Chapter Text
Out of the woods
OoO
Every dream begins so sweetly
Then it goes to hell, completely
The same day Liam broke up with him, Zayn learned what could’ve been something great for them but it was not anymore. It was the most amazing news for him and only him instead. Led by anger and pain he then took a life changing decision…No, scratch that. He did the world’s terrible thing to do. Read: the-dumb-idea-that-will-attract-trouble-like-bees-to-honey.
Or as Harry put it when he knew about it, “Zayn that’s crazy!” His voice usually husky and low went high pitched
Niall just chewed loudly on his strawberry donut, staring up and down at Zayn with his big blue eyes.
Well…Louis was Louis, meaning that he screamed at top of his lungs explaining why it was a crazy-mad-stupid-idea and then calm down enough to try and put a plan in place to minimize collaterals damages. Read: the media will feast on them but let’s keep our heads up and…and…
Again, Louis was losing it.
Zayn was strangely calm. He was Zen, relaxed, quiet, and composed. Yes, at that moment all the synonyms of the word calm could’ve been applied to him.
It was a dumb idea, of course! But it was his dumb idea. So he was right where he wanted to be.
Conclusion, Zayn was three weeks pregnant with Liam’s child and planned on not telling him.
The very same Liam who was going to get engaged to you-know-who or who-shall-not-be-named-in-my-presence-signed-Zayn, or just Sophia for you, people.
OooO
When Zayn left the group, Liam did the next logical thing to do. He broke up with him.
A nice and clean break up. Read: Zayn cried, yelled while Liam tried to explain himself. Or according to Zayn and the rest of the group (minus Niall), Liam was being the worst selfish prick-asshole-that-set-foot-on-earth.
Well, there was always two sides to a story. Liam at the moment had his fears and reasons that seemed enough for him but not enough for his boyfriend… Ex-boyfriend, now.
Liam was just human. He had dreams and hopes. And Simon made it very clear that a twenty two years old gay singer, whose fandom was composed of mostly teenage girls, would never make it. And add to that; committed in a relationship with a former band member that they spent years denying.
So as Simon said: “For them, either you’re a liar or you’re a liar. Add to that the homophobic wave that will come after you. You don’t have a choice here, Liam. You’ll ruin everything you worked for… I will not support you on that. I never invest in a career that is vowed to go down and in the worst ways possible.
We’re talking harassments, threats, the front page of the magazine in a bad way and fans going crazy. Losing millions and you breaking the very same contract you signed to keep it secret.
It’s your call. Either you destroy everything or put an end to it once and for all”
And the end of Simon’s long monologue, Liam just left his office. Not saying a word but determined to do the right thing.
Unfortunately, the right thing was leaving Zayn for the sake of his career.
When the rest of the group heard about the break up through a crying and devastated Zayn, their reactions was sync. Disbelief, and a whispered ‘what the bloody hell?!”
Harry and Louis tried to talk to Liam but they were confronted to a wall. He was stubborn as ever. His reasons seemed off, tinted with fear. And Louis like always lost his cool worsening the situation.
Niall just listened to him until Liam was out of breath, and words. Then he hugged the brunet who let himself go for the first time since the break up and cried. The blond wished him luck and “not regretting it in the end”.
At the end of the day, we’re only human. We all make mistakes, but the toughest one find the strength to admit it and try to make it right.
OoO
When Zayn’s family heard the news about the break up, they were shocked because they knew how the couple acted around each other. They knew that Liam was head over heels for Zayn, just like their Zayn was for Liam.
His sisters tried their best to comfort Zayn and guide him through the dark. His mother gave him a speech about first love, how it felt like forever but it was not, how he will fall in love again and forget everything. It seemed so impossible for the young man.
His father patted him awkwardly on the back and handed him a beer, his way of comforting. He let his wife handle the feelings talk.
They were understanding, comprehensive and stood by him.
When they heard about Liam getting engaged, Zayn’s family looked at him with pity and sadness for days until he broke and left for his own house, miles away.
However, when they heard about Zayn’s pregnancy they went crazy with worry and incomprehension. The sadness and pity in their eyes was quickly replaced by an explosive mix of anger and disbelief.
It was the most awkward and life draining call Zayn made.
Telling your parents that you were pregnant with the child of your ex-boyfriend, and you’re intending to keep it, was a scary thing to do.
OoO
Zayn sighed for the millionth time that day. He was sitting at the table of his kitchen with a glace of milk in his hand. He was not aloud any alcohol to sooth his nerves and lately he had a weird craving for milk. So milk with honey was the new whiskey.
In front of him, on the deep red wooden table, was his phone. He couldn’t avoid it anymore, in a few months he was going to show and Liam would ask questions. And if he didn’t then, he would the day their baby would make the front page of some magazine. He would call Zayn asking for an explanation on why his child looked like him.
Zayn pictured it easily in his mind, an angry looking Liam asking for custody or worse.
He took the phone composing a number he learned by heart, at the second ring Liam picked up.
“Zayn?”
His voice was still husky and warm, surprised but happiness was clear in it. Like he couldn’t believe Zayn would call after what happened between them.
“We need to talk”
Zayn could hear Liam breath hitch at that. Nothing good came a “we need to talk”.
“Okay…”
The brunet put the phone on speaker, laying it down in front of him on the table. He replayed his speech over and over in his head. He prepared himself and imagined every scenario possible. Going directly for it was the best solution, they didn’t have anything to talk about anymore.
“Liam, I am…”
“I am sorry Zee”
Liam interrupted him before he could go any further. Zayn was taken aback by his apology. He didn’t expect it. Then Liam was probably feeling guilty, thinking this was a call about Zayn trying to get him back, thought bitterly Zayn.
“I am sorry about the way I ended things between us, Zee. I am..”
His words shattered Zayn’s heart. He couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t call for an apology, he didn’t need it. It came too late and at the wrong time. Liam could have called earlier to apologize if he was really sorry. Zayn was lost in his own thoughts and didn’t hear the rest of Liam’s apology.
“Zayn, you’re with me?”
Liam was growing restless over the phone, he knew something was off. When the ID caller flashed on his phone, he didn’t believe it. He was planning to call for days but never had the courage to. He was the reason Zayn was hurting, he vowed him to never to do it but in the end he broke his promise.
He wasn’t brave enough to face his ex-lover. He had too many things to say but the words were not quite right. And judging by the silence in the other end of the phone, he knew Zayn wasn’t even listening. He probably zoned out, a habit he had when he was thinking too much.
He wanted to tell him that he loved and still loves him but he had no right to do so. It wasn’t fair for Zayn. The brunet had the right to move on even though the thought of it made Liam mad. The thought of another man touching Zayn made his skin crawl and his blood boil.
He didn’t any right to feel that way anymore, he ended everything after all.
The phone call grew more and more awkward. The tension was palpable even if they weren’t in the same room. In the background Zayn heard Liam’s fiancé calling, then Liam whispering. He didn’t hear everything he said, just a simple nickname that made his chest tight.
“It was a bad idea”
Just like that, he hung up. He couldn’t take anymore. Hearing Liam referring to her with the old nickname he used with Zayn was too much.
Liam apparently moved on, if there was something to even move on in the begging for him.
OoO
“What did he say?”
Harry was holding his phone between his shoulder and head, trying to have a conversation with Zayn while cooking his dinner.
“I hung up right after I heard him Haz. I couldn’t do it, for him it’s like we never happened… I was gonna tell him I swear but… Haz, it hurts so much to know that he played me like that.”
Harry sighed, putting away the ingredients for his dinner. The situation was getting worse, he didn’t except that turn of event.
“I was excepting shouting and swearing…Not this”
He went to the living room taking his coat and motioning to Louis, who was sprawled on the couch, to follow him.
“We will be there in twenty, I will call Nialler too”
He heard Zayn groan, “You don’t have to”
“In twenty Zaynie”
He hung up going out followed closely by a curious Louis.
OoO
The group was sitting in Zayn’s living room eating pizza while watching a movie, their way of comforting the brunet and showing him their support.
They had a very long and tiring conversation when they first arrived, which ended by swearing to protect Zayn if Liam tried anything and vowing to never tell him about the pregnancy.
Liam wouldn’t cause trouble to Zayn, but he went and broke up for the wrong reasons so all the bets were off for the boys.
OoO
Zayn was sprawled on his couch, hands rubbing lazily his yet flat belly. His thoughts were going miles per hour, thinking about a nursery, schools, and how his life changed in the two minutes that it took to the pregnancy test to show the positive result. He had to make appointments to the doctor and talk to his manager on how to handle the situation.
His mind was far away planning his life and his baby’s life. It was overwhelming how much things he had to think about, now he was going to be a father. Everything was about to change for the better, he hopefully thought.
His mother promised him that she will help and guide him through it all, assuring him that being a parent was something you learn every day and not in a one go from a book. Even the boys planned on babysitting often for him, they were already fighting for the godfather place. Zayn smiled at the memory. Louis went overboard already buying him baby stuff while Harry hired someone for the nursery. Niall was making a baby name list because his godson or goddaughter deserved the best.
The doorbell startled him, he groaned because the person better have a good reason to disturb him. He prayed internally that it wasn’t his overly cheerful neighbors. They always asked for autographs and pictures for their granddaughters or children.
What he didn’t except was Ed Sheeran on his porch with two gorillas as bodyguards, and what he didn’t see coming was a smiling Ed on his couch while the gorillas stood on his porch guarding the door. He hoped that the paparazzi didn’t make it to his house.
And what he didn’t imagine, even in a million years, was a job offer and a contract from the musician.
“I am sorry I came without notice but I wanted to tell you personally…”
Zayn nodded waiting for his guest to continue.
A week later, Zayn signed with a new record house, and moved out from his old house. New job, new life, new begging. Even if it felt like running away, it still did him good.
The thought of Liam not knowing where he lived comforted him somehow, and his new house was a little out of the city in a private residence giving him the intimacy he needed for his pregnancy.
He intended to keep it secret until the very end. Making front page of the tabloid wasn’t on the menu for him. He didn’t want to raise the suspicion of the public about who the father was. When the time comes he would play the card of the mysterious one, being evasive or insinuate something to keep the media of the tracks.
And for Liam, he didn’t have a plan about him. He didn’t know if he would tell him someday or just hide forever.
But life had other plan for the brunet, secrets are always revealed. Life was funny like that.
TBC