Work Text:
katsuki knew that the war changed izuku. hell, the war changed everyone but it was clear to him that it changed izuku the most.
after the war, they talked more about katsuki’s apology and he apologized more.
(he’ll never fully feel that he deserves izuku’s forgiveness)
they talked and talked until katsuki finally told izuku that he loved him.
he didn’t know how he found the courage, given the circumstances. but he had. and izuku loved him back.
katsuki couldn’t believe that izuku loved him back.
-
“i know that everything i did was wrong. and there’s no reason for me to tell you this because i know that it doesn’t excuse anything i’ve done to you-”
“-i keep telling you, you’ve been forgiven.”
“i know it’s just..”
“it’s just nothing. i forgive you, you have to believe me.”
“i want to. it’s hard.”
“i understand. i’ll wait until it’s not hard for you anymore. i’ll tell you i forgive you as many times as it takes.”
(katsuki almost broke down, but if you ask him he’ll tell you that it didn’t faze him at all)
“i think i’m in love with you.” he gave izuku a very pained smile as he said this, almost as if it hurt to admit it.
“i am definitely in love with you.” izuku smiled back and it felt like for a split second the clouds in his eyes disappeared. for a split second, they were back to those overactive eyes katsuki missed so very much.
-
the full week before izuku’s birthday, katsuki was a wreck. he wanted things to be perfect, he wanted them to be how they were when they were kids. back when inko put together the parties and they made so many precious memories in the midoriya’s backyard.
katsuki wanted izuku to enjoy his birthday the way he used to. katsuki wanted izuku to enjoy his life the way he used to.
so, he made it his own personal mission to give izuku midoriya the best birthday party he could possibly have.
-
he started on sunday, writing out a detailed plan as followed:
monday: write and send out invitations. don’t forget one for eri!!! ask aizawa for permission to throw a party
tuesday: go out and buy his gifts. all might merch.. training supplies. a new notebook, his old one is getting full. something to help with the nightmares… something that’ll make him happy..
wednesday: talk to inko about coming to the party. see if she’ll make katusdon for him.
thursday: make sure everyone knows what they’re getting him. make sure everyone is still going to be able to make it. make sure that zuku is feeling okay.
friday: !!go out and buy decorations!! bake his cake. make sure it’s soft, it’s nothing like cooking katsuki. he likes strawberries, bake him a strawberry shortcake cake. talk to sato if you’re having trouble. it’s okay to ask for help if it’s for him.
saturday: get izu out of the house. have the extras decorate. give him the surprise party of a FUCKING LIFETIME.
-
“aizawa!” katsuki called out into the teacher’s room. he carried 3 envelopes in his hand. one addressed to shinsou, one for aizawa, and of course one for eri. izuku could never have a party without that little girl.
he wandered around the room, finding aizawa all the way in the back. sleeping. he didn’t want to wake him up but he really needed to get the other invitations out.
he steeled his nerves before slowly approaching aizawa’s sleeping bag, slightly jumping when his teacher’s eyes snapped open.
“what.”
“sorry for waking you, sir. i just wanted to give you these,” he held out his hand with the invites, “and i wanted to ask if it’s okay to hold a party.”
aizawa eyed katsuki carefully, “a party? for what.”
“dek- izuku’s birthday, sir. i think it’d do him a lot of good.“
“okay. you can.” aizawa grabbed the invitations out of his hand. “i’ll be sure to give these to the people they belong to.”
katsuki became so overwhelmed with such a strong sense of gratitude in that moment. it overtook his body and his mind, making him feel like he was going to break out into tears if he did anything too suddenly. he had felt like that a lot, after the war. he always felt so overwhelmed by the smallest of things. he often wondered if that’s how izuku used to feel whenever he would randomly cry.
-
katsuki absolutely hated the mall. there were always so many people. there was always so much movement. he hated it with everything he had. yet that’s where he found himself early tuesday morning.
he had to find izuku the best gift. the year prior, he got all might to write izuku a heartfelt letter and gifted it to him in a picture frame.
(izuku cried, he still has it hung up to this day. katsuki firmly believes it’s the best gift he’s ever given to him. izuku believes it’s the best gift he’s ever received.)
the issue with giving the best gift you’ve ever given, is that you never know what to give the next year. what could he possibly give izuku that would top his gift from the year before?
he had a slight clue, though he didn’t know if izuku would find it creepy.
he stopped to grab him a new notebook first. he had noticed his old one was getting full. he’d have to replace it sooner rather than later at the rate izuku wrote.
the second gift katsuki wanted to get him was all might merch. it was a classic, he got izuku new merch on any special occasion. it never got old.
his final gift was one he had been working on personally for a while.
he got the idea for the gift not too long after izuku’s last birthday. he watched izuku watch everyone else, noticing how he always looked so focused whenever he was taking notes.
katsuki thought that maybe, just maybe it’d be cute if he took notes on him.
the act of analyzing someone was something izuku loved. katsuki knew that his love for analyzing would never change no matter what happened to him. but he also knew that no one ever analyzed izuku. no one ever sat down and paid that much attention to him as he did everyone else.
so katsuki did. every day for almost a year he secretly carried the notebook around and wrote down everything worth writing. he jotted down subtle things about izuku’s quirk, he doodled whenever he added something new to his costume (even the small heart shaped keychain he recently started clipping to his belt) he took note of everything that izuku did, and filled up two whole notebooks that he titled “katsuki’s
expert analysis of the greatest hero deku.”
on the first page, he wrote a long letter. it detailed what the notebook was, and how much fun he had writing it. it also detailed his love for him. he just thought that it would be nice for izuku to read.
katsuki was beyond excited to give the notebooks to izuku. he couldn’t wait to see his face as he opened what is now katsuki’s-best-given-gift-of-all-time.
-
saturday came way too fast.
katsuki stayed up the whole night friday baking izuku’s strawberry shortcake.
on his first try, he found that he was beating the batter way too aggressively. when he had went to go see inko about her invitation and the katsudon, they ended up talking about more of the food from their childhood.
“it’s all made with love, katsuki.”
katsuki stifled a giggle at this. it was the most mom thing she could say.
“i mean it! you can taste the love. try cooking something with love and care for the person you’re cooking for. i promise you it’ll taste better.”
“i’ll try it out and let you know.” katsuki smiled a soft smile at the thought of it.
after his very embarrassing first try, he decided to take a break before attempting it again.
during his break, he thought of izuku. of his smile and his eyes. he thought of his soft skin and how sweet he always sounded when he spoke to katsuki.
he felt his heart swell with love. he really, really loved izuku. more than he would ever truly know.
he sat back down and tried the batter again. this time being as gentle as he could, folding it in on itself and making sure to get all of the flour at the bottom of the bowl.
he didn’t know if what inko said about tasting the difference was true, but it felt good to make something with such an intense amount of care.
it felt good to pour out all of the love he felt into what he was making. it felt good to love.
-
he finished with the cake and realized he was missing izuku terribly.
it was close to 2 am, and izuku normally woke up around this time and wandered into katsuki’s room.
it was their nightly routine, and katsuki loved it. his bed never felt the same without izuku in it. he loved the weight of his legs tangled with his own, and how cold his body was compared to his. he almost never slept until around this time anyway, he liked to make sure izuku was with him before he did.
he decided to save izuku the trouble and go into his dorm room that night.
he opened the door gently, as to not disturb his sleeping boyfriend. but found that he was already disturbed, the covers flinging as he was throwing his body around in the bed.
katsuki took in the scene and rushed to his side, trying to pin down his arms gently. izuku had gotten considerably stronger, making it a bit of a challenge.
he started wailing in his sleep, each cry paining katsuki’s heart more and more.
“izuku. zuku!” katsuki wanted to wake him up. he didn’t want to see him like this anymore.
izuku’s eyes snapped open and he sat up with a gasp, still crying.
“kacch..an”
“i’m here. it’s me, i’m here.” katsuki climbed into izuku’s bed gingerly, holding him in his arms.
he smoothed down his curls with one hand and rubbed his arm with the other, whispering how he was there.
“it’s okay baby, you can cry. it’s me. i’m here. it’s me.”
izuku had nightmares almost every night. sometimes they weren’t terrible, other times they were. after all of them, he went and laid in katsuki’s bed, relishing in the other’s heat and weight. he felt like he slept better whenever katsuki was sleeping next to him.
that night, he hadn’t expected katsuki to come to his room. to see him like this.
“i’m so.. sorry,” he choked on his sobs, trying his best to apologize. katsuki shouldn’t have had to see that.
“don’t apologize,” katsuki kissed the top of his head, “this is nothing to be sorry about.”
izuku stayed silent, as he turned to give katsuki a hug. his heart burst as katsuki hugged him back so tenderly, so softly, in a way no one would ever guess katsuki could.
“i love you, kacchan.”
“i love you too.”
he waited til izuku calmed down to say, “happy birthday.”
“kacchan! oh my gosh! you were the first person to say it to me today!”
“course i was. you’re dating the best after all.”
they both giggled before going back to sleep.
-
there’s a certain, special kind of feeling that comes with being lonely. a feeling that izuku knew all too well. a feeling that settled deep in his chest, one that traveled behind his ears and into his eyes. it expanded inside of his throat and made its way to his stomach. it grew in his knees and down his legs. all the way until it consumed him.
it was a feeling that he almost found comfort in. one that he could find support in as it coursed throughout his body.
on his birthday that year, it was the same.
he went to sleep the night before praying for the feeling to go away for at least one day. he wanted to be happy, genuinely happy and not alone for at least one day. but when he woke up the next morning, he knew that he would feel the same as he felt all the days before.
he woke up without katsuki in his bed, which was weird since he never got out of bed before izuku.
he rubbed his eyes sleepily before sitting up, taking in the sight of his empty room.
the door bust open before he could move to get out of bed and katsuki came rushing in with three plates in one hand, and two plates in the other.
“goodmorning baby,” katsuki smiled an incredibly soft smile, “i made you breakfast.”
izuku knew that cooking was katsuki’s love language. he knew that this breakfast was katsuki’s way of telling him just how much he loved him. he could tell that it was very, very much.
-
katsuki wanted to get izuku out of the dorms so everyone could decorate. he made sure to message ochako the plans, trusting that she would get everything done in time.
k: floaty, i’m gonna take izu to the movies and to lunch today. i need you to round up all the extras and decorate. inko is supposed to be coming at noon to start on the food, make sure everyone’s helping out.
o: you got it! i hope he loves his party!!
k: i planned it, of course he will.
o: [laughing emoji]
read
-
the pair started the day relatively early, after breakfast katsuki insisted izuku showered and got dressed. they brushed their teeth together and set out, everyone gushing over how katsuki got to take izuku out on a date and how he looked so good.
izuku hadn’t felt so loved in a long time. i mean, he felt loved everyday, but not so much at once. there was only so much katsuki could do, and izuku always recognized that katsuki was doing everything he could. it felt good to have people other than katsuki showing him such sweet attention.
“izu!”
he got so lost in his own mind, he didn’t realize katsuki was talking to him, “oh, yes kacchan?”
“i was asking what’s on your mind?”
katsuki grabbed izuku’s hand, intertwining their fingers as they walked together.
“oh, nothing. i was thinking about you actually.”
“what about me?”
“how you’re always doing everything you can to help me. it makes me happy.”
“i’d do anything for you.”
izuku knew katsuki really meant to say that he loved him. he knew that katsuki did all of this because he loved him.
“i’d do anything for you, too.” i love you too
-
they walked back to the dorms after their long day out. katsuki made sure that everything was done before they set back.
izuku laughed at something katsuki said, not realizing they were already back. the sinking feeling start to set in again. things were never the same whenever he came back and had to look everyone in the face again.
the guilt and loneliness started festering in his heart. he pleaded with himself to chill out.
“open the door baby.” katsuki brought him back to the present moment once again.
“oh- okay!” he smiled up at katsuki as he grabbed the front door handle.
“SURPRISE!!!” all of class A and a few others shouted as izuku yanked the door open. he was taken aback by all the faces he saw smiling at him.
he looked back at katsuki, who was smiling at him, “what?”
“surprise,” katsuki grabbed izuku’s hand and led him inside.
inko rushed up to him, giving him a hug and a kiss on his forehead. he could cry! they did all of this, for him?
“damn right we did.” katsuki whispered in his ear, he must’ve been mumbling.
everyone else came and smothered izuku in a group hug, mina crying about how old he was getting, kirishima telling her to chill out.
it was all izuku could’ve asked for and more. he felt so seen, so loved.
-
the party went off without a hitch! there was dancing, and karaoke, pin the ears on the all might, and many more activities katsuki had planned out.
they all gathered in the kitchen as they sung izuku happy birthday. he blew out his candles with a smile, grabbing katsuki’s hand while he did.
izuku cut the cake while katsuki passed out all the slices, the two of them sneaking away from the party to eat theirs.
-
katsuki stared at izuku while he ate, admiring every little thing about him.
“the cake is so good kacchan! honestly i think it’s better than anything you’ve baked before.”
katsuki’s eyes lit up, remembering what inko told him, “well, i made it with love.”
izuku giggled, bringing another piece of cake up to his mouth.
“i have a gift for you. well, it’s a couple gifts for you. i hope you like them.”
izuku set his cake down, his eyes shining with anticipation. “what is it!!”
katsuki laughed, “well i can’t tell you that, but here.” he handed him his new notebook first, “i noticed the one you’re writing in right now is getting full so..”
“thank you! i was just about to go buy one but now i don’t have to! thank you!”
he handed him the all might merch next. izuku went crazy over it, like he did every time he received something all might related.
finally, katsuki handed him the notebooks he wrote. they were wrapped carefully with a cute bow on the top.
he watched as izuku unwrapped them, worried that he wasn’t going to like it.
he was proven very wrong when he noticed izuku’s eyes welling with tears. “is this?”
“yeah,” katsuki spoke softly, he cleared his throat, hoping that would make his voice come back. “yeah it’s um, hero analysis on you.” he felt a slight blush creeping up his neck.
“you did this for me?”
“i di- yeah. i love you izuku. i wanted you to see how much i love you and i thought that this was a good way to do tha-“
izuku cut him off with a hug. tender as always, something that would never get old. “thank you kacchan. i love you too.”
-
“so,” katsuki started, “is it better than last years gift?”
“yeah, i’d say it was!” izuku laughed, he felt all of the loneliness leave his body as he did.
“what’d you wish for? when you blew out the candles.”
“i’m not sure i can tell you kacchan, it won’t come true otherwise.”
“it’ll come true, i’ll make sure it does.”
izuku giggled, “okay, i’ll tell you.”
he leaned up against katsuki and whispered in his ear, the stuff he was saying making katsuki’s eyes widen.
“that’s it?”
“pretty much,” izuku smiled.
“okay.”
katsuki grabbed izuku by the waist, pulling him in slowly. he cupped the side of his face with one hand, the other staying put on his waist.
“happy birthday baby,” he whispered as he pulled izuku up, kissing his lips gently.
he pulled back and studied izuku’s smiling face before kissing him again. this time deepening the kiss with his tongue. it wasn’t rough, though. it was soft and tender, much like their love.
izuku pushed katsuki back until he had no choice but to sit on his bed. he climbed on top of him, not breaking the kiss once.
katsuki’s hands were everywhere, in his hair, cupping his face, rubbing up and down his back. he needed the kiss to convey what he couldn’t. he needed izuku to feel how he felt.
he needed izuku to feel all the love he had to offer. he needed izuku to take a piece of himself, he wanted to offer izuku a piece of himself.
katsuki broke the kiss, gasping. he was feeling his heart get overwhelmed again. he loved izuku so much he wanted to cry. how could you love someone so much that it didn’t fit in your heart? how could he feel something so intense?
“i love you so much.”
“i love you much more. thank you for today.”
“i would give you a million todays if i could.”
the statement was a love letter in itself, katsuki would always give his all with anything izuku wanted. just like he had today. he would do it a million times over if he could. he would give izuku the world if he could.
“i know you would kacchan. i would do the same for you.”
he smiled, knowing izuku meant the same as he did.
he knew that izuku would take the piece of himself he offered, and that he would offer himself in return.
:))