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Eddie never considered himself to be a jealous person. Come to think of it, he was pretty sure that he’d be the last person on Earth to be jealous of someone. He knew that, out of the entire 118, he was the one with the most secretive life. He had poker night, basketball, there was the entire illegal fighting that Bosko introduced him to. No one questioned him about his hobbies outside the firehouse, so he also didn’t question them about theirs. He couldn’t care less.
Until Tommy arrived.
Until Buck started to act all weird towards him.
It was already bad enough that he had missed the opportunity to fly to Vegas to watch that fight – okay, the fight was quite lame, but he knew they would have awesome seats and they’d fly to the place. Tommy had actually mentioned them flying a chopper there. Eddie thought it was so cool, but then he got to Harbor, and, to his surprise and demise, the pilot was nowhere to be seen and no one seemed to know where he went.
Tommy did call the next day to apologize and say that something had come up that took his mind of off their plans. He didn’t really blame the guy, it was a huge favor he was doing for Eddie, he owed him nothing, but Eddie still felt bad about it.
And then there was Buck and his weird behavior. He was used to his best-friend by now. He was used to his constant rambling, his inability to keep a secret to save his own life, his habit of trying to fix everyone’s problems even when no one asked him to – Eddie might relay on him a little too much for that, he has to admit. What he’s not used is Buck being distant, avoiding his company – and Eddie knows is his company specifically, because he has seen his best-friend talking to everybody around the house. He’s not used to Buck refusing to watch Chris at night so Eddie can go on a date with Marisol, or to him cancelling their plans last minute with some lame excuse. Eddie knows there’s something wrong, but he can’t pinpoint exactly what, and he seems to be the only one to notice that Buck’s weird.
“I just don’t get it, okay?” He says to Chim and Hen one afternoon – Buck, as always, is nowhere to be seen. “I barely see him anymore. Called him to hang out the other night, even asked if he could watch Chris for me and he said he wasn’t available.” Eddie complains. “Buck never refuses to watch Chris. He loves that kid.” He adds, because he truly felt hurt by that last one. “And have you noticed how he doesn’t stop looking at his phone anymore? Like, he’s always with his face buried on that thing.”
“If I didn’t know you any better, I’d say you’re jealous,” Hen mocks him, no taking her eyes away from the book she’s reading. Howie just laughs to himself, muttering something about divorce 2.0.
“Aren’t you curious in the least?” He questions, not bothering to ask what that means. “How long has Buck last without spilling out a secret?”
“Maybe it’s just a new girlfriend.” Chimney offers and Eddie just sighs, they just don’t get it. “Maybe he got back with that Taylor girl and is ashamed to share it with us.”
“He’s not back with Taylor,” Hen chimes in from her place on the couch. She puts her book down and looks at him. Eddie has a feeling that whatever it is that is going on with his best friend, Hen knows. Because she always knows stuff. “Look, it’s Buck, okay? If he’s not telling us something, maybe he has his reasons, and eventually he’ll come around.”
“You know, don’t you?” Howie asks for him, and Eddie waits for an answer eagerly. “I’m pretty sure Maddie knows, but she ain’t cracking for shit. Stupid sibling bond.”
“I just don’t get why he didn’t talk to me,” Eddie mumbles, very aware that he sounds like a spoiled kid. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Eddie, if it bothers you that much maybe you should go talk to him.” Hen offers. “He’s downstairs at the gym, go on and talk to him like the two adults you both are. This isn’t high school anymore.”
And she’s got a good point, but Eddie still doesn’t follow her advice. He wants to, he really does, but at the same time he doesn’t want to bother Buck. Because it is true, if he’s really hiding something, there’s probably a reason of why he didn’t tell them, right? And if only Maddie knows, it certainly is something important for him. But damn, is Eddie curious.
~ * ~
He lasts all but two days on his determination to not bother his friend and poke him for the truth. Christopher is out of town staying with some cousins and Eddie’s just bored out of his mind. Marisol is out having dinner with her brother, and he just can’t stay at the house anymore. If he was acting normal, Eddie would just call Buck and they could do something together, and he really doesn’t like that he feels like he can’t reach out to his friend.
“Screw it,” he says to the emptiness of his house, grabs his keys and wallet and leaves. He needs his best-friend back and he also wants to make sure that he didn’t do anything to upset Buck. He can’t remember anything in particular, but sometimes he’d say or do something stupid that would cause Buck to isolate for a while. Never this long though. Buck always came back and forgave him. Maybe Eddie should reflect a little on his behavior if things are starting to get this bad.
The way to Buck’s house is quick, not enough traffic on his way at this time. Maybe he should text or call, make sure that Buck’s home, but he hasn’t been answering his texts very well, and Eddie has a feeling that if he called, Buck wouldn’t pick up. So, he gets out of the car, gets on the elevator and follows the familiar path towards Buck’s apartment.
As he stands in front of the door, he can hear soft music playing in the background, a delicious smell of something – probably a new lasagna – and some voices. Two, to be exact, one that is very Buck and the other he doesn’t recognize through the muffled sounds. He’d believe Chim’s theory about him being with a new girlfriend if the other voice wasn’t so masculine. Eddie knocks before he can’t stop himself.
He doesn’t have to wait longer for the door to open, but he is very surprised by who opens it on the other side.
“Tommy?” He asks, staring at the tall man in front of him. The pilot is wearing his typical henley and some jeans, barefoot as if he’s at home and not just visiting. Eddie can’t remember if he ever got barefoot at Buck’s place.
“Eddie!” The other man says with a smile, he looks behind his shoulder. “You didn’t tell me you invited Eddie.”
“I… I didn’t…” Buck appears behind the pilot; confusion is not the only emotion he can see on his best-friend’s face. Eddie is shocked and has so many questions. Like, how did that happen? He doesn’t remember seeing Buck and Tommy interacting much, he had no idea they had kept in touch after the accident. “Hey, man, come in…” Tommy steps back at Buck’s invitation and opens the door wider to allow him to walk in.
Eddie feels like he shouldn’t walk in, like he’s interrupting something. There are no candle lights or whatever, but the apartment is dimly lit, and he sees an actual bottle of wine on Buck’s kitchen island, with two glasses well served. He takes a step back instead of being forward, trying to retreat and try this again at another opportunity.
“I… I think I better go,” he says, not sure of what to do. He sees the exchanged looks between Tommy and Buck and wonders when that happened. How are they so close already that they can communicate with looks? It took months for him and Buck being able to do so. Tommy nods and vanishes; he has no idea where to. Not that Buck’s apartment has a lot of places to hide. It’s all open concept, so Tommy is just giving them an idea of privacy.
“Come in,” Buck asks, almost pleading. “Please?”
He follows his friend inside and is taken aback by the delicious smell that’s coming from the oven. His mouth waters and he realizes he’s actually starving. Buck chuckles behind him, touching him on the shoulder and guiding him towards the kitchen space. He foregoes a glass of wine to grab a beer inside the fridge, opening and offering it to Eddie.
“Sit,” Buck asks, pointing towards the stools. He never had Buck offering him anything at his house, he always felt at home here, pretty much the same way Buck feels at Eddie’s house. This is how weird things are between them. “Sorry about that. Wasn’t expecting for you to find out like that.
“Find what out?” Eddie asks, harsher than he intended. Buck doesn’t react to that, almost as if he was already expecting that reaction. Like he’s been waiting the entire month and a half for this to happen.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you, I just didn’t know how, and then time just went by, and I felt it becoming worse and worse.”
“Buck, what is going on?” Eddie asks after taking a sip of the beer to calm down. He didn’t come here to be mad at Buck, he wanted to sort things out between them, he wanted to find out what was going on and why his friend wasn’t trusting him. “Why are you acting weird with me? Did I do something? Cause if I did, I’m really sorry. You know I do and say stupid things sometimes, but I really am sorry. I’ll actually start to work on that, because I know it’s not fair to you or anyone else.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Buck assures him. It’s the fact that he’s so calm that makes Eddie relax as well. Normally his friend is so anxious when he has something to say, that makes everyone around him nervous. But this time he’s calm and relaxed, so Eddie doesn’t think something bad is happening. “Maybe I did, and I’m sorry for that. I should’ve told you sooner.”
“Well, I’m here now.” Eddie offers, looking at his friend in the hopes that it’s a comforting look.
“I…” Buck sighs and looks at something behind Eddie, probably where Tommy’s making himself busy. “Tommy and I are dating.” He blurts out at last, and Eddie just stares at him. “We’ve been dating all this time… Actually, the day you guys were supposed to go to Vegas, he didn’t go because he was with me. I didn’t know, obviously, I’d never stand in between you two hanging out. I basically called him asking for a tour at Harbor because, well, you know me, I like to know things, and after that I offered to buy him a beer and, well… He forgot he made plans with you. I’m really sorry about that.”
Buck goes on a rampage and Eddie tries really hard to focus. That’s the nervous-anxious friend he’s used to. Years in the friendship he learned how to pay attention and pick up the most important information. He doesn’t really care about much; he’s focus on the fact that they are dating. Turns out Chimney wasn’t so wrong after all.
“And he didn’t tell you that he was with me because he didn’t want to out me, which I think it was really nice, but anyway, it wasn’t fair to you and I…”
“Buck,” Eddie raises his hand and looks at the man in front of him. “Stop talking, please.” He hopes he doesn’t sound mad or annoyed. Because he’s not, he just needs silence to think. Eddie tries to process the information as fast as he can because he knows each minute just adds to Buck’s anxiety and he doesn’t want his friend to freak out more than he already is. He looks behind him and finds Tommy sitting at the living room on what seems to be a brand-new couch, looking at something on his phone, then looks back at Buck. “So, you two…”
“We’re dating, yes.” Buck confirms, still very nervous and anxious, but opening a shy smile, really happy by how things turned out for him.
“O-okay…” Eddie nods, taking another sip of his beer.
“Is… Is that weird?” He hears Buck asking and groans, he hates how insecure the man sounds, as if Eddie all of the sudden is going to look at him differently. Eddie couldn’t care less about who his friend dates – unless it was Taylor, obviously, he wants that woman as far away from him and the 118 as possible.
“Of course not,” Eddie looks at him with all the sincerity he has in him. “Did I wish you told me sooner? Sure, but do I find it weird or think of you any way differently? Heck no. We didn’t hang out much, but I like him too. Not the same way as you, evidently… But it’s not weird.” He sees Buck chuckling at his attempt of a joke, but he knows his friend is not entirely certain yet. Eddie stares into his eyes, wanting to make sure Buck understands where he’s standing at all of this. “This doesn’t change anything between us, okay?” He hears with a pang in his chest when Buck sighs in relief, as if he’s been holding his breath this entire time.
“Good… That’s, hm… That’s a relief.” Buck says and smiles at him. Eddie doesn’t think much about it, he just knows his friends needs some kind of comfort. So, he gets up, walks around the kitchen island and pulls him into a hug. They don’t hug often, but every time it happens, they have a purpose, it’s important. He feels Buck’s body relaxing under his touch.
“So, did I just walk in into your date night?” He asks once he pulls back.
“I pretty much came unannounced too,” Tommy says from the living room, starting to come towards them. “Lasagna is about to get ready.” He points to the oven. Buck just nods.
“You want some? It’s that new recipe I’ve been trying to crack.” Buck explains, checking the timer and looking inside the oven. Eddie looks at Tommy, and he nods in agreement. The pilot knows this is important to Buck, just as much as Eddie, and that makes him smile.
“I can hang a little, Chris’s out of town.” He announces, going back to the stool he was occupying earlier. “So, how you’ve been, man?”
He and Tommy hung out after the Vegas fiasco, the pilot accompanying him to the basketball pick-up game he did with some other firefighters. They didn’t hang out as much as Eddie wished, but now he had a pretty good idea of why.
“Does Hen know about this?” He asks after Tommy answers him. “I know you told your sister, because Chim’s pretty mad she won’t tell him. But what about Hen?”
“She doesn’t know the details, I don’t think,” Buck tells, taking the lasagna out of the oven and putting it onto the table. “I did tell her about my sexuality, but that was all. I was hoping to bring Tommy as my date for Maddie and Chimney’s wedding. So, everyone would know all at once.”
“Ah, right, make their wedding about you,” Eddie jokes and Buck throws him a napkin.
“Need to cause some scene so people have something to talk about, right?” Buck says, smiling fondly at Tommy. Eddie looks at them, especially at his best friend and smiles.
“Whatever… If you’re happy, then I’m happy for you, man,” Eddie says, following Tommy’s lead and getting to the kitchen table, where dinner is served.
“I really am,” Buck says next to him and Eddie smiles.
They sit by the table and Buck starts to narrate all of the events from the past month and half they barely spoke or hung out. At times, Eddie does feel a touch of jealousy, by seeing so many opportunities they could’ve hang out, going on double dates or something, but he also gets it. Coming out is a pretty big thing, especially at Buck’s age, he heard stories, he’s seen a lot too. Part of him still doesn’t get completely why his friend didn’t tell him from the start, but he doesn’t hold a grudge. If Buck needed some time to figure things out, to make sure of what was going on, then he was happy for him that things seemed to be working out.
It did help that he could also see how stupidly enamored Tommy was by Buck, just by the way the pilot looked at his friend, Eddie knew he was too far gone on the man already. Buck seemed to feel the same way. He found it endearing. After seeing Buck go through so much, so many breakups, he truly hoped this was it for his friend.