Chapter Text
In his three years of dating Osamu, Shiro never regretted their choice to keep it a secret. Osamu wasn't ready to come out to his mom yet, and Shiro could and would respect that. It's not like they struggled to find time together or anything; they had been friends since middle school, so no one would even bat an eye at seeing the two of them together.
Things only got easier once Osamu joined the border. Shiro had joined six months before him and had already been promoted and joined the Kazama squad. So he did the only logical thing and taught his boyfriend everything he knew. Shiro helped him get accepted as a C-Rank and promoted to B-Rank. Shiro cherished every second he spent with Osamu. Every moment in the solo rank wars room, every time he snuck Osamu into his squad's training room when no one else was there.
The two of them even learned together. Osamu wanted to be an all-rounder, so Shiro temporarily changed his trigger layout, learning how to fight with mid-range triggers to help him. After a year and a half of training almost constantly, Shiro was sure Osamu could handle himself.
So why was he staring at all this medical equipment through a glass wall? And why was his boyfriend the one hooked up to it?
It wasn't right. It felt as if he had closed his eyes. He would wake up, and Osamu would be lying next to him, unharmed, just like he remembered the sleepovers they had back in middle school.
Kikuchihara was removed from his thoughts by approaching footsteps in the hallway. Damn it! How did he get so distracted that he didn't notice? Taking a deep breath, he composed himself before the door opened, and Jin walked through with one of the new Takoma recruits. His name was Yuma Kuga if Shiro remembered correctly. Osamu had nearly died for the kid a few weeks ago, electing to take on a Bamster alone instead of waiting for backup.
"Hello, Jin, Kuga." Shiro bowed slightly at the two of them. Yuma narrowed his eyes at Shiro.
"Who are you?" Yuma asked, and Shiro could hear the distrust in his voice from a mile away.
"I'm a... Friend of Osamu's," Shiro said, unsure as to why he hesitated. He made his way towards the door, intending to leave, but was stopped by Jin, who placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Osamu will be fine," Jin said. Shiro nodded in acknowledgment before shaking him off and exiting the room.
********
"Who was that?" Yuma asked Jin, briefly looking up at the older teen before turning his eyes to Osamu.
"That was Shiro Kikuchihara. He's a member of A-Rank #3, and as far as I know, Osamu is his best and only friend outside of his teammates." Jin explained
"I wonder why I've never met him before if that's the case," Yuma wondered aloud. Osamu never mentioned him, though come to think of it, he does look familiar."
Yuma had to think about it, but he remembered where he had recognized the boy. Osamu had a picture of him and Kikuchihara on his phone lock screen. Still, it was weird that Yuma was just meeting him now; the two must be considerably close, given what Jin said. Yuma wondered what Osamu's reasoning could be for keeping that a secret from him.
*******
Shiro shoved his hands in his pockets as he made his way back to the Kazama Squad operating room.
All you have to do is make it through twenty minutes, Shiro told himself; twenty minutes, then you can go home and not worry about what others think.
He opened the door, cursing internally, when he saw Kazama, Utagawa, and Mikami still there. Mikami was at her monitor, surely typing a report, while Kazama and Utagawa were sitting in the chairs by the entrance discussing something. However, everyone seemed to stop what they were doing when he walked in, eyes landing on him.
"Hey, Shiro! Where did you disappear to?" Utagawa called out as Shiro grabbed his backpack off the table, sliding on the straps before answering.
"I went to talk to some of the other squads," Shiro lied. "I wanted to find out what happened to the other humanoid neighbors."
Lying to his squadmates was way easier than it should be, but Shiro had been lying about this for long enough for it to come naturally.
"Are you alright, Shiro?" Mikami asked him, "You look shaken really up."
"Of course, I'm not okay," He wanted to scream. "My boyfriend is lying in a hospital bed, currently in a coma, except I can't even visit for long or stay with him because nobody can know he's my boyfriend, and if I just do what I want and stay by his side day night people are going to find out which defeats the whole point of keeping it a secret for almost three years now!"
At least, that's what he wished he could say.
"I'm fine," was what he said instead, walking back to the doorway. "I'm going home now," Shiro added, not leaving room for further questioning.
"See you tomorrow," Kazama said.
Shiro could tell Kazama hadn't bought his bluff; that was fine as long as his feelings didn't affect his training; he could put up a convincing cover.
Shiro left headquarters as fast as he could, not wanting to run into anyone else who would try to hold him up. After he left, the walk home was largely uneventful. Shiro lived on the edge of the restricted zone, so it only took him about 10 minutes to get home.
When he opened the door, he was greeted by a small creature coming and rubbing against his legs.
"Hey, Sora," he smiled at the sight of the calico kitten. As soon as he had locked the door and dropped his bag on the floor next to it, he scooped her up and cradled her in his arms. If his mom was here, she would scold him for being careless with his belongings, but his mom wasn't here—she almost never was.
He took Sora and went to his room upstairs. He held his kitten close, and she snuggled against him, relishing in the attention. Shiro sighed as he lay on his bed, finally releasing himself from the mask he lived behind and allowing himself to feel the weight of emotion the day had forced upon him. He was unable to keep himself from crying any longer.