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He pauses before killing her and it is a far worse thing than feeling a blade sink into flesh. It means she has to keep fighting, keeping buying her world time, and she is so tired. They’ve been battling for what seems like days, flashing through the Crossroads, eluvians shattering and buckling in their wake, but she is no immortal god. She is fleeting and brilliant. Doomed.
She cannot give up and she cannot win this either. She tries anyways.
“Let me find another way.” She’s said it so many times the words have lost their meaning and she knows what he will always say next. There is none.
But he doesn’t this time and the silence makes her look up. He holds her tight by the shoulder even though his magic traps her in place. They both know if he lets go she will not hesitate. They’ve been doing their best to save each other by killing each other for too long. She expects to see him sullen, defeated even in victory, but no.
He is angry.
“Why could you not have listened to me? I do not want this! I begged you to find happiness with the time given.” He sags closer, armored fingers digging into her shoulder and she’s pretty sure it should hurt, but she can only concentrate on the violet bursts in his eyes.
And then, for a moment, they are back to the before. She does not see the wreckage of their futile war or feel the blood soaking through her clothes and leaving her veins. She sees the sun cradled in the cleft of the mountains, feels his surrendering kiss wrap around her heart.
She reaches up to touch his face, to smooth the crease from his brow like so many times before. “Being with you has always been my happiness.”
He tries to crumple against her at the confession, but she holds him back with what little strength is left in her unworthy bones. It’s time they both faced truths head on. Because she knows the only way she will die gracefully is by the hands of someone who made her alive.
“Kiss me.”
And he does, long and hard.
“Kill me.”
And he does, quick and soft.