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Shane texts her “you’re nominated for a kca” with no further context and Regina’s only a little bit concerned. She probably should know what a KCA is but Regina’s never been actually that invested in the awards and the ceremonies and whatever. The fact that Regina has to google what a KCA is is only kind of sad, especially because she was a child actress on Nickelodeon, but Regina has only a kind of bad memory, so she’ll blame it on that (Regina’s won multiple Kids’ Choice Awards but the horrible orange blimps live at her parents’ house).
“Wear something that you won’t hate to get dirty,” Shane tells her when they meet for brunch to go over her schedule, the week of the awards show.
“The fuck?”
“Trust me, okay?”
“Shane, baby, you’re about the last person I trust right now.”
“I’m literally your manager?” Shane’s confusion is a little too funny and Regina grins.
“Well, Cady is obviously at the top of the list, and then Karen and Gretchen—tied for second obviously. Mckenna is probably fourth, Kylie is fifth, and you’re at the bottom, wherever that is.”
Shane scoffs.
“Regardless of your trust in me, you’re going to the Kids’ Choice Awards. Thea is on hand if you need a stylist, but just make sure to tell her that it shouldn’t be too expensive.”
When Regina prods, Shane won’t elaborate, like the bastard that he is.
“You can bring a guest,” Shane says as he stands up to pay the bill. The teasing lilt to his voice makes Regina want to strangle him.
Regina asks Cady to go with her to the stupid award ceremony. Cady laughs and agrees easily.
“Soooo,” Cady starts, dropping herself onto Regina’s favourite armchair, “what category were you nominated for?”
“As if I know that shit, Cads, c’mon. Shane doesn’t tell me anything. The only thing he told me is that I shouldn’t wear anything that I don’t want to get dirty.”
Cady snickers, and Regina really doesn’t like the sound of that. Her girlfriend, a master of making things that feel only slightly wrong, incredibly lonely, a strange sort of melancholy, or horribly uncomfortable, only terrifies Regina sometimes. Cady might be embedded in the horror side of the internet but that doesn’t mean she should be creepy in person.
Regina forgets that she has this awards ceremony until Shane asks if she’s contacted Thea yet about her outfit for the show, the day before. When Regina blanks on why she would need to talk to Thea, she can feel Shane’s annoyance through the phone. Cady begs Janis to help with their predicament (Janis’s version of ‘help’ to give Regina the worst possible outfit recommendations until Regina threatens to slice her fingers off).
After forcing Janis to stop being a dick biter, Regina ends up in a pair of straight leg jeans that Kylie painted but hates now that her art style has evolved and a cropped cream coloured short sleeved linen button up. It’s not her greatest outfit, but it’s the best that she can do when she’s a little delirious from a combination of a lack of sleep, too much caffeine, and long days on set. Janis is less of a little shit stain when she does Regina’s make up. Surprisingly, Janis doesn’t paint her face in bright colours, instead emphasising her cheeks and freckles. The boldest that she gets is a dark red lipstick and eyeliner to match, but it’s hard to tell behind her pink tinted glasses.
The orange carpet is a sort of goofy affair. Regina is the most casually dressed out of everyone but she doesn’t mind that much. Her mother would be having an aneurysm if she saw the way Regina is dressed (she probably is, actually). With her fingers tangled in Cady’s, Regina takes pictures with a handful of other people that she knows. With an easy glance, Regina leaves Cady on the walkway to ambush Mckenna while she’s posing for the paparazzi. Regina, who stopped caring so much about her public perception, jumps on Mckenna’s back and aggressively sings “Right Now” by Hastings, which had been Regina’s song of choice the last time that she, Mckenna, and a handful of friends went to karaoke (distinctly different from Karaoke Kaos).
“Right now, somehow, I kinda wonder where you are. Right now, cause right now I'm kinda falling apart. Baby can I come over, start all over again? We were so bad for each other but that was back then,” Regina practically yells into Mckenna’s ear.
The two of them had been up way too late on a night shoot for a short film that Mckenna helped write, and both of them are only a little insane at UCLA’s Pauley Pavilion, as they should be. Cady laughs as she walks over, Regina and Mckenna still harassing each other. Thank God that this is Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards because they’re so unserious and Regina can fool around with Mckenna.
They walk into the stadium and find their seats, and it’s far too vibrant for Regina. There’s a couple categories before the category that Regina’s nominated for is announced.
“You’re going to have to come up with an acceptance speech, you know?” Cady whispers as they announce the winner for Favourite Movie.
Regina makes a face and hopes that it’s not on camera. After a handful of speeches, Mckenna walks on stage with someone else that Regina doesn’t recognise.
“We’re presenting one of the hottest categories! It includes the biggest, boldest, most buzzworthy actresses of the year!”
Regina hates how stupid Mckenna sounds reading the script because there’s no other instance where she sounds like she’s reading, especially when she’s a whole actress. Mckenna and this other person that she doesn’t know jointly announce Regina George as the winner.
Cady laughs when Regina makes a face as her name is called. Regina ambles up to the stage and accepts her blimp trying to think of something appropriate to say.
“Thank you, ThemBob,” she starts. “You’re all very well dressed and cute, so thank you all for voting for me.”
Holding the blimp and grinning instead of doing a genuine speech, just listening to the kids in the crowd cheer for her.
And then green slime is launched at her. Regina has the wherewithal to close her mouth before the slime reaches her face. She closes her eyes at the same time, accepting her defeat. She’s sure she looks incredibly stupid and that Cady and Mckenna are laughing at her. Once she’s sure that slime isn’t being launched anymore, Regina flips her hair and quips “Thanks, ThemBob.”
Walking back down the little catwalk stage, Regina turns to her right instead of her left which would take her backstage, she runs at Mckenna, who shrieks and runs in her heels away. Feeling like a cartoon villain, Regina says “I’m gonna getcha!” as she lifts her arms and slowly chases her friend around the stage. The fact that she can fool around on national television is freeing, even though Regina’s acutely aware that everyone can see her being stupid.
Backstage, Regina doesn’t wipe any slime on Mckenna’s dress because she asks her to not get slime on her. With help from some producers, Regina gets cleaned up as best she can, though slime is quickly drying on her jeans and shirt. The producer promises that it’ll all wash out, but that doesn’t mean that she wants to sit in her now crusty jeans.
When Regina returns to her seat, Cady is still laughing. Regina rolls her eyes and presses a kiss to Cady’s temple.
“Thanks for the warning, asshole.”
“You should have known, especially because Shane basically told you.”
“I–” Regina pulls a face. “I haven’t been to one of these since I was like, ten, or something.”
“And you say I live under a rock.”
“Ugh, kill yourself, Cads.”
“You literally can’t say that to me here, Regina; there’s children around!”