Chapter Text
Perhaps it was a dream, an hallucination. Perhaps she had finally lost her mind because Rhaenyra was sitting next to her.
Rhaenyra, her childhood friend. Rhaenyra, the woman his son was in war against. Rhaenyra.
“What-” Alicent managed to speak, barely audible. Rhaenyra was grabbing her wrist and she was holding a dagger. Was she planning to kill her? Rhaenyra was staring right in Alicent's eyes.
“I must speak with you.” She said.
Alicent looked around, to make sure no one was around.
“If I cry out?”
“Your knights would find me. I would be taken or slain, though not before I killed you.”
Alicent scoffed. Of course. Of course Rhaenyra threatened her at the one place she felt at peace, because even that she had to take away from her.
“Then what?”
Rhaenyra's lips trembled slightly. She blinked as she looked at Alicent.”I have begun badly.” She said.
Alicent scoffed again. Unbelievable. Rhaenyra had come here with no plan. How foolish of her. She could be taken or killed, did she not consider that? Was she so eager to speak to Alicent that she would risk her own life for it?
Alicent should've screamed. She should've alerted the knights about the intruder. It was her duty to be Aegon's ally. It could end the war before it even began.
But she didn't. Because it was Rhaenyra. And deep down, Alicent wanted to hear what Rhaenyra had to say.
Alicent looked at Rhaenyra, letting her speak.
“We watched the tourney together, you and I, the day my brother was born.” Rhaenyra recalled. Alicent shook her head slightly. Where was she going with this?”We knew, even then, that men trained up for battle are eager to fight, to seek blood and glory. But you are-” Rhaenyra looked behind her.”I know you do not have that desire within you.”
Bold assumption from her, as always. But she was right. Alicent didn't wish for bloodshed; she wanted to avoid a war. Rhaenyra knew how to read her and she hated it.
“Rhaenys has counseled me.” Rhaenyra continued.”She said she saw in you a wish to avert the worst of what may now come.”
“So you've come to surrender then?”
It was pointless to ask, she knew what Rhaenyra's answer would be, but she had to try.
“I have come to see if we may uncover some path towards peace.”
Which was essentially a no.
“My dragons are restless, they smell battle.” She continued.”But if you and I may come to terms-”
“There are no terms now.” Alicent interrupted her.”You have no army, your allies turn from you when they hear about your depravity, your hands are bloodied in a crime I could never have imagined you-”
“The trespass was not mine.” Rhaenyra declared.
Did it matter? The damage was done. Whether Rhaenyra had ordered or not, it was done in her name.
“Think what you will.” Rhaenyra said.”I am a mother too and you have yet to answer for the murder of my son.”
“I repudiate that act with all my heart.”
Alicent meant it. She never wanted for something like that to happen and she blamed Aemond for it. She had lit up a candle for Lucerys, though bringing that fact would be useless.
“Of course you do.” Rhaenyra spat out those words, trying to withhold her rage Alicent could tell. She didn't know what it was like to lose a son. She lost her grandson but it wasn't the same. For that much, she could feel sorry for Rhaenyra, even though it meant nothing at this point.
“And the usurping of my rightful inheritance?”
Alicent heaved a sigh and shook her head slightly, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes.
A woman appeared across them to light up a candle so they sat there in silence for a moment.
“Have you stooped so low that you will countenance the suffering and death of thousands in order that your feckless son-”
“Your father changed his mind.” Alicent said firmly.
She remembered too well. She didn't mishear, Viserys had spoken Aegon's name. Alicent was merely a messenger.
“Oh, so you say.” Rhaenyra breathed out.”And so your father has proclaimed to the realm.” She accused. As much as Rhaenyra wanted to deny it, it was the truth, why couldn't she accept that?
”I saw the king that night. Mere hours before I left, he had affirmed my right to the throne, a right he upheld steadfastly, every day of his life after my mother's death. And yet, you will mantiene that his mind was changed in an instant?”
“I will.”
She had to. It was her duty. Viserys had spoken and Alicent listened, it was what she was taught her whole life and she wasn't going to change it now. All that sacrifice had to mean something.
“You lie.” Rhaenyra said.
“No, Rhaenyra.” She denied.
“My father loved me, Alicent.”
Alicent knew that very well. Viserys had loved Rhaenyra more than any of their children together.
“And I believe he loved you, too.”
Perhaps he did. Perhaps Alicent loved him too, but not in the way she was supposed to. Viserys was a weak man, Alicent didn't truly respect him. But he was there. Alicent could not ignore it. She spent all her life giving him what he wanted. A heir. Sex. Love. And she continued to carry on his will after his death. So, no. Alicent did not lie.
“Did you betray him at the very last?” When was your plan first laid? Was your ambition so keen-”
“He changed his mind, Rhaenyra. He changed his mind.” She declared once again. Rhaenyra stared at her but her gaze faltered, she was moved by Alicent's statement.
“I swear this to you on the memory of my mother.”
That was what Rhaenyra had told her decades ago when Alicent asked her about Daemon. But this time, it wasn't a lie.
Rhaenyra stared at her, her expression inscrutable. Alicent averted her gaze for a moment.
“I have been at times unkind but never untrue.” She looked at Rhaenyra again.”I pronounced before all gathered in that room that you would make a fine queen. Do you think me capable of such naked deceit?”
Rhaenyra looked at her as if searching for something deep within Alicent's soul. Alicent looked away. They stayed silent for a moment, Alicent's words lingering heavy in the air.
“What did he say, at the end?” Rhaenyra asked.”Did he speak my name?”
Of course Rhaenyra wanted to know. She was his daughter. Alicent had to be truthful, she could give Rhaenyra that much, so she shook her head.
“He was weary.” Alicent began.”It was hard, at times, to understand. But he spoke Aegon's name.” She let Rhaenyra take in her words and then spoke again.”He said he was the prince that was promised to unite the realm.”
“What?”
“I desire peace as you do but if-”
“Did my father use those words? The prince that was promised?”
Alicent didn't know why Rhaenyra wanted to know that. At the end, it didn't matter the exact words he used, but that he spoke Aegon's name.
“Did he?”
“Yes, he did.” Alicent replied unsure of what Rhaenyra wanted.
“He spoke to you of the Song of Ice and Fire?”
Alicent had no clue of what Rhaenyra was talking about. She had never heard of it. All she could do was stare at her in confusion.
“It's a story he once told about Aegon the conqueror.”
Oh. Something clicked in Alicent.
“The conqueror.” Alicent managed to mumble.
It couldn't be. Had she been… mistaken? Was this nonsense war caused by a simple mistake on her part?
It couldn't be. It all had to mean something. Because if it didn't then all her pain and sacrifice had been for nothing. She could not allow that.
“You must go before you are discovered.”
“There's been a mistake.”
“There's been no mistake.”
Alicent stood up to leave but Rhaenyra yanked her arm back down with force.
“Please. You can prevent this, Alicent. A terrible war is looming and even victory may be so bloody as to be counted as a loss. Do not let your pride blind you.”
Yes, Alicent was a prideful person, but with reason. She had to prioritize her children and her position. It was all she had left.
But Rhaenyra was begging her. Rhaenyra had come all the way from Dragonstone just to have a word with Alicent. That had to mean something too.
“So what, Rhaenyra? It's too late.” She shook her head slowly.
“Speak to your son. Convince him that there's another way.” Rhaenyra suddenly grabbed her hand and Alicent let her.”Please.”
Alicent sighed.”Aegon won't bend the knee. He was hesitant at first, but now that Jaehaerys was murdered there's no stopping him. He wants revenge. He wants to taste victory at any cost.”
Rhaenyra was left speechless. Alicent looked at their joined hands. How long had it been since the last time she had felt the warm of Rhaenyra's hand? Decades perhaps. Now she didn't want to let go, as wrong as it was.
“Then come with me. If you were by my side, Aegon might reconsider it.” Rhaenyra finally said.
Alicent was taken back. She blinked and her lips parted. Rhaenyra was serious.
“Are you out of your mind? I have a duty. I must remain by my children's side. I have Helaena and Jaehaera to look after.” Alicent said.”Aegon would not change his mind, he would just despise me.”
“Do you care about that?”
Did she? She couldn't tell. It didn't matter anymore. She didn't say anything.
“Bring my sister and her daughter with you. I'll look after the three of you.” Rhaenyra proposed.
My sister. Alicent had never heard of Rhaenyra referring to Helaena as her sister before.
She sighed, closing her eyes.” What are we doing, Rhaenyra?”
Rhaenyra squeezed her hand. “We're changing the course of things.”
“These men want war. There's nothing that can be done.”
“Then spare yourself and Helaena from any more pain.”
Silence filled the room once again. Alicent pondered the thought. What if she said yes?
No. She couldn't do that. It was reckless. There were a million things that could go wrong. She belonged in King's Landing.
But she still found herself thinking about it.
“What of Daemon?” Alicent asked.
“What about him?”
Alicent scoffed.”He's responsible for my daughter’s pain. I do not wish to see him or have him around Helaena and my granddaughter.”
“Daemon is gone. I don't know when he's coming back, or if he will. We can arrange things.”
Alicent shook her head.”It's not possible, Rhaenyra.”
“Please, just consider it.” Rhaenyra squeezed her hand again.
Alicent looked in her eyes. Those pleading eyes. The eyes that once held pure love for her were staring at her soul now. How long could she hold her gaze before looking away, as if burned by the intensity of Rhaenyra's gaze.
“Then what? I cannot leave with you now.”
“I have an idea.”Rhaenyra began.”If you decide to come, you'll send a raven to Dragonstone. You can write anything in the letter, as long as it's not suspicious. And once you do that, I'll send someone to get you.”
“We could get caught. Who knows what would happen to us.”
“I will make sure that won't happen.” Rhaenyra assured.
“You can't know, Rhaenyra!” Alicent exclaimed.”You can't know.”
Rhaenyra fell silent. Alicent stared at the candles.
So it had all been for nothing. She had spent all her life serving both her house and the realm and it was all for nothing. She couldn't put her son on the throne legitimately. She could not prevent war. She had failed Helaena as a mother. She could not protect her from the cruel world.
Shame and guilt clouded her mind once again. It was all she could feel these days.
But she had a choice now. She let herself believe Rhaenyra again after decades.
“I'll consider it, Rhaenyra.” She stood up abruptly.”Now go.”
She turned around to leave when she heard Rhaenyra.”I'll be waiting for you, Alicent.”
Alicent's eyes were glassy with tears. She nodded and made her way out of the Sept.