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Sakura was stuck.
To his left was Suo, his arm slithered around Sakura’s waist, held loosely, but it felt heavy and hot as it rested on Sakura’s bare stomach. The texture of Suo’s sleeve was delicate and soft and it made Sakura’s stomach do backflips.
He could feel his back connected to Suo’s chest as Suo’s breath lingered on the back of his neck.
Suo was so close–too close that Sakura’s body was red from head to toe.
It was an uncomfortable feeling, to have something–someone hold Sakura like this made an itchy sensation crawl onto Sakura’s skin.
To make matters worse, to Sakura’s right was Nirei, his face planted into the nape of his neck, feeling every soft breath Nirei made. His golden locks tickled under Sakura’s chin, making it hard for Sakura to keep his head still.
Afraid he’ll startle Nirei if he moved ever so slightly.
Nirei’s petite fingers gripped onto Sakura’s chest, his shirt getting crinkled. Yet, Sakura didn’t mind, but the way Nirei’s fingers grappled onto him only made his breathing erratic.
The warmth that they exuded made Sakura weary, nervous, and uncomfortable.
It was awkward, unnatural even. It didn’t make sense to Sakura how he was bestowed such endearment.
As much as Sakura felt unsure and perturbed by this closeness, he didn’t hate it.
He didn’t hate having someone so close to him, to be near him in such a fond way. He somewhat liked it.
He liked it too much.
Sakura could hear his heartbeat, drumming in his ears, fearing that it’ll wake them up. Fearing that it was loud enough for them to hear, fearing that they’d leave if he heard how pathetic his heart pounded.
Petrified that the warmth they both emitted would be over. Scared that this moment, where Sakura was pitifully taking as much love as he could before it’s gone as naturally it would never happen again.
It was an outlandish feeling cuddling into Sakura’s chest. He was unfamiliar with how warm, and gentle human touch could be. How skin-to-skin contact felt like ecstasy when it derived from kindness.
Now, he can’t help but crave it, crave for the feeling of human contact that wasn’t violence. The one where Sakura’s body wouldn’t be blown with hits, aching with bruises and blood that smeared his hands and face.
How did this even happen?
How did Sakura get stuck in between them?
Well, it all started when Nirei suggested having a slumber party at his place.
—
"Won’t it be fun?" Nirei exclaimed, honey-colored eyes glossed with enthusiasm.
Sakura cringed, folding his arms together. "What’s so fun at sleeping at your place?"
Suo placed a hand on Sakura’s shoulder, making a faint color of coral hit his cheeks.
"Slumber parties aren’t about sleeping, it’s about not sleeping to do all the activities planned," Suo explained, giving an eye-tight smile.
Nirei nodded, his grin widening. Making Sakura wince, feeling like a sunbeam just hit him from Nirei’s smile.
"Exactly! Suo-san gets it!" Nirei’s hand wrapped around Sakura’s arm, making Sakura flinch a bit before relaxing, the tips of his ears tinting red. "Please Sakura-san, it’ll be fun!"
Sakura huffed out a breath, turning his head in the opposite direction of the two, muttering, "Fine… I guess I’ll go.."
With those words, Sakura got thrown into the world of a sleepover, one he’d never been to.
He packed everything Nirei told him he’d need, but there was a prickly feeling of terror claiming his body.
Sakura has never stayed over at a friend’s house, let alone had a friend. But, now he had more friends than he could count.
However, the fear of being abandoned never left, the fear of adoration his friends selflessly disposed felt unreal.
It was a dream, one he didn’t want to wake from. The fear that it’ll slip from his hands forever haunted him.
Sakura felt pure and utter horror as he walked over to Nirei’s house.
What if he ruins everything?
What if he plays all the games wrong?
What if this whole thing is a prank?
What if he fucks up to the point they’ll leave him?
What if—
His thoughts halted as Nirei’s front door opened, greeted by Suo and Nirei’s smiles.
Sakura’s face wheeled from pale to crimson. There was an aura of home that clouded them, it felt so aberrant to him. That these two people would be so kind to him, so welcoming, so giving of unconditional affection that it made goosebumps sprout on Sakura’s skin.
"Welcome to my home, come on in!" Nirei took hold of Sakura’s arm, yanking him inside.
As his foot hit the wooden floorboards, he realized how different their homes were.
Nirei’s house was sturdy, his walls didn’t peel, and a parade of childhood photos of the blonde filled the walls. The only thing on Sakura’s walls were holes, which cockroaches would take as an invitation to visit his less than spectacular home.
The pungent aroma of mint with a hint of vanilla struck his nostrils. It was intense, yet Sakura only indulged in the smell.
The scent of Nirei’s home differed from his, the only smell Sakura would wake up to was rotten sewage water.
Fluorescent lights glowed under him, displaying the decorations assorted on the shelves, walls, and tables as Sakura walked through his home.
Nirei’s house was so… hospitable. It was different from Sakura’s, his home was filled with love and warmth which Sakura’s house lacked.
Somehow being there made Sakura feel dirty as if he was a speck of dirt that refused to come off, as if he was sullying Nirei’s house.
As if he was the one polluting Nirei and Suo by being near them…
Sakura’s thoughts hit a wall as Nirei took hold of his hand.
"I’ll take your bag, come on up." Nirei excitedly took Sakura’s backpack, pulling his hand as they trekked up the stairs as Suo followed behind, a placid smile on his face.
When Nirei opened his room door, Sakura was blinded by the bright colors that gleamed out of Nirei’s room.
Nirei’s room was filled with stuffed animals that covered his bed, posters of famous bands plastered on his walls, and a closet that was brimmed with button-down shirts with many florid designs. Knickknacks filled his desk and shelves, walls that were bright yellow, and piles of opened unfinished gummies and cluttered notebooks on his desk.
Whoa…
"My, Nirei-kun, your room sure is… colorful," Suo said, a teasing grin resting on his face.
Nirei blushed, flustered by the comment. "Don’t tease me, I like my stuff to be vibrant."
As the two playfully bickered, Sakura's eyes took in the image of Nirei’s room. It felt so personal, traces of Nirei laid out in the open. Letting Sakura in, which only made his stomach twist, nerves fluttering in his stomach.
It was a dizzying feeling to be poured with such a high dose of affection. Sakura felt fearful, fragile as if he’d break if there came a time when Suo and Nirei decided to leave him, declaring that he was unfit to be their friend.
They wouldn’t…
Sakura shrugged off this feeling, swallowing down the apprehension gurgling inside him, and looked back at the two who had stopped squabbling.
Nirei gestured for Sakura to come over, pulling out matching PJs for all three of them to wear.
The pajamas were baby blue, each decorated with different cartoon baby animals. Nirei held the one with yellow ducklings, giving Suo the one with wolves and the cat one to Sakura.
Sakura’s face bloomed red, embarrassed at the sight of the clothing given to him.
"I’m NOT wearing that!" Sakura hollered, pushing the PJs back into Nirei’s hands.
Suo bit his bottom lip, trying hard not to laugh. "It matches you, Sakura-san. You are very cat-like."
Sakura let out a low scoff, folding his arms. "You can’t make me wear that."
Yet, they did.
No matter how much Sakura refused, in the end, he wore it.
Not my choice, more by force since Suo held him down and Nirei wrestled the PJs onto him.
It was embarrassing, shameful even, yet Sakura wasn’t that upset about it.
He sorta liked it, it was… cute, not that he’ll admit it.
—
As the night went on, they drowned themselves in junk food, watched too many movies that rotted their eyes, and played many games, to which Sakura lost most of them.
Correction, he lost all of them.
Nirei did his best to comfort Sakura, but Sakura wasn’t having it.
Losing seven games in a row, to each different game was enough to knock his self-esteem a tad.
"Another game! I won’t lose this time!" Sakura huffed, glaring at Nirei, (who seemed exhausted and kinda terrified at the angry Sakura) and Suo who only smiled, a glint of mischief in his eye.
"Sakura-kun, don’t be embarrassed that you lost every single game." Suo jibed, hovering a hand to his mouth. "It’s alright to admit you’re bad at things."
Sakura snarled at Suo, jabbing a finger into his chest. "You say that because you literally won every game, how is that possible?!"
Suo shrugged, "Guess the spirit in my eye brought me good luck."
"A-alright, let’s calm down now," Before Sakura could pounce onto Suo, Nirei got in between them, separating the two. "It’s late, let’s get some rest."
Nirei stood up, pushing off all his stuffed animals, patting his hand onto his bed. "Can you turn off the lights Sakura-san?"
Sakura got up, his hand reaching for the light switch. "A-are… we all sleeping in your bed..?" His finger flicked the switch, hiding the dark vermilion creeping his face.
A small night light shaped like a bug glowed in the darkness, placed beside Nirei’s bed.
"Y-yeah…, is that okay? I don’t have any sleeping bags for you guys…" Nirei stammered, scratching the back of his head in worry.
Suo nodded, his typical smile never faltering. "It’s fine, Nirei-kun. We can all squeeze in."
Sakura lowered his head, feeling shy about this arrangement.
Sakura was used to sleeping alone, he was used to his broken down futon. Used to curling into a ball as the holes in his blanket failed its job to keep him warm.
Now, he was going to sleep in a bed that was made to do its job properly with blankets thick enough to keep him warm for days on end.
Sakura was hesitant, but his hesitation died as Suo pushed him forward, his feet dragging.
"C’mon now, let’s get some rest." Suo pushed Sakura onto the bed, with Nirei to his right and Suo plopping himself down next to Sakura on the left.
—
That was how he ended here, stuck in the middle.
Stuck between his friends who only grew closer to Sakura as the sun rose and the moon sank.
Sakura’s breath hitched as Suo’s arm hugged his waist tighter and Nirei’s face nestled inward.
Sakura was stuck in between them, he had no way out.
He could move, he could push them off, he could voice out his discomfort.
He could do all those things, but he doesn’t.
Sakura stays still, frozenly still as he soaked in all the warmth they blessed him with.
Noticing how Nirei’s face was clustered with light freckles along his cheeks, how the blonde of the top of his head was fading, and how his fingers twitch as he gripped and released onto his shirt.
Feeling how Suo’s slender fingers grazed his exposed stomach, how his lips briefly skim the back of his neck, and how his chest heaved up and down as he softly breathed.
Inherently, his hand grabs onto Suo’s wrist, pulling him even closer. Allowing his arm to be fully settled on his belly, his hand laid onto of Suo’s arm, making sure it doesn’t slip off.
Using his other hand to pull Nirei closer than he already was, his fingers gripping into the fabric of his pajamas, unwilling to let go.
"I’m sorry…" Sakura uttered, his chin resting on top of Nirei’s head, his eyes beginning to droop. "I’m sorry for being selfish… but…"
"But, just for today… let me.." Sakura’s words fell to a soft hush as he finally found sleep.
The awkward feeling that once consumed him died and soon, he treasured how close they were.