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He’d been nothing but stress and nerves for the past seven months and four days. Which was exactly how long he’d known that his daughter—his baby who he could remember cradling in his arms, and feeding and nappy changing, and toothless gumming on his fingers—was going to have her own. James Potter knew that kids had sex. Hell, he was no blushing virgin by the time he and Lily decided to make a proper go of things. There had been a handful of people at his school during upper sixth who had scarpered before the A-Levels when they learnt their trysts behind the footie pitch were now leading to something life-changing.
But his baby had just turned sixteen. And as far as he’d known—not that he was all up in her business all the time—she hadn’t even been dating. Hell, he and Lily had assumed she was asexual for all the attention she paid to anyone who wasn’t her mates.
He had known things would be different after Harry was off to Uni, but he hadn’t assumed it would be like this.
James Potter, ex football star, celebrity physical therapist, father of two, husband to one, blind, and now going to be a granddad.
He wished his own parents were alive for this. He’d definitely be there right now being plied with hot cup after hot cup of masala chai and bowl after bowl of mango kulfi that only his mother had ever been able to get right.
Instead he was just coming off a pub night with Sirius and Remus, who were living in a flat in Chelsea with their two year old now, so not close enough for James to just pop on over whenever he felt like it. But they were being supportive so James could vent elsewhere and not bring home his fear and insecurity.
“It’s not the end of the world, you know,” Remus said, patting James on the shoulder at their local. James had both hands wrapped round a pint like an anchor, and his two best mates were on either side of him. “I mean, she’s already got her GCSEs out of the way, and she’d already mentioned several times she didn’t want to bother with A-Levels. You were alright with it.”
“She wanted to open up a café,” James muttered at the rim of his beer. He could hear Sirius to his left heaving a sigh, and he knew they were probably sharing a look over his head like they used to do in school whenever he would storm-cloud over Lily. Now he was storm-clouding over the product of he and Lily’s loins because that product had created her own product and so young.
“She’s just so young,” James found himself muttering.
“Yes well, Ash has always…had her own ideas about things,” Sirius said quietly, putting one hand on the back of James’ neck and squeezing. “Never one to follow tradition. Even with you know, typical teenage rubbish.”
James leant into the touch just a little. “Yes but…a baby? My baby is having a baby?” He sighed, lifted the pint to his lips, and drank until it was gone.
Remus sighed, prying the glass from his hands. “One more, then you’re cut off. I need to send a sober James home or Lily will have my bollocks.” The scraping of the chair signalled Remus’ hasty exit, and James bowed his head, leaning toward Sirius.
“Was it me? Have I fucked up at this whole being a dad, business?”
Sirius laughed. “Mate, teenagers have sex. You know perfectly well. You were eighteen when Harry came screaming and wailing into this world. You were terrified, your parents had just passed, and somehow you managed to make it onto a professional football team and actually get famous. I think any child of yours is going to be just fine.”
“I also managed to get myself attacked by a psychopath, and blinded,” James pointed out, turning his head toward Sirius. “So…”
“I don’t think you’ve got to worry that much, mate,” Sirius said very quietly. His hand moved from James’ neck to the side of his face, cupping it gently. “I think she’s going to be just fine.”
“She’s having a baby almost same time as you and Moony had Teddy. You don’t think that’s weird?”
“It’s weird, sure. But Moony and I have got started late,” Sirius pointed out. “And without a uterus to spare between us we’ve had to try really hard for this whole thing. So it’s not exactly like Ash and I are sharing the whole—whoops, the condom broke, did I remember my pill today, experience. Also you could just quit worrying, grandpa.”
James’ entire face went hot. “Oy!” Then he stopped because oh shit, he was though. “I’m a sodding grandpa.”
Sirius laughed, hooking his arm round James’ shoulder and pulled him in close. “You look a bit like one, too.”
“Lies. Lies and slander! I might not have been able to see my face in twenty years but I do not look like a grandpa. I’m Indian, we age incredibly well. I remember what my dad looked like. Fucking dashing.”
The movement to his left signalled Remus’ arrival with the second pint, and there was a hand on his back, warm lips pressed to his cheek. “You’re just as dashing, Prongs. Don’t let this arse tell you different because he’s upset he’s found a couple of silver hairs yesterday when he was giving Teddy his bath.”
“I have not,” Sirius crowed. “I told you it was the lighting. I panicked over nothing.”
He felt better by the time Remus and Sirius dropped him off at his front door. He was a little wobbly, but not pissed, and managed to find his way upstairs without incident. He was following his usual route to his bedroom where Lily was upstairs grading papers, but a small voice stopped him just as he was passing his baby girl’s room.
One that had been a nursery, and a toddler’s room. And the room of an eight year old who knew the lyrics to all the Disney songs ever. He had no idea what it looked like now, he never bothered to ask beyond where her furniture was—if only to avoid bruised shins—but he assumed it didn’t scream, “I’m about to become a mum.”
The worst of it was, or James assumed maybe this was the worst of it, she wouldn’t tell them who the other person was who helped create this baby other than a short lecture of, “Don’t assume I haven’t thought this through. And don’t assume I’m too stupid to decide for myself what I want.”
James wanted to pummel whomever had done it, but then again he thought about when he was that age and it’s not like he’d meant any harm ever with the girls he’d had quick shags with behind the greenhouses, and who knows what he would have said or done had one of them come to him with that sort of news at sixteen.
“Dad? Is that you?”
James paused with his hand on the doorframe, and poked his face in his daughter’s room. “You still up? It’s late.”
“I can’t sleep.” Ash shifted, a rustle of her duvet and the extra pillows she’d begged her mum for. “I have the world’s worst heartburn and everything from head to toe is aching.”
James took a step in the room. “Anything on the floor that’s going to aid in my one-day broken neck?”
Ashima giggled under her breath and he heard her shift again. “No. Clear path to my desk chair if you want to sit.”
From infancy, not leaving things in the middle of the floor were habits for Ashima and Harij Potter. Harry had only been eighteen months when the attack occurred, and he’d grown up only knowing his blind father, and Ash had been born just after the attack. Which created certain habits to keep James’ tripping and falling to a minimum.
The only time the kids’ rooms were messy was when they were well furious with him, and right now he felt like any ire should be directed anywhere else but at him. For all that he’d learnt the past few months, he thought he was taking it in great stride.
Crossing the room, James bypassed Ash’s writing desk, his hand out and finding the edge of her bed. “Budge up,” he said quietly. “You sat up or lying down?”
“Sat up against my pillows,” was her soft reply.
“Feet bothering you?” James climbed onto his daughter’s bed, propping himself up against the wall and taking her legs into his lap. His expert hands—hands well trained to bring relief and healing to his patients, began to knead at the arch of one foot.
Ash let out a groan. “Everything’s bothering me.”
“Well good thing I’m a massage god, innit?”
“You’re a something,” Ash muttered, which made James grin. “This is nice though. Mum had me take a bath with all these dodgy smelling herbs she’d read about online—which by the way, keep her off google. I’m starting to feel like she’s preparing me for a soup or something.”
James laughed. “She’s trying, betii.”
“Yeah well…she can stop. I’m going to have a baby, it’s not like I’m about to have some alien burst out of my stomach or something.”
James took in a breath and hoped he wasn’t obvious how very much he still was barely handling the whole, I’m going to have a baby thing coming out of his daughter’s mouth. He switched feet for a few moments, then moved up to her calves. She let out a small groan, and he could feel her shifting down against the pillows.
“Have I ever told you that you’re the best dad ever?”
“Not as such. I’ve heard worst dad, oh my god you’re ruining my life, why can you just let me live. But best dad. I’m going to need it in writing. And a memo sent to your brother because it means that little shit was wrong all these years.”
Ash laughed again, shifting to her legs were more firmly draped across her dad’s thighs. “I probably wouldn’t have reconsidered this or anything, but I wish someone had told me how absolute shite the last month is. I haven’t slept properly in weeks, and I look like a walrus.”
“From what I recall,” James said softly, “and mind I’m not the best judge because my visual memory is crap—but I thought walruses were rather fetching.” At the sound of her giggle, he shifted her legs away. “Up you get, and turn round. I’ll work on your back a bit.”
He helped her set up a few pillows she could lean forward against, and carefully he began to work the muscles under the light tee she was wearing. “This mine?” he asked, tugging at the fabric.
“Only thing I can get comfy in,” she muttered, he voice muffled by the pillow she was hugging.
James smiled, recalling when Ash and Harry used to tear about in his t-shirts, the hems hanging down well past their knees and after a year of this, Lily had abandoned trying to buy them pyjamas, instead making sure James had a full wardrobe stock of cheap t-shirts for the kids to sleep and bang about the house in.
“Feeling any better?” James asked after a few minutes.
“A little.” Ash sighed as James kept going. “I mean, I don’t think there’s any real relief for me. Mum said it’s my body preparing me for what it’s going to be like when the baby comes. I don’t know why you couldn’t have been one of those celebrities who’s also so super rich we need nannies so they can have the sleepless nights.”
“Fair’s fair, love. Payback’s a bitch.” He reached up to tug at her plait, and she scoffed. “If you don’t spend at least a month straight pacing the floor with a screaming child, then karma has failed me.”
Ash grumbled something into her pillow which made James laugh. “Will you lay with me, dad? For just a little bit?”
James felt his heart swell in his chest because honestly, he would do literally anything for his children. But being asked to give cuddles was probably the only thing that could reduce him to a pile of simpering ooze made of emotions and pride that he’d done well enough as a parent amongst everything else he had to endure.
Ash shifted on the bed, lying on her side as her mother insisted she do, and James sat up against the headboard, turned slightly toward her, and he rested one hand against the massive swell of her belly. After a moment, there were a series of taps against his hand, which grew more frantic until her entire belly was rolling and shaking.
“Fuck,” she gasped. “This keeps happening. Like I think the baby actually wants to break out like that stupid little baby alien. I keep trying to tell it that’s not how humans do things, but I’m starting to wonder about the nature of this beast.”
James snickered, rubbing soothing circles over her stomach and leant forward. “Chill out, dohiti. Your mummy needs her sleep.”
Ash turned just a little. “I know it’s…I mean I know you are... you know, kind of old. But it is really weird that you’re about to become a granddad. I mean, I’m glad it gets to be me to bestow that crown upon your head. But yeah. It’s weird. Harry can’t stop laughing every time I bring it up.”
“Well Harry’s a little shit,” James grumbled, but he was smiling just a little. “You’re the good one, you know.”
Ash yawned and reached out for James’ free hand, squeezing it. “I’ve been telling you that for years. I can’t believe it took you this long to realise it.”
“Well you know how thick Harry is. Where d’you think he got it from?”
“True,” Ash said. “Looks and daftness apparently were hereditary.”
James reached down, cupping his daughter’s cheek, then pressed a kiss to the centre of her forehead. “Think you can sleep now?”
“Maybe.” She sounded like she was already drifting. After a long moment, just as he was starting to shift over, she grabbed his waist and buried her face against his ribs. “Thanks. I don’t…I mean I don’t want to change my mind, but I’m bloody terrified. Only I know I’m way less terrified because I’ve got you and mum.”
James felt something twisting in his chest and he realised that for all this worry he’d been doing over himself and the fact that he was about to become a grandfather, he hadn’t stopped to think his daughter might be shaken down to her very core about becoming a mother.
He carefully shifted her up, taking her in his arms and in spite of the swollen belly and the fact that she was rushing head-first into adulthood, he could still hold her like he had when she was four and crying after a vicious nightmare. His hand pet her hair, and he kissed her temple gently. “Nothing will change, that, you know. You’ve got me for life. I mean, I survived an attack by a madman so obviously I’m some sort of god.”
“You’re so stupid,” she muttered fondly, keeping her face pressed against his shoulder. “You really think I’m going to be alright at this?”
“You learnt from the best,” James said, then laughed when she scoffed against his shirt. “Honestly, Ashima, you are smart and talented and you’ve got so much love inside you. You’re going to be fucking brilliant?”
She pulled her head away from him. “Yeah?”
“Definitely, yeah.”
As she started to drift off properly, James kissed her forehead, then carefully extracted himself from the bed. He felt for the light, flicking it off before heading back into the hall. His hand trailed along the wall as he walked the familiar path to his bedroom, and slipped in.
“Lils?”
“Reading in bed,” Lily answered.
James felt his mouth soften into a smile as he shucked his trousers and shirt, tossing him to the corner. Making his way across the room with shuffled feet, his hand felt out for the bed, then he wriggled under the covers, sliding up to Lily’s side and laid one hand on her bare thigh.
“Heard Ash calling for you. She okay?” Lily asked.
James heard her close the book and slide it onto the nightstand, and he answered as she was sliding down into his arms more fully. “Mm. Just having trouble sleeping. I remember when you were dealing with it.” His hand ghosted down her torso, gliding between her breasts to splay out along her stomach. The skin there was half smooth, half rough with stretch-marks, the scars she bore from giving birth. He loved the feeling of it under his fingers. Honestly he loved the feel of all of her.
“Not long now, then we’ll have another screaming baby in the house,” Lily murmured. She turned her face into his neck and kissed him gently.
“I know.” James breathed out, letting his fingers wander into her hair. She wore it still longer, cascading just past her shoulders, and his fingers worked out a couple of the knots from the day. “We’re going to be grandparents, Lils.”
“Freaking out?” Lily asked, snickering a little as one of her hands went up to play with his hair.
“Aren’t you? I’m too young. My bones aren’t old yet.”
“Well, we got started young,” Lily said, tucking her head under James’ chin. “And apparently Ash wants to beat our record.”
James groaned. “You know, I always thought it would be Harry. Not that I don’t think he’s responsible or anything…”
Lily giggled. “Can you use Harry and responsible in the same sentence?” James laughed and kissed the top of her head as she snuggled closer. “But yeah I thought for sure it would be Ginny. Then he went and started dating that Malfoy and well…I thought maybe we wouldn’t be getting grandkids at all.” Lily fell silent a moment, leaning into James’ gentle caresses. “You’re not even a little excited? To have another baby around?”
James sighed. “I dunno. I probably will be soon. I mean, we’ve got this one coming along, and we’ve got Teddy, and well…seems like a lot.”
“You love babies, James. You’re the baby guy,” Lily reminded him.
He huffed, but held her closer. “Yeah well, it was nice having a quiet house while it lasted, you know. My goal to be able to walk round starkers whenever I feel like it just has to go back on hold for a few years.”
Lily laughed, turning fully in his arms, and pulled him down for a warm kiss. Her tongue slipped in his mouth, and he let all the air he’d been holding in out through his nose. His arms wrapped round her right, fingers playing up and down her spine as she pressed her front to his. One of his knees slipped between her thighs and he rubbed up hard, smiling at the sound of her moan.
“You certainly don’t shag like an old man,” Lily said, and James quickly reminded her how true that was.
***
Balancing the toddler on his knee, Remus pushed the plate toward his curly-haired son and handed over the spoon. Teddy was in a strop that morning, not interested in being in his chair, and in a rare moment for the toddler, wanted to be held.
“You don’t think he’s poorly, do you?” Sirius asked, looking across the table at the round face of his son which was half-coated in honeyed porridge.
Remus’ hand lifted from his paper to the boy’s forehead, and he pressed the inside of his wrist against it. “Not warm. He’s probably just having another growth spurt.”
“Another?” Sirius leant over the table and met his son’s eyes for a brief moment before the boy looked away. “Teddy, are you growing again?”
“No!”
“Are you shrinking?”
“No!”
“Do you love your dads?”
“Noooooo!”
Remus chuckled as he gave the boy a small bounce, making him giggle as he shoved his entire fist into the porridge, then sucked it from his fingers.
“Spoon, son,” Sirius said without a hint of force. Teddy was the most fussy eater, so they called it a win if he managed to get down even half a prepared meal.
Teddy looked at the spoon, then flung it across at Sirius, missing him by a hair.
With a sigh, Remus reached for the wet flannel and amidst the boy’s shrieks, managed to mop up most of his face and hands before letting him slide down to play with his blocks. Sitting back, Remus scratched at a bit of dried porridge on his cheek.
“I think I’ve never been more profoundly grateful for all the practise James and Lily gave us.”
Sirius snorted, coming round the table to cup Remus’ cheeks in his hands, kissing him lightly. “Teddy is much less…mischievous.”
“How that must disappoint you?” Remus murmured as Sirius perched himself on the end of Remus’ knee.
“Are you kidding? I live my life in abject and perpetual fear that he’ll be at all even remotely like us when he gets older.” Sirius nuzzled his nose up against his husband’s cheek and breathed him in. “You smell like jam and toddler.”
“Didn’t you hear. That new fragrance is all the rage for swotty old writers who decide to raise a baby late in life.”
“Late in life. How dare you Remus John Lupin. How. Dare.”
“Come on, Pads. It’s a little true. James and Lily are about to become grandparents. That reflects on us at least a little. We’re the old parents. Like the Potters.”
“Oh don’t start with me. James and Lily started too early. And don’t get me started on Ash,” Sirius said. “Lord knows what that girl was thinking.”
“You’re only saying that on account you’re a raging asexual who felt too weird about giving your goddaughter the sex talk. It’s probably all your fault, you know.”
Sirius pinked in the cheeks a bit and he smacked Remus on the arm. “Shut your face.” After a moment of silence, he sighed. “She seems happy, yeah?”
“Yeah. I brought her some ice cream the other day for one of her cravings and she seemed excited. I think once James gets over his nerves, he’ll be as well.” Remus drew his hands up the back of Sirius’ shirt and splayed his hands open along Sirius’ lower back.
“Are you kidding? James Potter, the baby whisperer. He’s over the sodding moon. Or will be once he gets over the whole, my baby is having a baby thing. The moment someone puts that little sprog in his arms he’s going to be a puddle of goo and funny noises.”
Remus chuckled, leaning his head against Sirius’ chest and held him tight. “At least Teddy will get to grow up with relatives close to his age, you know? And I was thinking…” Remus trailed off, his voice more quiet than usual. He felt Sirius stiffen under his hands, and he let out a long sigh. “I know we moved because…well. It was a tough time living out there, but maybe we should consider moving back. I saw a house a couple down from Prongs’ go up for sale.”
“You want to buy a house?” Sirius asked, his voice quiet as well. “Out there?”
“We’re driving out there enough as it is. And if Ash is going to have this baby, maybe we could…I mean I know it was hard when Harry and Ash were that age, and we were struggling. But it would be nice to try again.”
Sirius tipped Remus’ head up and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. “Do you know how much I love you, Remus? Because I don’t think there are maths calculations that high. I don’t think there are words in any language that would sum it up.”
Remus flushed, holding on to Sirius tight. “You want to go have a look at it tomorrow?”
Sirius grinned. “Yeah, Moons. Yeah I do.”
***
He was sat on the floor with Teddy playing with the giant lego when he heard the groaning for the first time. Lifting his head, James tilted his ear toward the stairs. “Betii?” He waited, but there was no answer, so he assumed she had just come from the loo again and was back in her room.
She was four days past the due date of the baby, and his daughter was miserable. Her doctor was hesitant to induce labour seeing as she was so young, and it would be too hard on her body. Of course Ashima Potter did not enjoy being in any type of discomfort, so she was a complete nightmare at home.
James was on holiday now, his office closed for the first month the baby was supposed to be there, and Lily had officially resigned her teaching post. Harry was home for the summer now, getting ready for his last year of sixth form, but he had scarpered off with his boyfriend to avoid the wrath of his uncomfortable, pregnant sister.
Currently James was minding Teddy whilst Sirius and Remus sorted out the final paperwork for the sale of their new house. James hadn’t directly said how happy he was his two best friends had decided to move back to the Hollow, but it was probably very obvious.
“Green,” Teddy said quietly. “Want green.”
James grinned at him. “Can’t see the colours, Mini-Moony. Can you show me which is green?”
There was a long pause before a giant lego block was shoved into James’ hands. “Green.”
“Alright. And where’s it go?”
“Castle.” Teddy’s tiny fingers grabbed onto James’ pinky, directing him to the castle they were constructing. Currently it was only four blocks tall, but if that’s what was a castle to the boy, then it was the most magnificent castle ever.
James clicked the lego into place, then stopped again when he heard the groan. Pushing on the ground, James rose. “Teddy, don’t move, okay? I’m going to go check on Ash.” James listened for the slight jingle on the boy’s shoes from the tiny bells tied to the laces. It had been a trick he and Lily came up with to prevent him from losing any of the children when they were younger after a particularly rough afternoon when Harry had discovered how fun it was to stand absolutely still and silent in the middle of the room when James was looking for him.
Teddy, being one of the most non-verbal toddlers James had ever met, always wore his bells when he was at the Potter’s, even if there were others in the room.
With a sigh, James reached out, touching the wall as he headed up the stairs, and stopped in the doorway to his daughter’s room. “Ashima?”
“I’m here. Alive. Still pregnant.” She spat the last word like a curse, and James fought back the urge to laugh. “I’m probably going to dump this baby on you, you know. The minute I shove it out. I’m going to be like, here, enjoy. Then I’m escaping to Cabo where I can live out my days alone, in total solitude with only fish to keep me company.”
James laughed, his head shaking back and forth. “I said the same thing when you were born, you know. Only I was going to take Sirius with me.”
“Yes, god forbid you do anything without your Padfoot,” Ash grumbled. “Where’s the kid?”
“Downstairs building a lego castle. You want to come and join us?”
“Does lego building induce labor? Because if not, I think I’ll just lie here in absolute misery.”
James stepped into the room carefully, his feet shuffling as he approached the bed, and he held his hand out. “Come on. We’ll go for a walk round the neighbourhood and maybe peek in on Pads and Moony’s new house. I have it on good authority,” he added when she still hadn’t taken his hand, “that walking can induce labour.”
He grinned when her smaller hand slipped into his, and he eased her up.
“Oh my god you’re heavy,” he joked. “It’s like you’ve got another human inside you or something.”
“Fuck. Off.”
James laughed harder as he pulled her in to kiss the top of her head. “You’re still short though. Come on, let’s make sure Teddy hasn’t set fire to anything.”
“He hasn’t,” Ash said, easing herself down the stairs right behind James. “He’s got too much Moony in him. He’ll grow up like some sort of messed up Jedi-Sith hybrid with his two sides warring for dominance.”
“That’s probably the most terrifying metaphor I’ve ever heard,” James said, putting his hand on her shoulder as they went into the lounge. “Ted?” There was a tiny jingle in response. “You want to go for a walk and peek into the windows of your new house?”
“Um. Okay.”
His cane hung on a hook nearby, and his hands ghosted along the wall until his fingers found it. He carefully clicked it out, then opened the door and held his hand out for his daughter and godson. “Sunny out today.”
“And hot,” Ash grumbled. “If I ever do this again, remind me I want to be this big in the winter.”
James shuddered inwardly at the thought of Ash going through this a second time, but he didn’t say anything about it. Instead he took her arm as they started off down the street, his ears listening for the jingle of Teddy’s bells. Luckily Teddy was nothing like his own kids who preferred to run off as far as they could get away with. Teddy wasn’t clingy, but his desire to explore beyond the legs of his godfather was low.
“So this is it?” Ash said as they stopped a few houses down. “Who even lived here before?”
“Barmy lady with all the cats. Figg?”
“Oh. Oh god, I hope they’ve hired someone to get all the cat smell out,” Ash said, her voice tinged in horror.
James chuckled as they turned up the walkway and mentally he recounted the steps to the front door to make sure he had it right still. “They’ve already had someone come in and replace all the flooring. No carpets. And last thing Sirius was whinging about was the cost of paint so I think they’ve done everything. It’s not too big, from what he said.”
“Nah,” Ash replied, stepping away as James let her arm go. “Bit smaller than ours. Oh, they’ve got furniture in there already. Oh god, Moony’s hideous armchair. I bet Pads tried to make him lose it in a bet before they moved.”
“Moony will die before that armchair is anywhere but in his lounge,” James said, shaking his head fondly. “What colour did Pads get on the walls?”
“Looks like a…dunno. Brownish or something. Like milky tea. Hard to see though, it’s a bit dark. They don’t get good sun here. But it’s cute.” Ash paused, then said, “I’m glad they’re back. They’re…they’re like alright, aren’t they? No more of that splitting up rubbish.”
James took a few steps toward her, hand out to find her shoulder, and he squeezed it. “Nah, no more of that. They were always meant to be together anyway. Everyone knew their split wouldn’t last.”
“Yeah well…I was scared. It was total crap, you know? It’s like you and mum splitting.”
James clenched his jaw and didn’t point out that when Ash was nothing more than a squalling infant, that had very nearly happened. Ash was born a few months after James’ accident, and he hadn’t been coping. He’d wallowed, refusing to learn any skills because he was so certain his sight would come back.
It was near that time Sirius and Remus started having problems, and when Sirius was moving in with James and Lily, James was considering moving out.
But eventually James got his head out of his arse and things worked out. He was profoundly grateful his kids had no memories of it. Especially after knowing how hard Harry and Ash took Remus and Sirius’ repeated splits over the years.
Of course there hadn’t been one in almost seven years, and James was confident now that whatever had plagued his friends had passed.
“Come on,” he said, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “Let’s go walk some more and see if we can’t get that baby out.”
An hour later, Ash couldn’t take the walking anymore, so they were back at the house and she was, as she loudly declared to anyone within a thousand foot radius, still pregnant.
Lily was home from the shops then, taking Teddy on her hip to sort out tea, and James plopped himself into the armchair, grabbing the copy of Remus’ latest book to read. Remus had been published twice, and his sales were doing fairly well in the new series he’d come up with about a Werewolf and a fallen star who took on human form. They were from stories both Remus and Sirius used to tell Harry and Ash when they were little, and James always knew they would be stories loved by more than just his two kids.
As his fingers passed onto the next chapter, footsteps sounded on the floor, and James smiled when a warm hand brushed along the back of his neck. “Mm, tea sorted?”
Lily bent down to press a kiss to his cheek, then pulled the book from his lap and replaced it with herself. James grinned, winding his arms round her waist, and put his nose right into the crook of her neck.
“Text off Harry saying he and Draco are coming over. They’ve caught a ride with Sirius and Remus.”
James hummed and nodded, kissing her skin gently. “So full house tonight. Bugger.”
“Bugger. Is that what you wanted to get up to, dirty old man?” Lily asked with a laugh, putting her hand on his face to turn it up for a proper kiss.
“Maybe I did. Though not if you keep calling me old, you wench.”
Lily bit down on his bottom lip a little hard, and he could feel her grin against his mouth. “Well, I mean, shagging in every room is out of the question, but I don’t think I’d mind if you joined me in the shower tonight.”
James shifted in his chair. “I certainly hope there aren’t a pair of overly curious toddler eyes watching us right now.”
“All alone,” Lily breathed against his ear, kissing the lobe. “Ted went upstairs to kip in Ash’s bed.”
James let out a low growl as he claimed her mouth in a greedy, slow kiss. She shifted on his lap, her hips pressing down against him, and her hands clutched at the back of his neck. “Have I mentioned how sexy you are in a while?”
“At least once a day, but I’m not going to stop you if you want to say it more,” she replied with a laugh.
James shifted again, one hand riding up the back of her shirt as he toyed with the clasp on her bra. “So…any chance you need a shower now?”
***
By the time Sirius and Remus arrived with the eldest Potter child and his current boyfriend, James and Lily were shagged, showered, and dressed again. James was sat at the table with his book, and Lily was pulling a pan of aloo gobi from the oven when the door opened and he heard the chattering.
Putting his bookmark in the book, he reached behind him, feeling out for the counter before sliding the book there and getting up. He was met by Sirius first, a hand on his, kiss to his cheek. “How was the Mini?”
James grinned as he gripped the top of Sirius’ shoulder. “Good like always. Well, always for me, anyway.”
Remus snorted. “See, Pads. This is another tick in the column for all the benefits of moving back. We can send Teddy over to James when he’s being…”
“Dad!” The small cry interrupted Remus’ words, and a moment later James could hear the toddler climbing into Remus’ lap.
“Cute,” Harry said fondly as he approached James and pulled him in for a hug. “Where’s Ash?”
“Upstairs bemoaning the child which is supposedly sucking the life from her,” James said as he gave Harry’s cheek a fond pat. “How are you doing? Are you staying here tonight?”
“Nah,” Harry said. “Ron’s coming by later and we’re going to his. Mr and Mrs Weasley are off to Romania this week to visit Charlie, but Ron couldn’t take time off work so we’re going to kip at his.”
“Be available. Your sister’s going to explode goo and baby at any given second.”
“Oh my god, dad,” Harry groaned.
James grinned. “Am I embarrassing you?”
“Draco, you remember my father, the most horrifying man on the planet.”
James held his hand out and after a moment, thin, timid fingers gripped his and shook it. James wasn’t very sure about Draco. He was posh and poncy, but James could have easily been called that at Draco’s age. In fact, Lily had called him that, and worse. Harry was bound to make a few of those friends being that Hogwarts was one of the most expensive public schools in the UK. But James and Lily had both worked hard to make sure their kids were down to earth and grounded.
James certainly didn’t mind that Harry dated blokes—really how could James mind, but he’d hoped that Harry would make decent choices in partners. They’d all rather liked Ginny, in fact, though it might have been slight bias that they’d grown up close to the Weasleys. But she was a strong, down to earth sort of girl and James wanted that sort in a child-in-law.
But James had to trust there was more to Draco than his quiet formality and vague disdain for commoners. Otherwise what did Harry see in him.
“He must be good looking,” James said to Lily after they’d met the boy for the first time. “He’s a complete…”
“James,” Lily warned.
He muttered a few choice words in Hindi before sighing. “Is he?”
“Well, there’s a definite resemblance to Sirius when he was that age,” Lily said, reminding James that Sirius and this Draco were cousins. Which was also a little weird, though most of the old, Aristocratic families were related in some manner of speaking. “He’s very pale though, very blonde.”
“Harij and some poncy British white boy,” James groaned.
“So long as he’s happy,” Lily pointed out.
James scrubbed at his face, then shrugged and kissed her. “I suppose so. Have to trust these kids, don’t we?”
“Yeah, we do.”
That had bit him on the arse a bit as six months later his daughter had come home to announce she was pregnant, there was no second parent involved in the future of the child, and she was keeping it without question.
“Tea’s just about ready,” Lily called.
James beckoned everyone along, Ash coming down a few minutes later grumbling under her breath about feeling sick to her stomach.
“I put extra ginger in the Korma,” Lily said as she set the massive pot in the centre of the table. “That’ll help.”
“Oh hell yeah,” Sirius groaned and didn’t wait for anyone get started as he quickly started scooping rice onto his plate. “I’ve been starving all day. Moony apparently doesn’t think we need to eat when we’re dealing with house-buying business. He forgets I’m a growing boy.”
James laughed loudly as he served his own plate, his hands going along the table to where he knew Lily always put the roti. Tearing off a piece, he chewed as he turned to face where he knew Harry and Draco were sat. “So boys, having a good summer so far?”
“Eh, could be better,” Harry said whilst Draco muttered something polite. “I haven’t got any time to practise yet, but I wanted to take a few months off anyway. Or well, at least one.”
“Mm, just don’t get high. Your coach will kill you,” Sirius said through a mouthful of paneer and veg.
“Christ, Pads. I’m not an idiot,” Harry groaned.
There was a marked silence, and then Sirius said, “What’s the matter, Draco? Not keen on Indian food?”
James licked his lips, saying nothing, his head bowed toward his plate as he listened for the response.
“Just a bit…spicy is all.”
“Spicy?” Sirius demanded. “My two year old can handle it, I think you can…”
“Sirius,” Remus said very quietly. “Enough. Lily, maybe Draco might like a bit of yoghurt to mellow it out?”
“I’m…fine,” Draco said, and James could only imagine the blush on his face.
Often James enjoyed the fact that English people couldn’t handle his cooking. For all that the Brits had colonised the Eastern world and capitalising on the spice trade, they couldn’t handle much more than steamed chicken and soggy veg. But he also didn’t want Harry’s boyfriend to be completely embarrassed.
“Try it with the roti,” James said. “Use it like a spoon. It’ll break up some of the spice, make it easier on the palette.”
There was another pause, then Draco said, “Thank you, Mr Potter,” in that same quiet voice.
James heard Harry lean over and whisper something, and Draco whisper back, and he grinned to himself and said nothing more.
The conversation turned toward Remus and Sirius’ house-buying, and the impending, official move. James offered his services minding Teddy since he had the month off, and eventually Ash begged off the dinner, and shortly after, Draco and Harry did as well.
“I’m going out for a smoke,” Sirius said once he had Teddy’s face cleaned up. “Moons, can you do bath tonight?”
“Lily, you mind?”
Lily laughed. “When have I ever? He’s got pyjamas in the wardrobe in your room. I expect you two are staying, right? No point in driving back out to Chelsea this late.”
“Well, since Haz doesn’t need a ride, yeah I think we will.” The scrape of the chair told James Remus had gotten up, and the faint protests of Teddy told James the toddler knew what was coming and wasn’t happy about it.
“I’ll join you outside,” James said as he got up. He paused to kiss Lily on the cheek before grabbing the top of Sirius’ shoulder and the pair headed out to the back garden.
They lowered themselves onto the steps, leading to the grass, and James leant back on the top of the deck, his wrists hanging off the edge of the stair. “You ought to quit that, you know.”
Sirius took a long drag, letting out a groan with the smoke. “I know. You and Moony never miss the chance to remind me.”
“And yet…”
“And yet,” Sirius echoed. “I’m glad to be back, Jamie.”
James grinned, leaning over just slightly and resting his head against Sirius’ arm. “Me too. Everything feels a bit mad, you know. Harij off to Uni after this year, and Ashima getting ready to have a baby. You three with your own little family.” James closed his eyes and breathed. “What d’you think of this boyfriend of Harry's?”
“I think that Harry likes him for some reason, though I can’t figure out why,” Sirius said after a bit. “I think at least he’s not Bella’s kid, but Narcissa wasn’t much better growing up, and Lucius is a fucking poncy shite.”
“I don’t remember him,” James said with a small frown.
“Nah you wouldn’t. He only came round during the hols and you were never allowed over. Too brown.” Sirius snickered as he ran the back of his knuckles across James’ cheek. “I’d be surprised if Draco wasn’t doing this to rebel a little.”
“Because Harry’s Indian?” James asked, his voice going a little tight. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t seen something like that a thousand times. The old, aristocratic British families were happy to have helped colonise Asia, but God forbid they mingle without prejudice. “Think Harry knows?”
“I think Harry’s enjoying a good shag with a pretty boy,” Sirius said. “I doubt it’ll last. And I wouldn’t worry too much about him getting hurt. He’s too bossy for it.”
James snorted. “Gets that one from his mum.”
“Too right. You were always a bit soft.”
“I resent that, you great pouf.”
“Says the bi man who snogged my face off plenty,” Sirius said, nudging James with his knee.
“Well how could I not. You’re so pretty, Pads.” James nuzzled him for a second, snickering to himself. “It was good, anyway. Even a raging ace like yourself had a nice time.”
“Yeah,” Sirius said, and the smile was evident in his voice. “I did. You are my absolute favourite fucking person in the world, Janesh.”
James grinned widely. Almost no one ever used James’ proper name except Sirius, and only when he was being very affectionate. It was probably the move, probably the knowledge that things were moving in a better direction in life, and that he was happy. And James wanted nothing more.
“Well Sirius Black, you know you’re mine as well.”
***
It was just gone one in the morning when all hell broke loose. And by that, he meant Ashima’s water breaking and her screaming at the top of her lungs because it was actually happening and there was no going back now.
James was scrambling into a pair of jogging bottoms and a jumper, and Lily was frantically trying to make sure all of Ash’s cases were packed and ready to go. The commotion woke Teddy who was not pleased, and Remus sequestered him in the back room whilst Sirius drove, and James and Lily held their half-panicked daughter between them.
The private birthing centre wasn’t far from the Hollow, just a ten minute drive, but those ten minutes felt like ten years. James logically knew that it would be hours before the baby was ready to come out, but his mind decided to entertain fantasies of Sirius needing to pull over, and the baby delivered on the side of the road whilst they waited for emergency services to rescue them.
But soon enough, Sirius was screeching in front of the main doors, and James was fumbling for his cane and his daughter as he and his wife got Ash through the front doors and eventually to a room.
Ash was already in the system, and soon enough she was in the bed, hooked up to monitors, working on her breathing as the first of the real contractions began. James sat by her, walking her through each exercise as she loudly debated with herself if she wanted something for the pain.
“It’s better for the baby if I don’t,” she muttered. “But this hurts. I don’t like the pain. It’s not a good sort of pain. And it could go on for hours. But there’s so many risks. Oh god. Oh…ahhh…” Another contraction hit and she squeezed James’ hand hard as she breathed.
“Slow it down, betii,” James said softly, stroking her hair. “Don’t hyperventilate.”
Ash did as she was told, and a moment later it passed. “They’re not even that close together. God, I’m going to be here hours. What if it goes on forever? What if she just never comes out and I…”
“She’s going to come out,” Lily assured the scared girl. “She can’t stay in there forever, and if it goes on too long, they’ll give you drugs anyway.”
“You mean they’re going to cut my body open to remove her,” Ash spat.
James reached out, brushing his hands through Ash’s hair. “If it comes to that, yes. But either way you’re going to be fine, and so is the baby.”
“Ansha.” There was a pause after Ash spoke. “Anna for all the ridiculous English people who are too scared by Indian names. But Ansha.”
It was the first time Ash had told anyone the name, and James grinned because he hadn’t been sure what his daughter was going to go with. It wasn’t that he specifically minded the Anglican names, really. He’d gone by James since he was at school and no one quite knew how to pronounce Janesh—and really his family’s surname had been Anglicised for so many generations he couldn’t even remember what it was before Potter.
But still, it warmed him to the point he almost wanted to cry.
Instead he kissed the top of her head and offered a massage which she absolutely did not turn down.
The labour went on for eleven hours before a screaming bundle of messy viscera and thick black hair was born. The baby was healthy, not too big, not too small, immediately cleaned off and given to Ash who was so exhausted she couldn’t do more than make a few cooing noises before falling back to her pillow.
She’d needed a few stitches, having torn whilst pushing, so the drugs they’d given her in the IV made her sleepy. Lily was the first to hold Ansha as James was still sat by Ash’s bed, holding her hand and stroking her hair, but a little while later, Lily touched his shoulder.
“She’s completely asleep and I think this one wants to meet her naanaa.”
James felt his heart thudding against his ribs as he held his hands out, and a moment later a warm, heavy bundle of cotton blanket was placed in them. He immediately cradled the small thing into the crook of his arm, and his other hand went out to inspect what he held. Soft cheeks, a mouth suckling gently on nothing, a squashed nose, and furrowed brow. Under a warm hat was a thatch of thick, baby-soft hair, and he buried his nose in it, breathing in the scent brand new life.
“I love her,” James whispered. “I didn’t think I could love something so much.”
Lily let out a small laugh, squeezing his shoulder. “You said the same thing with Harij was born. Then Ashima. Then Teddy. It’s going to be like this every time, you know.”
James grinned, feeling a suspicious wetness in the corners of his eyes, but what the hell did he care. He was holding his granddaughter to his chest and nothing, absolutely nothing, was a better feeling than this. “Yeah, I know.” He rocked the baby gently in his chair, feeling an immense surge of pride in his daughter at the small miracle she created.
***
Of course it was easy to forget Ansha was a small miracle when the colic showed up and she spent every night from two to five am screaming inconsolably. The three members of the house took turns with her, bouncing and pacing and rocking her.
In the mornings, Remus or Sirius would come by to mind her whilst the Potters could attempt some rest, and by six months the small child was well over it and starting to get mobile.
James had forgotten the hazards of having a small, mobile thing living in the house full time, tripping more often than not, and looking more bruised up than he did when he’d first lost his sight and was learning his way round again.
But he was happy.
Sat on the sofa with Ash one afternoon just after she’d got Anna to sleep, James leant his head on his daughter’s shoulder and let out a small yawn.
“So, resent me yet?” Ash asked.
James snorted. “Only every day of your life.” When she was silent, he lifted his head and turned to her. “You know I’m taking the piss. Why would I resent you, betii?”
“Well, I mean. I went and got all…pregnant. Didn’t go past GCSEs. Made you and mum go through the whole baby thing all over again…”
“You know I love this, right?” James said, taking her hand. “And I would suffer sleepless nights for the rest of my natural life for you. You’re my kid. You and Harry are…”
“I know,” Ash said, not one for mushy declarations of love, but there was a fondness in her voice. “I just…I’m tired all the time and I know you are too. But you never complain and well…just. Thanks.”
James laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead before laying his head down on her shoulder again. “Just as long as you’re happy.”
“I am.” There was a short pause. “More than, actually. Harry got chucked by his boyfriend.”
James startled in surprise. “He did? That poncy shite broke up with Harry?”
Ash laughed. “Yeah, he did. Something about Harry being too needy and clingy. I don’t know, I was half asleep when Harry rang last night.”
James scoffed. “He didn’t ring me?”
“Not entirely sure he wanted to whinge about losing his summer shag to his dad,” Ash pointed out. She yawned loudly.
“Is he alright, though?”
“Yeah. He’ll probably be by later. He could probably use a drink or three, and you probably could, too.”
Just then, a tiny cry erupted from the back room, and Ash groaned. James, however, put his hand on her shoulder and kissed her temple. “Let me. Go have a kip. And no arguing. I’m still your dad, so you still have to do what I tell you.”
“I’m a mum now, you realise,” Ash said, but it was clear she had no intention of arguing.
James rose from the sofa as Ash fell onto the cushions, and he heard her even breathing before he even reached the stairs. Climbing up carefully, James reached Ash’s room and walked to the wall where the small baby sat up in her cot, wailing for attention.
A small smile flitted across his face as his hands reached in, and he felt his granddaughter shift into his waiting grasp. Raising her she nuzzled against his neck, making pitiful noises as he bounced her on the way to the small changing mat.
“It’s okay, naanaa’s here,” he said quietly, laying her down. She squirmed and fussed during the change, but before long she was back in her clothes and dry, and making happy cooing sounds as he bounced her up and down. There was a small giggle as she reached up, grabbing his nose between her small fingers, and James laughed, grabbing her hand to blow a raspberry in the centre of her palm.
At the sound of his granddaughter’s giggles, and the absolute contentment blooming from the centre of his chest, James Potter knew that life couldn’t get any better.