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The Circus’ manufactured weather had taken a turn for the worse, and while thunder shook the tent, Ragatha ambled about. Today’s adventure was ‘Ghost In The Graveyard’, which would have been fine if Caine hadn’t chosen Pomni to be the ghost. The girl had vanished before the others could close their eyes to count, and now what should have been a simple game was now a manhunt. Four hours had passed and there was still no sign of Pomni.
This was the worst possible choice Caine could have made to make Pomni feel more included. The others had abandoned the search one by one, until only Ragatha was left to search. Pomni was more flighty than Jax and more anxious than Gangle. She desperately needed space that the well-meaning but bumbling AI hadn’t given her. Because she was the newbie, Caine was eager to have her participate in every adventure. Thankfully, they had all convinced him to give them a ‘day off’ with an in-house adventure with no bells and whistles. No gimmicks, no NPCs. Not after last time.
Ragatha wanted to know where Pomni was isolating herself. She didn’t trust the girl to be safe on her own, where she could stumble into one of the many doors in the tent or wander out into the Void again. Ragatha grunted and rubbed the side of her head. She’d checked all the doors that could safely be entered, and there was still no sign of Pomni. Could she have gone outside?
It was more likely that Pomni was avoiding Ragatha by changing her hiding spot every time she came close to being found. Her suspicion was proved right when she heard the familiar squeak of shoes against linoleum. She followed the sound to the stage, and saw the curtains move. Pomni lifted the curtains from the bottom and crawled out, only to freeze when she saw Ragatha watching her.
“Pomni! There you are.” Ragatha started for the stage, only for Pomni to make a break for it. She darted across the stage, leapt right over Ragatha’s outstretched arms, and kept going. Before Ragatha could even tell her to stop, she was already halfway across the tent with no sign of stopping.
This was typical behavior for new circus members, but in Pomni’s case, Ragatha could tell that the girl had a skittish personality. In moments of calm, Pomni kept to herself and shrank away from attempts at socializing, whether it was Jax’s teasing or Gangle’s invitations to draw. She stayed at the edge of the group the way a mouse would hug the wall. Now she was fleeing the scene like a startled rabbit.
Ragatha sighed and went after her. She didn’t remember what she did before coming here, but she was more athletic than her plush, petite frame let on. Pomni was fast, but Ragatha easily kept up with her. She took no pleasure in scaring her like this, and she hoped that Pomni would understand that it was just a game.
The jester’s shoes squeaked against the floor with each frantic step. She hopped over a pile of blocks and scrambled up a slide on all fours. It was almost impressive how naturally she climbed and ran over these obstacles, if it didn’t make Ragatha’s job harder. She wasn’t good at gymnastics in a leotard, let alone the ankle-length skirt she was running in. Ragatha wove around the toys and play equipment, and to her frustration, Pomni was now getting further ahead.
“Wait for me!” she cried in desperation. Pomni looked over her shoulder and hesitated, but when she saw Ragatha hold out a hand, she doubled in speed. Ragatha groaned and tried calling out again.
“I just need to tag you so the adventure can end!” Ragatha slowed down when she saw Pomni skid to a halt. The girls were now out in the open. Ragatha stopped a few meters away from her and offered her arms once more.
“Come here. It’s okay.” Ragatha smiled and wagged her hands. Pomni started forward. Her pinwheel eyes had become black squiggles, and her lips were parted to show off her sharp, straight fangs. She looked a hair’s breadth away from having a nervous breakdown, which made Ragatha nervous. For all she knew, Pomni was going to abstract. New arrivals were at the most risk. After their first month, they calmed down, but Pomni had only been here for a week or so. Her first day was disastrous, and it hadn’t got much better from there.
That was why Ragatha stood still and allowed Pomni to approach on her own terms. She was so focused on keeping her calm that she didn’t notice Jax sneaking up on them.
“Gotcha!” Jax slapped his gloved hands onto Pomni’s shoulders. “Now we can finally end this stupid adventure.”
Ragatha knew that, for once, Jax wasn’t trying to be malicious. Any of the other circus members would’ve tagged Pomni just so Caine would give them their reward faster. Ragatha had known Jax for years. He was an open book, and she knew when the page was flipped to his immature desires to violence and bloodshed. This wasn’t it.
Pomni reacted to Jax’s hands like she was being electrocuted. At the sound of her scream, Jax’s ears flattened against his head, and he sprang away from her with a yelp. Pomni turned and struck him, sending him stumbling away before Ragatha could yell at them to stop.
“Oh, no, wait a minute!” Ragatha fretted and held out her hands. Her moment of hesitation gave Pomni time to grab Jax by his overall straps and shove him over. Ragatha thought that she was going to pounce him, but Pomni turned and ran while everyone was caught off guard. Her little legs carried her the rest of the way across the tent, and into one of the many doors lining the walls.
On the floor, Jax grunted and rolled onto his stomach. “What’s her problem? I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Sorry!” Ragatha yelled to him as she took off after the other girl.
She only wanted to help. She didn’t want Pomni to be alone. Ragatha didn’t want to be alone. It was just her luck that when she followed her through the door, there was no one to be seen. She stepped out into a humid summer night, where the only lights came from low-poly lampposts at even intervals along the highway. Ragatha’s fabric crawled from how warm it was. The Circus ran cold. Pomni was sure to be uncomfortable in here.
However, the rooms in the Circus were only so big. She walked along the dirt road for some time, until she she reached the end of the map. There, Pomni was sitting on the ground, facing away from Ragatha. Her shoulders were slumped, and even the tails of her hat were wilted. She looked smaller than usual, and when Ragatha got closer, she realized it was because she had shrunk. Normally, Pomni came up to Ragatha’s shoulder, but if she stood up now, she would be lucky to come up to Ragatha’s chest.
“Pomnie? Sweetie…?” She kept her distance. Pomni was already distressed enough without Ragatha crowding her.
Pomni squeezed her hat. “I told you…” She whirled around with tears in her eyes. “I told you not to treat me like a kid! Leave me alone!”
Pomni glowered at her, but seeing as she appeared to be twenty years younger than her actual age, it wasn’t intimidating. It only made Ragatha’s heart break for the little girl. She was clearly overstimulated, and probably had no idea what was going on.
“I just want to help you,” Ragatha tried to explain, but Pomni only backed away until she was against the wall.
“Go ‘way!” Pomni turned around and curled up, trying to make herself as small as possible. If she could have reduced the world to just that corner of the room, she would have. When Ragatha got closer, she could hear her whimpering.
She knelt and laid her hands on her lap. As much as she wanted to scoop the poor thing into her arms, she knew better after seeing how she reacted to Jax.
“I want to help,” Ragatha said, keeping her voice low and soft. “You’re not in trouble. I can take you back to your room, and you can rest until tomorrow—”
“Not tomorrow! No more adventures.” Pomni shook her head violently and pulled her hat over her face. “I’m not doing it. I can’t. No!”
She began to hyperventilate, and Ragatha knew that she had to do something. Now . She held the little jester’s hands and began to massage them. Like everyone else in the Circus, she was no stranger to panic attacks.
“Pomni, sweetie, it’s okay. Take a slow, deep breath.”
It took several tries to get Pomni to do as Ragatha said. Her gloved hands twitched and shook, but eventually stilled. Her ragged breathing slowed, and even her sobs quieted down. Tears ran silently down her cheeks, and with a defeated sigh, she slumped forward. Her forehead bumped against Ragatha’s chest, and Ragatha took that as permission to pull her onto her lap.
Once Pomni was in her arms, she didn’t want to let go. She listened to the hum of electricity, felt the habitual rise-and-fall of a chest that no longer needed to breathe. Ragatha needed this as much as Pomni did. This feeling of contentment was hard to find in the circus, and she wanted Pomni to feel the same way.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” she asked.
“Nuh-uh,” came Pomni’s muffled reply.
“Okay. Do you need me to talk to Jax?”
“ Nuh-uh .”
If something had happened between the two of them, the whole circus would have known about it. Like Zooble, Pomni had no problem fighting back or calling Jax out for his behavior. Ragatha didn’t actually want to talk to Jax about this, but if this became a regular occurrence for Pomni, she might have to.
She stood with Pomni cradled in her arms like a baby. Pomni didn’t protest this treatment, but she wasn’t snuggling up to her, either. She had a far-off look in her glassy eyes as she sucked a forefinger to soothe herself. Ragatha guessed that she looked about four or five. Maybe younger. It had been a long time since she’d seen a child.
Ragatha took it slow walking back. The rocking motion of her steps had Pomni dozing off on her shoulder with her finger still in her mouth. She snored softly as Ragatha carried her back to her room. She only woke up when Ragatha laid her on the bed and took off her shoes and gloves. It was impressive that she still had the energy to fuss.
“Take it easy, sweet stuff,” the doll soothed as she stroked the girl’s hair. “Do you want one of my plushies to cuddle with? That always cheers me up when I’m sad.”
But Pomni only put her hands over where her ears would be and rolled onto her side. Ragatha waited, but got no further reaction. She must have been so overwhelmed. The best thing she could think to do was to give her some space, until she was ready to open up on her own.
“Okay. I’ll be right here if you need me.” Ragatha reluctantly stepped away to retrieve a book. She tried to focus on the story, but it was difficult, given the circumstances. She was worried about Pomni, but she didn’t know what to do to make it better. Pomni seemed determined to tough it out on her own.
She was so worried, in fact, that she forgot about the storm outside. A crash of thunder shook the tent, making both of them jump. Ragatha thought her candy heart would jump right out of her chest. It technically wasn’t real, but that didn’t make it any less startling. Poor Pomni, already in a delicate state, practically flew out of bed and banged her head on the ceiling. She bounced once on the floor and catapulted into the toy chest that Ragatha used as a piano bench. Luckily, the lid was open, so Pomni landed safely among the plush toys.
“Are you okay?!” Ragatha rushed to the toy box and pulled out a confused and dizzy Pomni. She swatted away the tiny cartoon birds flying around her head and fixed her hat. For a single, still moment, Pomni sat on the floor in a daze. Another rumble of thunder, loud enough to make even Ragatha nervous, made the little girl freeze up in terror.
Her wide-eyed expression reminded Ragatha so much of Kinger that it gave her an idea. She went to her closet for a thick, fluffy blanket, and laid it over Pomni’s head and shoulders like a cloak. The sight of her peeking out from beneath the blanket was so cute that Ragatha couldn’t help but giggle.
“Huh?” Pomni snapped out of her trance. The warmth and weight of the blanket was just what she needed to calm down. Ragatha could relate. There were many nights when she would huddle under a pile of blankets and quilts, shutting out the rest of the world. She was sure that Pomni felt like doing the same.
“Better?” She closed the toy box and led Pomni back to bed. “It’ll be okay. I know it sounds scary out there, but think about how warm and cozy it is in here.”
With Pomni back in bed, swaddled and comfortable, Ragatha thought that would be the end of it. Satisfied, she turned away, only to feel a tug on her skirt.
“ Mommy .”
The soft, innocuous whine stunned her. There was a lump in her throat when she looked back and saw those big, pinwheel eyes gazing sleepily at her.
“What is it, baby doll?” Ragatha’s voice, already soft, took on an affectionate lilt. She sat on the bed next to Pomni and held the little hand clinging to her dress. The only response she got was a grumble and a pout, but the way Pomni squeezed her hand didn’t escape her notice.
It was a far cry from the stubborn young woman that Ragatha was acquainted with, but hell, everyone needed comfort sometimes. They were only human. Ragatha laid down with her head pillowed on her arm, and drew Pomni to her chest, with her chin resting atop her hat. Pomni’s hat, unlike a typical jester’s, had fluffy pom poms instead of bells. Nothing but soft things for her soft little girl. Caine’s silly adventures could wait.
There was another, more distant rumble of thunder, and the rain intensified. This time, Pomni didn’t jump or cry: she was nestled safe in Ragatha’s arms.