Work Text:
Dick: Ok so
Dick: Todays Tims birthday!!!!!!!
Dick: Were going to plan something for him >:)
Dick: Sos??? Reply guys
Jason: im trying to chill and reread pride and prejudice for the fifth time
Jason: .
Jason: but its timbos birthday so im def in
Dick: Dami?
Damian: Depends.
Damian: What are planning to do?
Dick: Nothing illegal dw
Jason: im guessing a surprise party
Dick: Call me a basic bitch but yes
Jason: LMFAOO ok so where d we do it tho
Jason: his apartment?
Dick: I was thinking of that
Dick: He told me he was going to be out today until 6
Dick: We have time
Jason: its literally 5
Dick: We have time
Damian: Great, Richard. Just great.
Damian: Why didn’t you inform us of this earlier?
Dick: I lowk forgot
Dick: Hehe
Jason: omfg dick
Jason: ok so it takes me approximately like 20 mins max to reach his place
Jason: what do i need to bring
Dick: Uhh
Dick: Jason you get the cake
Dick: Damian you get the decor
Dick: Im already at his apartment
Dick: Im going to set up first
Jason: why r u at his apartment alrd tho
Damian: Alright. It’ll take me a few to collect the balloons.
Damian: Does he have a preferred color?
Damian: I asked Pennyworth to drop me off at Drake’s place.
Dick: No yes idk
Dick: Red
Jason: what flavor does he even like
Dick: Get chocolate???
Jason: do u think he will like mickey mouse
Dick: Holy crap I accidentally flipped the table
Jason: how tf
Jason: whoops the cashier saw my gun and she thought i was going to rob her
Jason: BYE IDK WHAT SHES DOING BUT I THINK SHES CALLING THE COPS???
Dick: WHAT
Dick: So anyway i was lifting this table up and i was like ‘why this shit so heavy??’
Dick: Used like idk a lot of force and it flew up
Dick: And like hit the ceiling
Dick: Then the floor
Dick: Oof its beyond repair i gotta throw this away
Damian: I was going to get Drake some candies because I was feeling nice.
Damian: The cashier laughed and said, “You can only use a condom when you grow up!”
Jason: HELPPPP
Damian: So I got a little mad and pointed my katana at him, demanding he sells it to me.
Damian: Frankly, I am a bit embarrassed that I’ve mistaken a condom for a candy.
Jason: OMFG THIS GIRL JUST PISSES ME OFF
Jason: IM NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING IM TRYNA BUY CAKE
Dick: Dami everyone makes mistakes :)
Dick: And Jason did you get the cake or nah
Damian: Fine. Why does everyone treat me as though I’m a child?
Jason: DO U FR WANT ME TO ANSWER THAT
Jason: i stole the cake
Jason: not rly lol i just yelled ‘shut the fuck up and hand over the cake’
Jason: she did and i slammed twenty bucks and left
Jason: im omw now ^_^
Dick: Good
Dick: I need some help with the ruckus I made
Jason: wait wtf did u do
Dick: Like
Dick: Should i ring up Zatanna to come help me
Jason: shit theres the police on my ass i cant come yet
Jason: also WHAT exactly did YOU DO
Dick: I may or may have not smashed a lot of things
Dick: Nvm Ill get him newer and better ones
Dick: With Bruces credit card ofc
Damian: You have father’s credit card?
Dick: Shhhh
Dick: Im gonna go furniture shopping brb
Damian: I’ll be there in 5.
Damian: Since I’m free, I can help with the set ups.
Dick: AWW
Dick: YAY THANK YOU DAMI <3
Damian: …
Damian: You’re welcome.
Damian: <3
Jason: wait someone actually help me im
Jason: how do i get them to stop
Jason: chasing
Jason: me
Dick: Should I get him a new bed
Damian: Richard. Relevant stuff only.
Dick: So a new bed it is
Damian: …
Jason: guys i think
Jason: im finna get
Jason: arrested
Damian: Good.
Jason: that is not helping demon brat
Damian: Send me your location.
Damian: I could slain every one of the police department if you want me to.
Jason: aww u would do it for me?
Dick: No Dami no killing
Dick: And Jason why are you even running from them if youre innocent
Jason: bc
Jason: wait
Jason: why did u kinda make a good point
Jason: should i turn myself in
Dick: No???
Dick: Literally just explained that you paid for the cake
Dick: And that you committed no crime
Dick: Hows it going with the set ups
Damian: Good.
Damian: I got some assistance.
Dick: ??
Dick: From who
Dick: Dami???
Dick: REPLY
Jason: PLEASE
Jason: they dragged me to the police department for some reason
Jason: they want me to formally apologise for scaring the cashier or smt
Jason: for WHAT i did nothing to her
Dick: Jay :(
Dick: The cake:(
Jason: i thought u were going to ask if i was ok but ig not
Dick: How are you holding up
Dick: And how’s the cake
Dick: Jay
Dick: COME BACK
Damian: Hello
Damian: I’m Starfire, Koriand’r
Damian: Please try to not leave your child unattended
Dick: KORI???
Damian: Oh, hello Dick :))
Damian: Also he’s like a kitty cat
Damian: He’s trying to scratch me profusely hehe
Damian: May I adopt him
Dick: NO
Dick: I was here FIRST
Dick: Find your own little guy Kori but Dami is mine
Damian: That’s too bad
Dick: Whatre you planning to do
Dick: Hello???
Dick: Guys stop leaving me on read. I swear.
Damian: I apologise for my late response.
Damian: The one that was assisting me with the decorations insisted that she adopt me.
Damian: I was trying to politely tell her ‘no’, but she refuses to get the hint.
Damian: Then, she snatched my phone.
Dick: Is Kori still with you
Damian: The one that is trying to adopt me? Yes.
Damian: Thanks to her, I almost got everything done.
Dick: Yayy thats good
Dick: I bought new tables and chairs for Tim
Dick: And a new rug too!
Dick: Tell Kori a ‘thank you’, for me :)
Dick: Jay? Update?
Damian: I told her “Richard expresses his thanks.” And she thought that I was the one thanking her.
Damian: She keeps hugging me and not letting me go.
Damian: No respect for boundaries, whatsoever.
Dick: AWW DAMI THATS KINDA CUTE
Dick: I WANT TO HUG YOU TOO
Damian: …
Damian: Do not.
Dick: D:
Damian: It’s a quarter to six.
Damian: Is Todd on his way?
Jason: ummm
Jason: so
Jason: i got like super annoyed at the police
Jason: and i may or may have not smashed the cake into his face
Jason: and shouted ‘i paid for this bitch and ur on my ass for whatever reason’
Jason: then i just walked out of the building
Dick: THE CAKE???
Jason: chill ima get a new one
Dick: …
Damian: Update here.
Damian: The pink-haired lady just left.
Damian: And I think there’s a figure heading towards this room.
Dick: WHAT
Dick: So youre alone???
Dick: IM OTW
Damian: That’s not the issue here.
Damian: Timothy’s back.
Jason: WHAT
Dick: DAMI TRY TO HOLD THE DOOR
Dick: HE CANT COME IN
Dick: NOT AFTER WERE DONE
Damian: I am.
Damian: I blocked the door with a table
Damian: I don’t know if it’s going to hold forever, though.
Dick: SHIT
Dick: WHATS UR ETA JASON
Jason: 10 MINS
Jason: i got him a chocolate cake with fruits
Jason: wait why does it look kinda
Dick: Huh???
Dick: Kinda what
Damian: Hurry up.
Damian: He was speaking with someone and left.
Damian: I think he’s going down to speak with the receptionist.
Damian: We don’t have much time.
Jason: uh
Jason: the cashier packaged the wrong one
Jason: …
Dick: What
Dick: Also Dami Im here
Dick: Open the window
Jason: HELP I GOT HIM A
Jason: MY LITTLE PONY CAKE
Dick: WHAT
Damian: What.
Jason: what
Dick: What
Jason: stop saying what pls guys for the love of god
Dick: Whatever Jay
Dick: It doesnt matter we dont have time now
Jason: I KNOW
Jason: almost there
Jason: anything i have to do?
Dick: Ok Jason you stay at the front door to see if hes coming and me and Dami are going to perfect the decorations
Dick: Also guys lets prevent speaking as itll make a lot of noise
Dick: This is suppose to be a surprise party
Jason: heard u the first time
Damian: Are you here yet, Todd?
Jason: almost
Damian: I ought to think I have heard that word several times already.
Jason: shut it
Jason: ok im here fr open the window!
Dick: GUYS I HEAR FOOTSTEPS
Dick: CAN WE PLEASE BE EXTRA QUIET REAL QUICK
Jason: ok ok
Jason: target locked
Dick: Are you all at your rightful positions
Damian: Yes.
Jason: wait i see him
Jason: hes with someone
Jason: IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS
Jason: THEYRE HOLDING HANDS?!??!!???
Dick: What
Damian: I knew this wasn’t going to work.
Dick: WDYM BY THAT
Tim: ???
Tim: aint no way
Dick: Wait hows Tim here
Tim: u literally added me
Dick: What no
Dick: I made a separate Gcs for our birthday party planning
Jason: dickie i think u may have messed up on this
Dick: Wait wait wait
Damian: Wow, didn’t even know Richard was capable of being that stupid.
Dick: SHUSH DAMI
Tim: ok so are yall like gonna open the door or what
Tim: i didnt even know this gc existed my phone was off
Dick: No Tim it was supposed to be a surprise birthday party :(
Jason: we could still have a birthday party yk
Dick: That ruins the whole word of ‘surprise’ :(
Tim: aw thanks for putting so much effort guys
Jason: ofc
Jason: happy birthday timbit and love u <3
Tim: ty jay love u too!!!
Tim: <3
Dick: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIM!! Also Jason I wanted to be the first to say it >:(
Tim: thanks dickie :)
Damian: Are we going to ignore the fact that Todd literally said Timothy was holding hands with a particular person?
Tim: oh
Dick: Well the surprise birthday partys ruined youd better spill the tea
Dick: You and Superboy
Dick: I didnt expect him to be the one you would be dating tho
Tim: omfg
Tim: meet my boyfriend, conner i guess??
Jason: YOURE BLUSHINGGG
Jason: THATS SO CUTE TIMANTHA
Tim: stop,,,,thats em barrassing
Damian: Congratulations.
Damian: I suppose I did not send my condolence to you earlier, happy birthday.
Tim: thanks bat brat :D !!
Dick: You better tell me about 1) how you two met 2) how you two started dating and most importantly, 3) his location
Jason: yes! especially the last part :)
Tim: leave my boyfie aloneeeee
Tim: also open the door guys we can talk inside
Tim: ITS SO HOT OUT HERE
Jason: he better not break ur heart or ill break his bones
Jason: mark my words