Chapter Text
“Shirou-kun, you need some time off. This isn’t an offer or advice, it’s an order.”
Those words that Mayor Rose said to him yesterday perplexed and infuriated him to no end. He was supposed to be the protector of all beastmen; it wasn’t just a job, it was his lifeblood, his purpose. “Taking time off” was something normal beastmen and humans were supposed to do, not him. He would never let himself slip away to selfish desires so that a beastman out in the world was killed due to his negligence. He reflected on the arguments Rose had given to substantiate her strange order.
“I understand your obligation to protect all beastmen as you always have is very important. However, I can see that the toll of doing so is threatening to put you ‘over the edge’ mentally. While you do not have any chance of developing Nirvasyl Syndrome anymore, a mental breakdown while in Silver Wolf form could still prove disastrous. And unfortunately, as a politician in this globally integrated world, I must keep a being as powerful as you under a tight leash so as to not raise concern from human and beastman leaders alike. Don't think I haven't noticed, Ogami. Your stress has only increased lately, even though there has been less crime in Anima City than than anticipated given the recent start to integration. Although early human integration has been met with some protest, the city has largely seen peace in recent days with the increased sense of community and lack of Nirvasyl Syndrome cases. Things are going well in no small part thanks to your actions. My point is, for once, I think it is best if you take a break from watching over Anima City and tend to yourself. You’ve done so much to help this city, and me, and it’s about time you begin to work through your own issues.”
Shirou did not speak a word through Rose’s monologue. He maintained his stoic demeanor to a tee, which only confirmed to the mayor that he was stubbornly trying to resist her suggestion. She relaxed her shoulders a little and opted to speak to Shirou less formally like they had done when Rose was a child. She smiled.
“In other words, Shirou, I’m ordering you to take a vacation. Not just time to be off; I'll indulge any expense you need at the destination. I think you’ll quite like it, actually. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it’s one of the few places in the world where full beastman-human integration has peacefully and legally occurred, and I think you should know that you played a major role in enabling that to happen.”
The mayor noticed Shirou’s eyebrow raised a bit in reluctant intrigue. He’d tried to protect beastmen to the best of his ability, but he didn’t remember overseeing integration like this. Politics was Rose’s specialty, not his. He struggled to remember where he could have possibly helped beastman-human mixing occur peacefully.
“If you don’t remember what I’m talking about, Shirou, I’ll remind you. It was about 15 years after the War when you had rescued me in Germany; I was campaigning in America for beastman-human desegregation alongside the civil rights movement there at the time. I knew you were resistant to the idea, yet you helped protect the protests and campaigns for integration in both the beastman-human and racial spheres. There was a lot of tension and violence at the time. But because of your protection, the protestors were able to share their voices so change was made. All the while, you managed to hide your beastman form the whole time, even if it reduced your healing factor. It was only after the legislation was signed in DC to outlaw segregation of any kind in the US that you revealed your beastman form; there had been many detractors at the time, but I don’t think you ever realized that the grand majority of people were still supporting you. We had quickly left for Japan soon afterward, so I assume you didn’t have much time to read the news. Luckily, I’m here to tell you what happened. Many US states had outpourings of support for you and the desegregation movement. But the most outspoken among them had been Hawaii, which had previously served as a secret safe haven for beastmen to live and coexist with humans for hundreds of years. They built statues of you, and… me, although let’s be honest, I think you deserved more of the praise than I did. They even integrated your legends into their cultural festivals even though wolves and wolf beastmen were never part of indigenous Hawaiian culture or ecology. Even while other states still struggle with discrimination against beastmen, sometimes systemic, Hawaii is a beacon of hope for beastmen and humans to peacefully coexist. There hasn’t been a violent human-beastman confrontation there on the basis of speciesism in decades. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier how much people really appreciated you during that time.”
Shirou pondered the mayor’s information. Was it true that a place had successfully integrated beastmen with humans? No way. It couldn’t be possible. Any previous attempt at integration that he had stuck around to see had been disastrous, and even the brand-new integration process of Anima City had been rocky at times. But Shirou hadn’t stayed in America to see the results of the legislation, so there was some possible validity to her claim. A lot to think about. Mayor Rose took Shirou’s silence and continued.
“I know you're struggling with your confidence in your actions, or if you’re doing the right thing; it’s been weighing heavily on your mind, I can tell. So I think you should see a place that bears the fruit of your efforts. Maybe it’ll relieve your stress a little.”
Shirou’s face fell slightly at the mention of his lack of confidence in his actions recently. Even nearly a year after the fight with Alan, he’d been grappling with the moment he’d succumbed to Nirvasyl Syndrome and hurt some of the people closest to him. It had made him question everything he’d done over the past thousand years. He was not a fan of being called out in such a way by Barbara, but he knew she wasn’t wrong. Seeing Shirou’s pensive expression, Rose approached him and put a friendly hand on his shoulder.
“I’ve already found an elite team of some of the most capable beastmen to protect the city. We’ve got reliable contacts I can certifiably trust from the Japanese government and United Nations to help keep the city safe as well. Even Nazuna-san volunteered to help if she was needed. We have more than enough to keep Anima City secure and welcoming. That’s not an insult against you, but a testament to how well you’ve helped raise this community of beastmen. Like children growing up, they’ve learned from their guardians to fend for themselves.” She gave a playful wink at Shirou, who couldn’t help but crack an infinitesimally small smile at her confident, comforting aura. “This isn’t abandoning your kin, Shirou; it’s letting them breathe, letting the people of Anima City learn to advocate for themselves in peace. You’ve done an amazing job. You are not being a burden or failure by taking time to take care of yourself. And who knows? Maybe if some danger suddenly shows up in Hawaii, you’ll be able to go back to being ‘Mr. Super-Wolf’ as Michiru calls it.”
Shirou snorted at the mention of Michiru’s comical nickname; at the same time, he focused on internalizing Barbara’s words and processing them. She had made a surprisingly good case for a concept so foreign to him as a “vacation.” However, that ever-so-persistent guilt wouldn't go away without a fight, and he quickly remembered that he was still being fueled by the sacrifice of thousands of beastmen, a debt he could never fully repay. Shirou sat on the chaise lounge near a wall of the mayor’s office to contemplate the idea.
“I’ll leave you to think about the proposal, Shirou-kun. Although it isn’t much of a proposal; I’ve already booked your plane ticket for Friday,” Rose said, returning to a formal tone as she walked toward the door of her office. “Please, though, if you feel like you need to talk to somebody about it, talk to someone. It doesn’t have to be me, although I’d prefer you keep this from the direct public spotlight. I trust you won’t make a scene out of it, though. Publicity was never really your forte.” She smiled at him warmly as she left her office. Shirou stared into his reflection in the spanning glass windows of the office, pondering.
Looking back, she could have been right. He had felt quite stressed lately, whether or not he wanted to admit it, and that could prove more dangerous for his wellbeing—and the wellbeing of other beastmen—than not being there at all. Still, that nagging feeling of guilt pestered him and pushed him from the idea. In his room at the Co-op, Shirou stared at the dark ceiling, waiting for some kind of epiphany that never came.
He noticed the hairs on his skin stand up as the vestiges of an age-old chill ran down his spine. The unexplainable sensation of cold seemed to defy all logic of temperature and environment; instead, it haunted him when he felt isolated and fearful, which he’d learned throughout his thousand-year existence, although he’d never acknowledged it until Michiru pressed him to. He was glad she had pointed it out, as it acted like a sort of signal for when he needed to talk with someone to resolve whatever internal conflict he was struggling with. Tonight the chill was mild, as his dilemma was ultimately relatively small compared to some of the rather worse nights he’d had in the past year or so. In his “human” form, he shuddered a little at the cold and transformed into a wolf. Since the chill came from some strange internal source, it didn’t do all that much to shield him, but it was more comfortable to be in his most natural form when he felt like this.
He walked out into the large family room of the apartment, the rising moon shining a dim white light through the large windows onto the stark black couch in the middle of the room. Michiru was laid out on the couch, munching her way through a bucket of popcorn while anticipating a jumpscare from the horror movie playing on the TV, her body tensed up.
Shirou deviously smiled in the shadows. It might not start the conversation super well, but he couldn’t resist the perfect prank on Michiru. He’d had enough of her dumbass pranks anyways.
He quietly approached the couch from behind, not making the slightest sound. He waited for the perfect moment when the actor on-screen had lowered their guard, the perfect moment for the “murderer” to strike. Seeing Michiru sit up in anticipation, he slowly crept up behind her…
And grabbed her shoulders, shaking her with a smirk lining his fanged face.
Michiru yelped and jumped what Shirou could’ve sworn was as high as 5 meters, the popcorn bucket rolling onto the floor and spilling what little was left in it onto the hardwood. Michiru continued to scream, closing her eyes and holding her arms in front of her to protect herself. But Shirou just smiled, knowing that Michiru wasn’t really that scared.
Michiru slowly opened her eyes and turned behind her to find that Shirou was holding his hand to his face, trying and failing not to snort out a laugh. She reddened in embarrassment and playfully slapped his snout. “Hey, dickwad! What was that for?!”
“You know why, you damned prankster,” he managed while desperately maintaining his stoic facade and not break into laughter at the sight of the tanuki’s utterly hilarious reaction.
Michiru couldn’t help but feel a smile creeping onto her face as well. Seeing Shirou so unusually jovial was refreshing.
After a couple of minutes of their shared laughter, Michiru finally managed to ask, “What’s up, Shirou?”
Shirou’s face turned stoic again but retained a relaxed expression with a slight smile, which made Michiru giddy. The old man finally feels safe opening up to me. Progress!
“I… I talked with the mayor yesterday. She wants me to take some time off. A ‘vacation,’ as you might call it. I don't like it.”
Michiru smirked. This aloof bastard doesn’t even realize it. “You know, Mayor Rose should’ve given me credit where it was due. Hawaii just looks soooo cool!”
Realizing what Michiru was implying, Shirou’s face turned into a slightly playful scowl. “I should’ve known it was you who schemed this. Damn tanuki. Always one to get me distracted from my work…”
“Hey, it’s not a distraction, it’s just a lil’ break! Pinga’s gonna be watching over the city, if that helps. He’s a great guy. All of them are. The Mayor knows what she’s doing.”
“Hmph. I know she does her job well, but I still don’t feel right doing this, Michiru. I… I feel like I'm abandoning my brethren.”
Michiru smiled and beckoned Shirou to sit on the couch with her, to which he obliged. “You know what? That’s a good sign, Shirou. It means you care about specific people now, not just some generic ‘oh, da-da-duh, I gotta save all the beastmen’ thing,” she said with a playful grin. “But caring about other people also means that you need to know when it’s time to let them be a little and learn to take care of yourself.”
Shirou smiled at her attempts at humor but quickly fell back into a solemn mood. “Yes, I understand your point. It’s just… When you’ve been doing this for a thousand years, it’s difficult to casually take a break from your life’s mission. I appreciate your advice, but I have the burden of experience here, and my experience has kept me on the path to saving all beastmen that need saving. Otherwise I might stray to a selfish path.”
Michiru laughed, to Shirou’s confusion, and spoke up. “You’re just proving my point here. You save beastmen when they need saving, right? But the great thing is that right now, the beastmen are learning to help themselves. They won’t always need you to save them. So you really are helping them the best you can by letting them be for a bit to figure it out. Even if you’re immortal, I’m sure you’re eventually going to be needed in another part of the world. Anima City isn’t gonna have you forever, so the best thing to do is let them figure out how to protect themselves. You’ve done amazing leading them. It’s time for them to lead themselves for a little bit. And come on, it’s literally just a couple of weeks! The world’s not gonna end or anything.”
That last sentence made Shirou cringe. The world I cared about most nearly ended in a single day a thousand years ago.
Noticing Shirou’s pained expression, Michiru tried to elaborate. “Uh, sorry, that was a bit of an exaggeration. But I don’t think it’s untrue. Even if something does happen, there’s others out there ready to help. You’ve gotta trust them a little. Mayor Rose trusts them, and you know she has a pretty limited circle of friends, so it must have taken a lot to convince her. You trust the mayor, right?”
“Yes, but still…” Shirou grimaced at the battle between the truth in Michiru’s words and the voice in his head that told him that doing this would be irresponsible and selfish.
Michiru grabbed his shoulder and shook him playfully but endearingly. “And hey, you said you would help all beastmen, right? That includes yourself. In case you forgot, even though you have superpowers and everything, you are still just as much a beastman as anyone, even me. And so you still have feelings, and issues, and fears. I know it sounds a little corny, but you need to take care of yourself to truly take care of all beastmen. And as much as you like to hide it, this past year has been pretty stressful for you, right? What with the fallout of Sylvasta's little scheme?”
Shirou nodded and relaxed his posture a bit. “Yeah…”
“So taking a little time to focus on yourself isn’t abandoning anybody or abandoning your mission. It’s just as important as anything else you’ve done. Is that not true?"
Shirou laughed internally. For someone who’s only 20, she knows a lot more about me than I do sometimes. “Fair point. I guess my health is important to being able to keep protecting beastmen to the best of my ability. A break from the action would be nice.” He sighed as he relaxed on the couch, his shoulder casually bumping up against Michiru’s. This doesn’t exactly feel right. I don’t know if it ever will. But maybe I need to trust her and Barbara a little.
He did still feel a little uneasy about the whole idea, but he had found that the haunting chill from earlier had receded. Maybe she was right after all.
Michiru looked at him with a comforting smile. “Please don’t hesitate to speak up if you want to talk to me about anything, okay, Shirou? I know you have your infinite wisdom, but I want to help however I can whenever you need it.”
Shirou chuckled. “Alright. Same goes for you, tanuki.”
“Now, can I finish my movie in peace?” Michiru joked, kicking away the empty bucket of popcorn.
“Mhm.”
Shirou and Michiru sat together on the couch to indulge in the rest of the horror movie. Weirdly enough, scary movies comforted Michiru more than anything. It distracted her from the things of the past that haunted her and gave her something a little more lighthearted to be scared of than the stuff in her nightmares. She couldn’t be more grateful for Shirou staying with her through some of those past nights; the really bad nightmares had become less and less frequent over the months when he was there, and she hadn’t had one in nearly two weeks. Her gratitude was further emphasized when a particularly frightening scare from the movie made her jump right into Shirou’s awkward yet well-meaning grasp. She settled on holding onto his arm for the rest of the movie, squeezing his arm so tight when the jumpscares happened he was trying not to howl in pain.
A laugh emanated from her mouth when a scare that had barely frightened her made Shirou jump like a cricket and yelp. Her giggles intensified as she noticed Shirou’s face turn into a childlike fearfulness, the wolf holding tightly onto her just as much as she did onto him. For a stoic guy who had seen so much, it was pretty amusing to watch him being nearly terrified by a crazy dude with a knife on TV. Shirou’s fangs grimaced at the realization of Michiru’s reaction to his distress, but she just nudged him with her shoulder and laughed.
“Dude, it’s a horror movie. You’re supposed to be scared. It’s just funny ‘cause I didn’t expect Mr. Super-Wolf to be so spooked by a tiny jumpscare,” she teased.
“Shut up,” he snapped with just enough sarcasm to assure Michiru that he was saying it in jest.
“Mhm.”
After that point, Shirou let go of the stoic act a little and stopped trying to sneakily close his eyes whenever he could feel a scare coming; instead, the two friends held onto each other for dear life while they watched the movie, having a ton of fun in the process. It was nice to be afraid of something simple and mundane instead of mind-boggling nightmares or harrowing isolation, as both of them had grappled with in recent months.
Soon after the movie ended, Shirou and Michiru found themselves too tired to move to any bed in particular (although Shirou had done the courtesy of picking up the popcorn) and ended up snoozing on the couch, their legs laid in an awkward tangle against one another under a thin but comfortable blanket.
Melissa and Gem Horner walked into the apartment to find the two fast asleep. Melissa couldn’t help but chuckle at how much the two had opened up to each other. The Horners tiptoed towards their room, but not before noticing Michiru lightly shivering under the covers. They investigated and found that a window had been left open, letting in the chilly November air into the large living room. Gem quietly closed the window while Melissa grabbed a thicker blanket from the closet and laid it over the wolf and tanuki. A satisfied sigh from the slumbering Shirou and the calm smile creeping onto Michiru’s face were more than enough thanks for their efforts.
Better yet, Michiru had told them about her little plan with Mayor Rose to give Shirou some much-needed time off, and they couldn’t be happier with the destination that she chose for their vacation. Visiting Hawaii even just a month after the incident with Alan and Sylvasta had proved to be a wonderful refresher for the Horners mentally, so they were elated to see how Shirou would be once he came back. They knew convincing him would be tough, but they also knew that Michiru was the best person to convince the old wolf to go. Based on the calm looks on both of the sleeping beastmen’s faces, they had high hopes that it had gone smoothly. The couple smiled as they headed to their room in the Co-op, satisfied that their little tanuki and not-so-little wolf were going to sleep peacefully.