Chapter Text
Chapter 1--
Nico’s P.O.V
-Sunday-
I shift closer to the edge of the counter, watching Will. He just put cup brownies into the microwave that has been used semi-regularly this year. He’s been tricking me by showing up with recipes for sweet treats and snacks like this. Somehow, he gets me excited about it.
“This is a new recipe you haven’t tried yet?” I ask. Half of them have been, the other half has been stuff he’s made with his mom while they’ve been on the road. I like both.
"Completly new to me. I was looking through a cookbook I got off a Hermes kid and it seemed so easy. I hope they're good." He smiles at me.
“It was really basic. They’ll probably suck.” I say, even though the other recipes have been good.
"You doubt my baking ability ? What would you say if I told you Apollo was also the god of baked goods?"
“I’d believe you! He is the god of everything, at this point. I already got the story of how he ended up with the sun, how’d he end up with baked goods?”
"Ah. That's a long one, are you sure you're ready?" He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.
I gesture, motioning for him to come over to me. “I want to know.”
He comes closer, making up the space quickly so he's almost standing between my legs. "Well, it's all started at Drury Lane, where the muffin man lives...?" He leans forward, putting a hand on the counter just to my right. "Apollo visited him one sunny day."
I widen my eyes a bit, not looking at his face anymore. I stare at his chest, which is arguably worse. “Then what?”
"Well, that's when things got crazy. Muffin man invited Dad into the gingerbread house and... tried to put him in the oven to make more muffins!"
“Then, let me guess, instead, Apollo had sex with the muffin man?”
"Obviously. Then he killed him with his godly blinding light and became the God of baked goods." He chuckles.
“ Gasp . Can you do that to me?” I grab the front of his hoodie.
"Have sex with you? Or blind you? I can do both at the same time." He says in a low voice, moving his other hand to the counter, trapping me in.
“…Don’t do that.” I manage. He’s so dramatic sometimes, I can’t tell if he’s serious or not.
"I won't do either. I might glow on accident." He admits.
I smile a bit, pulling him closer and kissing his lips. “That part’s okay. I think it’s funny when you do.” I assure him.
"It's so embarrassing~" He complains, kissing me again.
“Doesn’t it mean you like what’s going on?”
He starts to glow softly. "I think so sometimes. It can mean I'm anxious, but right now? I'm happy."
“I’m glad we…” I trail off, moving my hand to the back of his head, intertwining my fingers with his curls, “have privacy to do this sort of stuff.”
I wouldn’t be so comfortable if there was a risk of us being caught. But it’s pretty late, and most everyone knows better than to enter my cabin anyway. I’m not even always here, so it’s not like someone would check on me either.
"I am too." He says, before softly kissing me again. "Your cabin is so chill compared to mine."
“No kidding. We already established how your father…gets around.”
Mine doesn’t. Not to mention, the choices of a few select demigods and other gods made it to where I will always be alone here.
That is why I want him here. I won’t let him leave.
He shakes his head a bit. "You're telling me. We'll run out of room if we're not careful."
I laugh at him a bit, bringing him closer so I’m really straddling his hips. I kiss his jaw, keeping it light. I don’t think he’ll assume it’s going to go much further than this; if I have to be honest, I don’t really know what sex is. I don’t want to do it though.
Kissing is becoming easier. Every time we do it, I feel like I’m pushing myself less. It’s just pleasant at this point, and I do like being close to him, ultimately. Even if touching feels like sandpaper sometimes and it reminds me that I don’t deserve any of this.
Then I also have to acknowledge that Will is a boy. Or not, sometimes I can ignore it.
"Can I be cheesy for a second?" He asks, staying close to me, moving his hands to my hips, just resting them there.
“You’re always welcome to be cheesy. I just am also welcome to make fun of you when you are.”
" Understood . Your laugh makes my heart flutter. You're so cute." He tells me, before leaning down and kissing me again.
His poor heart.
I deepen the kiss, but again , I don’t know what I’m doing. He seems to like it.
I play with his hair, and my other hand finds the bottom of his sweatshirt. I could see more glowing if I saw more of him in general… It’s dark in here, too. Always.
He leans into me. "Nico~ do you want me to take my hoodie off?"
I’d be glowing so bright right now if I were him.
“Yeah.” I say casually instead, because I’m not him, and I don’t glow.
He leans back just a bit and pulls his hoodie off over his head, his skull necklace clacking into his camp one before falling against his chest. " Tada ~ light show."
He drops the hoodie to the floor before coming back to where he was.
I smile, looking at the light. It really brings up the mood in here.
“Just what the Hades cabin needs. A lamp.”
He groans and rests his head on my shoulder. "There's nothing hotter than my boyfriend calling me a lamp ."
“ You’re the hottest lamp I’ve ever met .” I assure him.
"If I see you going into a Homegoods and chatting up other lamps? It's over." He chuckles against me, before leaving a kiss on my neck.
“I don’t know what Homegoods is. Lamp store? Do they have any more of this kind?” I rub his arm.
"I don't think so. I'm one of a kind." He smirks at me.
“I believe that.”
I adjust him to keep kissing him, deeply. I wonder where his hands will go if I don’t direct him, what he’ll do… I wonder if he’s liking this, what I could do better, how long it will go and what we’ll do next.
It doesn’t get far right now because the microwave goes off, making me jump a little. I hate that thing. All sudden noises are bad noises.
" Whoops . I forgot entirely." He says, hugging me gently. "Do we take a break here for some brownies?"
“I don’t want to.” I start kissing his neck again. We should…we need to try those. I don’t know if I can keep doing this if we take a break though.
He slips one of his hands under my shirt and onto my bare hip instead. "They'll get cold, though."
Speaking of cold, I must be cold. He’s always so warm, so it’s hard to tell if it’s me or him. Right now, his fingers are warming my skin, and my whole body starts to heat up, all in a good way. I never knew that could happen in a good way; warmth was always associated with anger and embarrassment.
“That’s fine, maybe they’re good cold.” I wrap my legs around him so he can’t move away.
"Honestly...? It's a brownie, it'll be good no matter what, won't it?"
“No clue.”
"Guess we'll find out." He says, putting his other hand under my shirt, resting it on my opposite hip. "I don't think I could ever get tired of kissing you."
“Will~ do you want me to take my shirt off?” I mimic him.
" Yes . If that's okay?"
“I won’t be glowing, but go ahead.”
"Would you be, if you could?" He asks, bringing my shirt off over my head and dropping it, too.
I’m not much to look at. He is, everyone likes him. I’ve heard so many girls whispering about him, and of course they do, I’m not surprised. He’s the son of Apollo and he looks the part.
Me? I don’t know why he’s with me. Especially if we’re basing things off appearance.
“I’d be brighter than the actual sun.” I say.
He leans down and kisses my shoulder. "Good. That's all that matters. You don't need to glow. I'd actually be terrified if you did." He moves his lips down, leaving a few kisses on my shoulder, moving along it and closer to my neck.
“I would be too.” I say.
I blink a few times, focusing my eyes behind him.
There’s an Iris message open. It’s Jason, standing at a sink or something and staring at us. He looks terrified, but he isn’t saying anything or ending the call.
My heart starts pounding. “ Jason !” I say.
"What?" Will pulls back, glaring at me like I did something wrong, before following my eyes. "Oh my gods, Jason ?!"
I’m mortified. My head is spinning. Now I really don’t know what to do.
“I had to ask you something! I’m so sorry, Nico!” Jason tries to explain himself.
I cover my ears with my hands like I’m ignoring him, but I’m not. I want to know what in Hades he was planning to bother me with. It’s almost bedtime here.
“What is it?” I ask shakily.
Is he still looking at me…? I’m very tempted to shadow travel away right now, but that wouldn’t get rid of my embarrassment, it would just make me embarrassed and also alone.
“I…don’t remember. Sorry, I’ve only been here for a minute.” He says, like that’s supposed to be reassuring.
Will leans down, still trying to block me with his body before he pulls his hoodie on over my head. I adjust, slipping my arms into the sleeves and rubbing my eyes. "...It happens. Why...? You don't know why you called?"
I can’t cry, not over this.
“It was important, I swear. I’m going to try to remember, give me a second…” Jason looks around the room he’s in, averting his gaze now.
Will crosses his arms over his chest. "Better be? Take your time. But... not too much."
He is not glowing anymore. Now the main light source is coming from Jason’s call.
“…” Jason’s face is still red, “ Nevermind .”
Will laughs soullessly. "Thanks, right. Call again tomorrow , if it matters?"
“I’ll call when I remember. Uhh…be careful?”
"..." Will sighs before reaching out and waving a hand through the mist, ending the call. He turns to me. "Are you okay...?"
I stare at him incredulously. I want to start yelling, to be outwardly upset, but there’s no reason to hurt Will like that. Instead, I just shake my head no . That was intense. I’m glad it was Jason and not… literally anyone else .
"Alright. I'll grab a shirt and we'll... take a break to try and process things."
“Sorry.” I tell him, pulling the hood over my head.
"Why would you be sorry?" He asks, going over to my dresser and digging around. "You didn't do anything wrong."
“Sorry for not being okay.”
"Don't be, really. That was jarring." He assures me, pulling a shirt out and looking at the tag, before bringing it on over his head.
I try not to laugh at his choice to put on one of my black t-shirts that are all too small on him. They’re baggy on me. Especially that one.
I’m too upset to laugh anyway.
“I’m sorry about that too, even though I didn’t do it.”
He shakes his head, coming back to me. "You can feel sorry, but I don't think you should. Iris messaging can be invasive ."
“It seems like Iris Messaging can be really dangerous.” I use different wording, imagining different scenarios.
If it was someone who didn’t know about us…? I would have died. I’m so lucky it wasn’t only someone who knows about the way I am, but it was in fact the first person who knows… who I am .
"It could have been. I wish there was a way to... put it on airplane mode, like a phone...?"
“…What?”
" Phones ? They have a setting where no one can call you and you can't call anyone."
“Go talk to Iris about that.”
"Think I can? She might do something to me if I try that." He says, leaning on the wall, staying near me but not too close.
Is he kidding? She would probably be fine with it, especially if he did a quest for her or something.
“Get your dad to talk to Iris then.”
He sighs. "I'll suggest it. We don't talk as much as you act like we do."
“I wish you would bring him over sometimes.” I try to lighten the mood. He isn’t ever so tense.
"Next time I talk to him, I'll let him know we all need to hang out." He smiles.
I shake my head a bit. That’s never going to happen. Gods have no business visiting for fun.
I pull on the strings on the hood, tightening it so less of my face is showing. “…Brownies?” I suggest.
"That's a good idea. Can you eat them if you cover up your face like that?" He asks as he opens the microwave.
“Probably.”
"I'm excited to see you try." He says. "...They're not too cold. Here." He puts a mug handle into my hand. "There's a fork in it.”
I adjust the hood so I can see and also eat. “That made me feel so sick.” I say, poking the brownie with the fork.
"Because it scared you, because it was Jason, or because of something else?"
“I already feel like God is going to strike me down with lightning without the son of lightning showing up.”
It doesn’t help that that has literally happened before.
"Right. So it's both." He muses, starting to eat his brownie as he slowly paces the floor in front of me. "I'm sorry that happened."
“Both and everything else. My life during the day is just as much of a nightmare as the actual nightmares I have during the night.”
"...Gods. I wish I could help you be less afraid all the time."
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so dramatic.” I say.
I just wish I could sleep, at this point. I stare down at my mug, thinking about that.
"It's alright, Nico. I want you to be open with me like this." He says softly. "Be as dramatic as you want."
“I don’t want to be.”
"Why not? I don't mind."
“I do mind, that’s why not.” I say, “…but can I stay with you tonight?”
"Obviously. Stay every night."
“You mean that?” I look at him, still trying not to cry.
He stops moving and looks at me again. "I really do. I want to be here for you through this."
Through what? This ?
“You’re here.” I soften up.
"I am. And I'm not going anywhere, period." He nods.
“Except places we’re both going.”
"Exactly. And I wouldn't go somewhere you couldn't come with me."
“Good,” I say, “Do you still need another kiss?”
"I always want one, but if you're upset, don't make yourself."
He says that, but I don’t trust him. “I mean, do you need an apology one?”
"I'll take one if you're offering." He says instead. He never tells me exactly what he wants. It drives me insane.
“I’m asking you. Am I not?”
He comes over and kisses me lightly. "You don't need to apologize."
It’s not as nice when I’m reminded of how scared I should be. “I am apologizing either way. I’m sorry .”
I go back to eating the brownie. It’s pretty good. This was a fair recipe.
"I forgive you then."
I force a bit of a smile. “Good. Thanks. It never happened.”
"Yes sir. It'll be gone from my mind if that's what you want."
“That would be perfect. Don’t mention it again.”
He mimics zipping his lips and then throwing the key behind him. "Got it."
That’s perfect. It won’t come up again, as long as I can help it.
…
-Monday-
I blink away the fuzziness in my sight, shifting in bed. I usually don’t sleep well, but something about being here right now makes me feel even more like I need to stay in bed.
I quickly realize why, when I feel the heat of another body in bed with me. I roll over, catching sight of blond locks poking out from under a blanket. “Will…?” I say softly. We’re so close…
I don’t get a real response, but I do feel a strong arm link around me and try to bring me closer, until I’m pressed against him. I squirm a bit, not sure what’s going on here. We’ve established so many times to not be so touchy.
That being said, this has happened before. He can just be so cuddly sometimes, and I give in often enough that I’m not surprised by this.
“Will?” A voice that is very much not Will’s repeats. He lifts his head from the pillow, pushing the blanket back and revealing his face.
Jason Grace.
Oh damn. Is this not real? Am I dreaming?
I think that every time something crazy happens, and half of the time, I’m actually right and I am dreaming.
“Sorry, what?” I say.
He pushes himself up with his forearm, his other arm locking around me so I can’t back away. Like he usually did, he’s holding me, and I feel safe. Safe, and more confused than ever.
My eyes trail down away from his face, staring at his chest and his shoulders. He isn’t wearing a shirt, and I’m right against him. He’s damn near perfect and I’d never dare to say that to him or anyone else.
Where is Will ?!
“You’re still thinking about him?” Jason asks me, pouting as if he cares.
“Um, of course? He’s my boyfriend.” I say. It still sounds weird to even me.
“I’m your boyfriend.”
Immediately, I know for a fact that this is a dream. What an impossible fantasy. I drop my head back and look at the ceiling. Where the Styx am I, even?
“You’re not real.” I huff.
He shifts so he’s over me, pushing himself up on his palm instead so he’s sitting. He stares down at me. “What are you talking about, Nico? Are you feeling okay?” He asks me sweetly.
Jason is always so insanely nice. I wonder if he’s as good of a guy in his thoughts as he is with what comes out of his mouth. There’s no way. People cannot be that pure.
In all honesty, Jason has every good trait Percy has and more. He’s smarter, kinder, he’s never even tried to choke me out… Jason’s only issues are that he doesn’t understand boundaries and he’s too good for someone who has such sadness in his eyes.
I liked Jason for a solid month before I started getting close with Will and it didn’t matter anymore. Since then, as you know (if you have been paying attention), I’ve avoided him.
“Nico,” He says more sharply, getting me to look at his face. He looks so real. “Are you listening?” He asks.
I shiver. Yeah, definitely a dream.
“I’m over Jason enough that this doesn’t matter. I like Will.” I mumble. Besides, aren’t these dreams supposed to reflect real-life events? What is this ?
“You’re talking nonsense, sweetheart.” He says, and my face warms up. He chuckles and leans down, kissing my cheek.
Boundaries . People have boundaries, Grace!
I want to remind him, but nothing comes out. Not because I can’t talk, but because I’m kind of wondering what will happen next…?
I swallow hard when he pulls back enough to look at me. He adjusts so he’s completely over me, unwrapping his arm from my waist and putting it on the opposite side of me.
“Look at me.” He commands, in a firm voice.
“I am looking at you.” I assure him. I’m not looking down at his body. I’m not sure if Dream Jason has any pants on, and I don’t want to find out.
I put a hand on his chest to push him back a bit, but it doesn’t move once it touches him. It’s like I can’t push him away, like he’s solid over me. My head wants him to move and my body doesn’t…?
“Do you like what you see?” He asks, in a totally not-Jason-Grace way.
“Yes.” I say blankly, locking my eyes on his.
He leans in again, and kisses my lips. I can’t describe it. He’s different from Will. I catch myself kissing him back even though I don’t want to. It’s all experimentally too, like I’ve never kissed anyone before.
This is what could have happened? Not something that has, by any means. It was familiar in the beginning, when I thought he was Will, but it quickly became so far from reality, it’s unrecognizable at this point.
He lowers his body onto mine, and keeps kissing me. I feel so warm, it’s like this is real. I would have to kill myself if it was. One way or another, I’d find a way.
My hand stays on his chest for a while, until he starts kissing down my neck. Then I drop it onto the bed. He’s doing a good job, too.
Somehow, it feels great.
He moves a hand to my hip, messing with my waistband. Damn, I’m completely drawn into this. I want to stop, but I’m… so interested .
We kiss again and he puts his hand under my shirt, running it up along my chest. I shiver, despite him being warm. “Jason.” I try to stop him.
This isn’t right at all. He isn’t Will, and even if he was, I wouldn’t want to be doing this. His touch is making my heart flutter and my head spin. Being touched, whether it’s caressing, grabbing, squeezing… I don’t like it.
My brain gets overloaded and I can’t move or argue with him. He keeps kissing me, trailing them down my neck before just taking my t-shirt off. Then he starts kissing my chest, which is moving up and down fairly rapidly since I’m freaking out right now.
I keep trying to catch my breath, but also make him stop. “Jason, cut it out. Don’t do this to me. Or to Will.”
Will is going to be so mad, rightfully so. I shouldn’t be doing this. I’m surprised the gods aren’t striking me down right now, including my father, Jason’s, and Will’s. Someone has to be seeing this happen!?
“Shut up.” He tells me, and I can’t talk anymore. My complaints vanish.
He smirks against my skin, and I don’t understand how this feels so real when I’ve never experienced it. I’ve never been this physically close to anyone . How am I able to dream of Jason’s body so clearly? Have I paid that much attention to him?
I look at him again as he gets rougher with me. His fingers dig into my hip. I can feel it. It hurts.
I try to yell, and nothing happens. He doesn’t care, either. I can and do squirm around, he holds me more firmly. Then he grabs me by my neck instead, pressing my head down and putting pressure on my throat so I can’t breathe anymore.
It reminds me of Percy.
We don’t need to get into it .
I grab his wrist with both of my hands, but I can’t do anything. I can’t push him off. I can’t breathe. I don’t know what he’s doing, or why…
I try gasping for air and he kisses me much harsher than before. Why can I imagine this?!
His hips press against mine, and I really wonder how I can imagine… that . I gasp in a different way, like this is in any way good , but I can’t take in any air still. I feel like I’m suffocating, which is a feeling I’m super familiar with.
He adjusts and his other hand slips between my legs.
I scream silently, my eyes tearing up. Pleasure . Mixed with terror .
This is blasphemous , and painful , and cheating . This is all the things I don’t want to do rolled up into something I want to do. I can’t say that.
I start sobbing, trying to scream more.
“ …Jason !?” It finally comes out of me, and all I can manage is his name when I want to plead for him to stop, to take his hands off of me.
I shoot upright.
End