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Clarke clutched the dead man’s switch a little tighter in her grip. Her breath caught as the last of the grounders passed her, in awe of the sky girl about to give her life for theirs.

Their whispered thanks fell on deaf ears. Not that Clarke was ungrateful. She was just too busy dreading–

“Clarke?” Her mother sobbed. “No, no! You need to leave! Give that to me.”

Abby reached for her hand, but Clarke jerked away in a manner that had Dante hissing at her to be careful.

“Mom, I can’t let go.” Clarke said gently.

Raven, supported by Jasper and Maya (clad in a hazmat suit), approached Abby.

“I’m sorry.” Raven managed to gasp at Clarke. “This is my fault, I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s not. We didn’t have a choice, Rae.”

Raven sobbed harder as Abby rapidly glanced between the two.

“This was your idea?!” She spun to face Raven.

Raven nodded in response but was stopped by Clarke.

“No, we made the decision together. Raven only did what I asked. And Rae, I have to ask a little more.”

“Anything!” Clarke had found a way out! Of course she had. Raven pulled in a relieved breath. She just needed to set whatever plan it was in action.

“Take care of my mom.”

Raven shook her head in disbelief. Clarke was supposed to come up with a brilliant plan, not give up.

“And tell Lexa–tell the commander I would’ve been ready. If we got out of this, I would’ve been ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“She’ll know.” Was all Clarke offered before motioning for Maya and Jasper to take them.

“Always my savior,” he whispered with tears in his eyes.

Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat and turned to Maya.

“Sorry about everything. Take care of him?” She hadn’t meant it to be a question but considering their history, Clarke didn’t feel comfortable ordering her around.

“I will. And thank you.”

Clarke nodded. She watched Jasper and Maya herd her mother and Raven away. The two women barely had enough energy to walk, much less put up a fight as they were slowly dragged out. They never stopped pleading for Clarke’s life as they went.

The rest of Skaikru that had been taken by the mountain passed more stoically. Many still cried as they passed Clarke, but only a few others broke down. Harper, Jackson, and Bellamy.

Octavia and Miller held him back when he tried to rush Cage and Dante.

Eventually he was pulled back and apologized to Clarke, wishing he had done a better job.

She silenced all his regrets and sent her broken best friend on his way.

Monty brought up the rear.

“I should’ve believed you.”

“It’s okay, Monty. You wanted to believe in something better than we had.”

“And look where that got you.”

“Hey, I don’t regret this. Not if it means you’re all okay.”

Cage rolled his eyes and sighed. Dante glowered at him. The don’t upset the hostage taker obvious in his expression.

“Get our people to listen to the grounders, that’s the only way we can make things better, okay?”

Monty stared at her for a moment before taking a deep breath.

“I’ll make sure everyone knows what you did for us.”

“That’s not–”

“Thank you, Clarke.”

He slipped away before she could protest, leaving her with Cage, Dante, Emerson, and the kill switch.

The silence lasted until the doors sealed.

“Miss Griffin,” Dante smiled and gestured to the control panel the switch was attached to. “I hope you are still planning on keeping your promise.”

“Your people are safe,” she returned the smile before removing her thumb from the switch.

The BOOM from the explosions echoed and shook the room slightly, but it had nothing on the crack from Emerson’s gun. The bullet ripped through Clarke’s side and brought her to the floor.

“What have you done?!” Dante’s frantic scream pulled Clarke back from the fog of darkness that had begun to call to her.

“Sealed every entrance and exit. By the time you find a way out, your grandkids will be as old as you.” Clarke coughed up blood and sucked in a shuddering breath for her final statement.

“You’ll never steal my people or the commander’s again.”

Emerson let out a cry of anger. Dante’s face dropped before he schooled his features, but the way Cage shook in a calm rage scared Clarke the most.

Before she could discern his thoughts, Clarke’s mind slipped into the darkness.

*********

As the first few of her people walked from the mountain, Lexa couldn’t hide the triumphant smile that bloomed on her features.

She hadn’t completely agreed with Clarke’s last minute change of plans to sneak into the mountain alongside Raven, but it had obviously paid off.

The guards their army faced had to be pulled back into the mountain to deal with an internal threat. Clarke. The clever woman had done it.

Lexa waited for almost half an hour before her people streamed out the door.

Instantly, Lexa took command and arranged for the care of her people. She had been so busy getting healers sent to the right location, it took a loud, choked sob to realize Skaikru were exiting the mountain.

Abby and Raven were being led out by a young man and a defector from the mountain. Both begged the pair to let them return.

Lexa raced forward. She was pulled to a stop when Abby grasped onto her armor.

“You have to stop her!” Lexa could only just make out Abby’s words between her sobs.

“Who?”

Bellamy stumbled from the entrance with thick tears falling. He tried to go back, but Lincoln and Octavia were holding him in place.

His cries at his sister to let him go drowned out Abby’s voice.

It didn’t matter any more, though. Lexa knew. She needed to hear it, but the answer was as plain as day.

“Who, Abby?”

“Clarke,” Raven whimpered.

No. No, what is she doing?

“Stop her from doing what?”

The doors sealed with a hiss.

Lexa froze, this shouldn’t be happening. Not until everyone was out.

“Where’s Clar–”

A blast sent them scattering back as the mountain crashed down over the entrance.

Clarke had brought down the mountain and sealed her doom along with it.

*********

Time passed in a blur. Lexa was avoiding the sky people. She told herself it was because she was prioritizing her people, but really she was putting off thinking about Clarke.

Clarke, who had captured her heart so quickly.

She had work to be done, an obligation to her people that she couldn’t fulfill if she started to think of their stolen moments together. The sly smiles, banter that kept Lexa on her toes, the kiss.

But she couldn’t escape Clarke’s ghost forever.

Raven barged into her tent just as she had slipped in to eat quickly before leading their procession from the mountain.

A guard followed the sky girl and went to remove her until Lexa waved him away.

“Raven kom Skaikru,” she greeted. Lexa was glad her voice didn’t sound as broken as she thought it would.

“Clarke wanted me to pass on a message.” Raven’s tone was certainly broken enough for the both of them.

Lexa cast her eyes up and blinked back tears. She wanted to know, needed to know what Clarke said. But first, she had to understand how things had fallen apart so quickly.

“What happened in there?” Her normally commanding voice sounded weak to her own ears, but she kept the tears at bay.

“Clarke went in with me and Wick. We realized pretty quickly that they were onto us, so she improvised. She had me link all the bombs we planned to seal to the mountain to a dead man’s switch.”

Lexa felt her blood run cold at the mention of the device, but she knew there was more.

“Dead man’s switch?”

“A trigger she held in her hand. Once you press it, it becomes active but it will only go off as soon as you stop holding it. So if they–” Raven took a breath to compose herself. “So if they killed or hurt her, she’d let go and the bombs would go off.”

A moment passed before Raven managed to speak again.

“She ran up to the main doors and connected it like I told her. Monty saw it and said she told them the switch would reverse the air filters in the whole mountain. It would bring in all of the irradiated air. Everyone living in the mountain would die. They–they believed her and she negotiated for our freedom.

“She had to stay and keep holding it while we left, but now they know the truth.”

Raven may not have said it out loud, but Lexa heard the other message, now Clarke has nothing protecting her.

“I would like to go back in and get her.”

Raven looked just as shocked as Lexa was that she spoke.

“Let’s go.”

“We can not.” Lexa voiced the damning thought. “By the time we manage to get in there, Clarke will be dead, assuming she isn’t already. She’s the only one they have left, and they can’t get back to the surface. Which means keeping her alive is useless. She’ll either face a public execution or be tortured to death. That’s if they have not already killed her in a fit of anger.”

Raven’s lip trembled before her body was wracked with heart-shattering sobs.

Lexa managed to wipe away her own tears before Raven noticed. She’d already figured it out, but thinking and saying Clarke was dead were two very different beasts.

“Was this your plan?” Raven snapped. “Send our leader on a suicide mission in exchange for something? Clarke said she was ready. Ready for what, Commander? What did you–”

“She said she was ready?”

The desperation in the commander’s voice caught Raven off guard. She half expected Lexa to confess Clarke promised to give her life for the commander to protect her people. Instead, the mighty heda looked almost–heartbroken?

“Yeah.”

“What exactly did she say?”

“To tell you if we got out of this, she would’ve been ready.”

Lexa collapsed into her chair. The mask of Heda fully slipped away leaving behind only Lexa.

“Ready for what?” Raven’s quiet voice broke the silence.

She took a step back when it hit her.

“You and Clarke?”

Lexa provided the smallest nod.

“She said she was not ready for anything, not yet.” Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to lose her composure in front of Raven, but was there anyone who understood her better?

Both of them had lost the one they cared for in exchange for the lives of hundreds of their people.

Raven must’ve agreed because she crouched next to Lexa.

“She saved all of us from the mountain. We have to honor her.”

Lexa met Raven’s eyes before ducking her head. When she spoke, her voice was rough.

“Peace, between your people and mine. For Clarke.”

“For Clarke,” Raven sealed.

*********

Clarke couldn’t move. Her vision swam as she yanked against her restraints but couldn’t free herself.

“Morning, sunshine,” Cage sauntered into view.

Clarke’s snarky reply got stuck on her gag.

“I hope you didn’t think we were done with you. I admit it was a little trick convincing everyone saving you was worth the medical resources. Fortunately for you, I can be convincing.”

Cage pulled an injector from behind his back. It only took a second of seeing the red liquid shining inside for Clarke to panic.

She reminded herself of Lexa’s words, victory stands on the back of sacrifice. She had already decided to pay the cost of her people’s freedom. It just seemed to come at a steeper price than she had hoped. Instead of her life, they would take her humanity, her sanity.

“Oh! You know what it is! Very impressive. I suppose you know what this does to the savages we find. I’m curious to see what it does to an educated girl from space. My bet? You’ll become just as savage as the rest.”

He slid the needle into her neck. Clarke waited for him to inject it, but he held off. Only when her yes met his, the defiant fire still burning, did he squeeze the trigger.

*********

THREE MONTHS LATER

Lexa rolled her eyes as she rode into Camp Clarke.

She was not the only one unhappy with the name. Clarke wouldn’ve disapproved and many of the delinquents agreed with her assessment. It might be why many of them had relocated to Dropship Camp. Not the only reason, but she was sure it hadn’t helped.

Jaha was definitely a contributing factor. After Abby and Kane stepped down following Clarke’s sacrifice, Jaha resumed his role as Chancellor. Like Lexa, the delinquents found him insufferable and prideful. He had also done a lot to spit on Clarke’s image.

Lexa would much rather deal with Monty, Skaikru’s ambassador, than see Jaha, but apparently whatever he had for her was enough that Monty insisted they meet in-person.

She rode through the gates and dismounted, leaving her horse in the care of Lincoln and Octavia. As a part of the ambassador delegation, they ended up spending quite a bit of time with Lexa, to the point where she would possibly consider them friends.

Once in the meeting room, Lexa settled to wait. She wasn’t waiting long before everyone arrived. Lexa raised an eyebrow when more than Jaha and Monty came in. Kane, Indra, Jasper, Maya, Lincoln, and Octavia joined them.

Seeing her confusion, Monty spoke up, “Thank you for joining us, Heda. There have been some developments since I sent for you.”

Usually when others joined the meeting, Jaha kept silent which always pleased Lexa. This group of people, however, was very worrying.

“One of my warriors, Penn, has gone missing.” Indra explained, “And another didn’t show up today.”

Lexa didn’t mean to be insensitive, but that wasn’t her job. She had a lot of other, more pressing duties.

Perhaps sensing her impatience, Monty spoke up.

“We found an open reaper tunnel.”

Now that , was Lexa’s job.

“So seal it.”

“We did, but that’s not what concerned us. It was sealed before.”

“Someone opened the tunnel.”

“Yes,” Kane confirmed.

“I was told we do not have the equipment to unseal the tunnels.” They had the same debate when discussing whether or not recovering Clarke’s body was a possibility.

“We don’t.” Monty said, “But the tunnels were opened from the other side.”

Lexa’s heart sank as she realized what that meant.

“Mountain Men.”

Monty gestured to Maya, who stepped forward to speak. She had only been given permission to stay when Lexa realized Clarke was the one who had allowed her out of the mountain. Her knowledge of the mountain and its assets had proven useful, though.

“There is a definite possibility they have the equipment to dig themselves out. I never saw any, but there were restricted rooms and areas I was never allowed to go. If we had to clean those places, all equipment and research was moved before we got there.”

“Gather warriors. We need to send teams to see if more tunnels have been opened.”

“Yes, Heda.” They all dutifully responded.

“Monty, you, Octavia, Lincoln, Raven, and Indra will go with me to the open tunnel. We must close it for good.”

Everyone nodded before rising from their seats and heading out.

Kane made his way to Lexa for her usual update.

“Kane, how are you and Abby?”

“We are doing well, Heda. I finally managed to get Abby to move to Dropship Camp. I’m hoping the community there will be better for her.”

“I hope so, I will be stopping by once all is said and done here.”

“We are looking forward to it.” He responded with the grace of a practiced diplomat. Lexa knew he was being genuine, but her suspicions of the sky people hadn’t completely faded.

“How bad is the situation really?”

Kane immediately understood what she was asking.

“Those who know are scared. Everyone is very alert and paranoid. The whole Dropship Camp is aware. Bellamy has done a good job keeping everyone informed and prepared.

“Camp Clarke, on the other hand, has kept things very quiet. I’ve been encouraging Jaha to increase patrols, but I’m not sure if he’ll listen.”

“Just keep trying.”

Lexa raised a hand goodbye before leaving the Ark.

*********

Raven carefully pieced together her bomb while the others inspected the tunnel. She had three separate charges ready to go. They might not be able to permanently seal the tunnel, but three separate cave-ins would take them forever to dig through. Ideally this would give them enough time to prepare for the return of the Mountain Men.

“Alrighty, this’ll do it.” Raven carefully pulled herself off the rock.

“And it won’t blow us up in the process?” Monty clarified.

Don’t worry, it’s not a dead man’s switch, Raven thought to herself and winced.

Monty, Lincoln, and Octavia ducked into the tunnel to set the charges.

Raven wanted to check in on Lexa, but didn’t think she would appreciate it with her general standing right there. The few conversations they’d had were always in private and usually short. Interacting with Lexa in front of people seemed almost off limits. So naturally, it made Raven want to do it even more.

Really though, Lexa looked like she could use a break.

Just as she opened her mouth to ask Indra a probing question Lexa would certainly find amusing, a noise interrupted her.

Some kind of chant split the air.

Monty, Lincoln, and Octavia shot out of the tunnels.

“Reapers!” Monty cried, “There must’ve been some still in the mountain!”

They only just made it out of the entrance before a reaper lept at them. Lexa blocked the attack on Monty and pulled him away from another assault.

“Run!” She ordered, she wasn’t willing to risk any one of them getting caught and they had no idea how many reapers they were dealing with.

Two sharp whistles cut through the haste of their retreat.

Raven was unsure what the signal meant, but it wasn’t long before she figured it out. They were surrounded. At least a dozen reapers were around them but didn’t move in.

Slowly Raven reached into her pocket for her secret weapon.

Another whistle sounded and the reapers parted as one more joined them.

*********

“Clarke?” Lexa gasped.

Clarke was covered by bulky furs. On either side of her face, two stripes of limestone powder raced from her forehead to the middle of her cheek and over her eyes.

She held a spear in one hand while looking them up and down appraisingly.

“Clarke?” Lexa tried again. She was sure she was seeing things, but the looks on her companions’ faces confirmed this was really happening.

Lexa had been sure Clarke was dead, and she had never been more happy to be proven wrong.

Clarke started a chant with the rest of the reapers excitedly joining in before she dove for Lexa.

The commander’s quick reflexes saved her life.

With Clarke now right in front of her, Lexa noticed blood on her chin and hands. Her blue eyes seemed dulled without the spark of intelligence Lexa remembered.

“What have they done?” She seethed. Lexa promised herself they would pay, but right now, her priority was Clarke.

Clarke growled and snapped her teeth like a wild animal. Even more shocking was how the rest of the reapers seemed to look to her like their leader.

With grunts and whistles Clarke issued orders until all the group could do was carefully fight off the reapers. They could be cured, Clarke could be cured. But first they had to get out of here alive.

An odd shrieking noise filled the air.

All of the reapers tripped over themselves in their haste to get away from Raven’s device.

Clarke was on her knees with her hands covering her ears. The rest of her crew were in a similar position, and Lincoln himself seemed on the verge of a panic attack.

“Hurry, I don’t know how long it’ll last!” Raven could’ve been talking about her hold over the reapers, the duration of the noise, or the reprieve from fighting, but Lexa wasn’t going to wait to find out.

She grabbed a thick branch and some rope to secure Clarke’s hands away from her head and any weapons she had on her person.

The normally defiant woman practically whimpered as they forced her hands from her ears. She barely pulled against them while they bound her and dragged her away.

Raven dropped the sonic device in front of the reapers before limping back to the group.

“Let’s roll out.”

The further they got from the sound, the more fight returned to Clarke. They had to have one person in front, behind, and to either side of her to keep her in place. Each of them held a rope tied to Clarke’s waist so if she tried to charge any of them, they pulled tight and locked her squarely in the middle of their prisoner escort.

She growled, snarled, and spit at each one of them. Eventually she pulled at the restraints on her wrist so hard, she made herself bleed.

“No, Clarke! You need to stop!” Octavia pointed to the blood dripping from her wrists.

Clarke dug in her heels and brought them to a halt.

She stared at her bound hands with intense concentration, growling when anyone tried to move her along.

“Why won’t she stop staring at her blood?” Monty asked, more than a little freaked out.

“It’s red,” Lincoln said. If he was anyone else, he might’ve added, “duh” on the end.

“But it’s not the red.” Monty clarified.

“That doesn’t matter to her.”

Lexa’s stomach rolled at the thought of Clarke so desperate for the drug she saw it in anything red.

“I don’t wanna be the one to say it, but we have to go back.” Raven said.

“Why would we ever go back there,” snapped Octavia.

“Few reasons. One, the bombs are already set up. Something tells me they’ll notice if Clarke doesn’t come back. Turning her into a reaper is probably a point of pride for those douchebags. Eventually they’ll go looking for her and will find the explosives instead of Toto here. And B–”

“Toto,” Lincoln frowned.

Octavia cast a scrutinizing look at Clarke before rolling her eyes in understanding. She looked like a dog chasing its tail as she attempted to circle in an effort to bring her mouth closer to her tied-up, bloody wrists. Had it not been such a shocking and heart wrenching revelation, seeing the big, bad Clarke Griffin pouting when she found she couldn’t get close enough would actually be kinda funny.

“A dog from an old movie.” She finally clarified as Clarke huffed in frustration.

Seeing more questions than answers on the faces of the grounders, Raven opted to continue.

“ And B , if we can get some red it’ll help–whoa.”

At the word “red,” Clarke whipped over to face Raven and dropped to her knees in front of the mechanic.

She strained against the ropes to bring herself as close as she could. Clarke seemed almost on the verge of tears when a whisper fell from her cracked lips, “please.”

Her raspy voice broke as she struggled to get the words out.

“Red, please.”

The gang stared at Clarke in shock, Lexa clenched her jaw in a desperate bid to bite back her anger at the mountain. They had broken her defiant Clarke. She could see anger rising in the others as well, but no one came close to feeling the same inner turmoil Lexa did. She was proud and undeniably happy Clarke was alive, devastated and desperate to offer relief, but that paled at the fury that raged through her veins.

She took a calming breath and the others followed her example. No one wanted to frighten Clarke and make the situation any worse.

The reaper, mistaking their hesitation for refusal, scooted barely closer to Raven and exposed her neck, ready for her next dosage.

“Sorry, Clarkie, I don’t have any.” Raven held her hands out with her palms facing Clarke to prove it.

A heartbroken look flashed across her face before it gave away to rage as she flung herself at Raven.

“No!” Octavia shouted before she, Lincoln, Indra, and Lexa yanked on their ropes, putting the once again feral and snarling Clarke locked between the four warriors.

“Okay, cool, cool, cool. Don’t casually drop the r-word,” Monty summed up.

“We said it earlier,” mumbled Octavia.

“She was distracted by her blood.” Lexa realized, she faced Clarke again and found the girl staring at her curiously.

“Right, we should get more of Clarke’s meds if we can. It’ll hopefully let us wean her off the drugs instead of going cold turkey. It should be safer.” Raven tacked onto the end at the grounders’ confused looks, cold turkey? What did that mean?

Regardless, Lexa trusted her. She didn’t want to return to the mountain, but it would allow her to show them exactly what she thought of Clarke’s harsh treatment.

“Monty, Octavia, and Lincoln will join me. Octavia and I will retrieve the–Clarke’s medicine while Lincoln protects Monty.

“There will likely be reapers on our tail so, Monty, you will have to be ready to detonate the tunnels right behind us.”

Clarke had become silent as she watched Lexa speak. Her unreadable expression only added to their confusion.

“Clarke?” Raven whispered.

Her eyes snapped back to Raven with a silent snarl on her lips.

Lexa took a breath and reminded herself no one here would judge her and Clarke’s relationship. So she took a chance.

“Clarke, look at me.”

Instantly blue eyes were on Lexa’s green. Clarke’s face looked content but also weary. As if she was unsure why she trusted Lexa.

“Hi.” Lexa whispered.

Clarke’s head tilted to the side just a little, but she otherwise ignored Lexa’s comment.

Lexa hadn’t realized they’d been staring at each other for an abnormally long time until Indra cleared her throat.

“Let us secure Clarke.” Heda snapped to attention. If the smirk on Raven and Octavia’s faces were any indication, she did not handle that as subtly as she would have hoped.

They tied Clarke to some of the trees before preparing to head out. Surprisingly, Clarke made no move to fight them. She kept her intense gaze locked on Lexa the whole time and didn’t make a single noise in protest.

“Indra, Raven, stay and guard Clarke. We will return shortly.”

“Yes, Heda.”

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

Lexa took a step back toward the mountain, but a loud, angry noise tore from Clarke’s mouth.

She stepped back to check on Clarke and found her silent again, her expression calm, but attentive, and focused on Lexa.

A smirk flicked across Raven’s mouth and Lexa knew she wasn’t going to like what she had to say.

“Take a step towards me.”

Lexa scowled but complied and was promptly met with a shout from clarke.

If possible Raven’s smirk became even more mischievous.

“Heda, you should stay here. We don’t want Clarke attracting any of her new buddies.”

“You take a step away, Raven. She might not want any of us to leave.”

To Lexa’s embarrassment, and maybe delight, Clarke didn’t react when anyone else stepped away.

Indra joined the group to the mountain while Lexa sat with Raven and Clarke. Both were staring at her with rapt attention, but only one of them was sitting quietly while the other cackled at random intervals.

“This is too cute.” Raven didn’t bother trying to hide her delight.

After some trial and error (and Raven referring to Clarke as Goldilocks a good number of times), they had determined Lexa couldn’t be more than ten feet from Clarke or closer than five feet without causing her to burst into a loud, violent frenzy.

Of course, Raven’s favorite part was the look on Clarke’s face when Lexa was in the ‘safe zone’.

She kept her eyes trained on Lexa, a hint of a dopey grin buried beneath the limestone and blood on her face.

“I can’t even tell you how badly I wish I had a camera.”

Lexa frowned.

“It’s kinda like a painting or drawing. You guys have those, right?”

With no one but the disrespectful skai girl and Clarke in sight, Lexa allowed herself to roll her eyes.

“Yes, Raven, we have paintings and drawings.”

“Cool, a camera makes a painting instantly. I want that ,” she gestured to Clarke’s face, “on display at your wedding.”

Lexa stiffened but before she could say anything, Raven threw her hands up in mock surrender.

“Hey, just teasing.”

Lexa turned back towards Clarke in an effort to ward off communication, something Raven seemed to be immune to.

“I can’t wait until you two start dating, it’s going to be so easy to tease little miss heart eyes,” she snickered at Clarke.

“Not likely.” Lexa muttered, but Raven caught her quiet confession.

“What does that mean?”

“I doubt there will be a relationship for you to tease.”

“What? Did I miss when you secretly got over Clarke?”

“I doubt she would be interested–”

“She said she was ready!”

“That was then, this is now. I can not imagine she would be ready after all she has been through.”

Raven scoffed, “Look her in the eyes, Heda.”

Lexa resisted Clarke’s siren song for a moment, but she couldn’t hold out forever. Bloodshot, blue eyes were already gazing at her. There was no anger or conflict swimming in them. Or if there was, it vanished with Lexa’s eyes on hers. She lost track of how long she had been searching Clarke’s soul, but when she turned back to Raven, the mechanic had an uncharacteristic, serious look on her face. Expecting some snark, the sincerity caught the commander off guard.

“Let her decide, don’t count her out just yet. She looks at you like you put stars in the night sky. She’s really going to need people in her corner to help her out of this funk and whether she realizes it or not, she chose you for that.”

Lexa faced the forest and escaped the looks on Raven and Clarke’s faces.

“Real mature,” Raven muttered before jumping in fear.

Lincoln, Indra, Octavia, and Monty burst from the trees, scaring Raven half to death.

“Y’know, it’d be nice if you shared your findings with the class next time, Commander.” She grumbled.

Indra raised a case in Lexa’s direction.

“We retrieved the drug, Heda.”

“What of the tunnels?”

“Destroyed,” Octavia proudly declared.

“Good, let’s move.” Raven accepted the case from a cautious Indra. Lexa didn’t blame the chief. Some part of her was anxious to watch Raven inspect it.

The four warriors each grabbed a rope and set out on their journey before being promptly stopped by Monty.

“We can’t take Clarke to Camp Clarke, Jaha will have a conniption.”

“Dropship Camp, then,” Raven supplied. “We need Abby anyway.”

“I don’t think we should just barge in there. We probably should keep this quiet, Jaha might order us to make Clarke leave camp. I’ll run ahead and make sure our back entrance tunnels are clear. I’ll also get Bellamy, Gina, Kane, and Abby and tell them the good news.” Monty waited until Lexa nodded her agreement before he raced off into the woods.

Lexa had come to develop a friendship with Bellamy and his girlfriend, Gina. They had done a good job as leaders of Dropship Camp and Lexa knew they would do all they could to save Clarke.

They made it to the tunnels with no major problems.

Less of a problem and more of an odd situation had arisen, though.

Clarke’s eyes never strayed from Lexa. She tripped over roots, rocks, bumps, and even her own feet as she neglected to watch the path. Which forced the others to tighten their hold on the ropes just to keep her on her feet.

As if that wasn’t enough, Octavia, like Raven, kept smirking and chuckling. Fortunately , she seemed to think Clarke’s crush was one-sided, so Lexa was spared her teasing looks in addition to Raven’s. Lincoln had a politely amused look on his face and even Indra’s face had softened from its typical scowl.

“It’s clear!” Monty’s voice echoed through the tunnel.

Lincoln took the lead as they made their way through the tunnels and into the camp.

Once they emerged on the other side, Lexa noticed that almost everyone was gone, Bellamy must have gotten them to vacate the area.

The man himself was staring at Clarke in shock, just like Kane. Gina looked more frightened than anything, as she didn’t know Clarke, but Lexa could imagine the feral, aggressive woman didn’t line up with the stories she’d heard.

Kane had to practically hold Abby up. Her hands covered her mouth and tears rushed down her cheeks as she took in her blood soaked daughter.

Clarke was still eyeing Lexa, but was struggling more against her bonds. The commander moved to capture more of Clarke’s attention and keep her calm.

“Clarke?” Abby sobbed.

Clarke seemed to realize there were more people than the little entourage she had been traveling with.

She let out a war cry and dug her feet into the soft ground to gain more traction as she tried to reach her new targets.

“Bellamy!” Lexa snapped. She held the rope up in his direction and he shook off his shock to dart forward and take it from her.

Lexa positioned herself between Clarke and the welcoming party.

Clarke let out an animalistic growl when Lexa got in her way, but never stopped her efforts to escape.

“Clarke, Clarke, it is alright.” She held her hands up in surrender, hoping her unarmed status (that Clarke knew of) would calm the girl. “It is alright.”

“No, Clarke! Bad, Clarke!” Octavia tried after the woman had managed to pull them forward a little.

“She’s not actually a dog, O!” Raven cried.

“Enough!” Lexa commanded.

The others stopped bickering and focused on Clarke. They stopped shouting over one another which let Lexa tune out Abby’s sobs behind her and her friends’ grunts. The drug clearly gave Clarke some strength and it was all they could do to contain her.

“Clarke, look at me, I am right here.” She adopted a softer, soothing tone that had Clarke calming down, if only slightly.

She dragged her bloodshot eyes back to Lexa and curled her lip in annoyance.

“Well done. You are going great, Clarke. Just focus on me.”

The reaper’s heavy breathing slowly started to calm with Lexa’s careful tone and reassurances.

The minutes slowly dragged on, letting Abby get control of herself so she wouldn’t draw Clarke’s wrath. A sniffle or muffled sob could be heard, but now that Clarke had locked in on Lexa again, it didn’t matter as much.

Eventually, she stopped fighting against her restraints and was standing still. Her confused and distressed mannerisms had greatly calmed.

“We are taking Clarke to the dropship, yes?” Lexa maintained her soothing tone and Clarke’s skeptical expression slowly melted back to trusting. The commander wasn’t sure if Clarke understood what she said, or if she was just content with the rhythm of her voice.

“Yeah, up to the top floor. We helped–” Bellamy shot an indiscernible look at Lincoln before continuing, “Uh, we helped Lincoln detox in there.”

“Start heading towards it.”

Lexa ended up walking backwards the whole way, never breaking eye contact with Clarke. Everyone seemed to understand how fragile the situation was and only spoke if it was necessary.

It took some awkward maneuvering, but they managed to get Clarke up to the third floor. Her restraints slowly came off with two warriors holding her, Lexa calming her, and two securing her to the binds they had in the ship.

They only had a few bouts of Clarke trying to kill them, so all in all, it seemed like a success. Until the rest of the crew came piling in. As more and more people entered the upper level, Clarke got more unhinged.

She lunged forward, roaring and screaming at them in anger. She started to reopen the wrist wounds from the rope, but even the blood couldn’t distract her from her need to defend herself against the invaders.

“We can’t have everyone in here.” Bellamy huffed as she scooted away from Clarke’s attempt to bite him.

“Myself and another warrior will remain with Abby. Everyone else needs to leave. We will keep you all updated and let you know if we require supplies.” As she expected, Clarke turned to face her, but there was no calming effect this time.

“I’ll take the first shift with you, Commander.” Raven grabbed a gun from Bellamy who made a slight noise in protest.

“You are no warrior, Raven.”

“Well, I’m not going anywhere, so what’s it gonna be?”

Lexa narrowed her eyes as she thought. She agreed that Raven wouldn’t be leaving unless she decided to. And really, Lexa could handle Clarke on her own if it came down to it.

“You may stay.”

Indra looked like she was going to argue, but Lexa waved the rest of them away.

At some point, Raven must have passed Abby the case. As the rest of the group descended to the floor below, she popped in open and took stock of its contents.

Like she had in the woods, Clarke attempted to drop to the ground at the thought of receiving what she longed for. The bounds on her wrists didn’t allow her to get all the way on her knees, but she was begging as much as she could.

“Please.” She whined.

Abby’s lower lip started trembling as her eyes filled with tears.

“Clarke–”

“ Please. ” She tried again, even more desperate than before.

Raven cleared her throat and crouched next to Abby, her bad leg stretched out next to her.

“Abby, I know this is hard, but I need you to focus on me.”

“Red!” Clarke screamed.

“I know Monty gave you a quick run down–”

Clarke let out a cry of frustration and yanked as hard as she could against her restraints. Raven increased her volume to be heard over Clarke’s cries.

“--so you know that we need to wean her off the drug with what we have here.”

“Yes, okay, uh–”

“RED, PLEASE!”

Abby followed Raven’s exaggerated breathing to calm herself while Lexa tried to draw Clarke’s focus away from them. It was no use, nothing mattered aside from the red.

“We have enough for maybe a week.”

“RED!”

“Good, should we do her first dose now?”

Abby clenched her jaw and nodded.

Clarke stopped her frantic movements as Abby stood up with the injector. She slackened against her bindings and exposed her neck.

Raven held Abby’s hand to steady it as the needle slid into place. She carefully squeezed the trigger for Abby and pulled the injector away.

All the tension melted out of Clarke. She tossed her head back, eyes closed, mouth hanging open, and panted heavily in relief. 

She seemed to chase the high for a few moments before her muscles started clenching. It looked painful, but Clarke didn’t seem concerned.

Raven wrapped Abby in her arms and pulled her away from Clarke. She helped the doctor settle before approaching the commander.

“You think you can handle a week?”

Lexa’s eyes flashed with something Raven couldn’t identify. Something sad?

“If Clarke can, as can I.” She spoke with conviction, never moving her eyes from the blonde, who was looking back at her.

“Settle in,” Raven advised. “This is gonna be rough.”

*********

Clarke didn’t know who these people were, but they were starting to drive her insane.

There was something about them that felt safe. Like she didn’t have to be fighting, but they did still drag her somewhere all tied up, and they kept her tied up even now. In the mountain, Clarke came in, asked for red and was sent back out.

Here, Clarke couldn’t go anywhere or do anything and even when she asked, when she knew they had red, they wouldn’t give it to her. She wanted to go back, she wanted her red when she did something good. She wanted her red. Now.

*********

Clarke laid against the table, pulling against her restraints the moment she saw Cage. A part of her screamed in anger, in rebellion. She wanted nothing he could give her, she wanted her freedom. Her family needed her. She knew she had a family but couldn’t recall their names or what they looked like. There was something she had to do, someone she had to see, but nothing she did reminded her what it was.

Another more primal part of her won out. She wanted the red. Needed it.

Clarke wasn’t sure how long she had been here, but her body already ached for it. Without even thinking, she exposed her neck where the needle always went in.

No, no! You don’t need this! Victory stands on the back of sacrifice, you can do this.

Clarke wasn’t sure what victory or sacrifice the words were referring to, but it seemed important to her that she fought against Cage. The voice in her head that reminded her of the phrase didn’t sound like her own, it was more soothing. More calm and instructional.

She had been fighting again and again, but she couldn’t even remember what for. So Clarke clung to the soothing voice in her head, the only thing it seemed she was able to bring from before. From when she could concentrate for more than a few seconds at a time.

Victory stands on the back of sacrifice. Victory stands on the back of sacrifice. Victory stands on the back of sacrifice. Victory stands on the back of sacrifice.

“Say please, Clarke. Say please and I’ll give you the red.” Cage sneered.

Victory stands on sacrifice. Victory stands on sacrifice. Victory stands on sacrifice.

Red, the red is right there.

No!

Victory.

Sacrifice.

Victory.

“C’mon, Clarke. Be a good little reaper.”

Sacrifice.

Victory.

Sacrifice.

Sacrifice.

Sacrifice…

“One little word,” Cage cooed. “Say please.”

Clarke’s body was burning and it was getting harder to think. She couldn’t remember what she was holding onto.

“Please.” She choked out.

“What was that?”

“Please! Give me the red, please!”

A moment later, she got what she wanted.

*********

They didn’t understand. She had been good, so where was her red? Where was her reward?

She tried to tell them, but it was too hard to find the words she needed, so she leaned back to the only ones she had practiced for as long as she could remember.

“Red, please?” Clarke asked, her lower lip trembling.

“Not yet, Clarke.”

That voice. Clarke was certain she had heard that voice before. Without realizing it, her eyes locked on one of the women. There was something about her that made Clarke want to trust her, but she wasn’t sure what.

“Not much longer, Clarke.” The voice gently soothed.

Clarke was certain it came from the woman, but she wasn’t sure what was being said. Something about her tone just sounded…nice. She wanted to hear more. She couldn’t get enough of it, like the red–

“Red, please.” Clarke begged. What had she done that made them so angry with her?

One of the two with the not-nice-voices spoke up.

“Half an hour, you can do this.” She held a gun in her hands and Clarke glared at her. She was a guard, like the ones at the mountain. The ones who hurt them if they didn’t listen. Clarke felt the panic build and she tried to pull her arms close to ready for an attack but they wouldn’t respond.

She let out an angry cry and pulled harder.

“Clarke, stop. Look at me, Clarke.”

That voice. Clarke was certain she had heard that voice before. The green eyes staring back at her reminded her of the forest. The only place she was free, until she went back in for the red.

“Pretty.” Came out instead of the red she wanted to say. Clarke couldn’t exactly remember what it was, but it felt nice to say. Like it was the right thing.

Red: what she wants. What makes her feel good. What she needs.

Please: what she says to get the red.

Pretty: the woman with forest eyes and a nice voice.

The woman’s mouth opened and she stared at Clarke, who tilted her head slightly.

“Pretty.” She said again, maybe the woman didn’t hear her the first time.

She shook her head and moved slowly closer to Clarke with her lips curved up. Clarke liked that face. It looked like she was nice. She wasn’t going to hurt Clarke.

“Thank you.” She whispered.

That voice. Clarke was certain she had heard that voice before. She just kept staring at her, wanting to hear more, but not knowing how to ask.

*********

Lexa wasn’t sure how long she sat waiting for Clarke to say something, but it didn’t matter. She was perfectly content.

“Alright, no more staring into each other’s eyes.” Raven teased, but Lexa saw the spark of excitement on her face.

Clarke saying anything other than “red” and “please” felt like a miracle. Especially after three days of her screaming and fighting and begging for her drugs.

Abby readied the syringe and Clarke’s focus snapped to Abby before she dropped down to her knees again.

They had loosened the restraints a little to let Clarke get more comfortable. The main concern was her accidentally hurting herself in a fit, but with Raven and Lexa there, they’d had pretty good luck containing her outbursts.

All three women had refused to be traded out while keeping vigil over Clarke. They had realized that there was something about Lexa’s voice that would catch Clarke’s attention, Abby was the only doctor at Dropship Camp, and Raven just shooed away anyone who tried to take over for her.

“Red, please.” Clarke whined.

“Yes, Clarke, here you go.” Abby crouched next to her and gave her the drug.

Lexa turned away, she hated watching Clarke so readily accept the red. She waited a few minutes for the euphoria and initial muscle spasms to pass before checking on Clarke again.

Abby told them to use her name as much as they could to slip into conversation to comfort her. Lexa had no problem with it, but Raven had already complained a few times that after saying it so much, ‘Clarke’ didn’t really sound like an actual word anymore.

“You’re going great, Clarke.” Abby praised. She reached out to place a hand on her daughter’s head, but Clarke snapped up and Raven darted forward just in time to pull Abby out of her way.

Clarke yanked against her restraints and let out a war cry.

Before she could do any damage to herself or the others, Lexa placed herself in front of Clarke and held her hands up. She crouched a little to seem like a smaller threat.

“Clarke, look at me. You are safe. Everything is okay.” She repeated that phrase again and again until Clarke settled down and focused her attention on Lexa again.

It really was a little ridiculous how she would only listen to Lexa, but she would never complain. Something in her heart warmed everytime they locked eyes.

“Very good, Clarke.”

“Pretty.”

Lexa flushed. The new word in her vocabulary, although incredibly flattering, embarrassed Lexa slightly. Raven’s face split into the biggest smirk everytime and Abby had stared Lexa down for a long time before turning away again.

It may seem like a silly nickname, but Lexa hoped it meant something a little more. A connection that was keeping Clarke grounded to hope like it was for Lexa.

“Hi, Clarke. Are you feeling better?” That was another thing, she never seemed to understand what was said, but Lexa always had her undivided attention.

Slowly, the commander sank to the ground and settled down in front of Clarke.

“Do you want to sit with me, Clarke?”

After staring at her for a moment, Clarke dropped to the ground with Lexa just out of reach.

“Are you alright, Abby?” Lexa maintained eye contact with Clarke despite addressing the woman behind her.

“I’m fine. Thank you for keeping her calm.”

“Of course.”

“Just don’t forget you’re not the only two in here,” Raven piped up. “I don’t need to see anything that is going to scar me for life.”

Lexa shot a glare at the mechanic.

“No,” Clarke whined.

All eyes in the room snapped to Clarke.

“And she’s up to four!” Raven called out triumphantly. “Heda, look away from her again.”

Lexa sighed, remembering this same game up in the mountain, but she did comply and pulled away from Clarke a little while turning towards Abby and Raven.

“No,” Clarke muttered sadly.

Lexa turned back and found Clarke trying to reach her.

In what she would later admit to not being her smartest move, Lexa went towards the reaper.

Clarke reached up and cradled her face. It didn’t seem much like a lover’s embrace, more like she was inspecting her.

“I know she’s being friendly, but right now, she’s still a reaper, Lexa. You need to get out of reach.” Abby warned.

Lexa ignored her worries as Clarke carefully moved her face this way and that to seemingly see each angle.

Before Lexa even realized what happened, Clarke yanked her forward and trapped her in her arms.

“Lexa!” Raven shouted.

She wasn’t sure what to do, hurting Clarke to escape would only damage the tentative trust they had built, but she might not have a choice. As she prepared herself to fight, Lexa felt a wave of shock roll over her.

Clarke laid down on the ground, and with her arms around Lexa, snuggled closer to Heda before closing her eyes.

“Uh, are you two…cuddling?” Raven asked.

“It seems so.” Lexa responded, her voice muffled by the shoulder Clarke had pulled her into.

“Well, uh, okay then.” Raven shuffled around for a moment before it sounded like she settled down. Lexa couldn’t see her while her eyes were trained on Clarke’s face. It slowly softened and her breathing evened out.

Carefully, so she wouldn’t startle Clarke, Lexa reached out arms over the blonde’s body and held her the same way Clarke was clinging to her.

A little content hum came from her before Lexa gave into her exhaustion and they fell asleep.

*********

That day became a turning point for Clarke’s recovery. She began using more words to communicate with them, but still spoke with the broken language of a child. She also continued to expect Lexa to join her when she was going to sleep. Despite Abby’s worry and Raven’s obnoxious amusement, Lexa was more than happy to comply.

As soon as Clarke started to shift, though, Lexa got up and out of the way. She was often cranky when she woke and usually demanded her drug.

Raven and Abby were settled on the other side of the room and, per usual, Lexa was in Clarke’s arms. Only today, Clarke’s finger was gently tracing her face.

“Pretty Lexa.” She mumbled, just between the two of them.

Lexa couldn’t help the way her jaw dropped slightly as Clarke continued on as if nothing had happened. They were nearing the end of the week and she still hadn’t used any of their names until this moment.

Lexa caught Clarke’s hand in her own. The blonde looked at her with a puzzled look.

“Pretty Clarke.” She responded before tracing Clarke’s features like she had been moments ago. “You remember that, right? Remember that you are Clarke.” She kept her voice quiet, like Clarke had.

Blue eyes fluttered shut under her touch, but Lexa didn’t stop.

“You are smart Clarke, brave Clarke, nice Clarke, and pretty Clarke. You are Clarke, all those great things. You may not understand what I am saying just yet, but you are incredible. If you are willing, my offer to come to Polis still stands. I want to get to know you, all of the different yous you are. My amazing Clarke.”

There was no response, but Lexa wasn’t expecting one. She kissed the top of Clarke’s head and held her closer as they slipped into unconsciousness.

*********

Clarke was calling for her drug when it happened. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head and she dropped to the ground.

In an instant, Lexa, Raven, and Abby were there and ready to fix it.

Abby’s face was masked by horror before it steeled into resolve.

“Lexa, do you remember the CPR we went over?”

“Sha–yes, Abby.”

“Good, start chest compressions right now.”

Fear settled in that back of her mind, but Lexa complied and began chest compressions while Raven collected the shock stick.

Abby’s steady hands roamed over Clarke as she looked for anything else that could have caused this, but they knew it was the withdrawal from the red. Abby had warned her, but it was still jarring to know she was keeping Clarke’s body from being claimed by death.

Crack!

Lexa winced and met Abby’s eyes, but she continued.

“That’s good, Lexa. That means you’re doing a good job.”

They had discussed the probability that she would break a rib, but a small part inside of her cried out at hurting Clarke. It still burned to know she had harmed Clarke in any way.

“Got it!” Raven passed Abby the shock stick.

“Clear!” She called out and Lexa pulled away from Clarke, grateful for all of the discussions she had with the two women to prepare her for this situation.

Clarke’s body arched against the ground before dropping again. Abby felt for a heartbeat and paled.

“Clear!”

Lexa’s heart dropped when Clarke’s body went limp once more.

No, no, no, no, no!

She grabbed the stick from Abby’s hand and replicated the doctor’s movements.

“Get up, Clarke!” She shouted as the shock jolted through Clarke’s body.

When she pulled it away, Clarke drew in a breath of fresh air and groaned.

“Lexa?” She mumbled when she opened her eyes.

“Hey, you are alright, Clarke.”

Clarke smiled at Lexa before being engulfed by Raven and Abby.

*********

Hours later, Abby finished checking on Clarke for what had to be the hundredth time before leaving her alone with Lexa in the med tent.

Lexa had stayed leaning against the wall while their close friends came in to visit with Clarke before the blonde requested some peace to sleep.

Lexa had originally moved to join the crowd as they left before Clarke called her back.

“Thank you for everything.”

“There is no need for thanks.”

“Where I come from–”

“You are welcome, Clarke.” Lexa cut her off with a sly smile.

Clarke held out a hand and she only hesitated for a moment before coming closer and taking it.

“Thank you for saving my life, and putting up with me, and bringing me back, and not giving up on me.”

“You are strong, Clarke. I knew you would make it through.”

Clarke squeezed her hand before she sucked in a deep breath.

“I remember what you said, your offer still stands for Polis. I think after everything, I could use a change of scenery.”

“Whenever you are ready, Polis would love to have you.”

“I think I’m ready now.”

Blue met green for only a second before the moment broke and Clarke tugged Lexa down to meet her lips.

They embraced in a searing kiss that lit every part of Clarke on fire.

Eventually, they both had to pull away to get oxygen back in their lungs, but kept their foreheads touching.

“Pretty Lexa.” Clarke cooed.

“Strong Clarke.” Lexa smirked before diving back in.