Chapter Text
“I’m not letting you, bitch! Let’s go!”
Stolas could feel the hot tears spilling over, his chin quivering, losing any of the composure he’d maintained thus far. In all of the doomed scenarios that had been tormenting him ever since the Asmodean crystal had shown up, Blitz screaming at him had somehow never factored into it. He looked over his shoulder, taking in Blitz’s angry face. “I think so highly of you, I didn’t know you think so low of me.”
Blitz’s expression dropped as though Stolas had dropped a bucket of cold water on him. He saw tears on the other’s cheeks. Tears of rage, surely. “Stolas, I’m...”
Frustration and hurt swelled in Stolas’s chest. How could Blitz... Stolas whirled around to fully face him. “So stuck on our positions that you failed to even look past your own preconceived notions about me!” His voice shook, despite his best efforts. “Let me tell you what I’ve been through. I am trapped here! Been locked away ever since I was a child because of my powers. I am not me to anyone, I am merely a vessel that can discover prophecies. I never even got a choice but to be that! You! You were able, and capable, of choosing when your world fell apart! I may not know the specifics because you never opened up to me, but Blitz... I admire so much that you built something rather than wallow in misery like so much of Hell!”
He took a breath and continued. “You got to choose what you would endure. My fate was decided as soon as I showed a hint of magic. Do you think my father ever showed me an ounce of emotion? Good or bad? He always had to ask which son I was!”
Blitz was still staring at him, his fists clenched at his sides, but his shoulders drooping and tail wrapping itself protectively around his legs. He didn’t speak. Stolas felt words bubbling up out of his chest. May as well finish ripping his heart out through the gash Blitz had opened. “My training kept me apart from others and I was so hopelessly awkward that my peers avoided me. I’d never even touched another being with attempted affection until I was married to Stella! I was terrified of her and she had no softness for me. She never let me forget what a disappointment I was to her. I tried my best but I gave up when I realized I was the only one putting any effort in. I was going to endure until Via grew up and then...” He threw up his hands and then wrapped them around himself.
“I suppose it would be the stars, my plants, my books, and crushing loneliness until I either blew like a supernova or collapsed like a black hole. When you showed up you knocked me off that inevitable trajectory and...” His emotions threatened to choke him. “And I put way too much hope and pressure on this...” Stolas let himself sink to the floor, pulling his cloak tight around him. The sobs that he’d been holding back flowed without restraint. It was the only sound in the room, echoing off the walls drenched in the red light of the full moon. He pulled is legs to his chest and pressed his face into them, arms crossed over his knees. He was certain that Blitz must have left. Left him alone in the gilded cage he couldn’t escape.
The warmth of a body beside him caused him to look up. Blitz had sat down beside him not quite touching, mirroring his posture. He sat cross-legged and leaning forward. He opened his mouth to say something several times and then seemed to rethink it. “I was your first?” mumbled Blitz.
Stolas watched him for a moment, rubbing the tears off his feathered cheek. “I... I... suppose you were the first person who actually wanted me even if it was just for use of my grimoire.”
Blitz shook his head. “It stopped being just about your book a long time ago. I mean, I still needed it, but...” Blitz tensed. “I’m no good with this feelings bullshit. I... I wanted you every time after that first time... I meant for that to be a twenty minute pity fuck tops... but you were so much fun. I figured I might as well enjoy it since it wasn’t ever going to happen again.”
“That night meant the world to me, even if it meant nothing to you.” Stolas buried his face back in his arms. A nasty mix of sadness and humiliation stirred in his chest.
“No, shit, it did... I... I’m no good Stolas. The last time I tried to have something more than fucking it went to shit. I burned that bridge good. She still hasn’t forgiven me and... fuck, I’m just a bastard, Stolas. You deserve someone better than your ex-wife, someone better than me. You should have someone who sends you good morning texts with heart emojis and brings you flowers. I’m not that guy. You need romance. I’m just a mind-blowing fuck.”
Blitz was staring at the floor now, his hands sitting loose in his lap. Stolas looked at him, tears still pooling in his eyes. Blitz had that wounded look in his eyes that Stolas had only seen glimpses of when Blitz thought he wasn’t looking.
Stolas looked away, brushing a claw over the ballroom floor. His talon caught on slight imperfections that were made over time, no matter how often it was waxed and cleaned. “Then why...” Stolas summoned up what courage he had left. “Then why are you still here? You have the crystal, you don’t need me anymore. You chased after me... are you trying to stop me from getting on that train?”
“People only make those big declarations in books and movies.”
“That’s the only love I’ve ever been able to get close to... what I hoped I would have someday.” He looked up when he felt warm fingers around his wrist. Blitz’s grip was gentle, Stolas could pull away if he wanted.
“Do you want me to stay because I’m me, or because I was the first person who gave a damn?” Blitz had his eyes squeezed shut, his face half hidden by his other hand. Stolas blinked. The question felt like a minefield, any careless movement leading to irreparable damage. His immediate instinct was to proclaim that of course it was because Blitz was who he was. Then the second half of the question sank in.
“You,” Stolas reached out to place his hand on top of the one holding his wrist. “You give a damn about me?”
Blitz dropped the hand covering his face and stared at the floor. “I told myself I didn’t.”
“And now?” Stolas felt a little stirring of hope surging forward.
“Shit... Stolas, I’m still here.”
“And what does that mean?”
“I...” Blitz wore a pained expression. His tail lashed on the floor behind him with nerves. “I don’t want the deal to end. I want to see you. I need some time to figure out what happens next.”
Stolas leaned over, resting his head on Blitz’s horns. Blitz leaned closer, letting Stolas hold his hand. “Take your time, sweetheart.”
“I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to this.”
“Neither do I, dearest. Maybe we can figure it out together?”
“There’s gonna be consequences.”
“Cause and effect is one of the laws of the universe, but we don’t have to worry about them tonight.”
“I know I said no last time... but is cuddling still on offer?” Blitz’s face turned gray with his blush. Stolas nearly sagged with relief.
“Yes.”
“And if it leads to trying out some of the fun things in the bag?”
“Blitzy...”
“Fine. I promise no funny business from my end as long as you don’t get too handsy.” Blitz stood up and pulled Stolas to his feet. “Do we have a deal?”
Hope flared even brighter in Stolas’s chest.
“Yes, Blitzy, it’s a deal.”