Chapter Text
Santana groaned as she doubled checked her make up.
“I can’t believe I let you talked me into this.”
“Yes, you can.” Brittany brushed some hair out of Santana’s face. “We both know, as soon as I got Quinn to agree, you had to do it too. You can’t pass up the chance to beat Quinn at something.”
“If this is just to become another argument between Quinn and Santana, why am I here?” Mercedes asked from her seat on the couch in the green room.
“It’s not going to be an argument.” Quinn spoke up as she entered the room.
“Trivia shows are better with 3 people. It’s going to be a wide range of topics, everything from music to advanced chess strategy.”
…
Brittany had three little podiums set up on the stage of Queso Por Dos.
Santana had 506 points, Quinn 500 points, and Mercedes had 450.
“Next question, what is the first number with the letter A in it?”
When no one hit their buzzer or even attempt at a guess, instead they just kept opening their mouths as if to say something but instead no one bothered to guess as if every time they thought they had the answer it would occur to them, that the number had an A in it.
“Answer was a thousand.” Brittany read off a card. “Two university graduates, and someone who was on their high school honor roll and no one knew that answer. You all three went to church pretty regularly growing up right? Here’s a true or false for you. True or False, the Pope is allowed to be an organ donor?”
Quinn was the first to hit the button.
“Quinn.”
“True.”
“Wrong.”
Santana buzzed a millisecond before Mercedes.
“Sanny.”
“False.”
“Right. Ten more points for you. Now time for another organ question. What does the process called Phagocytosis do?”
“Phagocytosis? Can we see it written down?” Quinn asked completely confused.
“Sure.” Brittany grabbed a notepad and wrote the word down on three different sheets passing them to the contestants.
Santana was the first to buzz in.
“Something with the mouth?”
“Nope.”
Merecedes hit the button.
“The process of the kidneys flushing themselves?”
“Nope. Q, wanna guess?”
“The process of a heart chamber doing something?”
“Nope. No one got the organ. I’ll give half points to the organ.”
“Appendix?” Mercedes buzzed in.
“Nope.”
“Skin?” Quinn seemed hopeful.
“Nope. San?”
“Spleen?”
“Answer is Brain. Specifically, it is the process of how your brain is constantly eating itself. Phagocytosis is where cells envelop and consume smaller cells or molecules to remove them from the system. That’s messed up.”
“And I’ll never sleep again.” Santana sighed.
“Speaking of sleep, how long has the oldest cat ever lived? Here’s a hint, it isn’t Lord Tubbington, but he might give Creme Puff a run for their money.”
“I feel like I know this. You have definitely told me this before.” Santana groaned as she dragged her hands down her face.
“Fun fact. I have told each of you this fact before. So who pays attention when I talk?”
Quinn was the first to the buzzer again. “40 years?”
“Nope.”
“Between 38 and 39?” Santana guessed.
“I need a more specific answer.”
“38 years, 4 months and 4 days?”
“Nope. Mercedes?”
“38 years and one day?”
“Five points to Mercedes for getting the closest without going over. Creme Puff lived to be 38 year old and 3 days.”
“How old was the oldest dog?” Quinn asked figuring Brittany would know.
“Who cares in this house we like pussy.” Brittany pointed out and Santana was struggling not to double over laughing. “In this house, we also love women supporting women. So in honor of Speak Now (Taylor’s Version coming out) I have our final question. This one is worth 500 points. True or False. The song Mine, from the album Speak Now, is a break-up song?”
Santana let out a deep groan as she just slid down her podium to fall on the floor as if the question killed her. Quinn slammed on the buzzer so hard it broke and Mercedes looked concerned for Santana.
“Unless your name is Santana Lopez and you are just utterly useless at expressing emotions correctly then no it is not a break-up song. It is an anti-break-up song literally about staying together through distance, like say someone going to college out of state.” Quinn answered staring at Santana the entire time.
“Correct! Literally everyone in the world, minus Santana, agree it is a love song and not a break up song.”
“Was this whole thing just a ploy for this one question?” Mercedes asked looking between the trio.
“Yup.”
“Why?” Santana finally asked still lying on the floor.
Brittany just shrugged. “Thought it would be fun.”
“Oh it was!” Quinn agreed with a smirk.