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Uzi took a sip of her root beer as N led them around the mall.
She hardly noticed when N stopped in front of Spencer’s.
She panicked, “N what are you doing?”
He turned around, “This store looks like it has stuff you like!”
“N, NOOOOOOOOO!”
Doll laughed from behind her, “he’s gonna cry the second he comes out.”
Uzi SPRINTED at full fucking speed towards N, “Don’t go to the back!” she yelled, much to the dismay of everybody else in the Spencers that she bumped into along the way.
“Don’t worry, I won’t get lost!” N called back, walking forwards.
By the time Uzi could get out of the crowd, N was already at the counter with a look of pure fear on his face as he rang up whatever he bought.
She ran up to him, “why would you go into the back?” she asked.
N turned around, looking like he’s about to throw up,”BECAUSE DOLL TOLD ME THERE WERE TOYS BACK THERE,” N cried.
Doll stood outside of Spencers laughing her ass off, Uzi shot her a look.
“I never specified what kind of toys!” she shouted.
“I just thought I could find a sick t-shirt with one of those quirky emo bands you like,” N sighed, shaking his head. He felt ill. All he wanted was to find a #sick gift and rent The Goofy Movie.
Uzi put a hand on his back as they walked out of the Spencers, “let’s go get pretzels, N.”
Doll shouted, “sick! I love pretzels.”
“You’re paying for your own, Doll.”
“Awe shucks!” she slapped her knee and kicked the ground.
Lizzie ran full tilt towards them, “I just clocked out, oh my god! I’m so glad you’re here, I am so sick of seeing ugly people,”
“Awe, thanks!”
“Not you, N, I was talking to Doll,”
“Oh,” he frowned.
N and Uzi sat down at a table, pretzels in hand.
N picked up the Spencers’ bag, “I bought this for you,” he beamed.
Uzi took the bag and looked inside, it was an MCR tee.
“Do you like it? I know you listen to them sometimes.”
“I love MCR, I love the shirt, I love you, idiot,” She wept, then they fist-bumped.
Doll and Lizzie stared at them with disgusted expressions.
“Get a room,” Doll said as she sipped her black coffee.
“God, straggots, you can’t avoid them these days,” Lizzie sighed, drinking her lemonade really loudly.
N sits there trying to come up with a cool comeback.
“Well, we can’t get a room… because,” he paused and sat there for a moment, ”We are in a mall not a house,” N said enthusiastically.
“Good one, N,” Uzi said, pushing up her cool sunglasses
“Whatever, you’re wearing shades inside, straggot,” Lizzie gasped, and threw a pretzel bite at Uzi.
N frowned, “stop calling us that!”
Doll shrugged, “It’s not mean if it’s true.”
“That’s…not true?” N said, but it sounded more like a question.
Uzi butted in, ”No it’s not true, that word isn’t even real,” Uzi said as she grabbed Lizzies lemonade and drank it.
N looked over confused,”If the word isn’t real then how did Lizzie say it?”
“It’s a made up word, N.”
He looked down and thought for a second, “Can people just really make up words like that,” he muttered.
Lizzie stared at the three terrible people around her and her deceased lemonade. It was covered in Uzi cooties. She was miserable.
“How could you,” She muttered.
“Easily.” Uzi said, slamming down the empty lemonade cup.
Lizzie picked up the cup carefully before tossing it in Uzi’s general direction.
Uzi tried to catch the cup but instead ended up falling out of her chair.
“OH- YOU LITTLE BITCH,” Uzi yelled as she grabbed Doll’s black coffee and poured it all over Lizzie's hair.
N shrieked, “GUYS, CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?” He wept, flailing his hands.
“She started it! Plus I did her a favor changing her ugly piss yellow hair,” Uzi said as she sat back down.
“This is so transphobic, and during pride month, too,” Lizzie sighed, wiping a tear, “God, I shouldn’t have gotten those tear duct rhinestone replacement surgeries.”
The whole table went silent as they looked over at Lizzie in horror.
“Is that even legal?” Doll asked in a concerned tone.
“No, I got it done in a really shady part of Cuba for my sixteenth birthday,”
“How the fuck, no one likes you,” Uzi muttered
“Nobody likes YOU weirdo! You fucking listen to Three Days Grace UNIRONICALLY!” Lizzie shrieked, reaching over the table and grabbing for Uzi’s falsies.
“AT LEAST I’M NOT THE ONE WHO GOES TO SHADY PLACES IN CUBA TO GET RANDOM PARTS OF THEIR BODY CHANGED,” Uzi yelled.
“RHINESTONE REPLACEMENT SURGERY WAS IN THAT YEAR!!!!”
“IT SHOULD NEVER BE IN!” she shrieked.
N and Doll sat there in amusement and horror as they tried to keep up with the argument.
J walked up to them, “so my boss just said you’re not allowed to be screaming in the food court-”
“Oh yeah? AND WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE???”
“I’m on security, Uzi.”
“SHIT!”
Uzi and Lizzie sat back down as they both gave each other mean looks.
“We're so sorry J, they just got into an argument. We won’t let it happen again,” N said in a genuinely apologetic tone.
“Huh, didn’t think anybody Uzi was friends with could legitimately be apologetic,” she replied, crossing her arms.
“That’s crazy, V would’ve just said ‘k’,” Doll sighed, shaking her head. Thinking about her comrade lost to summer school was heartbreaking.
“You’re right,” Lizzie sniffled.
J nodded, “RIP our favorite Lush employee.”
Uzi frowned, “As much as I hate Lush, V will be missed.”
“Why do you hate Lush?” N asked, taking another bite of his pretzel.
“It’s just a lot of smells all at once and you can’t actually smell anything until you’ve already bought it and then you’re like ‘aww man, this smells like actual dog shit’ but you already lost the receipt!” she rambled, punching the table.
“Damn, okay,” V scoffed, appearing behind the group.
Uzi shrieked, “Where the fuck did you come from?”
“The door?”
“I thought you were at summer school,” N added, taking a sip of his Yoohoo.
“Summer school let out last month.”
“Huh? But it’s June fifteenth!” Uzi said confusedly.
“Uzi, It’s July thirty-first.”
“FUCK!”