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He was shivering again. Pale skin slick with sweat - muscles tensed and twitching as he slept in a pathetic, whimpering heap. The cold worked its way through his sick body, racking his frame. So many thoughts flew through his mind, like a whirlwind of lightning and sand. The loud roaring of his nitro-boosted engine as he raced towards his target. Panting, sweating, shaking.
He felt the warmth of a hand on his shoulder, squeezing tightly. He turned his head to peer up into the sunroof of his car, seeing his lancer peer down at him –
He woke with a jolt and a snarl, grabbing the skinny wrist on his shoulder. He sat up, holding it in a vice grip, panting and staring straight ahead at the salts. It was a blur, but it looked to be just barely dawn.
“Nux?”
For a brief moment, he could have sworn he’d heard Slit. It took him a moment to realize that couldn’t be true. Nux turned to see a blur of red, and finally, his vision finally adjusting. He stared back at Capable, her fearful expression immediately hitting his gut like a vicious punch. He quickly released her, scooting back to allow her room.
“S-... Sorry,” he replied, voice hoarse with sleep. He wiped his sweaty brow, closing his eyes tightly. It took everything in his power not to hit himself over and over, now that the breeder – woman – beside him would chastise him for it.
“Those are the night fevers, yeah?” he heard her calm, soothing voice cut through his temporary panic. He opened his eyes, looking back at her. He swallowed, then nodded, letting his hand fall into his lap. Even his palms were damp with sweat.
“Yeah,” he grunted. “Got me good this time…”
“What were you dreaming of?” she asked, turning away to yawn into her palm.
Nux watched, swallowing again. His throat was parched, he realized. “... Valhalla. I think,” he replied in an unsure tone, hearing just how scratchy his throat was. “The storm, from the day before.”
“Yes, it was… quite a nightmare,” Capable responded, pulling her knees to her chest. “Can’t imagine what it looked like. We were all in the tanker when it happened. Heard it all… Sounded like the roaring of some ancient beasts.”
He watched as she rested her chin on her knees, staring at her as she stared back. He smiled briefly, looking down at the rusty cuff on his wrist. “It was truly chrome,” he responded. “Felt like Valhalla starin’ at me, singin’ at me to drive right in. Lovely, it was.”
His smile faded, and he sat up, leaning his back against the metal of the War Rig’s lookout perch. He stared out of the hollow window, looking towards the sky as it faded from black to a light pink, the morning sun just barely peeking above the far-off dunes. It was quiet between the two now, and his mind wandered back to his dream.
That firm grip on his shoulder. That stupid smile from above.
His lids felt heavy over his eyes now, and he curled up, burying himself against the metal.
“What’s wrong?” came a whisper beside him. Nux closed his eyes, breathing in slowly, and exhaling shakily. He coughed, rubbing at his throat with a grunt. “Mm. Nothin’. Nothin’ important,” he replied, “... just nothin’.”
“Doesn’t sound like nothing,” she replied, scooting closer to him. She rested a soft hand on his bicep, giving him a comforting squeeze. He turned his head, looking at her from over his shoulder, big eyes welled with a different kind of sadness. Yearning.
“... I’m not used ta this,” he told her. “Feels like I got nowhere to go. Can’t go back now, y’know?”
Capable frowned softly, “... You don’t want to be here? With us?”
Nux huffed through his nose, shaking his head. “I… It’s not that. Swear it,” he rasped. “But… it’s all I’ve known. All I’ve ever known. They’re my brothers, you know. All ‘o them. I…” He closed his eyes, then finally uncurled himself to turn towards her. “I… like ya. A lot. Only known ya for less than a day, and I feel like you’re a gift from Valhalla itself. But it’s just… so new.”
“It’s an adjustment,” Capable commented.
Nux thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah. That,” he grunted. He glanced down at his hands again, observing his blackened fingers. There was a silence between them once more. Only a soft sigh broke it this time, with Capable moving closer and settling her hand over his.
“There’s something else,” she said. “... Someone else.”
Nux glanced up at her then, eyes widening briefly. It was like she could see right through his brain. Like she knew everything about him already. He shuddered at the thought of someone poking around his mind like that - but he supposed it wasn’t unlike how Slit was. Slit knew most everything about him, sometimes more than he knew about himself. Weirdos, the both of ‘em.
“... Mm,” was all Nux responded with, looking down again.
“Who are they?” Capable asked, leaning in a bit closer. Nux closed his eyes then, taking in her gentle scent. When he finally looked back at her, he looked tired. Torn.
“My lancer,” he replied. “He’s…” Nux smirked briefly, looking out to the wastes again and shaking his head. “He’s a schlanger. A real hater… but he was my lancer. My mate.” He leaned his head up against the warm metal, eyes steady on the horizon. “Known him for a long time. Always admired the bastard. Hardcore, not afraid ‘o anything. When I was a Pup, I wanted to be just like ‘im… then I became a driver, and I chose him for my lancer. Was a good day…”
He bit down on his scarred lips, averting his gaze from the rising sun to the sands below. “He was always a bit nasty. Mean. But he knew me better than anybody. Knew me better than I knew myself in some ways.” He slowly turned his head to look at Capable, who watched him with a curious expression.
“... If he was so nasty, why were you so close to him?” she asked, pushing her fiery red hair behind her ear.
Nux watched, feeling a light warmth come to his cheeks. He hummed briefly. “Well… he was my lancer, after all. He wasn’t so bad, y’know, when we were alone. Didn’t want our brothers to know ‘bout it, but… we were soft. He liked to think he weren’t… but deep down, he were. Could see it in his eyes. For all the shit he slung around the others, he made up for it in his own ways.” He didn’t realize the smile that had crept onto his lips. “Kept me warm in our bunk. Held me tight when the fevers came knockin’. Hyped me up durin’ patrols. Like I said - he was my mate. And…”
He trailed off, his blue eyes looking at Capable, though his mind was elsewhere. He swallowed, blinking as he felt his throat begin to close up slightly. Those big blue eyes became glassy, tears threatening to break free.
“... you loved him,” Capable chimed in with a soft smile, her head tilted to the side. “And you… miss him.”
Nux considered her words. He and Slit had never used the word love before in that way. It was soft. Weak. Pathetic… But the feeling was there. It was never spoken, but the War Boy decided maybe it didn’t need to be said aloud. He slowly nodded, clearing his throat and wiping the corner of his eye against the back of his wrist.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “Somethin’ like that.”
Nux felt a pang of guilt. He was used to this feeling by now, considering how yesterday’s events panned out. This was different, though. Capable and the other wives had taught him so much in such a short amount of time. Knowing their experiences made a world of difference to him. He knew he wasn’t like the others, like Slit. He’d always had some kind of… softness about him, some empathy, or whatever it was Capable had told him. Strangely enough, it was like Slit knew, too. Teased him for it, but at the same time… protected it. Didn’t beat it out of him. It’s what made Nux Nux, after all. He felt safe around him, just as he felt safe around Capable.
A tug at his heart quickly reminded him that Slit wouldn’t approve of this. Slit would still call him a traitor. Call him a smeg. A desperate Pup. Not out of hate for Nux… but out of hurt. He winced at the thought.
“It’s not too late, you know,” Capable said, moving to press her side against his as she placed her hand on his chest, just over his heart. “You can go back. Go back to him. It’s your life, Nux. If it’s what you want, then you should go. No one but you should make that decision.” She was always so soft with her words, so kind.
Nux felt goosebumps down his arms, then swallowed nervously. “... It’s not a life,” he eventually responded, uncertain at first. “It’s like you said. We’re just… things to ‘im. To the Immortan. Exp… Espend…”
“Expendable,” Capable responded, smiling at him.
Nux nodded at her, “Right. Expendable.”
He stared down at her, gently taking his hand to touch the very tip of her red braids. “... I don’t think I want that life anymore. I just wish it were different.” He bit his lip again, breathing deeply. “Just wish he were here. Wish he’d have the brains ta understand, ta change.” His eyes welled with sadness once more, brows pressing upward.
“I don’t have much time left. Always wanted him there to witness it.”
He melted once Capable’s palm cupped his cheek. His eyes closed, and a small whimper escaped him. He leaned into her touch, grasping her hand to hold her there. She allowed it, moving to sit in his lap to allow him a warm body to cling to as he cried softly. Capable shushed him quietly, holding his face against her neck as she rocked him back and forth.
After a long moment, he’d finally calmed down, breathing slowly against her neck. Capable stroked the back of his head, then finally spoke, “What is his name?”
Nux was quiet at first, slowly opening his teary eyes. He pulled just a few inches away from her, gazing into her sympathetic stare. He smiled sadly, eyes softening.
“... Slit. His name’s Slit.”