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Shiv’s never been good with her emotions, doesn’t know how to express ones outside of her extreme highs and extreme lows, it’s just how she was raised.
It’s better to be emotionless than to be too emotional. Now when she feels too emotional these days, she can only isolate herself until everything feels normal again.
Karolina’s not the biggest fan of this, wishes Shiv would trust her with her emotions, knows it’s not in Shiv’s coding. Still, she wants nothing more than to care for her.
“Where are you going?” Karolina asks, catching Shiv’s arm as the woman goes to leave the room, her hands gripping at red tresses.
Shiv looks at Karolina, her eyes of a deer’s in headlights. “I need to be alone for a moment.” It’s the best she’s communicated in months.
Karolina nods, lets go of Shiv’s arm, and tilts her head when the woman remains fixed. “That’s alright,” she assures her with an encouraging nod, knows Shiv’s driving herself mad on the inside.
“I-” Shiv wants to say something; maybe defend her actions, over-explain to Karolina why she is the way that she is. Maybe apologise for being such a horrible girlfriend.
The ideas fail to create words and Shiv’s left opening and closing her mouth.
“I’ll be here when you’re ready, Siobhan.” The words are so gentle from Karolina’s mouth yet Shiv’s sure she’s about to shatter at them.
“Thank you,” the redhead finally gets out, the tiniest of cracks splitting at her walls. “Thank you.” Shiv repeats, features softening as she looks at Karolina.
Nobody’s ever been so gentle with her- has never tried to be. Her heart breaks in a good way, for how Karolina treats her as if her flaws are only human.
Shiv is only human.
Karolina smiles faintly. When the hands in Shiv’s hair fall to the woman’s sides, Marolina reaches with her hand to stroke a tense shoulder- a simple, yet so complex in its meaning, touch.
She nods then, “find me in a bit?” Karolina asks.
“I will.” It’s Shiv’s turn to nod, the smallest of smiles on her face- she feels seen.