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English
Series:
Part 20 of FirstPrince
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Published:
2024-07-03
Words:
1,260
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1/1
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would it be enough if i could never give you peace?

Summary:

Burnout was nothing new to Alex. It had happened quite a bit during his high school years, especially during exam season. He still remembers June telling him he has a fire under his ass for no good reason, and, well. She’s right.

He’d been so wrapped up in figuring out this case that now that it’s over, he feels like his head is floating. Like he needs to do something but doesn’t know what.

OR: Alex suffers severe mental burnout after a long case. Henry is there to hold him together.

Notes:

Hi <3

if you follow me on twitter, you know I've been dealing with shit. one of which being severe burnout for weeks now that doesn't seem to go away.

i spit this out in one sitting with minimal edits so pls don't judge too harshly, I just needed some burnt out alex getting comfort from his Henry <3

Fic title is from peace by taylor swift

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Alex should have known it was coming.

The case he’d just finished was one of the most grueling ones he’s ever worked on since becoming a lawyer. A young family had been on the verge of being torn apart via deportation, and Alex and his team were doing whatever they could to keep them together.

It hadn’t been an easy case, but Alex was nothing if not determined.

Two months of 60-hour work weeks. Two months of coming home and collapsing onto the bed, finding comfort in his husband's arms - honestly, the only thing that kept him going at that point.

It had been three days since the judge had made his decision - the family could stay in America, together and be granted their green cards. Watching the family hug each other, tears streaming down their cheeks - it was worth it.

Now that the adrenaline had worn off, however, Alex had found himself barely able to move off of the couch.

Burnout was nothing new to Alex. It had happened quite a bit during his high school years, especially during exam season. He still remembers June telling him he has a fire under his ass for no good reason, and, well. She’s right.

He’d been so wrapped up in figuring out this case that now that it’s over, he feels like his head is floating. Like he needs to do something but doesn’t know what.

Henry, of course, has been an angel through it all. Unlike people in Alex’s past, Henry doesn’t get mad at him when he’s late at work; he either sends him funny memes and pictures of their dog, David, to cheer him up or brings him dinner to ensure he’s eating. Every morning, Alex would wake up to freshly brewed coffee and warm arms to melt into.

Henry, as always, is endlessly patient and loving with him. In this moment, it terrifies Alex.

How the hell can they keep up like this? When Alex is sucked into another case, then another… when will it eventually be too much for Henry to handle?

His stomach grumbles; he doesn’t know what time it is. Hell, he barely knows what day it is at this point, but the thought of moving off of the couch is almost debilitating.

What good is he to anyone if he can’t even eat breakfast? If he can’t get off of the couch? Even grabbing the remote to turn on the television feels like a chore. He should clean, should cook, should do anything… and yet-

“Darling?”

The familiar voice cuts through the ensuing panic in his mind as he blinks up at Henry. The sun seems to be in a different position than earlier - how long has he sitting here?

Henry kneels in front of him now, warm hands cupping Alex’s face. Alex doesn’t even realize he’s crying until he feels them wiped from his cheeks. “Alex, talk to me, love. What’s going on?”

As Alex opens his mouth to speak, words attempting to escape, he finds he’s unable to say any of it. He’s terrified. He’s so goddamn tired.

Instead, he whimpers, leaning forward and allowing Henry to catch him.

As always, Henry does.

“Shh, my darling. You’re alright, I’ve got you.” Strong arms wrap around Alex, the security blanket that has gotten him through the worst of times; the same ones which hold him when he sleeps at night, allowing Alex to hide away from it all. “I’m not going to the shelter today, so you have me here.”

“H-Hen…” Alex trembles in his arms, pressing closer to his husband. “I’m… I don’t k-know what’s wrong with me…”

“You’re burnt out, my love.” His voice is steady, the calm during the storm, the anchor that keeps Alex hanging on. “You’ve been at the end of your rope for weeks. Now that the case is over… you’re feeling all of it.”

“B-But-”

“It’s okay to not be okay, Alex.” Henry’s hand cards through Alex’s curls and Alex can feel himself beginning to relax a little. “This isn’t the first time you’ve overworked yourself, love. And I know how much this case meant to you. Now that it’s over, you don’t have that to focus on, and the last two months are all catching up.”

Alex whines a little and nuzzles into Henry’s hand. “I don’t… don’t want this to happen again. Wh-What if… you get tired of me-”

“Alex.”

“A-And what if I end up not doing enough? Or, or I’m not -”

“ALEX.”

“Henry, I can’t lose you, oh my god-”

He’s cut off by Henry’s lips on his own, successfully cutting off Alex’s panic spiral as he grips Henry’s arms to keep him close. When they part, Henry’s blue eyes are wet with tears.

“Alex Claremont-Diaz-Fox, I love you. I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you in Rio, and I’ve only grown to love you more since then. You’re my soulmate, my love, my husband, and the only man in the world I would ever consider growing old with. Nothing you’ve said or done has ever changed that and nothing you say or do in the future ever will.”

“But… you do s-so much for me, and I -”

“You hold me when the dark days come.” He leans in even closer. “You give me space when I need it and drop everything if I ask for some time alone with you. You chased me down when I ghosted you, and you helped me become a better man. I’m not perfect, Alex. Neither of us are. When one of us is down, the other is there to carry us through."

Henry sighs shakily, love evident in his voice. “Alex, you’ve carried me through so much. Allow me to return the favor.”

A fresh wave of tears spill from Alex’s eyes, this time from the sheer amount of love he feels for this beautiful man. “Henry… I love you. I’m sorry…”

“I love you too, darling. So bloody much.” He kisses Alex’s forehead before resting his own against it. “Which is why I get so worried about you. I love how passionate you are, and I love how deeply you care about the people you work with. But I truly believe, for your sake, that you need to entrust your team with more tasks. You can’t do everything, my love, and that’s alright. But trying to do so much yourself… it’s going to kill you.”

Henry’s right. Of course he’s right.

The thought of being less involved in a case is terrifying, and yet… if it means more time to relax and spend time with Henry? It would be worth it.

Alex exhales slowly, nodding against Henry’s touch. “I know,” he murmurs softly, tucking himself into his husband. “I know. I… I’ll set up a meeting with the team when I’m back next week.”

“Good.” Henry’s thumbs graze his cheeks as he smiles, warmth flooding through Alex’s chest. “For now, let’s forget about work, yes? You need to rest. Let me take care of you, love.”

A soft, slow sigh escapes Alex as he allows himself to give in, lying down on the sofa and closing his eyes. “Te amo, mi vida.”

“Je t'aime aussi, mon amour.”

 

When Alex awakens three hours later, he’s greeted with copious amounts of takeout and David curled on his chest. He finally eats, sneaking David little bites of chicken, and as he falls asleep that night in Henry’s arms, a little bit more of the fog lifts, and he knows that he’ll be okay.

Notes:

sending hugs to every one of you who read this, ily <3

feel free to chat with me on twitter!

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