Work Text:
I watch Edwin walk closer to the room, turning in for the night. Ghosts don’t sleep but after everything happening recently, we could both use some rest. something in me makes me follow Edwin. We’re face to face now. “Now or never” a tiny voice tells me. “Edwin?” I call “Yes?” There’s a new sparkle in Edwin’s eyes. He’s really been more comfortable with himself recently. “I… uh.. have something to tell you.” I’m never this nervous. But recently seeing Edwin makes my brain turn into mush. Especially in this context.
“It’s been weighing on me for a while and I just can’t keep quiet about it anymore. I’m not sure how to-“ “Out with it, then.” I breathe deep. “I love you.” “No.” Edwin protests. My head spins. This can’t be it. “No, what?” “You don’t mean it. You can’t just say it without meaning it.” I mean it .I really really mean it. I grab his hand as he starts leaving again. “I can prove it.” I tell him. I close the already small gap between us and we kiss. It feels electric. Every bone in my body feels that this is right. But a small part of me knows something is wrong. “Fuck.” Edwin swears when we break apart. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to force you to…” Edwin shakes his head
“It’s not that, I just-” He looks up at me and stops in his tracks. I want to kiss him again. He looks so pretty like this. But it’ll never happen. We can’t happen. “I just… need time to think.” And I watch him walk through our bedroom door. What have I done?
*~Charles Pov~*
“And what does he even mean time? I’ve given him 35 years, I don’t-” “Charles, you’re making me incredibly dizzy. That’s your 20th lap around my room. Sit down.” She pats a spot next to her. I allow myself to lie on her bed, my head almost touching hers. I don’t make eye contact, the ceiling is a good place to look. According to her, it’s burning out. The windows are wide open, the fan on full blast and crystals wearing something that would probably give an Edwardian child (aka Edwin) a heart attack (meaning she’s wearing a tank top and shorts)
“He hasn’t talked to me personally for three days. Three days!” I yell “Give him time, Charles. He’ll come to you when he’s ready.” I can’t see but I must make a face cause then Crystal asks “How long would you wait for him?” “Forever.” It’s true. I would wait till the end of time if it meant Edwin and I could be together. “So? Let him have space. I highly doubt he’s going to take forever.” She smiles at me. I hardly remember the days i thought I liked her. Just a faint memory of our kiss. “Thanks for your help. You’ve been really aces about this whole Edwin thing.” “Oh don’t be getting soft on me, Rowland.” She punches me softly in the arm. I can’t feel it physically but I can pretend. I dramatically roll off the bed and look at Crystal. “Really? Nothing?” She smirks as she stands over me. “Get out of my room! You’re so down bad for Edwin, I’m gonna puke.” I take that as my cue to leave. “Love you too.” I say and leave before she can throw something at me.
I walk around for a while. I can’t face Edwin like this. He still feels the same, right? He couldn’t have changed his mind in only 1 month. I need to talk to him. I walk back to the agency. “Edwin?” I call out. No answer. “Edwin?” I call again. No answer. I look around. The stack of books usually sitting by the couch is gone. The scattered case files on the desk have been organized into solved and ongoing on the wall. The dust that usually covers my chair is clean. That can only mean one thing. Panic cleaning. I see an out of place color out of the corner of my eye. A sticky note on the desk. “Went out. Talk when I get back?”
*-Edwin’s POV-*
That’s it! Three days is long enough! I ruined my chance. Charles is probably out with some girl. I start picking up objects. The stack of books next to the couch. New cases Night Nurse (or Charlie as Charles calls her) has been dropping on our desks. Images (Crystal calls them polaroids?) of the agency all together. I even find myself grabbing a rag and dusting off the chair Charles bought but never uses. This has gone too far. I need to talk to Niko. I walk instead of mirror traveling. I need time to think. By the time I get to Nikos door, it’s far later than I had intended. “Edwin?” She asks, squinting as she opens the door. She’s already in her pajamas. “Sorry I shouldn’t have come. I didn’t realize how late it was.” She shakes her head. “Cmon in.” She sounds drowsy. She pads back inside, her slippers squeaking as she walks. I stand at the door for a moment before following her in.
A couple minutes later, I’m sitting on her floor, holding a cocoa mug. “Niko, we’re ghosts. We can’t taste anything.” I remind her “Just try it.” She says, now in her glasses and holding a Scooby Doo blanket. I take a sip. It tastes different from the cocoa I had when I was alive but exactly how I imagined cocoa to taste now. A feeling of comfort seeps in and a warm feeling replaces my dread. “Tragic Mick felt he owed me a favor.” Nikos has been working at Tragic Micks since she died. She says it gives her something to do when she can’t help on a case. But I think she just likes spending time with Mick and Monty. “I believe I have a dilemma.” I state finally. Niko sips her cocoa. “Is it about Charles?” She asks. She really is incredibly perceptive. “How did you know?” “Dust on your hands means you’ve been panic cleaning. So you’re stressed. You’re wearing more layers than usual meaning you’re not as comfortable with people around you aka you haven’t been spending time with Charles. Plus, you haven’t even come to Crystal about a case in a couple days.” She points out. She’s right, as usual. “So what’s up with Charles?” She asks.
“He…kissed me.” “Oh.” There’s a beat of silence. “Is that a good or bad thing?” She ties her hair back as I struggle to find an answer. “I don’t know. We kissed and now I haven’t talked to him in 3 days. And I messed everything up.” Niko smiles at me. “You didn’t mess anything up.You and Charles are just oblivious.” Her white hair swishes side to side as she moves her head. If I had to date a girl, I would choose her. That’s a weird thing to think, Edwin. Anyways, “What do you mean oblivious?” “He legitimately said he liked Crystal cause she was like you. Then kissed her and joked about-" “Yeah yeah, I get the point.” I’m glad I don’t have blood. Otherwise my face would be red hot. “He got jealous about the cat king before you even told him the other part of the deal.” “He was angry. He wanted to protect me against unwanted advances.”
Not that unwanted. He’s the reason I know I like Charles. “That was just him not knowing how to express himself. You know that better than anyone. Also, have you seen the way he looks at you? I’ve only seen that look in manga.” “Ew.” Niko’s eyes widen A little though it’s mostly a joke. Mostly. “Not that type of manga, Edwin!” She yells. The room is silent for another minute. It feels calm. My cocoa is cold but I still take a sip. Calm “I should go.” I look at the time. Ghosts don’t sleep but Niko likes her rest so I want to respect that. “Go get your man!” She exclaims. And with that I’m out of the room.
*~Charles POV~*
I’ve been pacing the office for hours by the time I finally see the mirror ripple. Edwin. I try to steady my shaking hands as I will myself to sit down. Look casual. “Good evening.” Edwin greets “hi.” I swallow hard. He turns his back to me and by some ghost logic he’s fully changed by the time he turns back around. He’s just in a short sleeved button up, trousers and socks now. He’s so adorable. “We should talk.” He circles me like a shark. I don’t have a thought in my mind, just Edwin. He looks at me like I’m the sun and he’s just a star. But he’s not just anything. He’s everything. I stand up across from where Edwin is standing. “We should.” I agree. “I’m in love with you.” My non-existent heart drops in my chest. I put on a false smirk. “I know.” I look at his lips, just like I have many times before. But this time they’re stained slightly brown. Like cocoa.
“I shouldn’t have run off like that. That was unfair of me.” How doesn’t he know how much I love him? It’s unfair for someone so kind, so considerate, so sweet to feel he isn’t good enough. “Nothing you do could change how I feel about you. We still have an eternity together.” I hold his hand. I feel warm. This feels right. The same but so different. “I shouldn’t have made you wait.” I have to force myself not to laugh. Edwin avoids eye contact. “Look at me.” His green eyes look so pretty in the dim light of the office. “I’d wait an eternity for you. No amount of time is too much as long as we’re together.” I promise him. “Now I believe we have something else to do.” I state. God did I just say that? What if he feels pressured to kiss me?
“And what would that be?” He asks, faking innocence. Instead of saying anything, I lean in and kiss him. This is even better than my first kiss with him. My eyes flutter closed. I know if I could still breathe I’d be breathless. I’m kissing Edwin Payne. I’m kissing Edwin Payne. We continue for a minute or two. I think about death for a second. “God, you’re gonna kill me again!” I exclaim when we break off. Edwin just smiles. I’d kiss him a million times just to see that smile. It’s the sunset cutting through the darkest night. The same smile he had when we met. I was lost for a long time but now I know. This is the only afterlife I want.