Work Text:
Osgood called it the worst day. The day she lost Kate. She lost her months before they broke up. Their relationship died a slow death with both of them digging their nails in, afraid to let go.
Kate had come back covered in blood and horror in her eyes, she wouldn't let Osgood touch her. Wouldn't let the doctors either. Osgood hadn't been jealous when Ibrahim coaxed her into letting the doctors look her over. No, back then she had just been glad that someone could reach her. She hadn't minded when Kate had reached for Ibrahim, holding his hand so tight throughout it all.
They had been through hell together; it made sense they would reach for one another. The jealousy and resentment would come in the dying days of their relationship.
The days when Kate would say “You weren't there. You wouldn't understand, he was. I just feel more comfortable talking about it with Ibrahim that's all,” when Osgood brought up how she was willing to unload to Ibrahim but not her.
She had wanted to get on her knees and beg “Well explain it to me, tell me how bad things got. Tell me everything so I can make it better,” every single time.
Looking back, Osgood often did to pinpoint the moment when their relationship got to the point it couldn't be saved, it’s when Kate hadn't slept for a week because of the nightmares, the ones she wouldn't tell her about and she came home to find Kate curled up against Ibrahim asleep.
There were times when Osgood wished she had walked in on Ibrahim and Kate having sex, it would have been easier to handle. They could have fought about it. She could have been angry about it.
But Ibrahim was trusted to keep the monsters in her dreams away, when it was nothing more than that, Osgood couldn't get angry about it even if she had resented it.
Not that Kate had been willing to listen to that resentment. She'd just sigh “I don't have the energy for this.” Osgood wished back then and now that she had, wished had the will to fight for them.
“She screamed for her dad. She screamed for God. She screamed for the Doctor and for you and none of you came. I think a bit of Kate died inside when you didn't, Ibrahim told Osgood once.
But Osgood, like everyone else, had worked hard to find the pair. She had tried. Osgood drove herself half insane questioning whether she had tried hard enough. Kate offered her no comfort or reassurance that she had.
Ibrahim did. She wanted to hate him. But it was impossible when he was being kind to her.
The day Osgood suggested a break, Kate agreed to it easily. Like it was a sigh of relief that Osgood had pulled the trigger so she didn't have to. When she left Kate home she knew she wouldn't be coming back.
Kate didn't call or text. She was professional at work. That was the worst. The way she could act so normal. Like they had never been anything more than colleagues and friends.