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I Am Whatever I Say

Summary:

Five scenes from five alternate timelines where Eminem comes out of the closet, told through the media of the year when it happened.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: 2001

Chapter Text

IRCWorld  #shadyhate logfile since Tuesday, 11th September 2001 08:00:00 (EST). Filtering everything except public messages. 

 

<sw33tfantasy> Its a trick and you should all be ashamed of yourselves for falling for it. 

<sw33tfantasy> All of this is because Mariah's team fucked up thinking she should PR date Eminem 

<hjcavndish> I HATE EMINEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOMOSEXUAL W!GGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

<sw33tfantasy> Mariah's team didn't realize that we hated Eminem because he hates us, LOL 

<Mets_Fan_22> hey check out this funny game where you shoot eminem. you can shoot his limbs off by one it's crazy, the maker did a lot of ones like these with different celebrities and if you played the one which has pikachu it's the same as that one too, still pretty funny tho. :-) http://flashwave-collection.com/celebkiller/eminem.swf  

<sw33tfantasy> They had to do damage control 

<hjcavndish> I HATE GAY PEOPLE, THEY R SO GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

<sw33tfantasy> Mariah is so powerful she can even bully Eminem into coming out 

<sw33tfantasy> She must have thugs in her corner that even Dr. Dre are afraid of 

<LUCYTHEVIPER> you can tell he's gay because he uses moisturizer >:} 

<sw33tfantasy> anyway I hope it is all over now 

<sw33tfantasy> the headlines are making me sick 

<sw33tfantasy> you know i bet that he was responsible for her breakdown 

<sw33tfantasy> she had to hear him say things about cutting up people like us 

<backpackjacques> we all knew its because he was so insecure, whining about his mom and gay people, and he was doing that before Mariah 

<sw33tfantasy> this is why Glitter bombed 

<sw33tfantasy> @backpackjacques no gay or bisexual man would say the things he said. He talked about stabbing gay men in the head 

<sw33tfantasy> he tortured Mariah and now her PR team is doing damage control 

<pete_is_great> @sw333tfantasy right........ Its so fashionable to be gay these days. He knows snobby white music critics are going to boost him as a politically correct artist. 

<pete_is_great> It's his real challenge to change from selling to his audience of 13 year old girls and wiggas to go legitimate so they can sell him as a poet, based on that overrated Stan thing that everyone said is the second coming of Shakespeare.... nonsense 

<pete_is_great> Expect collaborations with Elton John and David Gray. And music profiles on his sensitive artiststry even though he is bringing all of that around his poor daughter. 

<pete_is_great> 'Breaking: Eminem, Boy George and Metallica to hold gay rights benefit concert against homophobic illegal downloads! Slim Shady: "I'M GAY, AND NAPSTER BAD!!!!"' Hahah

<LUCYTHEVIPER> I like Justin Timberlake so I hate him 4 what he sez about him but I don't think he's that bad of a guy somehow. Some of his songs are kool, like the one where the girl is on mushrooms, I just wish he'd grow up and do real dancing like a proper homosexual ;)

<backpackjacques> If he was really as good a rhymer as Elzhi or Canibus or Aceyalone he would have harder beats and wouldnt be making pop sh!t. I heard one about kids doing drugs which is the stupidest song I ever heard and this is supposed to be the greatest rapper alive? He's not even the best white rapper, El-P and Chino XL both are better. Though he might be the best gay white rapper but who wants that? ROFL

<Mets_Fan_22> i dont know @pete_is_great i think a lot of people will loose interest because a lot of people who listen to his music dont like gay and bisexual people, i dont think hes getting any more money out of this one 

<hjcavndish> MY GAY BIG SISTER KEEPS PLAYING THAT R*TARDED HI MY NAME IS CHICKA CHICKA  S*£@&%$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL TELL HER EMINEM IS A QUEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

<sw33tfantasy> Times are changing and stealing our struggles is the way of the future  

<sw33tfantasy> he has ALWAYS been a thief of other people's pain 

<Mets_Fan_22> hey there was a loud noise outside, BRB 

<sw33tfantasy> He lied about his background. He lied about his mother 

<sw33tfantasy> He lied about his sexuality. He lied about black people not being better than him 

<sw33tfantasy> something needs to be done to stop him in the name of everyone he hurt, in the name of Mariah, in the name of his Mom 

<hjcavndish> WHY IS CARDCAPTORS NOT ON TV???????????????????? JUST GAY NEWS ABOUT A PLANE FIX THIS F*GGTORY YOU QUEER P*NKZ ON TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DMX ROOLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

<sw33tfantasy> or we'll be sitting here in 20 years and he'll still be having hits in his stupid squeaky voice 

<sw33tfantasy> blond hair and wrinkles, surrounded by stupid kids in dog tags, annoying harpsichords in the music from every car 

<Mets_Fan_22> JESUS CHRIST!!!!! TURN ON THE TV WHAT IS HAPPENING 

<sw33tfantasy> Imagine Eminem playing a Pride show with Diana Ross opening singing "I'm Coming Out" and everyone cheering him for his bravery and forgetting everything he said and everything he did to Mariah 

<pete_is_great> Oh Jesus Christ  

<sw33tfantasy> The biggest threat to western civilization is when they figure out how to sell you progressiveness through a white boy who stole the blues  

<sw33tfantasy> and they are using the pain of gay men to do it

<sw33tfantasy> Nothing could be worse than that  

<LUCYTHEVIPER> go to #wtc!!!!! 

<sw33tfantasy> Oh what

Notes:

Historical note: This is a pretty simplified version of IRC logs which I based on the format used by bash.org rather than more authentic formats. I didn't want to make fake timestamps because I didn't want to give away the joke too much.

When 9/11 happened, several users went into every active chatroom and told people to join the #WTC channel. It was an extremely community-minded moment. I didn't include it in this because it felt unrealistic (plus it complicated the narrative enough that it wouldn't have been clearly legible in a fic format) but it's a fascinating piece of recent history.

If you want to learn more about historical attitudes towards Eminem at the time, an interesting place to look is https://everything2.com/?node=eminem