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The Coon and friends have been busy working on their new strategy to defeat the town's new villain attacking their territory. In all this hurry Human Kite has been working closely with their leader and his “boss” The Coon. Two of them are meeting privately in The Coons basement. Human Kite (Kyle) is waiting for The Coon(Cartman)to arrive.
Kyle walks nervously around tapping his fingers together.
He thinks to himself “Damn it,where the hell is that fatass?”
Suddenly the door slams open and The Coon stomps in angrily.
Kyle stands his way and lashes on him yelling angrily”Just where the hell have you been?”
Cartman puts something in his pocket quick before Human Kite notices ,sighs and rolls his eyes angrily answering shortly “Just taking care of some business for our next attack”
Kyle holds his hands on his hood and pulls it angrily, grinding his teeth. He blurts out “Well? Shall we get to work then? I been waiting here all evening”
Cartman sighs and puts his hand on Kyle´s shoulder trying to calm him he answers”Hey look Kite,how about we take it easy today okay,it's been a hard week,let's just work on some of our maps”
Kyle snaps at this and gets angrily closer to Cartman now even angrier than before he yells”Easy? WHat the hell did you need me here for then? I'm not your pet to wait around! I got better things to do! You,you fucking-”
Kyle ́ 's anger is interrupted because he loses his feet,he didn't notice in his burst of anger how he had stumbled on a loose brick on the basement floor,Kyle trips over the brick on top of Cartman pushing two of them on the ground.
A moment of silence,both are confused about what has happened. Dim-lighted room,awkward silence,two bodies close to each other in unexpected situation. Kyle feels his hands have sank onto something soft,that is Cartman´s rather plushie shaped figure.
Noticing this Kyle stutters “I-I…sorry I-” he tries to move his hands away but they just keep sinking further to Cartman's stomach since his own weight is pressing him more onto Cartman.Trying to get his hands away helplessly sinking.The situation reminds of a little kitten kneading on a big blanket,expect Cartman is the blanket and Kyle is the kitten and both are beet-red.
Kyle blushes and moves his hands around nervously, very frustrated. Kyle´s hands seem to just work on their own and keep sinking.
Kyle is trying really hard to concentrate all he can think of how soft Cartman feels and how warm he is. It is unclear what Cartman feels about this since the two are not in eye contact.
The tension is in the air, a weird kind of aura radiates on the basement floor.Two figures, a large plushy one on the ground and a much smaller figure on top of it. Kyle can hear his heart beating faster and faster,feeling it in his ears. Awkwardly this moment just keeps getting longer and longer.Cartman is silent and covers his face. He doesn't face Kyle,Kyle is too busy trying to get himself off this situation to even look Cartman´s way. Suddenly Cartman grabs Kyle´s arm and pushes Kyle off him so the awkward situation finally ends.
Kyle´s eyes finally meet Cartman´s for a brief second but still catches a beet red expression on Cartman's face. Cartman now faces Kyle with his back so you can´t see his expression,hiding away how he feels about what just happened,he had been silent for the whole time.
Kyle can't catch his breath, he is frustrated thinking what to say or if to even mention it, he can't tell if Cartman is angry or just neutral about what happened.
Suddenly Cartman coughs awkwardly still facing the backside and
says “Be more careful Human Kite,look where you're going,you hot head.”
Kyle feels embarrassed and apologizes shortly “Sorry”,he is nervously moving his hand from palm to palm. He feels bad for causing this situation,it's after all for his short-temper.
He steps closer to Cartman and stutters “I didn't mean to..k…knead..on..on…your…s-stom.-”
Cartman turns around and interrupts him angrily yelling “It's fine” his face is beet red.
Kyle is confused by this but finds his expression unusual and interesting.
He asks, a bit irritated, “Well what?” He steps closer to inspect Cartman's face. Cartman steps back. There is something he clearly isn't telling him since the silence continues. He raises his voice facing Cartman demanding “You can just fucking tell me”
Cartman steps back and covers his face looking away yelling “Na hah,Id rather die.”
Kyle gets angry”“Well fuck it!” he grabs Cartman´s wrist and yells” What now? Speak!” . Moments later behind the hands he reveals Cartman with his (racoon)ears down looking like a sad wet rat,blushing and looking like he is about to cry.
Kyle´s face is confused “What the fuck?” he says quietly and lets go of his grip and stands a few steps back.
Cartman finally meets his eyes still red,but a bit less,he sighs sadly and says ”I guess now you know”
Kyle, now even more confused, gets a bit irritated,he is tired of these weird mind games, Cartman has been acting weird all night.
He says “Know what? You've been acting all weird tonight!” he steps angrily closer “I'm tired of your mind games! We are partners,just speak to me-”
Cartman grabs his shoulders,shakes him and yells “Do I have to spell it out for you! I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!” Cartman realizing what he said steps back looking defeated,he says quietly looking sad “Now you know,you can leave if you like”. Cartman turns his back to Kyle.
Kyle´s face flushes and he is quiet for a moment then he steps closer to Cartman and says calmly “You silly” he puts his hands around Cartman(or as far as they can reach) he closes his eyes and continues
” I was the one who wanted to say it first.” he pauses “I've been in love with you for a long time now”.
Cartman puts his hand in his pocket and hands Kyle a crumbled note still not facing him,there's nothing but scribbled out words there but the only thing you can read between the lines is “Kyle is the one I love.”
Kyle reads his notes and smiles,he squeezes Cartman even harder than before and whispers”I'm glad I'm the one you chose”.
Cartman´s eyes fill with little tears,he wipes them with his sleeve ,grabs Kyle´s arms and turns around facing him while holding his hands.
Cartman asks softly “Really? After all this time,you-” he pauses, Kyle smiles awkwardly and blushes and nods.
Cartman smiles and nods and replies softly “Me too,I love you Human Kite, I mean I love you Kyle”
Kyle squishes his hand a little stronger to gather confidence and says finally “I love you fatas- I mean Coon- I mean Cartman” he coughs awkwardly “I love you Eric” . Kyle gets on his tiptoes,closes his eyes and reaches for a kiss. They kiss in a dimly lit basement for the first time. The kiss was short but sweet.
Both smile,now Kyle looks at Cartman and asks a question that had been bothering him “So…Was that what you were so embarrassed of before?”
Cartman nods and says awkwardly “Yes, I mean-” he pauses and looks away blushing. Kyle´s eyes fill with curiosity and he meets his eyes with Cartman´s making a smug face he asks “Well? Do I have to shake it out of you too?”
Cartman blushes and tries to say something “Kh-” but his words won't just come out.
Kyle´s face fills with smugness and his hands slowly move away from Cartman's palms towards his sides and stomach,Kyle tickles Cartman. Cartman laughs and so does Kyle,Kyle face full with smugness asks “Well Well?” Cartman laughs “Gah-Stop Haha -You're killing me”
Kyle tickles him even more ,Cartman answers “Okey Fine fine”
Kyle stops and waits patiently,like a curious kitten.
Cartman continues and blushes “Its that,earlier when you fell on me-”
Kyle shakes his hands and yells “Yeah no no no need for that-”
Cartman interrupts him and raises his voice “Your hands were..touch- kneading on me,they felt kinda nice….” he looks at Kyle ,both blushing and looking away.
Cartman looks at Kyle and touches his face,Kyle's eyes look up at him blushing softly as Cartman continues “You looked like a kitten,and it felt nice being t…to…touched by you,touched by an angel”
Kyle puts his hand behind his head and blushes stuttering”I.. If you liked it… I could… d..d do it again” he mumbles looking down “only if you want to. “
Cartman looks at him blushing his ears down and racoon tail wagging he says shyly”Yes, please. “
Kyle gets closer and slowly moves his hands on his stomach.Cartman closes his eyes and waits nervously. Kyle´s hands sink into his plushy stomach. Kyle moves his hands around getting redder and redder. He stares at his hands and thinks to himself “God this fat ass really feels like a plush pillow “
Suddenly Cartman clearly enjoying himself like a spoiled pet gets on his back.He now lays on his back like some sort of pet expecting for belly rubs. Which he shall receive. Kyle can´t resist such an adorable and soft sight.
Cartman with his hands on his chest and eyes closed really looks like a racoon. You can hear a soft purring…or is it that snoring?
“Hey!” yells Kyle,he shakes Cartman asking “Cartman? “all he can hear is snoring. Kyle removes his hands and mumbles to himself “Tsk that fat ass really fell asleep. Just when I was-”
He stops his thoughts and looks at Cartman sleeping peacefully. Kyle pets his head and rubs him behind the ear. He looks at him lovingly blushing and mumbling something.
“Oh you “ he shoulder pumps Cartman finally and puts his head against his stomach using it as a pillow. Soon he also falls asleep. A Kite and racoon sleeping peacefully next to each other as the sun sets on another day excited and worried about what tomorrow awaits the freshly confessed lovers.
