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The world spun around me as I thought “What have I done?”. It felt like my heart burst into a million pieces that could never be fixed again. The words “I’m sorry” rang repeatedly in my ears as I recalled the first memory I had of this demonic island.
My eyes fluttered open while the sun shone brightly down upon me. I flinched back and stood up from the sandy ground I was laid on. I looked around as my mind finally came to its senses. I was on… an Island? An Island filled with varying types of trees and animals. The whole setting felt ethereal. The waves rolled back and forth along the smooth sand on the outskirts of the island. Meanwhile, the middle part of the island seemed to be a rainforest type setting.
I started walking across the island for no other reason than to understand where I was. Hours must’ve passed because I had finally found something that needed my attention when the sun began to set. All was peaceful until I saw something near the sandbanks of the wide ocean that surrounded the island. I quickly ran to it and came to realize- it was a man. A man with long black hair, freckles, a white shirt and black shorts. He looked absolutely stunning.
I placed my head on top of his chest. He’s alive, I thought. Now that I was quite close to him, I could hear his soft breathing and could see the slow rise and fall of his chest. I reached out my hand to touch his face- and that’s when his eyes started to open up. His eyes were a beautiful shade of green and quite glossy.
He groaned and finally his eyes focused on me. “If this is a dream- I hope to never wake up. If this is real- I do not think I will ever sleep again. God must love me so much to allow me to lay eyes on his angel who he so beautifully crafted.”. I blush and look away, then, he starts laughing, “I do not mean to make you feel scared… you saved my life after all.”
That was very much a lie. But I couldn’t bring myself to speak up. He finally sits up and touches my chin while turning my head back slowly. “You are beautiful, have I ever said that?” he asked cheekily. “Yes, many times, Sir.” I reply back, smiling. “Sir is a far too noble title for a simple man like me… You may call me Apollo.” he announces. “Well then, you may call me… Inaya.” I chirped. “A beautiful name for a girl like you, Inaya.” he blushes slightly. “The feeling is mutual then, Apollo.”
And that was how I met the love of my life. The first two months were filled with tedious but much needed toil. We spent the first month building a small hut, the second month finding and adjusting a cave for shelter when it rained because of our hut being made out of straw and wood- allowing rain to seep through. The next few months after that were filled with bliss and love as we kept each other company and collected food and water for ourselves as well as hunting for better food. Occasionally, we got a good supply of food- but when we discovered how to fish, our hunger was very much satisfied.
As time practically flew by, me and Apollo had long forgotten the unfathomable way we met each other… as long as we were together- who cares? Our inexplicable romance within the secret nightmare we were trapped in had ultimately saved our lives. We’d even have a child, a child with the eyes of her father but the smile of her mother… me. My love for my beloved daughter, Amari, was just as much as the love I had for her father.
But unfortunately, all things must come to an end. The day was more notorious than any other day, it was the day I wanted to leave behind with the remnants of my ambiguous past. The period of growth and peace; had come to an end.
Apollo, my love, the brightest ray in my life, had come to me in tears while I had worked on fixing our child’s bed after the most recent rain and thunder shower.
“My love! I-I have done it!” he exclaimed. “Done what, Apollo! You are in tears!” I cried and reached out to hold his wet face. The next thing that came out of his mouth made my stomach turn.
“I built a boat for us to escape this dreaded island!” Apollo wails with tears that I now realized are made of joy. His face lights up like the sun as he smiles his perfect pearly whites at me. I don’t know what to think. “But… this island is our home! How could you say that?” I blurted out.
Suddenly, he’s not smiling. But rather staring me down. “How could you say that! This island is evil! It’s kept us here for God knows how long and we’ve been separated from society-".
"Excuse me? Are you saying that me and your CHILD aren’t good enough company for you?” I interrupt him with a solemn look on my face. He looks at me with a pained look.
“If you were feeling lonely, Apollo- you could’ve told us!” I spoke. The look on his face made me feel like I was in the wrong. It made me crumble to see him look at me like I was- That was it. The moment I realized.
I was the person holding him back.
“Apollo, after all we’ve worked for- after all WE DID… you could’ve told me.” I begged. “Inaya, you HAVE to realize- none of this was REAL. None of it.” Apollo barked. reality… what was it truly? “If this is a dream- May I wake up now!” I cried out.
“This isn’t a dream you maniacal woman! This is reality- I never loved you, the best thing you were to me was a distraction!” he shouted.
Dream. Reality. What are they truly?
I stayed silent and dropped my head as I heard footsteps receding towards the way Apollo originally came. “I- I love you.” I screamed back as I looked up to see his face one last time. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this, Inaya, but at least I’ll have Amari with me in a new life- far away from this island!” he confesses.
Amari? Wait- where is she? “You took her?!” I asked dumbfounded. “You’ll find out- now I must go… best wishes for your survival alone, Inaya.” Inaya, my name, I never knew it could hurt so bad to hear my own name.
Apollo ran swiftly away while I had made no attempts to stop him from what he was doing. How could something we ONLY had truly be this false?
Dream. Reality. Life- My Daughter… where is she?
I walked back to the tree house me and the man I loved made back when everything was peaceful; or at least delusional.
“Amari, sweetie? Come to me…” I muttered. I looked around our- MY house. I was met with nothing but silence. “Come to mama…” I begged. Nothing. “My Child!” I wept. That man took away my heart and my home with no remorse whatsoever. As I thrashed in bed that night and howled ever so loudly, all I was met with… was silence.
I woke up the next day to the sounds of the obnoxious birds looking for food. I showed them away as I got down the treehouse to reach the one place I loved more than anything; the shore. As my feet felt the soft sand, I felt like I was back in heaven. Back with my child, back with Apollo- I mean that man.
But as I had said before, nothing lasts forever. I often closed my eyes and took deep breaths when I was stressed out. So that’s what I did on my walk. It gave me a very much needed peace of mine- until I heard it. A choking sound. I looked towards where the sound was coming from, and there I saw it. A shipwreck. And a man choking on the air.
All the vehement feelings I had about him after yesterday had gone in a blink of an eye. I ran to him. “Apollo- oh my Love! Are you okay?” I asked. “Inaya, my Angel, I’m so sorry- '' he coughed.
Dream. Reality. Life. Death- my child-
“Where is she? Where is Amari!” I demanded. “I- am sorry Inaya,” he said, “I could barely save myself- so it was one or both of us.” He proclaimed. The world had turned upside down during that moment. “My- my daughter!” I gasped with tears streaming down my face. I suddenly remembered everything. How he left me, how he didn’t give a single thought to me- how he took MY daughter.
“You- you killed her!” I exclaimed. The next thing I knew- I had dragged his dying self and submerged his head underwater. He thrashed slightly- but his strength couldn’t reach its full potential… so he gave up. Eventually, he even stopped moving completely…
That’s everything that happened till present time. Wow- I’ve come a long way, haven’t I?
As I mourned the deaths of my two loved ones, staring at the one floating body on the sea, and imagining the other one safe somewhere, with someone who could give her as much love as I wished I could've supplied her with. At that moment, I had surprisingly fainted.
Dream. Reality. Life. Death. Love. Hope?
I woke up in a white dress. I was present in a dark room with nothing but machines and gadgets. There was a man standing on the edge of the room. “Congratulations, lieutenant. I knew you could do it!” he said happily. I looked to my side- and saw my husband. Drowned. “Who are you? What is this place-“ “Are you sure you want to know the truth?” he interrupts me.
“Yes! That’s the thing I’ve been wanting to know for a long time.” I declare. “This place you’re in- it’s a lab. What you were experiencing- was a simulation. Who you are? Lieutenant Grenville from the Aurelius powers. Who we are? Scientists from the Baxin force.” A lab? A Simulation? Me- a lieutenant? What does that even mean? “I don’t know what you’re talking about- how do you know who I was?” I interrogated and quickly corrected myself, "who I supposedly used to be."
“You’re an enemy capture from the other side of the war… I assume you’re in shock right now but you must understand- you have a war to fight.” he said. “I listen to no one- you can’t command me!” I hissed. “Who said you had a choice? There's no way you could possibly go back to your old life, not after all the years you've spent away from your family and friends... not to mention the danger of our enemies discovering what we do for a living," the scientist mumbled, "you're a soldier, lieutenant. A valuable asset under our... careful eyes. Likewise, you're too fragile to be placed in the hands of the people who left you."
"What do you mean?!" I screamed. "Ah," he paused, "your friends- you may not remember them, but the past you saw them as a brave and loyal group of people... In the end, 10 years have passed and still... no sign of them." he stated blandly. "You're lying!" I refused to believe this man. He couldn't have been telling the truth... "Believe what you must, but just remember that you would've been freed long ago if they came to save you." the scientist's lip twitched slightly as he turned around and left the room.
All the feelings of hope I used to have quickly vanished. As I laid there, on the bed, alone, only feeling the empty void, that used to be so full, in my heart.