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Shang Qinghua always had a thing for unavailable people. Richer, hotter, taken? Sign him up!
(He was not a homewrecker, though. When he liked someone who was already in a relationship, he just shut the fuck up, and moved on with his life. Maybe rubbed out a quick one or two, but that’s it! No ruining happy relationships!)
He had a lot of crushes throughout his life. People fascinated him, and he never had many friends, which was the reason he struggled with differentiating between romantic and platonic feelings. Usually, every time he talked to someone new, he ended up with a crush. A hyperfixation , if you will. It usually passed quickly! Nothing unusual! He was a romantic at heart, and learned to ignore those wistful thoughts!
His current crush of the month was Shen Yuan, son of a rich merchant, collaborating with their sect. He was a sickly young man with a lot of knowledge about beasts and plants. He was pretty, mean, passionate, and exactly Shang Qinghua’s type. He was thrilled to be seeing an actual cultivator, which made him endearing to talk to.
Shang Qinghua wasn’t an SSS-rate cultivator, and his work mostly focused on dealing with paperwork and trade, but he tried to highlight some of his cool moments on missions. It made Shen Yuan’s face light up beautifully, and that was a dangerous sight for Shang Qinghua’s heart. He made sure to send some not-dangerous flowers alongside the next batch of goods, hoping they would bring a smile to Shen Yuan’s face.
In return, he was now staring at the letter from Shen Yuan. There was a familiar sense of giddiness that accompanied the message from his crush. God, he felt so silly! Like having a crush on his straight classmate in high school! It was refreshing and stupid, and he couldn’t help but giggle. His lips subconsciously curved into a smile each time his gaze stopped at the scroll.
My son asked me to deliver this letter for you , the merchant laughed, as he passed the letter to Shang Qinghua. Hope you don’t mind his stickiness. He never had many friends, and he is fascinated by beasts, plants and your cultivation work. Thank you for humoring him.
Shang Qinghua wasn’t really humouring anyone, but he smiled at the merchant regardless.
I’m enjoying conversations with your son. It truly is no bother.
He didn’t have to know about Shang Qinghua’s feelings. It was a momentary crush (that has already lasted for over two months, but! That’s okay! They didn’t see each other often! Surely Shang Qinghua will get over it with a little more contact!), and if his feelings came to light, he would simply apologize and explain that it’s nothing serious! He didn’t expect anything! He was aware that he had nothing to offer as a spouse! He had more important things to do! No time for relationships!
His fingers brushed against paper. It was a pretty thing. Shen Yuan had a beautiful hand-writing, and Shang Qinghua never thought he was going to receive a personal, no business - related letter, one that didn’t need to be written, but was created out of someone’s desire to express something. He didn’t want to open it in fear of humbling Shen Yuan’s heavenly work. His hands tended to stain and destroy, and he never quite managed to make his handwriting look neat and clean. It wasn’t illegible most of the time, but that’s hardly something to get excited over. Once he got his hands on Shen Yuan’s work, it would become stained. And he truly wanted to cherish this little letter as a beautiful thing it was.
He bit his lip, before finally deciding to open up the scroll. It teared at the edge because of the slightly too strong force applied. He kind of wanted to cry.
Immortal Master Shang ,
He let out a small chuckle at the formal address, remembering the way Shen Yuan completely dropped all the formalities the last time he started rambling about some plant named the shimmering maiden lilies.
( Who even came up with this name!? he asked, and Shang Qinghua had to try really hard not to snicker, because this young master was literally standing in front of the person who did, completely unaware of this fact. I’m sure, whoever that person was, they tried really hard.)
An attempt at keeping things formal was a little endearing, and Shang Qinghua quickly skimmed through the letter, interested in learning its contents. In the evening he would read it once more, cherishing and overthinking every single character. For now, however, his priorities were different.
Shen Yuan was incredibly earnest, expressing his desire to invite the Immortal Master for tea. It was adorable. He was adorable, full of energy and a little naive, and it made Shang Qinghua feel a little bad about harboring feelings for this sheltered young man.
It’s just a crush , he reminded himself. It’ll go away ,
***
A few weeks later Shang Qinghua found himself sitting at the table, with Shen Yuan pouring him tea. He smiled, after meeting Shang Qinghua’s glance, and with a graceful twirl of robes he put down the teapot.
He was the prettiest man on earth.
It was not making getting over him any easier .
‘Thank you for accepting my invitation, Immortal Master Shang. And thank you for your flowers. They’re very beautiful.’
Shang Qinghua smiled a little, feeling his heart flutter at the compliment. He then proceeded to scold himself for taking a generic show of courtesy as a deeply personal and flattering gesture.
Stop being such a loser , he scolded himself. He forced a minor, customer-service smile on his lips, and proceeded to answer the statement.
‘There’s no need to be so formal, Shen-gongzi. It’s not often I get to indulge in a non-work-related conversation, so I’m more than happy to be invited.’
… wait. That sounded like he had no friends. Which is not incorrect, but… fuck. Why does he always end up looking like a pathetic loser in these situations?
‘I’m happy to provide entertainment,’ Shen Yuan chuckled. ‘Did you encounter any interesting monsters on your way, Immortal Master Shang?’
Try not to look like a loser for three seconds challenge: failed spectacularly. Great job, master Airplane! Shang Qinghua sometimes (always) regretted not being from a flashier peak. Sure, paperwork was crucial to keeping the sect going, but it wasn’t cool . He didn’t go on night hunts, he didn’t fight demons and save swooning maidens in need. It wasn’t his fault he seemed so uncool!
… it kind of was his fault though. There’s a reason he’s still single and a virgin, and it certainly has nothing to do with his cultivation path.
‘Ahhh… you know. I’m An Ding, so I don’t actually do much of a cool cultivation stuff. It’s mostly paperwork, business meetings, even more paperwork, and praying that Liu Qingge and his brats don’t burn down the entire sect.’
‘Liu Qingge,’ Shen Yuan repeated mindlessly. Shang Qinghua nodded.
‘The Bai Zhan war god. I assumed you’ve heard of him…?’
‘Sure did. It’s just… kind of surprising to meet someone who knows this legend in person. It’s logical, you’re in the same sect after all, but… the Bai Zhan war god! He’s just so! I mean! He doesn’t seem like a real person sometimes, is what I’m trying to say…’ he blushed a little bit through the awkward ramble.
Shang Qinghua felt a little sting in his heart. Of course Shen Yuan would rather talk to Liu Qingge. Everyone would rather be with Liu Qingge than him. He truly was naive for hoping to have a chance.
‘He’s not actually as cool as everyone thinks,’ he murmured, voice turning a little bitter. He flinched as Shen Yuan’s gaze stopped at him. He was sulking just now, wasn’t he? ‘Oh, I’m sorry! I probably shouldn’t be badmouthing my sect siblings. Sorry you had to hear that,’ he chuckled nervously. He literally just advanced from being an old man to being a bitter old man! Fuck his life!
‘I’d love to hear about it,’ Shen Yuan smiled like an angel, and Shang Qinghua wanted to cry tears of gratitude. ‘Tell me about Liu Qingge.’
‘Ahh you see… I can’t deny that he’s skilled, and hard-working, and sure, his fighting technique is immaculate, almost as beautiful as his face, but…’ he sighed heavily. ‘He cannot do math to save his life. His paperwork always arrives late, and requires correction. He doesn’t have half of the required documentation, and the amount of destruction surrounding him is going to bring my sect to bankruptcy. I am so fucking serious right now.’
Shen Yuan started laughing, which caused Shang Qinghua to send him a sharper glance.
‘It’s not funny. If Liu Qingge doesn’t get over his ass, this sect is done. I am done. The downfall of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect is near, and it’ll be caused by one Peak Lord never learning how to open the door without kicking them out of the frame.’
‘It is a little bit funny,’ Shen Yuan offered, without stopping his gentle giggle.
‘... it is a little bit funny,’ Shang Qinghua agreed. ‘I need a raise. I am so serious, everyone looks up to these renowned cultivators, but most of them act like children. There are maybe three Peak Lords, who actually get their job done. I dream about leaving this sect every single day.’
‘Who are the other two?’
And so, Shang Qinghua told him about Mu Qingfang and Shen Jiu, About their subtle comradery in dealing with all this drudgery, and nonsensical requests and behaviors of their sect siblings. He told him about what it’s like to be in charge of a huge sect, about overwhelming responsibilities and the way too frequent mistreatment he experienced. He was a chatterbox, and Shen Yuan was a great listener.
‘Ahhh, it’s already so late…,’ he noticed after a time that felt like nothing. ‘I must’ve bored you to death. So sorry, Shen-gongzi.’
‘Not at all, Immortal Master Shang. Please, visit again soon. There’s not much to be doing here, and I’d love to talk to you more.’
‘I’m the one doing most of the talking,’ Shang Qinghua noticed. Shen Yuan chuckled.
‘Then I’d love to listen to you more. Thank you for your visit.’
***
If Shang Qinghua was a smarter man, he’d have stopped talking to Shen Yuan when he still had the chance. When he still barely knew him, and he could tell himself it was just a momentary infatuation.
It’s been half a year since his little crush began. His feelings for Shen Yuan only grew stronger. It was a little ridiculous at this point. Shang Qinghua didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
They wrote each other letters, met up frequently to shit talk Shang Qinghua’s coworkers and terrible literature. Because, as Shang Qinghua found out, this spoiled, sickly gongzi had a taste for shitty romantic poetry. Not in a sense that he liked it, but in a sense… Let’s just say, Shang Qinghua was glad that Proud Immortal Demon Way was not a thing in this universe. It was exactly the type of book Shen Yuan would destroy .
The most interesting thing is how Shang Qinghua found out about Shen Yuan’s little interest. Because of course it was connected to Shang Qinghua’s sect.
See, Shang Qinghua was doing what he did best - complaining about the sect's lack of funding and Liu Qingge. Since he always talked way more than he should, he spilled a little bit too much information.
‘However! Liu Qingge might be one of the keys leading to solving Cang Qiong’s financial issues. If all goes well, we’ll be rich!’ he exclaimed excitedly. Shen Yuan raised an eyebrow.
‘Is that something Master Shang is willing to share? Or is it a trade secret?’
Shang Qinghua nodded excitedly, before realizing what explanation entailed. He paused for a moment, before taking a deep breath.
‘You see… I’m sure Shen-gongzi is well-versed in literature, but I don’t know how knowledgeable he is about some… less acknowledged… literary work…,’ he tried awkwardly. Shen Yuan clutched his hands on a wooden part of his closed fan.
‘How… less-acknowledged… are we talking about exactly?’ he asked hesitantly. Shang Qinghua looked at him for a moment, wondering whether continuing this conversation is worth taking the risk.
‘Yellow books,’ he breathed out. Shen Yuan snapped open his fan, avoiding Shang Qinghua’s gaze. Fuck . He probably shouldn’t have mentioned it at all.
‘I’m… familiar with a couple positions…’ he acknowledged, cheeks red, eyes avoidant. Shang Qinghua almost sighed in relief.
‘Great! So you see… recently there was a huge increase in… that kind of… literature. About my fellow martial brothers.’
Shen Yuan’s eyes widened. Oh, that innocent boy…’
‘No…’
‘Unfortunately yes. And you see, as a sect there are several things we could do. We could ignore the problem, since it’s merely a work of fiction. Liu Qingge is unaware of the existence of such work, same as most of my martial siblings. The only link that could lead to that type of fiction is through disciples, and I think they’d try to be careful with it,’ Shen Yuan nodded here, so Shang Qinghua continued with his explanation. ‘We could start chasing the culprits. Forbidding such work from existing, chasing, and punishing the authors for defamation of our renowned sect members,’ he rolled his eyes. ‘Or! We could find these authors, and make a deal with them. We give them our permission to post literature of our adult sect members, they give us a part of their earnings. They keep writing, we keep earning, the black market isn’t that black anymore, and everyone is happy. Aside from Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge. But it's not like they’re ever pleased, so…’
Shen Yuan kept quiet for a moment. He then burst out laughing.
‘This is vile,’ he snorted. ‘Only you could come up with that solution to the problem. You’re… that’s an incredible solution. I’ve never heard of something like that!’
Was that… a compliment? It… could’ve been? It also could’ve not? It was a little hard to tell. But Shen Yuan seemed amused enough.
Soon after Shang Qinghua found out about Shen Yuan’s collection of hidden gems. They started exchanging it, reading and talking about it.
They got much more informal after that. They’ve started referring to each other casually. They were, like, best friends at this point!
And Shang Qinghua’s feelings still weighed heavily in his chest. He almost didn’t show up to their scheduled meeting. Almost. It would be unfair towards Shen Yuan. Breaking off their friendship because he was afraid of getting attached.
So he flied to Shen Yuan’s house, chatted up the guard, like he always did, and soon after he was let into the sitting room.
Shen Yuan opened the door and entered like a storm. Shang Qinghua almost mistook him for Shen Qingqiu, his prickly martial brother. He didn’t have much time to think about his weird vibe, as he got hit on the head with a yellow book.
‘Explain,’ Shen Yuan demanded.
Shang Qinghua frowned. Without a word he took the book, and skimmed through it. He was staring at least 15 000 words. Of porn. About him. And someone’s oc. It looked really fucking good actually. He had to bite his lower lip to avoid laughing, as his eyes caught the I’m going to put a baby in you said by this mysterious oc. He really needed to get a copy for himself.
‘Wow…’ he sighed heavily. ‘I’m… shocked.’
Shen Yuan looked at him as if he was stupid. Which, fair enough, he was, but what’s your problem, Shen-xiong!?
‘You’re. Shocked,’ he gritted. ‘I thought you knew about it!?!’
Shen Yuan was scandalized. Shang Qinghua frowned, before his mind started connecting the dots, and…
‘Oh!’ he exclaimed. ‘No. No, I didn’t know about it. There’s a lot of writers, you see, and I have yet to find out about this particular one. Is that their debut novel?’
Shen Yuan blinked a couple of times, eyeing him suspiciously.
‘You’re… okay… with that?’
Shang Qinghua stared at him like a dumb bitch he was.
‘I guess? I mean… it’s not like it’s actually me, you know? Just a fictional version of myself, who is very loosely inspired by me, since it’s based more on the rumors, rather than who I really am. Besides, it’s not like anyone is actually interested in me, so…’
Shen Yuan sat down placing his face in hands.
‘You are…’ he sighed deeply. ‘So fucking insufferable.’
‘I literally didn’t do anything this time? Not my fault people are writing porn about me.’
‘It literally is, though. Since you kind of allowed it to happen.’
Shang Qinghua snorted at that statement.
‘It would be happening even without my permission. I don’t have the power to stop people’s creative minds.’
Shen Yuan sighed.
‘Aren’t you bothered by being depicted with a man? In such an embarrassing state?’
‘I’d be more bothered about being depicted with a woman. Why is it such a big problem now, Shen-xiong? It’s never been before. And we read a lot of porn about people I know.’
Shen Yuan mumbled something under his mouth.
‘I have no idea what you just said,’ Shang Qinghua sighed. ‘Look, I see that you’re upset for some reason. And I don’t know what it is. So I would appreciate it, if you could tell me. I won’t know what bothers you unless you tell me.’
Shen Yuan clenched a hand on his fan.
‘I don’t like the idea of men reading about you like that,’ he finally gritted. Shang Qinghua nodded.
‘Thank you for telling me. I understand that you’re concerned about my well-being, but it truly isn’t going to cause me any actual harm. I’m a cultivator, I can protect myself. Besides, most of the people who read these books are women.’
Shen Yuan glared at him viciously.
‘Your well-being…? You’re so dense sometimes, Shang-xiong.’
Shang Qinghua frowned. Try as he might, he simply couldn’t grasp the hidden meaning behind those words. Shen Yuan almost looked like a jealous gong, after seeing his shou with another man. The thought was a little ridiculous, and Shang Qinghua had to stifle a giggle.
‘What do you mean?’
Shen Yuan screamed into his hands, rendering Shang Qinghua speechless for the first time in his entire life.
‘What I mean,’ he gritted. ‘Is that I’m fucking in love with you, Qinghua.’
The world stopped in front of his eyes. He was pretty sure he must’ve heard wrong.
Shen Yuan? In love with him? That didn’t seem like a realistic scenario.
Except… that’s kind of literally what Shen Yuan said, isn’t it?
‘With me?’ he asked, unsure if he heard correctly. Shen Yuan groaned.
‘Yes! With you, you dumb fuck! I literally just said that!’
Shang Qinghua seriously needed a moment to reboot.
‘Shang-xiong,’ Shen Yuan muttered after a moment of silence. ‘Are you going to leave me some face?’
‘Huh?’
‘People usually give some kind of an answer after receiving a love confession.’
‘Oh!’ he exclaimed. ‘Of course I am also in love with you. I thought it was kind of obvious. Sorry, I needed a moment to process, cause you’re…,’ he straightened his hands, showing off Shen Yuan’s entire figure. ‘And I’m…’ he showed ambiguous gestures towards himself. ‘You know. Nothing special. So I didn’t expect you to even look at me.’
Shen Yuan narrowed his eyes.
‘Actually no. I don’t understand anything that you just said.’
Shang Qinghua sighed.
‘I like you. A lot. Like a lot lot. I think you’re really smart and adorable, and I’m shocked you have bad enough taste to be interested in me.’
‘You’re fucking stupid, aren’t you?’
Shang Qinghua gulped.
‘Yeah, that’s what I like to think.’
Shen Yuan let out an exasperated groan.
‘You’re not. Actually. Stupid,’ he mumbled. ‘What am I even supposed to do with you?’
‘You should start with a kiss,’ Shang Qinghua suggested, a little bit boldly.
Shen Yuan’s eyes narrowed.
‘You’re right, maybe I should.’