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Wildflower

Summary:

JJ finds out about the BAU Gate from Luke Alvez and not Emily. This causes a huge fight to break out between the two of them. The story starts 3 weeks after the fight. Based on the song WILDFLOWER by Billie Eilish.

Notes:

Try to see how many lyrics you can catch within the story. First time writing Jemily in a while, but I couldn’t help myself especially after seeing the 17x06 teaser!

Work Text:

It has been three weeks since their fight. Emily has been staying in a hotel ever since, only seeing her wife in the halls of the BAU. The fight they had haunts her dreams every night, and it is killing her that JJ won’t answer any of her texts. She paces back and forth in her hotel room, searching for answers, and a way to apologize for what she has done. Eventually, an idea pops into her head and she grabs her keys and heads to the parking lot.

Once she is standing by her car she lets out a heavy sigh, “What are you doing Emily?” She asks herself out loud as she opens the door to her car. After she started the engine she answered her own question. “You are fixing your marriage, that is what you are doing.” With another heavy sigh, she drove off.

On the way to her destination, one of her favorite songs was being talked about on the radio. Moments later the lyrics to ‘Girl Crush’ by Little Big Town started playing. Ten years ago this song came onto the radio for the first time while she and JJ were sitting in their car on a stakeout. At that point, the two had already been together for a few years, but since then Emily always found it to be her song for JJ. The lyrics were just so fitting. She found herself humming along at a red light and suddenly a few tears began to fall from her eyes. All she wanted right now was to be back home with her wife and two kids more than anything.

Eventually, she pulled the car over and got out. As she got out of her car she looked up at the building in front of her and noticed a light on in a particular window. ‘Perfect’ she thought, wiping the tears from her eyes. She walked up to the door and rang the buzzer.

“Hello?” A familiar voice answered.

“Hey Garcia, it’s me… Can I come in?” Emily asked as her throat began to tighten with pain and a little bit of embarrassment.

“Of course love, come right up!” Penelope answered in a cheerful tone. Emily smiled and walked through the double doors into the apartment building. As soon as she reached Penelope’s hallway, she saw her waiting outside her door. “Come here you,” Penelope said in a sympathetic voice the minute she saw Emily walking down the hallway. Moments later Emily was embraced with a huge hug before being walked over to the couch. “Sit and talk,” Garcia demanded as she sat down across from her visibly upset best friend.

Emily found herself wiping tears from her eyes again. “I messed up Penelope. I really fucked it up this time, I haven’t heard from JJ in three weeks. She won’t respond to my texts or calls.” She threw her face into her hands so Garcia wouldn’t have to see her cry.

“Emily, it was a big fight. You guys barely fight. You two are quite literally the healthiest couple that I have ever seen.” Penelope said softly, attempting to comfort her. “JJ is just as upset as you are. Trust me.”

This got Emily to sit right up. “Wait, have you heard from her?” She watched as her friend nodded her head. “Is she okay? Oh my god. I have been so worried that something happened to her or one of the boys and that is why she hasn’t answered me.”

Penelope watched some of the weight lift off of Emily’s shoulders. “The night it happened, she came over. The boys weren’t with her, she must have called her mom.”

Emily sighed and leaned back so she could stare at the ceiling. “Did she tell you what happened?” She asked as the moment began to fade back into her thoughts.

“No, she didn’t really, all I got was bits and pieces,” Penelope answered. “The night it happened she came over and sat down with me on the couch for a bit. Eventually, she was crying on my shoulder but all I could do was hold her since I had no clue what exactly happened.”

Another sigh came from Emily. “It was about the BAU Gate. I never told her it was reactivated. Alvez must have broken the order I gave him not to tell her.” She sat up and looked over at Penelope. “I was going to tell her, but she found out before I found a way to tell her.” A few more tears began to fall from her eyes, “I see her in the back of my mind all the time, Penelope. I don’t want this to be what ends us.”

Penelope sighed and tossed a tissue box at Emily. “She’s your girl, you have shown her the world Emily, but you guys have had this big conundrum get in your way. I promise she hasn’t fallen out of love, she just feels betrayed so she let you go.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt her. You and I both know that I was keeping it from her so I could protect her and the boys.” Emily took a tissue out of the box and wiped her nose. “God, I miss the boys. I should go home.” She sat up and put the crumpled tissue into her pocket.

“You mean the hotel?” Penelope corrected her but saw Emily shake her head no. “Oh you mean, home.”

Emily stood up. “You had the website shut down and got everything deleted. I need to see my wife. I need to sleep in a bed next to my wife. I can’t stay in that hotel room for much longer. I am going INSANE. IT IS LIKE A PRISON!!” She didn’t realize she was shouting until she saw Penelope wince. “Sorry…” Emily apologized.

“No, it’s okay. I get it.” She got up from her chair and embraced Emily in another hug. “Go get your family back.” Penelope walked Emily over to the door and kissed her on the cheek. “You got this.”

“Yeah. I got this.” Emily repeated before walking away.

-

As she was walking up the path to their front door she heard a voice off in the distance. “Momma?” Emily looked up to see her youngest son running towards her. “MOMMA!!!” He screamed.

Emily scooped him up in her arms and kissed him on the top of his head. “Hi bub, Momma’s home.” She whispered in his ear, holding him tightly.

“Momma, why are you crying?” Michael asked, wiping a tear off of Emily’s face.

She smiled at her son before putting him down. “I am just so happy to see you again. I missed you and Henry so much.” The two of them were walking back towards the house when Emily spotted JJ sitting on the swing with Henry.

“Look Hen, Momma’s home!” Michael shouted across the yard causing both Henry and JJ to jerk their heads up. As soon as Henry saw Emily standing there he sprinted over to her.

“Mom and I were just talking about you.” He said as he wiped a tear away from his eye. “I’ve missed you so much.” Henry wrapped Emily in his arms and she did the same. Michael joined in on their hug shortly after.

Emily stood there hugging both of the boys when she noticed her wife walking over. “Hey kiddos, why don’t you head inside and start getting materials out for a fort in my office? Momma has to talk to Mommy real quick and we will be right in to help okay?”

Henry let go and looked up at her. “Are you sure aren’t gonna leave again?”

“I promise. I’m here to stay.” The boys squeezed Emily a little tighter before running into the house. Once the boys were completely out of sight, Emily spoke. “Jennifer, I-” However she was quickly cut off by a hug.

JJ stood there holding Emily in her arms. “Just shut up for a moment.” She whispered in Emily’s ear. Eventually, she took a step back. “You know how hard it has been to just tell the boys you were on vacation?”

Emily sighed. “By the look on Henry’s face. Very hard.”

“Yeah. I feared he was beginning to catch on. Especially after he noticed I had been ignoring your texts.” JJ mumbled.

After JJ finished talking Emily looked down at the ground. “Your song came on the radio on my way here.” JJ grabbed her hand. “It brought me back to that stake out 10 years ago. The first time it played was when we were together.”

JJ let out a small sigh and wiped a small tear from her eye. “Girl Crush,” she whispered.

“I realized at that moment that I never want that song to become a sad memory.” Emily looked up at JJ. “Jennifer, I was going to tell you. I really was. I was just trying to find the correct way to get it out.”

“It doesn’t matter now Em. It mattered then. What if Henry’s teachers or friends found it.” JJ stopped for a second and looked down at their hands before finally letting go of Emily’s. “Or worse. What if Henry found it? He is always on that stupid iPad researching everything that has to do with the two of us.”

Emily paused, “I didn’t think about that. Oh my god.” The realization of any of that happening set in. “Well, Penelope and the rest of the tech crew shut it down and she has done her best to find any floaters, deactivating the accounts they were on.”

JJ ran her hand through her hair. “I just hate that I had to find out through Luke and not from you.” She looked back up at Emily. “It felt like my own wife could not even protect me from the crimes of Elias Voit.” Tears began rolling down her cheeks.

“Oh JJ, you know that isn’t true. It is so hard not to tell you some things because I have so many direct orders not to.” Emily sighed, bringing her hand up to wipe the tears that were falling from her wife’s eyes.

“This is different Emily. You and I both know it is. I get you were trying to protect me,” she paused and leaned into Emily’s hand, “and protect us, but it really backfired.” She looked up from where she was resting her head and noticed that tears were also beginning to fall from Emily’s eyes. “I shouldn’t have kicked you out. Also, I probably shouldn’t have been ignoring your texts and calls, but-”

Emily stopped her. “You needed space.” She brought up her other hand to wipe away her own tears while making sure to comfort JJ with the other. “I get that. It is hard being both your boss at work and the wife and mother to our kids at home, but it’s the life we live. It’s the life I love.”

JJ wrapped her arms back around Emily. “Please, tell me you are staying here tonight.” She whispered, enjoying the feeling of her back in her arms.

“My stuff is still at the hotel, but I can grab it on the way to work tomorrow morning.” Emily sniffled as a smile appeared on her face. JJ released her arms and took a step back. “Jennifer Jareau-Prentiss, I love you with all of my heart and I will until the day I die, no matter what happens, I will always be here for you and our boys.”

JJ smiled. “Em, I know that you love me. You don't need to remind me of that. I just want to put this all behind us. You didn’t intend to hurt me but at that moment I didn’t know why you kept it from me.” She turned and looked back at the house. “Speaking of the boys, we better get inside before they destroy the place looking for blankets.”

Emily laughed. “God, how I have missed being home.” She took JJ’s hand in hers and pulled her towards the door. “Let's go build the coolest fort to ever exist!”

“I have missed having you home. I am sure the boys are going to love having you back from ‘vacation’ too,” JJ said with a smirk as she followed Emily into their house.

Later that night they were all lying in their completed fort. It took up the entire room and it used almost every blanket and pillow they had in the house. Emily knew it would probably take her a few days to take all the blankets and pillows down and restore her office to its original state, but right now she didn’t care. She looked over and saw JJ sleeping with Henry’s head on her chest while Michael was sprawled out across all three of them, but his head was on her lap. She quickly picked up her phone and took a photo of the four of them. She sent the image and a text to Penelope before setting her phone back down and pulling a big blanket across everyone.

‘I did it Garcia. I got them back.’

This was going to be the best night's sleep she has had in almost a month, even if it was going to be taking place on the floor of her home office. With one last glimpse at her family, she shut her eyes and drifted off to sleep.