Chapter Text
It’s late when Mina slides open the bedroom window and slips out, a single bag slung over her shoulder. She doesn’t look back at the drunk snoozing in the bed, his leg hanging off and a beer bottle still between his fingers. She tunes out his heinous snoring, the end of his reign over her finally coming to an end.
As soon as her feet hit the cobblestones, she breaks into a sprint. There’s a stitch in her side from where he kicked her last night, but she forces herself to go faster. Any minute, he may burst open the front door and sprint after her. This isn’t the first time she’s run away, after all. Once, he caught her halfway out the door. The second time, a neighbor watched the escape and alerted him. The third time, she stowed away in a restaurant only for the owner to buckle when he came in with a pistol.
This time had to be the last.
The army base isn’t too far. She’ll wait outside all night if she must, but she’s going to get her name on that roster. She’ll train the hardest to ensure a spot in the Scouts when it comes time to choose. She has to go beyond her home, beyond the wall, beyond anywhere that stops her from having a sense of freedom.
She won’t be tied down anymore.
The base is dark aside from a few patrols circling the exterior. Mina is told to halt when she comes into view. She holds up her hands as the guard eyes her.
“I’m here to register,” she tells him.
He frowns, his eyes raking her up and down. She must look so haggard and exhausted from running all this way, not to mention she’s lost weight in the past few months. She must seem like the worst possible recruit. “Go home, lady.”
Mina plants her feet and matches his stare. “No. I’m here to register.”
He sighs and shakes his head, as if he pities her. “Whatever. After your first day, you’ll leave. You can’t register until the morning.”
“I’ll wait.”
His brows furrowed, unsure of what to make of her. She keeps her eyes on his. He rubs his forehead and shrugs, leaning back against the wall.
So she waits.
She sits on the ground in front of the base, crossing her legs and holding her bag in her lap. She uses it as a pillow to lean forward on, daring to close her eyes. I’m safe now. I’m safe, I’m safe, I’m safe . She repeats over and over, urging herself to believe it. She takes cautious glances behind her throughout the night, never letting her guard down, though she dozes off a time or two.
She’s shaken awake at some point, a guard staring down at her with a hint of disgust. “Well, you going to register or not?”
Mina signs her name, using a made up surname, then she’s led into the barracks where her new home will be for however long training takes. Some finish the training in months, some in years. The higher ups say it all depends on the person and their determination, their heart. Mina wants to finish as soon as she can. The quicker training is over, the closer she is to the Scouts and the outside world.
The closer she is to him never finding her.
The first day is sociable, everyone collecting a uniform and chatting with their barrack roommates. Mina puts on a smile, knowing things will be different here. They have to be. She is no longer the coward who crumbles under a man’s words. She’ll be cheerful. Funny. Reliable. No one will ever know her as anything different.
“I’m Violet,” the girl who’s bed is next to hers says with a grin, holding out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you!”
Violet has been in training for over a month. She’s welcoming and takes Mina around, showing her the training field, the mess hall, and the small library on the base’s campus. Abruptly during their walk, Violet grabs Mina’s arm and yanks her off the sidewalk. Mina frowns and goes to ask what’s wrong, but Violet’s eyes are wide as she stares at the man coming towards them.
He’s barely taller than Mina, his features stern and his eyes seemingly void of any feeling. He wears his ODM gear and a Scouts cloak, walking purposefully, perhaps on his way to train or some sort of mission. He doesn’t spare them a glance as he passes, though Mina finds herself staring at him with a scowl. His radiates cold energy, a massive do-not-speak-to-me aura.
“Fix your face,” Violet scolds, smacking Mina’s arm. “Don’t you know who that is?”
Mina gives her a look. “How would I know? He looks like an ass.”
Violet’s eyes widen and she glances to make sure the man didn't turn around. “Mina,” she hisses. “That’s Captain Levi. He’s the strongest soldier we’ve ever had. He’s only been here a year and he’s already climbed the ranks and earned his own special forces squad.”
Mina absorbs this information with a nod, still staring at his back as he slowly disappears over the hill. “He’s a Scout.”
“Duh. I heard he’s taken out dozens of Titans on his own,” Violet replies with eyes full of admiration. “He’s a force to be reckoned with. But he’s very standoffish. And stern. And…” Now that Levi’s gone, she sighs. “Yeah, he’s an ass.”
Mina finds herself smiling. “Guess I have to work harder than I thought.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I’m going to join his squad.”
Violet gawks at her, then fails to stifle a laugh. “Okay, dreamer. Levi hand picks all of his squad members. They take the worst of the worst outside the wall.”
Mina tilts her head in thought, then nods to herself. “Challenge accepted.”
Violet stares as if Mina has lost her mind. She gives up, though, shaking her head and mumbling, “Come on,” before pulling Mina away for the rest of her tour.
***
The training was damn near unbearable.
Mina had horrific stats when she began, but it only stirred the fire within her. She stayed late most nights and rose early everyday, always the first on the training field. After a few months, she had gained back weight, mostly in muscle, and she was quickly becoming a notable cadet.
She often caught glimpses of Captain Levi, either in passing or the mess hall, albeit he never looked her way, or anyone’s for that matter. He commanded the room’s attention regardless, whether he meant to or not. Soldiers would stop walking and salute him before murmuring behind his back.
One day out in the forest, training on how to kill Titans with the massive wooden figures, she finished her course before the other cadets and caught sight of him observing the exercise. Their eyes locked, but before she could react, he looked away and spoke with the commandant. She felt frustration unfurl inside her belly. Call it arrogance, but she wanted him to acknowledge that she had finished before the other cadets. A head nod. A smile. A head tilt. Something .
But she had been brushed aside.
Now, about six months into training, the commandant tells her she’s nearly ready to pick her regiment. Mina is spurred into pushing herself impossibly far, and she collapses on the field those late nights more often than she’d like to admit.
“Mina, you really ought to take it easy,” Violet tells her with a worried frown, her brow furrowed. “Pushing yourself like this is unhealthy.”
“I’m fine,” Mina assures her with a grin. She’s gotten good at smiling things away.
Violet puts her long blonde hair into a ponytail, the pout still on her lips. “Yeah, sure, you liar. Half the time you never make it to the barracks at night.”
Mina laces up her boots and stands, pausing when a dizzy spell swings by her. She forgot to eat last night. She’ll have to swing by the mess hall for an apple before going to the field.
“Mina,” Violet scolds, noticing her light swaying. “You’re already the top cadet, just like you wanted. You can afford to calm down and take it easy.”
Mina smiles at her friend and laughs. “I told you I’d get the captain’s attention, remember? That hasn’t happened yet.”
“Well, the captain doesn’t notice anyone,” Violet says. “I wouldn’t take it so personally.”
She does, though. She can’t explain why. Could she be seeking male validation after not being enough in her marriage? She scowls at the thought. Never. She wouldn’t stoop so low. Perhaps it’s more about proving she can be an equal, that she’s just as good as any man could be. If she wants freedom, doesn’t she need to be able to handle anything?
After seven months, Mina takes part in the ceremony to choose her regiment. She’s one of only thirteen recruits that opt for the Scouts. Everyone knows it’s dangerous work. A suicide plan. It takes the bravest, or the dumbest, to join such a grueling life.
But Mina smiles when given her Scouts uniform, because she finally achieved something on her own.