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Izutsumi frowned, kicking at the back of her ear lightly. The trolley ride had gone on too long for her liking, and it was getting late. Around her, her new party members were settling down, with Laios fully passed out, Chilchuck trying to sleep and Marcille groggily awake, trying to study some spells she could teach Laios come morning.
The only remaining awake companion was Senshi, who was sharpening his cooking knife before preparing for bed.
The dwarf dutifully worked at keeping his knife in good shape, his goofy eyes keeping complete focus as he worked. Senshi always had that strange nature about him. He looked unfocused, silly even, but he acted in complete seriousness, with passion and wisdom.
Izutsumi did not understand a lick of it. He put a lot more feeling into what he did than seemed necessary. It was probably just going to hurt him in the end, but she wouldn’t ever say that to his face.
However, she couldn’t sleep, so maybe she did have to speak up.
Thankfully Senshi picked up on her groggy nature.
“Having trouble sleeping, Izutsumi?” He observed, putting down his knife once he was satisfied with its edge’s quality.
“Mmmrh, yeah…” she slowly groaned, stretching herself out in an attempt to get more comfortable. “Don’t know why though, which is annoying.”
“Hm.” He thought for a moment, scratching at his beard. Remembering himself, he took off his helmet, putting it aside as he was getting ready to settle down to sleep as well. “That is strange, you seem to have slept well consistently until now.”
“Yeah, I need a lot of rest due to…” she sighed, gesturing to her cat ears with a sneer. “That.”
“I understand, I need more sleep than tall-men too, so thankfully sleep comes easy.” He added as he sat down on his bed roll. “Are you sure there’s nothing different tonight?”
“Maybe you didn’t eat enou-“
Izutsumi hissed, glowering at him. “I don’t need more food, old dwarf.”
Senshi looked at her curiously. “But you need proper nutrition, you’re young after all.”
Izutsumi was about to throw another insult his way but remembered how he ended up getting that strong belief. So, she shut her trap, opting to pout instead, looking away in defiance.
Senshi scooched forward. “I understand it can take time to adjust, but we need to eat well to survive, I do not want you getting hurt because you’re hungry.”
Izutsumi scratched at her clothes lightly, still frowning, but now glaring at the ground. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it, or do everything you say.”
“Adults must make hard decisions.” Senshi concluded, preparing to lay down.
“But it’s not hard to pick.” She acknowledged, baring her teeth in defence. “And stop talking down to me!”
She was interrupted as Chilchuck threw a pillow at her face.
“Shut the hell up, some of us are trying to sleep!” he turned over. “Damn kids…”
“Not you too!” Izutsumi hollered, somehow not waking the log of a man that was Laios with her noise.
“On that topic…” Marcille began, putting aside her tome in defeat, as she wouldn’t be able to study with all the noise, “How old are you, Izutsumi?”
“17.”
Senshi fell over, and Marcille similarly stumbled. “What, really?” Senshi wondered out loud.
“You are barely even an adult by tall-man terms!” Marcille shouted, causing Chilchuck to groan in frustration at the noise picking up once more.
“Hey!” she shouted, standing up in a huff. “I’m as much of an adult as any of you, I’m capable, I can take care of myself, and I have more self-respect than most of you do!”
“Self-respect…?” Senshi asked, furrowing his brow.
“I take better care of myself then all of you do.” she declared, grinning slyly.
“Better care- Wait, if you take such good care of yourself, why were you happiest when I was taking care of you?” Marcille questioned, slightly frustrated and slightly confused.
Izutsumi’s logic broke in two, same with her voice. She stood there awkwardly, blushing brightly as her words were completely taken away by that statement.
Why was she happy then…?
Oh, it was surely just magic, of course! There wasn’t anything that made her actually upset over not getting affection, there wasn’t any part of her that needed attention. No, that was just magic. It had to be.
It had to be.
Senshi picked up on her hesitance and stepped forward, looking up at the girl. “It’s not a bad thing to rely on people.”
“Yes it is!” she insisted, showing off her claws in defence. “No one else will take care of me, so I need to protect myself.”
Senshi stepped forward, earning a hiss from Izutsumi. He stood strong, glaring slightly with determination. “All of us are here because we help each other, not because we’re looking out for ourselves.”
She paused, at that, unsure of what to say.
Could she be allowed to rely on people? Well, she’d done that before, yes, but she always did it in her self interest. She never asked for their help, she just got them to do things when it was necessary. Why would they care about her?
As she was distracted, Marcille came forward as well, putting a hand on Izutsumi’s head.
“Are you sure you don’t want to relax a bit?” Marcille pressed, to which Izutsumi…
Broke.
The elf’s hand felt soft. As Izutsumi froze up, Marcille slowly scratched the girl’s head, causing an unwanted purr to escape her. The hand moved to behind her ears, and she blushed as she leaned into it, her ear twitching as she accepted the pets.
Izutsumi shook, gripping her arms as tears pricked her eyes. “Why- why do I want this?” She shuddered, frustrated at her insecurity and vulnerability. “Why would I ever want to be coddled?”
Senshi put her hand in his, ignoring the threat of claw marks across his face if he screwed this up. “Your body has needs, like we talk about with nutrition.” he began, looking her in the eye softly. “Your heart has needs too, you know.”
“What do you know about that?” Izutsumi growled, trying to lean away from Marcille’s touch but finding herself completely unable to.
Senshi took a deep breath, and then took the dive.
He hugged her.
“You’re not the only one who’s been lonely.”
…
Lonely.
Maybe she did feel lonely.
But she wasn’t some lonely girl with a curse. That made her sound weak. She wasn’t weak! She could never be weak! She was strong, she was agile, she could survive on her own if she wished.
But…
Senshi implied he was lonely.
And he could survive by himself too. Sure, he was annoying, overbearing, and strict. But he knew what he was doing. He could make it through things, he could fight, he could cook all these gross meals. He had survived underground for years…
Alone.
Probably for way longer than she had been alive.
Maybe people who could handle themselves still needed people. Or, wanted them. She didn’t need this, she could not need this.
So then why did she want it?
“You know, maybe you could try being like how you were when we were with the people of the Golden Country.” Marcille suggested, moving to pet Izutsumi with both of her hands. “Wouldn’t that be nice?”
She shuddered still, but the combined warmth and care of Senshi’s embrace and Marcille petting her caused her to let out a whimper.
“What did you say?” Senshi quietly wondered, to which Izutsumi spoke up again.
“Pl… Ple- Please…” she shuddered, shocked at the words that were coming out of her. Tears fell over her face. She should not want this, should not care about getting affection or love or anything. None of it mattered, they were adventurers! They were going to get through this dungeon, they were going to win! Why be like a pathetic little baby?
Slowly, she was brought out of her thoughts as Senshi carefully picked her up and sat down cross-legged, with the cat in his lap. Said cat leaned into the dwarf, still blushing brightly and keeping her claws out due to her mixed headspace.
“Hm, now, how do we get her back in that state of mind?” Marcille asked out loud, earning a shrug from Senshi. “I could try using m-”
“Nope!” Senshi insisted, getting a tighter grip on Izutsumi. “We’ve had enough magic for now, and she’s had to deal with enough spells herself.”
Izutsumi felt… strange, that the two seemed to be talking above her. Like she was a little kid. Sure, the insulting suggestion that she wasn’t a part of their conversation was hurtful, but…
Then again, there was something comforting about it.
Like responsibility was out of her hands.
No- she’s supposed to like responsibility, and dealing with things herself.
Senshi caught on to her worries, and slowly rocked the girl, which shut her up quickly. The only frustration she showed was an audible whimper over her mixed headspace, and how… scary it all felt.
But, she was in Senshi’s arms.
She was safe.
She was being pet, and she was being held.
There weren’t monsters here, and there weren’t any icky meals she did not want to eat. She felt comfortable. Which felt strange.
She was usually on-edge, ready to cut someone at a moment’s notice.
Now, all she felt was fluttery, like her head was surrounded by a cloud, obscuring some of her thoughts and worries. Maybe some ideas really were above her right now.
Marcille looked down at the cat, noting her further relaxation, as up until that moment Izutsumi had been quite tense. Now, she leaned into Senshi’s embrace, nuzzling up against his shoulder lightly. Marcille honestly was shocked this was possible, considering the last time Izutsumi had taken on this state of mind, it was due to magic.
To think, the angry girl who threatened her life was willing to be pet like this without being under a spell.
It was strange, but Marcille was no stranger to things being strange anymore. Mainly because she was travelling with two people who have eating monsters as a core facet of their personality. Chilchuck was the only member of their party who made sense to her. The rest were all so weird, so peculiar, so… unique. In ways that she adored and despised.
Right now, however, Izutsumi was the strangest part of the party by far, and that was saying something.
However, something about this felt right, in a way. The sensation of petting her was good, and the thought of taking care of people when you choose to is quaint. Heh, maybe she could take care of Falin like this. Hold her close, tell her it will all be okay, kiss her forehead and whisper sweet nothings to help her fall asleep…
Stop! No! Stay in the moment Marcille, don’t go fantasising about being able to see Falin again!
… She already did that far too often, anyways.
Her attention was brought back to the cat when Izutsumi let out a tiny meow, which caused Marcille to squeak due to sheer cuteness. Izutsumi, however, did not take this kindly, and meowed more forcefully, making grabby hands at Marcille.
“Aww, does somebody want pets?” Marcille teased, and a more forceful meow caused her to go ahead and give the kitten what she wanted. Izutsumi relaxed, leaning into the touch and moving her head around so Marcille would scratch all the right spots.
Izutsumi rested more in Senshi’s arms, closing her eyes slightly.
“Feeling sleepy, little one?” Senshi questioned, to which she insistently shook her head no. Izutsumi, determined to stay awake, wrestled herself away from being pet and forced herself up onto her feet. “Come on, you seem tired.”
“Nuh!” she declared, crossing her arms as her slightly baggy eyes betrayed her, and a yawn managed to escape her. However, she steeled herself and stamped her foot down. “Wan’ pway.”
Marcille giggled at the suggestion. “Play with what, kitty?”
Izutsumi blanched slightly upon realising she failed to think of anything to play with until this point. She then looked around, before glancing at Marcille’s staff and pointing to it. “Stick!”
Marcille’s eyes widened as she quickly went over and scooped up Izutsumi, cradling her close so the baby wouldn’t fight her way out. “No no no, no playing with my staff!”
Izutsumi whined. “Buh- buh I wan’ pway wif Ma’s stick-k-k” she complained, shocking the two with the nickname.
Surely, surely she just meant Ma as a shortening of Marcille.
Right?
At that moment, Marcille short-circuited, her face stuck in shock and confusion as Izutsumi desperately grabbed for her staff.
Senshi stepped in, taking hold of Izutsumi. “I know you want to play, but it’s bedtime now,” he reminded, setting her on his hip. “You want to be a good girl, don’t you?”
Izutsumi immediately stopped grabbing for the staff, tempted by the prospect of being a good girl. Obediently, she clung to Senshi. “Imma good girl!” she insisted, showing off her best kitty-cat eyes. “Can I geh a tweat if I good girl?”
Senshi, a little surprised, took some time to respond. He was rarely used to dealing with small children, so this was more than a little alienating at this point. But Izutsumi was just so cute, and Senshi knew caring for young’uns was his duty. So, he soldiered on, despite anxiety.
“Gwamps, pwease?”
Hang on, he was a grandfather now?
Senshi was similarly shellshocked, but by then Marcille was ready to reply in his place. “Yes yes kitten, we’ll get you a treat if you go to sleep like a good little girl, okay?”
“Yay!” she cheered, giggling. “Tank you Ma!”
Back to his senses, Senshi beamed with pride over how adorable Izutsumi is and took the time to carefully tuck her in, making sure to give her a few extra pets before she got fully settled in. Right before she fell asleep, Marcille leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead, which caused Izutsumi to purr appreciatively.
After that, Senshi and Marcille slept soundly, same with their little one.
Who knew the evening would end up so cute?
{ The Next Morning… }
The second that Izutsumi arose from her delicate slumber, she bolted up, ready to attack someone. Before her was the rest of her party, all dressed and waiting around as Senshi and Laios got the beginnings of their breakfast prepared.
Chilchuck and Laios looked her way warily, concerned as to why she arose so quickly. For Senshi and Marcille, it was sadly more than obvious.
The cat had awoken to dispense her wrath.
“Wh- why did you do all that!?!” she hollered, growling as she approached. The two defensively held up their arms, and Laios stood up before them, causing her to stop in her tracks.
“Do what?” he questioned naively, hoping he could solve this without any fighting. It was too early for that, and she was a party member. They all would work together, that’s what party members do!
Izustumi fumed, trying but failing to get past the immovable barrier that was Laios in his armour. “Those two-” she pointed to Senshi and Marcille, her claws ready to rip, “they humiliated me!”
Chilchuck suspiciously glanced at the other two, wondering what they did to get this reaction. You would think he would have picked up on what happened since he was still half-awake for the entire duration of it, but he was too tired to care about what was going on between the three. The only times he would pay attention was to tell them when they were too loud.
However, what he saw on their faces was not regret, or remorse over doing something harmful. His senses were on-point, and they clearly had not done anything wrong. At least, from their perspective.
In truth, Senshi and Marcille were devastated.
As Izutsumi stood there, glancing down at the two, she saw the same thing, which gave way to a mixed feeling of fury and worry. But she pushed forward. They thought they were helping, sure, but they pushed her. They made her give in to vulnerability. That was not her choice, she had no choice. The feelings were beyond her, out of her control. She could have kept them in control if she wasn’t manipulated.
However, before she could get at either of them, Laios held her back. “We don’t need to fight, please, just explain what happened, we can sort this out-”
“No!” she clawed at his face and moved to stand over Marcille, flashing her claws. “Say sorry, now!”
Marcille stammered, but swallowed some of her nerve. “But, you looked so happy, you said you wanted to be taken care of-”
“It must have been a curse!” she shouted. “You used your black magic on me, you messed with my mind, and that dumb dwarf just followed alo-”
She was cut off as Senshi stood up and grabbed her arm. “Izutsumi.” he demanded, using a commanding voice that rarely rolled off of his tongue. One that managed to get the cat to shut her trap. “No magic was used, and you asked for us to help you, so we did.” he explained, standing his ground proudly, though tears pricked the corners of his eyes. “We have done nothing but help you Izutsumi, please, calm down.”
Chilchuck decided to step up to the bat, because if this kind of conflict was going to continue, their chances of being able to get to Falin would only get lower. Though they were in too deep for anyone to consider ditching the party, they still needed trust to get through this. “Listen, if they did humiliate you, sure, get mad at them, but we need to stay together.”
Laios hesitantly spoke up as well, wanting to do his best. Though, as his party members kept saying, maybe he wasn’t good at social cues. But he had to try. “What even happened?”
Izutsumi, taking in all of that, lowered her stance, stepping back and tensing up. “I… I- last night, I had a hard time sleeping- and- and Marcille and Senshi treated me like a kid, and I started acting like I did when the magic made me…” she stopped herself, too ashamed to continue speaking.
Laios nodded along, recalling how she acted before. “And what is wrong with that?” he asked out of genuine confusion.
“I dunno, it just- I’m not a kid, I don’t deser- er- I mean, I don’t- need comfort like that!” she stammered, struggling to scrape together any confidence. Inwardly, she beat herself up over slipping up. She should just shut up, she should have never said anything. She needed to be taken seriously, they were in the lower levels of a dungeon, there was no time for anything like this. One small slip-up could get someone hurt, and so far it seemed to her like the party was not great at fighting. If they treated her like a child, then who knew what would happen.
“But do you want it…?” Senshi tensely asked, hoping she would come to realise the truth that seemed obvious.
…
“I don’t know.”
…
“But maybe I could try it again.”