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Leo knew that when it came to Jason Grace, dog jokes were pretty much par for the course. Between his big ol’ puppy dog eyes, his golden retriever boyfriend vibe, and all the weird little habits he’d picked up from his time with Lupa and her pack, dog jokes were possibly the lowest hanging fruit in the world. Everyone knew that, but they still all thought they were funny, even the dog boy in question, so dog jokes continued to be a staple in the life of Jason Grace.
However, Leo had never seen Jason look more like a dog than he did as he slunk into the Bunker one afternoon with his metaphorical tail tucked solidly between his legs. His shoulders were hunched and he gave Leo the biggest pair of sad blue eyes that clearly said I know I did something wrong, but pretty please don’t be mad at me. Leo was immediately on guard and squinted at Jason suspiciously. As near as Leo could tell, there weren’t any major injuries, which was usually what Jason was in trouble for. Did he break something? No, Leo hadn’t left anything important out to be broken. Besides, Jason knew Leo liked the opportunity to fix broken things. No, Jason wouldn’t be nearly that nervous or guilty if he’d just broken something.
Leo was saved from his futile guessing game when Jason awkwardly cleared his throat. “Uh, hey, um. Hey, Leo.”
Leo meant to say hey back, he really did, but when he opened his mouth the only thing that came out was, “What did you do?”
Jason gave him a nervous chuckle. “Pretty sure that’s usually my line.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not right now. Spill.”
Jason narrowed his eyes and squared his jaw, and, for a moment, Leo thought he might actually refuse. Then he heaved a heavy sigh, flopped into a nearby chair, and buried his face in his hands. “Okay, so Piper and I broke up, right?”
“I was aware of that, yes,” Leo said slowly. It had been more than a little bit of a shock to wake up in the infirmary a week after the big showdown with Gaea and have Piper and Jason immediately hit him with the Congratulations, your heroic sacrifice won the battle; also we broke up because we both figured out we’re gay . “What does that have to do with anything? That happened, like months ago.”
“Well,” Jason said, drawing out the word like he never wanted it to end. “Obviously, I’ve been talking to Thalia since then.”
“Obviously.”
“And, well, she’s been–” Jason pressed his lips together as he searched for the right word– “concerned about how well I’ve been handling the breakup.”
Leo frowned. “I thought you were handling it fine. You and Piper are still friends, right? Have you two been fighting when I’m not around or something?”
“No, no, no,” Jason assured him, shaking his head. “Piper and I are great. Honestly, being her friend is way more fun than being her boyfriend. It’s just… Thalia doesn’t really get that.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. For some reason she’s convinced herself that I’m taking this whole thing way harder than I am, and I’m just repressing or something.” He folded his arms across his chest and his brow furrowed in that adorable little pout of his. “Not like she has a lot of room to talk about handling breakups poorly, seeing as she completely swore off romance entirely to join an eternal girl gang in response to her breakup.”
Leo clucked his tongue. “That’s so not fair, dude. Waking up from being a tree for seven years only to find out that the guy you had a thing for is now possessed by a Titan lord bent on destroying the world is not in the same category as a mutual breakup because you’re both incompatible types of queer.”
“Exactly!” Jason exclaimed, throwing up his hands. “She’s got, like, no basis for what a normal breakup looks like. For some reason, she’s convinced that what she went through is normal, so me not having some kind of crisis or freakout means that I’m not moving on or processing or whatever.”
Leo was just more confused. “What, does she want you to swear off romance and join a gang of immortal hunters? Wait, do you think the Hunters of Apollo exist?”
Jason shook his head. “No, she just thinks I need to start dating again.”
“Oh.” Leo tried desperately to ignore the feeling of his heart dropping straight through his feet to chill out in the Underworld. He felt kind of shitty admitting it, even to himself, but he’d been glad when Piper and Jason broke up. Mostly because his friends were obviously happier now, and because he wouldn’t be stuck third wheeling, but that wasn’t it. Not entirely, at least. That nasty, selfish little part of him was reveling in the fact that Jason was paying more attention to him. He loved the fact that Jason was single because it meant that Jason directed all that wolfy physical affection at him. When Jason was single, Leo got to be the one who got wrapped up in big, strong arms and pulled tight against Jason’s rumbling barrel chest. He was the one who got to sit right next to Jason at the campfire and be on the receiving end of playful headbuts and that blindingly fond smile. If Jason started dating, Leo wasn’t sure how much of Jason would be left over for him to cling to.
Completely ignorant to Leo’s quickly crumbling world, Jason sighed. “Yeah, it got so bad that I could hardly talk to her about anything else. All she cared about was whether or not I had a boyfriend. So, eventually, I told her I got one.”
“Oh. That’s actually pretty smart,” Leo tried not to wheeze as his world once again swung back on its axis. Jason wasn’t going to start dating any time soon. Hooray! But that still left one question. “What does this have to do with me, though?”
Jason winced. “Uh, yeah. About that.”
Leo once again squinted at Jason suspiciously, back on high alert. “I’m listening.”
“I’ll tell you but you have to promise not to be mad at me. Promise?” Jason said, the words running right up on top of one another he said them so fast. When Leo nodded, he let out a huff. “I may have told Thalia that you were the one I’m dating.”
“Oh.” Leo blinked. That wasn’t nearly so bad as he’d worried it would be. “Uh, I’m not mad or anything, but why me?”
“Who else was I gonna tell her I’d want to date?” Jason scoffed, then winced like he hadn’t meant to say it.
Leo just nodded sagely at him. “That makes sense. I mean you already know basically everything about me, plus we spend a bunch of time together, so it would be easy to convince someone we’re dating.”
For some reason, Jason looked almost disappointed. “Yeah. That’s, um–” he cleared his throat– “that’s the reason.”
“I’m fine with that,” Leo said easily. “Why are you bringing it up now, though? Does Thalia wanna talk to me next time you IM her or something?”
Jason winced. “That’s the thing. You do not have to IM her. She’s, um. Well, she’s coming to visit.”
Leo stared at him. “Your sister Thalia?”
“Yes.”
“She’s coming to Camp?”
“Yeah. Her and the rest of the Hunters.”
“And we have to convince her we’re dating or you’ll be outed as a liar.”
“Pretty much.”
They stared at one another. Then Leo took a deep breath and cleared his throat.
“Well, fuck.”
For all of ADHD’s ups and downs, hyperfocus, especially once he learned to harness its power, was probably one of Leo’s favorite parts. Given the proper motivation, he could completely and totally dedicate all of his time and attention and brain power to just about anything and he was more than happy to use that skill to help his friends. Jason had dragged him into a lie about the two of them dating? Well, Leo was going to be the best damn fake boyfriend in the history of fake boyfriends. Fortunately, it wasn’t exactly difficult to get started. As he’d told Jason, they already spent plenty of time together, and Leo knew Jason like the back of his hand. Better, actually, seeing as his hands were an ever-changing map of various knicks and bruises he’d gotten from his time in the workshop. Plus, acting like he was in love with Jason was… concerningly easy, but he’d been avoiding unpacking that box for months now, so he was more than happy to store it right back on the shelf where it belonged.
Unfortunately, Jason wasn’t nearly as dedicated to their ruse as Leo was, for some reason. If Leo had a hot, scary older sister he looked up to like that, he’s pretty sure he’d rather have afternoon tea with Gaea and Kihone than fess up to lying to her. And yet, here they were. It was less than two days before the Hunters’ arrival, and Jason was acting like talking to Leo about their hypothetical romance was worse than anything Hades could come up with for him in the Fields of Punishment. Which, yanno, didn’t hurt Leo’s feelings. Like, at all. That would be dumb and childish, and Leo wasn’t dumb or childish. Usually.
“Come on, dude, you gotta work with me here,” Leo whined. “We’re running out of time to get this all figured out!”
Jason, who had flushed bright red the moment Leo had brought up the subject and had yet to recover, huffed. “Look, I just don’t get why this specific thing is so important! Why does it matter when I started crushing on you?”
“Because what if Thalia asks?” Leo said for the billionth time. “Jacey baby, we have got to get this story airtight, do you hear me?”
Jason groaned, and rubbed his hand all over his face like that would make his blush go away. It didn’t. “Okay, fine. It was after the Cyclopes fight on our first quest. I thought it was really cool and impressive and I just developed my crush then.”
“Uh, no,” Leo said sternly. “You were dating Piper then. I am not telling people that you were actively crushing on someone else while you were dating my best friend.”
“Okay, well what if we told her part of the reason Piper and I broke up was because I realized I was crushing on you?” Jason suggested. “That way I wasn’t actively crushing on anyone while I was dating Piper. Plus, it’s another good excuse for the break up.”
Leo considered that for a moment and shrugged. “I’ll allow it. Still don’t love that I’m the homewrecker, though”
Jason rolled his eyes. “And what about you? If I have to do this, you do, too. Tell me when you fell in love with me, Valdez.”
Leo felt heat creep up around his ears, but he did his best to ignore it. “Pft, that’s easy. After you and Piper broke up, you started spending more time with me, and things just happened.”
“‘Things?’”
“You know, squishy ‘Ooh, maybe I’m in love with Jason and his stupid, dumb face,’ feelings type things,” Leo huffed, and his face was getting a lot warmer than was probably safe. “Shut up, you know exactly what I mean.”
Jason didn’t seem to care much about the immediate threat to his life, and just leaned in very close to Leo, eyes sparkling and smile wide. “Hmm. I’m afraid I don’t. You should probably tell me more about these ‘maybe you’re in love with me and my stupid, dumb face’ feelings type things.”
“Jason!” Leo chided, his voice pitching very close to a whining register but definitely not getting there fully. “You’re not going to have a stupid, dumb face for me to be in love with if you don’t back up. I’m gonna melt it right off.”
Jason chuckled, but leaned back to restore Leo’s personal space bubble, which Leo was definitely glad about. He was definitely not missing the way he could feel Jason’s breath brushing across his face. That would be… dumb. And stupid. And Leo wasn’t dumb or stupid. Really he wasn’t.
“Okay!” Leo said, probably a lot louder than he needed to, based on Jason’s slight flinch. “So, we also need to talk about physical affection.”
“I’m… pretty sure we’ve got that down, actually,” Jason said, and now his cheeks were getting red again. Ah, sweet, sweet retribution. “I mean, look at us.”
Leo looked down at where he had his legs thrown over Jason’s lap and thought back to the way Jason had been all up in his face with that teasing, taunting grin that might have been flirtatious from someone else. He frowned. “Yeah, but that’s just wolf-stuff. That doesn’t count.”
Jason looked at him like he’d grown a second head. “Wolf-stuff?”
“You know!” Leo waved his hands through the air, trying to make a point. “Like all the headbutting and the physical contact stuff! You’ve got your little wolf-boy instincts, so you’re, like, pack bonding or something.”
Jason frowned at him. “So, you think the reason I hug you and try to be around you is because I spent time with Lupa’s pack?”
“Yes?” Leo said, though he was starting to get the feeling he’d missed something very obvious. “I mean, you do lots of other wolf stuff, right?”
“That’s true,” Jason agreed. “But, Leo, think really hard about it. Do I do any of that stuff with anyone but you?”
“Um, uh, no, I guess not,” Leo stammered, and he felt his heart beginning to pound in his chest. “But-but that’s just because we’re friends. Best friends.”
“You are my best friend,” Jason confirmed, as he leaned in close to Leo’s face, his eyebrows arched in challenge as if daring Leo to tell him to back off. Suddenly, his hand wrapped around Leo’s ankle like a shackle, and Leo wasn’t sure if he could breathe anymore. “Piper is also my best friend. So is Reyna. Nico and Percy are family. Should I be doing this with them, too?”
“No,” Leo said sharply, then his teeth clicked shut and he broke eye contact. He crossed his arms and turned away with a huff. “Okay, fine. I get it. You and I have some weird type of thing going on. I’m a very special boy. I get it.”
“Mhm. And do you know why you’re a very special boy?”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“You’re special because I’ve had a massive crush on you since Piper told me about the Cyclopes fight,” Jason said. “I didn’t realize it for a while, but then I went and watched you blow yourself up to save me from the Fates, and well. Here we are.”
Leo froze and looked at Jason with wide eyes. “What?”
“Yeah.” Jason winced a bit. “I… kind of thought you knew already and didn’t like me back. I figured you were just letting me keep all this up because you were being nice or something.”
“And how the hell was I supposed to know?” Jason’s grip on his ankle tightened and Leo’s face flushed a shade darker. “Oh. Right.”
Jason sighed and released him, flopping back into the grass. “Well, there you go. Now you’ve got the full story to tell Thalia. Congrats. Knowing all this, I totally get it if you’re not really comfortable with lying about this anymore. Just… promise you won’t make a big deal out of it, okay? I don’t want to lose you as a friend over this, okay?”
Leo stared down at his lap where he was twisting his fingers together. He could smell smoke and he definitely knew that his hair was at least a little on fire, but that heat was nothing compared to his cheeks. “I’d, um, I’d still be okay if we told her we were dating.”
Jason actually looked surprised, if a little hesitant. “Oh, uh, thanks man. That’s cool of you.”
“But maybe, um.” Leo cut himself off to clear his throat. “What if we didn’t lie to her about it?”
Jason was completely still for a moment, and Leo thought he’d royally fucked up this time, but Jason sat straight up and got so close that their noses were literally pressed together because Jason Grace had no idea what the words personal and space meant when strung together. His eyes were wide and somehow even bluer this close up and they darted all over Leo’s face like they were looking for some kind of secret clue. “Really?”
“Yes, really!” Leo scowled. “What a dumb question. You’re dumb.”
“Leo, I am beyond serious right now,” Jason said, his tone and face showing just how serious he was. “Do you mean it? Like really mean it?”
Leo’s breath got tangled up on its way in and out of his lungs, so his voice was a lot quieter than normal when he said, “Yeah, I really, really mean it.”
Jason just continued to study him for a moment before his face broke out into a wide, giddy grin, and he giggled. “Okay. Uh, that’s cool.”
“‘Uh, that’s cool,’” Leo mocked in a stupid little voice. “What a dumb thing to say. You’re dumb.”
“Maybe,” Jason agreed, still grinning. “But you wanna date me, so maybe you’re dumb, too.”
Leo wanted to clap his hands to his (quite possibly literally) flaming cheeks, but Jason was still so close that he’d probably wind up backhanding the guy, so Leo blew a raspberry at him instead. Jason wrinkled his nose in disgust, but he didn’t lean away even a little bit, and Leo noticed the way he was staring at his lips. Leo grinned at him. “So. Are you gonna kiss me?”
Jason whole being lit right up at the idea and he looked at Leo like all of his Christmases had come at once. “Can I?”
Leo considered telling Jason that that was a dumb question and he was equally dumb, but he decided his time would be better spent by just grabbing Jason by the ears and kissing him until he was too stupid to say anything else. He kind of forgot that there was still a live flame on top of his head though, so soon Jason was yanking out of his hold with a yelp as they both tried to furiously pat out the fire that had spread to Jason’s hair. When they were safe, Leo curled up in a ball of shame while Jason laughed loud enough for everyone to hear him from the other side of the strawberry fields and wrapped around Leo like an octopus.
Okay, maybe Leo was a little dumb, too.