Work Text:
Nobody knows more about being a third wheel than I do.
No. Body.
But over the years, I've learned a few tricks to make things easier on myself, and hopefully on you, too.
1.) Headphones are a must.
2.) Ignore suspicious invitations.
3.) Take incriminating photos for blackmailing purposes.
4.) Ignorance is bliss.
The last one is a sanity saver.
One final piece of advice: when in doubt, never look behind closed doors. Pretend you can't hear the sound of a headboard hitting a wall. (Remember: headphones!)
Seriously. Do they have to do that kind of stuff in my hotel?