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Nothing felt real. Regulus felt numb, like his life just shattered. He didn't know what to do. He was escorted outside as the ambulance arrived and took James' body, as they packed up his James as if he was just another chore. He sobbed as his hands fell to his side, letting go of the boy he swore to never leave. It was one hour and seventeen minutes later when he finally realized he was still standing outside of the restaurant, watching his short breaths evaporate into the air. He felt his shaky hands reach to his pocket to grab his phone. He hazily went to his contacts and went to the first number under favorites. Sirius answered after two rings. "Sirius-" Regulus sobbed, barely even getting the name out. "Regulus? What's wrong?" Confusion echoed through his brother's voice. "Sirius, something awful has happened."
Regulus was sitting on the curb when Sirius pulled up. Within seconds of parking Sirius was out of his car and by Regulus' side, wrapping a blanket around him and embracing, warm tears streaming down both of their faces. As they stood holding each other, freezing rain started pelting their bodies, making the already freezing air unbearable. Sirius quickly led Regulus to the car, sitting him down in the passenger seat. He started the car so the heat would thaw their bones as they sat, basking in their desolation. It was 53 minutes later before Sirius could even find his foot on the pedal.
6 days and 14 hours later Regulus and Sirius were the last two people at James' grave, kneeling and sobbing as they read the headstone over and over again. Sirius was there for Regulus at every moment. He knew exactly how he felt having to experience the same situation, but Regulus was at a point where even Sirius didn't know how to help. When the sun had finally started to set again, Sirius took Regulus by the hand, standing him up and bringing him back to the car. "I can't leave him Sirius, I promised him!" Regulus shouted as Sirius forced the man into the car, refusing to let him freeze for another moment out in the air. "I know, I know..." was all Sirius said. It was all he could ever reply with. He said it so much he was beginning to not even trust his own words. Did he really know? Yes he did lose his Remus, and he struggled to get out of bed for a year, but he found peace in life next to James and Regulus and watching their relationship grow. Yeah, he got jealous sometimes, because their love was a love unlike no other. As Sirius hesitantly pulled away from the cemetery, he remained to send Regulus glances as he continued to stare out the window, teary eyes never leaving James' grave until it was too far to see.
Regulus was staying at Sirius' place for the past 8 days and 19 hours, refusing to go back to his and James' place, because it wasn't their place anymore, Regulus couldn't bear to live with that fact. It had been 15 days and 4 hours now and Regulus needed to go home and actually attempt to clean some things up. He left Sirius in the car, knowing he needed to handle this alone. The moment his foot stepped through the doorway he felt his heart drop a million miles below. He could barely breathe, the air getting tighter and tighter around him. He looked around and no matter where his eyes laid he saw a glimpse of James. The couch? They sat there every morning and drank coffee while James talked about his dreams from the night before. The kitchen? The time James' tried to cook dinner for Regulus and some of it somehow ended up on the ceiling. The memory pulled out a hysterical laugh out of Regulus' lips. He crumpled to the floor, his hands grabbing at his hair as he sobbed. He couldn't be here without James. He couldn't go anywhere without him. Regulus left without making it ten feet into his house.
One month, 3 days and 5 hours had passed and Regulus still couldn't feel anything but heavy and numb. He needed out, he wasn't sleeping, eating, and at times, he wasn't even sure if he was breathing. It seemed like forever from the moment that James' died, and the sun hadn't shown itself since. Regulus and James often compared themselves to the sun and the stars, but it internally pained him when the sun had been behind clouds all day, but Regulus could still see his star at night, still shining bright for the whole world to see. So the first day the sun had finally shone, Regulus took it as his chance. He had made his decision weeks ago, knowing he wouldn't be able to continue on. He was being selfish, but what else was there to be? He shouted to Sirius quickly that he was going for a walk, to finally feel some warmth again. He stumbled across the sidewalk, rolling his jumper sleeves up to feel the air touch his skin and slipping his headphones over his ears. He went straight to his and James’ shared playlist and played their song. The song they danced to under the moonlight at the end of their first date. “And I knew if I had my chance, That I could make those people dance, And maybe they’d be happy for a while.”
He walked to the park where he knew James' favorite view was. He followed the trail until he ended up on an older wooden bridge overlooking a lake in the distance, the river trailing towards him. He took in the sounds, birds singing, bugs chirping and the water flowing. Regulus felt the sun slightly kissing his skin, the same way his sun used to. He felt the warmth tangle around him, finally refilling his body with the relief he's been craving. He stepped up to the railing and watched the water run far below him. His eyes moved back up to look at the sun, spots bestrewing his sight. He smiled for the first time in a month, feeling content. He hopped up and sat on the railing, swinging his feet and holding his face high. He sighed as he started to feel tears slip down his face. Were they happy tears? Regulus liked to think so.
“They were singin', bye-bye, Miss American Pie, drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry, them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye, singin', "This'll be the day that I die"
The last thing Regulus felt was his sun finally caressing his skin again, finally taking Regulus home. As Regulus felt the wind in his hair he felt the words slip out of his lips, as if he was always destined to say them at his final moment.
"'Til death do us part."
But even death couldn’t keep them apart.