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He didn't know what to do. He finally understood how he felt about Joe. He finally realized that he didn't want him as Tong's replacement, and now he was gone. Joe disappeared. He disappeared as if he had never existed at all. And no one was able to help him find it.
Ming sank into depression and mourning.
Although no one could even confirm that Joe was dead. Ming felt it. He knew, he knew one person who could confirm it for him, but he was afraid to ask. He was afraid of confirmation.
He sat in silence in Joe's apartment, telling himself he would come back. He strengthened his belief that he just had to turn on the light for him and the man would come back to him.
He found something to do to stay awake during the long winter evenings. Forcing himself to stay awake, he decided to glue their cups together. He bought them. He destroyed them. He had to fix them. He wanted to be able to finally give them to Joe. He wanted a chance to watch happiness bloom on his face when he saw it. Just like it had been since shopping when he first saw them.
Joe was sweet and too innocent for Ming. He didn't know, he didn't expect that he could destroy him so easily. He couldn't even say he didn't want it. He wanted to destroy it. He wanted to smash who he was before into pieces. He wanted to rebuild him, shape him into the kind of man Ming wanted to have around him. But it was supposed to be Joe. It was always going to be him.
No matter how absurd it sounded, even to himself. It was supposed to be Joe. It had to be him.
Ming waited for his return. Days, weeks, months... He waited for him, turning on the light every evening, cooking dinner and waiting for him. Just waiting.
When the sun was rising, he poured the soup into the sink. He washed his tearful face and went to bed. He waited for him, night after night. Not even allowing himself to close his eyes for a moment. He had to wait for him, it was his duty. He promised him this. And he intended to at least fulfill this promise.
Months passed and the seasons blended into one incomprehensible mass for him. Day or night. Summer or winter. Nothing mattered to him anymore. He didn't know how much time had passed since he last saw him.
That's when he made his decision.
He couldn't wait any longer.
Joe made him wait too long. He couldn't wait for him anymore. He had to join him.
Ming may have looked like an innocent rich boy to most, but Ming also had a dark side. How anyone who has more money than they will ever be able to spend in their lifetime will be able to spend it. Ming had a gun. He took it out of his travel bag, which he had been carrying for a long time. He aimed for his heart. He shot.
Darkness surrounded him on all sides, and when he opened his eyes he was in the same bed again. This time Joe was lying next to him. The man slept peacefully.
Ming looked around.
The apartment had hardly changed at all, but he could see some slight differences. Their pillowcases were gone. Their cups were gone, which he taped and set aside on a side cabinet in the kitchen. He didn't see his favorite dark green bowl that Joe had bought for him. He saw no evidence that they were ever together.
Ming moved slowly, reaching for his phone on the nightstand.
He didn't have to untangle himself from Joe's arms, he didn't hug him like a koala, which he often did in his sleep. They lay on opposite sides of the bed, at a distance that strangers would sleep at.
Ming looked at the date on his phone.
The day he returned to Thailand. The day he met Joe and then fucked him for the first time. The day he took his virginity and he didn't care at all.
He fell onto the bed with no strength in his muscles. He tried to understand what had just happened.
Died. He was sure of it, he had great aim, he knew where to aim to kill himself, especially since no one could find his wounded body before sunrise. No one was there to help him. So he died and came back to life, at a time when he had not yet managed to destroy Joe's life.
He sighed contentedly, mentally thanking the Gods.
He wanted to reach for Joe's sleeping form. However, this time he decided to do it the way it should be done. In the right order. He already knew that Joe would love him, even if he only gave him a minimum of attention and affection. This time, however, he was going to give him everything. Everything he deserved and he was definitely going to protect him. Before the world. Before Sol. Before Tong. From everything that could harm or hurt him. From this day forward, Ming will be his shield.
He went back to sleep. In the morning they ate breakfast together. Joe drove him to his parents' house. They said goodbye. Ming had already planned to return to the set that day. If he remembered correctly, today Joe was filming the pool scene behind Tong. He was hot, he wanted to see it again.
Ming follows a very similar path to the first time. His attention was simply focused solely on Joe, not Tong, not anyone else. He had a goal and he was going to stick to it.
When Ming goes to sleep in his bed that night, he has a plan in mind.
He plans that the next day he will invite Joe for coffee, they will go to his favorite coffee shop and Ming will order him a large piece of chocolate cake, and then they will just go for a walk and Ming will ask Joe about his life and he will listen. He will give him as much attention as Joe needs. He will give him as much protection as he can afford.
~
Ming wakes up. He looks around. He definitely didn't go to sleep in this place. He was at Joe's apartment again. On the bed, next to him, but far enough away so that they wouldn't accidentally touch each other while sleeping, lay Joe. He was sleeping. With trembling hands, Ming reached for the phone lying on the nightstand.
Again. The date was the same as yesterday. It was the day he returned to Thailand again. The day he met Joe. The first time he slept in his bed.
Ming is confused. But he focuses. He smiles at Joe, even more flirtatious than before. They end up having sex after breakfast. Ming lets Joe drive him back to his apartment, which causes him to be late for the set. Ming doesn't join him, he's already seen it twice, he knows what will happen there. He goes somewhere else, follows a different path. He's looking for other details.
When the day is over, he doesn't go to sleep. He sits in his room, watching the moon and the clock. At exactly midnight, he opens her eyes again in Joe's bed.
Ming looks for different solutions. He talks to different people.
He is flirtatious with Joe. Other times he is cold.
He visits Tong. He talks to May.
He goes to the set. He doesn't go to the set.
He interrupts the set.
He loses consciousness and ends up in the hospital.
He talks to his father and is locked in his room.
He talks to P'Wut. He talks to Sol.
He kisses Joe in front of everyone.
He Fucks Joe. He has sex with Joe.
He is kissing Joe.
He gets fucked by Joe.
He spends the day with Joe.
He discovers the truth about Joe.
He falls in love with Joe.
He can't forget about Joe.
He sees Joe.
He eats Joe.
Everything tastes like Joe.
Joe
Joe
Joe
Joe
Ming doesn't count the times he opens his eyes in Joe's bed.
It stopped around three hundred. He already knows everything about Joe, his life, his job and his friends. He already knows everything that only a living man can discover in twenty-four hours. He had already done everything he could do in one day. The day he was imprisoned.
He killed himself fifteen times.
He had sex with Joe for the first time over three hundred times.
He gave himself to Joe over a hundred times. He still thought it was a strange feeling, but for Joe? He could do it for him. For him, he could do it forever, only this way. He would learn to enjoy it. He would learn. For him.
He killed Tong over five hundred times. It was more satisfying each time. Even that one time when he decided to kill him with a book. It was satisfying, even if there was blood everywhere and Ming ended up in a mental institution. At midnight he returned to Joe anyway. To his bed.
He learned the truth about Tong's back around the hundredth loop, and from then on he couldn't look at Joe the same way. From that moment on he knew. It's in him. It was his back that he fell in love with like a fool.
Ming stretched again, getting more comfortable on the bed. He really didn't know what he had to do to get out of this loop. It seemed to him that he had already done everything.
He had breakfast with Joe again. He smiled at him again. He wanted to do it calmly this time. They held hands as they walked down to the car. Ming told Joe that he was afraid of heights. Joe was always so sweet and gullible. Ming asked for Joe's phone number, which he quickly and smilingly gave him. He took him back to his parents' house. Ming thanked him. He quickly put down his suitcase, freshened up and changed his clothes. He had a plan to implement.
He went to the film set. He smiled widely when he saw Joe there. The man responded in kind. They met halfway.
- Ming, what are you doing here?
- P'Joe...
He looked around.
- I'm watching?
He replied, trying to put a sweet and innocent look on his face. Joe's smile widened. Ming knew he had succeeded. Joe led him towards the director. He introduced him. The man recognized Ming. He knew who he was, he recognized his name in every loop without any problem. Not like Joe. His Joe was too innocent and gullible to look for the other side, even if he noticed people's eyes following them. He didn't think about it. He just ignored it.
Ming grabbed his hand before Joe went to film his scene.
- Let's have dinner together today.?
He said, he tried to ask, but it came out more like an order. It didn't change the expression on his face or the energy pulsing through Joe. He was happy and easily agreed to Ming's suggestion.
After the day of shooting, they went out together. This time Ming was driving the car. He took Joe to a mid-range restaurant. He remembered that his favorite expensive, multi-star restaurants always made Joe shut up, completely unaccustomed to being in such a place. Small restaurants and even street stalls where nice aunties sold home-made food always brought a genuine smile to his face and comments that he never expected Ming to even know such a place. He didn't know. He had only been there since the loops started. He tried everything. Every option available to him.
They sat down in the quiet interior. There were no waiters there. Everyone had to order their own food or wait until their aunt had time to approach them and talk to them. Ming wanted to wait, but Joe felt awkward. So he went to the kitchen window, asking for a sample of everything they had. The woman smiled at him and replied that he would approach them in a moment.
They sat quietly. They ate food and talked about life. Ming already knew all these stories. But he didn't stop. He learned to like listening to Joe.
After the meal, they simply went for a walk. They drank late night coffee and held hands.
They ended up in Joe's bed. It would soon be midnight.
Ming wrapped his arms around Joe, nuzzling his face into his neck. He didn't want to make love today. He just wanted to fall asleep in his arms.
When Ming opened his eyes again, everything was exactly as he remembered it from the previous hundreds and thousands of time loops. With one small difference. Joe slept in his arms. They hugged each other like they had in no time loop before.
Ming reached for the phone, lying as always on the nightstand next to the bed.
The day was different.
He didn't come back in time again.
Time passed.
Ming hugged Joe's sleeping form even tighter to himself. He placed a soft, sweet kiss on his forehead.
He didn't know what happened or how he finally managed to break free from the time loop, but here he was in the future. He could finally continue rather than start over.
He could barely hold back the tears that wanted to flow from his eyes.
He made it.
He could love Joe.
He could build a future with him, not get stuck on their first day together.
- I love you.
He whispered in Joe's ear. Fortunately, the man was a sound sleeper. He didn't know how to explain to him that he fell in love with him after just one day of knowing him. Well, one day from Joe's perspective. He fell in love thousands of times, on the first day, from his perspective.