Chapter Text
𝗝𝘂𝗹𝘆, 𝟲𝟮𝟴 𝗔𝗨
𝘽𝙤𝙙𝙝𝙞 𝙋𝙤𝙫
𝘟𝘢'𝘦𝘯 𝘙𝘪𝘰-𝘰𝘯… 𝘉𝘰𝘥'𝘪 𝘋'𝘳𝘢𝘯… 𝘎𝘢-𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘛𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘴… 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯 𝘚𝘢𝘯𝘣'𝘯… 𝘚𝘰-𝘪𝘭 𝘛𝘦-𝘳𝘺…𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤'𝘴-
He finally dozed off, face flat on the pillow, back exposed. From where I sit at the foot of the bed, I can clearly see all the hundred and seven red lined cuts on his back.
He's been up all night, delirious and not making sense. To other ears it may seem he is sleep talking gibberish. To mine? I have been hearing it all night. Names. Hundred and seven names. In order of age except mine, mine stands next to his own. I assume it's because we are family, our blood makes us more responsible than others.
He's been reciting all hundred and seven names in a loop. Since last night, since Garrick and I found him sat leaning against the chair on his chest and his back exposed covered in blood, delirious and heating up in fever. Probably from all the cuts, the pain and dehydration, and no food because he's heaving anything that he swallows.
He spoke three words. Just three words other than the names.
𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘭. 𝘙𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘍𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘳.
We know what it means. Garrick and I. He informed us in solemn tones what he did to pardon our lives. Then he said he will seal the deal with the fucking archaic Tyrrish Custom. And we sat there. Just sat there in the next room while that vile piece of shit woman cut into him a hundred and seven times. For us. To let us live.
“𝘊𝘪'𝘳𝘢𝘯 𝘋𝘦'𝘶𝘯… 𝘌𝘺𝘢 𝘉𝘳-𝘬𝘦𝘯… 𝘐𝘮-𝘨'𝘯 𝘊𝘢'𝘶𝘭𝘰…”
He is still reciting in his sleep. It was clear in the beginning, the first four loops. When he was awake, not sane, just awake. Then he slowly dozed off, then woke up, then dozed off again. It started getting slurry then, but the reciting doesn't stop. He's still mumbling.
I wish I could take it away. Take the pain away. Make him sleep a little peacefully. But I can't.
At least we did our best to clean him up. Clean all the blood up, cleant the cuts up so it doesn't go septic. The bleeding has stopped for now. He can't be mended, it's against the fucking custom.
I want to scream, “Who bloody cares, he is fucking delirious! Mend him.” But to whom?
The woman who did it? The General whose dragon burned our parents? The King who made us watch? They, who would have killed us kids if not for him bargaining for our lives?
The door opens and Garrick steps in.
“How's he?”
“Dozed off again.”
“𝘑𝘢'𝘦 𝘚𝘶𝘵𝘩-𝘢𝘯𝘥… 𝘓𝘪'𝘮 𝘔𝘢-𝘪… 𝘋𝘰𝘶𝘨-𝘭…”
Garrick nods and hands me two muffins, “That's all I got for now. Cooks are starting breakfast soon anyway. We'll get it early.”
We have been up all night looking after Xaden, and it's sunrise now, by the looks from outside the tiny open window.
We are in Calldyr City, in the outhouse to the palace. All of us ‘Marked Ones’, and Lady Danbar with her unborn child. They started calling us that three days ago, after the relics etched on us when our parents burnt. Three days since I saw my mother burn.
In a month they'll kill Lady Danbar too, after the baby is born. They say it's going to be a girl.
“How's Imogen?” I ask Garrick, I know he stopped by her room. She's been a wreck since that day. We have all been. Xaden somehow stood with his wits intact bargaining for our lives. And now I need to keep myself sane for his sake.
“Still in bed. Still not talking,” Garrick replies.
“How long do you think before they send us off?”
“The deal just finalised yesterday, so… three to five maybe?” He answers.
“We'll be sent earlier. He will be the first”, I point at Xaden.
“They'll have to find someone willing to foster the Great Betrayer's son”, Garrick mocks.
I roll my eyes, “ Yeah. He'll still be first to go. We need to make sure the cuts are at least half healed before that. He can't even put on a shirt for crying out loud.”
Garrick sighs, “ Yeah, you're right. We'll go down to the infirmary after breakfast to see if they'll spare us some salve and tonic. I am not holding hope though.”
I nod, there's no good hoping that they'll do anything for us, even the healers. We aren't even allowed near the castle without supervision. Maybe we can catch the nurse who is looking after Lady Danbar.
“Take a nap Bodhi. I'll keep watch until breakfast.”
I should, but will I even be able to fall asleep? Garrick's been up all night too, he should sleep. Before I can argue sleeping arrangements, there's a knock on the door.
Garrick gets up to answer, his frame blocks the view and I don't see who is on the other side, up and about this early. I don't need to see, for the way Garrick's voice sounds, cold and angry, I know exactly who,“ Why are you here again? Missed any cuts or what?”
I am up beside him in an instant, facing the carefully controlled face of Lilith Sorrengail. Gods, I haven't felt hatred this heavy for anyone.
“The foster family for Riorson has been arranged. He will be leaving for Tirvainne to the Lindell estate in two days.”
Two days!! We were just thinking it would be at least… no he can't- we can't leave… not in his condition…
Garrick is thinking along the same lines, “That's not possible, he isn't-”
“Healthy enough to do it”, Lillith interrupts him, “That's why two days. He would have been sent today otherwise.” She then proceeds to produce three glass bottles from her jacket, I recognise two of them immediately. A reddish pink salve for cuts and a greenish potion for pain, I had mum apply the salve on me and Xaden so many times, drank that nasty potion too, I would recognize those anywhere. The other one is a clear tonic I don't know.
“Salve, pain and fever”, she hands the bottles to Garrick, “ Use them or not I don't care. He will be leaving in two days. Your foster situation will be arranged by that time.” She doesn't wait for our reply, just turns and leaves.
“𝘊𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘚𝘩𝘶'𝘯𝘦… 𝘈𝘴𝘭-𝘯𝘨 𝘍𝘦-𝘳𝘺… - 𝘋𝘢𝘯𝘣𝘢𝘳… 𝘟𝘢'𝘦𝘯 𝘙𝘪-𝘴𝘰𝘯…”
I am too tired, too exhausted and too angry to say anything coherent. Garrick just closes the door and lets out a string of curses from his huge arsenal.
Two days. Two days and I won't see my cousin for four years. I have been following him and Garrick since I was able to fucking walk, I don't have memories without them. Always the three of us in the summers. Getting scolded for running the roofline. Stealing biscuits and cakes from the kitchens. Then Xaden went through a phase of being too cool for his ‘baby’ cousin and he and Garrick went gallivanting around town and I befriended Imogen. That soon passed and I was one of three again, Imogen tagging along decked in pink following Garrick anywhere he went. Then came secretly listening through the doors when Uncle Fen held meetings after meetings. Getting scolded again.
All that feels so far now. So so far. We won't hear Uncle Fen arguing logistics with Mum again. We won't hear Uncle Tavis laugh at their antics. It's all so fucking painful.
And I won't see Xaden for four years. I won't see Garrick. Or Im.
I am so lost in thought that I almost don’t hear Garrick speak, “You don't think she'd poison any of this do you?”
“There's definitely a chance,” I find myself replying, “They just made an agreement yesterday, maybe the King went back on it who knows. He's too delirious and in pain for us to not take the chance that it isn't poisoned.”
“Right. You know the dosage?”, Garrick hands me the pain potion and I nod, walking over to Xaden. Might as well wake him up because appling the salve will hurt and he will wake anyway. We set to work quietly.
~•~•~
Two days later, there's six of us stood outside the building in front of a carriage. Imogen stands on one side consoling Sloane Mairi, Liam Mairi’s little sister as she holds onto her brother in a death grip, Xaden is talking quietly to Garrick on other side, his movements are stilted, well of course. This morning was the first time he put a shirt on since that night.
His fever set away the evening before yesterday, after we had given him the fever potion twice. The pain of course is still there, at least the random bleeding has stopped and cuts have started drying up. And he has been coherent and stopped reciting those names for two nights now. I have learnt them by heart now too.
I go over to where Liam stands, I knew his mother… well every one of us children knew his mother, her protection rune was the one…
Him? I have talked to a few times. He is that bright sunshine type of kid. Kind and friendly. Gosh he doesn't deserve any of this, none of us do.
Xaden and Liam are being sent to Lindell estate in Tirvainne. From what we have heard before, Lindells’ are good friends of the King. It's going to be a definite shitshow for them.
I am being sent to Luceras tomorrow, far far away from Xaden, on the opposite side of the continent really. Garrick's going to be in Morraine. The only good news among any of this is Imogen will be an hour away from my foster house. So if Zihnal blesses, we will be able to meet.
“Hey Liam, can I speak to you for a second? It won't take long”, I add immediately after my question as Sloane gives me a death glare, Imogen takes her away. Liam gives me a smile, how he manages a fucking smile among all this is beyond me.
“I- I know it's a lot to ask b-but could you”, I don't know how to ask this of a fifteen year old who lost his parents too, as I hold out the bottles of salve and pain tonic to him, “ Xaden's-” how the fuck do I explain this to him?
For all his worth, Liam's eyes widen and he takes the bottles from me, “ Cuts, right? There were rumours he went through with that custom for us all.”
I nod, choking up. So all the “Marked Ones” know. I thought it was just the "pardon your lives for compulsory enlistment to the Rider's quadrant to prove your loyalty" part that was spread. But the custom of responsibility? Great. Fucking great. Xaden won't be happy. Well who is going to tell him? Not me.
I hand out the clear potion for fever too, towards Liam, “ His fever let out the evening before but it's a long journey to Tirvainne, so… umm keep that too for safety. And if you… uh… could apply the salve and force that pain potion down his throat three hours from now… that would…”
Liam nods, “ Of course I will, don't worry about it. Gosh I wouldn't be able to wear a shirt after that, how he is… I'll force him, don't worry.”
“T-Thank you so much Liam, I-I am sorry you have to l-leave your-”, gods why am I choking up, I gesture towards his sister.
“I know, it's going to be very hard on her, we haven't ever been separated, but I'll see her in six years, right?” he smiles, he fucking smiles, gosh that's a beautiful smile, “ And I'll write lot's to her while I am away… if I am allowed.”
“Yeah. Yeah that'll be good. I-I should”, I look towards where Xaden stands now talking to Imogen and Sloane. The horses for the carriage are brought out. They'll be leaving in the next few minutes.
“Yeah, go to your cousin, goodbye Durran”, Liam smiles at me again, “See you in five.”
I hug Xaden, mindful of his back. We haven't hugged since I was eleven. He wasn't the “emotional typa guy” whatever that shit meant. Today, he hugs me tight.
“Live. I'll see you in four years,"he says. His face doesn't show any emotion, but his eyes and voice betrays him. He's surely at the brink of tears. Well, so am I.
“You too. Survive. Four years and I better not hear you are dead”, I warn him playfully. He chuckles.
“Malek denied me a place at court, I doubt he'll allow me up there that soon.”
“Live,” I say. “Live,” he echoes.
Then he is gone. I trudge back upstairs with Garrick and Imogen for our last night together for the foreseeable future.
~•~