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Groaning, Sokka opened his eyes and saw... Well nothing.
Just darkness, total darkness.
That's weird, was there something in his eyes? Blinking he tried to clear his vision, but nothing happened. It just stayed pitch black dark.
What...? What was happening? Did he suddenly go blind? No, no that couldn't be it, that made no sense. Why would he be blind all of a sudden? That would completely suck (no offense to Toph, but he didn't have magic earthbending to help him see).
Anyway, seeing things was not an option at the moment, as his vision wasn't getting any better the longer he was conscious. He could feel himself start panicking, because what caused this? What had happened? Where was he?
Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself. Panicking would get him nowhere, he knew that. He should focus on the senses that he still had, when seeing obviously wasn't helping him.
What did he hear? Focusing, he could hear himself breath, still in short panicked breaths (but could you blame him? This was kind of a stressful situation and he was totally justified in panicking), but other than that... nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Okay, so hearing was also kind of a bust, although it was a relief that he still could hear his own breaths. So what did he feel? Moving his hands around he quickly reached something that seemed like walls, wooden walls to be exact. At both sides. Now that he focused on it, it seemed like he was lying on his back on some sort of wooden plank. A wooden plank that seemed to be almost precisely his length, because he could feel a similar wooden plank touch his head and his feet. And moving his hands upwards didn't help much, because they quickly touched a similar plank above him. It was almost like he was in some kind of box....
A box, shit, a completely dark, silent box that was exactly his size. He wouldn't classify himself as being claustrophobic, but this was bad, very bad. He had to get out of here. Maybe there was someone around wherever this box was being kept? He had to try and see if someone heard him, right?
"Hello?! Is there anyone out there?!"
There was no response, but his voice also sounded kind of strange, like it couldn't really travel far enough, at least not outside of this box. Which was strange, because Sokka had learned a lot about how sound travelled for the various inventions he tried to make in the last couple of years (not that he had much time for it in between all the jobs that came with being married to the Firelord, but it was a fun hobby to him to help him unwind). But that also meant that he knew his voice shouldn't sound like this, like it was somehow stuck in this box with him. At least, it shouldn't if his voice actually could travel through the wood. Which meant that it couldn't.
Fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuckfuck. Oh Tui and La this was bad, this was very bad. His situation wasn't good to begin with, but this meant that either sound couldn't escape the box he was in (and thus that it was probably airtight) or that the medium outside the box wasn't air. Either way he was trapped in a box with now a limited amount of air. If he didn't get out of here fast, he would suffocate here, he would die here.
His panic was back in full swing now. He couldn't die here, he couldn't. It would mean he wouldn't get to see his family, his friends again. He would never get to see Izumi again. He never would get to see Zuko again.
No, no. Nope, that was not happening. He was the plan guy, he would make a plan and get out of here. He had to.
Panicked, he started to slam into the wood with his legs. Maybe he could get it to break? Unfortunately, it didn't seem to want to break. Which meant he was probably buried in the earth. Buried alive.
Who would have put him here anyway? It seemed stupid that so far he hadn't even thought about how he ended up in here. What was the last thing he remembered? Now that he was focusing on thinking his headache came back with a vengeance. They had probably knocked him out with something.
But who was the they in that sentence? Come on Sokka, think. What was he doing before he ended up here? Why was he only thinking about this now?
If Zuko was here was would probably scold him for being too hard on himself. He could almost hear him say it in that lovely exasperated tone of his. "Come on Sokka, don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing the best you can," he would probably say while engulfing him in a hug.
The thought brought tears to his eyes. He couldn't imagine not seeing him again, never hearing him again. Never hugging Zuko again, never feeling the comfort of being in his company again.
Would this morning really be the last time Zuko had kissed him awake? It was a routine for them by now. Zuko would always rise with the sun, but Sokka never seemed to be able to be up that early. So Zuko would rise to do his normal meditation and afterwards would crawl back into bed, kissing Sokka awake so that they still had some cuddle time in the morning and some time to talk before their busy day begun.
Their bed was a sanctuary like that, especially in the mornings. They would talk about all the worries they had, lately most had to do with Izumi because she just started school which was a big scary new step, and bring each other as much comfort as they could. Sometimes they would just lay there in silence, being content with just being together. Sometimes they would kiss, which would turn into a make out session which often turned into sex. But it was also always just a moment with only the two of them. A moment to be just Sokka and Zuko, without the expectations everyone else had for them.
But now that could be over. This could be his last couple of hours of not being in the spirit world (because yes, he could calculate how big the box was in his head. There couldn't be more than a couple of hours of air left, especially if he counted in how long he was probably unconscious for). Why would he think about who had done this to him? It didn't matter much if he never got out of here. He would much rather focus on happy thoughts if these would be his last.
He didn't want his last thoughts to be of some stupid kidnappers turned killers. He wanted his last thoughts to be about his family and friends. Thoughts of Zuko and Izumi and how lucky he was to have had them in his life, even if he would never get to see his daughter grow up, never get to see the milestones that were still coming.
He started to cry in earnest now. Zuko would have to do it all by himself now, and he knew his husband enough to know it would devastate him. He could only hope that he would allow their friends to help. But knowing Zuko he would just carry on by himself. Bury himself with work so that he didn't have to look too closely at his emotions, the idiot (his lovely beautiful idiot that he would never get to see again).
He would try for Izumi, Zuko was a great father and Sokka knew that that wouldn't change, but he would close himself off to everyone else like he normally did. Only Sokka got to see the emotional vulnerable side of Zuko, and Sokka wouldn't be around anymore.
"I'm so sorry, love." He whispered into the darkness. "I'm so sorry."
-x-
Turns out, laying in the dark waiting for your death was quite boring. He tried to amuse himself by looking back at the best memories of his life. He remembered his first date with Zuko, how nervous they both had been. He remembered absolutely panicking about what to wear (to the amusement of Suki who was helping him get ready), how he was certain he was going to mess it up. But all those nerves had gone away the moment he saw Zuko.
After that it was easy. Well, as easy as any relationship was. Sure, they had a fight once in a while. Emotions were never easy for Zuko and Sokka wore his on his sleeve. Sometimes that would lead to frustrations, from both sides, but they always talked it out. They were a team, they just clicked together like they were always meant to be together.
Their friends had teased them a lot. He was somewhat sorry that he had called Katara and Aang "oogie" a lot, because his sister grabbed the opportunity to dish it right back to him when she felt him and Zuko were being mushy in front of her (which was admittedly a lot, but who could blame him?).
He remembered the day he knew he wanted to marry Zuko. They were all gathered together on Ember Island for a much needed holiday. It was late in the evening, the light of the setting sun casting the beach in beautiful warm colours. Zuko and Aang were playing around on the beach, sparring like they were kids again and not two of the most important people in the world.
He remembered looking at his boyfriend, who was laughing with Aang, smiling so widely that all the stress of being the Firelord seemed to melt away form him. The golden light made his eyes light up and his skin shine. He was looking absolutely breathtaking and Sokka knew in that moment that he would never let him go.
Toph had promptly a boulder at him ("it was a pebble Sokka, don't act like a baby") because in her words "his heart was doing somersaults and I can only imagine the absolutely besotted look on your face" and Katara had looked at him knowingly. He didn't mind as much though, the moment had a special place in his heart.
He had started to carve a betrothal necklace soon after that. His father had been overjoyed to help him get all the materials and it was surprisingly easy to find time alone to carve it (his husband had always been a stupid workaholic after all, as much as Sokka tried to get him into bed on time in the evenings).
Actually proposing came much later. He wanted the proposal to be a surprise, but not the act of proposing itself. They needed to be both ready for this, and talk about what marriage would mean for them before he would actually do it. He would be marrying the Firelord after all, not just Zuko, in the eyes of the rest of the world and that brought his own problems with it. They needed to have a clear plan, they needed to be on one line on what would marriage mean to them.
He had a lot of ideas and plans for proposing at the time, but ultimately he had settled on proposing while they were having a picnic in the Palace garden's. That wasn't even the idea he had beforehand, but Zuko had looked so cute while cuddling and talking to a turtleduck that he couldn't wait a second longer. All his immaculate plans for some big special romantic moment flew out of the window.
Zuko's face when he had looked at him and saw the betrothal necklace had been priceless and it would stay with him for a long time (or well, not so long now was it?). Zuko had worn it since that day, and seeing it on his husband's neck everyday always made him smile.
Their wedding had been beautiful, special even. But the whole political spectacle that came with it put a small damper on the day (he and Katara often had conversations together how being married to important people kind of sucked sometimes, at least the attention that came with it). What he mostly remembered was Zuko looking at him with so much love in his eyes when he called Sokka his husband for the first time.
When thinking about his happiest memories adopting Izumi was the one that was almost at the top. Raising her together with Zuko was a delight and seeing her grow and explore the world together with them was one of the best things he ever experienced. She was growing into quite a character.
Thinking of her brought back the pit in his stomach. She was growing up and he wouldn't get to see more of it. He would miss her so much.
He remembered the first time they went as a family to the Southern Water Tribe. He had took her penguin sledding and the peals if laughter coming from her had never been louder. It had made him smile so much his cheeks had hurt for the rest of the time there.
His father had spoiled here rotten. Treats, presents you name it. He and Zuko had tried to put a bit of a stop to it, but they also both recognised Hakoda didn't get to see Izumi as much so it was nice to see them together like that.
He sighed, he wished he had pushed a bit more for them to visit the Southern Water Tribe more often. They went as often as they could, he knew that, but being there made it so much easier to share his own culture with her. It was very important to him that Izumi grew up with as much Water Tribe culture as he could get away with and Zuko encouraged him to do so, even if it gave the Fire Sages a heart attack to see the heir of the Fire Nation in Water Tribe clothes (old stupid bastards, Izumi was as much Water Tribe as she was Fire Nation, at least to them, and she deserved to grow up with that part of her family as well).
Hopefully Zuko would take her South as much as he could, even if visiting would probably be painful after he was gone.
Was breathing getting painful or was he just imagining it? No, no it was definitely getting very hard to breath. He started to see black spots in his eyes and he for sure felt very faint.
He started to panic again. No, no, no he didn't want to die. Please, Tui, La, anyone, maybe Yue even. Whoever could be listening or watching over him, even if he didn't find comfort in the spirits normally, please he doesn't want to die. Even if he was waiting for it for a while know, he still had a faint hope that someone would come and get him out of here.
But his time was up, he could feel it. For the last time in what would be has life he imagined the face of his husband, to give him the final bit of comfort he could get in this situation. His beautiful golden eyes that always held so much emotion, the eyes he could read like a book. He would never get to see them again.
He closed his eyes, to faint and tired to keep the open any longer. "I love you," he told the empty space around him. "I love you so much, I'm sorry that I couldn't hold on any longer."
With his last conscious thought, he could almost imagine Zuko answering him.
"Sokka! SOKKA!! No no no, don't you dare close your eyes. Sweetheart, please! I love you! I love you, you hear me! Don't you dare leave me!"
He almost smiled at that, but his body didn't seem to want to react. His subconscious couldn't have done a better job at imitating that panicked rambling way of speaking his husband got in stressful situations. I love you too, he thought. And then he thought nothing.
-x-
Sokka could feel his awareness slowly returning to him. Was he dead? Was he in the spirit world now? If he was, why did it feel so hard to wake up fully?
"Has there been any change?"
Wait, that sounded like Aang. Even if that morose tone didn't fit the usually happy positive airbender at all.
There was a sigh.
"No, not so far."
Oh, that was definitely Zuko. His husband sounded tired, exhausted even. Like even talking cost him too much energy.
"I've sent Katara away to sleep, she was exhausted even if she didn't want to leave."
Another sigh
"Aang, what if I really lost him? What if we really were too late? He hasn't woken up for days now. I'm trying to stay positive for Izumi, but it's getting really hard. I know the healers told us it would take a while, if he even would wake up at all, but I'm starting to lose hope here."
His voice sounded raspier than usual, like he had been crying so much some of the tears were permanently stuck in his throat.
"Oh Zuko," Aang sighed, "you can't lose hope now. He will wake up, you know he will. Sokka is much too stubborn to just not wake up it all."
There was some shuffling, like Aang moved closer to Zuko.
"Remember we are all here for you, for both you and Izumi."
"I know, I know, it's just -"
But whatever his husband was saying Sokka didn't catch. He was starting to feel faint again and before he knew it his awareness slipped away again.
-x-
The next time his awareness came back to him he felt much more awake. Instead of laying in that stupid box he could feel a soft surface under his back. Was he in a bed?
Now that he was focusing on his body he could feel that his hand was grasped in someone else's. The hand was squeezing his tightly, like the person that was doing it couldn't imagine letting go of him. He tried to squeeze back. It was kind of nice, having someone hold his hand like that.
"S-Sokka?" There was a disbelieving gasp of his name. "Sokka can you hear me?"
Zuko! That was Zuko! He tried to squeeze the hand holding his again.
"Agni, Sokka! Yes, that's it sweetheart. Can you squeeze my hand again?"
Zuko sounded like he was relieved, even if his voice sounded extremely raspy.
He squeezed again. He tried to open his eyes, but the sliver of light that came true actually hurt his head. He groaned. The hand holding his gripped tightly back. It felt like a lifeline.
"Sokka? You're actually there, aren't you? You can hear me right? Agni, Sokka, I love you so much, so so much. Please try to open your eyes again sweetheart. I know you can do it."
Well if his husband believed in him who was he to say no? He tried again. This time the light didn't hurt as much, so he tried to open his eyes more. The sight greeting him actually took his breath away.
It was the most beautiful thing he ever saw in his life. Zuko was sitting next to his bed, looking at him with so much joyous disbelief and love in his eyes that it almost hurt to look at him. Curled up in his lap was their six year old daughter, clutching her stuffed turtleduck tightly while deeply asleep. His heart hurt at the sight. He had thought he would never see it again.
"... Hey." It hurt to talk, but he had to say something to Zuko, even if it was just a simple 'hey'. He couldn't take away his eyes from the sight in front of him. He could see that there were tears gathering in Zuko's eyes, but the smile on his face only seemed to grow.
"Hey yourself sweetheart," he whispered back, as to not wake their daughter. "How are you feeling? Do you need me to get a healer?"
"No, no I... I feel fine." He still struggled to talk, it felt like there was something blocking the air from leaving his lungs. He also never felt better, he would take all the pain in the world if he could stay here in watch Zuko and Izumi, the two most important people in the world.
Zuko still looked at him with a knowing look in his eyes. "I should probably still go and get a healer. They need to check up on you and your sister would have my head if I won't go get her immediately now."
He could feel the hand holding him, Zuko's hand, loosing the hold on him. He couldn't have that. He was so sure he would never see and hold his husband again, he couldn't let him go now. He squeezed as hard as he could, trying to keep Zuko's hand in his.
"No... No... Please stay."
Ugh talking sucked. Something was really stuck in his throat. He tried to cough it out, but it only came with more pain. He groaned. "Ow... hurts."
"Hey, ssh, it's fine. You're fine, take it easy. If it hurts to talk you don't have to." Zuko smiled at him, even though there were still tears running down his face. "Agni Sokka you scared me so much, I'm so so glad you're awake."
He opened his mouth to answer, trying to say how glad he was too see them. How he never thought he would again, even though talking hurt. Before he could do so though, Izumi opened her eyes, awoken by the sound of them talking even though they tried to stay silent to let her sleep. She looked straight at Sokka.
"Dad...?" She rubbed her eyes, clearly disbelieving what she saw. However, soon her eyes widened in joy. "Dad! Dad!! You're awake!!" She jumped from Zuko's arms onto the bed and on top of him before Zuko could catch her. She tried to hug Sokka as best as she could. "Dad! Dad I was so scared you wouldn't wake up again, and Baba was so sad and I tried to make him smile but now you're awake so you can make it all better again!"
After her last words she started crying, loudly. Big heavy tears were falling from her eyes. It hurt to see how much pain this whole situation had caused their daughter.
"Hey Zooms... I love you... so much."
He shouldn't talk, but he wouldn't go any longer not saying it to her. He almost lost his chance ever saying it to her again and he wouldn't let that happen again. He looked at Zuko, who was clearly trying to get Izumi off of him, clearly worried she was hurting him. He reached out to stop him, even if she hurt him he wouldn't have it any other way. He never wanted to let her go again. Zuko looked at him with worried eyes. Well, Izumi wasn't the only one he needed to say things too.
"I love you.. I love you both... so, so much." He coughed again, which was a lot harder and painful with Izumi on his chest, but he wouldn't let her leave. He didn't want her to let go of him."
Zuko smiled at him. "I love you too, you stubborn idiot, but please stop talking." He turned to their daughter, who was still lying on Sokka's chest. "Izumi love, can you stay here and watch over your Dad for me and keep him quiet? Maybe you can tell him all the things you've learned in school while he was away? I need to get a healer."
Izumi's eyes lighted up and Sokka smiled. Leave it to Zuko to make the situation better. His husband crouched down so he could whisper in his ear. "I will be back soon sweetheart, please stay quiet. I love you."
Zuko kissed his cheek lightly and stood up, leaving the room to get a healer as he told he would. Sokka focussed his attention fully on Izumi, who was babbling away about all she had done in school over the last couple of days. It was nice, laying here and listening to her talk. Healing would probably take a while, both physically and emotionally. But for now he had his family back, and if he could help it he would never let them get so out of reach again.