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PurPuppy is in love with Foxxie - this is news to no one. From the very first time they met, PurPuppy has made it very clear that he was interested in his partner, flirting with him at any given chance and praising him pretty much every time he opened his mouth. This has been one of the things that’s always made them, them, Tighnari thinks. Since the beginning it’s been this : PurPuppy flirts and Foxxie pushes him away. It’s part of their dynamic and he has found it to be something he even looks forward to. PurPuppy has always been respectful of the boundaries Foxxie sets, always stepping back when he was told to and never trying to negotiate. So this fact perpetuated, no matter what akuma Monarch sent their way, no matter how tired and defeated they were, PurPuppy was always there with his insufferable jokes and his flirtatious smiles.
However, something seems to have changed in the past few weeks. At first, Tighnari blamed it on personal problems he was sure PurPuppy was having - after all, they knew virtually nothing about each other’s real lives. It was also around the time that Cyno and him finally made their relationship official, so Tighnari was too absorbed in his feelings to notice. But then, the missions accumulated and it felt like PurPuppy was slowly drifting away, not making moves anymore, barely looking at him, always fist bumping him, never trying to kiss him. They felt like stupid changes for Tighnari to bring up so he didn’t, he refused to. If PurPuppy was trying to move on and let go of his romantic feelings for Foxxie, that was well within his rights. Good for him, or whatever.
“It’s stupid, Trixx, let it go”, he says, sitting on the rooftop of the Bibliothèque Nationale de France. He likes coming here to think - it’s also where he usually meets PurPuppy before missions.
“If it bothers you this much, it can’t be that stupid”, his kwami replies, wise as ever, flying close to his head.
“It’s exactly because it bothers me this much that it’s so stupid”, Tighnari replies. He waves a hand towards Trixx in dismissal. “It’s fine really. I’ve already come up with the perfect plan anyways”, he continues, getting up. “The one thing he would never refuse is my tail. So, next time I notice that he’s upset I’ll offer it as comfort, he will accept and I’ll feel better knowing that he at least still sees me as his friend”.
“That does sound like a good plan”, Trixx agrees, flying up to look Tighnari in the eyes. He smiles down at his kwami, scratches him behind the ear and opens up his little pouch for Trixx to fly back into.
–
It doesn’t take long for the next mission to come up. It’s Collei this time - Tighnari isn’t sure how, when or why Monarch got her but fighting people he would kill for doesn’t get easy with time, he has found. He’s had to fight and neutralise Kaveh multiple times, despite the amount of amulets he’s given him, and Alhaitam was a particular struggle, his fighting skills well above average. Everyday, Tighnari worries about Cyno getting akumatized one day.
Collei is trying to fight them with a bow that shoots paralysing arrows. After getting shot, plants grow from the ground, wrapping around the person’s legs, stopping them in their tracks. PurPuppy is perched on the top of a building, watching her, hiding behind one of Foxxie’s illusions. He’s waiting for the right moment to come out and throw his ball at Collei’s bow to steal it from her. Foxxie is trying to fight back without actually fighting her. He’s more abile than Foxxie, faster and wiser as well.
“I’m not trying to hurt you Sprout Bow,” he screams from behind a car.
“I am! I’m sick of being the only person hurting! I’m sick of always being in pain! I’m sick of being sick,” she finishes off sadly, which breaks Foxxie’s heart.
He comes out from his hiding spot, facing Collei as his real self, only two of his illusions still standing. She immediately aims her bow at him, but he quickly raises his hand to stop her.
“I have no idea what it’s like to always be in pain. But I know that hurting other people won’t make your pain go away,” Collei wavers and almost lowers her bow, which encourages Foxxie to continue. “Maybe, instead of using the Akuma’s power, we could try to use our Miraculous to try and find a solution for you. We’ve never done it, but I’m sure we can find something,” he finishes with a smile.
Except, it seems to be the wrong thing to do because she immediately raises her bow back at him and his face falls.
“I’m not an experiment, I’m done trying solutions that only make the pain worse.”
She pulls the bow’s string, ready to release her arrow but is suddently interrupted by a ball hitting it first. The ball flies back to where it came from and a second later, it’s the bow that disappears. Collei looks angrier about this than about what Foxxie said so he uses the momentum to run back to PurPuppy.
It takes less than ten seconds for them to break the bow and capture the Akuma. Foxxie keeps it in his pouch - he’ll have to give it to Tikki to cleanse before releasing it. When he looks up from his bag, he finds that PurPuppy has already jumped back to the street, to where Collei is still standing, coming back from her senses after having been released from the Akuma. Foxxie tries to ignore the ball forming in his stomach and throat and meets them.
“Are you alright ?” PurPuppy asks her.
“Um, yes, I think,” she replies. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. Sometimes I get so angry about the pain I’m in,” she explains. “Did you really mean what you said ?” she asks Foxxie.
“Yes,” PurPuppy replies before Foxxie even has the time to open his mouth. “We’ll figure something out, won’t we, Foxxie ?” he asks, looking at him. Foxxie blinks.
“Yes, I’m sure we will,” he replies, because of course they will. He smiles at Collei. “Do you want me to drop you off somewhere ?”
“No, it’s okay, I’ll call one of my friends, thank you.”
PurPuppy nods and turns away, leaving Foxxie to say goodbye on his own.
“Um, we’ll get back to you as soon as we have a lead, okay ? Get home safe, Collei,” he finishes and waves her off.
He hurries back to his and PurPuppy’s usual rooftop, worried that Collei will call him. He also thinks this will be the perfect moment to try and act out his plan. PurPuppy is already there when he arrives so he simply sits next to him, giving him a little smile.
“We did well today,” he says.
“We have to do better, we have to help her,” PurPuppy answers, sounding grave.
“We will, I’ll ask the kwamis and we’ll find a way,” he replies reassuringly.
PurPuppy is quiet for a moment so Foxxie takes his chance.
“I have just the thing that might cheer you up,” he starts. PurPuppy turns his head to face him, unimpressed. It’s a look Foxxie isn’t familiar with but he tries to ignore how his heart drops, hoping his plan will work out.
He moves his tail so it lands on PurPuppy’s lap and gives him a friendly smile.
“Ta-daaa!” he tries but PurPuppy simply stares at his tail, not making any move to grab or pet it. “It’s your favourite plushie,” he continues with a nervous laugh.
They’re both quiet for a moment, Foxxie too scared to even move. He messed up. Again.
“Thanks, but I’ll pass. I have to go, actually, so I’ll see you later,” PurPuppy replies, getting up without even moving his tail.
It’s all too much for him, Foxxie thinks. This is too humiliating and weird not to say anything. He gets up to follow him, feeling his cheeks redden with shame and anger, his fox ears flattening against his head.
“What’s your problem, exactly ?” Foxxie asks.
PurPuppy turns around slowly, looking caught.
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit,” he replies, already feeling hot tears gathering in his eyes. “You’ve been acting weird for weeks, you barely look at me, you only talk to me if you have to and now you don’t even want my tail ? You love my tail! If you want to pretend nothing’s wrong, then act like it”.
He waits for PurPuppy to reply, one beat, two beats and doesn’t wait for the third to turn around and leave. It’s all too much, this rejection, this confusion, these mixed signals. Is he angry because Foxxie doesn’t want him as more than his friend ? That’s really fucked up.
He barely steps a foot into his room before transforming back into Tighnari. Then, he takes two steps in the direction of his bed and crumbles onto it, face first. He feels the angry tears of shame forming in his eyes, and he refuses to let them out. He pushes his face into a pillow, refusing to acknowledge how wet it feels.
“Nari…,” he hears Trixx whisper from above his head.
His kwami’s voice soothes him almost immediately. This is something no one warned him about, his bond with Trixx. He thought they’d be partners, allies, maybe friends, but what they have is more than that. They have a deeper connection, they’re part of each other.
“It’s stupid, I’m stupid, I don’t know why I’m crying over this dumb… boy that I actually don’t even know,” he manages. “It’s just that…,” he starts but stops. There’s no way he can speak this up without letting out a sob and that is where he draws the line.
It’s just that : PurPuppy is the first person who’s known Tighnari and immediately liked him. Cyno doesn’t count because they’ve known each other their whole lives but people’s instinctive reaction to Tighnari seems to almost always be dislike, if not worse. It’s just that : PurPuppy is the only person who knows what it’s like to have a Miraculous. He knows what it’s like to be scared of heights and still have to fight villains. He knows what it’s like to wake up everyday, worried that someone you love will be akumatised. He knows what it’s like to have nightmares about fights. It’s just that : PurPuppy is his friend. At least he thought he was.
Now, just like every time Tighnari makes a friend, PurPuppy has seen something he didn’t like in him, something so dark and twisted that he had to run away and leave him behind. And just like every time, Tighnari will deal : he will break and fall apart and then he’ll pick the pieces up and try to go on.
His first reaction is to call Cyno. He almost reaches out to his phone, desperate to hear his voice and talk to him. But this isn’t something he can talk to him about, which upsets him even more. Cyno is his boyfriend but he’s also his best friend. They grew up on the same street, they played in the same playgrounds and had the same afternoon snacks. They know each other better than anyone and yet, Tighnari can’t talk to him about the most important thing in his life besides Cyno.
No. He refuses. No more lies.
It’s impulsive and it’s stupid, it’s reckless and it’s inevitable. He always knew he was going to tell him. He just didn’t know it would happen so suddenly.
“Trixx, we’re going to see Cyno,” he says decisively, getting up and grabbing a jacket. The night is starting to fall and the Parisian evening won’t spare him.
Trixx gives him a look, worried and knowing, but obliges, jumping into his tote bag.
His feet know the way by heart - Paris isn’t where they grew up, but it’s where they’ve been living for about four years now, since they started college. Two streets down the right, one metro station, up the street for three minutes and he’ll be there. He’ll stand in front of him, and he’ll tell him. And it will all be fine because he’s Cyno and he loves Tighnari. He will understand this, and he will love him even more for it.
He feels slightly less confident once he’s actually standing in front of his door. His hands are shaking when he knocks on it, and he feels his heartbeat pick up when Cyno opens the door - not in the way it usually does.
“Nari ?” he asks, a bit confused.
He’s wearing his pajamas, which consist of an “I ❤️ my BF” t-shirt (courtesy of Kaveh), spider-man pants (courtesy of Tighnari) and dog-paw slippers (courtesy of Alhaitam). Despite it all, Tighnari takes a moment to take in how absolutely adorable he is.
“Hi. I hope I’m not bothering you,” he starts, his voice shaky. Cyno blinks in the way Tighnari knows means he’s studying the situation, trying to decipher him and understand what’s going on.
“You know you couldn’t,” he says after a moment, stepping aside to let Tighnari in.
He walks into the apartment and, as soon as the door is closed behind them, he falls into Cyno’s arms. It’s always like this : he tries to push it away, and stand on his own, but he always ends up here.
“What’s up, baby ?” he asks, voice soft, holding Tighnari’s head.
“Nothing,” slips out before he can think better of it. It’s stupid, because showing up unannounced at Cyno’s door, crying, clearly shows that something is wrong. “I mean, it’s complicated,” he continues, pulling away from Cyno’s hold. He grabs his hand instead, desperate for some kind of physical contact with his boyfriend, as he always is.
Cyno nods, giving Tighnari space and time to explain himself, and they move to the bed in the middle of the room. It’s a small apartment, one that Tighnari has always loved more than his. Maybe it’s because of the person inhabiting it, maybe it’s because it’s slightly bigger and has more light, he can’t say.
“I don’t know how to tell you this,” he starts, sitting cross-legged on the sofa.
“Take you time,” Cyno replies, softly caressing his head.
So Tighnari does, He takes the time to make sure he’s not crying anymore, he takes the time to take a deep breath, he takes the time to look at Cyno one last time before he says it.
“I’m Foxxie.” It sounds stupid said out loud, like a lie, he realises belatedly. This is confirmed by Cyno’s disbelieving head tilt.
“I’m not sure I follow,” he replies.
“I’m Foxxie, the super-hero, you know. The one on the news,” he tries. It still sounds made up but it’ll have to do. There are only so many ways to come out as a superhero to your boyfriend.
Cyno seems to consider this for a few agonising moments, during which Tighnari thinks his heart might explode. And then the verdict falls : Cyno pulls away from him.
Saying that it’s the hardest thing in the world would be an understatement. Tighnari’s hands don’t even try to hold him back because he’s never had to with Cyno. He’s never rejected him or pushed him away - ever, in their entire lives. This is the first time that Cyno pulls back. It feels like a punch to the gut and face at the same time, it’s so violent that he’s numbed by it.
“You shouldn’t have told me,” comes his response, but it feels so distant that Tighnari has a hard time really hearing and processing it. It doesn’t feel real. It shouldn’t be.
He nods, dumbly, because he doesn’t even know what to say or do. Everything feels far away, even his own body as he gets up from the couch, puts back his shoes and leaves the apartment. He thinks he hears Cyno call after him but he’s not sure if it’s real or if it’s just the voice in his head. So he leaves. He walks. He walks. He runs. He cries. He walks. At one point, he turns into Foxxie. So then he jumps, he jumps as high as he can. He runs and when he finally takes a break, it’s completely dark outside and he’s standing in the same spot he always goes to for comfort : the Bibliothèque Nationale de France.
He detransforms, needing Trixx’s company and comfort. The kwami stands in front of his face first, not moving, just staring in shock. Tighanri knows revealing his identity is forbidden, he knows that everything about this was a bad idea. He just hopes he doesn’t lose Trixx, too.
“Nari, you should’ve told me you were about to do that, it could have been very dangerous,” he starts, moving closer to him until eventually holding Tighnari’s face between his little paws. “But I’m sorry Cyno reacted like that,” he continues. Tighnari looks down, too embarrassed and sad to face him. “Although that was vague, maybe it wasn’t meant as rejection, you know.”
Tighnari scoffs. “It was, I know him. I don’t know why being Foxxie put him off so much, but it did, so…”
Trixx stays quiet, simply flies down so he’s sitting on Tighnari’s shoulder. Tighnari tilts his head so he can rest his on Trixx’s. They stay for a few moments, staring at the slowing traffic of the street. Tighnari feels like he’s sobering up, realising little by little everything that happened today. He feels stupid for having let his fears rule his actions and for having made it worse - he’ll have to find a way to fix everything.
He’s so caught up in his thoughts that it’s Trixx tensing up on his shoulders that alerts him that they’re not alone on the roof. He transforms immediately, making the most of the little time he has before not being hidden away from the other person anymore. Once he’s Foxxie again, he gets up and moves slowly, trying to find the stranger. He looks around but there are vents everywhere so he doesn’t have complete visibility on the entire roof.
“Foxxie ?” he hears from somewhere behind him, and after some commotion, he sees PurPuppy, looking around for him, his tail tense behind him, his ears flat on his head.
He hesitates for a second but, after a sigh, decides to respond.
“Here,” he says, all but enthusiastic.
PurPuppy turns around, his head standing back and his tail wagging slowly. Foxxie is too tired to let any of it affect him. PurPuppy jogs lightly to meet him, which Foxxie is grateful for, and then they just look at each other.
“How did you know I’d be here ?” he asks
“Honestly ? I tried like five different places before I came here,” he says.
It’s a fleeting thought, but Foxxie notices that PurPuppy is looking at him differently than usual. Differently than today that’s for sure, but also differently than when he was flirting with Foxxie during missions and asking him on dates. He seems almost starstruck.
“What do you want, PurPuppy ?” he asks, too tired to beat around the bush.
“I apologise for how I behaved today. Really, for how I’ve been behaving for the past few weeks. I shouldn’t have pushed you away without explanation. So, I’m here tonight with an explanation,” he says. Foxxie tilts his head, confused, and PurPuppy takes a deep breath, nervous.
“Barrk, lay down,” he says, which Foxxie belatedly realises is his detransformation phrase. Before he has the time to look away, to protect his identity, he sees white hair and orange eyes that he knows better than his own.
It’s PurPuppy and then it’s no longer PurPuppy : it’s Cyno. In front of him Barkk, flying next to him, looking nervous and desperate.
“Trixx, let’s rest,” says Tighnari.
And then it’s just them. And their kwamis. They stare at each other for a few seconds before Tighnari frowns and starts hitting Cyno.
“Why did you react like that, you asshole ?” he says, landing a slap on Cyno’s arms. “Fuck you, I was so scared you hated me,” he continues.
“Aouch !”
“Yeah, that’s what you did to my heart, you idiot”, he continues, going for Cyno’s other arm now.
“Okay, okay Foxxie, calm down,” Cyno says, trying to catch Tighnari’s hands and he does, but just because Tighnari lets him. He still gives him a dark look, refusing to smile at his boyfriend. “Nari, baby, I’m sorry, okay ? I just didn’t know what to say. I freaked out, I knew I wasn’t allowed to tell you who I was, that it was putting us both in danger but I also couldn’t lie to you,” he continues.
Tighnari considers this. “What made you change your mind ?”
“You, obviously,” he says with a smile. “I love you. You broke the rule for me, so I’ll do it for you. That’s what we always do for each other”.
Tighnari tries very hard not to melt right there and then, but when he feels the blush on his cheeks he leans forward and lets his head rest on Cyno’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Nari. You were braver than me as always. I hope this is enough,” he says.
Which is stupid. So Tighnari kisses him. He lets his arms rest on his shoulders, his hands softly playing with his hair, the way he knows Cyno likes it. Cyno’s hands are on his hips, slowly moving up and down, the way he knows Tighnari likes.
“You’re an idiot,” Tighnari says.
“Your idiot,” Cyno says around a smile.
Tighnari shakes his head. “Why were you acting weird with me ? I mean, why was PurPuppy acting weird with Foxxie ?” he asks, needing to understand what he did wrong.
“Because we had started dating. You, Tighnari, and I, Cyno. I wasn’t going to go around flirting with anyone who wasn’t my boyfriend. Although technically you were but, obviously, I didn’t know,” he finishes.
Tighnari, again, feels stupid and warm in the face.
“You’re so stupid,” he says instead of actually expressing how considerate and touching that actually is.
“For you,” Cyno replies, because he doesn’t know how to act like a normal person around Tighnari.
“Shut up”
“Gladly,” he replies and kisses Tighnari deep enough to make him swoon.