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Chapter 1
“Rhaenys…” Corlys’ voice is stern as it cuts through her, her attention on the man in front of her drops. Her hand follows. He walks towards the two of them. “Is your work finished?” Corlys asks Alyn but his attention is on Rhaenys.
“No, milord.” Alyn responds and then leaves the two of them. Rhaenys watches as he goes, her eyes narrowed as she realises there can be no disputing who he is. She can finally put a force to the rumour.
“I just had a word with your captains. He was the sailor who plucked you from your watery grave.” It’s almost an accusation.
“Yes.” He sounds tired as he takes hold of her waist and moves her over to the railing, away from prying ears.
“You did not think to mention it?” Corlys narrows his eyes, where is she going with this?
“I did not think it relevant.” Rhaenys purses her lips. Is he going to try and deny it? Tension lies heavy between them and she realises that she’s going to have to be direct about it. She sighs.
“I know who he is, Corlys.” There’s an edge to her tone, only just masked by fatigue, fatigue at how long this has been a secret between the two of them. Perhaps she should have brought it up when she first found out. “Alyn’s past is no fault of his. He saved his lord’s life. He should be raised up and honoured not hidden beneath the tides.”
“Is this why you came?” There’s anger in his words. Her own simmers beneath the surface. “To subject me to an inquisition?” Is he being serious? He’s the one who was unfaithful, he’s the one who had an affair, has two illegitimate children and he’s the one who’s angry? Rhaenys takes a deep breath. She refuses to start an argument about this. The purpose of the conversation was not supposed to be to litigate the details of his affair.
“I came to tell you that Baela has called me to Dragonstone.” Her tone is matter of fact.
“Baela?” The tone of the conversation shifts and they both sigh in relief but the tension is still there, heavy between them.
“That Council is going to dine on her and Jace for supper. They grow restless in Rhaenyra’s absence.”
“Still… where has that woman gone?” Not for the first time, he finds himself frustrated with their alliance with Rhaenyra.
“I suspect to try and draw us all back from the abyss.” Her tone is clipped and she gives him a knowing look before walking away from him.
The tension seems to linger as she goes. There’s no goodbye, no telling her to stay safe or return to him soon. Before he can say anything to her, Rhaenys is gone, walking away from him, the chasm between them growing and he wonders how long she’s known of his betrayal. Corlys watches her go. Should he call her back? He’s not sure, calling her back will result in them having that conversation and he doesn’t particularly want to but nor does he want her leaving on an argument. Baela’s request for help with the Council suggests that she could be at Dragonstone for a while. The last time they parted on a quarrel, he’d been gravely injured in the Stepstones, he nearly died and as he was lying in the sea, barely holding onto life, all he could think of was Rhaenys and how he could die without making it right with her. He cannot risk the same thing happening now. Granted, she’s only going to Dragonstone but they’re at war, anything could happen. Corlys takes a glance at the SeaSnake, his crew are working away, getting her ready to sail again, the heavy damage she sustained in the Stepstones no longer evident. The crew seem to be managing fine, he can escape for a while.
Rhaenys is in the dragon pit when he finally catches up with her. Meleys is saddled and Rhaenys is dressed in her flying gear, pulling her gloves on and talking to the dragon. Corlys takes a moment to admire her. Gods he loves her like that, almost as much as he loves her when she’s just come back from a flight, her hair windswept, her cheeks flushed. So fuckable. But he looks at her now and she looks drained, her eyes are tired, her face drawn and he wonders when she last slept properly. Has he really been that remiss as a husband that he hasn’t noticed? Her gaze lands on him for a moment and then passes over him. Perhaps he’s missed the moment. Corlys considers simply wishing her well but then remembers what brought him to her and he knows that’s not an option.
“Rhaenys…” He calls over to him, deliberately remaining out of earshot of the dragon keepers, if he can, he’ll lead her out of the dragon pit altogether for the conversation. Rhaenys doesn’t move towards him. She waits for him to speak but when she realises he’s waiting for her, Rhaenys walks towards him. Corlys studies her, annoyance is etched into her features. He frowns. This is a Rhaenys he doesn’t quite recognise. He’s seen that expression directed at other people, usually men who underestimate her, but never directed at him. It’s weird and leaves him feeling deeply uncomfortable. He doesn’t know how to approach it now.
“What?” Her voice is tense as she stops in front of him. “Corlys, I don’t have time. Baela is waiting on me.” Corlys reaches for her waist and she flinches.
“You’re not leaving during an argument.” He tells her. Anger flashes across her features and he knows it’s him telling her what to do that’s the issue.
“I didn’t realise we were arguing.” Her tone is flat. Corlys moves his hand up to her cheek and gently strokes it with the pad of his thumb.
“You started a conversation that I think we need to finish.”
Rhaenys sighs. “You want to do this now?”
“Not particularly but I think we must.” Rhaenys looks away from him for a moment as though preparing herself to confront his infidelity. Then she looks back at him with glassy eyes and nods. Silence passes between them as Corlys realises he doesn’t know what to say.
“Usually if you want to have a conversation you need to speak.” Rhaenys says, a slight hitch in her voice. Gods he loves her sharp wit, even if it is directed at him.
“You know?” It’s more of a statement than a question.
“That you fathered two children with another woman?” Her tone is accusatory anger lacing her words. Corlys reaches for her but she steps away from him and out of his reach. Corlys drops his hand, trying to ignore the hurt. He looks to the ground, awkwardly. He knew it would be difficult but he hadn't expected it to be this hard.
“How long have you known?”
“Does it matter?” Corlys can hear the anguish in her voice. Perhaps it doesn't matter. Perhaps what matters is that she knows or perhaps what matters is that she's known and never said anything about it. He thinks back to the Driftmark succession crisis after Laenor’s death, had she known then? Is that why she wanted Baela to inherit the title. Was her own pain to blame for her reaction to Luke being his heir? Corlys stills for a moment, she'd supported his wishes before the King, defended the decision to his brother and all that time, she could’ve been nursing her own pain. Guilt slices through him.
“Maybe not.” He tells her, he studied her face intently. He wants to reach for her, gather her in his arms and take away her pain but he knows that she won't let him. Rhaenys his beautiful strong Rhaenys looks broken and he wonders how long she's carried the secret.
The air is heavy between them, suffocating almost. “Would you believe me if I told you I was sorry?” Rhaenys lets out a shaky breath.
“Would you mean it?” Corlys doesn't know which is worse: what she says or how she says it. Her voice is so small, so unlike Rhaenys.
“Oh, my darling.” He steps towards her. This time, she doesn't move. Corlys gently places his hand at her jaw line and tilts her face so that their eyes meet. “Of course I mean it.” Her eyes narrow as if she doesn't quite believe him. His heart aches that he's done this to them, that he's destroyed the trust between them.
“Rhaenys…” His voice is gentle, coaxing almost. She turns her gaze from him and as she does, he sees the tears in her eyes, tears she's just managing to keep at bay. Corlys gently turns her face back. There's a moment of heavy silence between them. He kisses her forehead gently. Rhaenys sucks in a breath. She's only just controlling her emotions. It's been so long since she allowed herself to feel these emotions and now they are so close to tumbling out of her in a free fall. As Corlys pulls away, she sighs and she realises how exhausted she is with the whole thing. Her tense body relaxes and Corlys thinks they're making progress. And then she says something that takes the ground from beneath him.
“Do you love her?” It's quiet, barely there. He's done far more damage to her than he realised. How long has she questioned whether he loved another woman? How could he do that to her? How could she ever doubt his feelings for her?
“No.” He says. Rhaenys doesn’t reply and he questions whether she believes him. He thinks not. He moves his hand from her face to her shoulder. “Rhaenys… I have never loved anyone but you. I will never love anyone but you.” Corlys says the words with absolute conviction; he has to. He needs her to believe him. The conversation and the idea that she could even doubt his love for her is breaking his own heart.
“Then why?” Her voice has regained its strength and he thinks she’s moved back to anger.
“I don’t know…” At that, Rhaenys steps away from him.
“Perhaps it would be better if you did love her.” She says and that breaks him.
“Rhaenys… it was just sex…” It’s the wrong thing to say. Anger flashes across her face. Dread pools in his stomach. She turns away from her done with the conversation. Corlys frantically reaches for her and catches her wrist. She stops.
“Rhaenys…” This time, it’s his voice that breaks. “It was just sex. I love you, I have always loved you and I will always love you. I was at sea, you were in Driftmark. I was missing you and she was just there.”
“Twice?” She snaps, trying to pull her wrist from his grip. He holds her tight.
“Yes.”
“You chose to go to sea. You weren’t sent there by the King. It was your decision.” Venom drips from her words as she turns back to face him.
“Yes.”
“And what of Alyn?” Corlys frowns at her question. “If another had saved your life the way he did, you would’ve promoted him for doing so.”
“Perhaps.” Corlys admits. “But it matters not, he pulled me out of the water and this is not a conversation about the rank of my illegitimate son in my navy.”
“No…”
“How do we get past this? What will it take for you to forgive me?” Corlys asks her hesitantly.
“Oh Corlys, haven’t you realised… you don’t need my forgiveness.”
His frown deepens. “I don’t understand.”
“Do you really think I would have carried this around for so long, not saying anything if I hadn’t already forgiven you?”
“Then why?”
“Why am I angry?” She finished for him. “Because you fathered two children with another woman, you betrayed our vows and then you kept it from me for so long . I have forgiven you but that does not mean I am done being angry about it nor does it mean that it doesn’t still hurt.” She tells him, her eyes watering.
“Then…”
“It means I’m not going to hold it against you. We’re not going to fight about it, it won’t rear its head whenever we argue and someday, the hurt will ease and the anger will fade.” With her words, his heart slowly knits back together, the dread in his stomach disappears and the tension between them lifts.
“When?” Corlys asks.
“Does it matter?” Rhaenys repeats her earlier question, a smirk pulling at her lips.
“Yes.”
“A long time ago.” Disbelief washes over him.
“Then why?”
“Because this is a conversation we should have had a long time ago and you wouldn’t. In truth, I didn’t even think you’d be able to have it today let alone, force me into having it.” Corlys frowns. “Sometimes, you need to talk about things to clear the air.” She explains. “And Corlys… you need to think about the succession, which you couldn’t do without this conversation.” His frown fades into a smile as he realises she’s right. He lets go of her wrist and places his hands on her waist. Rhaenys leans into the touch.
“All is forgiven?”
“I don’t know that all is forgiven, but your affair is.” She teases and Corlys chuckles, pulling her closer to him. Rhaenys tilts her face, it’s inches from his. He tentatively leans down and brushes his lips against hers. Rhaenys returns the kiss, deepening it quickly. It’s gentle, missing most of the usual ferocity of their kisses but love pours out of it and Corlys basks in it, being loved by her is the greatest of his treasures and her forgiveness is second to it.
Rhaenys pulls away from the kiss, casting a glance at an increasingly impatient Meleys. The dragon is growling quietly. She laughs.
“I’d better go. Baela is expecting me and if I delay any longer, you may find yourself fighting an angry dragon.” Corlys laughs, pulls her in for one more kiss and then lets her go. She smiles at him and she walks backwards towards Meleys. There is unequivocal love in her gaze and it warms him. But it makes him think of the brokenness that had been there earlier. She may have forgiven him but that hadn’t healed the pain he’d caused or diffused her anger. He finds himself wondering how many times over the years she’d hidden that pain from him, such fierce pain that it had left her broken before him. And all she’d needed to heal was the conversation they’ve just had. How many times over the years could they have had that conversation? Guilt crashes over him as she realises that he could’ve taken her pain away long before now, if only he’d been prepared to have the conversation; instead he tried to conceal the truth from her and caused her so much more unnecessary pain. Gods, he doesn’t deserve her forgiveness and yet she’s given it without him asking for it. What a woman… what a wife.. his queen. Always his queen. She offers him one final smile before mounting the dragon. Corlys takes the gift of her forgiveness and holds it tightly in his heart, alongside her love.