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She’s in a small hole underneath father’s bed trying to feel for a stone that moves, but nothing moves, her mother is yelling and she is crying because she can’t find it, and her mama has never been mad at her before. Her mother thrusts Aegon in her arms with tears in her eyes.
“Rhaenys!” Her mother is glowing in the darkness and there is terror in her eyes.
……….
It hurts, mommy it hurts. Mommy!
“Maestar Creeley, I think she’s waking.”
“Give the girl the Milk of Poppy. Let her die sleeping just like her brother.”
……
The first time Rhaenys Targaryen’s sees her face it is weeks after when she should have died. The scream of terror wakes the guards and maestar. They find the girl shivering on the floor, glass all around her.
…….
They put her on a ship as soon as she can tolerate clothing. She doesn’t want to go to Dragonstone. She doesn’t want to go anywhere. She wants her mama, Aegon, and papa, but Mama and Aegon are dead, and Papa doesn’t want to see her like this.
Dragonstone is cold and dark. She wears a scarf wrapped around her head because there is very little hair left there, and certainly not enough to keep her head warm. It is odd speaking to her grandmother who winces when she looks at her, even though Rhaenys can still see the faint marks of silver left by grandfather's claws Rhaenys spends her time with baby Daenerys. She is the only one who doesn’t look away from her. Unfortunately, for all that she loves Daenerys, she must deal with Viserys.
“You’re not a dragon, father said so. You’ve got dirty Dornish blood. You should have died, papa should have lived.”
……
When Rhaenys is seven, she makes an embroidery for her father’s new baby girl; despite the fact that she has not seen her father in years, and has never even seen the brother that proceeded this one. She makes a dragon, a poorly stitched one but she could only stitch with the right one. The maestar said she had probably would have used her right hand had it not been too damaged by the flames.
Still, she is proud of her little dragon.
She asks the maester’s help in writing a note to her father.
Papa, I want to meet my brother and baby sister. I am a very good with babies. I help grandma all the time with Dany. I miss you, can I come home?
She stalks the rookery waiting for a reply. She finds his letter three weeks later. When he writes back, he makes no mention of the gift or her note.
…..
When Rhaenys is ten, her Grandmother Rhaella, Daenerys, and Viserys are scheduled to travel back to Kings Landing for Viserys’ marriage to Cersei Lannister. Cersei is older than Viserys and a beauty from what she reads of her grandmother’s letters. She cannot understand what she wants with her pimply gangly uncle who trips her on stairs, hits her kittens, and calls her an ugly scab.
It is to make amends, she reads in a letter she is not meant to see. House Lannister lost a son to the wildfire and Tywin has not forgiven them.
She has seen her grandmother’s reply.
“He never will.”
……
They are only supposed to be gone a fortnight. It is over three months later when Septa Morgana and Maestar Yandel arrive. The Septa has come to oversee her instruction. Her grandmother has chosen to stay in King’s Landing with Dany, so the girl could grow accustomed to royal life. I suppose I am supposed to get used to living alone, Rhaenys thinks. She dreams of fire that night, of mama, and Aeg, but it doesn’t stop there. She is burning, laughing and crying. Her skin peels off but there are no scabs, instead there are scales. She has a fever that lasts for several moons but she lives. Her dreams are never the same again.
….
She learns through hearsay, there is no letter, that she has another sister. Queen Lyanna has given birth to a second daughter. Father has his three heads. She dreams of them two perfect little girls, one white haired, one dark, and she dreams of a green fire surrounding them. The dragon has three heads.
…….
When Rhaenys is twelve, she becomes friends with the chamber maid Elba. The girl is older than her and simple, but she is also fun. She doesn’t make Rhaenys feel deformed. She tells her that she is pretty and Rhaenys feels pretty. She orders perfumes, dresses and jewels which she shares with her new friend. Her friend’s family has many troublesand Rhaenys is all too happy to give her whatever she can. Until the day Septa Morgana comes to her door with the guards. They snatch Elba by the hair and begin to beat her.
“Stop it! I command you to stop them.”
“No Rhaenys, this is a lesson you have to learn. This girl was carrying royal jewels and coins. She is a thief.”
“I gave it to her. I wanted to give something to my friend, life has been hard for her since her father died, and her sisters can’t get married properly without a dowry.”
“The girl’s father is hale and hearty and works in the stables along with her brother. She has no sisters. She has taken advantage of the fact that you are naïve and trusting, and has mocked you. I have been told that she has called you the ugly lizard girl who will pay anything to be told she’s pretty. She is not your friend; she never was.”
…..
At thirteen Rhaenys’ despises Septa Morgana, she despises everyone. Every kindness is a lie and the only person whom she tolerates is Maester Yandel, who is indifferent to her. He spends much of his time in the library, writing things to her father.
“Can I write what you found?” She asks him one day. She hardly has anyone to write to. The maestar keeps her letters to Dorne short, and Dany has not answered her in months.
“If you wish to practice your penmanship it should be no affront to me, but there are certain matters that are not for your knowledge.”
“I’ll answer the parts that are safe then. Please, I want to do something useful. I’ve already read all the passages and memorized all the hymns of the seven pointed star. I don’t see the point of practicing something I’ve already mastered.”
“Practice makes sure you do not forget what you have mastered. Still, it cannot hurt to expand your horizons.”
So he lets her and in the process she adds little observations approved by the maestar. For the first time in years, her father replies directly to her and she feels triumphant.
….
A woman has come to the castle. The red priestess is a bane on the existence of her Septa who finds the woman’s other faith and dress offensive. She has many private audiences with Maestar Yandel, and he and the woman have taken to writing to her father. Rhaenys is aggravated because she has been reading tomes of dragons and of yore, and she has so much to tell him, but the maestar will not share his parchment.
The Red Priestess, Melisandre, has usurped Rhaenys right and she can feel her blood boiling. She writes to her grandmother about what she hears. There are a flurry of letters, her grandmother admonishing the Maestar for entertaining such a woman as her, but her father writes that he will send a ship to bring her to court. Furious Rhaenys sneaks into the woman’s room, and takes whatever tomes and clothing she has there and drags it out. She dumbs them into the stables.
She is startled and frightened when she wakes at night to find the woman there, “Rhaenys Targaryen the lord of light has blessed you.”
Rhaenys can feel her knees shaking even as she forces herself to speak steadly, “If your referring to my scars that is a blessing I can do without. You have no right to be here.”
“As you had no right to treat a guest in such a manner, but do not worry you are forgiven.” She pulls out the book Rhaenys had thrown in the slop. It looks spotless. She places the book by the feet of her bed. “It is not R’hollor who abandoned you in King’s Landing, but your seven. You, Rhaenys Targaryen, are the key to everything you father has ever fought for. I have seen it in the flames you will rise above the ashes.”
“Do you think me simple minded? I am not won by fool’s flattery and false promises”
“Are they false? What do your dreams say? You looked startled little princess, your dreams are visions of what is to be. You are blessed, and to understand that you must read the works of Rhollor, and in them you shall find the key to leaving behind your scars and this desolate place.” Melisandre fades away like a ghost and Rhaenys cannot stop the shaking. “Welcome R’hollor, daughter of dragons, and you will achieve everything your father could not.” The red woman’s voice echoes in her room.
…
She begins to write to her father about her dreams of fire, scales and three eggs. He write furiously to her back. A shipment arrives from Essos a few months later, and she knows what it contains long before it hits the shores. She lays in bed with the three eggs, chasing away her curious kittens. The note from King’s Landing lays beside her bed a treasure greater than any pearls.
…
On the mainland, she travels by covered wheel barrel, but she is still conscious to wear a veil. Her eyes peak outside and as excited as she is, she cannot help but feel fear. She reads of the god of flames, but she still remembers the feel of fire on her skin and it makes her nauseous.
She doesn’t meet her father in the Great Hall. Instead it is in a small chamber room. He presses her into a hug that takes her breath away.
“Rhaenys, how I have missed you.” She can feel tears in her eyes, and her heart feels like it will burst. “Come let us remove this silly thing,” he says fingering the veil and then slowly and with care lifts it. His hand hesitates half way and his eyes cloud over. She moves away from him and the veil falls.
She presents to him the dragon eggs, and he gently lifts them from her with care. He eyes them gently, and from his expression she can tell he sees in their stony forms beauty. Rhaenys can feel her vision blur from the tears.
……
She finds Daenerys, but the girl has mostly forgotten her. Danaerys is surrounded by girls of noble birth, ladies in attendance. They are like a flock of busybody hens, who cluck and gather around the young princess and treat Rhaenys like some strange animal to her face, and are worse behind her back.
“God, did you see her lips.” A Frey girl says after she has stepped out—actually she hid behind a column-- while the girls had milk and honey on the warm sunny day.
“It is an ill thing that happened to her, it is unkind to make such remarks. “
“Really Jeyne? You couldn’t even eat your cakes when you saw her. Dress it up all you like, but that girl could make anyone’s stomach turn.” That is Myranda Royce’s voice.
At least, they wait until her back is turned.
Viserys openly taunts her, and even the guards do little stop it. “This is what happens to the Dornish when they get too close to the flame. God, you make my stomach turn. No wonder brother kept you away on that rock; I almost forgot how ugly you are. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find a husband. You’ll just need to be face down when he fucks you.”
She feels like an outsider, even when her father attempts to include her among her siblings. He has her join the royal family for supper. However, her father studies tomes, and Queen Lyanna’s forced conversations are awkward and leave her feeling cold. Behind the queens false cheers are eyes of pity, anger and guilt. Her brother, Jahaerys -- it is strange call him that because the last one she remembered died in her arms-- tries to be civil but he is not made for talking. Her sisters do not know what to make of her. The eldest, Valyria , ignores her completely and talks about horses and tourneys. Her youngest sister Alysane cannot even look at her properly, she stares at her meal, and yelps when Rhaenys asks a question.
…….
At fifteen, Rhaenys is trying to avoid Septa Morgana in the library when she finds a passageway. The next night she shakes off Sir Oswell after dinner, and steals a torch to go exploring. The tunnel twists and turns and diverges, but she has the forethought to mark her passage with pieces of her veil.
Down one corridor she hears voices that sound familiar. She turns and there is a small hole of light glittering in the space ahead. She goes forward and peaks through it to peer into her father’s private study.
“She cannot stay here Rhaegar.” It is the queen’s voice, minus the false cheer.
“Lyanna please, there is more to her than what she appears. She will be important to the future of what is to come.” That is her father.
“This is more than just prophecy, it is mercy. You cannot even look at her. When I see her Rhaegar, I know it is not right, but I see my brother and father. You heard Lord Blackwood, the girl is a reminder of your father’s madness and the blood it has shed. The court is a cruel place that is all too ready to use our children as chips in their games. I must tolerate it for my children, but does the girl not deserve some reprieve? We’ve both tried to welcome her, but we cannot overlook what her presence means.” It is the queen.
No, you haven’t. You haven’t even tried to make me welcome! Rhaenys can feel her blood boil.
She catches a glimpse of a bald head, and she can swear she can smell rose perfume. There is a passageway my princess, you simple need to find the stone that moves. The memory creeps out from nowhere, and she feels sick.
“The faith is a noble calling,” Varys’ voice crawls inside of her head chilling her, “the silent sisters could provide her a place for calm and peace.”
“My daughter has seen too much death; I would not have her surrounded by it.”
“Perhaps in Dorne, among her mother’s family,” Lyanna begins, but is cut off.
Even Rhaenys knows the answer to that.
“They have never forgiven either of you for what has happened to dear Elia. If they saw our poor princess, it would be a wound that would fester.” Varys, the slithering, silky tongued toad answers.
Rhaenys can feel her tears heat her face like silent flames.
Father, you love me, I know you do. Please don’t send me away. I can do good, she silently pleads.
“Perhaps there are other sects of the faith,” Her father begins.
……
Daenerys’ is offered to Lord Tywin’s eldest living son, the dwarf Tyrion, and the girl is bawling.Rhaegar is still trying to make amends, and the gift of his brother has hardly done much to inspire good well. Yet, it is no secret that Tywin despises the boy, and has taken on another wife, a quiet young thing by the name of Jeyne, to continue his line. Despite all this, or because of it, Lord Tywin jumps at the chance to spite the Targaryens and a date is issued.
Rhaenys seeks to comfort her aunt though they are still not close.
“Perhaps in time, you will grow to love him, I heard he is clever.” Rhaenys says, trying to reassure the girl.
“They say he is hideous and malformed. How can I love someone so ugly?” Daenerys, beautiful, blessed, Silver Princess of court, cries. The girl is young, her head says, only twelve; still, Rhaenys can’t stop herself from rising sharply and smacking the girl.
“Than perhaps you would marry your brother; Viserys is often raging at my father that you were denied to him. He despises Cersei and has been begging for an annulment. How would you like that? He is not half so ugly, except in his manners. You could live the life that your mother did before you. I remember how grandfather used to smack her and scratch in front of the court. Grandfather wasn’t half so ugly either, just the hair and the nails. He used to dig into my mama’s skin sometimes when he was angry, and grandma wasn’t there. He told me her blood smelled like shit and Dornish.” She stops herself, surprised that these memories remained. She takes a deep breath. “There are worse things than an ugly husband.” She finishes. Disgusted with herself she walks out.
…..
Rhaenys does not sleep well. She dreams of fire as she sleeps, she dreams of burning, of her skin sloughing off of her middle exposing a bloody stomach, and erupting from her a white scaled monster with her heart in its mouth.
….
Cersei L is finally pregnant, and the Lannisters are overjoyed. Golden haired twits start coming to court, and Cersei looks for all the world like the cat that swallowed the canary. She seems enthusiastic in her pregnancy, but Rhaneys knows better. Cersei argues now with Viserys more frequently, and where Viserys may have put a hand on his wife in the past, there are cousins to contend with now.
Viserys does what he does best, and takes out his frustration on those who cannot fight him. There are stories now, of whores and whisper money. Rhaegar, at his queens urging, threatens to strip his brother of any land, title and property and cast him from court to find mercy at his father-n-law's doorstep.
Viserys turns to plots, she hears it through secret tunnels, the poison that is arriving from Lys and the gift of Dornish Red.
….
Though she is afraid, the book the red priestess gave her lights the way.
…..
Viserys dies in a whore house not long after. The death is unusual. There are burns that look like hand marks all over him, and whispers of a Dornish woman.
….
Two days before she is to be asked/commanded to join a convent she goes to her father.
“I must go to Dragonstone, and I need to bring the eggs with me. There is something there that will help us father.” He is reluctant at first, but she is persistent. She shares her dreams, and he relents but the eggs must stay with him.
At night she replaces one of the eggs with a stone enchanted with the magic of R’hollor.
She leaves five days later.
The corpses of Elia Martell and the babe Aegon go missing.
…
She is aloof on Dragonstone, and where once she haunted the hallways a shrouded ghost, now she is hardly seen. Even Maestar Yandel inquires if she is all right. She looks pale, and is often sick, but through the layers of clothes he can tell she is still robust.
She tells him she is studying.
…
Ravens begin disappearing, important messages, go missing unexpectedly for weeks. The court whispers of conspiracies.
On Dragonstone, Rhaenys reads.
…
One night smoke permeates the castle, the smell of searing flesh fills the air, but the guards cannot find the source.
Little by little Rhaenys hold her skin above the flames, she watches the scars bubble up and the skin peel away, to reveal pink flesh underneath.
…
Ravens are sent out, the king has announced that Jahaerys is to marry his youngest sisters. There are angry letters, treason and poison soaring through the sky. Her father doesn’t write to her of any of this, but he asks about a book in the library that she has burned weeks ago.
…
One night, Master Yandel finds the tombs that were once the dragon rookery. There he finds three corpses: an adult and with two infants. They are all peculiar, but the smallest infant is deformed and scaled with maggots crawling out of its flesh. Among the corpses is what appears to be an egg.
The smell of searing flesh permeates the castle , but the stone hides the scream. Rhaenys will miss him, but she knows her secret are not ready to be known.
…
The shepherds tell stories of a shadow in the night, and of a monster prowling for flesh.
…
When Rhaenys is eighteen, her fifteen year old aunt is to be married. Rhaegar writes to her than that he will give Dragonstone to the offspring of the imp and his sister. This does not bode well with Rhaenys; five months later her aunt is with child.
…
The dreams grow more vivid, as do the nightmares. Even the nest cannot give her comfort. She knows what she needs to do.
…
Tragedy falls on house Targaryen in threes. While riding with her mother Valyria’s mount is spooked by a shadow and throws the girl. She hits her head and dies within hours in her mother’s arms.
Alysane dies a week later of an unexpected fever that burns all who touch her.
Daenerys goes into labor far too soon, and the child is born still. There are whispers that the babe is deformed, but not in the method of his father.
…
They do not speak of how the Lord of Spiders die, as they are still not sure if it is him. The scorched corpse in his rooms is hardly identifiable as human, let alone a man.
…
The court dresses in mourning, even the boisterous queen looks hollow and haunted. Rhaegar looks bent as if the weight were finally too much. Whispers are spreading that there was a curse upon House Targaryen.
She has willed the guards to let her in, but the noble men look startled at the strange Dornish woman dressed in red and gold in a sea of black. She wears no shroud, but there is no fear, disgust or aversion. Instead, she sees curiosity and unease. She walks to the middle of court, in the middle of grievances and bows low.
“Good King of Westeros, Rhaegar Targaryen, I know that you suffer, but I have come to tell you that your suffering is what will lead you to achieve the prophecy once foretold.”
“Who do you think you are?” Lyanna rises on Rhaegar’s left. Rhaegar places a hand on his wife’s arm to keep her still, but she shakes it off. “This is not the time for prophecy, we are in mourning and you coming here is an insult to your kingdom.”
The women in color looks pointedly at the king. “It seems my presence has always been intolerable, but still it is necessary.” There is a flicker of unease in her father’s eyes.
“My wife asked you a question, who are you?”
She laughed, “You know who I am. You can see it with your eyes. I thought to wear a hood to make it easier to tell, but I am tired of living in shadows. I have embraced the lord of light, and it is his gift that you see, but there is more that he is given.”
“I see.” He looks so pale and small, as if the words has deflated him. He sees her though, the way he’s staring, it’s as if he truly sees her for the first time.
Are you proud father, I have become strong just for you. Can you see it? She wants to yell, but resolves instead for more tact. “I once told you my dreams, but now it is time to discuss yours. Come, walk with me father.”
. . . .
He is not alone when he follows her to the catacombs. Half the king’s guard follow as well as. The queen raged at them, but her half-brother keeps his mother from following them.
When they reach the bowels of the castles, they find two sets of corpses with an egg resting on each, like a macabre nest.
“What did you do?” Her father’s voice sounds angry and she is annoyed. Some of the king’s guard unsheathe their swords. The atmosphere is working against her, and she finds she must give up her surprise sooner than she would have liked.
“Balerion!” There is a scraping sound along the walls, a clanging of stone, and he descends perfect white scales glimmering in the torchlight. The dragon flies above her. Her audience is stunned.
“I dreamed of him, and how powerful he would become, and I used to wet my bed at night in fear. I was terrified of him, but slowly you showed me through your letters that I should not be afraid. It wasn’t until I turned to the faith of R’hollor that I could finally see the pieces coming together. You might have seen too, had you not let your queen dismiss the Red Priestess.” Her father looks ready to say something, but he cannot think of words. She has surprised him truly.
“The dragons are the swords of light needed in the darkness, but they cannot be one sword. They must be paired to survive, and yet all I ever dreamed of was Balerion. I knew it could not be just me, but who else? I hoped it would be you father, but I could never see you among them in my visions. Not until I realized these eggs belong to Jahaerys and Dany. I know they both suffer, but it was what was needed. We have known all along that sacrifice was the key.” Balerion rises slowly. “I understand now why you left us in grandfather’s care. A part of you knew he could do what you could not. Unfortunately, it was not you who was meant to wake them.”
“How dare you! I never, I never wanted. ”Her father’s face is getting red with refusal and she is annoyed.
“You left us with a man who beat his queen and burned his advisers alive. A man who saw you as a usurper. You are not a fool father, you knew. I am not angry though, I know you loved us. If you had not cared it would not have been a proper sacrifice.”
Her father looks horrified and the kings guard close in their ranks, their swords pointed at her and Balerion.
“I love you, and I understand what you always needed to do. That is why I know you will help me now. “
“Rhaenys I know you have been through much, but you do not understand.”
“I do father. I understand how you sacrificed. I have sacrificed too.” She cannot stop the tears. “Father know that you are well loved. I love you, as do Daenerys and Jahaerys. That is why it must come to this.”
“Rhaenys!”
“Dracarys!”