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Random Characters play Family Feud

Summary:

random characters play family feud (they all hate each other or have a rivalry) AND Eminem is the host (Barry Allen is the cameraman)

characters: on the tags

ALSO, WHY IS AUGUSTINE OF HIPPO THE FIRST THING THAT SHOWED UP WHEN I SEARCHED HIM

(hopefully this isn't sacrilege, if any of my fellow Catholics read this fic pls tell me)

Work Text:

"Hi guys, it's Slim Shady. Welcome to... Family Feud Turbo, or something, I don't know." Eminem said casually.

The audience clapped. "And uhh, The Flash is our cameraman. I don't know how he appeared here, but if you see a cut, that isn't a cut, he's just fast. Also, this episode is special because the production team is about to go bankrupt, and because the first survey got a 99/1 ratio, and they kept it at that." Eminem clarified to the audience.

"Uhh, say hi." Eminem told The Flash.

"Hi there." The Flash moved his camera so fast, that it indeed seemed like a cut. He then moved it back to the audience.

"Now, these guys are not related. They hate each other now, or they used to but currently no." Eminem clarified.

"Wait, Kendrick and Drake? AND TUPAC?" Eminem was surprised.

"Okay, nevermind, let's start." Eminem said.

"Okay, what is the most evil thing if used or done wrongly?" Eminem asked the competitors.

"Murder." Mystic Flour Cookie pressed the button calmly.

"Okay, 99 points, on the spot. Hopefully you can get the 1 pointer."

Eminem said.

"You killed my dear Caramel Arrow... And you dare say that?" Dark Cacao Cookie was angry at Mystic Flour Cookie, he was gonna prepare his sword.

"What the sigma?!" Drake shouted.

"What the two children?!" Kendrick mockingly shouted.

"Okay, what happened to Drake... Also, who are these guys with uhh... Glowing circles on their heads?" Eminem asked.

"Proceed then."

"Food." Biggie said.

"Hell, you know a lot about that yeah?" Tupac said.

"A classic." "Zero. If you guys get three X's, it will go to the other team. The Side B team, composing of the edible cracker, Biggie Smalls, Aaron Burr... Drake, and... Saint Jerome? Anyways, they have an X already. Proceed then." Eminem said.

"Money." Aaron Burr pressed the button.

"I bet the BASTARD, ORPHAN, INSOLENT, IMMIGRANT, SON OF A WHORE, AND SCOTSMAN ON THE OTHER SIDE KNOWS A LOT ABOUT IT, YEAH?" He shouted, attacking Alexander Hamilton.

"You're an orphan too." Hamilton refuted him. "Okay... Yeah. So, Two X's now, Side B."

Eminem said.

"Positions in clergy." Saint Jerome answered.

"Really specific, Zero." Eminem said calmly. 

"Told you." Saint Augustine said.

"So, Side A, is Dark Cacao Cookie, K-Dot, Tupac, Hamilton, and Saint Augustine. Yeah, everyone knows him at this point. Proceed then." Eminem said calmly.

"Sex. I was on the survey." Saint Augustine said calmly.

"Wow! It's correct! So, you guys win. You guys now win 100,000, divided by 5, 20,000 each. Dollars, by the way." Eminem said.

"What's a dollar?" Saint Jerome and Saint Augustine said in unison.

"Okay, so-" Aaron Burr got interrupted.

"American currency." Alexander Hamilton said.

"DON'T INTERRUPT ME! I'LL SHOOT YOU AGAIN." Aaron Burr said, pointing his gun at Alexander Hamilton.

"STOP! YOU'RE RUINING THIS BANKRUPT SHOW!" Eminem shouted.

Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr got silenced.

"So, goodbye." Eminem said to the audience.

The audience clapped again.


Off-Screen

"Kendrick, can you do a favor for me?" Mystic Flour Cookie asked him.

"Sure." He responded.

"If you rap about the other guy on the side..." Mystic Flour Cookie said.

"Dark Cacao Cookie? What about him?" Kendrick asked.

"Say he made Caramel Arrow Cookie take backshots. If you're not aware, she serves him." Mystic Flour Cookie said.

"Hell no!" Kendrick shouted.

"I'll revive X." Mystic Flour Cookie said.

"Go to my studio NOW! WE'LL DO IT!" Kendrick shouted.