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“Silver!”
Kalim’s fingers wrapped around the back of his collar before he could topple forward down the stairs. Silver's eyes snapped open, and he let out a strangled gasp as Kalim used his other hand to firmly pull his arm to the bannister.
“That was close, huh?” He chuckled with relief, breathing heavy. “Sorry for throttling you there, better than the alternative right? …Silver?” His smile faltered. “Are you crying?”
He ran down the next few stairs and whipped around to face his startled friend. His left hand connected with the bannister, perhaps a meter from Silver’s, which was clasped white-knuckled around the polished wood. His right gripped the plush of his cardigan over his heart.
“I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you! Are you breathing okay? Do you need to sit down?”
Silver screwed his eyes closed, and his shoulders trembled with shuddering breaths. After a few seconds of panting, his bottom lip trembled and he choked up. The dam broke, and he began to cry audibly.
“Silver, I’m sorry! Please don’t cry! Here, come-” Kalim unhooked his vice grip from the handrail and guided him back up the top few stairs. “Come with me, let’s get you somewhere quiet,”
The corridor was mercifully empty, though Kalim decided not to gamble on it. He ushered his friend into an empty classroom and sat him on the end of a bench. He perched himself up on the desk beside him and hovered a hand above his shoulder in indecision for a moment. Kalim pulled his hand away and rested them on his lap. He covered the window on the door and locked it with his pen, then lowered the light a little to create a more soothing atmosphere. Kalim trusted the crepuscular ambiance to embrace Silver better than he could right now.
“My fault,” gasped Silver. “It’s my fault-”
“It’s not your fault! I shouldn’t have grabbed you so harshly!”
Silver shook his head rapidly, crying to the point of hyperventilating. “I should have- Should have tried harder!-”
“…Tried harder?”
“I can’t- I keep messing it all up!” Silver sobbed, burying his face into his worn hands.
“Messing what up? Everything’s okay, right? Nothing bad happened! That wasn’t your fault!” Kalim removed his cardigan and anxiously draped it over his friend's lap. “How could that have been your fault?”
“You could’ve fallen…”
“You could’ve fallen,”
Silver shivered and looked down. “I should have gone to bed earlier… I shouldn’t have gone down the stairs in the first place,” His voice rose in pitch and volume. “I’m just lazy , Kalim! I’m not trying hard enough to stay awake! Maybe if I’d gone to bed earlier, and- and avoided training, and eaten less-”
“Silver, stop it. That’s not healthy,” Kalim interjected, a little firmer than he meant to. “You shouldn’t deprive yourself of anything important on the off chance you could get tired,” He wrung his hands, suddenly feeling stricken with guilt. “I think… I owe you an apology,”
“What?”
“No, no- I do owe you an apology. A big one. After winter break I promised myself I would never be so blind to a friend struggling right in front of me again, but I am. …Have been ,” He took a shaky breath, and swallowed a growing lump in his throat. “You struggle a lot . And a lot of people make it feel like it’s your fault, but it isn’t . And I haven’t been helping you as much as I could have. I’m sorry, Sil,”
Silver nodded silently, finally beginning to calm down, even if only a little bit.
“-I’m going to visit the guidance councillor. And the disabilities office. I’m going to get you some long overdue support. One of my dorm mates has a little recording thingy so that he can listen to lectures whenever he needs to. Maybe we could get you one of those? And I’m going to stick up for you more too! It makes me so mad when Crewel snaps at you like he does! And- And I’ll-”
“Kalim, I appreciate it. I really do. But I don’t need any help. No doctor has ever found anything wrong with me. This is really a problem that I should be facing alone,”
“No it isn’t! You don’t need to know what the problem is to know that there is a problem! Silver, please let me help you! I don’t– I don’t like feeling helpless…” His voice cracked slightly. “I don’t like when you’re feeling helpless either,”
“It wouldn’t be fair for me to-”
“It’s not unfair, Silver, it’s equity. It’s to level the playing field. You should be fighting on your terms, or whatever it is you do in your training,”
Silver considered his words momentarily. “It’s not fair on you for me to be depending on you in situations like that,”
“You’re my friend. I don’t mind helping you. I like helping you. I’ll help you however and whenever I can,”
Another silence descended upon the near-empty classroom. Kalim hoped that this was due to his companions' stoic nature, and not an overstep.
“How does the recorder work?”
“It records the lecture then uploads it onto his laptop! And he can bookmark and take notes on key points. It is a paid program... And you’ll need a laptop. But I can cover that! In fact, I’ll come with you to the support meeting, and we’ll go shopping for whatever aids you need together!” His voice trailed off at the other expression. Kalim smiled awkwardly. “...Or we could see if the department has a simple audio recorder for you to borrow?”
“...I’d like that,”
“Okay! Let’s do that, then!” He hopped down from the desk and took back his cardigan. “Can I give you a hug?”
Silver nodded, and allowed his friend to pull him into a brief, yet surprisingly tight embrace. The classroom returns to how they had left it.
Approaching the staircase again, Silver hesitated, suddenly anxious. His left hand met the wood of the handrail yet again. His right slowly raised to his side.
“Kalim? Can I hold your arm? Just for this flight of stairs?”
“Sure, Sil. I’d like that,”