Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter: Prologue.

Janus was moving along the marketplace. The old lady, a wise woman by the name of Hanna, owner of the herbalist shop, had given him a list of important things to keep in stock. it was written simply, compared to her otherwise beautiful calligraphy, knowing her pupil was struggling with the more flowy letters.

He bought everything from meat, bread and honey, to rare herbs and tools to make it easier to tend to dried herbs to get the right properties from their parts.

He was perusing some vegetables on one of the stalls when his ears snapped up a conversation between the stall owner and two other women.

They were talking about rumours of people having caught sight of a pack of werewolves roaming the nearby mountain hills. Rumours of these kinds were not uncommon in the small trading town, but they also weren't constant. Which made the rumours more believable.

And with the rumours small sliver of being true, the sightings of groups of Hunters grew in numbers.

All wearing colours from different guilds, passing through the town. Some spent most time in the town gathering information. Others went to the surrounding forests and fields, investigating for tracks, or any sign of wickedness running afoot. 

All in order to bring the presumed monsters to justice and get good coin for their endeavours.

Janus kept out of their way, sticking to the routine he had grown accustomed to since arriving at the town, and started working/learning under Hanna’s watchful eyes. Foraging for herbs, roots, mushrooms and more from the forests nearby before dawn.

Trudging back to the herbalist shop, he hung up the herbs that needed to be dried and carefully, but skilfully, dealt with the already dried ones. Gathering the seeds or grinding them to fine powder.

After that he checked up on his stocks on teas, medicine, oils, ointments and salves. If any were starting to run low he would spend his day refilling the things needed, or go out to gather other components for the potions and saves, such as honey and wax from the beekeepers.

At times when customers came in with prescriptions from any of the town's many doctors, Hanna had told him what to do and he happily took care to mix and prepare what they would need while explaining the what's and how's, about what they’ve been prescribed and on how to best treat whatever ailment they had.

Other times the requests for aid came in a letter, and at the beginning, he hadn’t understood anything written, Hanna had quickly taken it upon herself to start teaching him the basics of the alphabet, before steering him in the direction of a scholar she knew, a grouchy old gentleman who begrudgingly taught Janus how to read and write, even if his handwriting was and would forever be atrocious and unreadable to most (even Janus himself).

Something every herbalist and apothecary knew.

It was a fact and a very important one at that.

Was that the Moon, a powerful mistress, infused magical power into everything.

Be it magic, plants, beast and monsters alike.

The full moon was the best time to collect the strongest magical herbs or make moon infused waters and brews.

Even Hanna knew this, but she was also extremely aware of the risks that going outside of the town’s outer walls and into the wilds during full moons could bring with it. She made sure he knew this as well and never forced him to go out into the night of the full moons. Instead they made due with the less powerful ingredients harvested after the full moon, even if the medicines, oils, salves and ointments were weaker than those who’s ingredients used the full moon’s enhanced herbs.

They still did their job, just not as quickly.

Janus hadn't complained, he was thankful for it, really. Because it meant he would be able to hide the truth he’d been carrying with himself for 7 years for longer.

For you see, before he arrived at the town, back during his wandering days when the truth was still fresh and damning, he had figured out a mix of herbs that combined knocked him out for a whole night if not more.

Sure… the dosage was extremely delicate, too much of either of the ingredients and a normal person wouldn’t be waking up in the morning.

But, he hadn’t been a normal person for years and this was a risk he was willing to take to not have to relive the horrors.

Hanna never found out about it, and he never told her.

Not feeling the need to make the old crone mother-hening him.

He was an adult and dealt with what life had given him like a reasonable man.

But Hanna had left him the shop when she retired due to her old age, having given in to her daughter in law’s worried nagging. Moving to live together with her and her son, and the children, in a port town down south.

Janus had missed her, but he was secure in his footing and she had taught him well on how to run the shop and all it entailed.

Things had been going well, good even.

But like all good things they eventually had to come to an end…

- - - o - - - 

It happened on a late December evening.

The Queen of Winter had shrouded the town and surrounding areas in a thick layer of white snow from her cloak.
Frosting up the big stained glass window of the herbalist shop with beautiful intricate patterns, that shimmered like diamonds in the day's faint sunlight.

Janus was checking his stock on dried herbs when the bell by the door gently chimed, as well as a cold gust of wind rushing with the opening of the door.

  “I’m terribly sorry, but we’re closed at this time. Please come back tomorrow.” Janus said, still distracted by what he was doing, sorting through some dry roots.

  “I’m not here to purchase.” A deep gruff voice answered, followed by heavy booted steps walking further into the shop, poking at drying herbs or picking up random oils and salves from the shelves. “What a shabby little shop..” Janus heard them murmur to themselves.

Janus slowed in what he was doing, turning his head around from the open small drawer in the wall of shelves, full of small drawers, most filled to the brim with dried herbs, teas and roots. The man that was standing on the middle of the shopfloor stood out like a sore thumb. Their dark clothes of the Hunters Guild seemed to bristle at the colourful interior and the low level magic that the herbalist shop contained. Not from Janus’s doing mind you, it was left over magic from Hanna as well as the low magic from the potions and herbs infused with the weakened moon magic.

Janus pushed the drawer closed to turn and give the Hunter his full attention. Trying his best to school his features to a mask of calmness, holding his hands behind his back to hide the slight tremble to his hands from the anxieties that were growing in the pit of his stomach whenever a Hunter got too close to him.

  “If you’re not here to buy… then if you don’t mind me asking, why are you here?” Janus glanced at the clock; it was almost nine. “At this hour no less?”

The Hunter gave him a once over, eyes grey as the winter sky.

  “There’s been rumours of a beast roaming the forest…” they started

  “Nothing new really, those rumours, they tend to come and go as they please.” Janus huffed with a shrug. He wasn’t lying either. The rumours of beasts and creatures of magic were many and most tended to make a trip around the town before being brought up again.

The Hunter watched him, before walking closer to the counter, the only thing keeping them apart.

  “I’ve also found it interesting that for a herbalist, with such a trafficked shop that’s well known even outside of this town… that you do not use the powerful herbs infused by the full moon’s magic, why is that?” The Hunter leaned one elbow on the counter, tilting their head in question, making their dark brown almost black hair fall onto their forehead.

  “Nights during the full moon are a dangerous time to be outside of the city walls. Even more so if those rumours of beasts and monsters lurking around were to be true. I would rather not test it, I’m sure you understand.” the Hunter raised one eyebrow at that “I mean look at me.” a chuckle left Janus’s lips as he gestured to all of himself, he wasn’t the most muscular, more on the slightly scrawny side, there was no way he would win against a monster.

He wasn’t sure what the Hunter was trying to get at.

The Hunter only hummed, tilting their head to the other side and Janus tried to not freeze up as their eyes, as cold as the winter sky seemed to look right through him, as the Hunter observed him.

  “You’re strong, I'm sure you will be fine if you equip yourself with a silver sword.” Janus tried not to shiver at the mention of silver, just thinking about the holy metal made his skin crawl.

  “Oh I couldn’t possibly use a sword, I’m not as strong as I look. This is what chopping firewood and good food does for a man.”

The Hunter only hummed again, Janus was getting unnerved by their stare and wanted him out of his shop as fast as possible.

  “Now, as much as I’d like to keep this conversation going… My shop is closed and it is late. So if there isn’t anything else.” Janus gestured to the door. “Please leave.”

The Hunter just chuckled, a noise that caused the hairs on Janus’s neck to stand on end.

  “You’re not a witch… this place has too little magic for that to be true, even if the previous owner was one. This place is no longer a witch's cottage, it’s not personal enough for that…” the Hunter drawled looking around, before letting their eyes land on Janus once more.

  “What?” Janus blinked, confusion clear on his face as his mask slipped for just a moment.

  “No, no, you’re not a witch… but you’re not entirely human either… now are you.” the Hunter murmured, frosty grey eyes boring into Janus’s amber ones.

An uncomfortable, and slightly stressed laugh left Janus’s lips at the prolonged stare.

  “I’m human, I can assure you.”

A neutral hum was all that left the Hunter as they straightened up from where they had been leaning against the counter. Turning to move towards the door, their black cloak billowing out behind them with the moment.

  “Oh, I forgot to mention one thing…” the Hunter started, coming to a halt after only three steps, Janus frowned slightly.

  “Oookay?” Janus drawled, unsure.

Something in the air seemed to have shifted the moment the Hunter stopped.

Something made his instincts urge him to get ready, but he didn’t know for what or why. 

Then, before Janus had time to react, the Hunter spun around.

Arm pulled back and threw something at him with force.

Janus had no time to react or see what it was before the pain struck him.

Burning as it seared into his skin.
It felt as if the hunter had thrown hot coals at him. 

Janus howled in pain.

Throwing his hands up to claw at his face, stumbling backwards in an aborted motion to get away from the pain.

Back slamming into the shelf behind him.
Causing some drawers to get knocked out and crash to the floor.

He managed to open one of his eyes despite the pain, vision blurry and tinted red.

He caught sight of dried petals scattered on the flat surfaces of the floor and counter.

In an instant he knew what the Hunter had thrown at him.

Wolfsbane.

The only plant that was almost as lethal to werewolves as silver .

  “ Shit! ”

Chapter Text

Chapter: 1.

Janus’s mind was going haywire with panic and pain. The Hunter knew.

The Hunter knew .

The

Hunter

Knew!

  “ Shit !” Janus hissed out through clenched teeth

The sound of a sword getting unsheathed caused Janus to flinch and snap his attention back to the Hunter, who was grinning.

Grinning!

Janus's breath was picking up speed, one eye swollen shut from the damage the wolfsbane had caused and he knew he would have scars across most of his face from how much it burnt.

If he survived this that is.

  “Oh~ I knew it.” The Hunter laughed, holding a short-sword in one of their hands, it shimmered in the light from the lanterns in the shop and Janus felt his blood freeze when he realised it wasn’t just a well sharpened sword, but a well sharpened sword that had been coated in a layer of silver ! 

He was trapped.

The Hunter was between him and the way out.

And Janus knew Hunters never let their prey go without a fight.

Janus’s heart sped up from fear and adrenaline.

He had to get out.

He had to get out!

The Hunter was talking again, but Janus couldn’t focus on their voice.

His eye flickered around, trying to find anything that would save him or help him get out of this alive.

Janus yelped and stumbled to the side when the Hunter suddenly lunged, their sword getting caught in the soft wood of the drawers, they cursed and Janus scrambled away, almost falling over the knocked out drawers that lay on the floor in a great mess of herbs, dried leaves and roots. The Hunter gave away a shout and took off after him the moment they got their sword out of the wood. Janus grabbed anything he could get to throw back at the Hunter to try and slow them down.

But the Hunter was a Hunter.

And Janus…

Janus hadn’t shifted or let the wolf do anything for so long, he at times feared he had forgotten how to shift all together.

A kick to his side sent him crashing into a shelf that held potions, salves and tea blends.

He groaned, internally mourning the lost materials as crashes of glass breaking and more things hitting the floor reached his ringing ears.

He forced one eye open only to hiss when the Hunter stalked towards him sword held at the ready, Janus barely managed to move more than to fall over to his side when the silver sword pierced into his side, digging deep into the flooring as well with how sharp it was.

The silver instantly burned and Janus screamed, hands scrambling against the floor.

He grunted when a heavy boot stepped onto his back, pinning him to the floor in more ways than one.

  “This is almost disappointing.” The Hunter huffed. “You got to be the most pathetic werewolf I have ever met.”

Janus coughed, the heavy weight of the Hunter making it hard to breathe, he turned his head enough to catch a glimpse of the Hunter’s face. Their expression was bored, but their grey eyes were wild and hungry “And I have met many. All meeting their end at my hand.”

Janus shivered, the pain from the silver and the burning from the wolfsbane made him feel awful.

At this point… if the Hunter didn’t kill him…

Janus didn’t know if he would survive or not.

Silver was no joking matter, it poisoned everything it touched, making it sick.

Wolfsbane just blazed and burnt. If left on the skin for too long it would start eating away at it. 

  “But you… I almost feel sorry for you.” The Hunter drawled, tone almost apathetic pity. “You’ll die without putting up a fight.”

Janus stiffened.

He was going to die.

He didn’t want to die.

He didn’t want to die like this!

Something shifted internally at that moment.

Some invincible barrier starting to give in

Cracking

Shattering

From one moment to the next an unfamiliar, almost terrifying strength filled him, as his mind was overpowered by unfamiliar instincts.

In reality it all happened in a couple seconds.

But to Janus it felt as if time slowed to a thick syrup.

A snarl pulled his lips back

His teeth grew sharper and longer.

His nails dug into the floor, darkening as they changed to sharp claws.

Black fur spurted from his skin and his brown hair darkened to merge with the fur.

His eyes glowed yellow as his pupils shrank to pinpricks.

He could even feel every moment of the way his bones started to change and shift, feeling joints pop and stretch.

A tail grew from nothing as his ears grew furred and moved to be further up his head.

His clothes started to tear and rip, not made for the shape he was taking.

The pain from the wolfsbane died down as his face contorted from human to wolf, The pain from the silver intensified with the transformation. 

The Hunter stumbled backwards, unable to keep their boot on his back when his shape grew and changed, losing grip for their sword that was lodged into the floor.

A mass of black fur moved before intense yellow eyes pierced the Hunter.

A deep growl grew in the wolf’s chest as its lips pulled back revealing knife sharp teeth. 

  “Oh ho ho ho! Now we’re talking~” the Hunter laughed, moving their hand to grab a dagger from their belt.

The gigantic wolf acted quicker than the Hunter anticipated.

Tearing itself free from the silver sword with a snarl before lunging, knocking the Hunter over with its mass of muscle and fur, before jumping at the stained glass window to escape.

The colourful glass of the window shattered into a myriad of pieces that shimmering like stars in the light of the lantern from inside the shop and the waning moon that lit up the night sky.

The wolf crashed into the snow dune outside, staining it with dark blood and a couple tufts of fur. Long unfamiliar limbs tangling on themselves. It pushed itself up, giving its head a shake, claws digging into the icy snowy cobblestones, as it took off at a speed that would have been impossible considering the damage it had sustained. It ran along the streets, causing the few townspeople who were still outside despite the hour to give away frightened screams and scramble to hide, or get out of the monster's way. 

The Hunter cursed as they hurried out of the shop, snatching their musket from their back, hidden by their cloak, as they skidded to a stop in the middle of the street.

The gun was already loaded and ready.

The Hunter aimed at the retreating shape of the gigantic wolf.

And fired.

The gunshot echoed loudly across the streets of the town.

The silver bullet shot through the air.

Avoiding the body of the wolf by a hair, as it slipped on some black ice, but the bullet managed to snatch a bit of the wolf's right ear before hitting the plastered wall of one of the houses with a loud thud. 

The Hunter cursed, running after the wolf, shouting orders for the people to stay back.

The chase went through most of the town, the wolf having no clear direction it was going, before it managed to reach the big square that was before the town gate.

The gate was still open, not bound to close for another hour or so, to let the travellers who were moving about free entry or exit.

The guards startled at the sight of the beast skidding to a halt in the middle of the square. It lifted its head, eyes landing on the open gate and it burst into motion again.

  “CLOSE THE GATE!” The Hunter hollered as they too reached the square, the guards sprung into action, grabbing the ropes from their anchors that kept the gate open in order to lower it.

The gate rattled as it started its descent, slowly as the guards slowly let the rope move to make sure the gate didn’t go down too fast and hurt someone.

The wolf sped up.

The Hunter hefted up their musket once more, aiming at the wolf’s form, only for nothing to happen when they pressed the trigger. They had forgotten to reload it!

The Hunter cursed, putting the weapon away before running after the wolf.

The gate slammed loudly into the ground.

The Hunter was unable to stop in time and slammed chest first into the wood, grabbing the bars with an angry snarl.

The wolf had escaped.

Turning to the guards the Hunter shouted curses at them while also telling them

to open the gate once more, before searching for the wolf’s retreating mass.

As the clock struck 9 and the chiming bells of the town’s church filled the air.

The wolf ran across the snow covered field and vanished into the sleeping forest’s dark curtain.

Only sign it had even been there was the rushed trail of big clawed paw prints and droplets of dark blood that covered the pure snow and a couple of the town’s cobbled streets as well as the plastered walls of some of the houses the wolf had crashed into while turning in the narrow pathways of the town’s streets.

- - - o - - - 

When the truth came out.

That the kind and gentle herbalist, that Hanna had taken under her wing, had been a werewolf in disguise, people talked.

Some were aghast, demanding the Hunter deal with the beast, accordingly.

Others, less outspoken, mourned the loss of the gentle boy who would help anyone if he could, coin be damned.

Janus himself had no time to think of the life he had been forced to leave behind. The only thing filling his mind was instinctual fear, panic and the need to keep running no matter what.

Stopping meant the Hunter would catch up to him.

Stopping meant death .

He might not want to live in general with the curse the werewolves had forced upon him. But dying at the hands of a Hunter? No. That was not how he wanted to go either.

Janus wasn’t sure for how long or how far he had been running when his steps started to falter and he no longer could keep the intense pace he had to his gallop. The sky was growing brighter in the east as he slowed to a trot, that quickly with his waning energy turned to a slow walk.

Stumbling forward through the thick snow that covered the forest floor.

The beech trees were huge, showing their old ancient age, their smooth grey bark covered by a thin layer of frost, skilfully placed by a gentle caress from the Winter Queens fingers.

Janus stumbled as one of his front paws caught on a hidden root amongst the snow. Once he caught his balance his chest heaving from harsh breaths, the air clouding before his face.

His legs trembled from the strain running for so long with a steadily growing blood loss put on him.

But he couldn’t stop, he had to keep moving.
The further away he got the harder it would be for the Hunter to catch up to him.

He pushed himself to take another step, energy depleted.

The world lurched as he collapsed into a heap sinking into the soft snow at the foot of one of the gigantic beech trees.

His remaining energy was waning quickly.

The cold of the snow and winter night was creeping through his thick fur.

The snow around him grew dark from the blood leaving his side, had it been a wound by any other weapon it would have healed by now, but silver with its poison made everything sick.

His vision blurred as his eyelids fluttered, keeping them open becoming a greater struggle.

The old forest was quiet…

The only sound was the wind playing, dancing between the thick trunks of the trees pulling up loose snow from the ground or low hanging branches and sending it flying out.

The silence also allowed Janus to hear his heart beat, it was steady, but growing slower. He knew he was dying.

He could feel himself dying.

The cold creeped into his limbs making them numb and heavy.

He closed his eyes, unable to keep them open any longer.

This was how he went out?

Bleeding to death from a Hunter’s wound surrounded by nothing but uncaring snow and sleeping trees?

It was almost a bit comical. If he had had the energy, he might have laughed at the situation.

But as the cold grew stronger, and the sky grew brighter…

He started to accept the situation more and more.

Steps…

The ear that wasn’t deep in the snow twitched weakly when it picked up the sound.

The sound of them moving closer made him muster up whatever energy he had left to open one eye.

His vision was blurry to the point he could barely see anything. But through the blurriness he managed to see a bipedal shadow moving towards him.

Had the Hunter caught up to him?!

That should be impossible!

He had been running for so long!

The shadow moved closer.

A weak growl grew in his chest.

He might be lying at the doorstep of death’s door, but he wasn't going to let whoever or whatever this thing was have him! Not without a fight!

  “ Shhhhhh… easy young one. I mean you no harm. ”

The voice was not the voice of the Hunter.

It was calm even if it was a bit monotone in tone it still held a caring note to it. Janus fought the urge to relax, it could be a trick.

The shadow moved closer and crouched down at his side.

Janus was too tired to move, he growled a bit louder in warning though.

But the shadow didn’t seem bothered since he felt a hand card through the fur on his neck, in such a gentle, soothing manner, the growl slowly died down.

His eyes closed on their own accord.

  “ Oh spirits, what have the Hunters done to you? ” the shadow hissed when their hand reached the wound on his side, clearly not expecting a reply.

Janus opened his eyes weakly when he felt the same hand gently brush the fur on his cheek that wasn’t hidden in the snow.

The shadow looked right back and all Janus could see was blue .

Their eyes were blue.

So so blue.

Blue as the sky just after sunset or before sunrise.

That was the last coherent thought Janus had, before unconsciousness gently placed her hand on the small of his back.

He knew no more as he fell deep into her gentle embrace…

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 2.

Janus came too slowly…

His sensitive nose prickled from unfamiliar scents.

Slowly he managed to decipher the scent of burning firewood, spices, herbs and the lingering scents of foods and baked goods.

One of his black furred ears twitched as sounds started to filter through the fog of pain that filled his mind. The gentle crackling from a fireplace nearby, as well as someone moving about. Steps were moving closer across a wooden floor.

Janus stiffened, shifting a bit there he lay, a growl growing in his chest. He struggled to push himself up on his hindlegs, growling at whoever was approaching as he struggled to open his eyes.

  “ Now now, don’t growl at me. I’m here to help you. ”

Janus stilled, the growl sputtering to a stop, that was the voice he heard before losing consciousness. He tried to focus his blurry vision on the person and the same blue he had seen before blackness took him looked right back.

Janus wasn’t sure what to do.

His mind was foggy and now very empty as the sight of the blue made all his thoughts come to a halt.

  “ Easy… You’re still hurt, I haven't been able to clean the wound from silver yet. But… now that you’re awake. ” they crouched down, sitting on their knees, before him, eyes gentle. “ I need you to shift for me. I can heal you much easier if you’re in your human shape. ”

Janus blinked, he didn’t even know if he could .

He didn’t even remember how he shifted in the first place!
It had all been instincts from a deep down need to survive.

But if it meant the pain would cease…

Janus closed his eyes and tried to focus.

Focus on his body.

The moment he did he realised just how alien the wolf felt. It made his skin crawl in a way he didn’t like, his teeth were too long, too sharp, his limbs were all wrong and his skin felt twisted and the fur stung like needles.

He tried to focus on his body.

His real body, not this cursed blasphemous monster that he had shifted to.

Slowly he felt something happen.

And unlike the first shift during the battle with the Hunter.

Janus was barely able to focus on anything as the moment the shift happened, the burn from the wolfsbane returned tenfold when the cursed petals touched his skin once more and the shift pulled at his torn flesh.

Janus’s already fogged mind from what he now vaguely realised was likely due to a high fever couldn't take anymore.

He lost consciousness once more.

Hearing the person give away a startled call.

The last coherent sensations he noted before darkness claimed him was the following:
A strong scent of wet earth and a softer underlying scent of lavender, and the unfamiliar feeling of being held in a pair of strong arms…

- - - o - - - 

Logan had been out gathering herbs and roots that grew more potent during the winter, when he felt the air shift.

The sleeping forest had become part of Logan’s domain after he built his cottage with the twins's blessing.

Being attuned to nature he noticed the way the sleeping trees seemed to wake for a moment, waking at the arrival of something passing the border.

Something different that hadn’t been in the forest before.

Something new.

If Logan were to be honest, moving towards the location the trees murmured over.

Of all the things he had been expecting to find… a werewolf wasn’t one of them.

The wolf was big, bigger than any normal wolf Logan had ever seen, fur dark, almost as black as the night sky. 

Moving closer, a growl started to rise from the wolf’s chest.

Not dead yet it would seem.

Logan paused to take everything in, the slumped form of the wolf and the blood that stained the snow red. He knew that if he left the werewolf alone, it would die. From either blood loss or freezing to death.

  “Shhhhhh… easy young one. I mean you no harm.” Logan spoke, voice gentle to not spook the clearly distressed creature.

Once he was sure the wolf wouldn’t try to lunge at him, he moved closer. Putting the basket with the herbs and roots down on the snow to give the wolf a once over, catching sight of the damage at their side when he moved his orb of light to hover over the wolf’s body. 

Another growl came from the wolf but Logan was too focused on the wound at the side. The fact that it hadn’t already healed meant it wasn’t a wound from another animal or magical creature.

He reached forward, placing his hand on the wolf’s neck to offer comfort.

The growl died out, Logan let his magic move around to gather just how bad the situation was. In a gentle blue, the magic swirled around like a thin smoke, noting damage to the face and once it moved lower it flinched away from the silver left in the wound with a static hiss.

  “Oh spirits, what have the Hunters done to you?” Logan murmured to himself, brushing his hand through the thick dark fur.

The wolf didn’t reply.

Logan let his hand move to the wolf’s cheek, to inspect the damage, but he couldn't see it clearly with all the fur.

The wolf opened their eyes slowly and Logan blinked back at a pair of eyes the colour of amber. The werewolf’s eyes rolled back and they went fully limp.

Logan made a startled noise but calmed when his magic could still detect their weak heartbeat.

Logan knew the werewolf was very much toeing the line to the other side.

And that they would very much die if left alone with no help.

The wolf was also extremely big.

If Logan had to gauge, if the wolf stood normally their withers would reach Logan’s sternum, and he himself wasn’t short.

So now came the question, how would he go about getting the wolf back to the cottage?

It ended up being simpler than he thought.

The wolf was big, but despite that they weren’t the most heavy thing Logan had carried. Using his magic to ease the load a bit it was almost as if he was carrying a sack of flour bought from the mill. If the sack of flour had four limbs and was covered in fur.

The sky had changed from the deep blues and blacks of the night, to gentle yellows, oranges and blues of morning once Logan reached the cottage. 

He opened the small wooden gate with a small spin of a finger, passing underneath the wide arch of ivy that went above the gateway, the wood of the climbing plant thick enough you could no longer grab around it with one hand at the base. Windchimes, gems and stones hung from simple threads, to ward off evil and protect the heart of Logan’s domain: his garden, well and cottage, as well as a lantern that lit up at sundown and burned through the night until the sun returned, in a gentle orange hue. 

A weak whine left the wolf and Logan hurried his steps, hearing the soft click of the gate closing behind him.

The weathered door of the cottage was pushed open by his magic, and he let it place the basket on the small table by the door, while he himself moved into the living room.

The Cottage may look small on the outside, but thanks to magic, it was much much bigger on the inside.

Housing a big kitchen with a stove, oven, a working water system for the sink and shelves to store jars and flasks of food and spices.

A living room with a big handcrafted couch, soft from usage. A fireplace that warmed the whole lower floor when lit and a couple carpets and rugs to keep the chill from the wooden flooring at bay.

A small library almost overflowing with informative books, all from flora, magic and myths, to books on ancient knowledge that the church had made taboo, while most flat surfaces apart from the bookshelves were filled with books, the smaller couch and armchair made it very cosy, even more so when the light from outside shone in from the stained glass window, the edges covered by more ivy and other evergreen plants.

That made up the first floor. 

To get to the second floor you had to walk up a staircase, seemingly made from one singular tree, since there was no nail nor wooden seam to indicate it had been wood crafted. Having been shaped by magic when Logan built the cottage.

The second floor was made up of an open space full with plants and some more bookshelves placed between the doors to the bedrooms.

There was Logan’s personal bedroom, the door a deep cornflower blue painted with both a floral and a star themed pattern. The bedroom was full of plants, knick knacks, more books, magical items, gems and mobiles with everything from just gems and suncatchers hanging from them, to a big space themed one with stars, the moon, the sun and the planets.

The bed was nuzzled in between a desk and another bookshelf, big enough to fit two people comfortably, but Logan had been sleeping alone even before he built the cottage. 

The rest of the rooms on the second floor were all guest rooms in originality. Two had become the main room of two specific characters that had solidified their place in Logan’s life. 

- - - o - - - 

Logan gruntled as he placed the werewolf down on the floor before the fireplace, grabbing one of the thick quilts to cushion their head against the hard floor.

With his arms free he snapped his fingers, causing the fireplace to burst to life. The fire happily ate away at the firewood, hidden behind the protective cover around the fireplace, made from detailed brass works in order to make sure no rogue sparks or embers escaped the fireplace to land on the floor or on any of the rugs and carpets.

Logan rose from his kneeling position to go and gather the bandages and salves he would need to help speed up the healing process. He entered the kitchen, grabbing a ceramic bowl to fill with cold water, towels to clean the wound with and more items. 

He made his way back with his arms once more full when he noted that the wolf was moving. 

Oh… and growling at him once again.

  “Now don’t growl at me. I’m going to help you.” Logan huffed as he moved closer to the wolf who had stilled and thankfully stopped growling. Logan frowned when he saw how a puddle of blood was starting to grow underneath the wolf.

  “Easy… You’re still hurt, I haven't been able to clean the wound from silver yet. Although… now that you’re awake…” Logan crouched down before the wolf, placing down what he had brought with him onto the floor before quickly returning his attention to the wolf, eyes gentle. “I need you to shift for me. I can heal you so much easier if you’re in your human shape, my salves don’t work as well on top of fur.” 

The werewolf looked confused and dazed, an expression Logan hadn’t expected to see. Sure his knowledge on werewolves was not perfect. He had crossed paths with a few early on during his studies, under another witch when he was still a youngling, but he knew more than the Hunters did. The Hunters only cared about one thing.

The knowledge on how to kill.

From that expression alone, Logan started to wonder… What could cause a werewolf to be hesitant about shifting? From what he had understood It was as just as much a part of their being as magic was for Logan. 

The werewolf swayed a bit before they pushed themself to be sitting up more. They closed their eyes and exhaled in a huff.

Logan hadn’t witnessed a werewolf shift this close before, but he had seen the fey twins that resided in the forest, shift between different animal forms as if it was second nature. So seeing the change wasn’t a surprise.

What did surprise him though was that the moment the fur started to retreat back to reveal skin. It revealed not a body still clothed, but one very much nude.

Logan blinked in surprise and shock, shaking it off with a quick shake of his head. Deciding to keep his attention above the belt, for his peace of mind.

What Logan wasn’t expecting was for the werewolf to start falling the moment the shift ended. Eyes rolling back as they collapsed forward in a heap.

Logan made a panicked noise catching them against his chest before they hit their head on the floor.

The moment he made contact with their skin he felt just how hot the werewolf’s body was running.

Fever burning them from the inside out.

Logan could only hiss out a curse as he shifted his hold on the unconscious werewolf.

- - - o - - - 

Logan moved them so they lay down on the quilt once more, having his magic grabbing a couple more quilts from the couch to cover their lower body and to bundle them up in to keep them warm, despite the fever and fire.

Logan hissed  when he caught sight of just how bad the damage the wolfsbane had caused to the werewolf’s face. He hadn’t been able to see it with all the fur before, but now the wounds stood out clear against the werewolf’s pale feverish skin.

Logan knew that unless proper cleaning and care, the wounds would just fester and grow worse, sure the silver sickness needed to be taken care of as well, but between the two, the wolfsbane was more urgent.

Even if both wounds were urgent in their specific ways.

Grabbing the bowl of water and cloth, to start the cleaning process, Logan gave himself time to observe the person before him more closely.

Their face was speckled with faint freckles that Logan had a hunch would grow stronger once winter was over.

Their chin was covered in tufts of hair much thicker than the thin beard that went along their whole jawline. Their hair atop their head was a thick dark umber and if not drenched in sweat from the fever, it would be very fluffy.

They were young, if Logan had to estimate a guess they were somewhere around 20 to 30 years old. The only thing Logan was sure about was that they were an adult, but Logan had been around for a hundred years, almost two hundred and he knew magical creatures had longer lifespans than the normal human, so age was hard in general once magic was involved.

Logan finished cleaning the damage from the wolfsbane, grabbing another towel to dry it off before reaching for a jar that held a thick salve that would ease any kind of burn and rash and make wounds leave minimal scars. He evenly applied it over the wounds. Grabbing some bandages to cover the salve and wounds with, placing a soft clean cloth over the werewolf’s left eye before finishing the bandages on their face.

With the damage from the wolfsbane dealt with, Logan turned his attention to the other wound.

The stab wound that had become a slice wound. The cut was ugly and deep. It was bad, but the lack of any foul smell gave Logan hope, despite the fact it was still festered with silver... 

Logan moved so that he was kneeling near the wound. Grabbing the bowl of water again, he started cleaning away the blood around the wound, before raising his hand, making a swirling gesture with his hand that caused the water to rise up into the air, heeding his control. His eyes were glowing a gentle blue as he started to gently, so, so very gently, clean inside of the wound to get it free from the leftover silver.

As he moved the water along the entry wound outwards he could see the immediate effect the removal of the silver had, the steady flow of blood started to taper off as the wound started to slowly heal itself but it was a very slow process with how bad the werewolf was fairing.

Logan sighed once he was done removing all the silver, returned the now dirty water to the bowl, the only thing he had to really do now was stitch it together, to put the salve around the edges and cover it with a cloth and then wrap it with bandages.

Logan exhaled finally able to relax. With the worst wounds dealt with he could turn his attention to check the werewolf over more carefully, for more damage. Thankfully the only things he found were scrapes and bruises starting to bloom on their pale skin from the shuffle, but he also found old pale scars that were scattered over most of the werewolf's body.

Logan rose to his feet. Bringing the bowl with dirty water before going to find a pair of underpants to give the werewolf, in order for them to keep their dignity for whenever they would wake up.

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 3.

Four days had passed since the werewolf’s arrival.

They were still in bad condition, fever blazing high, leaving them barely conscious or lucid.

Logan did what he could, he searched his old tomes for any spell that would dispel a high fever, because the fever was the biggest problem.

It was slowing the healing.

Changing the bandages and cleaning the wounds often, yet he saw no clear sign of where the supposed inflammation had taken root to cause the fever. 

Didn’t help that the fever caused the werewolf to flail and trash due to the dreams it brought.

Cold compresses dipped in water filled with ice and snow, towels wrapped around snow only cooled down so much, before only becoming damp and soaking the werewolf’s burning skin.

Logan could feel himself nearing his wits end, cursing his younger selves lack of foresight in not putting more interest in the healing attributes of magic, apart from the healing attributes herbs and roots could bring, made stronger with magic and amplifying the healing process. The salves and potions he knew by heart only did so much, especially to someone who wasn’t lucid nor awake enough to consume them. Giving potions to someone who was barely conscious was a no no. 

Completely ignoring being the cause of Logan’s growing stress levels, the fever persisted.

- - - o - - -

Logan was almost asleep on the couch, when something like a knock came from the door.

Logan barely had time to contemplate if he had actually heard a knock or if his brain was so exhausted it started to hallucinate sounds, when the front door was pretty much kicked open followed by the loud holler of the shorter fey twins. 

  “REMUS IS HERE!”

  “WHY DID YOU KICK IN THE DOOR?!” came the taller twins aghast screech.

  “Logi took too long.”

  “You just knocked on the door!”

Logan exhaled with a groan, slumping more on the couch before he removed his glasses to scrub a hand over his face.

  “Please, you’re letting the cold in by arguing in the doorway.” he spoke up “Remus, if you broke my door, fix it.” Logan got to his feet. Moving towards the kitchen, because he knew the twins and they had the biggest sweet tooth Logan had ever known.

The twins jumped at the witch's voice, quickly scurrying inside.

Closing the door behind them, once more shut the freezing winter air outside.

Remus turned to the door and wiggled his fingers at it, causing the slightly bent wood, from the kick, to go back to how it had been before.

Roman made a slight whiny noise as he followed Logan into the kitchen like a lost puppy.

  “Logan, you can not believe what I have had to put up with-” Logan grabbed a hard candy from a glass jar, and handed it to Roman who instantly perked up. “Oh! Thank you! Anyway-” Roman started on a tirade on what had transpired since the twins left for the fey realm at the first snowfall last year.

Chaos that Remus had caused, older fey’s annoyance at the twins not being as strict, mean or as territorial as the other fey’s over their territories. As well as the fact that they weren’t much for tricking humans. 

Logan listened with half an ear as he grabbed another candy for Remus before returning to the living room, only to freeze in the doorway.

Roman made a small grunt, as he walked straight into Logan’s back, having not expected the witch to stop so suddenly.

Remus was crouched in a squat at the werewolf’s head, staring at them with a glint in his eyes. 

  “ Remus .” Logan said in warning, the shorter fey looked up, but didn’t move. “I allow him to be here.” As he said so he lobbed the candy towards the fey, Remus’s tense demeanour tawed in an instant as he caught the candy with his mouth and now looked less likely to pounce on the werewolf’s prone form. Now watching them with a more intrigued look, peering at them like a curious child.

  “What’s a werewolf doing here?” Roman asked, looking at Logan who sighed.

  “The trees alerted me of something entering the domain, but they didn’t tell me what it was about.”

  “Trees are never clear in their information when it’s winter, they’re too sleepy to make much sense.” Both Roman and Remus muttered under their breaths. Logan rolled his eyes in reply, he knew that already.

  “I went to the location they alerted me about, found him half dead at the trunk of an old beech tree. I've done what I can to heal him, but he has a really stubborn fever that's persisting and won’t let go. It has gotten to the point where the fever is halting their healing, but I can’t do anything else.”

Roman hummed rubbing at his jaw in thought.

  “That is a conundrum, fevers are annoying…”

  “Oh I know how to fix that!” Remus piped up with a big grin, licking his palm before slapping it across the werewolf’s face. Their body jerked at the sudden attack, making an aborted noise in the back of their throat.

  “REMUS!?” Logan and Roman shouted at the same time, Roman in surprise and Logan in stressed frustration. Rushing forward, pushing the fey out of the way to make sure the werewolf’s wounds hadn’t reopened or gotten more damaged at the sudden movement.

Remus fell over with a snicker, landing on his butt before crossing his legs and sitting on the floor.

  “Are you out of your mind! You can’t just hit a wounded creature!” Logan hissed as he checked the werewolf over. The only new damage he found was the sticky light reddish handprint that had started to take shape on their pale face.

  “I fixed the fever!” Remus whined “I smacked it down!“

  “You can’t just smack down a fever!” Logan stressed removing the compress from their forehead to wet it once more only to halt, when he noted that the intense heat that tended to radiate from the werewolf wasn't there any longer.

Logan dropped the cloth into the bowl of water, placing the back of his hands against the werewolf’s temples.

They were still hotter than normal, but the fever was no longer as high.

Logan could only blink as his brain tried to absorb the information.

  “You… slapped down the fever…? How?! How does that even work?!” Logan demanded, putting all his attention on Remus, who just shrugged.

  “I don’t know! It just works.”

  “But- HOW ?!”

  “ Ngk... loud.. ” came a small weak groan from the werewolf.

Logan instantly returned his attention to it to find how those amber coloured eyes once more blinked open, clearer than they had been, but still unfocused from the fever.

  “Oh thank the spirits you’re awake.” Their face scrunched up in confusion and exhaustion as they tried to focus their vision on Logan’s face. “You’ve been through a lot, young one. Rest . You’re safe here.”

The werewolf looked like they might want to argue, but their eyelids started to flutter close and it didn’t take long before they fell asleep once more. Now actually sleeping and not being in a fever inducing in between.

- - - o - - -

The following days were less stressful.

Despite that, the wounds still took their sweet time healing.

Janus in his moments of wakefulness was glad to be back in his own body.

Even if the wolf had saved him from certain death. He still didn’t particularly like it .

The damage caused by the wolfbane healed first, leaving pinkish scars along the left side of his face. Janus grimaced internally when he caught sight of them in a mirror or in the reflection of the tea or soup Logan brought him.

Logan checked his eye for damage once the bandages were removed, thankfully the dried wolfsbane leaves the hunter had thrown at his face hadn’t damaged his vision.

Janus was pretty sure he was well enough to be up and moving, to at least do something to repay the witch for their kindness in healing him, but Logan was steadfast in keeping him on bedrest. Only really letting him move if he had to get to the outhouse, now that he was awake to do so.

Being awake and able to move much more Logan had handed him some clothes to borrow, they were a bit too big while also too small, a loose bone white shirt that was definitely too big for him and a pair of brown trousers that were a bit too narrow at the waist.

Being confined to the pile of blankets or as Roman had put it, the “nest”, that had, upon his awakening, been moved to the couch. Janus spent most of his time sleeping, and if he wasn’t sleeping he was observing the living space around him or just thinking. 

The cottage felt strangely familiar in a way he couldn't explain, he chalked it up to the general vibe reminding him of Hanna’s shop. If the Hunter was to be trusted she had been a witch, not that Janus had cared much about that, back then. He had just been happy to find a job, the fact it felt familiar might be due to that.

Magic. 

Logan checked over the wound on his side once every other day, Janus had felt a bit awkward the first time, both with the fact that he hadn’t had anyone apart from himself check up on him and that the people who came to him for aid rarely made much contact with him apart from grabbing or shaking his hands in gratitude or desperation. 

Despite that, Logan’s presence was strangely calming. Janus mutely wondered if it had to do with the fact that the witch had saved his life, no questions asked, and thus the wolf had decided him to be safe.

The first time Janus ventured outside besides going to the outhouse, two weeks had passed. His side still ached, even with the skin having healed over, Logan still told him to take it easy. Despite the thick layer of snow the witch’s garden was still very much alive, albeit most of the plants sleeping.

The humm in the air from the magic made him feel strangely content. 

He heard a crackle followed by a shout of indignation.

Janus turned towards the sound to find how the fey twins had turned the open space between the beech trees outside of the garden into a battlefield.

Snowballs of varying sizes stuck to the trunks of the trees from missed throws.

The twins themselves were pretty much drenched from the melted snow, but the cold didn’t seem to bother them.

The twins made him uneasy in a way he couldn’t explain, he guessed it had to do with him never having interacted with the fey before, and all the myths and warnings about dealing with the fey were clear in his mind.’

  “You don’t have to worry about the twins. They’re chaotic, but they won’t trick you into giving them your name.”

Janus jumped, turning around to find how Logan had walked up behind him, holding a small weaved basket, containing some vegetables and jars, at his hip. “Roman takes names very seriously and finds more honour in being trusted with a name through honesty, than trickery. Remus won’t say it, but he’s the same.”

  “How did you know you could trust them?” Janus wondered, shuddering a bit as a cold breeze tried to snatch the heat from his body, causing him to huddle a bit more under the thick knitted shawl that he used to keep most of the winter chill out. He hadn't planned to be out for long.

Logan shrugged in reply.

  “It felt right. They allowed me to build my cottage in their forest and make it part of my domain without much fuss.” the witch turned to move back towards the cottage’s front door, becoming Janus to follow.

He hadn’t missed the slight shiver that had started to climb along the werewolf’s arms and shoulders.

Returning inside Janus realised just how cold he had gotten, giving away a shudder as he rubbed at his arms.

The warmth that the nest was likely to contain beckoned him like a siren-

  “Would you like to help me with dinner?” Logan asked, Janus blinked, tearing his attention away from the nest of blankets on the couch to look back at Logan who was giving him a questioning look. “You don’t have to join me, if you have other plans.”

  “Mm… not really, sure. What do you want me to do?”

  “What do you feel comfortable doing?”

Making of the dinner was a bit of an disorganised affair, with Janus not knowing where anything was in the kitchen, and Logan suddenly realising he was awful at explaining exactly where ingredients or specific items were located, since he never gave it much thought when working on his own.

Despite the slightly burnt and overseasoned food, the result was still edible, just not as great as it could have been.

Janus tried to apologise, but Logan just waved it away.

Nothing had burnt too badly and the kitchen was still functional.

All in all, Logan made it clear Janus was a much better assistant than either of the twins.

Janus couldn’t help the startled laugh that broke past his lips when Logan retold the horror story that became of his kitchen the first time he ever let the twins help him cook.

- - - o - - -

A few day’s later Janus exited the outhouse, late at a random night, when he noticed the moon’s light colouring the snowy landscape silver. He turned his head to look at the moon only to feel his blood freeze.

It was the first quarter.

The moon would be full in about a week's time.

Just as quick  as that realisation hit, Janus remembered the fact that he didn’t have his concoction of herbs.

They were still in the shop back in the town he had been forced to run from when the Hunter attacked.

  “ Shit ” Janus hissed under his breath, stress clear on his tone, he had to find the herbs quickly before the full moon hit.

He despised the wolf, and was sceptical of it in general, but he didn’t trust it with anything during the full moon!

Janus mulled his options over, it wasn’t like he could ask Logan to get the herbs for him, that would raise too many flags. He was certain the witch was well aware of the dangers his concoction could bring.

Janus knew the dangers well, but he was even more certain that he was NOT about to let the wolf destroy this place during the full moon’s arrival in its rampage. Logan didn’t deserve that after taking care of him and helping him heal.

Janus also knew that he couldn’t stay at the cottage forever, he understood if Logan wanted to keep him there to keep an eye on his wounds, but once he was fully healed Janus wouldn’t be surprised if he was to be politely asked to leave. Janus would.

If he just got far enough away he would likely be fine and Logan and the twins wouldn’t be put at risk of the Hunter if they decided to keep the chase going. 

Looking for the herbs, while also appearing as if he wasn’t internally panicking and stressing over the ever dooming arrival of the full moon, Janus spent more time outside of the cottage than before.

Having bundled up more to handle the cold winter air he finally took time to check over what the witch’s garden and the landscape around it contained.

Despite the chill in the air Janus could catch the vague scent of the herbs that were hidden under layers of snow, as well as the few sleeping vegetable plants and bushes.

None of them were the herbs he needed. 

Janus worried his lip as he returned inside later.

Logan was out foraging, accompanied by Roman.

Leaving Janus alone with Remus. Not that Janus had any idea if the other fey were still here or had gone back to the fey realm. 

What he did know was that Logan kept a collection of herbs for magical stuff, teas, salves and ointments, he just wasn’t sure where . He hoped Logan wouldn’t be back for a bit, as he started searching in the kitchen, letting his sensitive sense of smell lead the way.

Opening a jar full with a dried herb blend, the leaves having been crushed to a fine dust, Janus was more inside the cupboard than outside of it.

  “You know it’s really mean to steal from the one who saved your life, right?” 

Janus screamed.

Sending the jar with its contents flying.

Banging his head against the cupboard in his flailing.

Before turning to find Remus sprawled out along the counter, watching him like a lazy cat.

The jar hit the floor with a clatter as the content in it landed in a fine cover over everything in the near vicinity.

Most landing on the floor and on Janus. 

Janus could just stare back up at the fey as he tried to calm his racing heart, his side throbbed from the sudden movement, and he rubbed at it with a pained winch. 

The snapping of fingers caused Janus to blink as the herb blend returned to the jar, which was instantly back where it had been, before Janus picked it up.

Right… the fey had magic too…

  “Why are you stealing anyway?” Remus asked, Janus pushed himself to his feet, dusting imaginary dirt from the clothes he wore.

  “I wasn’t stealing . Stealing means to actually take something.”

Remus kept watching him, unblinking.

It was unnerving.

Janus gulped as he looked right back.

Remus smirked then, sharp teeth glinting in the lantern light as he tilted his head like a confused puppy, but less cute. 

  “What are you searching for then? Because Logi doesn’t like things not being as he left them. He’s special like that~”

Janus thinned his lips, it wasn’t as if he could tell the fey what he needed, why would they help him? Janus looked away, thinking. Missing how Remus seemed to perk up at the sight, now clearly intrigued.

  “I… am in need of some herbs…” Janus started “I left my collection behind when I was forced to run… and now I am in dire need of it.” Janus dared to once again look at Remus, only to flinch back when the fey was almost nose to nose with him, grinning from ear to ear.

  “And now you need some assistance?”

  “Aahh… uh… I wouldn’t be opposed… I would like to have it before the full moon..?” 

Remus giggled suddenly hovering in the air as he spun around in the air to lay on his back. 

  “Mh-hm! What do you need?”

  “Uuh… I need some hops… and valerian root.”

Remus’s eyes seemed to flash at that, before he managed to seemingly grin wider. 

  “Don’t worry you cosy canine. Remus knows how to get the goods!”

Janus barely had time to blink before Remus was gone in a flash of black sparkles. He couldn’t help the sneeze that followed. 

I wondered if Remus would actually get him the herbs… or if he was just messing with him.

Janus hoped for the latter…

He really hoped for the latter.

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 4.

Janus stood in the kitchen, peeling potatoes, carrots, swede, turnip and parsnip, as well as some mushrooms per Logan’s request. While the witch had gone on a day-long trip to the nearest town.

It was located on the outskirts of the forest, kept apart by a river, where Logan would go to sell and trade for things he couldn’t get or make himself.

Logan had asked if he wanted to come with, but the ache at his side and the fear of getting spotted by the Hunter kept Janus from going with. Even if Logan had promised that the townspeople weren’t much for the Church, keeping to their old pagan traditions and beliefs, which in turn meant the town was rarely visited by Hunters. 

So here he was, making sure the vegetables were nicely peeled and chopped for what he guessed would be either soup or stew for a late dinner once Logan returned.

It was pretty brain numbing work, he only had to be careful to not cut his fingers or palm with the knife, but it also let his mind wander. He thought about what would have befallen Hanna’s shop after he left, would anyone care for it, or would it get demolished or taken over by someone else. He mourned the lost materials and herbs he had collected over the years. He could have used them now… would have made the full moon's arrival less stressful.

But who was he trying to kid, the full moon always stressed him out.

  “HEYA WOLFIE!” Janus flinched hard, ending up sending the knife and potato he was peeling in fright, spinning around on his heel to find Remus easily catching both items.

  “Will you STOP DOING THAT?!” Janus stressed. Slumping against the counter to calm his racing heart and catch his breath once more. 

  “Hmmm… No, it’s funny.”

  “No, it isn’t!” 

Remus handed the knife and potato back, when Janus held out his hands to get the items back, looking pretty done with the whole experience. The fey snickered before jumping up to sit on the counter next to the bowl that contained the chopped up potatoes and carrots, floating around in some water, snatching a piece of potato to munch on. Ignoring the stink eye Janus sent his way as he started to peel the vegetables once more.

A silence fell over them, but Janus felt less comforted by it, Remus being quiet unnerved him in a way he couldn’t explain. It made his skin crawl. Remus didn’t seem bothered, snatching another piece from the content of the bowl.

  “I found the herbs you wanted.” Remus piped up after being quiet for so long causing Janus to jump again, but less severe this time.

Stopping what he was doing to look back at the fey who was grinning.

Janus silently gulped, he did need those herbs, but what would Remus demand to get in return? Janus tried his best to not seem too stressed about the unknown as he opened his mouth.

  “That was fast. What, uh… do you want in return?” Remus blinked, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

  “I don’t want anything?”

  “Why did you say that as a question?!” Janus stressed.

  “I don’t want anything!” Remus whined, making a motion with his hand causing the hops and valerian root to appear in his hold, throwing it at Janus who fumbled to catch the contents.

  “Then why are you helping me?”

  “I don’t know… I’m bored, and you’re interesting and new…” Remus crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

  “Ah…. Well, thank you… Remus.”

The fey perked up instantly turning to Janus with sparkling eyes, no longer grumpy.

  “You said my name!”

  “Yes?” Remus just giggled, all giddy before his mouth formed a small o as he was struck by a thought.

  “I just realised, there is one thing I want.” Janus mentally cursed his bad luck.

  “... Yeah?”

  “Your name! Or, I mean… at least something to call you…” Remus scratched the back of his head “I can only use the wolf nicknames for so long before it starts to get boring… and it has started to get boring .”

  “Didn’t Logan tell you?”

  “He did I guess… but it’s not the same thing!” Remus pouted once more.

Janus frowned slightly in thought. He didn’t feel ready to give the fey his full name yet, but what was a nickname he could give that he would actually listen to if someone called it.

  “Jan.”

  “Jan?”

  “Jan. You can call me that.”

To say Remus’s smile was more blinding than the sun… wouldn’t be too much of an exaggeration. 

- - - o - - -

Remus had left to go annoy Roman, most likely returning to the fey realm to do so. Leaving Janus once more alone at the cottage.

Janus moved the bowl with the chopped vegetables out of the way, to deal with the herbs. He still remembered what he had to do to get the contents he wanted.

The hops were cut into pieces before Janus placed them in a sieve secured over a bowl, before boiling water and pouring it over the herb, leaving it to brew like tea. Janus felt his nose itch when the aroma of the hops started to fill the kitchen. 

As the brew steeped Janus dealt with the valerian root. Cut it into teeny tiny pieces before placing them in a mortar and use the pestle to grind it into a mush. Scraping it out of the mortar onto a piece of cloth. The cloth was to filter the liquid from the roots, collecting the brown black juice in another small bowl. 

Once the brew had gone cold did Janus remove the hops. Grabbing the remains of the herbs and the peels from the vegetables with him and placing them on the compost. Hiding the hops and valerian root underneath the peels to hopefully not cause Logan to realise what he had done. 

Once he was on the way back inside, he dared a glance at the moon, the waxing gibbous looking back, as if taunting him. Janus shivered, as his breath clouded before his face.

Once back inside, Janus grabbed the two liquids, checking both over for any discrepancies, finding none he nodded in relief, taking a small taste from both to get an idea of their potency.

He grimaced, the taste was never good, and he could feel his tongue growing a tad numb from the hops.

Remus had brought him some really strong herbs. Thankfully both were as strong so there would be no problem mixing them together.

Something he didn’t tend to do until he was about to drink it.

Since he could never be sure of the potency before he was done, and the herbs he found in the past, never had the same potency since he never managed to find them at the same time. 

Pouring the liquids into a glass vial Janus exhaled, he sincerely hoped Logan wouldn’t be too worried… Well. What he didn’t know about wouldn’t kill him.

Janus grabbed a cork and made sure the vial was sealed and had no risk of leaking.

Now… a secure location to hide it in.

The kitchen was a no go, with what Remus had mentioned about Logan being nit-picky with things staying where they should. Janus didn’t know how closely Logan kept tabs on things, but he wasn’t about to risk it before the full moon arrived.

Janus hadn’t dared going upstairs, and he wasn’t about to do it now. That left the downstairs. 

Where would be a good place to hide it… a place where Logan wouldn’t look.

Janus frowned, tapping the glass vial with his nails in thought.

- - - o - - -

If Logan was worried in any way about the arrival of the full moon and what it would mean for Janus, the witch didn’t show it. Logan didn’t seem bothered about the moon’s growing light levels, instead he seemed happy, going over his collection of herbs and magical ingredients to see what he needed more of. 

After all… he was a witch, why would he ignore the infused magical properties the herbs and items gained during the full moon. He was the most dangerous being in this forest apart from the twins.

No beast dared to enter.

And yet he had invited one such beast into his home.

Janus wasn’t sure what Logan had been thinking…

  “The Cold Moon will be here soon. I’m going to go out to collect magical ingredients. I wouldn’t be opposed if you might want to join me?” Logan asked randomly one morning as they ate breakfast, some freshly baked bread with honey and jam. 

Janus felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water over him, what could he possibly say to that.

Did Logan not realise he had absolutely no control during the full moon?!

Janus didn’t trust the wolf during the full moons.

He was not about to tempt fate, by trusting it this one time, and tag along.

The hidden concoction he had made days prior was his only saviour from demise. He was not about to throw it to waste.

  “Ah… maybe another time…” Janus muttered, taking another bite from the bread.

He missed how Logan’s expression fell at the decline, before he breathed in and nodded in acceptance.

  “That’s okay, you’re still healing, maybe another time then.”

  “… right.”

Janus could feel the moon's steadily growing fullness affect him.

He felt it as if millions of ants were running all over his skin in a way he had gotten somewhat used to but despised all the same.

He could feel the wolf start to become alert. Stirring with the full moon's arrival.

Janus did his best to push it back.

To keep it out. To keep his teeth from biting.

He had almost gouged out one of Remus’s eyes when the shorter twin decided to startle him once more. Not only that but both Logan and Roman had been witness to it.

Remus just stared at him with wide eyes, while Roman was using his own magic to heal the scratches on Remus’s cheek. Janus was stuttering out apologies, not sure how to articulate or show he hadn’t meant to do that.

The day of the full moon Janus woke up in a cold sweat, stress levels much higher than normal.

He felt twitchy and if it wasn’t for Logan’s presence, until the witch would leave to forage, Janus might have started scratching his arms or hide in some dark cramped space until dusk and drink the concoction he made to knock himself out to not hurt anyone.

Logan took his sweet time getting ready to leave, checking over the things he would bring. While also double checking if Janus had changed his mind on coming along. Janus tried his best to not be mean and bite, as he once more declined, trying his best to not let nervous tics show.

He just wanted the witch to leave, so he could drink the concoction he made and then hide from the world!

Logan left with a small wave, before bringing forth a small orb of light that followed above him to illuminate his path before the full moon would light up the wintery December night.

Once Janus was sure Logan was outside of the gardens border, Janus dove for the spot he had hidden the vial at.

He could feel his teeth and nails ache in indication of the forced transformation the full moon brought and he hated it!

He could already see the hair on his arms grow darker and thicker, the fur was coming in.

Janus removed the cork, holding the vial in trembling hands.

It would be enough for 3 moons… then he would need to get more, but that would be a problem for that time!

Janus tipped the vial back and took a big gulp of the vile tasting liquid.

Grimacing and gagging at the aftertaste, putting the cork back in place and hiding the vial once more.

He couched, the effects were already starting to take hold, his vision blurred and his limbs grew heavy.

He stumbled over to the nest, collapsing face first into the soft fabrics and quilts.

A slight tremble took over but he curled up the best he could, burrowing a bit more into the nest before closing his heavy eyes and exhaled heavily.

He would be fine…

Once the full moon was over everything would be fine…

The deep sleep that took hold of him was cold and neutral to his mental struggles.

The full moon rose over the horizon as it always did, lighting up the snow and illuminating the world.

Janus was dead asleep.

Despite that, his body still changed, the concoction not strong enough to withstand the Moon's power fully.

What Janus would not learn that night was that the clothes borrowed from Logan, didn’t tear and break from the change in size and form, instead they seemed to seamlessly merge into the fur becoming part of it.

When the full moon hit its zenith in the sky

The nest was overfilled with a passed out werewolf. Janus was big in normal cases.

But the full moon amplified it with her magic, making him even bigger.

The couch groaned under the sudden unfamiliar weight, but didn’t give.

Once Logan returned from his foraging at dawn, the first beams of sunlight were painting the landscapes in gentle yellows and baby blues.

He found Janus snoring, face squished into the nest, laying haphazardly tangled in the blankets and quilts, once again back to human with no indication he had shifted at all.

The witch chuckled, not noting any indication of foul play.

Instead chalking it up to Janus just being Janus. Since he had been up and about much more despite not being fully healed yet. 

Logan hoped he wasn’t over exerting himself, he would have to ask once the werewolf woke up.

For now, he was going to make sure the ingredients he had collected and found were taken care of accordingly to not lose their magical properties, before going upstairs to his bedroom for a well deserved nap to regain his energy from the all nighter. 

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 5.

The days after the full moon Janus’s mood improved. No longer stressed over the looming doom that had been hanging over him with its arrival.

The ache of his side that had been annoying him was almost non-existent, he shortly wondered if the Moon had healed the remaining damage, not that he would ever understand why… she was part of his curse, so why would she care about him, before throwing that thought away.

Janus woke up one day to an onslaught of smells and scents.

All from freshly baked goods to spices and grilled meats.

Janus sat up, hairs a bird's nest, from the nights tossing and turning to stay comfortable. Logan was preparing for something, Janus didn’t know what. He also wasn’t sure if he should help or keep away, Logan was a tad terrifying when he got fixated in the kitchen, using his magic to help him do 10 or more things at the same time.

Now and again the twins would show up to deliver something Logan had apparently requested, be it more spices, ingredients or something extremely specific.

Janus dared to leave the nest after watching the controlled chaos. Moving over to where Roman and Remus were checking over something in a barrel that made his nose itch in a way only alcohol could do. Out of the way for Logan who had taken control of his kitchen.

  “What’s going on?” Janus asked with a yawn, rubbing at his eye.

  “We’re checking out this year's cider to see if it’s any good.” Roman replied suddenly, bringing forth a couple glass bottles from nowhere.

  “Uh… why?”

  “To prepare for Yule and the Winter Solstice.”

  “For what now?”

  “You know, Yule?”

  “... no?”

  “Ugh, what did the church decide to butcher it to?” Roman groaned.

  “Crisis you mean?” Remus piped up tilting his head before taking a sip from the liquid only to grin wide.

  “No… not Crisis… Chrysler? No- wait- no.”

  “Are you two talking about Christmas?” Janus uttered in confusion. 

  “That’s the one!” both twins called in unison. 

  “Then… why didn’t you two just call it that?”

  “Because it’s not the same thing, dumdum.” Remus huffed, placing his hands on his hips.

  “Remus, be nice.” Roman said, jabbing his elbow into Remus’s side, making his shorter twin grunt and snicker. Janus just looked utterly confused.

Roman sighed, pursing his lips as he tried to think of a way to explain it, hands opening and closing as he tried to think.

  “Christmas is the Church’s thing… Yule isn’t. Yule is the celebration of the sun’s rebirth when magic is growing stronger and nature starts to wake for spring.”

  “Right…” Janus agreed slowly, still confused.

There was a halt in noise from the kitchen and Logan poked his head out, some flour sticking to his cheek and apron covered in varying batters and sauces. 

  “Yule, put simply. Is just a big feast to celebrate the sun’s return and that spring is on the way. It’s much older than the Church’s so-called Christmas. Several different types of foods all from baked pies to ham and grilled meats eaten together with some hot ciders or some non alcoholic musts, depending on what’s been made before winter.”

  “So it’s just a big dinner party?”

  “It can be, there is a bit more on the magic side, but yes.”

- - - o - - -

Janus was in the middle of helping Logan setting the table a few days later, to celebrate Yule. While Roman and Remus at the same time, were getting a couple more chairs from somewhere . Logan was also finalising the last preparations in the kitchen at the same time.

It was already growing dark outside when a knock came from the front door. Before anyone had time to open it, for whoever was on the other side, it was opened and someone very bundled up to keep the winter chill out moved inside, closing the door behind them. A small basket under their arm.

  “Heya Logan! Merry Yule!” A muffled voice called from behind a thick scarf wrapped around their face and ears.

Remus and Roman both perked up at the sight of the person, rushing over.

  “Patton!” both called happily. Remus laughed, picking up the human with a bear hug, spinning around on the spot.

  “Remus! I need to get out of my coat before I melt!” The human laughed, still somewhat muffled behind their thick scarf.

The fey put them back down with a snicker, saying something about humans not being able to melt. Roman was more than eager to help them get out of their outer layers of winter clothes, the thick scarf, a thick coat as well as a pair of big thick boots and a knitted hat. With the outer layers removed a human with cheeks rosy from the cold, dressed in a gentle blue tunic with white and golden embroidery details became visible. They had dusty blond hair and a small goatee, and a faint scar on one cheek. Eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses that were slowly clearing up from the fog that had covered the glass at the sudden change in temperature. 

Janus had frozen in place staring at the human. Unsure what to feel, he hadn’t been told there would be more people showing up.

He had thought this Yule feast thingy would just be the four of them that lived at the cottage… even if the twins didn’t really live here.

Not only did he suddenly feel a bit territorial all of a sudden, despite the fact this wasn’t even his but Logan’s residence.

There was a scent to the human that made Janus’s nose twitch, he recognized it.

He recognized it a lot.

It made the hairs on his arms stand on end.

Had he been in the shape of the wolf his lips would have pulled back in a snarl. But since he was still human all that happened was him thinning his lips.

  “Oh! Salutations Patton, I wasn't expecting your arrival.” Logan said coming out from the kitchen, drying his hands on a clean cloth, no longer donning the apron that had been a constant for most of the last 3 days.

  “Yeah, sorry about dropping by unannounced, I suddenly got some free time and I know you guys celebrate Yule around this time so I thought I might drop by, Oh and I brought some gifts!” Patton said, holding up the basket.

  “Oh, Patton you didn’t need to bring any gifts.” Logan stuttered out.

  “Ah- I know, but who doesn’t like gifts, right?” Patton pushed the cloth out of the way to reveal the contents “I know it’s not much, but I brought some salted dried meat, pickled cucumber and pumpkin as well as a jar of that jam you adore, Logan.” Patton handed the basket over, the witch took it with a smile.

  “You didn’t need to, but thank you.”

The human, or rather Patton, turned his attention from Logan and the twins, eyes landing on Janus and his eyebrows rose in surprise.

  “Oh! Hi, I don’t think I’ve met you before.” Patton smiled, taking a step forward, holding out his hand in greeting, a leather bracelet around his wrist.

  “You’re a hunter .” Janus wasn’t even aware he actually bared his teeth as he spoke, a growl growing in his chest.

The human’s eyes widened and they jerked their hand back, a flash of recognition in the light blue orbs of their eyes, they knew exactly what he was.

  “Ah- um… Ex-Hunter… I don’t- I don’t do that anymore…” Patton stuttered out, worrying their hands together. 

  “Jan, Patton’s fine. He knows better now, he’s not a Hunter.” Remus spoke up, moving a bit closer.

Janus wasn’t blind to the fact that Remus seemed to almost try to shield the human from him .

As if Janus would attack without warning.

Janus felt mildly insulted at that, but the fact that a Hunter was standing before him overpowered that, he had to get away, get to safety.

  “Once a Hunter, always a Hunter .” Janus hissed. As he got his frozen body to move, turning to the side to put down the plate he had been holding down on the table, with more force than he had meant, causing the whole table to rattle and an empty cup to fall over, he turned on his heel and retreated to the kitchen.

Logan looked after him with a slight frown to his face.

  “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to cause any trouble-” Patton started but Logan shushed him.

  “It’s not your fault Patton, you didn’t know. Janus had a bit of a run in with a hunter that almost took his life, I don’t blame them for being distrustful about this.”

  “But, I still-”

  “Give him some space and time. I’m sure he will warm up to you, but you will have to let it be on his terms.” Patton nodded, understanding in his eyes.

  “You’re right, Logan. I’m still sorry I made things awkward.” Logan gave him a pat on the shoulder.

  “The day’s not over yet. I’m sure it can improve.” With that he made a small gesture for them to get comfortable, before turning towards the kitchen to check on Janus. 

Logan wasn’t sure what he had expected to find as he entered the kitchen, Janus pacing like a caged animal probably, but Logan doubted it. Janus hadn’t seemed angry, the werewolf seemed to react on instincts and mainly the instinct to get away from a presumed danger. 

What he saw was Janus’s solid mass standing pretty much frozen in the middle of the kitchen, eyes distant and the only thing that wasn’t frozen in place was his hands, which were trembling, almost spasming at his sides. His body was strung so impossibly tight, breath coming in short sporadic rushed gasps. 

  “Janus?” Logan asked, voice gentle.

Janus didn’t react. 

Logan moved closer but didn’t touch, he knew Janus wasn’t a big fan of touch, at least not without warning.

  “Janus?” There was a small twitch to Janus’s shoulders, but the werewolf didn’t reply. Logan moved so he was standing before them, crouching a bit to get to eye level. “Can you hear me?” Janus’s amber coloured eyes that had been staring off into nothing slowly moved to focus on his.

Deep calm blue met frazzled panicking amber.

  “Can you take a deep breath for me?” Logan urged, voice gentle and calm.

A shuddering breath left Janus, followed by a chough and a wheeze and a slightly panicked keen. “No, no, shhh, you’re okay, it’s okay. Let’s try again, follow my lead.” Logan mimicked taking a deep breath, before slowly exhaling, and then doing it once more. Janus slowly tried to follow, now and again faltering and struggling, slowly his hyperventilating calmed to a slow even breathing.

Janus closed his eyes with a deep sigh, the shake to his hands having slowed to a mere tremble.

  “You back with me, Janus?” Logan asked, Janus blinked his eyes open, looking at the floor before he blinked to look back at Logan.

  “I- yeah… I think so…” Janus rubbed at his face with a still trembling hand, Logan reached out, movement slow, indicating what he was going to do, so that if Janus didn’t want to touch he could pull back and gently took Janus’s hand in his, when he removed it from his face. Janus jumped a bit, even if he had seen it coming.

  “I can promise you Patton is not a danger, to you or to the rest of us.” Janus grimaced, clearly not buying it. “Listen please, I know you’ll not trust me on this, but if he was a danger. Do you really think I would have let him into my home?”

  “No…”

  “Would he have trusted the twins with his full name, would a Hunter give fey that power?”

  “... I guess not.”

  “Janus, I first hand watched him change for the better. I taught him that monsters and magical creatures aren’t inherently evil. He met me many times in his youth and hasn't been with a Hunters guild for 16 years, I highly doubt he will join any again with all that he has learned.”

  “I still don’t trust it.”

  “And I don’t fault you for that, just know, I won’t let anything bad happen to you for as long as you’re here. My domain will always be safe for you.”

Janus huffed, a slight rosy tint taking over his cheeks as he looked away, and at that moment seemed to remember that Logan was still holding his hand, he jerked it back while clearing his throat.

  “I- Yes. Well- Uh thanks. Is there anyone else coming that I need to know about?” Logan gave him a slight humouring smile, before he opened his mouth to reply

  “Not that I know of. There is Virgil, but he doesn’t like the cold so he sleeps most of winter away, he’s likely to show up sometime come spring.”

  “Sleep the winter away..?” Janus muttered to himself in confusion “What is he? A Bear?”

  “Vampire actually.”

  “Ah, Bat thing.” Logan chuckled and nodded, before becoming Janus to follow him back out into the living room

  “Shall we start celebrating? You don’t have to like Patton, but please don’t be too hard on him.”

  “... I’ll try.”

  “That’s all I’m asking for.”

- - - o - - -

The beginning of the feast was a tad awkward.

Janus did take a deep breath before going over to actually introduce himself to Patton, the human was surprisingly understanding.

It didn’t take long for the atmosphere to thaw as the food Logan had spent the past few days preparing and cooking was served together with spicy warm ciders and musts. 

Janus realised Patton knew about as much as he did about Yule, both of them knowing the less magic focused stuff.

Janus couldn’t remember the last time he had been part of something like this, the food was delicious. The air was filled with laughter and stories, at some point the fey twins started to create magical displays in the air over the dinner table, to show their stories. Logan joined as well at one point, telling stories of his youth or stories he had heard throughout his life.

Janus felt warm and fuzzy, despite the loudness of the slightly drunk twins he didn’t feel annoyed by it, it felt weirdly familial the whole setting. Laughter at a dad joke or an especially funny story told.

It made his heart ache.

If the past hadn’t happened the way it had…

If he had only listened…

Would he have celebrated feasts like this with his mother and family?

The old faint scars on his body ached at the thought.

Reminding him of what had happened, that longing for a past that didn’t and wouldn’t exist ever again was meaningless.

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 6.

Patton had stayed one night after the Yule celebration, the hour being too late to traverse the forest safely.

It was then that Janus found out that the human actually had a room in the cottage already. Patton had been a bit embarrassed about it when Janus questioned him about the room, before Logan explained it was added during Patton’s younger years around the time after he had left the Hunters. In order for Logan to teach him how magic, magical creatures and beasts weren’t all inherently bad. While also keeping the human safe from the Hunters who would retaliate.

The Hunter’s guilds didn’t take too kindly to deserters.

Seeing the person who left the guild as a traitor to the cause and in turn the guild made sure they were excommunicated from the Church, seeking to turn them into an outcast.

In their eyes a deserter was a traitor, and thus as bad as any beast or monster.

Patton left at first sunlight, bidding Logan and a barely awakened Janus farewell for the time being. Returning to the town near the forest's edge, where he lived. Helping those that needed it, mostly being found assisting the blacksmith, baker or out herding the sheep and cattle on the grasslands beyond the village. 

- - - o - - -

The new year was a bigger spectacle than Janus had been expecting.

Logan has asked him to tag along on a trip along the border to, Janus had barely understood what the witch had been talking about, something about wards and rekindling the magic to last another year.

Magic still confused him more than he wanted to admit, he knew how herbs worked… that was about it. When it came to crystals, wards, talismans, sigils or runes or anything else he didn’t even know existed, he had no idea what or how they were used.

Bundled up in thick winter clothes to withstand the cold, Janus followed Logan out into the forest, the witch knowing exactly where to go.

The borders of Logan’s domain were not the edge of the forest like Janus had first believed, instead it was much smaller.

After all, the forest was the twins’s domain and home, they had only lent Logan a piece of it.

Logan stopped by the foot of a big old tree: gnarly and twisted from age, from the look of the sleeping tree’s bark, it was not a beech tree. Janus was unable to figure out what kind of tree it was without the help of the leaves, but he was likely to find out come spring.

Bound around the thick twisted trunk, hung a long rope wrapped twice around the tree, covered in colourful fabrics, beads and wood, worn from the weather.

From the gnarly branches higher up hung sun catchers and different lengths of string holding rune covered rocks that swayed and gently rattled in the wind together with wind chimes.

Logan stepped closer, brushing some snow away from the trunk’s bark before placing his hand against the old tree, starting to mutter under his breath.

Janus watched in surprise as the gentle blues of Logan’s magic caused every rune to one after another burst aglow with renewed magic, Janus could only stare as the sound of the melody the wind made seemed to increase and grow… finer .

The colour of the fabrics, beads and wood of the rope returned to what it once had been, making it look almost new.

When Logan removed his hand from the trunk the runes were still glowing and small glowing orb-like sparks seemed to dance around the tree like fireflies or embers from a lit fire.

Logan turned to give the werewolf a look, he couldn’t help the chuckle that left him at the expression the other man wore. A mix of surprise and awe.

  “Come on, we have a few more locations to go to before we’re done.”

Janus jumped slightly, torn away from the sight of the tree that had seemingly trollbound his attention until Logan spoke up.

With that they moved again, pushing through the thick layers of snow with surprising ease. Janus suspected it was because of magic with Logan taking the lead, mainly because Janus had no idea where they were going.

While they walked Logan explained some of the forest’s history that he had been part of or witnessed, since much and little could happen in 100 years. Janus almost fell over, not able to comprehend just HOW Logan had been alive for that long.

The witch has just laughed, explaining magic had a way with slowing and stretching age. One reason why most magical beings seemed to be immortal in comparison to human life spans. Even if that might not always be the case. It all depended on the magic, and what powered it.

The following locations were much the same.

Thick rope bound around the ward’s location, sun catchers and the ropes with runes if possible, during the times the location wasn’t a tree but a big stone or a man made pillar of stacked stones. When that was the case the runes and magical symbols and sigils were carved right into the stones instead.

With each stop to strengthen the magic in the wards Janus could pick up a buzz in the air, seemingly growing in strength with each ward, it took him an embarrassingly long time before he realised it was the border of Logan’s domain humming with the rekindled magic, growing stronger. If he stared hard enough he was vaguely certain he could see the air shimmer where the border traversed between the wards, shimmering in a faint blue.

Logan himself seemed to grow stronger with each stop, perking up like a flower suddenly gaining sunlight after being in the dark for so long.

It was as if the rekindling of the wards boosted Logan’s magic as well, even if the wards were made and strengthened by the witch- It gave Janus a slight headache to try and figure out how that even worked.

When they reached the final location, Janus forgot about the loss of feeling that had claimed his fingers and toes due to the cold and instead found himself staring at a tree that had grown in such an unnatural way it had formed a big circle before once more growing towards the sky, that was not taking on their twilight shawl of oranges, deep blues and purples.

Not only that, the twins were waiting for them.

Remus hovering upside down amongst the low hanging branches, poking at some wind chimes and rune strings, while Roman was crouching in the snow, building a small army of tiny snowmen.

  “I see you two are on time for once.” Logan humoured.

  “We… might have left the court a bit early...” Roman spoke as he rose to his full height.

  “The elders will be so mad when they find out!” Remus snickered while Roman shuddered, not as happy at the thought as Remus was. “Oh! Hi JanJan!” The shorter fey cheered when he caught sight of the werewolf. Jumping from the branches to make a volt in the air, landing on his feet near Janus.

  “How come you two are here?” Janus found himself asking before he had time to halt his tongue. Remus laughed in reply.

  “Because this is the entrance way to the fey realm, dummy.” Remus spun around before jumping over to the tree, gesturing to it with wide movements, opening his mouth to speak only for Roman to cut in.

  “Logan needs our help to fix this ward specifically, since it’s also part of our domain. It’s mainly to make sure nothing goes wrong, fey magic doesn’t… really like to be told what to do.”

Janus nodded slowly, he didn’t fully understand, but it made some sense considering what he had heard about fey and their fickle nature. 

The sight of Logan strengthening the wards was one thing of its own, but this, this was much much more.

The change in the magical strength made Janus take a step back as the winds picked up, blowing around the witch and the two fey, causing the wind chimes and ropes with the rune covered stones to sway, the sun catchers sparkled in blues, reds and greens from the trio’s combined magic, covering the snow in rainbows.

In the dwindling light of the setting sun, the magic lit up the whole place as if it was the middle of the day and the sun had returned.

Janus shielded his face when the wind picked up more, and the runes burst alight, shifting between bright blues, reds and greens.

The light grew brighter to the point Janus had to look away.

Janus blinked when the light dimmed and could only stare as the circled space created by the tree trunk, sparked and frizzled before the air seemed to wrap and start to spin like a whirlpool until what was behind the tree was so distorted you could no longer see it, only the magic swirling in the now opened portal.

With that, the hum in the air stilled and Janus blinked at the sudden quiet, noticing the air beginning to shimmer in a shifting mirage of the trio’s colours, pearlescent, before going back to barely being visible.

Once more at full strength to keep evil at bay. 

Remus hollered loudly in a cheer, throwing his hands up into the air, before letting his body fall backwards onto the snow. Roman laughed a bit at his twin's antics before shaking out the remaining frizzles of his magic from his hands, the edges of his more humanoid shape form fuzzier than normal.

Logan studied the tree before he nodded, pleased with the wards once more being at full power, knowing his domain was once more secure.

He turned to look back at Janus.

The werewolf looked a bit out of it. 

Logan moved over, worry starting to grow on his face.

  “Janus? Are you feeling alright?” Janus blinked, stumbling a bit.

  “I- I’m fine. Just- Uh...”

  “A bit much?” Logan supplemented a small smile growing on his lips.

  “I- maybe?”

  “Nothing wrong with being overwhelmed, Patton reacted in a similar manner, even if he has gotten used to most things. He still has his moments, mostly when it comes to the twins.”

  “You mean Remus!” Roman called, from the sound he was pouting.

  “He has his moments with you as well, but yes, Remus tends to overwhelm him more often.”

Another breeze passed by, gently rustling the wind chimes and sun catchers.

It also reminded Janus that he was very much freezing. Shiver shook through him and he shuddered rubbing at his arms to regain some semblance of warmth.

  “Fuck, it’s cold.” he hissed burrowing his face into the scarf around his neck, steppning in place to get his blood flowing. Fingers and toes numb to the touch.

  “We are finished here.” Logan murmured before he turned to the twins “Will you two be joining us for supper?”

  “As much as I love your cooking… we should probably head back before the court elders find out we left.” Roman sighed, turning to Remus who made zero moment to get up from the snow he still sprawled on.

  “The elders are likely arguing, over who knows what at this point, they won’t notice we’re gone.”

  “Maybe so, but I'm sleepy and I don’t want to sleep out here, when there is a warm cosy nook calling for me back at home.”

His only reply was Remus sticking out his tongue in defiance. Roman scowled before he made a small yip like noise, lunging at his brother, shifting to the shape of a red fox in the air. Remus squeaked in protest when Roman’s black paws slammed into his sternum, and in a cloud of magical dust Remus changed too.

Janus could only stare as two foxes, one a brilliant red and the other a more muted grey in colour chased after each other, roughhousing in the snow. Yips and snorts and screams leaving their snouts as they played around in the snow.

Janus felt weird watching them, the sight made him restless, he couldn’t pinpoint why that might be chalking it up to be the winter cold messing with his head.

In the end, Roman managed to lure Remus back to the fey realm, the two foxes vanishing into the swirling magical vortex that vanished the moment the twins had passed through.

Logan sighed with a smile, shaking his head. The twins had a specific way of living up the environment.

- - - o - - -

Getting back to the cottage was a surprisingly short trip, much shorter than Janus had thought considering the walk he and Logan had made to the first ward and then the walk around the border.

  “Why didn’t we start with that one?” Janus asked once they were back inside, cradling a big cup of almost scalding hot tea between his still freezing hands, thawing his fingers while bundled up in the nest to regain the rest of his warmth.

  “Because I need the twins's help and because of that it takes more energy to get it back to full strength than the others do. So to make sure I don't run myself out too fast too soon, I’ve taken to fixing it last. Also because the other wards boost my magic.”

  “How does that work? You made them right?” Janus was unsure if ‘made’ was the right word to use in that context, but Logan didn’t look annoyed at his wording. “It’s like a weird infinite loop… How does it all work, really?”

  “Oh! I can explain it to you if you want.” Logan seemed to brighten at the idea, Janus hesitated, he still had barely any idea what anything magic meant, but Logan looked so eager to get to explain how the wards worked… It was almost a bit adorable… if not cute.

  “I guess? Er… well you can but I can’t promise I will understand what you’re trying to teach me though.”

  “Oh that’s not a problem, just tell me if you get confused and I will try to explain it differently or with other words, it’s not the first time I have had to explain how my magic works to someone who has little magic knowledge.” Logan smiled, getting more comfortable on the couch, taking a sip from his own cup of tea.

  “Ah, right. Patton .” Logan just nodded with a chuckle.

  “Patton.”

To Janus’s surprise Logan was a great teacher.

Whenever Janus looked confused, before he was even able to open his mouth to question, he would ask what had him confused and then rephrase how he explained the hows and whys of wards. Logan was also extremely patient, holding more patience than Janus even held for himself.

Whenever he would grow frustrated at himself when he would struggle to formulate a question he had, Logan managed to understand anyway, while also managing to both acknowledge the frustration and make it go away at the same time. Janus had no idea how he did it.

The conversation ended up turning to other rituals and magical practices.

Janus found himself not growing bored as Logan continued to talk, even if he at times went on a rant about something Janus had barely any any idea about.

The witch’s voice was calming, combined with the gentle atmosphere that made up the small sphere of the fireplace and the couch they both sat on, Janus felt himself growing drowsy.

He didn’t want to sleep, he wanted to listen more, even if he doubted he would remember much from one lesson alone, come morning.

Logan tapered off when he noted how Janus hadn’t asked anything for a long time, he turned to look at the werewolf again, to find how he had slumped against the couch’s back, head tilted forward, the empty teacup held loosely in his hands, almost getting dropped onto one of the quilts of the nest.

Very much asleep.

Logan blinked in surprise before he realised just how late it had gotten.

He felt his cheeks heat from embarrassment, he hoped he hadn’t bored Janus to sleep… he couldn’t remember the last time he had talked so much at one singular moment.

He got to his feet, reaching to take the cup from Janus’s lax hands. The werewolf mumbled something incoherent, fingers twitching at the sudden lack of the teacup he had been holding. Logan took the cups and placed them on the kitchen counter next to the sink, going to deal with the dishes in the morning.

He stopped in the doorway once he returned to the living room.

Janus was still very much sitting up asleep on the couch. Logan moved over, sitting down on the same spot as before, finding himself taking in the werewolf’s sleeping face once more.

Compared to the first time he saw him, Janus’s complexion was not deathly pale and cheeks rosy from the fever. Logan sighed, he should probably follow Janus’s example and go to sleep as well. But he was not about to leave the werewolf to get a sore neck and back due to the poor choice of sleeping sitting up.

Moving Janus so he was laying down was not as complicated as Logan had first thought. At the change in position Janus shuffled a bit, burrowing into the nest more, hair a bit ruffled from the fabrics. Logan was reminded of his thoughts from back then, and before he had time to contemplate his hand reached out to brush some of Janus’s hair out of his face. He was right, Janus’s hair was fluffy.

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 7.

The air was heavy with the scent of cold.

The darkening night sky overcast. It was bound to snow at any moment.

Frost, already covering every surface causing the landscape to shimmer, as if made of crystal.

  “Do you really need to do this dearest?” a tired and worn woman’s voice asked, he turned around to face her. An older woman, complexion pale, greying brown once upon a time black hair held back from her worn wrinkled face by a yellow headband.

A cough rattled her narrow frame and she seemed to slump a bit where she stood once it ended.

  “You know I have to mother, the apothecary told me what herbs to find. And you know as well as I that the full moon strengthens the herbs potency. I won’t be gone for long, I promise . I will be back before midnight.”

  “There’s been rumours of werewolves, son, there was an attack on someone’s sheep not long ago. Do you need to go tonight?” She coughed again, a ugly sounding thing. He couldn’t help but grimace at the sound.

  “Mom, I promise you. I will be fine. It was likely just a pack of hungry wolves getting too close to the sheep and nothing more than that.”

  “You can’t be sure! Just-” She cut herself off with a sigh, walking forward stroking his hair from his face before cupping his cheek with her palm. “Just be careful okay. If anything happens you come right back home.” he could only laugh a bit, leaning into the touch giving his mother a gentle smile

  “I promise to be careful. The moment I grab the herbs for your medicine I’m coming right back home, it won’t take too long, you don’t need to stay up. You need your rest.”

His mother looked like she wanted to argue, but she held her tongue, reaching out her other hand to pull him into a hug, holding her one and only child close before letting him go.

Leaving behind the small farmhouse at the outskirts of the settlement where they lived.

Bringing with him a small weaved basket to hold the herbs and a mangled, but still working, old lantern to light his way, even if the full moon would do most of the heavy lifting whenever she showed her face between the clouds, painting the frost covered landscape in a blueish white…

He knew the way, he had walked it many times before.

But alas, despite knowing, the lack of the visual markers due to the low light from the lantern and the clouds now and again covering the moon’s light, it took him longer than he would have liked to reach the spot where an abundance of the specific herb that was the main ingredient for his mothers medicine grew.

On the trip to the herbs, howls had echoed in the air, travelling far in the chilled night making their origin hard to pinpoint, with it echoing amongst the trees and hills.

The rumour of wolves being near had been true.

But he was not going to let it stop him from getting these herbs for his mother.

The walk to the spot had been uneventful, but the trip back home proved to become a much much bigger issue than he had ever prepared for.

The clearing he would walk through almost every day when going into the forest to forage in the summers and autumns was where life as he knew it would end.

The moon was hiding behind the thick clouds, leaving his only light source the lantern. He didn’t realise when the forest grew silent, but when he did notice he stilled, slowing his walk until he stood completely still in the middle of the clearing.

A growl from behind was enough to make him freeze in place and slowly turn around, holding the lantern higher to make the light reach a teeny bit longer.

All he could see was the light glinting unnaturally against several pairs of glowing eyes. 

The wind picked up and suddenly the clearing was shrouded in blinding light of the full moon showing her face from behind a dark cloud. 

Once his eyes got used to the new level of light he saw what was before him.

He might have thought them to be normal wolves…

But he knew just by staring at what was before him…

Was not a pack of wolves, almost the same size as a horse.

He took a frightened step backwards, and that was all it took.

It happened in just a blink of an eye.

But to him Time seemed to slow to a crawl.

One moment the leader of the gigantic wolf pack stood amongst the trees growling.

Hungry and moon mad from the full moon’s influence.

The next it crossed the space between them in a rush. 

Claws as sharp as knives sinking into the dirt.

Razor sharp teeth reflecting the moon’s light.

Eyes glowing red from the madness.

Teeth and claws sank into soft

Unprotected

Flesh.

- - - o - - -

A choked gasp.

Body feeling raw

Nose catching scents it hadn’t before.

Ears picking up every sound

Somewhere far away a lone mouse ran underneath a layer of snow in its tunnels. 

The faint wind playing with the branches of the frozen trees.

The noise that to most would be calming to some, grated his nerves.

His eyes flew open, brownish amber changing to more yellow in hue.

He sat up stiffly, frozen body once more moving.

Chest heaving, to fill stilled lungs with air once more.

Clothes that had once covered his body properly, hung in frozen stained tatters, pitch black in places.

The full moon was his only witness, appearing much much bigger than normal.

A layer of freshly fallen snow covered the clearing, reflecting the light making it almost as bright as if it had been day.

Slowly, stiffly he got his frozen still limbs to listen and he slowly pushed himself to his feet.

Stumbling at the heavy sense of vertigo that struck the moment he was upright. 

What had he been doing?

He moved forward, without any clear direction, his numb foot hitting something hidden under the snow.

He blinked down at it, finding a tipped over basket.

The memories rushed back.

The herbs, he had to get them to his mother!

He looked up at the sky once more, it was dark.

He had no idea what time it was.

Slowly gathering the herbs that had spilled from the basket he hurried back in the direction of home.

He never noticed the times the moon was covered by moving clouds, his vision unchanged.

His mother cried when she saw him, pulling him into a bone crushing hug. Sobbing out praises to whichever god had listened.

He had a small sense that he had been gone for longer than a few hours…

Things returned to normal.

The medicine helped his mothers cough, to the point it was almost gone.

He didn’t regret going.

Even if small moments, random happenings that ranged from startling to weird happened for him. He wasn’t sure what to think. But he didn’t want to bother his mother with such fickle things.

She was still sick, getting better, but she needed her rest.

He might not have wanted to tell his mother anything, but his mother wasn’t blind. She knew, deep down, that things weren’t the same.

Her son… wasn't the same boy that had left to gather the herbs.

What had returned bore his face and mannerism, but…

it wasn’t human.

Not any more.

The full moon’s return revealed the truth of her meddling that night.

Pain was all he knew.

Pain, confusion and fear.

He had no idea what was going on, he couldn't think, his head filled with white noise and static to the point it sounded like a wild animalistic roar.

Growing louder and louder the higher the full moon rose in the sky.

The small rooms of their home, wrecked by the rampage.

No piece of furniture left whole. 

The monster's body hungered for something … anything… 

A door opened, followed by the clatter and splash of a water bucket getting dropped.

A deep rumbling growl grew in the monster's chest as it slowly turned to face the arrival.

A gasp.

A quiet sob.

A hand reaching out towards the beast.

  “Son..?”

The monster acted on its own accord.

It lunged, claws leaving deep gouges in the floor.

Teeth found grip in soft flesh, before crashing through the doorway out into the open snowy  farmyard.

A dying gasp-

  “Janus-”

- - - o - - -

Janus woke up with a scream.

Limbs flailing, causing him to crash hard to the floor.

A crash came from the kitchen followed by hurried steps as Logan appeared in the doorway, looking frazzled.

  “Janus?!” the witch asked worry in his voice.

When no reply came Logan moved closer, finding the werewolf curled up on the floor next to the couch.

One hand white-knuckling the shirt at his sternum, while his nails on his other hand dug into the wooden floorboards, as if trying to grab some semblance of stability. 

His chest heaved from short stuttering gasps, unable to catch his breath.

Eyes were wide but not taking in any of the world around him.

Tears running from his eyes.

Logan cursed under his breath as he hurried over, not fully certain on what to do in this situation.

He’d seen Janus have anxiety attacks before, helping him calm down from them as well, but this wasn’t it.

This was a full blown panic attack.

Logan didn’t know what triggered it, but he knew Janus.
Maybe not as well as he would have liked to… but good enough.

Logan took a deep breath to steady his own nerves before he sat down on the floor next to Janus’s head.

Starting to hum a melody of calming, who’s name and lyrics he’s long since forgotten, he reached out one hand to place it against Janus’s back, tapping out a slow but steady beat. 

He didn’t like not being able to do more, but from experience, after getting to know a certain vampire, he knew you couldn't force a panic attack to end, you just had to ride it out.

Logan hoped his presence made things easier for Janus to calm back down, and return to the presence.

He felt, more than saw, Janus become more aware.

Feeling the werewolf’s back stutter at a gasp under his palm. Janus flinched, first now noticing the touch, uncoordinated limbs trying to move away from it.

  “Hey, easy, easy...” Logan removed his hand while the werewolf jolted at his sudden voice. Head turning quickly to stare up at Logan, even if his eyes were still a bit haunted the amber orbs were more aware. “You’re safe. Can you take a deep breath for me?”

The stuttering wheeze that left Janus as that question, didn’t bother Logan who calmly kept urging him to breathe, to take another deep breath, to not mind the failed attempts.

Slowly he managed to ease Janus into a sitting position. The werewolf kept his eyes closed to try and concentrate more on his own breathing. That remained a stuttering wheezing mess.

It took a while, before Janus’s breathing calmed to an exhausted panting, as if he had run around the cottage a couple times.

After a bit more his breathing was back under control.

Deep breaths in, holding them for a bit before exhaling slowly, before repeating it again.

Once Janus had his breathing back under control a wave of exhaustion washed over him, causing him to groan and slump against Logan who easily steadied him.

Grabbing one of the plaids from the couch to throw them over their shoulders. Creating a cocoon of warmth.

  “Are you back with me?” the witch asked, Janus slowly opened his eyes once more.

  “I- yeah… I think so… thanks Logan…” Janus coraked out, voice hoarse

  “Never seen you panic this hard before… what happened?” Janus grew quiet, lips thinning as he looked away. “You don’t have to tell me, unless you want to.”

Logan was getting comfortable with the silence, only broken by the fireplace’s popping and their synced breathing, when Janus spoke up, voice quiet.

  “... a nightmare… It’s stupid .” Logan frowned, shifting a bit to better look at Janus’s face.

  “If it scares you this bad… there’s nothing stupid about it.” Janus stared at him in surprise, the witch just gave him a comforting smile in return. “Nightmares are not fun to deal with on a general basis, even more so if they decide to be about something traumatic…I’ve read that nightmares can become less scary if you tell what they’re about to someone.”

  “Right..?”

  “Uh… what I’m saying is… If you want to talk about it… I’ll be here to listen.”

Janus grew quiet again… a small furrow between his brows as he contemplated the request.

  “I…” Janus slowly pushed himself up more so that he wasn’t putting most of his body weight on Logan. Rubbing at his shoulder that had taken the brunt when he crashed to the floor. “... uh, thanks for asking… but… not today…”

  “I won’t force you, you can tell me when you’re ready.”

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 8.

The following days after the nightmare were almost much of the same, apart from Janus being quieter than normal. Busying himself with more chores than normal, such as spending almost the whole day chopping up firewood. Or shovelling snow to clear the pathways in the garden when it had snowed.

At times even pushing Logan out of the kitchen to do the dishes himself, something Logan quickly argued over. The compromise was Logan taking care of the clean dishes, drying them off and putting them away. The “new” tradition was spent in silence. Only the sound of clinking of the tableware, plates, bowls and mugs.

Logan had tried starting a conversation the first time, but quickly noted how Janus’s replies were stilted and short, not being rude, but making it pretty clear he wasn’t in a mood to talk. Logan could accept that, he wasn’t going to force a conversation if it was unwanted, at least not under those circumstances. 

It wasn’t unusual for Janus to be quiet, and it really wasn’t his business to learn what the nightmare had been about.

Logan wasn’t blind to the fact that the chores Janus took on were most likely to distract himself from whatever haunting memory the nightmare had dragged inside, like a cat with a freshly caught prey.

Now and again the twins would join and help around the house, by either filling the weaved baskets with the chopped firewood and carrying them inside, or take them into the wooden shed, where the wood was stacked up for easier storage. 

- - - o - - -

The Quiet Moon was bound to arrive soon.

Unlike the first full moon after Janus’s arrival, the werewolf wasn’t as flinchy and quick to swipe as the first time, but he was still skittish.

Logan once more asked if Janus wanted to join him foraging for magical ingredients, the werewolf in turn once again declined. Logan wanted to ask as to why he didn’t want to join, but Janus was quick at escaping the question, before Logan even managed to start it.

The witch sighed, accepting that Janus wasn’t going to join him… the likelihood of it happening feeling very very slim. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Logan to go alone, the twins might join him, but alas. Most full moons were spent alone in the forest. He had hoped the werewolf would be a companion on those trips, not only for the full moons but more in general as well, but as time passed, that seemed to become an unlikely occurrence. 

Logan left, the light of the full moon had yet to light up the world, but Logan made due with his magic. Not really having a specific path in mind but more going where it felt right.

Letting the magic of the forest lead the way.

Things had been going better than he had anticipated when he suddenly got shrouded in darkness, only light coming from his now much smaller orb of light and a crystal that was faintly glowing from the moon’s magic, looking up to the sky to find how dark clouds were rolling in quickly. He didn’t have much time to think beyond that before a gush of grain snow. The small snow pebbles fell down in mass. Filling the quiet of the sleeping forest with the sound of the hard snowflakes landing on the already fallen snow, or hitting branches and bark.

Vision plummeted drastically.

Logan huffed in annoyance.

Clouds hiding the full moon made the ingredients not as strong as they would have been, if the sky was clear. It also didn’t mean Logan was in the mood to get drowned in snow.

Deciding to call it an early night, the witch made his way back towards his cottage. 

- - - o - - -

The cottage met him in darkness, the only light being from the ever burning light at the garden gate. Logan shivered, the grain snow made no show of stopping, having only intensified during his walk back home. Logan stopped by the door shaking off the snow the best he could before entering.

The temperature change from the freezing outside to the much warmer interior fogged up his glasses instantly.

The temporary loss of vision didn’t deter him, he knew his cottage like the back of his hand. He could find his way with a blindfold on.

Logan quickly took off his soaked winter wear, stepping out of his winter boots, shivering from the cold.

Walking closer to the fireplace, he noted that only embers remained, and one log that was almost fully eaten up by the fire. He grabbed a couple more logs to feed to the fire, causing the room to light up as well as grow warmer. Logan sighed, sitting down before the fire, letting the cold melt away from his freezing limbs, feeling himself relax even more when it did.

A soft sound from behind made him turn his head to find how the nest on the couch was overflowing with a gigantic wolf. He knew it was Janus right away.

The only difference between the form before him and the one he’d seen the first time was the size. Janus’s normal wolf form reached up to Logan’s sternum.

The size now…

Logan vaguely wondered if Janus was taller than him at this moment.

Logan couldn’t help watching the sleeping face of the wolf. Body so still the only sign he was alive and breathing was the shift of the fur at every inhale and the way a corner of a quilt would gently sway at every exhale.

  “So you really rather sleep, huh?” Logan found himself asking more to himself than anyone in particular, turning so his back was facing the fireplace, feeling the change of temperature on his face, shivering a bit.

Janus didn’t give any reply.

Logan watched quietly before he rose to his feet.

His hand acted on its own accord, reaching out and carding its fingers through the dark fur atop Janus’s head between the ears.

There was no reaction.

Not the twitch of an ear nor whisker.

Logan blinked, before he furrowed his brow.

Janus wasn’t this heavy of a sleeper.

The werewolf tended to at least react somewhat at noises, changes in light or volume. He might not wake fully, but he always showed some reaction, be it burrowing deeper into the nest to hide from the light and noise or grumbling under his breath at getting bothered, before falling asleep again.

The lack of reaction made Logan frown, something felt off, but at the same time…  Logan didn’t want to wake the werewolf in the middle of the night for such a silly reason. The witch took the weird happening and stored it away for later thinking, when it wasn’t the middle of the night. 

- - - o - - -

On a sunny January day Logan decided it would be a good day to do laundry. Gathering all quilts, blankets, pillowcases and clothes not actively worn into a big cauldron outside. Logan spent a long time making sure all the fabrics were washed properly, using his magic to keep the heat of the soapy water the same. When the clothes were done boiling Logan rinsed them off in cold water before hanging them up on drying lines. Something Janus hadn’t seen before Logan made him realise their existence.

With the laundry clean and drying in the winter sun, Logan returned inside to clean up the cottage, starting a really early spring cleaning.

Janus wasn’t sure why the sight of the couch with no nest, the fabrics instead swaying in a small breeze on the lines, made him want to whine and pace. Like a dog whining for any scrap of food. The feelings irked and frustrated him, but he had no idea how to articulate it without sounding like a crazy person… It was just cloth, nothing important. So WHY did his brain decide that Logan washing the nest was such an offence, the things that made up the nest weren’t even his! They belonged to Logan and the witch could do whatever he pleased with his own belongings.

A sudden snowball striking the side of his head threw Janus out of his internal conflict, causing him to stumble and almost fall over his own feet in order to regain his balance. He turned with a snarl at the attacker, finding Remus, who quickly straightened up, hiding his hands behind his back, another snowball clearly held in his other hand, before it was hidden.

  “Oh… so that’s how it is, huh?” Janus started, grabbing some snow into his own hands. Remus snickered before throwing the second snowball. Janus easily avoided it, throwing his own haphazardly made one back at the twin, Remus ducked underneath it, causing the snowball to instead strike a distracted Roman, who was moving over towards them..

Right in the face. 

The offended screech that left the taller twin was loud enough Logan had to look out the window to see what was going on, and make sure no one was actively dying. Rolling his eyes and huffing when he saw the war that broke out, snowballs flying through the air, more or less hitting their mark.

  “Hit the laundry with any of those snowballs and I’m cleaning you with it!” he threatened after opening the front door, when he noticed a few stray snowballs hitting too close for comfort.

It was all the prompting the trio needed to move to outside of the garden, on the opposite side of the laundry. Logan couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head at the sight. They were such children.

With the cottage once again returning to its calm quiet sounds, Logan resumed his cleaning, sweeping the floors of dirt and dust. Using a cloth to wipe off any surface that had culminated a layer of dust as well. He also cleared out the ashes from the fireplace and stove in the kitchen. Taking care to not spill, before going outside to strew it out over his plants and flowers, to give them more nutritions come spring.

Returning inside a glint caught the side of his eye, making him still and turn his head, not seeing what caused it right away. Logan frowned in thought before moving a bit where he stood, catching it again. The light coming in from the window was hitting something of glass.

Logan had no memory of anything glass made to be in that location.

He moved over, standing in front of a shelf he didn’t tend to use often. It was pretty crammed with random things, while also holding a couple books, some gemstones and crystals and some dried flowers and jars with differently coloured liquids. He stopped, the glint had gone away, and he couldn't see it from this angle.

Logan murmured an incantation under his breath, making the tip of his left pointer finger light up as if it was one of his light orbs. He started to check everything again. The light made the glint return and Logan found hidden behind a couple big rocks and ceramic pots a corked glass vial holding a brownish liquid. The light on his finger went away as he picked up the vial, checking it over in confusion. 

He had no memory of this, unlike the jars on the shelf… the vial had not been labelled with what it contained.

He frowned before uncorking it, taking a small sniff of the content, his eyes widened. He recognised that scent.

A series of all small things he had noticed since Janus’s arrival resurfaced at the exact same time, and the theme made Logan uneasy.

Ever since Janus had woken up and gotten well enough to move around… Logan couldn’t remember the werewolf ever actively shifting on his own accord even once .

Logan put the cork back before turning on his heel, moving towards the front door. He opened it to go outside and find where the twins and Janus had gone. Only to find them moving towards the cottage.

The air around them was light, one of the very rare smiles was spread on the werewolf’s face. Sure all of them were absolutely drenched with melted snow from the fight. But they were all still happy. Oh how Logan hated to have to bring the atmosphere down.

  “Janus!” he called, causing the werewolf to turn his head, smile still on his lips. 

Logan took a deep breath, steeling himself, he had no idea how Janus would react, but despite that he held out the vial.

  “What is this?”

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 9.

  “Janus, what is this?”

Janus’s smile fell the moment his eyes landed on the vial Logan held.

He felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of freezing cold water over him, causing his breath to catch and fear and anxiety to squirm uncomfortably in his gut.

His hands started to tremble at his sides.

Distantly he was aware of the twins quickly excusing themselves, making their exit by vanishing into puffs of red and green glitter that was blown away by the wind. Not planning to stay around for the confrontation if they could help it. 

Slowly Janus raised his gaze from the vial to look at the witch.

From Logan’s expression alone, Janus gathered that the question was less about what the vial contained, Logan already knew that. It was instead more a question to prompt an answer on the why .

Only problem was…

Janus had no idea how to explain himself.

He doubted the witch would like whatever explanation he gave either way.

Janus swallowed, pushing down the squirming emotions to steel himself, whatever happened… he had a feeling it wouldn’t be pretty, but he was not going to go down without a fight.

  “You already know what it is.” Janus stated.

Logan changed his hold on the vial, to hold it more securely in his palm.

  “I do.”

  “Then you know what it is and there’s no problem.” Janus moved past the witch to enter the cottage, in order to dry up and get warm again.

  “N- no problem-?” Logan spluttered, closing the door after the werewolf out of habit. “Do you have any idea how dangerous this potion is?!” he demanded.

  “I’m aware.” Janus huffed, grabbing a dry pair of pants from the weaved basket Logan had, at some point in time, placed next to the couch, containing a couple sets of clothes.

  “If you are aware of the dangers why do you have it!?”

  “I haven’t made a mistake yet.”

  “Yet!? What do you mean yet ?! Too much of either ingredient and it could kill someone!”

  “I got it under control!” Janus growled, already done with the conversation, as he changed into the dry pair of pants.

  “You clearly don’t if you hide this from me!”

A harsh laugh broke past Janus’s lips.

  “Oh as if you would have been all ‘helpful’ if you’d known?!”

Logan groaned in frustration before exhaling harshly trying to cool down. Shouting wouldn’t make the situation clearer.

He looked down at the vial, a small dirty edge going along the glass showing the vial had been pretty full at one point.

  “Janus, why do you have this?” He asked instead, deciding to rephrase the question.

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “It is my business for as long as you’re staying under my roof!”

Janus just gave away a frustrated snarl in reply, snatching up a dry shirt to change into.

  “Thank you, but I never asked for you to help!”

  “Mh! Much help I’ve been if you’re actively drinking this!”

  “It’s fine!” Janus snapped back.

  “It’s not fine!” Logan could feel his own frustrations rise again.

He tried to reel it in, but they were just talking in circles. 

  “Fine. If you won’t tell me why, I’ll just keep this for now-”

Janus flinched, spinning around on his heel, throwing the wet shirt he had worked his way out of onto the floor as he lunged for the vial in a panicked rush.

  “ NO! ” 

Logan was quick to get it out of Janus’s reach, holding it high with his hand.

Janus didn’t seem to care, reaching for it with a desperation Logan wasn’t expecting.

  “Give it back!” Janus snarled, trying and failing to snatch it from Logan’s hand.

  “Not until you tell me why you drink it!”

  “That’s none of your fucking business, GIVE IT BACK !”

  “NO!” Logan snapped, letting his magic take the vial instead in order to hold it higher in the air. So he could use both his hands to stop Janus from trying to climb him like a tree in order to get the vial.

  “ I NEED IT! ”

  “You don’t need it! I don’t know what you’re trying to self medicate but this isn’t the way to go about it!”

  “It’s the only way that works !” Janus snarled trying to get to the vial again.

  “Works against WHAT?!”

Logan grabbed Janus by the shoulders and pulled him back so they weren’t chest to chest. Holding him in place.

Janus didn’t reply, he just made a noise almost akin to a whine as he struggled in Logan’s hold, eyes still locked on the vial.

  “JANUS!” Logan barked, Janus’s attention snapped to him, eyes wide and wild, a storm of emotions swirling in the amber orbs. “Works against what .”

Logan could see the exact moment fear and panic turned to anger.

Despite that he was still not fast enough.

Janus’s fist struck him square in the face.

Logan cried out, stumbling backwards before falling to the floor.

His magic gave away a protective angry staticy hiss, pushing Janus away and pinning him to the floor.

The moment the punch hit Logan lost concentration of the vial that was no longer held in place by the magic, dropped to the floor like a stone.

The sound of shattering glass caused silence to fill the cottage.

Logan groaned, blinking away stars from his vision.

He stroked his hand under his nose, catching sight of a bit of blood coating his fingers. He blinked again, wiping at his nose again, but no more blood came.

He slowly pushed himself to his feet, swaying a bit from dizziness before he got his balance under control.

  “Release him.” his magic hissed clearly not happy about the order, but did as told, retreating back from Janus to its normally less tangible state.

Janus didn’t move; he could only stare.

Stare with wide eyes at the spot where the vial hit the floor.

The shards of glass reflected the firelight into tiny rainbows.

The concoction he had made was gone, nothing but a stain on the floor.

There was no way he would be able to make it again, even if he asked Remus to get him the ingredients once more.

Logan wouldn’t allow it.

He barely felt any difference when the magic pulled back.

Head filled with a ringing static, deafening the outside to his ears.

He couldn’t breathe.

Chest growing tighter by the second.

It was over, there was nothing he could do.

He had been.. happy.
Things had been fine, even if he was living at Logan’s cottage he had the vial, making him not have to worry about the full moon’s arrival, knowing he would be fine and the wolf wouldn’t go berserk.

But now…

He could feel her watchful disappointed eye bearing down on him like an invisible force. Despite the roof of the cottage hiding him from her light.

Janus didn’t know what to do.

The static somehow grew louder.

He couldn’t-

He couldn’t-

A long painful sounding keen grew from Janus’s chest.

He was on his hands and knees, grabbing a hold of his head, claws digging into his scalp, but he couldn’t feel it. Clawing at his head, hard enough for it to start bleeding as the keen grew louder and more animalistic. 

Logan jolted at the noise, jumping into action when he caught sight of the blood starting to stain Janus’s fingers.

  “ Shit! Janus!” Logan called, but Janus didn’t hear him.

Logan assessed the situation. Janus kicked his feet, slipping against the floorboards, not really trying to get anywhere, but still moving as if trying to escape the emotional distress. His elbows gave out after a kick, causing him to smack his face against the floor, falling to the side to just curling up on the floor. Eyes squeezed shut. 

Logan grabbed Janus’s wrist, tearing his hands away from his head to make the werewolf stop scratching their scalp into a bloody mess. Pulling the shorter male close to his chest in order to restrain him and keep him from accidentally hitting his head again.

He thought he would have to fight against Janus’s inhuman strength, but the werewolf didn’t actively fight against him. The only thing that happened was that he could kick his feet easier. The change in angle caused the keen  to change to something more akin to a wail. 

  “Janus!” Logan called again, still no reaction.

Logan had no idea what was going on inside of the others mind, but he knew he had to do something, this wasn’t a panic or anxiety attack, this was something else. Logan frowned, he had no idea what to do.

His thoughts of worry was cut off with a grunt when Janus suddenly pushed back against him, headbutting him in the throat by accident. One of his kicking feet had found traction against the floor.

Logan grimaced, clearing his throat, before he changed his hold on Janus’s wrists to hold them both in one hand.

Moving his other hand to hold Janus’s head instead. Hair sticky from blood, even if the self-inflicted scratches had already healed shut.

  “Janus, I need you to calm down.” Logan murmured, letting magic flow into his words “ Easy. ” the calming spell filtered into his words.

The reaction was slow, but Logan could feel Janus’s hyperventilated breathing start to calm down.

Janus slumped in his hold.

Logan slowly let go of his wrists, but kept his hold on the werewolf.

  “Are you back with me?” Logan asked after a moment of silence, allowing Janus to keep calming down.

Janus didn’t open his mouth to reply, instead making a tired sounding noise in the back of his throat. “I will be honest… this could have gone better.” Logan muttered with a chuckle. A snort left Janus in turn.

  “I’m… sorry… for punching you…” 

  “It’s okay, I’ve dealt with worse. To be honest… I did back you into a metaphorical corner. In hindsight it doesn’t surprise me you would lash out.”

Another stretch of silence fell over them.

Logan was a bit surprised Janus hadn’t pulled away yet, but it could be because he was too exhausted to move. The witch wasn’t going to push him away, he didn’t mind the current position, even if he could feel his legs starting to fall asleep.

Logan sighed, knowing the situation was still delicate, any wrong word could make Janus clam up again… despite that, he still needed to know.

  “Why do you drink that potion, Janus?” Logan didn’t realise his hand on top of Janus’s head had started to move carding through the strands of hair, gently massaging the scalp. “I don’t need to know all the details, I just need to know if there is anything I can help with.”

Janus was quiet for a moment, making Logan worried he had clammed up again, before he gave away a full body sigh, growing a bit heavier in his hold.

  “I can’t control it…” Janus sounded defeated, wrung dry and utterly exhausted. 

  “Control what?”

Janus just grimaced, still not sure how to explain before he managed to force out a stilted response.

  “The full moon… I- I can’t control- I lose control…”

Logan’s eyes widened before he slowly nodded, things becoming less confusing as the new information made things align, the reason Janus hadn’t been all that keen on tagging along on the full moon walks.

  “So the potion is to not lose control during the full moon?”

  “I... Yeah...”

  “Hm…”

  “I know it’s dangerous, I’ve been drinking it for as long as I can remember, but the wolf won’t let it kill me.” Logan frowned at the wording.

  “What do you mean by ‘the wolf won’t let it kill you’?” Janus remained quiet. “Janus?”

Logan could feel the werewolf’s breathing pick up again. Logan panicked slightly.

  “Hey, Janus, Janus, easy. It’s fine. You don’t have to tell me-”

  “I don’t want to live !” Janus shouted out in a rush. As if doing it any other way would make the words get stuck behind his teeth. “Not like this! I never asked for this!” A sob broke past the werewolf’s lips.

Logan remained silent.

He subconsciously held the werewolf closer. Janus didn’t pull away, instead seeming to subconsciously pull closer, as if seeking the comfort Logan brought on a deeper level.

  “I’m sorry.” Logan murmured into Janus’s brown locks.

The old pale scars that littered over most of his body had painted a picture the first time Logan saw them, not the whole thing, just bits and pieces. He hadn’t known the truth, not fully.

Now he saw the whole picture.

  “Why didn’t she just leave me for dead!” Janus sobbed out “Why did she have to do what she did!?”

Logan didn’t know what to say.

  “The Moon likely had her reasons…” He started, but had only seen the moon as an amplifier for magical artefacts. He hadn’t thought much over what she actually did to the world and how she affected specific creatures. Due to this having subconsciously seen her in a good light, but… he now realised that had been foolish of him. After all, what gave her the right to decide? “I’m sure she didn’t do it out of malice… but it was cruel all the same. For which I’m sorry.”

The sob that broke free from Janus’s chest sounded old .

As if it had been waiting for someone to validate the pain from that fateful night all those years ago.

- - - o - - -

Later on, Logan cleaned up the remains of the vial, making sure no glass was left on the floor.

Janus still looked uneasy when he saw the stain, hugging around himself to keep his trembling hands still.

Logan noticed it all the same.

  “Janus?”

  “Mh?!” The affirming noise the werewolf made, was a bit pitched from stress.

  “You don’t have to worry about the next full moon okay? I’ll stay with you.” Janus looked instantly more panicked, opening his mouth to speak.

  “WHAT?! NO! THAT’S-”

  “Hey, no no, listen to me.” Logan cut him off, moving his hands in a calming manner. “Easy. If you start to lose control I can put you to sleep. It isn’t as dangerous as the potion, but just as strong.” Janus blinked in surprise.

  “Are you sure..? I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”

  “You won’t hurt me, no need to worry. But before that… There is something I’ve been meaning to ask.”

Janus still looked a bit uneasy but nodded nonetheless.

  “Yeah?”

  “How often do you actually shift?”

  “What?”

Janus’s unease changed to utter confusion, Logan just blinked back, equally as confused by Janus’s confusion.

  “Uh… You know, changing between wolf and human? For example how the twins shift between their humanoid shape and the shape of an animal.” Janus looked away, a small furrow between his brows.

  “Uh… never..?”

  “But you were shifted when I found you?”

  “That-! That wasn’t really- I just didn’t want to die to a Hunter… I…” Janus rubbed at his face “I don’t know how I did it…” he finally revealed, letting his hand fall to his side.

  “So you’ve never shifted?”

  “Not by choice…” Logan hummed in thought, nodding to himself.

  “I know a bit about werewolves. Not everything but… I think something you could do, that will make full moon’s easier to deal with, is if you familiarise yourself with that part of you.”

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “I think… you might have an easier time during a full moon if you start to shift more regularly and not repress it. It could be beneficial to your mental health and make you feel less disconnected from the wolf.”

  “I’m not a monster !”

  “I never said you were.” Logan gave Janus a kind smile. “You’re a werewolf.”

Janus looked like he wanted to argue, but he was still drained from before.

  “Look, I don’t expect you to be all for it, but I don’t think the situation will get worse for you if you give it a try.”

  “So what? I’m just gonna shift and be a wolf from now on?”

  “What? No no, that would be detrimental.”

  “Then what-”

  “Start small, baby steps.” Logan explained “And then go from there.” Janus still looked like he would rather do anything else. “But first. Let’s clean that blood from your hair, okay?” Logan turned to move towards the kitchen, to discard the glass and to grab a bowl to fetch warm water.

Janus moved a hand to his hair, feeling how some locks had tried clumped together. He noted that his hands were still shaking, albeit not as strongly as when the whole confrontation started.

His mind was still a bit haywire, ears starting to ring with static when the silence grew too heavy. 

He must have gotten distracted because suddenly Logan was back, gaining his attention with a grounding hand on his shoulder.

There was worry in the blue orbs, but when Janus looked back at him, it went away.

Janus sat on the floor, having bundled up in one blanket, most of the content of his nest hanging outside to dry.

Logan was sitting behind him, on the couch, the bowl of warm water placed on the small table next to the couch. Janus wasn’t sure what he had expected Logan to do to clean out the blood.

For Logan to bring forth a comb and start to methodically brush and clean his hair was not what he had expected.

It felt a bit weird, but the moment Logan started to unconsciously hum under his breath while working, Janus felt himself instinctually relaxing.

He was too exhausted to fight against the instinct.

It didn’t take long before he was barely awake.

He didn’t notice how the static had dissipated nor how his hands had stopped shaking.

He was warm and content.

The feeling of the comb and Logan’s fingers working through his hair was grounding in a way he couldn’t describe.

A deep sigh left his lips, as he lost the fight he didn’t even realise he was having with sleep.

Logan couldn’t help but chuckle.

He had cleaned away the blood pretty early on, but noted how Janus just grew more and more relaxed under his hands as he worked.

Deciding to keep at it until the werewolf fell asleep.

Logan put away the comb, using a small wind spell to dry Janus’s hair, before worming his way out from behind the werewolf without waking them up.

With help from his magic, Logan picked the werewolf and placed him on the couch.

Janus buried himself deeper into the blanket.

Logan reached out, ruffling the brown locks, picking up the comb and bowl to discard in the kitchen, before returning outside to check on the laundry. 

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 10.

Janus woke up later, feeling the most rested he had in years.

He almost fell asleep again, surrounded by warmth and softness…

Only to be brought back to awareness when his ears caught the sound of the front door opening and closing.

He blinked his bleary eyes open, vision and mind foggy from sleep, glancing towards the window to find the sky outside darkening from day to dusk.

He slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position, rubbing at one eye and yawning big enough his jaw cracked.

First now realising the fabrics of his nest had been returned, dry and clean.

Only containing the scent of the fresh wintery air from outside and the herbal soap Logan used when washing them.

His sleep muddled mind grabbed an armful of the blankets and buried his face into them rubbing them against his face and jaw in a burst of sleep induced instincts he couldn’t place.

The front door opened again.

Logan walked inside carrying a basket of firewood.

  “Oh! I wasn’t planning on waking you up until dinner time.”

Logan placed the basket by the door, removing the winter clothing he had put on when going outside, hanging up his coat and gloves

  “How are you feeling?” 

Janus looked down at his lap, thinking.

How did he feel?

The panic and stress from the fight earlier had left him… he felt…

Not great… but okay.

Yeah… he felt okay.

  “Okay, I think?” 

  “That’s good,” Logan smiled. “Since you’re awake, do you want to help me with dinner?”

Janus nodded, working his way out from under the nest pile, shivering a bit at the change in temperature between the nest and the air of the living room, no longer being smothered under the warm fabrics. 

  “What are we going to make today?”

Logan turned to move into the kitchen once Janus reached his side.

  “I was thinking of a meat and vegetables stew.”

- - - o - - -

Days later Logan brought up the prospect of shifting again.

The outside was dark and cold, but the hearth inside burned bright and warm, warming up the whole cottage.

Janus looked like he would rather do anything else, but feeling much clearer in the head than the first time, he had to agree that Logan’s logic wasn’t completely wrong.

There was likely something to it.

  “So… what exactly do I do?”

  “I’m not fully familiar with the subject… Do you remember how you shifted back the first time?”

Janus frowned trying to remember, given how high the fever had been as well as the severity of the wounds it was not something he fully remembered.

  “Not fully…”

  “Given the situation back then… I’m not surprised.”

Janus huffed before he scrunched up his face in concentration, only to pretty much instantly groan and stop.

  “Do I have too?!”

Logan blinked back at him.

  “I’m not going to force you, but if it could be beneficial to you… wouldn’t it be worth it to at least try? You don’t need to be shifted for long. Like I said, baby steps.”

Janus groaned, sitting down on the floor placing his face in his hands.

  “This is so stupid!”

  “Easy, this is why I thought this could be beneficial. You don’t know how you shift. So if we familiarise ourselves with how that process works for you… You will be able to shift easier and you can grow more familiar with the wolf.”

Janus groaned again before he sat up straighter.

Closing his eyes to once again give it a shot.

He had no idea what to even concentrate on…

When he shifted back he could vaguely remember thinking of his human shape.

But the Wolf…

The Wolf was unfamiliar.

Janus didn’t know what to focus on.

He would rather do anything else than to shift to it.

He struggled, trying to think of anything to make the shift happen.

Yet he didn’t want it.

He didn’t want to be the wolf.

The wolf was everything he didn’t want to be.

Janus grabbed his knees as his face scrunched up in strain.

He had to shift.

Logan expected that from him.

It shouldn’t be this hard!

Just SHIFT!

Logan frowned when Janus’s concentrated expression grew more frustrated and annoyed. 

  “Hey, hey, don’t force it. You’ll give yourself a headache-”

Janus gave away a frustrated snarl, throwing himself backwards to lay on the floor.

  “It’s not working !” Janus exhaled sharply, glowering up at the ceiling.

Logan rose from the chair he had been sitting on, moving over to crouch down to sit on his heels near Janus’s head.

  “How about we try something different?”

  “Like what?” Janus’s voice was nothing more than a grumble, clearly unhappy with the situation.

Logan motioned for Janus to sit up again and the werewolf did.

Logan moved so he was sitting down on the floor before him.

Janus still looked slightly frustrated, but willing to listen to what Logan was going to say.

  “Close your eyes.” Janus huffed but did as he was told.

  “Now, don’t think too hard, just focus on yourself. Your heartbeat, the moment of your chest with every breath as you breathe in…” Logan took an over exaggerated inhale “and… exhale...” Logan exhaled slowly, the frustrated twitch to Janus’s eyebrow stopped as his face calmed to a more relaxed expression.

  “Good. Now try again…”

Janus kept his eyes closed.

It was almost a tad terrifying how easily Logan could help him calm down.

Almost .

Janus tried again, thinking of the wolf.

Not as intently on shifting as he had been the first time.

Now…

Now it was more akin to reaching out into an unfamiliar darkness…

Unsure what to find, but still reaching out…

Seeking…

Searching for anything…

Janus felt his mind come in contact with something .

Mental hand landing on something soft and warm.

Just as dark as the surrounding darkness.

It wrapped around him like a warm blanket.

Janus opened his eyes with a small gasp.

  “There you are.” Logan praised with a smile. “I knew you could figure it out.”

Janus glanced down at himself, trying to not preen at the sudden praise.

Gone were pale skin and hands.

In their place was dark brown, almost black fur and paws.

The familiar sounds of the cottage had grown louder, easier to pick up as his ears twitched atop his head, picking up every sound.

His nose twitched from familiar and unfamiliar scents, much more sensitive to them than when in his human shape, even if his sense of smell was much greater than a normal humans.

Janus glanced at Logan again who was still smiling.

  “If you feel comfortable, try walking around a bit before changing back. Are you able to speak while in this form?”

Janus tilted his head before opening his mouth. All that left it was an animalistic gibberish of nonsense.

If he had tried to speak… it didn’t transfer.

  “Yeah… didn’t understand a word of that.” Logan chuckled. Janus’s ears twitched to show his annoyance at the comment, shaking his head with a huff.

Slowly, very slowly he rose to his feet.

Limbs unfamiliar and clumsy.

His legs trembled like those of a newborn calf as they took his weight.

Everything felt unfamiliar

Everything felt wrong .

  “There you go, you can do it.”

Janus wanted to argue, but he had to concentrate on moving, moving one unfamiliar paw in front of the other as he started to slowly walk.

With each step, Janus felt less unfamiliar with his new limbs.

It still didn’t feel right but…

He guessed Logan hadn’t been wrong about how familiarising himself with the wolf wouldn’t hurt…

Taking a slow lap around the living room before returning to his starting spot, Janus shifted back, much quicker than the first time.

Janus flexed his hands as he once again centred himself in his human shape.

  “You did good.” Logan praised, Janus huffed, once again trying to ignore the flutter his chest did at the words. “How did it go in your opinion?”

They moved to the couch.

Janus sighed, fiddling with the hem of the shirt, first now realising the clothes hadn’t torn during the shift.

  “It… wasn’t horrible … But it still felt weird, and I don’t know if it was a good weird or a bad weird.”

  “That’s okay. You’ve repressed the wolf for a really long time, I would be more surprised if you were all for it.” Janus nodded in agreement. “Maybe in the future it might feel just as normal as your human form.”

Janus couldn’t help but snort at that.

  “Who knows.”

- - - o - - -

The following days passed much the same.

Janus shifting for longer and longer periods.

Even if the time spent shifted was always up for him to decide himself. 

The differences with each shift were obvious enough that Logan could see them clear as day.

Janus’s wolf form went from a stumbling uncoordinated long-limbed animal to a  being much more secure in their footing.

To the point Janus at times just took off running around the cottage in his wolven form just because he could. 

Logan was happy Janus grew more secure in that shape, learning to familiarise himself with the body so different from the one he was born with.

But despite the good…

there were still moments that pushed back, making Janus question if shifting was a good idea all over again..

Instincts became a problem.

A problem neither of them had even given any thought.

An oversight on Logan’s part, once he accepted wholeheartedly.

Instincts were fickle things in general, even more so for something as wild as a wolf.

Nothing big had happened early on, only Janus at random times letting random thoughts take over.

One such event was Janus diving head first after a piece of runaway firewood, Logan had been chopping, that had gone flying.

Carrying it back head high and happy as if it’s been a prize.

He had been mortified and quickly shifted back afterwards, spending the rest of the day hiding in his nest from embarrassment.

Even if Logan had found it a bit endearing and cute.

The first time, but not the last time it became a problem was out on a foraging trip in the forest.

The snow, still thick and heavy amongst the sleeping trees, hid most of what the forest contained from view.

Despite this Logan knew where to find what he was mainly looking for. This wasn’t his first trip in the forest. He knew it like the back of his own hand, even if the twins knew it better.

Janus had tagged along, claiming he would be too bored staying at the cottage alone.

At one point during the trip shifting to stretch his legs running some barely thought out paths amongst the trees chasing snowflakes before joining Logan’s side once more.

- - - o - - -

The problem came when they had caught sight of a hare moving amongst the snowy bushes.

Logan hadn’t put much thought to it, the forest was full of wildlife, so one hare wasn’t something he would put to memory.

Janus thought, had stilled and frozen to a halt.

Eyes frozen on the smaller prey animal.

Logan didn’t notice at first, until he realised the werewolf was no longer by his side, turning to call out only for the words to die in his throat.

Janus’s eyes were locked on the hare, body in hunting position.

Moving slowly across the snow to get closer.

The gentle air around him wasn’t the same, it had gone cold and dangerous.

The hare didn’t notice, digging into the snow to search for something to eat, unknowing of the danger.

The moment happened lightning fast.

But for Logan it seemed to happen in slow motion.

Janus lunged at the hare with a control not seen before.

The hare flinched but wasn’t fast enough to escape.

Jaws clamped around the small body, killing it instantly.

Just as fast as the jaws had bit they let go.

Janus scrambled backwards shifting back in the scramble with an inhuman noise of panic.

Falling into the snow, unable to keep his balance.

As if to get away from the kill.

Logan jolted out of his frozen stupor, rushing over to get to Janus’s side.

Opened his mouth to speak, only for Janus to throw up the breakfast from that morning.

Logan grimaced before he crouched down, rubbing Janus’s back in comfort.

  “There there, get it all out.”

Janus jumped at the touch, turning his head to stare up at Logan.

Fresh blood stained his teeth, jaw and cheeks, but that wasn’t what caused Logan to worry, it was the pure panic in Janus’s eyes.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I- I- ah-” his breath picked up before his eyes ended up landing on the dead hare again. The noise he made at the back of his throat was not one Logan had heard him make before, but it made him freeze in place.

He had to do something .

  “Janus, hey, hey! Focus on me!”

The werewolf’s eyes kept staring at the hare, breaths growing shorter and more panicked. Ignoring the blood that coated Janus’s face Logan grabbed hold of it turning it to the side so he could lock eyes with the amber ones. “Janus, you’re okay. Breathe. I need you to breathe .”

Janus calmed a bit too much.

Logan cursed under his breath when he noted how Janus’s eyes grew distant and unfocused.

The sudden calmness made Logan sigh, he removed his hands, cleaning them off with the snow, before gathering some more in his hands to clean off Janus’s face. The werewolf didn’t react, not even a twitch, to the sudden temperature change between the air and the snow touching his skin.

The witch rose to his feet, having carefully moved Janus so he was leaning against the trunk of a tree, adding a warmth spell, to make sure the cold didn’t start growing hungry and eat away Janus’s warmth, causing the werewolf to freeze.

Logan walked over to the dead hare, it would be a waste to leave it.

He picked it up by the hindlegs, moving further away, still keeping Janus’s in his peripheral as he took out a small knife and gutted the hare. 

- - - o - - -

The taste of blood and raw flesh grabbed him by the neck and threw him right back into the nightmare from all those years ago.

Janus had barely been able to keep his focus on Logan.

Fear, terror and panic screeching in his head loud enough for it to become static.

His memory replayed the moment as if it was happening again.

The taste, the feeling of skin, flesh and bones giving way.

He hated every second of it. 

- - - o - - -

He gasped as he found himself back in the present.

Jerking his head up from the lowered position it had been in.

He blinked hard, clearing his vision from its blurriness.

  “You back with me?”

Janus turned his head to find how Logan was sitting beside him, back straight.

The witch was moving his hands in the air, intricate motions and gestures.

It was first now Janus noted how blue the space around them was.

What caused it he realised was Logan’s magic swirling around, gathering snow into random geometric shapes and patterns from Logan’s mental orders and decisions.

  “What are you doing?” Janus found himself asking, staring at the magic with wide eyes.

  “Nothing much.” Logan shrugged “This is mainly to keep my abilities sharpened. Think of it as a training exercise.”

Logan let the magic dissipate, the snow drifting back to the ground like a tiny snow cloud.

He leaned back against the trunk of the tree, looking up towards the still bright sky, visible through the naked branches and twigs.

  “So…” he started, glancing at Janus “Where did you go?” Janus blinked frowning in confusion as he turned his head to look at Logan.

  “What?”

Logan reached out with one hand, poking Janus between his eyebrows.

  “You bit that hare and then went into a… hm, state.” Logan gave Janus a caring yet worried smile “Where did you go?”

Janus opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Did he want to tell…

What if Logan would think differently of him if he found out the truth…

He didn’t want to lose the witch’s trust.

Janus looked away, throwing his arms over his legs, almost curling into himself.

  “It’s… I just remembered something… unpleasant …”

Logan gave a non comical hum, before he rose up to his feet, dusting some snow off his clothes.

  “Let’s keep going while the sky’s still bright.” he said changing the subject.

Logan held out his hand, Janus stared at it before he looked up at his face once more.

Janus could see Logan wasn’t fully happy about not knowing, but the witch wasn’t going to push for information not ready to be given unless health was involved.

Janus gave a small smile in relief.

Reaching out to take Logan’s.

Letting the witch pull him back up to his feet, to continue the foraging trip.

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 11.

The accident with the hare caused Janus to stop shifting.

Logan would be lying if he said that didn’t worry him.

They had made progress in the right direction, but this…

Logan felt as if the accident had thrown them back to the start, destroying the baby steps taken.

He knew how quiet Janus had been after the nightmare not so long ago, distracting himself with chores.

This time… the result was worse .

Logan wasn’t blind to the dark bags that were starting to take shape underneath those beautiful amber eyes. Revealing sleepless nights spent tossing and turning on the couch or haunted by nightmares.

His heart hurt for the werewolf, now almost as skittish as if the full moon was just around the corner, even if it was several weeks until her next arrival.

Shying away from touches or being in close proximity with anyone, be it Logan or the twins.

Logan had no idea what to do to help.

Every time he tried to bring it up in order to learn, Janus clammed up, blurted out some excuse or rushed off to do something else. Leaving Logan with more questions than answers.

It was frustrating.

Especially since everything he tried failed.

He felt like he was running in circles with no clear indication on what to do.

- - - o - - -

Patton's spontaneous visit turned out to be something Logan didn’t know he needed in order to detangle the situation.

Janus wasn’t all that welcoming sure… but he wasn’t rude. It wasn’t hard to notice that the ex-hunter still put him on edge.

Even if Patton wouldn’t hurt anyone.  The human did his best to not make the situation worse, but didn’t manage to get past the pleasantries before Janus just up and left the cottage completely, likely to take a long walk.

Logan knew he wouldn’t leave all together, but he very clearly removed himself from the situation. 

  “I don’t know what to do, Patton…” Logan sighed, sitting at the table cradling a cup of hot spicy winter tea. Staring into the reddish brown liquid as if it held all the answers.

Patton hummed, taking a sip from his own cup.

  “I try to talk with him to understand, but he runs off or makes up an excuse on the spot to not talk about it.”

  “You can’t really force him to talk about what happened. He clearly has some trauma that he doesn’t wanna face.” Patton murmured.

  “I know… I only want to help, but if he doesn’t tell me what’s wrong I don't know how !”

  “Do you really need to know how?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Do you actually need to know what happened to help? From what you’ve said, Janus doesn’t want to talk about it… and forcing him won’t help, it might just stress him out more… and that’s not good.”

Patton reached out to pick up the wooden spoon from the little jar containing sugar, pouring another spoonful into his tea, before placing it back next the jar.

The pain from Janus’s fist against his nose came to mind, making Logan grimace internally. He’d rather avoid a situation where he ended up forcing Janus’s hand before he was ready to tell.

Logan took another sip from his cup, the gulp tasting sour on his tongue.

  “Then what should I do?”

Patton was quiet, the only sounds filling the space was the fireplace fire and the faint sound of the bread in the oven baking together with a pot simmering a medicine closer to completion.

From what Patton had told him, some of the town’s children had caught a bad case of the flu, the cough and fever keeping them bedridden.

Patton’s visit had mainly been to ask for some medicine for the children, the townspeople themselves not wanting to bother the good witch during the winter season.

Patton had no such qualms, knowing Logan wouldn’t turn down anyone in need of help and if he helped Logan make the potion, with his minimal knowledge of herbs, all taught to him by Logan himself during the time he lived permanently at the cottage… then no one had to know.

  “What you’ve been doing already.” Patton said with a kind smile on his lips, Logan looked up confused.

  “Elaborate.”

  “This is just what I’ve gathered… But I’m not as involved with this situation as you are so I could be wrong, but what Janus needs now isn’t an interrogation. What he needs is a friend and likely some healthy distractions.”

Logan couldn’t help the laugh that left his lips, reaching up to rub at his forehead.

  “I got too tangled up in the nitty gritty details again… didn’t I?”

  “Yeah…” Patton chuckled before he reached out to pat Logan on the shoulder “But now you know it, so now you can change your approach to the problem.” Patton smiled brightly. “I would start just letting him join in your chores, he could help you in the kitchen.”

  “He’s better than the twins… and he already knows a bit about herbs, more than you I believe.” Patton laughed at that.

  “That’s not exactly hard to achieve, I don't know much… I can barely tell the difference between spruce needles and dried thyme.”

Patton left when the sky started to darken.

Carrying the basket he had given Logan, during Yule back, containing the medicine he and Logan had made, put into glass jars. One for each sick child, plus some more, as well as some cough calming tea blends Logan handed over as well.

- - - o - - -

Janus walked off out into the cold.

The sleepy winter sun painted the snowy landscape golden. He huffed, pulling the scarf up over his lower face to keep the cold from nipping at his nose.

He wasn’t sure where he was going exactly, but after a trudge through the snow found himself at one of the trees containing Logan’s wards.

The windchimes sang gently in the wind as the branches swayed, the sun catchers throwing small rainbows all over the powdery snow. Janus sighed, he sat down, leaning his back against the twisted tree trunk, exhaling heavily.

He wasn’t sure why he walked over here, maybe it was because he and Logan had walked the same path during the new year.  Compared to when he first saw the tree, the magic was still strong, strong enough he wondered if he could taste it. He had no other way to explain the staticky taste on his tongue.

The atmosphere was also calming, causing his body to relax as he slumped more against the tree trunk.

He was exhausted from several nights of bad or barely existent sleep.

He knew Logan was worried, but he didn’t want to talk… at least not yet… What would he even say?

He didn’t want to lose Logan’s company, it reminded him of Hanna’s, both  having a calming and steadfast presence.

It made him think back to the before, his time spent with Hanna at her shop, helping her gather herbs, make salves, potions and tea blends.

Spending late evenings huddled before the fire drinking tea or the random glass of wine or cider.

He had seen that shop as his home…

And then the hunter came and destroyed everything.

He hadn’t realised how hard and for how long he had zoned out until he noticed how the sky had started to darken.

He got to his feet pushing away from the tree, feeling as if a warm blanket fell off his shoulders, as the cold of the winter air returned tenfold, causing him to start shivering right away.

He rubbed his arms, sending a confused look at the tree, wondering if it had some weird magical effect similar to the spell Logan had used, back during the hare incident.

He shook himself deciding that dwelling on the magical things would only leave him confused and with a headache, instead decided to return to the cottage. 

The sky was dark when the warm inviting yellow light from the cottage caught his eye.

The moon had risen and he glanced at her, seeing her being somewhere between the waxing crescent and the first quarter. He stopped moving, finding himself looking at the Lady who had become so intertwined with his life. 

She would turn full in a couple weeks…

Janus made a slight panicked laugh, it would be the first full moon in years he would have to get through without his potion.

Sure, Logan had said he would be there, but the thought just made Janus stress, he didn’t want to harm the witch.

The wolf wasn’t to be trusted.

Definitely not on a Full Moon.

- - - o - - -

Logan was in the middle preparing dinner when he heard the front door open, halting the chopping of vegetables to move to the doorway.

Janus was working his way out of his winter clothes, taking off his boots and scarf.

  “Welcome back.” Logan greeted, causing the werewolf to startle, not having expected Logan to talk, he turned around giving Logan a nod in greeting, before noting the lack of a third pair of boots.

  “Patton’s not here anymore?”

  “He left before it got dark outside.”

Janus nodded as he removed his coat.

  “Do you want to help me with dinner?” Logan asked after a moment of silence. Janus looked surprised, not having expected the request.

  “Sure.” he muttered with a shrug, moving to enter the kitchen.

They worked in silence.

Logan returned to chopping up the vegetables as well as a few pieces of dried fruit, putting them all into a pot of boiling water.

Janus meanwhile ground up the herbs Logan told him to get, before cutting up a piece of preserved meat, the stench of salt made his nose burn.

Normally Janus would have just cut the meat into pieces and put it into the pot together with the vegetables. But Logan made him rinse the salt off the meat the best he could before cutting it into pieces and mix them together with the herbs and spices. Searing the meat before adding it to the pot that held the rest of the stew.

Janus didn’t dare question why, Logan’s knowledge when it came to food far outranked his own. He never really explored in the kitchen, not daring to go beyond stuff he already knew how to make, lest he end up destroying or wasting meat on a dish he couldn’t eat.

Dinner passed gently, the meat turned out divine, and Janus couldn’t help but ask Logan about how he came to learn so much about cooking. The witch just laughed in reply.

  “Making delicious nutritious meals is similar to making magical potions. If I have a recipe I go from that, but I've been alive for a while so most things I've learned by heart and changed some parts to fit my needs better. Magical properties are much the same, even if the portions of the contents are more picky when it comes to experimenting.”

  “Huh. Never thought about it like that…”

A comfortable silence fell over them, only broken by the cutlery as they ate their meal.

  “I have been meaning to ask… who taught you about herbs, Janus?” Janus looked confused for a moment, halting in his eating as Logan continued “You made that potion to not be awake during the full moons yourself, that’s not some knowledge you just stumble upon randomly. I don't even think it’s written down in any tomes.”

  “Ah… I uh… kinda did do that though…” Janus muttered through a cough.

  “Pardon?” Logan asked, having not caught what Janus said.

  “Nothing!” Janus waved his hand earning a furrowed eyebrow from Logan in confusion. 

  “I guess the first one who taught me was my mother, but then I started working for a herbalist in a town I travelled to when I was younger, she taught me a bunch, she also taught me how to write and read.”

  “A female herbalist, that's a surprise. What was her name?”

  “Her name was Hanna, she had this old shop full of herbs of all kinds, she made so many things, and taught me so much-”

Logan blinked at the name, it couldn’t be…

No.

The name was popular, it could be someone else.

He shook his head to continue listening to Janus talk.

Logan blinked, the expression on Janus’s face was happy as he spoke, clearly having fond memories with this ‘Hanna’ person.

Logan couldn’t help but smile as he watched Janus grow more animated in his tale.

The witch might say he was back to normal.

  “-she left me her shop when she retired, moving to live with her family in another town to calm down in her old age. I would say I did pretty well on my own.” Logan didn’t doubt it, he had seen the potion Janus had made, it was well made and strong.

  “How long were you there, before the Hunter I mean?”

  “I’m… not sure, I didn’t keep track but a couple of years, maybe 7 or 8?”

  “Quite some time. Wait, you said Hanna taught you second, what about your mother?”

  “Oh… yeah.” a wishful smile took over Janus’s face. “She taught me a lot. She taught me about everything the forest had to bring and what things helped in different situations.”

  “Oh that’s interesting, was she a witch?” Logan leaned forward curious.

  “No no, she wasn’t. No magic in this blood.” Janus chuckled, gesturing to himself. “She grew up near the forest and learned on her own and from her own parents… she sadly never got to teach me everything she knew, before…” Janus trailed off, his happy demeanour growing subdued.

  “... before what?” Logan asked hesitantly, he could feel that he was entering unfamiliar territory.

Silence fell over the table, Janus was tapping a finger against the cloth over the table, seemingly fighting with himself over yet more information and if he should say it or not.

Logan kept quiet, he mentally readied himself to not know, Janus was secretive at times and Logan got the hunch this might be another one of those times.

  “She…” Janus started before growing quiet, then taking a deep breath and getting out all at once “She was killed by a monster … and I could do nothing to stop it.”

Logan felt stunned, of all the things he had expected Janus to say, that was not it.

What could he even say to that?

Logan swallowed before he opened his mouth.

  “I’m sorry for your loss…” Janus’s attention landed on him, he looked pained by the memory. Logan continued “Sadly sometimes bad things happen to good people without a good reason or cause.” Janus looked like he wanted to argue but kept quiet. “One thing I’m sure of though, is… it wasn’t your fault.”

A mixture of expressions flashed over Janus’s face before settling on one Logan couldn’t decipher.

It confused him, but he wasn’t about to push on the matter, lest it end up as complicated as the hare situation.

Logan had no idea just how close he was from finding out everything was connected.

Something he wouldn’t get to learn until She decided to show her face once more.

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 12.

Logan wasn’t entirely sure how the twins had found out that Janus started shifting.

The two showed up out of the blue one day, proclaiming they wanted to play a game, a game Logan couldn’t really partake in.

A game where they would rely solely on their sense of smell to find the others.

Logan knew many spells and magical potions that could change one’s shape, but he had kept away from transformation spells that changed the body into something else.

His mentor had explained it in a way that no matter how strong the potion or spell was, you were never certain you would be able to retain your intelligence and wisdom. Telling legends of witches of old who had tried and gotten lost in the mind of an animal and never turned back, becoming one with the beast and lost themselves.

The rules to the twins game were simple.
You were only allowed to hide outside: either in the garden or in the clearing.

The one doing the searching stayed inside while the others hid.

Only going outside, shifting into any animal you could be once the time was up, and then trying to find the others as quickly as possible with just your nose.

A more complicated kind of hide and seek.

The moment Roman brought it up to Janus, the werewolf was NOT onboard with the game at all. Not wanting to shift with what had happened last time he did,

something only Logan knew about.

Despite Janus’s veto the twins were persistent.

Pestering and using the biggest puppy eyes imaginable… and being generally the most annoying they could possibly be.

In the end, some days later… Janus just gave in to the demand to join the game just to get a moment of peace and quiet .

Logan might have intervened, but he wasn’t going to lie. Deep down he thought it was a good idea for Janus to try the game, at least once.

It might help him feel more secure on the wolf again, at least that was what Logan hoped.

The twins were more equipped to handle the whole shifting business. If Janus had a moment similar to the hare situation, Logan was certain the fey twins would be able to diffuse the situation much earlier and easier than the witch ever could.

Janus made it pretty clear he was not enjoying the game.

Choosing pretty easy hiding spots just to get it over with, hoping that if the twins got bored, they would decide to do something else and leave him alone.

Roman and Remus were either blind, or ignored his clear disinterest, because suddenly it was his turn to be the one who searched and suddenly Janus realised he would have to actually shift .

Logan looked up from there he sat at the table making salves and balms. Containers with all the ingredients both herbal and magical strewn about on the table, together with a candle burner holding a small pot containing oil and beeswax, were being kept warm and in a melted state.

  “I’m sure you’ll do fine, take it easy and don’t stress it.” Logan spoke, wrapping a small wooden container with pretty paper before placing it amongst a small pile of other wrapped containers.

Janus grimaced, clearly not happy.

Logan gave him a once over before he offered an out.

 “If you really don’t want to, I'm sure the two of them would understand. They are just happy to play with you, especially in games like this.”

  “I guess… I still- I just- I don’t trust it .”

  “I know you don’t, but you can trust the twins. They will keep you safe if anything happens and if not them, I’m not too far away. I’ll come running if either of you three start screaming, I promise.”

Janus thinned his lips in distaste, before he exhaled with a huff. Logan was probably right. He just would rather not shift, but if he didn’t the twins would just get on his nerves again…

The werewolf groaned loudly to state his contempt as he opened the door stomping outside like an angry child, making it clear he was not happy but doing it anyway.

He could hear Logan laugh, before the door closed, behind him.

- - - o - - -

The winter air was fresh.

Nipping at his nose, but not cold enough to be unbearable.

He shivered before he closed his eyes with a sigh, hesitantly starting to think of his wolven shape, flexing his hands before taking a deep breath.

The shift happened as quickly as it had before, almost as if someone had poured water over him.

His limbs still felt alien and unfamiliar but the cold from the winter air vanished as his thick coat kept it out.

He shook his body, letting the fur fall in place before taking an unsure step forward out into the garden.

Quickly, he realised his error in not caring in the beginning…

he really should have asked the twins how the searching party did the whole… seeking thing.

He sniffed the air hesitantly, only to get bombarded with scents from all over.

He couldn’t differentiate them at first.

Feeling dizzy from the overwhelming information.

But the longer he stayed, the less intense the scents grew.

Moving around near the door for a moment, he managed to decipher the scents from each other enough to pick up Logan’s scent: herbal, earthy with a faint lavender.

It was everywhere, in varying degrees of strength, growing stronger closer to the door, since the witch spent more time inside, to avoid the cold, than outside.

Janus moved further away from the door, sniffing the snow and the air as he moved about, unsure, he had no idea where to start looking.

He left the garden, having caught a familiar scent, it was a bit spicy but also floral?

He frowned as he sniffed in the air trying to figure out the direction, sure there were tracks in the snow but they were both old and new, so he ignored them for now, instead focusing fully on figuring out the scent's direction. 

The rest of the world around him seemed to dim as he focused purely on the scent,

it was as if a path lit up before him, gently drifting in the air like a fog.

He zeroed in on it, following it with a focus he didn’t realise he had.

He barely realised where he was going until he stumbled right into Roman.

Roman had been in the familiar shape of a red fox, hiding under a snowy bush, dozing and had been pretty much asleep, since Janus hadn’t been as quick as the twins. Not noticing Janus had been getting closer until the two collided in a heap of long limbs and fur.

Roman gave away a startled squeak scrambling out of his curled up position while Janus gave away a yelp, scrambling backwards hard enough he ended up flat on his butt.

Both utterly baffled at the fact the other was there.

The startled surprise and confusion quickly dispersed as Roman shifted back to his more humanoid shape with a surprised laugh.

  “You actually found me first?! Darn it! Remus won’t let me live this down!” he complained as the two crawled their way out from under the bush.

Janus blinked, shaking his head to clear his thoughts.

Right, they were only playing a game. 

And he still had to find the other fey twin.

Janus started to sniff the air again, once more walking in circles as he tried to find Remus’s scent.

Roman watched, hovering in the air having an intrigued expression on his face as he watched Janus move about.

He was confused as to why Janus was so slow at catching the scent, it wasn’t even that hard to do. Roman hummed to himself in thought, remembering something Logan had mentioned in passing.

Something about how Janus didn’t shift, reasons unclear, but the werewolf was not as in tune with the wolf as Roman and Remus were to whichever animal they chose to shift to. 

Roman mentally returned to the present, only to open his mouth to shout a warning, but he was not quick enough to call out, before he watched Janus walk straight into a tree trunk.

Having once again gotten too caught up on the scent alone.

Janus gave away an unhappy whine and snort, shaking his head and rubbing it with a paw before he walked around the tree to continue his search.

Roman realised with a growing headache he might have to help this situation…

If he knew his brother right, Remus wouldn’t let him do it alone, especially if it was something concerning Janus.

Roman was gently gnawing on his finger in thought when Janus, thanks to some random miracle, managed to find the shorter fey. Who had been hiding up on the woodshed’s roof, having fallen asleep due to nothing happening.

Taking the shape of a dark speckled forest cat.

Remus yawned when Janus gave him a nudge with his paw.

Remus’s reaction was less startled than Roman’s.

He stretched, fully embodying the cat mindset, before he shifted back and taunted his win at being found last at Roman who only groaned in annoyance.

Despite Janus’s first struggles and distance with the game and being the seeker, as more rounds of the game were played he got better at it.

Soon he was almost as quick at finding the twins as they were at finding him and their brother.

Feeling triumphant and almost giddy when he found either of the twins.

They were so caught up in the game they didn’t realise how fast time passed by. Only realising when the sky started to darken and the temperature grew colder as the sun’s warmth went away with its descent towards the horizon. 

- - - o - - -

Logan glanced up from the table when he heard the front door open.

The table, now filled with a mixture of dried herbs, big brown glass jars containing everything from: flowers, petals or stems or in some cases the whole flower soaked in liquid.

Logan was methodically picking the dried herbs apart either keeping the dried leaves intact or crushing it to a fine dust into their respective containers.

Making tea blends and ingredients for later potions and medicine mixtures. 

The liquid in the jars was transferred from the big jar into smaller glass jars by his magic, as well as Logan carefully filling the smaller jars with a spoon. 

The twins were loud as they entered, arguing between themselves about who won out of the two, Janus on the other hand looked utterly exhausted.

Logan paused in what he was doing to raise one eyebrow at them.

  “Are you already done? That went faster than I thought it would.”

  “Logan, the sun is setting.” Roman stated with a gesture to the window.

  “And I won.” Remus huffed with a grin.

  “You dID NOT -!” and they were once again back at arguing.

 Janus pushed past them looking like a headache was growing, before his eyes landed on the table. Logan didn’t miss the spark of recognition as Janus moved closer, carefully picking up one of the jars.

  “I didn’t know you made plant potions?” Logan couldn’t help but chuckle, the twins argument easily ignored as he pressed the cork onto the little jar he had been filling.

  “It’s similar to the ones you’ve made, I presume?” Janus nodded, turning the jar between his hands to try and figure out what plant it contained. “It’s much the same, apart from the more magical aspects to it. It’s not just normal water or vegetable oils either, most are infused with the moon’s or the sun’s magic depending on what I'm to use it for.” Logan looked amongst the jars before he pointed to one that was a bit darker than the others “That one’s a rarity accidentally drew magic from Lightning with that one.”

Janus snorted, putting the jar he had been holding back onto the table.

  “How did you manage that?”

  “I accidentally left it outside during a thunderstorm… was planning on it having sun magic but oh well, what can you do?”

While they had been talking Logan had kept a careful eye on Janus’s body language, the werewolf looked exhausted, eyes a bit pinched from a headache, but apart from that, a calm had taken over from the tension that had been held in Janus’s frame for days. Logan couldn’t help but smile a bit at that, the twins game had managed to calm Janus down. 

With their conversation tapering off the twins' squabble became louder.

Logan sighed with a groan, getting to his feet. A few joints popping at the change in position.

The witch moved into the kitchen, returning a moment later with two pieces of the hard candy.

  “If I may, a small gift for some peace of mind.” Logan handed over the candy. Roman and Remus both perked up at the sight of the tasty treat, argument forgotten in return for sweetness.

Logan moved back to the table, handing over another piece of candy to Janus, the werewolf looking surprised before taking it.

  “What’s this?”

  “Candy, try it, I mostly have it on hand for when the twins get a bit too rambunctious.”

Janus sniffed at the candy, catching the scent of honey, herbs and most of all just a general scent of sweet.

  “I don’t think I've tried anything like this before…” Janus started, checking the candy over.

  “It’s mostly just water, honey, sugar and a few herbs for the taste mixed together and rolled into tiny orbs.”

Janus seemed to contemplate the information before he put the candy in his mouth. Logan watched in surprise as Janus’s eyes widened at the sweetness.

  “Oh- that’s good .” Janus gasped in awe, eyes sparkling.

It was at that moment Logan realised he might have screwed up… watching Janus doing something that could only be described as a happy dance.

Logan realised with a growing dread he might have awakened Janus’s sweet tooth. 

Only time would tell how much of a problem that would become.

- - - o - - -

Janus spent most of the next day helping Logan out, be it assisting in the kitchen when making food, a potion or helping Logan take care of his stock of dried herbs and plant potions.

While they worked at the table Janus just had to ask what Logan was preparing for, the witch had just grinned.

  “It’s for the spring festival.”

  “The what now?”

  “The spring festival, it takes place during the March equinox.”

  “Isn’t it a bit early to make things for that?”

  “Nope, just the right amount of time. You could come with me if you want.”

  “I- where exactly is it, in Patton’s town?”

  “No, no, it’s not in this realm, it’s in the fey realm. All magical beings come together to sell and buy or just to celebrate in the festival together.”

  “But… I’m not magical, wouldn’t that be an offence?”

Logan levelled him with a look over the rim of his glasses, raising one eyebrow high.

  “Janus, you’re a werewolf , believe it or not, you’re a magical creature.”

Janus gaped before he grumbled something under his breath, face growing red from embarrassment.

  “Even if you weren't, you would be allowed to come. Patton’s been with me a couple of times, he does get the odd eye, but no one has been rude about it. They’re only happy to have more people celebrating.”

Janus huffed before he put a filled jar of plant potion aside to start filling the next one. 

  “I’m not sure I would be good company…”

  “You’re good company right now, why wouldn’t you be then?”

Janus stared at him, opening and closing his mouth, seemingly wanting to argue but realised that nothing he could say would change Logan’s opinion.

Janus sighed with a huff before he returned his attention to the jars.

  “Fine, I guess I’ll tag along.” he grumbled, Logan just beamed back, missing the way Janus’s blush returned when he caught sight of Logan’s smile. 

The following day’s passed with relative ease.

Much of the same, filling smaller jars with the plant potions, making tea blends or just pulverising the dried herbs into dust.

The movements were familiar and repetitive, Janus found himself sinking into a calm he only really remembered from before he took over the shop.

He had to catch himself several times from accidentally calling Logan, Hanna.

Only once Logan knew they had a good stock, did he move on to the next task at hand. Which were apparently charms. Janus could only watch in utter confusion as Logan worked. Hands careful and fingers sure and swift in their movements.

Turning a flimsy looking piece of wood into a remarkable craftsmanship.

Intricate runes and magical symbols carved into the wood or painted onto it in colourful paints, tinsels holding glass or ceramic beads hung from the edges.

Some charms looked like necklaces, brooches or pendants. 

While Logan worked on the charms the witch instructed him to fill small colourful fabric bags with small rune covered bones or faintly glowing crystals or even gemstones, as well as dried flowers and herbs.

Janus had no idea what he was doing, but Logan hadn’t said he was doing it wrong yet, so that was something at least.

Bags of healing, protection or health were what the witch called them when Janus asked. The werewolf couldn’t even say if he was wrong or not, because magic utterly confused him still.

Janus, and Logan to some extent, was so caught up in the repetitive work cycle of eat, work, sleep, that neither had realised how many days had passed.

Until Janus woke in a cold sweat.

Feeling as if his skin was being invaded by a million angry ants.

Sensing the wolf prowl at the back of his mind, agitated and restless.

And Janus realised with a growing dread and panic that the full moon was near .

He didn’t have his potion this time.

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 13.

Janus could feel Her presence growing… 

The jitters that were slowly taking over made him unable to stay still, body needing to be on the move.

His teeth and nail bends ached, it was almost as if he was teething all over again.  

Janus wasn’t sure if this arrival was worse than the first full moon he experienced at Logan’s cottage.

It was almost as if the wolf knew he didn’t have the potion and thus was all the more inclined and insistent on getting on all his nerves in order to get out.

He felt trapped, just as trapped as the wolf that paced in the back of his mind, prowling closer to the forefront of it as the moon grew fuller.

He didn’t know what to do.

He tried to distract himself by doing different chores around the cottage.

He first tried chopping wood, but the repetitive motion was so mind numbing the static, that had started to fill his head that he was trying to push back, became harder to ignore. He left the woodpile with a frustrated hiss, going back inside.

To see if there was anything else he could do to distract himself.

Logan was quick to ask if the werewolf wanted to join him baking when Janus returned inside.

Janus accepted instantly, hoping the activity would help distract from the impending White Doomstress in the sky.

The kneading of the bread turned out to be similar in it’s awfully mind numbing repetitiveness as the chopping of wood had been, and Janus swore he could feel his hands start to shake worse as he at least tried to get the bread dough into, not a good shape, but at least an acceptable one.

Logan thankfully was quick to notice his worsening mental state.

  “What do you need?” Logan asked voice urging, wanting to be of help but not knowing for certain how to do so.

  “I don’t know !” Janus snapped without meaning to, he cringed at the outburst moving to grab his hair instead, but thought better of it when he saw the dough still sticking to his palms. “I- it’s! Hrn-” he gave away a snarl pushing away from the kitchen counter, the uneven loaf of dough left forgotten, for now. “ Nothing works !”

  “Hey, hey, easy. We’ll figure this out, okay?” Logan raised his hands in a calming manner.

Janus just made a low whine in the back of his throat, knowing what he was going to say would be something Logan wouldn’t want to hear..

  “I need my potion .” he said, voice thick, he felt like crying.

His whole body felt like an angry wasp sting.

He didn’t want this.

He didn’t want this!

He jumped when Logan pulled him into a hug.

The scent of lavender, that always seemed to follow the witch around, instantly took over his senses.

Janus was unable to fight against the way he instantly relaxed into the solid, grounding hug.

Logan sighed, placing his jaw atop the other's head.

  “I know you do… but you know just as well as I do that it was hurting you.” Logan murmured. He remained quiet for a bit, just letting them breathe. Janus nodded mutely into his shoulder. “I know things are really scary right now, but you will be okay, I promise, you have my support.”

Janus was unable to fight back the sob that broke from his chest, moving his shaking hands to grab a hold of the back of Logan’s blue tunic, clinging to him as if his life depended on it.
And in a way it did…

Logan didn’t seem bothered, if anything he held Janus closer, murmuring soft praises and words of gentleness into his hair.

- - - o - - -

Logan was worried.

He knew Janus would be fine in the long run, but that didn't change the fact that the sight of the few pieces of mental health Janus managed to keep intact, started to degenerate before his very eyes wasn’t anything but alarming.

Logan had only been outside for a moment, gathering some things from the earth cellar. 

Only for a moment!

But that was all it had taken apparently.

Logan opened the door to the cottage and instantly his senses were assaulted by the strong scent of iron.

His magic, that was just as much part of the cottage as well as his own body, burst alight at his panic, searching for the cause of the smell with him, illuminating the rooms in blue.

He found Janus, after a search that took far longer than he would have liked.
In reality it took less than a few minutes.

Janus was hiding in one of the cupboards under the kitchen counter, in the open space under the sink. Having somehow managed to squeeze himself in there, but that wasn’t what made Logan fear for him…

No… it was the torn blood-soaked sleeves.

  “Oh… Janus …”

The werewolf flinched, not having heard Logan arrive, turning to look at the witch best he could from his position. Amber eyes seemed to be slightly illuminated by yellow in the darkness.

It was now Logan noticed that Janus was biting into his own wrist.

  “Come here...” Logan urged, gently, holding out a hand for Janus to take. “ Please. ” 

Getting Janus to actually crawl out from underneath the kitchen counter was surprisingly easy all things considered.

Once he was outside and within reach Logan gently ushered him to let go of his own wrist before checking over the self inflicted damage.

Most of the wounds had already started to heal, while others, much deeper, lazily oozed blood, stained pale skin and cloth.

Logan moved them from the kitchen over to the living room, making Janus sit down on the couch. Logan started to gently clean away the blood, making sure the deeper wounds were clean before starting to bandage them.

  “I’m sorry-” Janus choked out, his voice sounded… wrong… as if moving his jaw to speak was unfamiliar.

Logan couldn’t figure it out, but he would think about that later, instead finishing up tying a knot on the piece of bandage he was wrapping around Janus’s wrist. Once that was done he let his eyes rise and focused on Janus’s face, who in turn looked utterly miserable, Logan gave him a sad but caring smile.

  “This isn’t your fault-”

  “Yes it is! If I’d just listened! -”

Janus shuddered, body moving quicker than Logan could react.

He hunched over, as if sitting upright was suddenly uncomfortable, before he made a noise Logan had never heard before and suddenly bit down hard on the hand Logan wasn’t holding.

Logan made a panicked startled noise at the action.

  “No, no. No ! Please don’t do that! Come on, let go. Hurting yourself isn’t helping the situation.” Janus just hunched in on himself further with a broken noise, seemingly biting harder if the streams of new blood pouring from Janus’s lips down his wrist staining his sleeve was any indication.

Logan cursed loudly, both outwards and inwards.

He had to do something

Anything!

He was not going to sit by and let Janus continue to hurt himself, in order to feel like he had some semblance of control in a situation he only previously dealt with by repressing it, in different ways.

Logan, gently, to not aggravate the wound more, ushered Janus to release his hand.

Janus actually whined when it was removed from between his teeth.
Breath growing a bit ragged as they sped up.

Logan kept a gentle hold on the hurt hand, while he looked around for anything he could give Janus to bite down on instead, that wasn’t the werewolf’s own limbs.

He caught sight of a thin piece of firewood in the basket by the fireplace.

A quick flick with his finger caused the piece of wood to get picked up by a blue glow before it was flung over to land in his free hand.

Logan critically studied the wood: it held minimal twigs and bark, he could work with this. Logan muttered something under his breath infusing some magic into the wood before he quickly returned his attention to Janus who looked frazzled and disorientated, as if he was struggling to keep himself in the present. 

  “Janus?”

It took longer than normal for Janus’s attention to fall on the witch, making it pretty clear his mind was overflowing.

Logan wasn’t angry, Janus was clearly struggling and did not deserve anger directed his way.

Logan noted how Janus’s arms twitched, as if trying to move towards his mouth, but halted before moving far. Either due to the fact that Logan was there, holding one of his hands, or that Janus was too exhausted by everything to really move.

Logan had no idea if this would help or not, but it couldn’t hurt… at least that's what he hoped . 

  “Hey… I know things are a lot right now, but try to bite down on this instead of yourself, okay?” Logan held out the piece of wood.

Janus blinked hard before his attention landed on the stick. He took it with a shaky uncoordinated hand giving Logan a confused look.

  “A stick? You- you want me to b-bite this ?” his words were stilted and it was clear he was struggling to articulate himself. Logan nodded.

  “Yes, I don’t know how much it will help, but it is better than biting yourself, right? It’s just temporary, if it actually does work we could look into something more permanent…” Logan tapered off with a stressed sigh, he took a deep breath to steady himself. Janus didn’t need his word vomit at this moment.

Janus hesitated, either from embarrassment or uncertainty, Logan wasn’t sure. Janus awkwardly put the stick into his mouth until it pushed against the edges of his lips and bit down in the middle.

At first nothing happened, but then Janus bit down harder.

The wood creaked a bit, but due to whatever spell Logan had cast onto it, it didn’t break or flake, it just groaned from the pressure.

Logan started to clean the blood from Janus’s hand before bandaging it as well, noting how Janus seemed to relax more and more against the back of the couch, the longer he bit into the wood.

Logan glanced up to find how the other looked almost ready to pass out.

Slowly grinding his teeth against the stick, similar to how a couple of the town's sheep dogs would gnaw on sticks or bones either seeking stimulus or to calm themselves.

Logan couldn’t help the small smile that grew on his lips, it seemed to have helped quite a bit.

Maybe a bit too much…

Janus accidentally manages to fall asleep before dinner.

The fool moon was bound to arrive tomorrow and Logan was going to let Janus sleep for as long as he needed until then.

- - - o - - -

  “You need to leave. You- you can’t stay here !” Janus was way past stressed, he was full on panicking.

He had tried to get Logan to leave the cottage.

He really didn’t want to hurt the witch, but Logan was infuriatingly stubborn about staying.

Spewing bullshit about how Janus wouldn’t hurt him.

Janus almost felt like tearing his own hair out, or strangling something or someone .

The day’s period of sunlight passed them over with the same dance, Janus trying and failing to get Logan to leave.

Almost rushing outside and away from the cottage himself, but the fear of ending up rampaging and hurting the villagers if he left, kept him inside. 

He actively felt the moment the full snow moon peeked over the horizon.

The sky outside a gentle pink from the setting sun

The jitters and aches intensified tenfold, he grunted grabbing his head, trying his best to push the wolf back.

The wolf who was rightfully pissed at being denied its right.

  “Please- you need to leave- I- I can’t -” he was choking on his own words.

Logan grabbed his hands gently, removing them from his hair.

  “I won’t . I told you, remember. I told you I would be there for you.” Janus just shook his head. Why couldn’t Logan see that this wasn’t something up for debate! “You won’t hurt me, I trust you.”

  “You shouldn't !” Janus hissed, cringing as the wolf pushed back against him, making him shudder “ Please! ”

He meant to push Logan towards the door, to try one last time to get the witch outside. Instead his knees buckled under him, Logan tried keeping him standing but wasn’t quick enough getting a good hold, causing both of them to sink to the floor.

Janus was choking on his own breath.

Hunched over, forehead resting against Logan’s sternum.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to push the witch away or pull him closer.

The wolf snarled in his mind and Janus couldn’t help the wheezy cry that broke past his lips as he kept trying to push it away again.

Feeling a ripple through his body as it tried to force a shift, but since he was fighting against it, it was unable to succeed.

He knew couldn’t do this the whole night.

He was already growing exhausted and the moon was just above the horizon!

He couldn't-

A sob broke past his lips, chest trembling from his quickening breath.

He could distantly hear Logan talking, trying to get his attention, in order to help him calm down.

Janus just cried harder.

He couldn’t think.

The wolf was angry,

The wolf was loud

The wolf wanted out .

And Janus…

He felt as if he was being torn in two.

The full moon rose higher in the sky.

Indifferent to the struggle she was causing. 

  “Please leave- I don’t- I don’t want to hurt you- please, please leave- ” Janus sobbed out, voice meak and utterly terrified.

  “I’m not leaving you. You won’t hurt me-” Logan started placing his hands on Janus’s back in comfort.

  “ YOU DON’T KNOW THAT?! ” Janus snarled, pulling back with sudden strength he didn’t know he still possessed, only to collapse onto the floor, when it left just as quickly as it came.

A ripple seemed to pass through him and Janus cried out.

Twisting and writhing before he slammed his hands onto the floor, shaking his head as he pushed the wolf back again.

NO!

He was not going to-

He wasn’t sure what noise he made as he struggled to keep the wolf back, but it hurt his throat.

His body felt raw and everything was too much and not enough.

He didn’t know what to do!

Logan suddenly pulled him close, an offer of comfort and to keep Janus from accidentally hurting himself in his trashing.

  “Shh, shh, I got you, I got you. It’s okay-.”

Janus just cried harder.

Body twisting as it once again tried to shift.

The wolf wanted out

Janus ground his teeth together as he pushed it back with a pained sob.

  “Janus, you can let go, I know you. You won’t hurt me-”

  “You d on’t know that- ”

Janus’s eyes had been squeezed shut from the pain and tears, but they flew open, shining yellow from the moon's influence, as his chest filled with a shaky breath before he barked out his truth.

A truth…
That had cut and burrowed into his mind like an infested thorn or a piece of broken glass.

A wound never healing, only festering and hurting.

A truth he had wanted to take to his grave…

but werewolves were bad diggers when it came to their own.

   “ I KILLED MY OWN MOTHER ! ” Janus’s shout turned into a desperate sob “I killed her- and I- I couldn’t stop it- Please ! I can’t-” he was choking again.

Choking on tears and age old pain.

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry- I’m sorry - ”

Logan only held him closer.

Murmuring comforting nonsens into his hair, damp from sweat with how much he was straining to keep from shifting.

Logan knew deep down that keeping the situation going like this, wasn’t going to lead to anything good.

He sighed, knowing he had to uphold his part of the promise, when he offered to stay with Janus during the full moon.

He pulled Janus closer, who was crying hysterically, sobbing out pleads and apologies like a broken echo.

Logan placed a comforting kiss on the werewolf’s temple.

  “Sh hhhh , I got you, I got you… Shhh, shh... easy… I’m here, sleep, you can Sleep… ”

The reaction to the magic wasn’t instant, but Logan noted how Janus’s breathing started to slow down and even out.

Followed by the sobs and cries growing quieter until all that spoke of them were Janus’s glistering cheeks.

Logan kept holding him.

Feeling how Janus’s body grew heavier while it relaxed as sleep started to take over.

Janus eyelids fluttered, as if he was trying to fight against the spell as well, but another murmur of love and care from the witch made him give in to it rather quickly.

The moment he actively stopped fighting against the wolf, the shift happened in a flurry of black fur and loose limbs.

Logan found himself with an armful of passed out werewolf, the head of the creature taking up most of his lap, as the rest of its body lay asleep on the living room’s floor.

Logan exhaled, stroking his fingers through the dark fur.

Gently scratching behind the ears or brushing the fur at the brim off his nose, and striking the slightly damp fur under his eyes.

  “It wasn’t your fault.” Logan murmured into the fur on his forehead as he hugged around the wolf’s head.

Feeling his own eyes sting with the threat of tears.

The truth has revealed so much.

Logan had had a hunch in the back of his mind, but he hadn’t felt certain enough to question, especially with Janus’s previous behaviour around personal questions. 

The truth explained why Janus feared the wolf so strongly.

It explained why he took to drinking the potion to avoid the full moon all together.

It explained so much…

Logan felt his heart ache for the werewolf in his arms.

He could feel his legs start to fall asleep from their position, but he was not about to move.

Janus needed him, even if he was asleep, so deeply he might not even dream.

Logan blinked away the tears from his lashes as he kept carding his fingers through the fur. 

  “ It wasn’t your fault. ”

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 14.

Morning arrived softly…

As if a parent, quietly tiptoeing into their children's room in order to not be too loud. Gently rousing the sky into beautiful hues of deep blues, pinks and oranges, urging the moon away to rest, while the sun, bleary eyed, stretched above the horizon.

The early birds started to sing their harmony at the brightening skylight, some having already started their specific spring tunes ignoring the snow covering most of the still sleeping nature.

Spring was slowly approaching, she might take her sweet time, but she would always arrive when she was needed.

Logan blinked his eyes open slowly, a beam of sunlight shining him right in the face, he blinked again, confused over when he had closed them, not remembering falling asleep.

He pushed himself up from his slumped position, only to grimace, his back felt stiffer than an oak door.

He groaned as he stretched, causing several joints to crack and pop with relief at the motion, followed by Logan yawning as he stretched his arms over his head as well, before he exhaled, wetting his lips and blinking the remaining sleep from his eyes, letting them fall to look where Janus had been laying.

The werewolf hadn't moved.

Janus, still very much asleep, had shifted back to human at some point when the full moon went to sleep below the horizon, his breath calm and relaxed.

Logan exhaled softly as he reached out and brushed some of Janus’s locks away from his face, gently caressing his cheek.

He looked younger like this, no sign of the worry and guilt that normally weighed him down while awake.

It made Logan wonder how old he actually was.

Werewolves generally started ageing much slower once they reached adulthood, one of the many reasons humans thought them to be immortal, that and that few things could make them actually stay dead.

Logan focused on Janus again when he felt him shuffle, the werewolf muttered something face scrunched up, followed by a deep inhale through his nose, before he slowly blinked his eyes open.

The glow that had been illuminating them hours prior wasn’t there, showing the full moon’s influence was no longer affecting him.

  “Good morning.” Logan murmured softly as if speaking any louder would shatter the calm atmosphere that surrounded them in the early morning light.

Janus gave a sleepy hum, not fully awake yet. Sleepily nuzzling his face into Logan’s hand, still on his cheek.

Logan felt his heart swell and face warm at the action, Janus seemed to have zero qualms falling asleep again, despite the morning sun lighting up the cottage.

Then a furrow appeared on his brow, before he opened his eyes again.

Before Logan could ask what was wrong, Janus bolted upright, twisting in the motion so he was on his hands and knees on the floor instead of his back.

Logan blinked in confusion when Janus suddenly grabbed one of his arms, lifting it to check it over, before dropping it, letting it return to Logan’s side as he moved to check over the other arm.

Logan realised with an internal groan what was going on, catching Janus’s hands before he could grab the witch’s face.

  “Janus I’m fine , you didn’t hurt me.”

Several emotions flickered across the werewolf’s face:

Anger, worry, pain, fear, guilt, frustration and desperation.

Then he took a deep breath.

  “Do you have any idea how stupid that was!?” Janus shouted, shattering the tranquil air in the cottage.

Anger seemed to be the emotion Janus had landed on, Logan gave a resigned sigh. He should have known Janus would have things to say on the matter, now that he didn’t have to concentrate on keeping the wolf back.

   “I could have hurt you!” Janus, despite the angry expression on his face, sounded more desperate than anything, Logan levelled him with a calm look.

  “I had the situation under control Janus, I will help if I can, I wasn’t about to leave you alone in a moment of need-”

  “I COULD HAVE KILLED -!”

Janus seemed to choke on his own words, anger instantly going out like a snuffed out candle, replaced by guilt. He knew Logan didn’t deserve his anger, Janus knew that, a hand moved subconsciously towards his throat, where old pale scars marred the skin.

  “ I could have- I might have- ” He still couldn’t utter the words, feeling them getting caught on the back of his teeth if they even managed to crawl their way up his throat.

Logan reached out, placing his hand on Janus’s shoulder, making the werewolf jump at the touch.

  “You didn’t .”

Janus looked up, a pained expression on his face, he opened his mouth to speak but Logan continued before he could.

  “Did you want to kill your mother?” Janus’s eyes widened in panic and offence.

  “NO! Never! How could you possibly -”

Janus jerked back, letting Logan’s hand fall off his shoulder, teeth bared.

  “I thought so. It was your first shift, wasn’t it?”

Janus opened and closed his mouth, like a fish out of water, thrown for a loop at the sudden change in topic. He floundered for a moment before he slowly nodded to answer Logan’s question. 

  “It must have been really scary...” Janus could do nothing but stare at Logan, eyes wide. Logan cupped his hands on his lap. “Did you understand why, or what was happening when the full moon rose over the horizon?”

Janus blinked before he looked away, eyes downcast.

  “No…” He exhaled shakily “Everything was… too much , too loud . I-I couldn't think! And then…”

Janus grew quiet, staring down at his hands, as if he could still see the old blood on them. He opened his palms, before clenched them fists, that had started to tremble together with his lower lip.

  “And then when I came to… the-there was bl- blood everywhere … and she- she wouldn’t move -”

Janus hadn’t realised he’d started crying until he sensed Logan reaching out. Janus grabbed a hold of the witch’s hand and wrist before he could think better about it, seeking some semblance of comfort.

Logan pulled him closer with his other hand, offering all the comfort he could give as well as a shoulder to cry on.

An offer Janus, for once, didn’t shy away from.

  “How old were you when it happened?” Logan asked quietly into the werewolf’s hair, when Janus’s sobs started to die down. Janus sniffled before he spoke, voice thick with emotions.

  “I’m not…” he sounded unsure, as if he hadn’t kept track of the winters. “Sixteen or seventeen I think… I’m not entirely sure anymore, things kinda became a blur...”

The noise Logan made in the back of his throat was not one Janus had heard him make before, it made the hairs on his body stand on end. It reminded him of a wounded animal, Janus jumped, trying to pull away, worried he might have accidentally hurt the witch in some way, only for Logan to pull him closer.

  “I’m so sorry you had to go through that at such a young age-.” Logan managed to get out, voice thick with an overwhelming amount of feelings. Janus huffed and shrugged the best he could, not sure how to really unpinn himself from the hug, nor if he really wanted to.

  “Wouldn’t say sixteen or seventeen is particularly young -”

Janus couldn't help the yelp that left him when Logan pushed him away in order to grab him by the shoulders, holding him at arms length to be able to look him in the eyes. 

Protective ocean blue met confused amber. 

  “You were sixteen !”

  “Maybe Seventeen-!”

  “ One year doesn’t make that much of a difference ! You were still not an adult!”

Logan shook him by the arms, as if he was trying to literally shake some sense into the werewolf, before he let go. Pushing himself to his feet in order to pace the living room floor instead, hands moving with his ranting.

  “Gods, what was she thinking turning you that young?!” Logan threw his arms out in frustration, anger clear on his face. Janus realised with a startled inhale that it wasn’t directed at him , it was directed at the moon .

  “You don’t mess with younglings! It’s not right -”

Janus pushed himself up to his feet as well, albeit a bit unsteady, he couldn’t believe he was actually about to say the words that were resting on his tongue.

  “She… didn’t… really have a choice in the matter-”

  “There’s always a choice!” Logan spun around to face Janus again, angry for him. A younger Janus might have cried at the display, but Janus now only gave the witch before him a tired exhausted look.

  “What was it you said… back during the whole… Potion situation?” Logan blinked before he frowned in thought, Janus continued before the witch had time to remember ”You said something along the lines of that you were sure she didn’t do it out of malice… but that it was cruel nonetheless.” Logan nodded slowly

  “I do remember that, yes.”

  “It’s a little bit funny… if she hadn’t turned me. I wouldn't be standing here right now. A-and if I had listened to my mothers wishes and waited one more night…” Janus trailed off.

Guilt draping itself over him like a familiar shroud.

Logan sighed, taking a deep breath to calm his own surge of emotions back down, before he moved over and placed his hand on Janus’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

  “There is no way to change the happenings of the past… What happened happened… be it for good or bad. One can only try their best in order to keep moving forward.”

Janus gave him a tired smile which Logan returned.

  “Now, what do you want for breakfast? You are likely in need of some water and possibly some salt too after all that crying…”

Logan continued talking as he moved into the kitchen, Janus following behind, happy for the change in topic and the thought of getting something to do.

He studied the bandages wrapped around his hand and wrist.

He knew Logan had the knowledge that he healed quickly.

The fact that the witch still bandaged the wounds nonetheless, it made him feel weirdly touched by the gesture.

- - - o - - -

It was once they had finished breakfast, both nursing a cup of tea, that Logan opened his mouth to ask a question he never thought to ask prior..

  “If you don’t mind me asking…” Janus glanced up from where he had been mindlessly counting the lines of the embroidery on the tablecloth. “Did you ever allow yourself to grieve?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Your mother.” Janus’s expression pinched “Did you ever let yourself grieve?”

The werewolf looked away from the witch, down into the cup of tea, seeing his reflection stare right back.

Memories of dirt and blood under his nails.

Hands worked raw and blistering after digging a big enough hole, with that flimsy shovel they should have repaired months ago, but never got the time to.

Of the sun glaring down on him, as if it knew his crime.

Of the smell of death that was slowly consuming the air.

Of the feeling of stiff lifeless muscles and bones against his raw hands.

The struggle to lower it down with even a semblance of dignity.

Eyes unable to focus with the glare of the sun and a blur of salty water.

He knew the handle of the shovel was growing as red as the ground when he was filling the hole again.

Only a worn stone from their well’s edge to be the grave’s unmarked headstone.

  “I was the one who… killed her.” Janus could feel his hands ache as if he was still holding that flimsy shovel. “I don’t get to grieve.”

  “No… Janus. ” Logan’s tone made him glance up, finding how the witch was giving him a pained distraught expression. Putting down his cup to reach across the table to grab Janus’s hands.

Holding them with care as if they weren't soaked in blood.

  “It was an accident . It wasn’t your fault. Grief isn’t-” Logan sighed, giving Janus’s hands a squeeze. “Grief isn’t something you earn . It’s a normal emotion to have after having experienced loss of any kind, shape or form.”

  “But how can I- I’m the reason she’s not- I can’t just forget her!”

  “Grief isn’t forgetting, Janus. Grief is the love you have for that person, the love you were unable to give them while they were still alive. Allowing yourself to grieve is a step in the healing process. It can take time, there is no time limit when it comes to grief, it takes a different shape for everyone. You will very likely miss her your whole life.”

A shuddering breath left Janus’s lips, followed by a keen as he struggled to keep from crying. He had cried so much the last 24 hours, he didn’t want to cry anymore.

He had held on to the pain for so long.

He didn’t know what to do if he let it go.

He still felt undeserving of being allowed to heal.

He subconsciously still felt that he deserved to suffer for what he did.

What son killed their own mother ?

He hadn't realised how the pain and guilt he had carried ever since that night had turned prickly, over the years.

Becoming more akin to holding an armful of shards of broken glass and barbs, not realising how it cut into his skin, festering and damaging. 

 Logan cooed softly, getting up from his seat to move over to Janus’s side.

Janus looked up at him, eyes brimming with unshed tears, clinging to his lashes, threatening to fall at any moment. 

  “It hurts - How - How am I supposed to just-” Janus’s voice broke, too thick to speak, he took another shuddering breath. Lower lip trembling, he tried biting down on it to keep it still.

Logan sat down on the chair next to Janus’s.

Reaching out to hold the werewolf’s cheek, freeing the lower lip from its temporary prison at the same time with a gentle brush of his thumb. 

  “Baby steps… The first thing you can do is to just let yourself feel . Acknowledging the hurt .” Logan brushed an escaped tear away, giving Janus a gentle smile. “It will be okay in time, but for now… You can start by letting yourself cry, you don’t need to hold it in anymore.”

Janus blinked, as his shoulders started to tremble.

A sniffle was what broke the dam.

One tear fell, quickly followed by another and then they poured down his cheeks like a river.

A sob broke past his lips, followed by another.

Janus slumped against Logan’s chest, who wrapped his arms around him.

Unlike the other times Logan had heard Janus cry, this time, Janus’s cries were quiet.

The only thing to show was the growing wetness on Logan’s chest and the way Janus’s whole body trembled like an aspen leaf in the wind.

Logan held him as close as he could, while still keeping them on their respective chairs. He rubbed the werewolf’s back with one hand and gently carded his fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck with his other. Muttering and whispering praise and words of affirmation.

Just holding him and letting Janus cry.

Logan contemplated everything he had learned ever since he found the werewolf half dead in the forest that fateful December.

Logan knew Janus was likely to leave once spring arrived fully, when the nights weren’t freezing, he could only hope that the werewolf’s time at the cottage would help him progress in his healing process.

He wasn’t going to lie to himself, the thought of Janus actually leaving made his heart ache. He didn’t want the werewolf to leave, but he didn’t want to make him feel forced to stay either. Janus likely had things he wanted to do, getting stuck at a witch’s cottage probably wasn’t on that list. 

Logan glanced down, finding how Janus had cried himself to sleep. The witch brushed his fingers through Janus’s hair again, before he started to rise, carefully taking Janus with him, picking him up and moving over to the couch where the nest of blankets lay.

Logan gingerly put him down, before tucking him in.

Janus muttered something quietly, shuffling a bit to get comfortable.

Logan gently cleaned away the tears from Janus’s cheeks, causing Janus to open his eyes again. Giving away a tired noise.

Logan just smiled back, brushing his hand through those soft curls. A huff was all Janus made in reply at the action, before he closed his eyes again, seemingly leaning into the touch.

  “You can rest. I’ll wake you up for lunch if you haven’t woken up by then.” 

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 15.

As February came to an end… March began with the sun's rays growing stronger and warmer.

The snow started to melt, first slowly, in the February sun, then quicker and quicker as March’s sun grew warmer.

Creating icicles that hung from the roof of the cottage like teeth, growing longer and larger as the snow melted in the sun and the frigid night air froze it all over again.

But work the sunbeams did and soon the snow only stuck around in the few places where the warming rays couldn’t reach. Where the shadows were still freezing and the Winter Queen’s hold still lingered on the sleeping nature.

With the snow quickly melting away, more of Logan’s garden became revealed from under the thick winter blanket. That had kept it hidden for most of the whole winter portion of the year, apart from the pathways Logan kept shovelled.

Revealing mostly emptied flower beds, still bedded with the few perennial herbs and spices that had been sleeping. As well as an empty vegetable garden, sprouting a few heart leaves from what Logan had sown and planted during the fall.

Between the plots of lush fertile soul, a path made of scattered limestone chips stretched and serpentined its way along, shifting in hues from grey to a rusty red to a pale purple.

Here and there berry bushes grew and a few fruit trees stood near the hedge that circled around the cottage’s garden. Janus wasn’t sure how he missed them before, the naked branches likely merging with the rest of the forest.

- - - o - - -

With spring approaching the bird’s love songs turned, from the random early singer, into a loud choir. Randomly the calls of the travelling plows of the returning migrating fowl traversing across the sky could be heard merging with it. 

With the state of things growing warmer, the twins were ready for their one BIG spring chore:

Waking up their forest from its winter sleep.

The only problem though…

The two had extremely different ideas on how they were to do such a feat…

and were very competitive about it as well.

- - - o - - -

The tranquil morning of the cottage was broken by a loud ruckus.

Janus bolted upright from the nest with a loud yelp, having been jerked awake, throwing his hands over his ears to block out the loud noise.

He slowly opened his eyes, catching sight of Logan standing next to the window, a cup of, from the scent, coffee in his hand.

The witch's expression was twisted into a mask of tired annoyance as he looked out the window. 

  “What’s happening?!” Janus barked, begging internally for Logan to know. The witch only exhaled with a groan.

  “It’s the twins's annual fight about their ritual to wake up the forest…” Logan explained before he huffed under his breath “I am regretting lending Remus that pot and pan.”

  “Their what now?”

Janus shuffled out from his nest to join Logan at the window.

The view outside revealed the twins: roman waving his arms and Remus holding a pot and pan he now and again slammed together or pointed at Roman with as he argued back.

Logan sighed before he consumed the last of the coffee.

  “I better go out there and get them to actually start, or else they will stand there for hours.”

Janus looked after the witch as he moved to put on his jacket and boots, Janus felt kinda inclined to know more, and decided to follow.

  “I’m telling you! Your way doesn’t work!” Roman shouted.

  “It worked for the last two years!” Remus barked back, pointing the pot threateningly at Roman.

The air seemed to spark around them, their magic clearly starting to get heightened from their sour moods.

Janus found himself instinctively working his tongue and jaw to try to clear the weird taste from it the closer he got to the twins, the air tasted weird .

  “Okay!” Logan called getting the twins' attention “How about you two calm down.”

  “But he started it!” both shouted at the same time.

Logan huffed in reply.

  “We’ve been through this so many times, why is this always a recurring issue every spring?”

Remus pouted while Roman crossed his arms looking away, neither happy to accept the fact that the witch was right.

  “What is the problem exactly?” Janus asked, once the air stopped making him want to spit.

  “Remus is waking up the forest wrong!” Roman hissed pointing at his twin, Remus in turn made a chomp motion with his mouth, as if trying to bite Roman’s finger, before he puffed up like a proud bird.

  “I’m just being creative , unlike a certain someone who hasn’t changed his style in centuries.”

  “That’s because my ritual works ! You’re just making noise!”

  “IT WORKS!” Remus snapped.

Janus worked his lips again, god he did not like the air at this moment, couldn’t the twins just split the forest in two and keep to their respective side to see if it worked or not?

As if being able to read his mind Logan spoke.

  “Why not test it?”

The twins turned to him with varying expressions of confusion.

  “Huh?”

  “Wha-uh?”

  “ How ?” both blurted at the same time.

  “Why not split the forest evenly between you and Roman. You keep to one side while Remus keeps to the other, you do your respective ritual to wake the forest, not interfering with each other, and then, we can see which version woke up the forest the fastest.”

That was all the prompting the twins needed it would seem, because they were suddenly in a flurry of motions. Most likely mapping out how to halve the forest so they got the same amount of land while deciding on who got what side.

Janus yelped, taking a stumble to the side when a glowing line appeared on the ground out of nothing, shimmering in reds and greens.

The fey twins nodded before they turned their backs to each other walking away until they stood in their respective middle of the now halved clearing.

  “May the best twin win.” Remus snarked.

  “Try not to lose too hard~” Roman jeered back with a smirk.

Remus slammed the pan onto the pot with a loud shout, making everyone jump at the sudden noise.

  “ WAKE UP! WAKE UP ! IT'S SPRING ! TIME TO FUCK ! GET FUCKING! COME ON! LET ME SEE ALL THAT POLLEN AND ALL THOSE FLOWERS! ” Remus hollered banging the pot and pan together, marching off into the forest.

  “EW! REMUS !” Roman screeched face red from mortification.

Remus ignored him, continuing his shouting and hitting as he vanished into the forest with gusto.

Janus couldn’t help but snort at their antics, but he blinked in surprise when he caught sight of a few spring flowers starting to unfurl and bloom from where Remus had previously stood and stepped on the ground.

Roman groaned loudly, scrubbing his hands over his face, before he took a deep breath and started to sing, a song Janus couldn’t place but it was distracting. Roman took dancing steps forward, spinning in slow pirouettes, almost seeming to float in the air as he moved forward into his own part of the forest.

  “ Goooooooood morning~ It's spring~ It's time to wake up now~ Show me those beautiful flowers and leaves~ ” Roman sang before he started to harmonise.

As had happened with Remus, the same thing happened for Roman.

Each step he had stepped, sprouted wild flowers, all from snowdrops and crocus to windflowers and hepatica, shifting from the deepest of blue to gentle pinks and purples.

With the twins's departure, even if you could still hear Remus… a calmness returned to Logan’s cottage.

  “So… that happens every spring?” Janus drawled, giving Logan an incredulous look, the witch only chuckled.

  “Yeah… They kept trying to one up each other in the past, running around each other. Making it so that they could never really tell who’s ritual actually woke up the forest.”

  “But… won’t the forest wake on its own? I mean… it should or else it would just simply die right?”

  “Oh it will, the twins mostly just speed up the process. Normally the forest is fully awake at the end of March or early April. If the twins didn’t interfere it might not wake up until the middle of May, sometimes even June, depending on the weather.”

  “Ooh… makes sense, I guess.”

  “You can’t force nature to do anything really, only nudge it along.” Logan fixed his glasses, letting his eyes take in the slowly spreading of the wildflowers in the clearing, the twins's magic clearly at work. The dead grass from last year, starting to get overgrown by a myriad of colourful flowers.

  “Now… What do you want for breakfast?” Logan asked as he turned to move back towards the cottage, passing over the twins line with ease, since it was just there as a visual reminder. 

  “Oh!” Janus blinked, suddenly realising how hungry he was. “Well, we got that loaf of bread that’s starting to go a bit stale… So why not make some farmer’s toast?”

Logan’s eyes widened in surprise before he raised one eyebrow as he opened the cottage door for Janus, giving the werewolf a knowing look.

  “Is that your excuse to have some sweet honey for breakfast?”

  “I have no idea what you mean .” Janus huffed in denial as he entered, missing the warm loving smile that took over Logan’s face, before the witch followed inside.

- - - o - - -

The scent of food was starting to fill the kitchen.

Logan was cutting the dry loaf of bread into evenly spaced slices, while Janus was whisking the batter of egg and milk with a pinch of salt and some ground herbs for taste together in a bowl.

 Logan placed the plate with the cut up slices near Janus as he moved to put the cutting board away once he was finished with it.

He turned around to face the stove again just to find himself unable to do anything but stare.

Janus, fully focused on the egg coated slice in the frying pan, didn't notice the stare. Making sure the soaked slices didn’t get burnt, tongue poking out between his lips in concentration as he worked.

The morning’s sun shone into the kitchen from the kitchen window, illuminating the werewolf in a pale white gold glow.

It made his pale complexion seem to almost shine, as it reflected the sunlight.

His amber eyes seemed to be two orbs of pure liquid gold.

His hair, normally a dark brown, was turned to a warm hazel.

He was beautiful.

Logan blinked.

Blinked again.

Shaking his head to try and clear it.

Where had that thought come from?

He pulled himself back into the presence.
Clapping his hands against his cheeks to snap himself out of his own stupor. 

This was unfamiliar territory, it was far too early to try and figure it out at this time of the day, he filed it away in his mind for later studying.
For when he was lying in his bed staring at the roof.

He shook his head again.

Feeling more put together than he just had.

He looked over again noting how Janus was almost finished with frying the egg coated bread.

Knowing breakfast would soon be finished he grabbed two plates, tableware and cups, taking them with him to set the table.

Getting a pitcher with their beverage as well as various toppings for the slices, all from sugar and honey to a couple jars of different jams and marmalades.

He had just finished setting the table when Janus exited the kitchen, carrying the plate, almost overflowing, from the pile of the farmer’s toast.

Janus perked up when he caught sight of the sweet golden glory that was the jar of honey.

- - - o - - -

  “I’ve been wondering…” Janus started, talking around a mouthful of food, before he quickly finished chewing and swallowed it down. “You’re a witch, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Were you always a witch or were you taught magic or did you just randomly start i don’t know… practising?” Logan couldn’t help but laugh at that.

  “A Witch’s Magic is… it’s not just something you can be taught , even if many of us are. Witches are oftentimes born with it. Even if we normally wont show any powers until the ages of twelve or thirteen. But there are always some outliers. By the time our magic awakens an older witch will come and bring us to their coven for teachings and magic classes, often it’s the nearest coven from the child’s living space. So that we can learn how to, at first simply control it, and then later master it.”

  “Oh?”

  “Magic tends to be passed down via blood, so often by the time the child is of age, they already know the basics, taught to them by the parent who has magic, sometimes it’s just one, sometimes it’s both.”

Janus nodded along, so far it wasn’t so complicated to understand.

  “Wait, you said there could be outliers to the magic waking age, how old were you when you, erm… woke up?” Janus was pretty sure he wasn’t using the right terminology but Logan just chuckled, placing his face in his hand and seemed to almost smirk, it made Janus feel a bit nervous.

  “ Five .” Janus choked on his own spit, hacking for breath before he got his lungs under control again and stared at Logan with wide eyes.

  “FIVE?!”

Logan shrugged, leaning back against the back of his chair.

  “My magic woke early, I will be honest… I don't remember much from that time, until my mentor took me under her wing. She tended to say my magic was so strong my little body couldn't keep it contained.”

  “What- what about your parents, were they like super powerful witches for your magic to wake up that early?”

Janus felt so out of his own depths, struggling to grasp the how , he had understood before but now… he was right back in confusion land.

Logan just gave a small humourless laugh before he sighed and shook his head.

  “From what my mentor told me, they were both humans. Zero magic in that bloodline.”

  “I- is that even possible?” Janus had pretty much forgotten about his half finished plate.

  “It’s not all that uncommon for it to happen. It was more common before… but now, with the Church gaining stronger traction and all the hunters… not that many human born witches… actually make it long enough to be picked up by their assigned coven witch…”

Janus grimaced, he knew exactly what Logan was saying, even if the witch didn’t explicitly state it with his words.

Silence fell over the table. Heavy with the implications of what the world had come to.

Logan sighed, tiredly.

  “I’m sorry… I didn't mean to put a wet blanket on the conversation.” Janus shook his head, taking another bite of his food.

  “I wish the hunters would just stop … but, that’s nothing more than a faraway fantasy, isn’t it...”

  “Sadly, I’ll have to agree with you on that one.”

Silence fell over the table once again, feeling a bit lighter this time, only broken by the noises of them eating.

Janus broke the silence once they were pretty much finished.

  “What was your mentor like?” 

Logan blinked, pausing in his movement on gathering the dirty dishes from the table.

  “Why do you ask?” Janus shrugged.

  “She sounds like she was a big part of your life.”

  “She was, I would argue she became more my parental figure than my birth parents…”

  “You were five… I don't find it all that hard to believe.” Logan couldn’t help but give a breathy laugh in reply.

 “That’s true.”

  “What was her name?”

  “Her name given to her by the coven was Andromeda , she was a really powerful witch.”

  “Wait what, what do you mean name given to her?”

  “Every witch is given a name that reflects on their magic within the coven they’re from. If your magic draws energy from nature, you might end up with the name of a flower, tree, herb or some natural phenomenon, similarly if you draw energy from the ocean..”

Janus’s brow furrowed in thought, he didn’t even know magic could draw energy from different things. He glanced at Logan once he returned from putting the dishes at the sink, starting to clear the table of the toppings.

  “What’s your coven name?” Logan just smiled.

  “The other witches tend to call me Starlight .”

Janus’s eyes widened.

  “So, that means… you…”

  “Draw energy from the night sky, yes.”

  “ Cool .” Logan could only snort at Janus’s reply. It was pretty clear the werewolf was struggling to grasp it all

  “I’m happy you want to learn more, but don’t stress it if you don’t understand everything. The coven names are an intricate system with centuries of history, I don't fully understand everything myself either.”

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 16.

  “Here you go, kid. This should do the trick. Now remember to tell your mother to not overexert herself, okay. If the cough is to stop quickly she needs her rest”

  “I’ll do my best, Thank you, doctor!”

Small hands grabbed the bag containing the medicine, it was heavy, but he was strong!

He was going to help.

He was almost out the door when his ears caught the sound of one of the apprentices speaking up, voice hushed but he still caught their words. 

  “Doctor… you do know it’s only the two of them right? She won’t be able to rest with a little one to care for.”

He didn’t hear what, or if, the apothecary replied. Their words getting lost to the busy outside that filled small ears the moment the shop door opened.

A combination of people talking, animals calling and children playing or crying creating a cacophony of noise. 

The apothecary wasn’t too far away from the small settlement where he and his mother lived.

One well traversed hill over. 

Scurrying through the forest.

Following the path he knew by heart, despite his small age.

He soon found himself catching sight of the familiar settlement.

The few houses of varying size and colour scattered around a natural spring and its river. 

On the outskirts of the settlement, he saw the place he called Home.

A rundown small farm, in need of some upkeep but was not likely to get it.

He hurried over.

Wanting to give his mother her medicine. 

  “Mommy!”

  “Oh! There you are, darling. I was starting to wonder where you’d run off to.”

She was kneeled in the moist earth of their vegetable garden.

Hands almost as dark as the ground, from tending to the growing plants, removing weeds and making sure the vegetables weren’t sick, and growing as they should.

  “Here!” he held out the bag with both hands “The apo-cherry said you have to rest.”

His mother’s warm brown eyes widened for a moment at the sight of the medicine bag, before she smiled, brushing the worst of the dirt from her hands on her apron, taking the bag from her son’s hands.

  “Aw, Janus, baby. You didn’t need to run all the way over there-” she jolted, quickly turning to cough harshly into her shawl, before clearing her throat and continuing “This is just a small cold, dear. It will pass.”

He pouted with his whole face.

  “You said so last week! And you keep telling me that if a cough doesn’t get better in two, to get the medicine from the apo-cherry. You said so !” he stomped the ground to make it clear she was contradicting her own words.

  “I know, darling. I know, it’s just- I’m your mother, you shouldn’t have to take care of me, it’s my job to take care of you.”

She pulled him close, kissing the top of his head.

He huffed, still pouting.

The words of his reply were muffled against the fabric of her clothing.

  “But I like taking care of you…”

- - - o - - -

Janus woke.

The dream-

Memory-

Turning into a blur of vague feelings and visions… returning into the forgotten.

He slowly opened his eyes.

Bleary from tears.

He pushed himself up from his nest, from the couch by one elbow, finding how his face was wet and the pillow was soaked.

He sniffled, sitting up fully.

Rubbing at his face to try and brush away the tear tracks, using the cuff of his sleeve.

Janus scrubbed at his face, more from frustration than anything.

He hadn’t been able to get a good night's sleep in days .

Memories never letting him sleep…

Be it from before… sweet and softened by nostalgia and childhood naivety…

Or the after… filled with pain and an overwhelming sense of feeling lost and untethered. 

  “Fff ffffffffffffffuck… ” he groaned.

He just wanted to sleep, but his mind and body wouldn’t let him.

He sent a tired glance towards the window.

It was still dark outside.

Meaning, it was most likely far too late to still be awake, and far too early to already be awake.

Yet here he was fully awake, knowing from experience from the previous weeks, that trying to sleep again was futile. 

Accept the hurt and guilt… Logan’s advice sounded far easier than it was.  

Janus scrubbed at his face again, letting the quiet of the cottage reach his ears.

The only sounds were the gentle crackling from the fireplace, where the fire burned gently. The wind whistling against the old cottage walls. And the call from an owl outside in the chilly night.

If he strained his hearing he thought he could pick up the sound of something that might have been Logan snoring from his own room, but he wasn’t certain.

He pushed himself up from the nest, leaving the couch to move towards the kitchen.

A slight shiver trembling up his body at the temperature change, from the sleep warm nest, to the less warm air of the cottage. 

He opened the door to the stove’s firebox, checking if there were any embers still lit. A few glinted back at him amongst the ashes.

He grabbed the fire iron that hung on a hook on the stove to tussle the embers around, making more appear. Gathered some tinder, pieces of small kindle, twigs and gingerly placed the gathered materials into the firebox, making sure it was secure over the embers before placing some firewood on top of it to weigh it down.

It didn’t take long before it started to smoke, and then a small flame appeared, happily munching on the tinder, before moving on to the kindle and then starting to gnaw on the firewood.

Once he was sure that the fire was burning, he placed some more firewood on top before closing the firebox’s door. 

With the fire started, he grabbed the kettle.

Moving over to fill it with water, before placing it onto the stove for it to heat up. While the water was slowly gaining temperature, he grabbed a small bowl, placing it on the counter before the racks full of Logan’s collection of teas and spices. He followed his nose, too tired to try and read Logan’s neat handwriting on the labels. 

He grabbed a jar containing dried pieces of nettle leaves, pouring a bit of the somewhat torn apart leaves into the small bowl, before putting the jar back. Next he reached for a jar containing some chopped up pieces of dried ginger.

He surveyed the rack some more, grabbing some other dried leaves and flowers, putting them in the bowl as well.

Once he felt finished with his tea blend, did he take the bowl and turn to the stove once more. Gingerly lifting the lid of the kettle and pouring the contents into the simmering waters, before closing the lid once more.

Janus let the tea brew.

Removing it from the stove once the scents of the teas filled the kitchen.

He placed it on the kitchen counter, getting a cup and the jar of honey. 

With his tea ready he took his cup, gathering one of the warmer blankets from the nest, throwing it over his shoulders like a mantle. 

He opened the front door of the cottage and walked outside.

The colder night air made his shiver slightly, but it wasn’t cold enough to be an alarming issue. 

He sat down on one of the wooden benches along the wall of the cottage, flanked by two bushes, one old well cared for black currant bush and the other, a beautiful rose hip. Both had started to bloom, along with a bunch of wild flowers all over Logan’s garden, he wasn’t sure if he imagined the scent of lilacs or not, it was a bit early for them to bloom yet…

Janus sighed, leaning back against the chilled wood of the cottage’s walls.

He closed his eyes, cradling the cup of tea in his hands.

A lone source of warmth in the nighttime chill, letting the sounds of nature fill the silence.

The sounds of the wind dancing in the treetops, playing with the random wind chime, was a calming melody, joined by an early choir of birds, now and again accompanied by an owl hooting. Now and again the call from a fox or the bark of a doe, echoed across the night. 

Janus opened his eyes, catching sight of the sickle shape of the new moon peeking out just above the treetops.

The werewolf sighed, he really didn’t want to have to deal with the full moon again… but alas she had no care for his plight.

Ever changing

Ever shifting

Month after month. 

He let his head thump against the wall as he looked up, catching sight of the myriad of stars that shared the night sky with her.

He had known the constellations at some point… back before.

He wasn’t sure if he would be able to remember them now.

He recognised some of the more clear stars, but he would not be able to name them.

Janus looked back to his tea, taking a gulp before looking into the liquid as if it would hold any answers.

What would she think of him if she hadn’t been killed that day?

Would she be proud of him?

He shook his head, blinking away the tears that once more threatened to arrive.

He took another gulp of tea to try and distract himself, grimacing a bit from the heat it still held.

Doing his best to let the surroundings distract him.

- - - o - - -

The sun was starting to rise over the horizon when Logan came downstairs to start preparing breakfast.

He found Janus browsing the bookshelves stacked to the brim with tomes of all different kinds.

The witch moved over once he came down the stairs, giving Janus a curious look.

  “You’re up early?” he stated, the werewolf shrugged in return.

  “Woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep, I suppose.” Janus huffed before he gingerly took out one of the books from the bookshelf to look it over.

It was old, the purple dye on the leather binding fading in some places, details painted in silver portraying everything from stars at the top of the book to flowers and grass at the bottom. The title was written in a swirly calligraphy, extremely hard to read.

Logan moved over, a bit intrigued.

Seeing Janus open the book to check what it was about, finding pages upon pages full of beautiful realistic illustrations of herbs and magical plants, together with their name and information about their non and magical properties, what they could help with, or what their poisons could be used for.

He squinted at the written text, not as intricate and swirly as the title had been, but still slightly too complicated for his mediocre literacy skills, but while he looked the pages over he noted how there had been notes and comments added on the margins in a completely different handwriting, the ink newer, bluer and less faded by time.

  “How come you have this? Don’t you already know all the herbs by heart?” Janus asked, looking up at Logan who just smiled in return.

  “I do, that is true, but it’s a good book. A bit on the old side, so I've had to add some notes and comments, but it still has its uses.”

Logan held out his hand and Janus handed the book over.

The witch flipped through the pages before he turned to a well worn page, a stain from either tea or coffee turning the eggshells white page brown in spots.

  “It’s one of the few books that has information regarding this specific plant.” He turned the book around so it faced Janus. Revealing an illustration of a Kadupul Flower . “It’s not native in any locations near here, and I’ve only heard of it in stories told by other witches and magical creatures from the fey realm.”

  “What’s so special about it?”

  “The flowers only bloom during the full moon, but not every full moon. The flower wilts before dawn so it’s one of few flowers that absorbs an almost ridiculous amount of the full moon’s power. You need to get them fresh, otherwise it will be worth nothing.” Logan closed the book returning it to its spot on the bookshelf

  “There are a couple spells and potions out there using the flowers in them, but they are expensive and rare to come by, due to said rarity of the flower blooming.” Logan concluded. Janus blinked in surprise.

  “Huh, so you like the book because it shows you an image of a rare flower?”

  “Amongst other things, but yes.” Janus chuckled slightly, before he looked over the bookshelf again

  “So… not a hoarding problem then?” Logan made a noise of offence at that, before he lightly nudged Janus with his elbow.

  “How rude, come on, you must be hungry if you’ve been up for a long time.” Logan stated as he started to move towards the kitchen.

  “Ah, not for that long.” Janus drawled as he followed, knowing he was lying through his teeth.

Logan didn’t need to know of his sleep problems.

- - - o - - -

Janus might not have wanted the witch to know sleep was evading him, yet.

Logan did seem to almost have a sixth sense when it came to note when something was amiss.

At least when it was matters concerning Janus.

It was a few days later.

The evening sun had departed not too long ago, leaving the sky dark but still bright enough to still be called blue.

The pretty blue that had seemingly fallen like drops from the heavens, only to land in Logan’s eyes when he was born, resulting in the most beautiful deep blue of the witch irises. 

Logan himself was in the middle of reading one of his books, the thick tome familiar in his hold, as he sprawled slightly against the pillow and armrest of the comfortable one armed sofa in the reading nook of the downstairs space.

It was much smaller than the couch Janus had pretty much accidentally claimed as his own due to the location of the nest.

Logan glanced up when he heard Janus give away a huff, followed by a shuffle and the couch groaning a bit at the shift of weight.

The witch looked back at the page before him.

It wasn’t the first time Janus moved about, and from the sound of it… not the last. 

Logan was interrupted in his reading by what was definitely an unhappy whine.

He glanced up again.

  “Are you doing alright, Janus?” he asked, voice uncertain, he didn’t want to accidentally wake the werewolf if he had managed to fall asleep, but another groan was heard as Janus sat up.

Hair a mess and face a mask of frustration, his whole body seemed to reek of exhaustion but was still pulled taunt like a bow ready to shoot.

  “ No ...” he groaned, rubbing at his face, frustration clear in his voice together with something thicker.

As if the werewolf was about to start crying from lack of sleep at any moment.

  “What seems to be the issue?” Logan lowered his book to let it rest against his lap, a finger held between the pages.

  “I can’t sleep -” frustration turning into full on depressed exhaustion “It’s stupid .”

  “Well that’s not ideal, sleep is important for a healthy mind and body.”

  “I know that.” Janus snapped, before he grimaced, hunched over while placing his face in his hands with a loud groan. “Sorry, I’m just-”

  “Really tired, huh?”

  “... Yeah…”

Logan hummed in thought before he tilted his head in question.

  “Would you like for me to read for you?”

Janus glanced up, confusion clear.

  “Uhh… what?”

  “I could read for you, if you’d like. It might help ease whatever worry you have that keeps you from being able to sleep.” 

Janus blinked, not really comprehending what Logan was saying as the witch continued.

  “Or I could make you a cup of warm milk with honey, if you’d prefer that instead.”

  “Um… maybe that cup of milk… also?”

Janus still looked very confused, Logan just smiled and nodded.

The werewolf had half expected the witch to get up, but he didn’t.

Instead a wispy streak of blue magic slithered its way from Logan’s shoulder towards the kitchen.

Janus looked after it with a raised eyebrow.

  “While that’s being dealt with, I read somewhere that sleep can come easier if you lie next to someone. This couch should in theory be able to fit you too.” Logan seemed to be talking more to himself, but he looked up at Janus again at the last word. “Would you like to see if it helps? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Janus gaped for a moment, he glanced back down the nest.

The blankets and quilts, a tangled mess from his tossing and turning.

In the end the decision wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be, one part of him worried, but the more exhausted part would take anything if it meant he would get to actually sleep .

He rose from the couch. Bringing with him the blanket, who, during his shitty sleeping hours, had become his favourite.

Having accompanied him many times during his impromptu tea times outside in order to clear his head.

Janus moved across the wooden floors, bundling himself into the blanket.

Logan shuffled a bit further in on the sofa, to offer Janus more room to sit.

The werewolf pretty much let gravity do the sitting, as he slumped the moment he was no longer standing. 

  “You’re really tired, huh. Do you have any inclination on why?” Logan questioned, changing his finger with a bookmark, to give Janus his full attention, placing the book gingerly on the floor. 

  “I- I don’t know… memories I guess… or nightmares, I’m not sure.”

  “Care to elaborate on that?”

  “I mean, whatever it is I'm dreaming about doesn’t really stick around once I wake up, I'm just left with a lot of feelings and emotions and just the general vibe of it all… I can’t seem to remember what I dreamed about. I just want to sleep but I can’t- and It’s frustrating!” Janus's rant slowed to a halt when Logan reached out, placing his hand atop of Janus's, giving it a squeeze.

  “I understand, is it only bad memories and nightmares?”

  “ No …” Janus’s voice sounded utterly miserable. “Sometimes… I wake up and I feel like it’s all okay, that she will open the door and still be here… and then the present returns and I- I realise it was just the dream of a memory...”

Logan made a sad comforting noise at that.

  “The pain and nightmares of the accident were your constant, right?” Janus nodded “Then, it’s understandable that the good memories, the happy memories would hit you much harder than the bad ones… you’re not as used to them.”

The cup of warm milk getting delivered by the magical wisp, gave Janus something else to focus on than the sting of his eyes.

The honey made it sweeter, and the warmth spread from his stomach out into his limbs.

It was calming despite everything, and he could feel his mind start to quiet down, he hadn’t even realised how loud it had been. 

He savoured every sip.

Once he was finished with his drink did the lil wisp return, taking the cup from his hands and flying off to place it on the sink, to be dealt with in the morning.

A comfortable silence filled the room.

Janus seemed to almost sink into himself as he relaxed more than before.

Logan shuffled before he patted the spot next to him. Janus glanced at him with tired eyes, one eyebrow raised in question.

  “Come on, lie down.” Logan beckoned, picking up the book again and getting comfortable closest to the back of the one armed sofa. 

Janus worked his jaw, as if he was contemplating the offer, eyes glancing back towards the couch and the nest.

The now cold nest and the couch… the couch he really didn’t feel like walking back too, because moving would mean making his mind alert again.

Lying down next to the witch might under any other circumstances have made him embarrassed and awkward, but as it stood.

Janus was too exhausted to really care at the moment.

He could stress about it at a later date.

Lying down was the best decision he’d ever made.

He slumped further, eyes closing on their own accord.

He felt and heard Logan move, likely making sure they both had space on the sofa. 

The sound of Logan opening the book again reached the werewolf’s tired ears.

Janus might have fallen into a doze right there, but a nagging part of him was curious in finding out what Logan had been reading. 

He opened his eyes again, shuffling a bit, letting his head rest on the witch’s shoulder, so he would be able to see and read the pages. He didn’t notice how Logan looked surprised at the sudden contact, attention on the pages.

From what Janus could see there were no illustrations in this book, only a bunch of letters in a neat tiny scrawl.

He might have been able to read it… but Logan read so much faster than him.

  “What are you reading..?”

  “Oh, it’s a book on spells and hexes.”

  “Aren’t hexes… evil ?”

  “Everything can be evil if used for the wrong reason, nothing is inherently evil… it all depends on who you ask and if it hurts someone.” Janus hummed in thought, eyes still on the page. “Would you like for me to read it for you?”

  “If you want to… I don’t really have a preference.”

Logan hummed in thought, before he moved the arm that was underneath Janus’s head to turn a few pages back to the start of the chapter he was on.

With that done he started to read aloud.

Janus tried to follow along on the pages, but his eyelids grew heavier and heavier and soon he just let them stay closed.

Too tired to fight it.

The rumble in Logan’s chest from his words was calming, joined by the comforting scents that always stuck to Logan like a second skin. 

Janus sighed when Logan’s fingers on the hand not holding the book started to card through his hair. 

Janus was asleep faster than ever before. 

Logan felt the moment Janus fell asleep, the weight on his shoulder growing slightly heavier, followed by Janus’s breath evening out and slowing down.

Logan despite this continued to read aloud.

- - - o - - -

It was late when Logan finished the book.

Letting his magic transport it back to its spot in the crammed bookshelf.

He stretched the best he could trying to not disturb Janus, before he tried to worm his way out from underneath the sleeping werewolf. 

To no luck.

  “ Hrn …?” Janus mumbled as he blinked his eyes open somewhat, pushing himself up to sit. Still very much on the threshold between wake and sleep, barely awake enough to function.

  “Oh- I’m so sorry, Janus. I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m just going to go to my bed, you can go back to sleep.”

Janus only hummed tiredly in reply.

He sent a tired glance towards the couch, where his nest rested, now likely cold.

The thought of moving to lie down on it was not… appealing.
The thought of lying back down on the smaller sofa was… not better.

His expression must have revealed his unhappiness to the options, because he heard Logan chuckle slightly.

  “Or… if my presence felt like it helped your problem with being able to sleep...” He worked his jaw a bit, trying to figure out how to word his thoughts. “My bed is big enough for you to fit on it too, if that is something you might want..?”

Logan tilted his head a bit, observing Janus with interest, trying to ignore the way his stomach fluttered like a nervous bird. 

Janus in turn blinked slowly, as if not fully taking in the information, the words getting muddled in his still sleepy mind.

But a small part, for once being allowed to be louder, perked up when the spoken permission and offer, to not have to sleep alone for the remainder of the night, came. 

He got to his feet swaying a bit, making it clear he was going to follow Logan’s lead.

The witch had to fight back a startled blush, not having expected the werewolf to actually accept his inquiry.

Despite the vocal permission to follow…

Janus still hesitated at the stairs.

He had spent about four months at the witch’s cottage, and never traversed upstairs.

It felt… off limits.

It wasn’t his space, it was Logan’s…

and well Patton’s too since his room was located up there as well. 

Janus had no use of going upstairs, what would he even do?

He wasn’t about to go snooping around in the personal bedroom of his host who nursed him back to health and let him stick around. 

  “Come now, little one. I’m tired and you’re exhausted .” Logan murmured, voice gentle as he held out his hand. “Let's go and get some well deserved rest.”

Janus lifted his gaze from the first step to look up at Logan and his outheld hand. 

He might have hesitated in the past, huffing about it all and ignored it, but as things stood.

He was tired .

He wanted nothing more than to sleep now that he found something that helped .

Even more so when that something was offering his very company with no objections.

Janus took Logan’s hand.

- - - o - - -

  “You can get comfortable, I’m going to go and change into my nightwear.” Logan spoke as he picked up some soft yet light looking plain clothes that had been waiting, neatly folded on a desk near the bed.

Janus had come to a halt at the threshold to Logan’s room.

The scent-

That was so unmistakingly Logan had smacked him right in the face.

The combination of it with the lavendel made him feel strangely calm despite the unfamiliar room.

If he had been more awake he might have panicked over the very idea of sharing a bed with anyone , least of all Logan. 

As it were, he was utterly exhausted and there was a big, comfortable looking bed right in front of him.

Seeming to call out for him to come and rest his wary little head.

Janus heeded .

He shuffled over in a sleepy daze to the right side of the bed.

The blanket he had taken from the nest was still wrapped over his shoulders.

He face-planted onto the bed.

Sinking into the mattress, that was even softer than it looked.

He almost fell asleep right then and there, but his feet were still dangling over the edge of the bed, so he mustered some energy to shuffle more up onto the bed, until he was comfortable on it, curling up in a relaxed fetal position. 

Sleep was slowly rolling over him in waves

floating on the gentle weightlessness, barely clinging on to awareness…

He felt the bed dip…

Followed by Logan’s voice breaking past the haze…

  “You know, when I said for you to get comfortable… I meant underneath the comforter…”

The blanket he was lying on moved slightly as if tugged.

Then he felt even more weightless than before, things seemed to gain a bluish hue past his closed eyelids.

Then the weight of the comforter was thrown over him, followed by the sensation of getting tucked in.

The waves of sleep grew bigger and stronger

Janus wasn’t certain if he imagined…

The gentle touch of something warm, soft and slightly chapped, against his forehead…

He was asleep before he could muster up any energy to think about it.

- - - o - - -

Chapter Text

Chapter: 17.

The sharing of Logan’s bed didn’t become a constant after that first time.

Janus still spent more nights sleeping in his nest, but at times, when sleep evaded him, he would crawl into Logan’s bed.

He had hesitated at first, unsure if the vocal agreement from the first time applied to more than one night.

Something Logan quickly cleared up for him, it was an open invitation for whenever Janus needed it. To have someone else keep watch for dangers lurking in the night.

It was pretty clear that the lack of sleep had been affecting him worse than Janus himself first seemed to have realised.

His mood improved and it became so much easier to just accept and let go of the past hurts and guilt. It still wasn’t easy, but with renewed energy and strength, gained from a couple good night's sleep, it wasn’t as hard as it had become. 

Logan mentioned something about nurturing a good balance and trees when Janus mentioned it. Janus didn’t understand the metaphor… but he thinks he got the gist of it.

- - - o - - -

As the days grew longer, the nights grew brighter and with the sun’s steady rise higher and higher in the sky, the March equinox and spring festival was to arrive soon.

Logan was checking over his stock, way more than Janus had first realised, it took up the whole table, almost falling off at times.

Full of small jars containing the plant potions, the myriad of different tea blends in paper bags. The charms Logan had made, as well as the small bags Janus had helped him with.

The table oozed of protective and positive magic, making Janus feel as if he’d eaten another of Logan’s honey candies.

The air tasted sweet in a way he couldn’t place. 

  “How… are we going to transport all of this … to the uh- Spring festival thing?”

  “No need to fret my friend, I have this!” Logan held out two medium sized worn leather bags. A few beads and feathers hung from where the shoulder’s leather strap was secured to the bag.

Janus looked from the bag to the huge pile of magical trinkets and potions and then back again before he levelled Logan with a pointed disbelieving look.

  “You have to be joking, there’s no way all of this. ” Janus gestured to the contents on the table, “will fit in that. ” gesturing to the bags. 

Logan only laughed, before he put one of the bags down onto the floor, opening the other bag and reached inside.

Janus had to do a double take when Logan’s arm didn’t seem to hit the bottom of the bag, but instead kept going until the bag was pretty much up to his shoulder.

  “... what the fuck …” Janus wheezed out, Logan only laughed harder at his bewilderment.

  “It’s magic, the same magic that makes the cottage bigger on the inside compared to the outside.”

Janus let his head fall into his hands with a noise of defeated acceptance, a noise he only really made when magic was the topic.

It was still so very confusing.

- - - o - - -

The day of the March equinox arrived with a clear sky, painted in a beautiful baby blue and yellows, despite the clear sky it was a cold day.

Dressed against the winter chill that still hung in the morning air, even if the snow was melting quicker and quicker every day, the nights were still cold and frost would at times sparkle in the rising sunlight before melting away. 

Logan was leading the trek.

A familiar path, despite the lack of snow compared to the first time they had walked it.

The green was returning to the forest as it woke from its slumber, early spring flowers blooming turning into seas of white or blue flowers, tiny green leaves were spurting from the trees and bushes's branches.

They were moving towards the closest of Logan’s wards.

The tree that the twins had to help with, the tree that was one of many portals strewn about over the world, to the fey realm.

The tree’s branches were white

Not from leftover snow but from small pale pink flowers that were taking over, some petals gently drifting towards the ground, getting blown around by the wind.

The scent that was filling the space around it was sweet.

Despite the chill in the morning air, a buzz from bees, bumblebees and other pollinating insects could be heard amongst the flowers in the crown of the tree.

Janus closed his eyes, enjoying the quiet moment.

Logan moved over to the tree trunk, knocking on the bark three times before he took a few steps back.

In a sudden, tiny, explosion of golden glitters, Roman appeared.

Seemingly coming out of thin air, but also as if he had grown from the very grounds of the forest.

He looked more energetic and colourful compared to when Janus saw him last.

Spring flowers tucked or braided into his wild hair near his pointed ears, and he seemed to almost glow in the light from the rising sun. 

The taller of the twins yawned as he stretched, before he grinned at Logan, perking up even more when he caught sight of Janus close behind.

  “To the fey realm I presume?” Roman inquired, even if he already knew the answer. 

  “If you would be so kind, Roman.” Logan greeted, tone warm, before he glanced around for the other twin “Is Remus not with you today?”

  “Eh, he was in a prank war with some other feys a few days ago… so he’s sleeping off a fever, he’ll wake up when he’s hungry.” Roman said flippantly as if he had just stated the colour of the sky.

  “Why would a prank war make him sick?” Janus asked, moving closer to Logan, giving Roman a confused look.

Roman just grinned, showing all sharp teeth that were just as sharp as Remus’s, as he jumped a bit on the spot.

  “The idiot used up too much of his magic at once, and made himself sick in the process. Now he’s suffering the consequences. He’ll be fine, he just needs to sleep and eat.”

Janus nodded in acceptance.

Roman clapped his hands to gain their attention, even if he already had it.

Doing a pirouette on the ground, before he made a grand bow at the tree snapping his fingers, making red sparks appear at the snap.

Unlike the first time the portal opened, when the twins and Logan used their magics together, this time the magic wasn’t as strong, being only Roman's magic alone opening it.

The air in the tree’s opening shimmered as it started to spin in a swirl.

The tree seemed to almost sigh, before it started to… move?

Janus could only stare and gape as the opening in the tree grew wider and larger until it resembled something akin to a doorway.

The air in the space shimmered in hues of red and golden glitter, moving in such a way it reminded Janus of a waterfall.

Roman rose from his bow turning to face Logan and Janus once more.

  “There we go, one portal to the fey realm opened!” Roman boasted before he started to usher them through said portal “I can’t hold it forever, so let’s move !”

Janus stumbled as he was pushed through the portal with a yelp.

Roman’s hand on his back

Everything grew bright making him close his eyes and he felt a buzz traverse through him. In a way that left him feeling fuzzy at the edges.

He stumbled a few more steps, before the hand left his back and he blinked his eyes open.

and suddenly…

he was not in the forest anymore.

- - - o - - -

Instead he found himself somewhere entirely different.

Janus instantly felt small .

The beech forest around the cottage had changed to a city with big, tall and colourful houses, made from wood, stone and materials he didn’t recognise.

Some builds seemed to even defy gravity, held up by the random pole or stick. 

They had appeared in the middle of a big square.

Janus spun on his heel as he took everything in.

Behind him there was no sign of any portal.

All that he saw was a big fountain with several layers.

Shining with a mix of gold and polished pink marble.

The first layer held a basin of water filled by spouts of clear drinkable water along the edges, coin and other riches shimmered at the floor of the basin.

The second level had fishes standing on their tails, shooting water from their mouths towards the centre and final level, where a big winged statue stood, arms towards the sky, holding a water pot carved full of intricate details. From the marble clay-pot a big spray of water rained down in a steady umbrella-like shape, making the water shimmer in all the colours of the rainbow. 

Along the first basin of water people of different kinds and colours were gathered along the basin’s edge, either sitting on the edge or near it relaxing in the morning sun, or refilling their water-skins for their day’s adventures.

Janus turned around again, stumbling back into Roman, when he realised that he was not only surrounded by humans .

There were so many different magical creatures moving about, more or less humanoid.

Roman laughed at his startled expression, catching him by the elbow to keep him steady.

  “Easy…” he murmured before he turned his attention from Janus to Logan who stood a few feet ahead of them, hands on his hips and a pleased yet excited shape to his shoulders. Roman cleared his throat, gaining the witch’s attention,

Logan turned around, eyes sparkling like a child at a toy shop. 

  “I have delivered you two here safely and now I’ll leave you on your own. I have some duties and other things I want to do today, but just call for me when you’re ready to go back home, and I’ll come and make sure you end up at the right spot. Farewell!” Roman called, giving Janus a shove, causing the werewolf to yelp as he stumbled forward right into Logan’s chest, who caught him with ease. 

Logan gave a call of goodbye that got lost into the noise of the waking city, as Roman vanished into the crowd. 

  “Are you doing okay?” Logan gently murmured, studying the werewolf’s face.

Janus jumped at the words, having gotten a bit lost staring at the crowd, before he turned to look up at Logan.

  “I have no idea.” Janus blurted out, sounding a bit crazed. “It’s a lot.” Logan nodded.

  “I understand, grab my attention if it gets too much.” Janus nodded, letting a shaky exhale leave his lips.

Logan looked around, down at the bigger sea of people, he could see the stalls from where they stood, gathered in a mishmash of a pattern that made sense but for a new person could be akin to a maze.

  “Come on, let’s move to our table and set up shop, there won’t be as many people there, most have still not woken up for the day yet.”

Logan led him along, the gentle hold on Janus’s shoulder changed to his elbow and at some point through them weaving and pushing their way through the crowd it changed to Logan holding his hand.

Janus might have commented or felt embarrassed over it before, now he just held on tighter not wanting to lose the witch to the crowd.

His ears were ringing from all the noise…

The calls from sellers and vendors in a myriad of languages he didn’t understand, as well as a few heavily accented calls in his mother tongue.

The sounds of steps, booted, hoofed or other against cobble stones echoed in the air.

Children were laughing as they ran around in the crowd as if they knew the flow by heart, waving food, candy or a newly bought toy in their hands. At times accompanied by the random bark of a dog or the call of an animal, magical or more normal.

His nose did not fare much better…

Assaulted by unfamiliar scents that left him reeling. There were so many scents he couldn’t decipher what they were or who caused them to happen in the first place.

The scent of grilled meat that wafted through the air that he normally enjoyed only made him feel nauseous with everything else going on.

Janus could feel himself fraying at the seams, but Logan gave his hand a squeeze.

Giving him something to focus on.

Janus exhaled sharply and tried to inhale to calm down, almost choking on the unfamiliar scents that filled his mouth when he tried to calm down his racing heart.

The crowd and everything around him became a bit of a blur.

His only point of clear focus was where his hand gripped onto Logan’s for dear life.

Logan suddenly stopped, causing Janus to grunt as he continued right into the witch’s sturdy back.

  “Ow, sorry -” Janus slurred in apology, rubbing at his nose. Logan turned to look at him with a kind smile.

  “Don’t worry about it, we have arrived.”

Logan gestured with his other hand at a small but cosy looking stall.

A small wooden thing, with a roof of deep blue canvas. A big table where wares could be placed or hung depending on what it was that was being sold.

The old weathered wood was painted in purples and blues, speckled full with yellow stars of varying sizes and shapes, the paint gone in places revealing the greying wood beneath.

Logan took both of Janus’s hands between his own, Janus hadn't even realised how much his own hands were shaking until they got trapped between Logan’s. 

  “Sit down and breathe, in order to get used to everything, you’re safe here.” Janus nodded stiffly. “I should probably have warned you… Suddenly arriving here was a bit much all at once, huh? You haven’t really been around a crowd of this size in a while.” Janus nodded as he exhaled in a rush. Moving to sit down so that he could lean his back against one of the table legs, removing the bag from his shoulder, placing it so Logan could get to it.

  “Yeah- I’ll be fine, I think. I just- I just have to get used to the noise and scents…”

  “Take your time, I’ll get things ready in the meantime.” Logan smiled, reaching out to ruffle Janus’s hair, making the werewolf blink up at him with a slight annoyance.

Logan took and opened his own bag, pulling out a beautiful weaved table cloth, pale blue shimmering in the sunlight.

Janus closed his eyes, letting Logan set up his wares however he wanted. 

Finding the sound of Logan working as something to focus on.

He hunched forward slightly, to let his head get held up by his hands.

Shrouding his closed eyes in a deeper darkness.

Making it easier to take everything in when he didn’t have to try and figure out what it was that he was actually seeing .

He focused on his breathing, doing his best to keep it slow.

He let the sounds of the surroundings wash over him…

The random laugh ringing out of people gossiping, telling jokes or messing with each other.

The chirps and chatter of birds of varying sizes.

Somewhere bards and musicians were playing a song he didn’t recognise.

He let his focus move further away, even if he could still hear Logan moving about, putting his wares on the table until he was happy with the display. 

From the sound of things, they weren’t the only ones getting ready.

Janus caught the end of a random conversation Logan started with some other people, but he only really heard Logan’s side of the conversation clearly enough to understand.

Janus felt his shoulders relax slightly as the sounds stopped grating on his ears. 

The scents on the other hand… were all so unrecognisable and far from the norm that it took him a long time trying to decipher.

One: what they were and

Two: where they came from.

But as he let the sensations fall over him the scents started to untangle.

He frowned slightly to himself when he felt Logan hand him something, without saying anything.

Janus fiddled with it between his fingers, it took an embarrassingly long time before he realised Logan had given him one of the tiny bags Janus had helped him make.

Janus moved it closer, relaxing a bit more as the familiar scents it contained grounded him more than he expected. With it the other scents grew less intrusive, they were still there, but so much easier to ignore.

- - - o - - -

He lifted his head from the darkness of his elbows when he felt more centred in himself. Sitting up taller to start to take in the space around the stall. 

Logan had at some point found a chair to sit down on.

In a discussion with a young looking person, who had a purple sheen to their long wavy hair, and seemed to almost have something akin to scales on their cheeks. 

Janus tilted his head to get a better look, unsure what he was seeing until he caught sight of finned ears behind the strands of hair.

Realising that who Logan was talking with was likely a mermaid of some kind… there was very likely a better, proper name for their species, but Janus didn’t know it. 

They bought one of the small jars of plant potion and one of the pendants Logan had carved from a piece of bone. After exchanging the wares with golden coins and a handful of beautiful pearls in varying colours, they left with a happy jump to their step.

The crowd among the stalls was bigger now than when they arrived, but not as thick as the crowd near the fountain.

Janus had no idea how long he had been… absorbing everything, but the sun stood higher in the sky.

  “Are you feeling better?” Logan asked, turning his head to look down at where Janus was sitting. 

  “I think so…” Janus started as he took another deep breath, feeling even more centred, he moved so he was sitting more comfortably on the ground, looking up at the witch with a raised eyebrow. “So what do we do now? Sit here and wait for interested buyers?”

The witch laughed before he gave a nod, the beads and feather hanging from his pointed hat swaying with the motion.

Janus could only really remember seeing Logan wear it during the random occasion when greater magic was involved. 

His attention fell to the table, he stretched a bit to look at it better, seeing how Logan had placed a good amount of the wares onto it, in specified wooden holders.

The pendants hung from branched hooks to show, while others were placed in small piles to differentiate between what they were.

Info on what it was and its price written or carved in Logan’s calligraphy, on wooden plaques, stood near the ware it belonged to. 

  “If you want to, you can take a walk around the market and see if you find anything interesting.”

  “I.. ah, no thanks… I’m going to get lost the moment I leave.”

  “I think you will be able to make your way back no problem, but if you don’t want to, that’s completely fine. We can check it out later together, if you want.”

Janus hoped the way his face heated up at those words weren’t all too visible. 

- - - o - - -

The following hours passed much the same.

Janus had moved to sit on a chair as well, seated next to Logan, observing the people moving about with interest.

They weren’t the only stall at the market place.

Many others flanked them at the sides of were before them.

The one to their left was manned by an older witch.

With such a crooked back from age, she reminded him of a curled up pill-bug.

From what he could see from his spot next to Logan, her table was full of crystals and gems in all shapes, colours and sizes.

She reeked of something, strong enough it made his nose itch.

It felt uncomfortable as if whatever it was that caused the scent, had no interest in him, almost as if it was pushing him away, it was… different .

It weirdly reminded him of the time they got a rat problem in the shop’s storage.

Hanna had boiled some mint leaves, mixing the solution with apple vinegar once it cooled down and sprinkled the water all over the floors and walls.

It made him dread entering the storage for a few days, but he never saw the rats again.

His confused thought process was cut to a halt, when he caught sight of a huge ebony black Maine coon moving into view, pushing up against the old woman with a purr before the cat sent him a glance and levelled him with a long stare…

Janus blinked back, feeling slightly unnerved.

He had not seen a cat with such intelligent eyes before in his life, he tilted his head in confusion.

The cat only blinked once, before turning away from him, letting themself fall over and stretched out, before getting comfortable in the sun spot on the ground.

  “Logan..?”

  “Hm?”

  “That cat..?” Logan shuffled closer, so he could glance at what Janus was referring to.

  “Oh! That’s Onyx, he’s Carnelian’s familiar.”

  “Familiar?” Janus turned to give the witch a confused expression.

  “Familiars are a creature of magic who helps their witch stay grounded when casting spells, brewing potions or just using their magic in general.” Logan explained. “See them as a helping hand.”

  “Huh?” Janus frowned slightly, thinking back.

He suddenly realised that the brown tabby cat who had been glaring at him early on when he was allowed to work at the shop had likely been Hanna’s familiar... but given that he didn’t even realise she had been a witch while working under her, until the hunter offhandedly mentioned it…

Janus groaned internally, just how much magic had he missed because he didn’t know to look for it?

The moon was a known mistress, no matter how hard the church tried to erase her name. But other magics? Janus felt like stones knew more than him on that matter.

Janus blinked, as he suddenly realised something, turning back to Logan.

The witch had returned his attention to his stall and the people moving about, a gentle smile on his lips, he looked comfortable. 

  “Do you have one?” Janus asked before he could think better about it, was it rude to ask? Logan blinked, turning back to Janus.

  “What?”

  “Do you have a familiar?”

Logan’s expression stuttered, clearly not expecting that question, he blinked a couple of times, as if clearing his vision from a memory and shook his head to clear it.

  “I… ah … No.”

  “No?”

  “No.”

  “But you’re a witch ? Shouldn’t… Uh… doesn’t everyone have one?”

  “It’s- uh- It’s complicated .” Logan grimaced slightly “Some are born with theirs… others find theirs during their childhood. There… are cases of witches who didn’t cross paths with their familiar until they are around hundred or five hundred years old…” 

Janus gaped before he frowned, looking down at the cobblestone ground

  “That’s… sad.”

  “I’m inclined to agree with you…”

- - - o - - -

It was nearing midday when Logan rose from his spot, gesturing for Janus to follow.

  “Are you hungry?”