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“And the world would like to know whether you're taken or not, Kageyama-senshu?”
Tobio switches off the TV before his interview self could shrink back even further in the studio couch, stumped. Questions like these have always left him uncomfortable, eyebrows raising in genuine bewilderment.
One need not be fluent in the language of Kageyama to understand that he was seconds away from shuffling his way out of that interview. He has always thought these questions were unnecessary and time-consuming and, why do people look like they judge him anyway??
He's an athlete for fuck’s sake, the world should be interested in his exercise routine and volleyball commentary instead.
'Ushijima-san never asks me questions like this', he had thought then, sourly, glaring mildly at the interviewer again and longing for his teammate's companionship over this stupid Q&A.
To misunderstand is to assume Kageyama Tobio hates interviews. He doesn’t.
Kuroo-san had mentioned he’d have people (fans) who’d be interested in his life beyond the court, beyond the humane concept of personal boundaries even. This was a bit of a news... and a whole lot of shocker for him. Nowhere during his youth, while wishing to play volleyball forever, had Tobio ever counted on the parasocial stuff he'd have to maintain as a professional.
Regardless, he understands that as an athlete, he has several duties to uphold besides just hitting the ball. For instance, Hoshiumi-san once presumed that using one’s good looks to tempt more people into the sport is the most important contribution an athlete could make for their favourite sports.
According to Schweiden Adler’s outside hitter, “Girls dig your resting bitch face. And your body.” (Tobio stared blankly as Captain Hirugami frantically urged Hoshiumi to continue, deeming it too vague and inappropriate) “Your err…. diligent personality too”, he had added when there had been loud cheers from the audience after a match against the MSBY Black Jackals.
(“His body? That sounds nasty, ya could jus' say his height kourai-kun”, Atsumu had scrunched his nose from the other side of the net, which, as Tobio had expected, started Hoshiumi's tirade on small players and their regal attractiveness and I CAN JUMP OVER YOUR STUPID HEAD AND ROUNDHOUSE KICK YOU MIYA–)
Tobio believed him unquestioningly. He doesn't get the logic behind it, not at all. Nor is his pretty brain all that inclined to explore it.
But what little he can grasp from this small quandary is that people need a designated meoweows in their life, and if he can fill that void in return for their absolute favour for volleyball? Then so be it.
Hinata had scoffed at that and called him stupid, but Tobio had scoffed right back and called him a dumbass because 'you must be jealous I'm the face of volleyball in Japan, huh?'
Hinata had only rolled his eyes at him, and very loudly, proclaimed a challenge that he could obviously beat Tobio for that title. Tobio's eyes flashed in excitement as he accepted the dare, silently cheering that he has more followers on his official accounts than the dumb idiot anyway.
('I'm already winning', his smirk seems to have conveyed that to Hinata, because Hinata mirrors his smirk right back at him. Tobio's stomach swooped low as always whenever the redhead looked at him with fire ablaze in his eyes. But nevermind the minor details when Tobio's got a streak to maintain).
Unfortunately, Kageyama Tobio was (in Tsukishima's words) nothing less than a caveman of a specimen, whose entire goal in life was to just exist for volleyball.
So as expected, his Instagram and Twitter had been… deader than Adlers Captain Hirugami Fukuro's entire personality. His last Instagram post had been about a stray cat he had found in an alley.
However this, according to Hinata, is far better than his lame-ass, "Hello [waving hand emoji]" on Twitter.
That had roughly been 6 months ago.
Well, Tobio’s fans still suck it up.
Tobio’s PR team doesn't.
So earlier when he had picked up a call from his manager, who was on the verge of pulling out his hair, exasperatedly insisting for Tobio to update his social media accounts, somehow Tobio was tasked with a new “homework”.
He also didn't want to lose his current manager. He was a lot more tolerable than his previous one. (He lets Tobio have a say in his sponsorship deals, okay?!!!)
That being said, it's off season currently and Tobio has nothing much to do except laze around and watch animal documentaries in the living room of his home in Miyagi. Miwa yells at him to help around the house (he does!!), Iwaizumi-san calls him once in a while to remind him to stick to his diet (he does!!!) and stay fit (he is!!!).
So Tobio is doing alright. Fine, even.
Except for his current dilemma.
Tobio groaned out an exasperated sigh as he leaned backwards on the couch, long legs hanging awkwardly off the armrest. If Miwa would see him like this, he’d probably get whacked on the head thrice (speaking from experience) and have his access to Miwa’s special dinner denied, but that is still far from being his main concern.
Right now, he has some brainstorming to do.
Resurrect his social media.
He thinks another cat picture is ideal to post, he has tons of those in his gallery anyway. Maybe a photo of a flower? hmmm.
There's an inspirational book on the table along with a fruit basket and a decorative vase. Tobio’s seen enough aesthetic montages on Miwa’s Instagram to know that if he posted a picture of it, his fans would eat it up like ants scampering around for scraps of food.
But alas, he'll most likely get called out by his treacherous friends, colleagues and especially Hinata… so he discards that idea immediately.
After fiddling with his fingers, he opens his gallery with determination, making up his mind that he's only moving off the couch once his mission is accomplished.
There was a scarcity of pictures in his phone (not surprising at all) so he spends an hour going through whatever garbage dump he has collected through the years. There's a bunch of cats (as predicted), some of Ushiwaka's baby plants (Tobio mentally reminds himself to get a few succulents from him), a few of his teammates and friends from Karasuno—
There's one that catches his eyes immediately.
It's Hinata.
Tobio snorts so loud he chokes on his spit.
He remembered taking that photo when Hinata was throwing a tantrum at him right after he posted a picture of himself shirtless (thanks Hoshiumi-san) on social media.
His tirade had started with “why would you willingly let yourself be objectified like that by strangers on the internet?!”, and Tobio had only lorded it over him because, “he can, and yes he just did”, even if he had no idea what the problem was.This had prompted the shorter man to screech at him.
Screech.
Apparently, it was “so unfair, Yama” and “how dare you,” and some more guttural noises that Tobio thought were a bit concerning.
Anyway.
It's a hilarious picture which Tobio took in the heat of the moment, which he had then proceeded to laugh at in front of Hinata, which is the sole reason he was currently snickering like an absolute idiot on the sofa, kicking his feet in the air and holding onto his stomach for dear life.
And suddenly, at once, all hell broke loose as Tobio accidentally presses send on his phone. A quick refresh of his Twitter page and Tobio knew he fucked up. Big time.
Well fuck.
Tobio can hardly say it was his fault at the time. It was definitely, entirely the idiots' fault.
He flounders for a bit (WHERE THE FUCK IS THE DELETE OPTION) and fumbles on his couch, sweating profusely as he watches his tweet gain interaction with each passing second (curse his popularity and his large followers) until his nice and patient manager calls him to ask, nicely, what the fuck is he doing. He then patiently guides Tobio how to delete a Twitter post.
But the damage has already been done.
It’s been hours since the incident. Tobio had sighed in relief because he had done everything he could do to fix the damage and, whatever comes next is out of his control anyway, so now, now, he was confused, and a little annoyed, as to why a rabid Hinata Shouyou was banging on his door at ass o'clock in the morning, screeching his name like a frog high on cocaine.
“YOU TURNED ME INTO A MEME!”
Okay so Tobio had seen this coming from miles away, but his defence mechanism works on autopilot, and his tone comes out much more harshly than he intends.
"I can't believe you came all the way here at one in the morning just to yell at me, dumbass."
“Let me in! I’m gonna strangle you!”
"If you can reach me, then sure," Tobio sneers..
“Kageyama, I’m going to fuck you up—”
“Go away, Hinata!”
“Shut up! Both of you! Oh my fucking God,” Miwa yells from her room loud enough for the entire neighbourhood to hear.
Silence.
Tobio curses internally, aware of how much trouble he's in now that Miwa’s involved. Angry Miwa means no breakfast in the morning and he'll be tasked to do all the chores around the house.
So Tobio swallows his pride and shuffles across the genkan, standing directly in front of the door dividing him and his rival. He dares not to open it though, fearing that Rabid Hinata would jump at him and claw his face right out.
Instead, like the awkward duckling he is, he hovers.
It's not that Tobio can't take him on in a fight. He knows he'll fare well even though Hinata's beefed up quite proportionally. And he has a perfect definition of muscles that Tobio thinks would be nice to touch and squeeze.
It's just the stupid guilt for their current predicament weighing him down and he’s not sure if he's quite ready to face him yet.
So the apology comes first. He's the bigger man here after all, literally.
"...I'm sorry", he mumbles out, fiddling with his hand.
More silence. Tobio scrunches his eyebrows in anticipation and wonders if his apology went unheard….
"Open the door, Kageyama-kun."
Tobio narrows his eyes. Hinata's voice is sweet, perhaps a bit too sugary than his usual pitch. Multiple alarms start blaring in his head all at once, loud and urgent.
His frown disappears and he grits his teeth in annoyance.
"I said I'm sorry, okay? Don't make me repeat myself, idiot. That picture isn't even that bad and it's not like people are making fun of you." Tobio says hotly, crossing his arms. He glares hard at the door for extra effect.
"You turned me into a meme." Hinata repeats, an edge in his voice that tugs at Tobio’s guilty conscience.
".....I have no idea what you're talking about."
"LIAR!"
"Okay fine but err, like I said it's not bad," Tobio flounders before heading on with no concrete thought. "In fact, I made you go viral. You should be thanking me.”
Tobio nods to himself, quite proud of his response. Because when he looks at the bright side of the things (quite literally turning a blind eye to the worst), he really only sees the best outcome from this turn of events.
“I probably got you new followers too. I think.” He continues nonchalantly, because now, for all intents and purposes, he’s sure he's done something good for Hinata.
There's a stretch of silence again and then Hinata speaks up, his voice uncharacteristically robotic, like he's reading a catalogue.
"When you take three hours to dress up for your date but you end up stepping on some dog shit," Hinata reads something off of his phone that Tobio distinctly remembers seeing on Twitter right after his little incident. "Cue my cursed image. It's a meme now. Eighty thousand likes, Kageyama. Eighty thousand likes".
A cat meows somewhere. A dog barks in return. It's the dead of the night and neither of them have any sense of decorum to take this inside and sort it out like actual adults. Not that you readers aren't already aware of that.
"I…'', Tobio bit his lips, barely stopping himself from snickering like a hyena because okay, okay, that post was highkey hilarious in his opinion, and no one's the wiser that he might have contributed to that 80k likes himself.
“And I saw your like, you shithead.”
Oh. Well.
“It was… very relatable.” Tobio lies through his teeth, glaring at his right wall instead. His mouth is already betraying him, forming a sour pout.
“And. And, hold up there's more,” Shoyo continues. His voice comes out a little ragged and Tobio pictures him pacing in front of his door, hand dragging through his birdnest orange locks.
“There's like, tons of memes like these Kageyama. I've seen dozens in like, five minutes. And, and…”, Tobio presses against the door to hear Hinata better. “And they're all so funny, okay?”
Huh?
“They're super hilarious. I had tears running down my face, Kageyama.”
What.
Hinata’s still pacing in his porch, his footsteps ringing louder than his own mumbling.
“I love the memes Kageyama, I really do. I just…” Hinata stops suddenly and mumbles something incoherent, so softly, so meekly, Tobio almost breaks down the door to hear him properly.
“Huh?” Tobio mumbles back, seemingly unaware of his own response.
“I look so ugly...”
What.
In the stretch of a minute or two, Hinata doesn't elaborate and Tobio doesn't breathe.
Both are matters of high concern.
Tobio backs away and stares right through the door at Hinata. His voice had dulled at the end, like he was embarrassed but committed to not run away. The lack of confidence oozing off of him through the wall felt wrong.
I look so ugly.
That's what the idiot's worried about??!
Tobio rolls his eyes.
"You don't." He says. The conviction in his voice is so strong, it surprises even him. But if there's one thing Tobio has always been a hundred percent convinced of, it's volleyball and Hinata. Two things so synonymous in his head, it's practically one and the same.
"I mean, no one's making fun of your looks…? They're just harmless memes.” He scratches the back of his neck, a bit of shyness seeping in. “I got turned into a meme once too, dumbass."
He recalls an image of him smiling from an interview ("atrociously.” Hinata had added) circulating around the internet.
"IT'S NOT THE SAME", Hinata despairs from the other side, voice pitching higher in anguished desperation. “It's just not the same.”
“What the fuck do you mean by that, moron?”
“...”
“Oi. What the fuck.” Tobio bangs once when no reply comes through. It's like the idiot has dropped dead on the other side, which… would be bad for him because Tobio is not taking care of a dead body in the middle of the night while risking more of Miwa’s oncoming wrath.
“Hinata?”
There's a squeak from the other side, some grumbling, before a loud cough comes through. It almost sounds like a dying fish to Tobio but he's not one to judge. He was literally choking on air a few hours ago.
“What's not the same?” He decides to prompt instead.
“... Our situations.” A reluctant reply, Tobio notes.
“Probably.” He purses his mouth instead. A sigh. And then,
“I’m sorry, you're right. It's not the same. I uploaded the photo. I started this. Accidentally but… still not fair and–”
“NO.”
Tobio pauses. No? “No?”
“No. No, that's not it. It's just–”
With bated breath, the setter awaits.
"You still looked goo–okay–ish… You didn't look half as bad as I do here. You looked…."
"What?"
Hinata mumbles something incoherent, Tobio could hear him shuffling on the other side.
"Hinata, I can't hear you. Speak up."
"....I said you looked cute."
Cute.
There's another pause and then, whatever air Tobio had inhaled prior to that whoosed out of his lungs in one single exhale. He felt the swooping of his stomach coupled with goosebumps rising along his arms and he could only handle so many feelings at once. So he banged his head against the door. Hard. The pain felt nothing over the high drum of blood ringing in his ear.
"K-Kageyama…?" Hinata speaks up, uncertain, like he wasn't sure if he should be worried about the loud thud or not. Kageyama could be punching the door in frustration or worse yet, he PASSED OUT !
"I'm okay." He calls out but the probability of him passing out is much higher if the blood rushing to his face is any indication. He calms himself down (one… two… three …) before speaking, "Why."
"Why what?" Tobio could hear the pout on his rival's voice.
"What is wrong with you?"
"Huhhh?!"
"You can't say stuff like that out of nowhere, idiot."
"It's the truth though." Hinata argues.
"You called my smile atrocious." Tobio points out, still blushing profusely.
"I-I did but I didn't think you would take my comment seriously-–"
"I didn't—"
"You never have before."
"That's not the point, dumbass." Tobio inwardly groans. They were getting nowhere!
"And besides," Hinata goes on, laughing nervously. "You know I joke around a lot.”
Tobio pauses.
"...So you were joking when you called me cute too?" He implores, only slightly joking himself, his heartbeat still drumming out a pop beat.
As expected, Hinata rises to the bait but his voice is frantic with desperation. "NO! NO ABSOLUTELY NOT! I 100% MEAN THAT TOBIO YOU BETTER NOT— wait…WAIT WOAHH—"
"Shut up, Shouyou."
"WHAT WAS THAT TONE?"
"God Hina–"
"ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH ME RIGHT NOW?!"
"...."
"Oh. Ohmygod, Kageyama-kun? Hold the fuck up you sounded awfully fond there. I wanna see your face, like right now. CAN YOU OPEN UP PLE–"
"GOOD NIGHT HINATA."
"WAIT–"
There's a loud exhale from the other side of the door, exhausted. Soon after, a thud vibrates through Tobio where he's still leaning his head against the door, signalling that Hinata's mirroring him on the other side.
"Can I….” Hinata speaks up, voice suddenly low and rough with emotions that spoke louder and much clearer to Tobio than anything Hinata has spoken so far. A pause. A sigh. “Kageyama… I want to hold your hand and kiss you. So, can you please open the door?”
Tobio swallows down the paper roughness of his tongue. Hinata’s voice is doing things to him that his poor heart and soul are too amatuer to comprehend. The yearning tugs at him, beckoning him closer to the edge, urging him to take that momentous leap of faith.
He opens his mouth, subconsciously realising Hinata must be waiting for him to speak, and, "That's the shittiest way of asking someone out on a date, stupid Hinata." Is what he ends up saying.
Tobio starts suddenly when Hinata laughs out heartily on the other side. He imagines the spiker, throwing his head back in absolute joy, so full of vigour and colour. In the deafness that surrounds them, to Tobio, it sounded like magic blooming and sparkles shining and flowers dancing in a field sowed by the two of them. He imagines the sun incarnate, glowing in the halo of brightness even in complete darkness.
It still echoes inside his head, like the ringing of the heaven bells, when Hinata’s ahem brings him back to Earth. He coughs once, twice, knocks on the door softly, and says—
"Open the door, Kageyama-kun."
Tobio opens the door.
Hinata stands on the other side, smiling so softly and so genuinely, something inside Tobio breaks from just looking. His eyes are bright and searching lovingly for him. So he opens the door wide, steps back and allows Hinata to walk right up to his personal space.
There's none of that rabidness from earlier (Thank whoever deity that was looking after their dumb asses, Tobio can only picture the crazed look of murder on Hinata's face) but now as he gazes down at him, he sees a light blush adorning the shorter mans tanned, well defined cheekbones.
Tobio is in the midst of subconsciously counting the freckles on Hinata's cheeks when Hinata speaks up again, "I want to take you out on a date before the next season officially starts."
His breath hits Tobio square in the face and only then does he realise how close they're standing. They have been like this before, several times during the course of their partnership/rivalry through the years and never before has Tobio struggled to breathe as he does now.
"Will you go out with me?"
Time stops for both of them, bated breaths and sweaty foreheads, until Tobio says, "Fine. But only if you promise you won't post any ugly pictures of me as a payback for yesterday."
"Geez Kageyama-kun. At least sound excited for my sake."
"I spend my days with you anyway when we're both in Japan. We're practically dating. What's gonna change?" Tobio grumbles whatever nonsense his brain comes up with to distract himself from blushing. He thinks he's going to faint. He's never blushed so much in one night, or in his entire life.
Hinata punches him hard on his stomach and Tobio automatically grips his hair in return.
"I can't hold your hand and kiss you without you charging me for assault, asshole." Hinata says but there's a laugh in his tone and a spark in his eyes that tells him that Hinata would do those things regardless and knows that Kageyama would never charge him for anything. Tobio thinks he should charge him for giving him mini heart attacks and weird butterflies in his stomach.
"I should charge you for punching me in my own damn house." He mutters instead.
He expected a petty comeback, or even another assault to his poor being. But suddenly, he feels a pair of lips on his own, warm but chapped, and Tobio feels like the very embodiment of their names combined, flying high in the sky, so untouchable, so unreachable, so invincible.
He had never thought about kissing anyone. His priority has always been hyper focused on building his professional career ever since he started walking. But he's not one to lie and say he hasn't ever wondered about Hinata’s lips, dreamed about the pillow-y quality of their plumpness and imagined them sweeter than any nectar the world has to offer.
Never in his wildest dreams had Tobio thought he'd be finding it confirmed true by feeling it along his own lips and…. okay, maybe the idea of kissing is rapidly climbing up on his lists of priorities as we speak.
Hinata aligns his head a little to deepen the kiss but Tobio feels a sudden buzz of vibration. Belatedly, he realises it's Hinata's phone trapped between his right cheek and Hinata's left hand where he cups Tobio's face.
They look down together at the text message Hinata receives from Tsukishima. It's an image, followed by an audio message that automatically plays Tsukki's annoying laughter on the other end.
Meme of the Day @memeseveryday
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
"Okay, now it's just not funny when Stingyshima’s involved." Hinata mutters and Tobio finally lets out the hyena cackle he's been holding inside, choking on his spit for the second time in the last twenty-four hours.
In the morning, Kageyama Tobio's Instagram and Twitter profile is updated after seven months of hiatus (though Twitter has seen its daily share of drama) with a single image of Hinata Shouyou sleeping soundly in Tobio's bed drooling like an ugly raccoon.
Later, the rabid Hinata would probably make a comeback to claw his ("pretty" Hinata had called him amidst their makeout session) face. But right now, as he watches his post rapidly gains interaction, likes and comments chiming in over the various text messages and calls he's receiving from their friends and families, teammates and managers, Tobio doesn't care.
Hinata's phone is also ringing from somewhere between the pillows. Outside his room, he hears Miwa gasp and knows there will be questions later. So he mutes his phone's notifications, lets his head hit the pillows again and blocks out Hinata's loud snores.
He can't wait to see what sort of posts the internet will come up with for the new memefied picture of his boyfriend.