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It was 10:30 in the morning. Mischa had counted the amount of money he had saved up for the past few years, he had a good few thousands. It was all he needed in order to follow through with his plan.
Mischa had big plans for his future, especially with his mother and his boyfriend, Noel. The two figures that brought the most joy into his life meeting each other was a big dream of his. He’d secretly fantasize about it, hence why he desperately saved up for a two-ticket round trip to Ukraine. Although the last time he saw his mother she was awfully ill, he still had faith in her. He knew she was strong enough to endure and survive uranium poisoning.
Until he checked his mailbox.
The only thing in there was an envelope…
...from a ukrainian funeral parlor.
He knew exactly what was in that envelope. But he couldn’t open it.
Not alone .
-
Noel’s phone rang in his pocket as he made himself breakfast. He took said phone and looked at it.
Mischa Bachinski.
“Hi Misch!” Noel exclaimed as he answered the call, smiling happily.
“Poet um— can you come over? please-?” Mischa’s voice trembled as he finished his plea. He was clearly trying his best to pull himself together, to no avail.
Noel gasped quietly at his boyfriend’s distressed tone. “oh my god— um, give me a second, ok? I’ll be there in a bit.”
Noel finished making breakfast, put it in a to-go box Constance had given him the week before, he had made sure to make more for Mischa, knowing he probably hadn’t eaten yet.
He grabbed his car keys, sealed the to-go box and bolted out his front door, making sure the front door was locked before rushing to his car. Wouldn’t be a good idea to leave the door unlocked while his mother was asleep in the house. She’d worked hard the day before, and deserved rest without interruption or anything of the sort.
Anyway, Mischa.
He stepped in the driver’s seat, turning the car on and looking at the time on the small screen in the front. 11:08am. Mischa had called at 10:58am, and the thought of that made Noel want to rush even more.
-
*knock knock*
Mischa was tugging on his own hair, both sad and angry about the envelope. He was crying, so much that he didn’t realize he was ripping his own hair out. The angriest boy in town was indeed upset and wanted to scream and destroy things around his apartment, yet all he could physically do was cry.
*knock knock knock*
Mischa heard the knocks this time, and with shaky hands let go of his hair and walked to the front door. He accidentally jolted the doorknob due to his severely trembling hands, but managed to open the door.
Noel, on the other side, looked very concerned. “Hi mon amour, is everything okay?”
Mischa shook his head and held his arms open. Noel walked into his arms and held him in an embrace, running his hand through the brunette’s hair. “Do you know if you can tell me what’s wrong?”
At this point, Mischa couldn’t hold back his emotion anymore. He sobbed into his partner’s chest, “мама” repeatedly, crying out louder and louder each repetition.
-
From that moment, everything seemed to make sense for Noel. He looked at the slightly crumpled envelope on the couch, oh shit .
He held the Ukrainian as he sobbed loudly, shutting the door behind him and guiding him to the couch nearby. It was L-shaped, and Noel led them to the elongated side of the couch. Mischa broke away from the hug, still sobbing, just quietly, as Noel sat down and set the to-go box he had in his hand to the side. He patted his thigh, then gently grabbed Mischa’s hand and guided him onto his lap and embraced him in another hug. “I’m sorry, love,” Noel said, holding him and kissing his cheek as Mischa began to bury his head in the crook of his lover’s neck.
“Have you.. opened the envelope?” Noel asked, trying to be careful with his words. A single mistake in word choice could make things a lot worse than they already are. Mischa shook his head, wrapping his arms around Noel’s neck. Noel could feel his trembling hands, and in response, he traced lines up and down his back.
-
After a good fifteen minutes of dwelling in the comfort of his lover’s embrace, Mischa decided to open the envelope. Whether he liked it or not, he had to open it. “I’m ready,” Mischa whispered, his body along with his voice still trembling from the huge breakdown he just had. He sat up a little, looking at Noel.
“Okay,” Noel said, smiling a little. The poet gave him a gentle peck and turned to the envelope and picked it up, handing it to him. Mischa grabbed it, staring at it for a moment. He took a deep breath, adjusting himself to lay on Noel’s chest, then opened it.
Surprisingly, there were two sheets of paper and a thin chain with a pearl attached to it inside. He opened one, which read, in Ukrainian:
Mischa Bachinski,
We are devastated to inform you that your mother, Tamara Bachinski, has passed away due to uranium poisoning on Monday, September 14, 2024. We are very sorry for your loss and send our deepest condolences. She was laid to rest in a funeral home in Horlivka.
For further information, feel free to call us at ———-.
His heart wrenched apart when he read the date of her passing. She died on the same day of the cyclone accident that happened two years ago. Thinking about it made him wish Karnak never brought him back to life. He burst into tears again, crying into the crook of Noel’s neck.
——
After Mischa read and translated the letter, he knew exactly what went through Mischa’s head. September 14th marked the day they died and came back to life thanks to Karnak. His eyes began to water, imagining the pain of knowing that your mother wasn’t just gone, she passed on the anniversary of your own death.
He held him in his arms as he cried into his arms, playing with his hair and pressing kisses to his head. “shhh, it’s gonna be okay amour.”
“мама..” Mischa cried quietly, clearly overwhelmed by the pain.
“I know, Misch, I know,” Noel reassured, trying his best not to make a wrong move as he patted his back.
——
Mischa looked at the paper he just read with teary eyes, crumpled it up and threw it across the room. He picked up the second paper, observing it while still crying. He flipped it over;
мама.
His eyes widened. With weak and shaky hands, he opened the paper.
It was in English. Very broken and ungrammatical English, but it was still English. There was a sprinkle of Ukrainian in it, but it was about 95% English.
“Poet?”
——
“Yes, love?”
“Can you read it for me?”
Noel’s eyes widened. “what- why?”
“please?” Mischa pleaded, handing the letter.
Noel took the letter, unsure about what he was about to do. This was his lover’s mother, he had no business in this. He felt guilty for snooping in on something that wasn’t his business at all. Nevertheless, it was what Mischa wanted. So, he began reading.
My dear Mischa,
My time come моє світло. It’s ok, I am safe, I am well now. I am in a better place. I am not sick.
Do not be sad for me, моє світло. I am with you always. I never leave.
I love you, моє світло. I love you when you born, I love you right now.
Noel paused for a moment, processing what he was about to read aloud. Mischa smiled as he heard his lover read on;
I love your boyfriend, Noel, too. Tell him thank you because he help you be who you are. I am with him too. I watch over you and him, day and night, forever. Marry him, моє світло, for he is my son-in-law. He make you happy, that is all I want for моє світло.
I left my necklace to you моє світло. Keep it.
It is time for my letter to finish.
I love you, моє світло.
Live your long life happy.
Love,
мама
Noel smiled softly at the dedication, then looked to Mischa, who was still crying but smiling. He looked back at the envelope, setting the letter down and taking the necklace out for Mischa to see it.
——
мама’s favorite necklace.
Mischa took a look at the necklace and held it as Noel gave it to him. “мама.. я завжди буду пам'ятати тебе і любити. не залишай мене, будь ласка.”
He knew Noel had no idea what he was saying, since the only words he knew in Ukrainian were “my light”, since his mother used to call him that. Nevertheless, even though the pain of her being gone was unbearable, he had Noel, who was right next to him (or, under him) and comforting and holding him. He kissed the necklace and cried a bit before falling asleep in his lover’s arms.
—
As Mischa drifted to sleep in his arms, Noel thought about the letter. Tamara Bachinski, whom he’d never met, loved him. Sure, Mischa talked about his mom to him a lot, but he didn’t think it’d be vice versa. He smiled, thinking about her. He gently took the necklace from Mischa’s hands and placed it around his lover’s neck while he slept.
I love you too, мама.