandr tried her best to contact Hera. Messages were hardly going to be a priority, so she called her, desperately hoping the pilot would pick up.
"Hera, do you copy? Pick up, or comm me back when you can. Hope you and Jacen are safe."
Alexsandr's message was met with silence. Either Hera was busy (as was probable), or she had been hit. There was little point in trying to find the Ghost, in case Hera had flown off to join the flight immediately, so Alexsandr headed towards Intelligence. It was likely she'd find... someone there. A small voice in the back of Alexsandr's head told her to evacuate, but she knew she could do better trying to help protect and transport vital information. The screech of another formation of TIE fighters alerted Alexsandr to duck behind a pile of fallen rubble. If she got hit with a laser blast, there'd be nothing down for her. She glanced up, seeing two formations flying around in tandem. Karabast.
They were hovering around the path to Intelligence, Alexsandr couldn't risk it. She was willing to give her life for the rebellion, but she wasn't that stupid. Was it random, or lucky? Or were they waiting her out especially? Alexsandr shook her head. No, she wasn't that important. She was defenceless against the ships, so her only choice was to hide. It seemed that they were doing a sweep, presumably to hunt out survivors. Alexsandr had never flown one, but she was privy to Thrawn's TIE defender project.
Crouching behind this pile of rubble was far from ideal, and the position made her prosthetic ache, but there was nothing she could do about it. Thankfully, the TIE fighters moved on to sweep over another part of the base, so Alexsandr resumed her mission. Most of the Intelligence centre was still intact, and Alexsandr headed inside. It was cold, pitch black, and seemingly empty. There weren't many other Rebel Intelligence officers here, but there were copies of information that she could try and secure. Nobody else had thought to do so, so Alexsandr was relieved she'd thought of it. She logged into the mainframe, ignoring the scream of the alarms. They were growing more frequent, that indicated the assault was getting worse. She quickly plugged in a data stick, and did her best to transfer the most necessary files. Whilst she waited, her comm chirped to life.
"Kallus! Alexsandr, where are you? Nobody's seen you in the evac team!"
It was Hera.
"I'm in Intelligence. Trying to get a few files." Alexsandr replied, and she could hear Hera groan.
"I'm up in the Ghost, Rex is with me. Jacen's safe, don't worry. I've heard chatter that they're sending a ground force, you need to go. Now." Hera spoke over the familiar sound of the Ghost's laser-blaster fire.
"I got delayed by a squadron of TIE fighters. They were doing sweeps." Alexsandr informed Hera, as she added a few more files to the data stick. "I'm probably clear for a short while."
"Get out of there, Kallus. Now! Take whatever you have and run. Zeb would kill me if-"
"Zeb's not here, Hera. I'm doing what I can. May the Force be with you, stay safe."
Alexsandr cut the call and snatched the data stick. She also reached for her blaster and fired into the mainframe a few times. It meant information would be lost, but better lost than in the hands of Imperials. The irony wasn't lost on Alexsandr. Her comm lit up again, this time with a call from Rex, Alexsandr cancelled it. She didn't have time to talk. She rigged explosives to the main console, just for good measure (one of the things that Alexsandr deemed essential in her pack was explosives. She'd learnt that one from Sabine.) Might as well take down a few snooping Imps down with the base. Alexsandr clipped the detonator to her belt. If she pressed it or it was hit in an explosion, the Intelligence database would blow.
Alexsandr headed for the door, sliding the blaster onto her hip holster for easy access. The electrostaff felt like a comfort on her back, but she took it into her hands, splitting it in half for better hand to hand combat. Zeb had made the central connecting piece detachable, so Alexsandr could wield two shorter staffs. This was her preferred weapon as of late. If a ground assault was coming, she would be ready. Just as she emerged from the dark room, the sounds of footsteps ambush her. With a curse, Alexsandr pushed herself forward, out of the corridor and into daylight. She could see her enemies better like this, giving her a better chance. It was an ambush though, she realised, as a few troopers headed towards her.
"There's a survivor here! Quick, get the rebel scum!"
Oh, they wouldn't know what would be about to hit them. Alexsandr flipped her twin staffs, as they crackled to life with electricity. She'd been on the other end of Zeb's staff enough as an Imp to know how much these hurt. She counted four troopers and took the first one down with a swing. She smacked the staff into the side of his helmet, and the trooper staggered, disoriented. With a hiss, Alexsandr stabbed the electrified end into the black bodyglove peeking out between his helmet and armour, the man went down with a scream. A feral feeling of satisfaction consumed Alexsandr - thanks to the Empire she was made to fight and kill. She was trained to be a weapon. She gritted her teeth with a snarl and readied herself for battle.
The first trooper continued to twitch as the remnants of Agent Kallus rounded on a second. He had readied his blaster, but Kallus cut through it with a swipe. The trooper glanced up, and though she could not see his expression, Kallus knew he was confused.
She took advantage of his confusion and his lack of weapon and kicked him in the chest with her prosthetic leg. It probably would have broken her bones if she had used her other leg, but the prosthetic was reinforced steel. Sabine had even talked about getting it plated with beskar in the future. He went stumbling backwards and Kallus placed the two halves of her staff in a cross and yanked, crushing his neck. The sound of the trooper's throat snapping was a satisfying crunch. The orange current sizzled as Kallus spun around, and spang towards the third trooper. He had watched his comrades fall, and backed up, signalling to the fourth trooper. Okay, so they were going to try a combined attack. Kallus gave the pair a vicious snarl and charged. She batted away a blaster bolt, trying to catch the end of the gun. The trooper ducked away, just in time. They both fired, and Kallus had to leap to avoid being hit. She snapped her staff back together as she rolled, and got up with a spin. Two-handed, she swung towards one of the trooper's legs, aiming to swipe his legs out from underneath him. She snapped out the blade, though it only scratched against the plastic of his armour. She cursed and rolled forward to avoid more blaster bolts. One of the trooper's caught her leg (her flesh one) and Kallus staggered. Karabast, that burned. Despite the burning in her thigh, Kallus swung her staff again and grabbed it one-handed, the other hand reaching for her blaster. If she'd have had more time before having to evacuate her room, she would have brought a vibroblade. No matter, her bo-rifle could cut through stormtrooper plastoid armour if she dealt a strong enough blow. She caught one trooper in the knee with a blaster bolt, quickly holstering the weapon again as he fell with a groan of pain. Kallus forced her staff into his injured knee and sliced through his leg. She knocked the blaster in his hand out of his reach, content he would slowly bleed out. That left just one. Kallus fired from her staff, using it as a rifle now rather than an electrostaff. The transformation took less than a few seconds. She aimed a few precise shots at the trooper's head but watched them bounce off. Kallus gritted her teeth, preparing for close-quarters combat. She tore towards him, snarling. The trooper staggered back, but was met with a wall - and nowhere to run. Kallus forced the blade into the helmet, noting with some satisfaction as it pierced the plastoid armour. The trooper screamed as she twisted the staff, and then he stilled and fell, slack. Kallus pulled the blade out, coated red with thick blood, and took a moment to catch her breath. The trooper's blood sprayed over her. It was warm, familiar. Kallus knew bloodshed, she was made for it. Here she was no better than she had been as ISB-021, she relished in the feeling of the blood on her face. Though this time, it was Imperial blood. Her leg was burning, and it hurt to put her full weight on. A grim thought crossed her mind about what she'd do if she ended up with two prosthetic legs. Her peace didn't last long, however, as the TIE fighters circled back, screeching. She tried to duck again, but they must have spotted her. The heap of dead stormtroopers probably didn't help. With a grunt, Kallus ran, doing her best to avoid the lasers shooting up the ground below her feet. Her sore leg didn't help, and she stumbled. At that unfortunate moment, her comm lit up again.
With a groan, Alexsandr answered it.
"Hera!" She screamed into her comm, "I'm being followed! Took down four troopers, but I've got TIEs on me."
"Kallus, it's Rex. Hera's occupied trying to stop us from getting killed. If you can hold out, maybe we can come back-"
"Don't you kriffing dare come back! Just," Alexsandr sighed, "just get to safety. I'll meet you at the rendezvous."
A rock exploded into rubble next to her, and Alexsandr yelped. She threw herself out of the way, and desperately sprinted for cover. The TIEs had her surrounded, but Alexsandr vowed that she would not go down easy.
"Cut the channel Rex, they've got me." Alexsandr shouted, heading for the nearest building. She knew deep down it was futile but, well, she had to try. The main thing was keeping the information safe. If she could get to one of the meeting rooms, she could use the screens to export the Intelligence data - it was encrypted enough to risk it. Or, well, the best option would be to hand it to a General herself. Alive. Alexsandr laughed to herself. She knew being alive was not really an option anymore.
"Kallus just hold on, Hera's trying to find your location-"
"GO!" Her voice broke, "Please. Just, if Garazeb's alive, tell him for what it's worth I loved h-"
...
On the other end, Captain Rex hears Kallus' voice be drowned out by the TIE fighters firing. He hears Kallus swear and fumble with something and listens as something explodes in the distance. He hears more blaster fire, over and over - the screech of another ship joining in. Then, a much louder explosion, one that hurts his ears. Rex yanks off the headpiece, holding it a short distance away from his face. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he knows what's about to happen.
He hears Alexsandr Kallus getting torn to pieces.
Hears her ragged scream. Her choked sobbing. He's seen it more than enough on the battlefield with his brothers. Her breathing turns shallow, wheezing. He can hear the garbled nonsense of a half-dead soldier. She's gasping "Garazeb, please” over and over. She's probably been ripped through with shrapnel. He knows the sound of a detonator; knows what damage they can do. Rex also knows better than to keep talking. He knows she's not going to respond. He's just glad Hera wasn't the one who picked up. Rex is used to bearing witness to his friend's deaths. He cuts the comm, and sighs. He triangulates the communicator's last known position hoping someone will go to retrieve the fallen bodies. Maybe they can bury Kallus, at least.
He's secretly glad that Zeb isn't on board. Glad that the lasat has just commed Hera to let her know he's safe, that his ship was ambushed on his own separate mission - but everyone is ok, other than a few scrapes and a broken transponder. He's at the new base, waiting for them.
At least the lasat didn't have to hear his beloved die, screaming for him. Rex just hopes he doesn't try Kallus's comm next.