Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Stolas sat at his desk, the last rays of light leaving the room. He waved his hand lighting the lamps, illuminating the room in a warm glow. He tapped his foot nervously; his love would be home any moment. This was what he had been planning for weeks. Loona and Via were on a fun girls' trip to the beach for a long weekend. They had the house to themselves, and for the first time in their entire relationship, Stolas had plans for their alone time that weren’t in any way sexy. Perhaps the opposite actually. Although he was almost certain that his plans may end with his partner yelling at him and giving him the cold shoulder for the rest of the weekend, that was a risk he was willing to take.

Stolas was so proud of the progress they had made as a couple. Both were so much better at communicating what they needed from each other, being more respectful of each other’s boundaries, and learning to trust one another, but Blitz’s progress had hit a wall and Stolas knew that it came from a deeply ingrained trauma from his youth.

Blitz had a hard time talking about it but, from what he shared, Stolas gleaned he had been hurt by family and strangers alike, and forced to grow up long before he ever should have. It seemed like nothing- not therapy, sex, not even his wonderful found family who have always been there for Blitz, could completely heal the self-hate, anxiety, and trust issues he developed from these experiences. 

The tipping point had become the nightmares. At the beginning of their relationship, Blitz never slept long in Stolas’ bed, falling asleep only after he was sure Stolas was and intentionally waking earlier than the owl. He said it was to get to work on time, but after they moved in Stoals began to realize this was completely unnecessary and he was often up for hours waiting for Loona to be up and dressed. Which might be fine if he were simply a morning person, but Blitz seemed to be barely functioning on caffeine and determination. 

After living with Stolas for almost a year, he finally slipped. There was no work the next day, Stolas had been granted the rare privilege of topping, and Blitz was worn out. He passed out tucked up against Stolas who, at the time, thought he had never seen anything so precious since Octavia was a little owlet. 

Later in the night, Stolas awoke to the heart-wrenching sounds of Blitz sobbing, screaming, and begging some invisible demon to stop. Stolas made the well-intentioned mistake of waking him, thinking that the sooner Blitz was away from this terrible dream, the sooner he would feel better. He tried to gently shake him awake, calling his name and Blitz lashed out, awaking in a panic, hissing, teeth bared, and tail lashing back and forth. 

He wouldn’t talk about it, wouldn’t come back to bed that night, and it was months before he allowed Stolas to touch him like that again. 

After a while, he began to sleep more soundly, even when he wasn’t completely fucked out. Which resulted in more nightmares for Stolas to witness. More fights. Less sleep on both their parts. Eventually, he began to allow Stolas to calm him back to sleep, but the nightmares and the panic attacks continued. 

Stolas had reached a point where he felt he couldn’t continue to watch his love be so miserable anymore. The sleep was unfortunate to miss, but far more distressing was seeing the love of his life so terrified and in pain. 

Stolas learned his lesson from the big talk he had with Blitz about the Asmodean Crystal all those years ago, and this time he gave his love some warning and a hint of the topic he wished to discuss. He made sure to relay this information face-to-face, the morning of so that he wasn’t left with too much time to stress about the upcoming conversation. He assured him multiple times that he wasn’t angry, that he loved him, and that they weren’t breaking up. He had just found a possible solution to his nightmares and he wanted Blitz to consider trying it. He would discuss the details in the evening so they could be completely alone to consider them. He emphasized that Blitz was under no obligation to agree, that he would never hold it against him, he just wanted to help him feel better. This calmed Blitz considerably, but he was still rather twitchy as he left for work that morning. 

“Stols?” He heard Blitz’s voice call out. His heart fluttered, and he took a deep breath before replying. 

“In the office, darling. Come on in.” Blitz pushed his way through the door, then stopped, his tail twitching.

“Hey, Stols, how was your day?” His voice cracked slightly. 

Stolas smiled, “My day was okay. I was worried about talking to you, but I’m glad that you’re here. I missed you and I always love it when you come home.” He reached out his arms and Blitz smiled, rolling his eyes.

“You just saw me this morning, birdie. You can’t possibly miss me already.” But he surrendered to the hug anyway. Buried in Stolas’ chest feathers, he took a deep breath, enjoying the scent of bergamot and cinnamon. 

“You’re a dork. But I missed you too. And..I’ve been low-key freaking out about this ‘talk’ all day. I feel so bad because I know you gave me, like, all the best reassurances and I really tried to be chill about it, but a ‘talk’ that has to be saved for when we’re alone and it’s not sexual at all, seems to be something I should be scared for.”

Stolas felt his heart glow with pride. There was no way Blitz would have said that two years ago. He kisses Blitz’s head. 

“No need to be scared, but thank you so much for being honest with me. You’ve been so incredible with that.” 

Blitz grinned at the praise, “I have, haven’t I?” He climbed up into Stolas’ lap.

“So what’s the deal, birdie? What’d you think of for the nightmare shit?” He tried to say it as casually as he could, but his eyes betrayed his discomfort with the subject. 

Stolas steeled himself. 

“Okay, before I begin, can you promise to at least hear me out? Like the whole way before you say anything and seriously consider it, please?”

Blitz frowned, “Of course, I would take you seriously. Why are you so concerned I won’t hear you out?”

Stolas laughed nervously, “Right, right of course. I’m sorry. It’s just something quite, different…that I am about to suggest. Right, well let’s get on it. I was reading about what can be done to help those who struggle with PTSD, specific to childhood trauma and, amongst various suggestions that you have already put quite a bit of time and commitment into, there was one that was unconventional but nonetheless had seemed to procure results from many individuals. Some people even enjoy the practice outside of therapy.”

“Stols…I love you babe, but you’re losing me here. Less words, please. My attention is waning, as you would say.” 

Stolas giggled. His Blitzy was so adorable, and he loved that he could now tell him these things. 

“Okay, non-sexual age-regression.” Stolas offered.

Blitz tilted his head in confusion, “Okay…more words than that I guess.” 

“Basically, you would spend time, safe and away from others, allowing yourself to purposefully spend time acting like a child until your mind allows you to regress into a child-like state of mind. From there, I would take care of you and give you a positive way to experience childhood in a healing way. Please take a moment before you say anything.” Stolas sped through the last two sentences as alarm spread across Blitz’s face. 

The imp opened his mouth, shut it again, and squirmed in Stolas’ lap. He chewed on his bottom lip as he mulled it over. 

Stolas had proven time and time again he could trust him, but this was some crazy shit. He wasn’t sure he could even get into a mindset like that, and what if he did and he became worse? What if it caused him to have terrible flashbacks in which he relived his trauma right in front of Stolas? That could be humiliating. 

On the other hand, Blitz was tired all the time. He was so exhausted and he felt awful about ruining Stolas’ sleep. The owl insisted that he wasn’t bothered by anything other than concern for Blitz, but still. He knew that his boyfriend needed more than this. He couldn’t let him do this forever. 

He pondered a little longer and decided he had some questions. 

“So, I have some things I need answered before I say anything either way.” He began slowly.

Stolas let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding since Blitz began his consideration, “Of course, darling. I’ll answer as best I can.”

“This isn’t something you want to happen all the time, right? Cause I have a job, we have two kids, and honestly Stolas, I like you and I’s life together the sex, spending time with our friends, going out, and me being a little kid all the time would kinda ruin that.”

“Oh, no darling. I meant what I said when I said that this would just be for private time. I was thinking like two days a week? When we’re alone, unless there ends up being someone else you’re okay with being there. You’d still work during the day, and you’d only regress in the evenings if that’s what you want to do.”

Blitz nodded slowly, “I’m not sure I could ever have someone else see me like that. Assuming that I was even able to get into that kind of mindset. Which was kind of my next question. How would I even get into the regression shit?”

“Well generally, it would involve a caregiver, which I assumed would be me, treating you as a child, doing things for you so that you start to slip into a younger headspace. So that could be like dressing, feeding, or just playing with you and carrying you.” 

Blitz blushed furiously, unsure about how he felt about that. 

“Okay, last question. It’s pretty important. What if, like, during this time, I end up having a flashback but I can’t pull myself out because I’m like a kid? Is that likely to happen and what would you do if that happens?”

Stolas nodded seriously, giving it some thought before replying, “That’s a very good question, Blitz. I believe it’s possible, but not necessarily likely. If you have any specific things you know will trigger you and you would like me to avoid those things while regressed I will, of course, respect those. If you have a flashback anyway, I will comfort you as the child you are in the moment. That might mean, holding, rocking, singing, talking with you, stuffed animals, and just overall letting you get it out and seeing if we can talk about it after you’ve been comforted.” 

Blitz nodded, his stomach clenching at the thought. 

“M’kay. Give me a second. I need to think a bit. This is kind of a lot. I’m not mad or anything, just- that’s a lot to consider.” Blitz reassured him, stroking his arm, “Thanks for thinking of me.”

“Of course, darling. Take your time.”

Blitz sat drumming his fingers on Stolas’ desk, tail curling and uncurling around Stolas’ wrist. Stolas felt his nerves fraying as the time wore on. This was the single longest time he could ever recall Blitz being quiet and it was making him nervous. 

Finally, Blitz spoke. 

“Okay. Can we just, like try it? And then if I don’t like it or it’s not working, we can stop.” He looked up at Stolas, clearly nervous. 

“Of course. Are you sure, darling? We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Stolas replied, gently stroking his horns.

“Yeah, I mean, I’ll try anything once. Plus, I don’t know, I really want to stop having these fucking nightmares. If you think it might help, I’ll try it.” Blitz took a breath and let it out slowly.

Stolas leaned in and nuzzled his lover.

“Of course, darling. Would you like to take a break from talking? Perhaps we could have some dinner before we talk about it more?” Stolas suggested. 

Blitz felt a warmth spread through his chest. The bird was really fucking learning how to manage him. Choices, warnings, breaks- god maybe he really was already a child. Stolas has him so figured out. 

“Fuck yeah, that sounds great.” He hopped down and offered a hand to his partner. “Whatcha in the mood for? I’ll cook tonight.” 

“Oh, maybe some pasta?”

Blitz chuckled, “Okayy, fuck. A little more specific, please?”

Stolas hooted a laugh, “Oh I don’t know, something with mice? Surprise me.”

Blitz rolled his eyes, “Sure feathers. I think I can manage that.” He smiled warmly. 

Watching Blitz busy himself around the kitchen, Stolas pulled out his journal and began to put his thoughts about their arrangement down for the conversation later. He had a terrible time letting things go for breaks before, which made them kind of pointless. Stolas had taken to writing down his thoughts for later so that Blitz could actually take his break and be ready for the next round of conversation. Emotionally difficult conversations could drain him, leaving him irritable and unresponsive after a certain point. Stolas had become much better at finding that point before they reached it and using the time to order his thoughts so that he didn’t say anything stupid the next time they talked. Blitz looked up as he added cream to his rue nd saw Stolas writing in his journal. He grinned, damn insatiable bird was already probably writing down all the little kid shit he wanted to do with Blitz. 

Okay, damn, that made him more nervous than he expected. But, this was supposed to be break time and this was Stolas’ coping mechanism and he wouldn’t be a bitch about it. He took a deep breath and turned on the radio, allowing the sounds of Wrath’s Number One Hits to Kill a Bitch To to wash over him. He grinned, dancing around as he sliced the boneless skinless mice and brought them to another pan to saute with mushrooms, onions, and peppers. He added pasta to water, now that it was boiling, and seasoned his sauce, taking a taste before turning to face Stolas and offer him a lick. 

Stolas was looking at him, hand over his beak, trying not to laugh.

“What?” Blitz laughed, “What’re you laughing at, birdie?”

“Nothing, darling.” He accepted the taste, “That’s delicious.”

Blitz smiled wider, “Thanks babe.” 

He continued his cooking, enjoying the attention from Stolas staring at him while he danced. Finally he placed the pasta and brought it over to Stolas. His boyfriend bounced up and down, clapping with little excited, impressed hooting noises. 

Blitz blushed. It was a little overboard for a meal, but at least he had no doubt that Stolas appreciated him. They both scarfed down their meals without much discussion, and when they finished Stolas cleared the plates. He entered the kitchen and began to clean all the dishes. 

Blitz peeked in, confused. 

“Stols, why are you cleaning the kitchen?”

Stolas blushed, “Well, I wasn’t sure how our conversation would go so, erring on the side of caution I dismissed the staff for the long weekend as a paid holiday of sorts. Just in case you wanted to begin, we could do so without interruptions.”

He tossed a tea towel over his shoulder and threw a playful smile to Blitz, “And since you cooked, I figured that made the dishes my job.” 

Blitz raised his eyebrows, “Oh, you really thought I was going to say yes?”

“Well, no. But I was hoping the privacy might be.. of other use if you refused.” He smirked.

Blitz flushed, “Well fuck me in my little red hole.” 

Stols giggled and continued to wash the dishes. Blitz refused to let him work alone, opting to help clean the counters and dry the dishes as Stolas washed them. 

After finishing, they retreated to their chambers. ‘Their’ had a nice ring to it Stolas thought. 

Blitz hopped up and sprawled across the bed. Stolas plopped next to him, pulling his legs into a criss-cross position. 

“So, what were you writing in that notebook of yours Stols?”

Stolas opened the book in front of them. “Should I read it word for word or just explain the gist?”

Blitz scanned the pages, trying to figure out the different organizations. “Mmm. Maybe word for word this time. Seems like mostly lists, right?”

Stolas nodded, pleased at his darling deduction. “Yes, mostly lists and schedules.”

“‘Kay. Lay it on me Stols.” Blitz kicked his feet up on the owl's lap and closed his eyes. It had taken Stolas a long time to understand that Blitz wasn’t trying to tune him out or sleep with his eyes closed. He simply processed the words better if they were read aloud and he could keep his eyes closed to avoid distractions and picture the words in his head. 

“Okay, so of the lists; the first was a list of things you might need if you were regressing. The next is a list of possible rules for when you’re regressed, and the final list has some activities that could be done during a regressed space.”

“Okay, so can we start with the activities? I kinda hate rules and the stuff might make more sense if I understood what we were going to do.” 

“Of course. PLease note that some of these would only be for if you were a little who was very young. Here it goes:

• Picking out clothes, getting dressed (only in children’s clothes)
• Feeding 
• Playing with horse figurines and dolls
• Coloring 
• Watching cartoons
• Making forts
• Naps
• Cuddling
• Playing on playground equipment
• Storytime
• Baths 
• Possible based on age:
• Bottle feeding
• Diapers
• Crib sleeping”

Stolas looked up at the imp in front of him. His face was considerably paler than when they began. He was so uncomfortable, his tail was triple-wound around his waist and his face looked like he was was tasting something sour. 

“Too much?”

“Mmhmm. Little bit.” He breathed in through his nostrils and out again. “I guess there’s no way of knowing for sure how old I’ll end up regressing to before hand?”

“Um, well not as far as I know.”

“Well..since we’re already in the awkward. Maybe you could just go ahead and do the list of stuff.” He twitched, but to his credit, didn’t bolt across the room, out the window and into his van. The next list had a real chance of enacting that effect. 

“All right, dear. Well. Here goes. Please know that some of these are optional, depending on what you need. So please, please don’t- don’t panic.”

Blitz’s eyes flicked open wide, before closing them again, nodding for Stolas to go on.

“So…

• Clothing 
• Age depending- onesies
• Clothing meant for younger imps
• Footie pajamas
• Food
• Plastic utensils
• Food designed for younger imps (dinosaur nuggets)
• Age depending- bibs
• Age-depending- high chair?
• Age-depending- bottles
• Milk (could be for any young age)
• Toys
• Pony figurines
• Stuffed animals
• Pretend/dress up items
• Cars and trucks
• Blocks
• Teethers 
• Rocking horse
• Books with puppets
• Bath toys (pirate-themed?)
• Furniture
• Possible crib
• Possible changing table (age-depending)
• Other
• Bubble bath
• Diapers (age dependent)
• Wipes
• Wash clothes and hooded towels
• Nightlight?
• Blankets?”
• Pacifiers?

Blitz tried. He really did, but this was wayyy too much. He lept up and raced for the windows, pulling on them in a panic. Stolas was across the room in an instant, kneeling down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Blitz stills and turns. 

“I’m sorry Blitz. I should have slowed down. That was a lot to process at once.” 

Blitz gulped, “You think?”

“Still, I’m sorry. I should have interrupted or something. No need to run away. This is all totally optional and voluntary, right?”

“Right”, Stolas agreed. “Although, if you do regress to a certain age, some of these may become non-negotiables for safety or health reasons.”

Blitz twitched uncomfortably. He was really having second thoughts about this. But…Stolas was trying so hard. He really should at least hear him all the way out. He allows himself to be steered back to the bed, gathering himself before gesturing to Stolas to read through his third list- the rules. 

“So, I was actually hoping we could make this list together, so I only wrote a few things. I wanted to make sure that you had a say in the rules and consequences. They’re only there to make you safe and allow you to regress so, I want to make sure you have a say.”

Blitz looked up, surprised. He was allowed to help choose his rules? That was…different. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad. 

“So these are the ones I came up with:

1. Assuming that I have your best interest at heart, when regressed, I am your caregiver and you need to listen when I tell you something isn’t safe or isn’t kind”

He looked up to see how Blitz took that one, Blitz nodded thoughtfully. That one made sense. Stolas read on.

"2. In order to help regress you faster, whenever we begin this process, you should allow me to help you with doing as many tasks as possible to help you get into a younger mindset."

He checked again and saw Blitz scrunched up his face a bit at this one, biting his lip. “Mkay. Well, I guess that’s fine. As long as we’re alone.” 

Stolas nodded and continued reading. 

" 3. We should avoid anything sexual or vulgar during these times to help protect the innocence of your younger mind"

Blitz twitched his foot. “Mkay, but I cussed a lot as a kid and probably knew way too much about sex.”

“Well, that is something we can work on while in that space. I just want to make sure your mind is protected. The next rule is for both of us as well.”

Blitz nodded and Stolas proceeded.

" 4. We will not harm one another’s bodies."

Suddenly, for no explicable reason, Blitz felt his eyes fill with tears. Stolas saw and stroked his face lovingly for a moment. They waited for Blitz to recover.

“Any more?” He asked finally.

“Only one more.

5. We need to be honest with each other as best we are able, the entire time we are in a caregiver and little relationship.”

Blitz nodded in agreement. 

“So, I don’t have any problem with those rules. I just wanna know what happens if I fuck up. Cause, as it turns out- I do that a lot and a lot more when I was a kid.” 

That’s problematic to think about oneself, Stolas thought. All the same..

“Well that was something I thought we could talk about together. Obviously, as per rule number four, I won’t be spanking you or otherwise harming your body- even if you do it to me first.” Stolas said calmly.

“Why?” Blitz furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Why what darling?”

“Why not spank or hurt me if I do it first? I mean, I’d deserve it, right?”

“No. You are a child in these, and I refuse to raise a hand to a child. We’ve managed to be excellent fathers to our daughters without ever needing to physically harm them. I am meant to lead by example, and furthermore, this is meant to be healing for you. No part of me hitting you could I possible construe with healing.” Stolas said firmly.

“Oh. Okay.” Blitz said quietly. He’d never thought of that before. 

“I was thinking it would probably better to start with time outs. Those work for pretty much all the younger ages, and then a talk about what the behavior was, why it was unacceptable, and of course your side of the story- explaining what caused you to act out in the best way possible.” 

“That’s it?” Blitz asked in surprise.

“Like I said, that’s all I have so far dear. Any suggestions?”

“Um. Well, I guess I remember getting stuff taken away if I did something wrong.” Stuff like toys, food, blankets, pillows, anything that made him comfortable or happy really. Tilla always tried to fix that- sneak him food or curl up next to him so he could share her covers until the morning. But, whenever Cash found out, he’d hit her and that wasn’t worth it to Blitz. He’d much rather go a few days without food, or being cold at night than watch his other hurt. 

Stolas considered for a moment. 

“I might consider that if it was a specific object in which you were breaking a rule with. The punishment has to make sense though. And obviously, I won’t be taking away food or anything you need, even for just comfort.”

Blitz looked up at him, his eyes wide. “For real?”

Stolas looked at him in concern, “Of course not, darling. I want to take care of you.”

Blitz blushed and curled up on his side. 

“Okay, I like that. Let’s do it.”

“Anything to add?”

Blitz thought for a moment, then sat all the way up.

“This is private, so…no telling anyone unless it’s an emergency or something.”

“Understood” Stolas wrote it down under rule number six,

“Try not to yell too much? I hated that shit as a kid.”

“Got it,” Stolas added it under rule number seven.

“I get to say I’m done whenever I’m done. And no babying in the grown-up world. Especially if I don’t ask for it.” 

“Absolutely,” Stolas scrawled it down. 

“And…I feel like this goes under number four and like two, but like I don’t want this to be a sex thing. Like ever.” 

Stolas looked at him in sympathy, “I would never take advantage of you my darling. Of course, I’ll add it. That is a very important rule.” He wrote it down and underlined it for emphasis. 

Blitz felt himself swell with love for this demon. He was truly the fucking best. 

“Okay, so…when do we start? Like do you have this stuff?”

“I can have it shipped by tomorrow, but we could start small tonight. Just cuddling and a movie.”

“That’s not much different than what we normally do, Stols.”

“Well, what if we were to dress you before, and I gave you a really cute stuffed animal to hold?”

“Stolas…” Blitz raised an eyebrow, “Did you already buy some of this stuff?” 

Stolas looked a bit sheepish as he nodded. “Just a few things. Just in case.” 

“I’m not wearing diapers,” Blitz said firmly. “If it comes up later for some reason we can talk about it, but I don’t know Stolas. It’s just too much. Especially in the beginning.” 

“Of course, Blitz.” Stolas soothed. 

Blitz sat, considering.

“All right. Sure. That sounds like a decent night.” 

“Okay, then! Let’s get started.” Stolas tried to repress his grin as he scooped Blitz up in his arms, peppering him with kisses. Blitz gently pushed his head away, laughing despite himself. At least it was Stolas doing all this. The bird had seen him through all sorts of terrible embarrassing shit. This couldn’t be much worse, right?

Chapter Text

Wrong. 

Blitz wasn’t sure how long it took most people to get into this space, but he was super nervous and didn’t feel any younger. 

Stolas had taken him to pick out clothes that he’d already purchased. There were only a few, and they were all pajamas, but Bltiz appreciated having a choice in these things. Stolas offered the pajamas to Blitz and he, in the spirit of being a good sport, selected a pair of My Little Pony footie pajamas. How in the hell Stolas had found them in his size, he had no idea. He allowed Stolas to slowly undress him, trying hard to be aroused by what was normally a sexually charged activity between the two of them and then found it significantly easier to keep his mind out of the gutter once Stolas began dressing him. Blitz felt strange as he guided his hooves into the feet of the pajamas and couldn't resist kicking a bit. The goal wasn’t to hurt Stolas, simply to let out a little energy, but Stolas raised his eyebrows at him regardless. Blitz offered him what he assumed to be his best innocent expression and Stolas shook his head, smiling in amusement before continuing on with his arms and finally zipping it all the way up.

Next, Stolas insisted they brush their teeth as though they were going to bed already. At least the fact that they had eaten before beginning this whole process meant Blitz didn’t need to deal with anyone feeding him. However, when Stolas insisted on helping to brush his teeth, he felt a little strange. He couldn’t remember anyone doing this for him. It was kind of odd, and kind of relaxing as well. Not having to do anything was a welcome change. 

Stolas insisted on carrying him everywhere to help better him regress or some shit like that, including down the stairs to watch the movie. As he passed, Stolas removed a chest from a hall closet, dipping down to removed a blanket embroidered with horseshoes, a pacifier, and a red stuffed hell horse. Blitz made grabbing motions for the horse, but honestly, that was just how he was about horses, adult or child. Stolas giggled, handing him the plush. 

“What’s her name?” He asked.

Blitz though for a moment.

“Bananagram.” 

“Excellent choice!” hooted Stolas. He loved the ridiculous names his partner had for all of his horse figurines and stuffies. 

Stolas wrapped them both up in the blanket and continued to the living room where he plopped them both on the couch.

“What do you want to watch, Blitzy?” Stolas asked gently, turning his eyes to his partner. Blitz had been eyeing the pacifier in his claws with trepidation but looked up at Stolas’ words. 

“Oh-um sh-shoot. I dunno. Maybe like, Spirit?” He normally seemed more into the possibility of watching his favorite horse movie, but Stolas could tell that he was distracted by the item he held. 

“Spirit sounds delightful,” Stolas turned on the TV and floated over the DVD to the Blueray player, choosing to ignore Blitz’s staring until he directly said something.

“Hey, Stols?” Stolas looked down at the imp who was fidgeting in his lap with some discomfort. 

“Yes, darling?” Stolas replied with feigned innocence.

“What- why do you have that? Nevermind. I don’t know if I want to ask.” Blitz’s tail curled around himself protectively. Stolas tried to not be distracted by how adorable Blitz looked in footie pajamas, curled up on his lap. This is for Blitz, not for you! He chastised himself. Still, his darling was quite becoming.

“You can ask whatever you like, sweetheart.” Stolas adjusted Blitz so his back resting against his stomach and he could see the TV, hoping to give him something else to focus on while he got comfortable with the experience. They cuddled like this often, but there was something different about having Blitz in little pajamas, knowing he agreed to try entering a little mindset. 

“Okay, what gives with the nummy?” Blitz asked, tail twitching. Stolas had to bite his tongue to suppress a coo at the precious nickname. Was that what they called it in Blitz’s family? Owls didn’t tend to teeth the way imps did, so there were different teething items for them- not pacifiers. 

“Well, the thought would be to chew on it for an oral fixation stimulation and find general comfort in doing so.”

Blitz narrowed his eyes and looked up at him, “Stols, I can’t understand half of that bul- ughh- stuff when I’m an adult. You really think talking to me like that when I’m a kid is going to make me comfortable around you?”

Stolas hooted in surprise. He hadn’t thought of it like that. Adults had always spoken to him with adult words. He sort of assumed everyone had that experience.

“Sorry, love. Force of habit. I mean to say that, sucking and chewing might help you relax and feel more little.” 

Blitz rolled his eyes and snorted, “Then just say that next time. Instead of just holding it and not saying anything and then using big, fancy, confusing a- words.” he mumbled the finish. It was incredibly endearing to watch Blitz attempt not to swear. 

“Sorry, my darling. I’ll try to do better with that.” Blitz hummed in response, trying to tune back into the movie. He tried to focus on the plot, but he kept glancing over at the nummy and biting his lip, then looking back at the TV. He felt his frustration and confusion mounting. Why the hell was Stolas just holding it? Was he supposed to just reach out and grab it if he wanted? Fat chance of that ever happening. So what, he was just going to sit there the whole movie holding onto it? He let out his breath in a huff and crossed his arms in annoyance. 

“Something wrong, dear?” Stolas stroked his horns in what he hoped were reassuring, not romantic patterns. 

“Are you going to hold onto that the whole time or..” He nodded his head in the direction of the nummy.

“Oh! Of course, you can have it, darling. I just didn’t want to pressure you. It is your first time, after all.” Stolas replied kindly. 

Blitz rolled his eyes, “It kinda feels like the whole point of what we’re doing here is to try things to like get me to re-redress?”

“Regress.”

“Right, that. So far, what we’ve done is pretty normal. I mean like, maybe the dressing me was new and this wouldn’t be my first choice in pajamas in adult world, but like… I do want to actually try Stols. But you’re not gonna catch me asking for shi- sorry stuff like that.” Blitz fidgeted with the edge of the blanket, his cheeks heating. 

“You are doing so well, dear. Thank you for trying this.” Stolas smiled warmly at him. He truly was trying so hard. He reached over to Blitz with the nummy and gently brushed it against his bottom lip.

“Open, please.”  Blitz pushed out his bottom lip, glaring at the item as though it had somehow caused him great personal harm before parting his lips, just slightly. Stolas took the opportunity to slide in the pacifier, holding it there for a moment. He looked at Blitz pointedly. Right, he was supposed to use the damn thing. 

He chewed on it thoughtfully and was suddenly reminded of the endless pen caps he chewed through at work. Would this thing be able to stand up against his teeth? Or would he gnaw a hole in it before the movie ended? 

“You’re not going to break it,” Blitz jumped. Had Stolas been reading his mind for fuck’s sake? Stolas chuckled. 

“You’re being incredibly delicate, and if that’s what you want, that’s fine but I’ve seen the way you assault those pen caps. I came prepared. This one is durable- made for imp teeth. Full adult teeth. You won’t be able to poke a hole in it and it’s still flexible.” 

“Seriously?” The owl nodded. Stolas had put some serious thought into this. Blitz began to chew a little harder and found the shape didn’t change at all. When he didn’t think about what it was that he was chewing on, he felt himself start to relax. Soon, his attention returned to the movie. Before long he transitioned from chewing to sucking. Stolas had been subtly rubbing his stomach and, at some point, he felt his mind going fuzzy. Everything felt comfy and safe.

Stolas stilled as he felt a purr rising from his partner. His tail was now wrapped around Stolas’ thigh. His eyes were glazed and he sucked on the pacifier contentedly. Blitz, if Stolas was not very much mistaken, has dropped into a little space. He wanted to check, but he wanted to preserve the perfect calm his love was enjoying. He warred between the conflicting instincts, weighing each silently before deciding, he really did need to make sure. 

“Blitzy, darling?” He spoke softly and tentatively, trying to preserve the reverie his love was immersed in. 

Blitz looked up from the TV, still sucking, his eyes wide. 

“How do you feel, love?” Stolas inquired. Blitz considered him for a moment before breaking into a wide grin and nuzzling his chest feathers.

“Stowes,” he murmured around the pacifier. Stolas thought his heart might explode. 

“Hello Blitzy. How’s my baby doing?” He cooed. 

“Good.” Blitz spoke around the pacifier and cuddled closer to him, swinging his legs across Stolas’ lap. 

Goodness, Blitz was quite young. Stolas hadn’t really known what to expect with Blitz, he honestly wasn’t even sure he would be able to regress the first time they tried this, but Blitz had proven that he wanted to give this a real try, and was doing so well already. 

Following Blitz’s lead, Stolas adjusted his arms in a cradling position and gently rocked side to side.

“Blitzy, starlight, do you know how old you are right now?” 

Blitz stared at him, eyebrows furrowed as though he was considering it deeply. 

“Two.” He said finally. “I tink.”

Stolas looked at him with deep concern. It wasn’t always the case, but it was common among age regressors to go back to the age in which they last felt safe. How many years had Blitz been feeling like he wasn’t safe? He shook himself internally. This was not what Blitz needed right now. He needed someone to make him feel safe and loved.

“Wow,” Stolas replied in a friendly, soft voice, “What a big boy you are. You must be able to do so many things by now. What kind of things can you do all by yourself?”

Blitz beamed at him, “I can! I can do forwer rolls and kick high and I sing the letters and I feed the horsies sometimes, but I guess thas ones only with grown-ups. I be by myself for a long time, but I don’ reawy like to…” His voice trails off. 

Stolas was smiling, trying to figure out what a “forwer” roll was, but found himself frowning by the end. Blitz’s confession of not liking to be left alone resonated with him. Aside from nurses or butlers, his entire childhood could be incredibly lonely. It sounded like Blitz was just as lively at two as he was as an adult, no surprise there, and he was given a lot of freedom, possibly a lot of responsibility as well. All of this made sense so far.

“Yes, I don’t like to be alone either. What do you like to do?”

“Mm.. climb ropes, feed the horsies, riding horsie with momma.” He paused for a moment. This was a hard part of regression- letting the moments of the future and the present merge together. Blitz looked so heartbreakingly confused for a moment, before Stolas pulled him closer and began rocking him again. 

“That all sounds lovely. Do you like anything else?”

“Hm. Red. Cwowns. Songs.”

“What kind of songs?”

“Hm, I dunno.” Blitz kicked his legs a bit, almost how he had earlier in an attempt to push out some excess energy.He must be feeling restless or nervous. Stolas filed away that information for later. The movie was coming to an exciting point. Stolas pointed to the screen.

“Look at that horse, Blitzy.” Blitz turned to the screen, eyes wide in wonder. As the movie continued, Stolas (who had seen this movie more than thirty times thanks to Blitz) allowed his thoughts to wander. He felt, all things considered, this was going very well. He wondered if he could even get Blitz to sleep in a little space this weekend. He wasn’t sure if it was the best idea on the first night, especially with thoughts of his momma so close to his mind, but eventually, through the healing experiences of safety and comfort, he should be able to sleep peacefully in either state. He mentally filed away that Blitz’s favorite color was the same as a child as it was now as was his interest in horses. He had more words than he expected and seemed especially pleased that he could interact with horses on his own. 

As he sat, daydreaming, he hardly noticed when Blitz’s eyelids began to close, his body relaxing in his arms. He continued to plan and envision the coming weekend until he felt something warm and wet seeping into his lap. He looked down and his heart broke as he noted the growing dark spot between his partner’s legs. He was going to be so embarrassed. He might never do this again! This was not how it was supposed to go. He thought back to Blitz’s answers of what he could do and noted that he had not specified whether he was yet toilet-learned, but of course that isn’t always a source of pride in the way that caring for animals is. 

Moving as carefully as possible, Stolas stood, wrapping Blitz up in the blanket and holding him tight so as to not jostle him as they moved. He carried the imp all the way up to their room and laid him carefully down on top of the blanket. Using his magic, he removed the clothing as quietly as possible. He could really use a proper bath, but that would require waking him up. If he were still little when he awoke, he would consider it too soon to be trusted with something that vulnerable. If he were back to his adult self, he would have to explain and possibly ruin the whole thing on day one. He jiggled his leg a bit, considering his options. He probably shouldn’t do it often, but, he probably could risk a bit more magic- just this once! Blitz needed to have his first experience be a good one and he was determined to make sure he didn’t know about this…at least not right away. He’d have to tell him eventually, but for now, he just needed to make it all better.

He raised a taloned hand and murmured soft words, letting his magic wash over Blitz, the soiled clothes, and the blanket. He considered for a moment if he would need to diaper him to avoid this sort of thing for the rest of the night, but that had been Blitz’s one wish for the evening. He already had gone a bit too far using magic and not telling him about his accident. He shouldn’t take it any further. He used his magic once more to redress Blitz and wrap him in the blanket before waking him. He really didn’t want to do this, but it couldn’t be helped. He leaned over and gently shook his love’s sleeping form.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3 

“Blitz. Blitzy, darling.” Blitz rubbed his eyes, slowly sitting up and yawning. 

“You fell asleep. I hate to wake you, starlight, but I wasn’t sure if it was best to let you sleep overnight in a little space the first time you’ve ever tried it.” Stolas explained rubbing his partner’s shoulders soothingly. He wasn’t sure how much physical contact Blitz would want after something so intimate or if he’d remember it at all.

Blitz’s eyes suddenly opened in alarm, hands trying, and failing, to subtly check over his clothing. The sigh of relief he released was audible. He looked over at Stolas.

“So…thanks for waking me. That was.. Kinda nice actually but good call on the whole not letting me sleep thing.” He scratched his head sheepishly.

“Oh? Why’s that?” Stolas asked, feigning innocence. He sincerely hoped Blitz was not cognizant about his toilet learning habits in relation to the mindset of the age he has been inhabiting. 

“Well…I mean. Ugh, I wasn’t really expecting to get that young I guess. It was.. Nice to get held and rocked and stuff but I wasn’t really, like, ahead in everything so…it could’ve been a problem if I was asleep and like something happened.”

“Like?”

Blitz’s face was on fire. He grit his teeth and flicked his tail back and forth. 

“Yeah, I don’t know that I wanna talk about that right now.”

“It sounds like it might be important… I’m not saying you have to, but if we continue this, I’d like to be prepared the best I can to help.” Stolas replying, hoping his tone conveyed genuine concern without sounding like he knew too much.

“Can I at least get back into regular clothes first?” Blitz grumbled. 

“Of course,” Stolas replied, “We can do a full reset. I’ll put away all the little items, you put on your adult clothes and get something that grounds you. Something that makes you feel like an adult. Like coffee or your phone. Maybe both,” he suggested.

The imp nodded in agreement. That sounded like a good plan. He shucked the pajamas of and tossed them to Stolas, trying his best not to look him in the eyes. What they had done was just way too intimate, and now, he was about to have an even more uncomfortable conversation with him. He needed a break. He grabbed his clothes, and for the first time in a long time since moving in together, opted to get dressed in the bathroom. With the door closed. He just needed a moment to breathe. 

Had he really done all of what he remembered? He remembered chewing and sucking on the nummy, purring, and babbling like a baby to Stolas. It was super cringey and he wanted to say he hated it and never, ever wanted to do it again, but that would be a lie. He loved it. It was hard to get into, but once he was there, it was super relaxing. But now, he was going to have to have all these awkward conversations with Stolas in order to get to do it again. 

He walked over and stood at the toilet to pee, positive he would need to go since he hadn’t been since before he left for work that morning. He had a terrible habit of holding it until he was home again, but today’s conversation had him distracted and with all the events of the day, he still hadn’t gone. After, a moment of standing with nothing coming out, his concern form earlier returned. It didn’t make complete sense because he woke up completely dry, but there was no good reason why he should need to pee after multiple iced coffees, meals, and nearly fourteen hours of holding it. Had he..? No, the clothes were completely clean. Besides, Stolas would tell hi that, right?

Not if he wanted to make sure you didn’t back out on day one, a small voice whispered. That was a possibility, Blitz supposed, but he didn’t need to push that right now. Stolas would tell him if that actually happened. He knew how much it bothered Blitz when he lied or kept secrets. He probably just wanted to give him a second to get back in his head before talking about it. 

Still, Blitz thought as he pulled on his boxers and t-shirt, he really hoped that wasn’t the case. He might not be running just yet, but if he pissed himself that was going to be fucking embarrassing to talk about. Plus, he wasn’t sure he could handle getting in trouble for that when Stolas was taking care of him. It wasn’t one of their rules, but he was pretty sure Stolas was assuming they wouldn’t need it at the time. 

He took a deep breath,letting his head press against the cool door for a moment before pushing it open. He strode into the room scooped up his phone, and pressed a kiss to Stolas’ head.

“I’m gonna go get some coffee. Be right back.” he said as casually as he could, “Do you want anything?” 

“Tea?” Stolas requested.

“Sure, birdie, no problem.” Blitz replied, his tone a bit too manic to sound truly upbeat. 

He hurried out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen. On his way down, he peeked in the living room and found that Stolas had already stored all the little items away, as promised. Blitz shook his head to rid himself of thoughts of possibly getting to have the nummy again, and opted instead to continue his pursuit of one of his new favorite ‘oral fixations’ - coffee. He took his time brewing the tea and coffee, mixing in all the sugar he loved and all the honey Stolas preferred, scrolling through his notifications as he went along. Finally, feeling a little more like himself, he returned upstairs with the two steaming mugs.

He burst into the room with such gusto that he startled Stolas from what seemed to be a preening with some magic involved. He gave a surprised hoot, ceasing whatever magic he’d been preforming. Weird, Blitz was sure he’d never seen Stolas use magic to clean his feathers before. He normally enjoyed bubble baths and preened regularly, and didn’t seem to need more than that. 

Blitz pushed the deep purple mug with stars on it into Stolas’ claws, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya Stols. What’re you doin’ anyways? Since when do you need to use magic to clean your feathers?” Stolas flushed, murmuring his thanks for the tea. Blitz sat on the bed next to Stolas, crossing his legs and taking a deep sip from his mug. 

“Well, I don’t normally, but every once in a while I like to just clean myself quickly and magic does the trick so to speak. We were going to have a conversation and I didn’t want to linger in the bath before doing so. Speaking of which, how are you feeling?” Blitz blinked at the rapid redirect. Something felt like Stolas wasn’t telling him everything. 

“Um, well, I’m a bit calmer now. I liked the overall experience. I’d probably do it again. Except you’re kinda acting fucking sketchy and I feel like I know why and I really hope it’s not what I think.” Blitz searched the owl’s face for clues that he was right about what the owl wasn’t saying. 

“Fine,” Stolas surrendered, “Please promise you won’t get upset? I wasn’t going to hide it from you forever. I just wanted to make sure your first experience went well. And, for the most part, I think we can both say it did!” Blitz narrowed his eyes.

“I’m not sure I love the dishonesty, no matter how well you meant by it, but I’ll hear you out. ‘Specially since I think I know where this is going.”

“How would you know?” Stolas inquired, sounding genuinely curious.

“Well…”Blitz fidgeted, rolling his ankles, “I was just in the bathroom and, stop me if this is too much but, I didn’t have to like, pee. And considering I hadn’t been to the bathroom since like six am, and the fact that I was acting like a toddler and then you’re being weird and I don’t need to go to the bathroom, all signs are kind of pointing to me passing out and pissing the bed.”

“Wait, wait, pause. You hadn’t been to the bathroom since six am?” Stolas inquired, incredulous.

“That feels like not the point here, Stols, but yeah. Normally only go to the bathroom at home. I go when I wake up, when I get home, and before bed. But I was all jittery and shit and got distracted because of our fucking ‘talk’ and didn’t end up going. I guess I just forgot and wasn’t thinking about it.” He sounded irritated with himself.

“That feels somewhat unhealthy, dear but I suppose that’s a conversation for another time. So, yes, what you’re thinking did happen. It was while we were downstairs. I used magic to clean you up while you slept because I didn’t want you to feel embarrassed. You regressed far younger than either of us expected and I promised you I wouldn’t put you in diapers so early on. Sorry for not saying what happened right away. I just wanted you to remember the good parts and be in a calmer state of mind before we talked about this.” Stolas bowed his head.

“Why are you apologizing?” Blitz raised an eyebrow, “It was my fault. Stupid fucking habit. I was pretty good during the day. We used to have long hours of traveling or performing when I wasn’t able to go to the bathroom alone, so I learned to hold it, but at night, it tended to be an issue. Momma used to try to help hide it cause if dad ever found out about me having any-” Blitz shuddered, repulsed, “ accidents , then he’d whup my ass.” 

Stolas felt like his hear would tear in two. His eyes welled with tear for his beloved. He’d been primarily in charge of teaching Octavia to toilet and he could never imagine harming his own child for an accident. 

“Blitz,” he began, reaching out, but his partner stood suddenly, continuing as though he had never been interrupted. 

“I know you won’t do that, but I’m not sure what punishment I should get for that. I feel like timeouts don’t really make sense, but I’m sure we could come up with something-”

“Blitz,” Stolas repeated, growing more alarmed by the moment. 

“What?” He snapped, his tone sharp and hard. His tail betrayed his true emotions, though tucking between his legs and wrapping around his thighs in fear. 

“I will not be punishing you for having accidents in a little space. I wouldn’t do that even if you were to have one in your fully adult mind.” He said with such force that Blitz stepped back.

“Why not?” He inquired, his voice shaking. 

“Because it is called an accident for a reason- you don’t mean for it to happen. Doing such a thing destroys self-esteem and can cause long-term issues with toileting. It is unnecessary and cruel and I refuse to do anything other than help take care of you and comfort you when it happens.” 

Blitz felt dangerously close to either yelling or crying. His face was hot, his eyes were glazed with unshed tears, he was shifting his weight from side to side, and his whole body was shaking. He wasn’t sure what to do with all of the energy, he just knew it needed to go somewhere. He growled in frustration, trying to reign it in. He would not explode at Stolas, he would not explode at Stolas. He was a good boyfriend, trying to take care of him and there was no need to freak out because he wasn’t intending on telling him he was a worthless, disgusting shit and then hitting him every time he pissed himself.

“Blitz? Do you need some space, or do you want me to come closer?” Stolas offered. It was sweet but Blitz didn’t know. He felt temperamental, lacking words, and oh satan was he slipping into a little headspace again? It was so quick he almost didn’t notice it. He gripped the coffee cup and took a sip, using the taste to ground him. 

“I don’t know. Come here I guess, but don’t fucking baby me right now. I don’t need that.” Blitz wasn’t actually sure if that was true, but he knew he wasn’t ready for it either way. Stolas stood, taking Blitz’s other hand and squeezing it tightly. Then he wrapped an arm around him and pulled him in close for a tight hug. 

They stood still like that for a moment, until Blitz felt his tail unwind and his breathing return to a natural rhythm. They released each other slowly, set their mugs down and shifted back onto the bed. 

Finally, Blitz spoke. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak out. Panic attack I think. I just- I guess I didn’t realize that it wasn’t normal to be punished for that. I still feel really bad that it happened. Is that why you were cleaning your feathers when I came in?” he questioned, looking guilty. 

“Yes, but please don’t worry about that. Taking care of children involves getting messy from time to time. I’ve been a parent before, I’m not afraid of getting peed on.” Stolas smiled kindly. 

“Ughhhhhh.” Blitz fell face first into the mattress, burying his face. This was exactly what he’d been afraid of. Fuck this. He couldn’t do it. This shit was too much. Warm talons began to trace his spines, rubbing soothingly. He tried his best not to relay to the owl how comforting this was. The whole experience hadn’t been all that bad, but this one part was really about to do it for him. He should probably tell Stolas that, but the thought of disappointing the bird, watching his face fall made Blitz reconsider. It was pretty embarrassing, but nothing was worse than watching the love of his life be disappointed in him. But then, wouldn’t he be if Blitz continued to have accidents in his little mind? He said he wouldn’t be in any trouble. He even said something about comforting Blitz, which seemed kind of impossible to hope for. But what if he disappointed Stolas as a two-year-old? That side of him had no idea how to handle that. As a kid, he just fucked up whoever or whatever was closest to him and went home to cry to his mom about it later. Sometimes, as he became older, he would do that more with Fizz but sometime in his adult life he became used to being perpetually disappointing and it felt exhausting to constantly crawl over to someone for reassurance. So, he just stopped. He accepted the fact that he was a piece of shit and would never be better than that. 

But then, Stolas had changed that, hadn’t he? And Fizz, after re-entering his life, had been there for Blitz more than he ever could have reasonably hoped for. Moxxie and Millie too had been there when he needed- even when he tried desperately to push them away. Loonie and Octavia didn’t need to be there for him, they were his daughters but even they had done their fairn share of bringing him up when he was feeling down. Damn. He truly had his own fucking cheerleading team, with Stolas heading the charge. Why they hell would this be any different? Of course Stolas was gonna be good about anything Blitz did in his little space. He probably wouldn’t even raise his voice at him. 

Realizing he’d been lying there in relative silence for a long time, Blitz lifted his head and sat up. Deep breath again. Damn, getting alot out of that coping skill today. Fuck yeah, therapy. 

“So,” he began, “Thanks for that. Sorry for freaking out. It was embarrassing and clearly something that wasn’t handled well by my dad so I’m kind of sensitive about it. I feel like you should know that it was something that took years to deal with. Like I was still doing that shit until I was like seven- at least in my sleep. So, pretty much any age you get me at is gonna come complete with that issue.”

“It’s quite all right darling. I just want to emphasize, that I am never, ever mad at you for that- no matter your age. I just want to help. Did you ever wear anything to help you at night?” 

Blitz shook his head. “Nah, money was tight. Pretty much anyone born into the circus was po-toilet trained really early so that the family could cut back on diapers and stuff. I slept on the groundfor mot of those years and my mom did a lot of laundry. I always felt really guilty about that and I tried to help. She taught me eventually and I was able to take care of it myself if it ever happened as I got older. It didn’t happen as often and I got good at making sure I went right before bed and tried to wake up in the middle of the night, but there were a couple of times that really sucked. Once, Fizz was sleeping next to me and it got on his side. He woke me up and was really nice about the whole thing. Didn’t even tease me, but I was fucking humiliated. I was like ten. Way too old to do that stupid shit, but we’d been cooped up all night in the tent, trying to avoid my dad. He’d been on a bender and was being a real asshole. He helped me cover it up, and promised never to bring it up again.” He took a breath, looking up. 

“Sorry, that was a lot.” 

“No need to apologize. I’m glad that you had your mother and Fizzarolli at least. I’m sorry to hear you had to live in discomfort each night for so many years. I do need to ask,” He hesitated briefly, but continued on, “Is it all right if we do take certain measures to help keep you comfortable while in your little space? If you still want to continue that is?” Stolas looked to his partner nervously.

“What, you mean like wearing diapers and shit? I don’t know, Stolas. Like part of me feels like it would be better to make things easier for you, but I’m trly not sure that I can handle the guy I love changing my diapers,” he snorted.

“Why not?” Stolas raised an eyebrow and smirked, “If we stay together long enough, it may happen either way around anyways. We’re just getting in some practice early on.” 

Blitz laughed in surprise. Damn bird knew just how to make him feel better. 

“All right, all right. But like, the whole time? Because I feel like the main problem for me was always the overnight stuff.” 

“Well, how often were your accidents at two, during the day?”

“Satan, Stolas I don’t know. I was like two! I mean, I know it happened. Enough that I remember getting beat for it multiple times. I think I was pretty solid by three. After that it was just mostly overnights.” the imp replied, picking up his ‘Horse Girl’ mug and taking another sip of his coffee.

“How about this: two or younger will be diapers the whole time and three and up will only be pull-ups at night? As you get older, you can help with the changing so you feel more independent, but I won’t make you take care of it all alone. If you need help, I’ll be there.” Stolas offered, punctuating his speech with a sip of his tea. 

Blitz mulled it over, taking another sip of his sweet coffee. “Mm. Fine, that’s pretty fair. Piss is not the kind of fluid I want to ruin this mattress anyways.” He smirked at Stolas, playfully. Stolas hooted a laugh in repsonse. 

“I can agree with you there darling.”

“So, try again tomorrow?” Blitz asked, his voice cracking slightly with nervous energy.

“I’d love to Blitz.” Stolas replied warmly, kissing his partner on the lips. “Let’s get some rest. It’s a big day.”

“Do we need to go right to sleep?” Blitz trailed a path down the owl’s chest and between his thighs. 

“I was sort of hoping for a little more grown-up time before tomorrow, if you know what I mean.” He grinned suggestively. 

Stolas’ feathers puffed out of their own accord and he hooted in agreeance. 

“Yes, I think we can manage that,” he replied breathlessly. 

The demons embraced, kissing each other languidly. There would be time for worrying about little things tomorrow. For at least the rest of the night, it was grown-up time.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

Light seeped in from the balcony windows like melted butter, spreading over the bed where the two demons lay, curled in toward each other. Blitz woke first, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He reached for his phone to check the time and saw it was already 8:00 am. Maybe not the same as sleeping until the crack of noon, but it was far later than he normally was able to sleep. He had no work today, but he expected that Stolas had a lot planned for him in regards to what they had tried out last night. 

He scrolled through his phone, sending a quick ‘love you, miss you, hope you’re having fun’ text to the girls and liked all their updates on Sinstagram. He was just contemplating getting up and going to the bathroom when he heard tires crunching on the driveway. Hopping down from the massive bed, he stepped quietly to the window, trying to avoid waking Stolas. From the balcony, he could make out a truck dropping off a shipment of unmarked boxes. Shit, that must be what Stolas ordered…his face flushed and he turned around, quickly moving away from the windows and toward the bathroom. 

“Blitz?” Shit, Stolas was awake now. He wasn’t entirely sure he was ready to start and he hoped Stolas would grant him the small mercy of being an adult for long enough to piss and get a cup of coffee. 

“Mornin’,” he offered, trying to sound cheerful, “Sleep well?”

“I did,” he hooted happily, “and, by the looks of it, so did you! Are you only just now getting up?” he added hopefully. 

“Not long, yeah. Only been up like ten minutes or so. I was just gonna go to the bathroom and get coffee. Is that okay? We’re not starting yet, right?” He wound his tail loosely around his ankle and bit his lip.

“Of course darling! We’re still going to ease into this and it seems the shipment I placed has just arrived anyway. Take your time, get some coffee, do what you need to do and I’ll meet you in the kitchen when I’m done setting up?”

Blitz nodded, relief flooding his body. He was not awake enough to deal with this yet. Pulling his phone off the charger, he made his way to the bathroom. After he finished, he headed down the spiral staircase and into the kitchen. 

It had taken some time to get used to living like this. He’d insisted upon moving in officially, that one of his conditions for living there was that Stolas treated the staff in his charge like actual fucking people. Which meant they were welcome to eat with them, had paid holidays, hours to themselves, health care, that they were referred to by their names, and that they didn’t do every little thing in the house. Specifically, they didn’t need to cook dinner every night. It was completely unnecessary and, since Blitz already knew enough about cooking that he could easily make a passable meal any night of the week. They both agreed that Stolas was only to be trusted making toast or cereal, and more recently as a sous chef of sorts, chopping ingredients and passing them the Blitz. Blitz and Loona had combined forces to help ensure that Octavia did not grow to be as useless in the kitchen as her father. She was making huge improvements and Blitz felt like he was finally able to make a connection with her in this space. All the same, they still enjoyed the option of having someone cook for them some nights, when Blitz had a long day and Stolas wanted to make sure his love was fed immediately. 

As a result, the kitchen had become a warm and busy place where they all came together, talking about their days, preparing food, sitting at the table with warm mugs, trading jokes, and checking in about the happenings of the household. It was for this reason that the silence that greeted him as he entered the kitchen was unnerving for Blitz. With the staff all on holiday, the girls on their trip, and Stolas off getting things ready (Blitz really didn’t want to think too much about what that meant) the kitchen felt cold and uninviting.

Blitz flicked on the radio to cut through the deafening silence, put the kettle on, and started the coffee maker. After draining one cup of coffee, he decided breakfast was in order and began rummaging around to pull together a quick meal for the two of them. And if doing so delayed the start time on their day’s plans, then so be it. 

He was almost finished making the pancakes and bacon when Stolas re-entered the room. He smiled at Blitz as he sat at the table and it still did funny things to Blitz’s stomach to have his favorite owl look at him like that. 

“You’re just in time! I’m just about finished,” he poured a cup of boiling hot water over two tea bags, added a healthy spoonful of honey, and handed it to his boyfriend. Stolas hooted happily, setting the mug down to allow it time to steep.

“Thank you, darling! This smells wonderful.” he pulled the imp down for a kiss. Blitz lingered there for a moment, enjoying his partner’s embrace, before returning his attention to the nearly prepared breakfast.

“Hang on a second, birdie. Gotta make sure I don’t burn the bacon. Or the pancakes.” He gave him a quick peck on the cheek before removing the pans from the stovetop, pouring a cup of coffee for himself, and serving the food. 

Finally sitting with his boyfriend, Blitz suddenly remembered their plans for the day and felt the anxiety well within him. Were the conversations going to start now? Was he going to have to get dressed or changed before eating? How long would he be expected to be in a little space? Were they starting right now? Was Stolas going to reach over and start cutting his food and feeding him? 

Nope, he couldn’t do that yet. He started shoving food in his face as fast as possible before Stolas had the chance to ask him any awkward questions or, satan-forbid, begin feeding and babying him. He demolished everything on his plate within a matter of seconds and when he looked up, Stolas was staring at him, beak hanging open.

“Hungry, Blitzy?” He managed, sounding faintly amused though mostly concerned. 

Blitz swallowed, nearly choking on the last bite. He coughed furiously before managing a small sip of coffee to clear his airways. 

“Sorry. Just nervous, I guess,” he chuckled half-heartedly. 

Stolas smiled kindly, “I suppose that is to be expected,” he took a few bites before continuing, “I am sure there are some conversations that you weren’t looking forward to this morning. Although maybe having some plan for today would’ve put your mind at ease.” 

“Yeah, I mean at least knowing what to expect might help me not be nervous as fuck,” Blitz agreed. 

“Okay, are you ready to talk now?” Stolas inquired, taking the last bites from his plate. 

“I fucking guess so,” grumbled Blitz, seeing no way to delay getting started. 

“You do still want to try again, don’t you darling?” Stolas inquired, resting his taloned hand on Blitz’s. 

Blitz was close to saying no; the whole thing was so fucking weird and he didn’t know about having any more awkward conversations. He even opened his mouth to voice just that, when suddenly he was flooded with memories of being warm, wrapped in blankets and pajamas, tucked in Stolas’ arms, sucking and chewing peacefully while zoning into Spirit. It was the calmest he’d felt in quite some time. He could stop now and never need to deal with the embarrassment, but he wanted to experience that again. Plus, last night’s sleep was nightmare-free. Well, there was no guarantee that it was because of the time spent in a little space, but he definitely felt closer to Stolas because of it. The sex they had last night was passionate and intimate in a way that Blitz didn’t think was possible. He couldn’t help but think it was partially because of the experience they had shared, and maybe even the uncomfortable conversation that followed. Sharing that kind of closeness with Stolas might, alone, be worth continuing. 

He took a deep breath. “Yeah. I do. Okay, where do we start?”           

Stolas let out one of those happy owl noises that Blitz loved so much and he immediately felt as though he’d made the right decision. 

“So, for today, it felt like letting you wake up and get your bearings before transitioning into a little space was the right way to help ease in, but after we talk a bit, I was hoping to start helping you transition into little space. We never did manage to go over the schedule ideas yesterday. Are you up to hearing it now that we’ve had a test trial, so to speak?” 

“Lay it on me, feathers,” Blitz said, moving the dishes into the sink to wash. Surely, it couldn’t be worse than yesterday’s activities. Stolas stood and made his way over to begin helping with the clean-up.

“All right, well since we now have an approximation of what age you may be when you regress and we now have the needed items to begin, I think it makes sense to start the routine in the same way, each time to make transitioning easier. My thought was we could begin with getting dressed each time. From there we could try eating as we normally do and then try playing inside or outside in the garden,” He paused momentarily, looking up to gauge his lover’s reaction. “How does that sound so far?” 

“Good, I guess. So, does that mean we need to get dressed next?” He tried to sound as casual as he could. 

“Yes, I think that’s where it’s best to begin.” He paused for a moment, frying pan in his claws dripping onto the counter as he contemplated the best way to bring the next topic up. 

“So,” he began, “The next part is tricky. I know we talked about the needs you may have in regard to toileting, and as much as possible, I’d like to protect your autonomy. However, because getting dressed is part of the routine to get you to regress-”

“You won’t actually know while getting me dressed if I need to be wearing a diaper or not,” Blitz interjected bluntly. He tried to steel his voice so that it sounded like he was talking about something as conversational as how traffic was or how much sugar he preferred in his coffee (a shit ton) but it came out a little higher than his natural voice. 

“Right,” Stolas continued drying the pan, “So, it seems prudent to make sure you are already prepared for any such circumstance, and then, if it is deemed unnecessary, we can always remove it.” He placed the frying pan in its appropriate cupboard and turned to the imp to check his reaction. His cheeks were flushed, the white scarring making it especially visible. 

“Sure. Just, I might not have drank all that coffee if I knew for sure we’d be doing that,” Blitz finished washing the last plate and handed it to Stolas to dry. He shifted uncomfortably, crossing his arms self-consciously. 

“Well, there’s no guarantee it will happen. This would be more like a safeguard,” he reassured, drying the last plate and putting it away. “Why don’t you try using the bathroom once more before we get you dressed? That should at least give you some extra time,” Stolas offered, helpfully as he closed the cabinet. 

Blitz bit his lip. He had a feeling it wasn’t going to do much good since he’d already gone not long ago, but he nodded and began to trip back up to their room. At least while he was regressed, Stolas might carry him up and down these tall-ass stairs. He always felt like just navigating this huge house was a workout in itself.

After trying and confirming to his displeasure that he really didn’t need to go at this moment, he re-entered their room and was suddenly plagued by a thought. Stolas had mentioned something about a crib the night before. And there wasn’t one in there. In fact, there seemed to be no new additions to their bedroom.  Does that mean he had decided against it, or was he moving Blitz to an entirely different room in the palace? The thought of being away from Stolas for the night made his stomach clench. He had grown accustomed to the sounds of gentle hooting and the touch of soft feathers when he slept and he was not ready to give that up. 

Just as he was thinking about that, Stolas entered the room. Where had he been? The imp’s anxiety spiked, thinking his fears were confirmed. Of fucking course, who would want to sleep with a kid in their room if they had a choice? Growing up, they all shared the same floor space, but he was pretty sure that it was because his father was a cheapskate. As soon as he could, he forced Blitz, Barb, and Fizz into their stacked hammocks in a storage tent and took back his space with Tilla. Blitz hated not being near his mom, and insisted on sleeping in the bottom hammock- just in case. That one time they slept on the floor with Fizz was an anomaly of sorts because they were hiding out in the nearest tent they could find, the one that housed all the animal supplies. There was only floor space and tarps for blankets that night. But for a demon with all the space in the world, it made sense to want to have a whiny kid in another room so they could get some decent sleep. 

“Blitz, are you all right?” Stolas rushed to his side, and only then did Blitz realize he was shaking. He tried to calm himself, tail wrapping around his waist as he took deep breaths again. He figured he should explain but he began by asking his questions.

“Why isn’t the stuff you got in here? I thought you went to unpack it earlier. Did you not finish?” 

Stolas blinked, “Oh, no I moved it all into another room more private than ours.”

“Oh,” Blitz felt small already, but not in a good safe way. He pulled his tail tighter as tears gathered in his eyes. He would not be a pussy and cry about it. Stolas was going to be in charge of this and he would do as he was told and sleep where Stolas wanted him to and be grateful for it. He was not going to cry about it. Absolutely not. 

“Blitz, darling? What’s the matter?”

“It’s fine Stolas. I’m good. Where’s this room?” He replied gruffly. The owl peered at him for a few moments, then deciding not to push it, offered him a hand and began to guide him, through the hall, down some back stairs, out to the garden, past a gate, down a small pebble path, and to a small cottage. 

What the fuck? Was Stolas planning on leaving him in a whole different building when they slept? This was so unfair. He didn’t want to do this anymore. He was about to give up when a horrible thought entered his mind. What if this was where he was headed either way? If he couldn’t get his nightmares under control, he might be banished here anyway so Stolas could get some rest. At least this way, there was a possibility of getting to sleep in their shared bed a few times a week and the possibility it may not last forever. He didn’t like either option but push come to shove, he could do this. 

Stolas unlocked the door with a small key that Blitz hadn’t noticed was dangling around his neck. Was he going to be locked in as well? This seemed really extreme. Maybe it was something they did in Goetia families to build independence. But, no, Stolas was horrified to find out he’d been punished for fucking up in potty training so there was no way he was like that. But then why?

He stepped inside and was greeted by a small, but warm living room and eat-in kitchen. There were two toy boxes and a rocking horse that appeared large enough that he might actually be able to ride it. The eat-in kitchen looked normal enough aside from the oversized high chair at the table. 

Stolas continued to give him a guided tour, babbling nervously the whole time. He walked them down a hall gesturing to a linen closet, a bathroom with a large tub, and, finally, into what appeared to be a large nursery. There was an oval rug embroidered with horseshoes around the edge, a mural featuring silhouette horses riding off into the distance, a dresser, a changing table (Blitz tried not to cringe at that), and a large bed, probably the same size as what they already slept in each night, surrounded by crib bars with several different stuffed animals in the center of a deep red quilt. Stolas had been chattering happily, but Blitz had been too distracted trying to take in all the details, so he only caught the last bit of what Stolas was saying,

“ and so, ultimately I decided that we’d get the best sleep possible by co-sleeping. After all, I don’t need to worry about smothering you. Just the railing to keep you from falling out.” He spun and faced Blitz, a wide grin stretching across his face, “So, what do you think?”

“So, does that mean we are going to sleep together still?” Blitz asked, trying to sound as though it didn’t matter either way to him.

“Of course! You didn’t think I was making you stay in this place by yourself, did you?” Stolas hooted chuckling. He stopped dead when he caught the blush spread across Blitz’s face.

“Oh my Satan, you did ! You actually thought I’d leave you in such a vulnerable state in a house alone and far away from me? I would never do that to you. Besides, I’m not certain I could sleep without you anymore. I’d miss you too much.” He smiled and took Blitz’s face in his other hand. A wave of relief washed over the imp. 

“Good. I’d miss you too.” the imp replied. Stolas cooed, pressing a kiss to Blitz’s cheek, right on the scarred part. 

“All right, if you’re ready, let’s start getting you dressed,” Stolas said scooping him up. He looked at Blitz to check that he was still on board.

“Hold on. Let me get all the cussing out of my system first,” Stolas raised an eyebrow at him.

“Fuck, shit, damn, cunt, bitch, ass, whore, slut, bastard, asshole, son of a bitch, fuck, fuck, fuck! ” He smiled in satisfaction.

“Okay, ready now. Let’s do it.” Stolas rolled his eyes but smiled good-naturedly as he carried Blitz over to the dresser to pick out some clothing. He laid out three choices of onesies. One featured a red car driving along a race track, another featured a circus tent (Blitz raised an eyebrow at that one. Was Stolas serious about this?), and the clear winner, featured a horse rearing up onto its hind legs that read Wild and Free. Blitz was almost certain he actually owned a t-shirt that had the same design. He picked it up and Stolas put the others away, complimenting his choice as he had the night before. Stolas picked out a pair of dark blue shorts that complimented the shirt and held them up for Blitz’s approval. He gave it a weak thumbs up, still unsure how he felt about a onesie, and even more apprehensive about where they were headed next. 

Stolas walked them over to the changing table and sat Blitz down on the mattress topper. He felt his insides squirm in discomfort and something akin to fear. He had been undressed in front of Stolas countless times, but this wasn’t going to be like this. He kicked his feet a bit, swinging them back and forth over the edge. It was certainly large enough for him and he found himself wondering how many other demons engaged in this sort of thing. There had to be a store or something that Stolas bought this from, which meant, he reasoned, that there was someone, somewhere using the same item. Maybe it wasn’t so strange. 

Stolas broke the quiet that had overcome the room by flicking his hand to a radio that Blitz hadn’t noticed immediately. It began to play music and Blitz immediately felt a bit more comfortable with the background noise. 

“All right darling, let’s start by taking off your clothes,” Stolas said cheerfully, “I’m going to help you now.” He reached slowly toward Blitz and began to pull off his shirt and boxers and floated them over to a hamper in the corner of the room. 

“All right, that’s done. It’s time to try diapering. It’d be better to lie down for this part, dear.” He voiced it gently, conversationally, almost like a suggestion, like he had a choice. Blitz felt overcome with the discomfort, but he reminded himself that he had a choice. He could say no. Stolas wouldn’t be angry. He breathed in, out again, and laid down. Above him, just within his grasp was a mobile of horses and shooting stars. He tried to focus on the shapes above him to distract himself from what Stolas was doing. 

“Very good, darling,” Stolas complimented as he reached into a basket and pulled out a diaper. “I’m going to lift your hips and slide this under you. Then we need to secure this snap above your tail.” Stolas explained slowly and calmly, as though he did this sort of thing every day. 

Blitz couldn’t bring himself to respond. He squeezed his thighs together protectively and nodded, staring up at the mobile and trying hard to focus on its spinning as Stolas lifted his hips effortlessly and snapped it into place above his tail. When he lowered his hips, Stolas paused for a moment, to check in and saw Blitz staring intensely at the mobile.

“Do you like that, firecracker?” He asked touching one of the horses lightly to make it spin. Blitz shrugged, not sure how he felt about having this conversation while his soft dick hung out and he was half wearing a diaper. Stolas, realizing his discomfort refocused his efforts into getting Blitz dressed. He needed to be patient and take things slow, but the sooner he could get Blitz comfortable, the better.

“All right, almost finished with this part. I just need to bring the front up,” he narrated as he did so, “And close the side tabs,” he added as he completed that step, “And now we can get dressed.” 

Blitz nodded, wriggling a bit to adapt to the new sensation. It wasn’t terrible, but he cringed at the crinkling sound it made. Stolas began the dressing, occasionally asking Blitz to help him by moving a bit, narrating each step as he prepared to take it. 

“And…all done!” He scooped Blitz up again, walking toward the door now, “Don’t kill me, love, but…you look so cute right now!” 

Blitz’s face flushed. Was this owl fucking serious right now? He was not cute. He growled, lashing his tail back and forth. 

“Sorry, darling,” the owl replied, not looking sorry in the least. He walked into the living room and sat down on the floor with Blitz. 

“I was thinking it might be fun to play next. We didn’t get to do that last time, but you’re so imaginative, I don’t see it being much of a stretch for you.” Blitz smiled at the subtle compliment.

“Okay, sure. What should we play?” He was trying not to sound too excited about it, but he loved having Stolas’ undivided attention. Plus he was good at coming up with stories. 

“Why don’t you go look in those toy boxes and see if there’s anything you like?” Stolas suggested, crossing his ankles and leaning back on his palms. 

“M’kay,” Blitz reached into the nearest bin and his eyes widened as he found to his surprise a whole collection of blocks, horse figurines, plastic fences, small buildings, and tiny demons as well. He’d never seen so many toys in one place his whole life. Blitz’s family didn’t really do toys for him and Barb. They both had the same stuffed horse from birth, but other than that, they entertained themselves by playing outside, using rocks and sticks and other such objects in place of the real things. 

“What is it darling? Nothing you find interesting?” Stolas looked a bit worried, “I could always find something else.”

“No,” Blitz said, a bit sharper than he’d meant to. “No, I mean. This works great. We didn’t really have a lot growing up so… This is just more than I’m used to, but it’s a good thing. It’s nice.”

“Oh!” Stolas hooted, happily, “I see. Well, I’m glad I was able to provide for you. Did you pick out something to do?”

Stolas’ words rubbed him slightly the wrong way; it wasn’t like there was a lack of trying to provide for him that had occurred in his family. To their credit, they had tried their asses off to provide, but still barely could afford the bare necessities. They weren’t like Stolas’ family, who could buy him whatever he wanted. Although, Blitz reminded himself, he at least had Barb and Fizz and Momma and all the other people at the circus. There were always plenty of other children to play with and lots to do during the day. At least at that point in his life, he hadn’t been lonely. The prince may have had all the toys and books he could want, but his life had always been lonely. 

Finally, Blitz began pulling out a few of the toy horses, some buildings, and fences.

“Let’s use these and make a town. But it’s run by the horses like My Little Pony- no demons.” 

“Okay!” Stolas agreed, delighted, “Where should we begin?”

“Umm, well I think all the horses need names and backstories.”

Stolas nodded seriously. “Absolutely.”

He lined them up and asked Blitz to name each one and tell him about the horse. 

“That one’s Cherry Bon Bon. She’s a firefighter and a lesbian. Her wife is that one,” Blitz gestured to a yellow horse, “Lemon Merry and she’s a librarian so she likes to read and stuff.” 

Stolas hooted in amusement. “Should they have a home together?”

Blitz nodded, “Of course. They’re married.” He selected a house and placed the two horses in front of it. 

The game continued like that for a while, Blitz becoming increasingly excited and animated as it continued. After a while, he felt himself slipping into a pleasant, warm feeling. He was completely engaged in their games, and Stolas noticed Blitz’s vocabulary dropping and speech slurring slightly. They continued to play until it was nearly lunchtime.

“Blitzy?’ Stolas nudged him gently, “I believe it’s getting close to lunch. Are you hungry?”

Blitz looked up from Mint Chip and Hammerhead the repair ponies and tilted his head. 

“Yeah,” he responded, attention returning to his ponies. 

“Anything special you want to eat?” Blitz shrugged. He was busy playing, food was food. 

“Okay, firecracker. I’ll let you get back to it soon. Just one more question. How old are you right now?” 

Blitz stuck his hand in his mouth and began nibbling on his fingers, responding around them, “I two.” 

“I see. Okay big boy, I’m going to cook lunch. You can keep playing here if you like until it’s ready.” Stolas kissed the top of his head softly and stood to go to the kitchen. 

“Mkay Sto,” Blitz responded, making the horse figurine in his other hand gallop  through the air. Stolas felt like his heart might explode from the cuteness. 

In the kitchen, fixed a quick lunch of dinosaur nuggets (made from real hellasaurs!) carrots, and green apple slices. When he re-entered the living room, he saw Blitz topple head over heels in what appeared to be a somersault. He giggled in delight and rushed to Stolas. 

“Sto, you see? You see me forwer roll?” Blitz bounced up and down, grinning like a maniac. Understanding from the previous night dawned suddenly on Stolas. 

“I did see! Excellent forward roll, darling,” he complimented, “Though maybe next time we try it outdoors? Where there’s more space.” It made him slightly nervous to have Blitz attempting gymnastics inside where he could fall into something and get hurt. 

“Kay,” Blitz said, but he seemed to not fully recognize what was being said. 

Stolas resigned himself to being more specific about the safety rules when Blitz was big again.

“Lunch is ready,” he informed Blitz, who was currently slithering across the floor like a snake. 

“Aww,” Blitz complained. He had been pretending to be a spy on a super-secret mission and really wanted to continue. Stolas smiled.

“We can play a bit more after lunch and before a nap.” Blitz frowned at that but got up and followed Stolas to the dinette table. Stolas realized that they hadn’t really made it that far in the schedule. They also hadn’t determined how often Stolas might need to check or change the diaper her was wearing. If it had been his own child, he would check before lunch but as it was Blitz and he had said that he was almost completely toilet-trained by this age, he decided not to push it. Instead he offered the imp the chance to use the toilet before eating. Blitz shook his head, and Stolas frowned. By now, his habits were so deeply ingrained, it might take weeks or even months to get him into a more regular toileting schedule. Still, he wasn’t going to push it. It wasn’t his job to toilet train Blitz, he already knew how to take care of his needs as an adult. The regression was meant to be healing and relaxing, learning a new skill during it might not be the most conducive to those feelings. 

Stolas helped Blitz up into the high chair and offered him the plate of dinosaur nuggets, fruit, and carrots. For all his complaining, Blitz was evidently starving because he shoved food into his mouth as though it was going to be taken from him. Stolas was hoping for the opportunity to feed him, but he supposed it was quite normal for a two-year-old to self-feed. 

When he was finished, Stolas helped him down and Blitz returned to the living room to play while Stolas finished the dishes. This was honestly going quite well. Blitz was having fun, no flashbacks, and he’d stayed regressed the whole time. Stolas overall was feeling reassured that they’d made the right choice. 

Meanwhile, in the living room, Blitz was in the middle of setting up a store for his horses to buy oats and apples from when he felt an intense, sudden need to pee. He looked around for Stolas, but didn’t see where he’d went. He couldn’t remember where the bathroom was, but he knew there was a potty nearby. Stolas had offered him the chance to go but he wanted to be done with lunch and go back to playing as soon as possible. Should he go look for Stolas, or look for the potty on his own? If he found Stolas and asked, would he be mad that he didn’t go before? He was probably busy and that’s why he couldn’t find him. His dad used to hate it when Blitz came over to him when he was busy. 

Not wanting to be in any trouble, Blitz set off to find the bathroom. He walked into the hallway, but before he could take more than a few steps, he could feel his bladder release. Wetness soaked the diaper, and he felt a wave of relief knowing it wouldn’t be all over his clothes or the floor, followed quickly by shame and panic. He felt tears welling in his eyes. Now Stolas would think he wasn’t big enough to not wear diapers during the day. He had offered Blitz the chance to go earlier and he hadn’t taken it. Now Stolas was going to hate him so much. Blitz didn’t think he could handle it if he did. 

Tears streaming down his face, he contemplated what to do. He could always try to change it himself. It couldn’t be that hard, right? He just needed to find the nursery he was in before and he could figure it out from there. Then Stolas would never know! He hurried down the hall, opening the door to the linen closet by mistake the first try, but on the second try, he succeeded. He walked in and clambered over to the changing table, pulling out the drawer with all the diapers. They spilled all over the floor but, it was fine. He just needed to get the one and he could worry about that after. 

Next, he needed to get his clothes off. He managed to pull the shorts off but struggled to undo the snap around his tail. When he came to the onesie, he looked down, baffled by the snaps. He attempted to separate them, but found his hands to be much more clumsy than his adult ones. He could see the diaper poking through, full and soaked. The more he struggled, the more frustrated and uncomfortable he became. 

His frustration was at an all-time high, growling and sobbing at the same time when Stolas, who had since discovered he was missing entered the room.

“Blitz?” he looked over at the situation and immediately understood. He felt his heart break as he saw the other demon so desperately trying to take care of the wet diaper himself. 

Blitz looked up and his frustrated scowl was suddenly replaced by an expression of pure fear. He crawled behind a rocking chair in the corner and sobbed hysterically. 

“Sowee. Sowee. Sowee so so sowee, Sto,” he bawled helplessly. Stolas crossed the room and knelt right before the rocking chair.

“Blitzy, darling it’s okay. I’m not mad at you! Everything is okay.” 

“‘S not okay! I not go to potty when you say. I assiden.” Stolas felt his heart lurch, somehow Blitz was sounding like a younger two than how he began. If he didn’t calm him soon, he might revert into infancy. It wouldn’t be terrible in general to regress that far, but certainly not when he was so upset.

“I know love, but it was still an accident. You didn’t mean for it to happen, and I am in no way mad at you.” Stolas reassured him, speaking slowly and gently. Blitz sniffled and peeked his head out. 

“Were you trying to change your diaper all by yourself?” Stolas asked softly.

Blitz blushed and hid his face. He’d done a terrible job of it. “Yeah. I fix an you no be mad.”

“I’m not mad. We do need to change you though. Will you come out and allow me to help you finish?” Stolas extended a taloned hand, and Blitz flinched on instinct. Stolas kept his hand still, allowing Blitz to slowly reach for it himself and be led out of the corner. Once he was out, he dropped his hand to cover himself in the front, his face flushed and eyes watery still. 

“Good boy! Thank you for coming out,” Stolas praised him. To his dismay, Blitz began to cry more at that. 

“I not good.” He sobbed, “Bad. Always bad. Dad says.”

Stolas couldn’t help but feel a surge of anger for Cash. He really twisted Blitz’s mind early on. It was no wonder that Blitz ended up the way he was. He was terrified to learn about what else Cash may have been responsible for. But now was not the time to be angry with alcoholic asshole fathers, far away and never returning. Now was the time to make it right by being everything he hadn’t been for Blitz. He pulled Blitz into a tight hug and began rubbing his back, soothingly.

“No, firecracker. Your dad is very wrong. You are so good. You had an accident, which was not your fault, and you came here and tried to fix it all by yourself. You are very clever and brave for even trying to do this alone, but I’m here now and I want to help you. Will you allow me to help you please, darling?”

Blitz sniffled, trying to regain his breathing but nodded his head.

“‘Mkay Sto.”

Stolas kissed the spot right between his horns and picked him up, laying him on the changing table. Blitz squirmed and attempted to cover himself in shame, but Stolas reached up and touched the mobile, making it spin. To older Blitz, it wasn’t much of a distraction, but to little Blitz, it was like real magic. He reached for it and batted at the horse above his head, watching it spin in fascination, bringing his hands to his mouth to suck. Stolas shook his head at his own foolishness. The object from the night before that finally lulled Blitz into little space was the one thing he’d forgotten to present while getting Blitz ready. He reached into a separate drawer and pulled out a pacifier with a strap. He snapped it on Blitz’s onesie and teased his mouth open, brushing it along his bottom lip. 

“Nummy?” Blitz asked, disbelievingly. He loved these but his dad threw them all out. Said he was too big.

“I has?” He asked, hesitantly reaching out for the pacifier. 

“Of course, darling. For you,” Stolas replied, adoringly and placed the pacifier into Blitz’s open mouth. He began to suck, immediately his body relaxing as well. With Blitz relaxed and distracted, Stolas was able to unsnap the onesie, open the diaper and slide it out without Blitz even moving. When he began to clean him with a wipe, Blitz jerked at the cold, scrunching up his legs almost subconsciously. Stolas gently pushed them down and finished cleaning before throwing the wet diaper and wipe away. He guided Blitz’s hips up and was careful taking his tail through the snap for the diaper and the onesie. He found the shorts on the floor and scooped them up, sliding them up Blitz’s legs and over his waist, before finally securing the last snap for the shorts. He really wasn’t used to all this imp clothing and the many adjustments for horns and tails. 

At this point Blitz was rubbing his eyes, yawning around the pacifier. It was nap time, Stolas decided. 

Picking up his darling he crossed the room to the rocking chair Blitz had hidden behind earlier and began to slowly rock them back and forth, humming along with the radio he’d left on earlier. Blitz began to make soft cooing noises tucked up in the crook of Stolas’ arm, and his tail wrapped around Stolas’s waist. When his eyes were fully shut, his body began a rumbling purr that warmed Stolas’ heart. 

He looked down to check and, sure enough, Blitz was asleep. 

Stolas carried him to their bed, lowering the crib bars with magic and climbed in carefully. He tucked them both in, raised the bars the same way he’d lowered them, and opened his phone to scroll through while his love slept. He was sorely tempted to take a picture of him curled up all sweet and cute, but he had a feeling he’d better ask first when Blitz was big. He settled instead for watching his love sleep peacefully for the second time in a row. After a while, Stolas felt himself drifting too and, before long, both demons were sound asleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

Blitz woke first, but he kept his eyes shut, trying to adjust to being back. He could remember most of what happened, and he trusted Stolas would fill him in on anything he missed, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with that yet. He shifted slightly and noticed with a twinge of discomfort that he was in a wet diaper. He’d known that was a likely possibility, but being faced with it in his adult mind was overwhelming. He felt the shame and disappointment in himself well up. Stolas had been right and he was going to end up having to deal with being changed every time he went into his little space. He cringed internally at the thought. 

Or, he thought, the idea coming suddenly, he could simply dispose of the evidence and crawl back into bed. If he managed it without waking Stolas, he could reason his way out of needing it every time. Although, that would mean lying to Stolas. 

Well, not really lying . It wasn’t lying, just leaving something out. Misleading. Hiding. Okay, this felt a lot like lying, but wasn’t it better than trying to make Stolas change him forever? 

His mind made up, he carefully cracked one eye to confirm that Stolas was still passed out next to him. He rolled as quietly as he could, activating assassin skills that in this situation felt almost laughable. Blitz crawled across the floor, noting that there were diapers strewn all over the floor. Weird , he thought, picking one up and stalking silently to the bathroom. 

He locked himself in, quickly ditching the shorts and onesie. Looking down, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. It was too much, too much vulnerability. He wasn’t sure he was going to make it through another one of these. He didn’t want to let Stolas down and it had been fun to play with Stolas once he got into it. He just wasn’t sure about the rest. He steeled himself and wondered if it was possible to get the damn thing off with his eyes closed, because honest to Satan he couldn’t look at himself right now. He felt disgusting. It was fucking embarrassing. The nice warm little feeling from earlier had dissipated, replaced by more familiar feelings of self-loathing and humiliation. 

Screwing his eyes up, he felt around the waist for the two sticker tabs. After a few tries, he managed to remove them. The rip of the stickers echoed in the quiet and Blitz had to bite his tongue to prevent himself from cursing. He dug around in the cabinets a bit, trying to locate a washcloth. Finding one, he ran it under warm water and did his best to clean himself. 

Next, he went about trying to re-diaper himself. This part was especially tricky, but necessary if he meant to deceive his partner. Which, while he didn’t really want to do that, he couldn’t allow Stolas to deal with this. After fumbling to get his tail through the loop in the back, he decided that laying on the floor was the best course of action to close the tabs. Remembering Stolas’ earlier change while trying to get into little space, he pulled the front over himself and closed the tabs. He shifted slightly. The effect wasn’t quite as comfortable as what Stolas had achieved, but it would have to do. Besides, it was only tempor ary. 

He struggled a bit more getting the onesie and shorts back on and by the time he did so, he was feeling the pressure of time. How long before Stolas woke to find him gone and went looking for him? He hastened to dispose of the diaper in the trash can and throw the washcloth in the tub. As stealthily as possible, he crept out of the bathroom and was just pulling himself into the bed when Stolas’ eyes opened. 

“Good morning, darling. Are you big again?” Stolas hooted softly, as he stretched out his long legs.

Blitz nodded, unsure he could trust his voice to stay steady while hiding the accident from his partner. 

“How are you? Do you need a moment to yourself to get back into adult clothes?”

Blitz could’ve smacked himself. It was all unnecessary. He’d forgotten their agreement to give him space when he returned to his adult mind. He could take care of any accidents himself and, embarrassing as that was, Stolas wouldn’t need to deal with it, or even know. He felt guilty, knowing he went to such lengths to trick Stolas when his partner was already prepared to give him space. 

He still couldn’t bring himself to say anything, so he simply nodded in response, retrieved his adult clothing from the laundry basket, and hastened back to the bathroom. He changed clothes easily now that he didn’t need to be secretive about it and was a bit more practiced with the snaps. Once back in his grown-up clothing, he washed his hands and splashed cold water on his face. 

He needed the taste of coffee, he needed his phone. Did he have those items here? He couldn’t remember where he left his phone. Panic overtook him as he considered all the many ways he was losing his independence and, quite possibly, his mind. A knock at the door startled him.

“Darling, I have your phone and some coffee ready for you in the kitchen when you’ve finished,”Stolas’ voice was soft, barely carrying through the door and Blitz’s heart warmed. His bird was so thoughtful. He loved him so much. 

Then it sank, just as quickly, remembering that he was being dishonest with Stolas. It had hardly been a few minutes of deceit and he had no idea how he was going to keep it up. How the hell do people have months, even year-long affairs? Blitz figured they must not be as in love as he was with Stolas.

The imp opened the bathroom door and peeked into the deserted hallway. Stolas must have been waiting in the kitchen. Blitz shuffled nervously to the bright living area, tail down and spade pointed between his ankles. He knew Stolas would clock the shame right away but, hopefully, he would see it as a general “I’m uncomfortable because of what we just did and this whole thing is new to me” and not a “I’m hiding something from you even though it’s probably stupid and I’m afraid of being caught” because Blitz wasn’t sure how he’d deal with the feeling of hurting Stolas. He’d been on a pretty good streak of being good to Stolas and he didn’t want to backtrack to where they once were.

Blitz stepped into the kitchen, silently admiring Stolas. His feathers shone, glossy in the warm afternoon light. He sat, head bent in concentration, quill scratching rapidly across the parchment of his worn journal, beak moving wordlessly along with the motion. The glow of magic surrounded a silver spoon, rotating in slow, lazy circles to stir a mug of floral-scented tea. Another mug, presumably Blitz’s, was being slowly poured over a full cup of ice cubes. It had been years together, but in moments like these Blitz was still in awe of his boyfriend; beautiful, smart, powerful, kind, and in seemingly effortless ways. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t understand why Stolas chose him, but he knew that he would hold onto him for as long as he possibly could. Which meant, unfortunately for him, being honest. It was something that had been a real point of contention for them at the beginning of their relationship and there was no way that continuing to hide something, innocuous as it was, would be beneficial in any way. 

He slid into the wooden chair next to Stolas as quietly as he could manage and grasped the cup of coffee carefully. Stolas shook himself from his reverie at the interruption to his pouring. Looking down at Blitz, he closed his journal and pushed it aside. 

“Hello darling, how are you?” Stolas smiled reaching out to take Blitz’s hand. The imp pulled away, studying the table. The sooner he told the truth, the better, he reasoned. He took a breath before responding, his eyes trained o the oak table.

“I…was going to lie to you about something. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have,” the words poured out in a tumble. He felt a knot in chest tightening, a lump forming in his throat, and he knew he was heading toward a meltdown. 

“It was stupid, and I know one of the rules was that we were supposed to be honest with each other and I was about to break the same rule that I was super insistent on when we got together, which was definitely more for me that you, so I had to be honest and…why are you laughing?” 

The owl was doubled over, hooting in hysterics, clutching the edge of the table for support. He took a few breaths to calm himself, swiping a few stray tears of hilarity before speaking.

“I’m terribly sorry, darling,” he chuckled, taking Blitz’s hands and pulling him closer, “But only you would become distraught that you considered being dishonest with me,” he smiled and pressed his forehead to Blitz and nuzzled him. 

“It is endearing, reassuring, and deeply concerning all at once that you value honesty in our relationship so much that you would work yourself into such a state because you might have lied to me”

“Well, good to know that you find my possible deceit to be fucking funny,” Blitz grumbled. 

“Ooo, deceit ! Excellent vocabulary word, firecracker,” Stolas beamed at him like a proud teacher. Blitz rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. His tail flicked back and forth in annoyance. Why wasn’t Stolas making a big deal of this? This is a big deal! Like, he could’ve broken his trust in just a few short moments and Stolas was over here laughing it up. Did he think about lying to Blitz? Was he lying to Blitz already? What the fuck was this daddy-fucker lying about??

“Okay, love, that’s enough spiraling from you,” Blitz startled from the sudden severe tone of Stolas’ voice. He looked at him with wide eyes. Was this bird a mind reader? Is that what he was hiding?

“You’re thoughts are loud, darling. For the record, I would care very much if you had lied to me. It would have hurt, but we also could work through it. It is forgivable,” Stolas began, stroking Blitz’s back soothingly. 

“Also, I apologize for my reaction. I can see now that it wasn’t very thoughtful, considering how upset you were. Can you forgive me?” Stolas asked, a timid half-smile at his beak. 

“Are you for real? I’m the one who fucked up! I should be asking you to forgive me, not the other way around,” Blitz exclaimed, his tail lashing back and forth at rapid speed.

“If you want to apologize, that is a choice you can make. I am choosing to apologize for not being sensitive to your feelings, which matter just as much as mine, ” the force on the last few words was not missed by Blitz, but he certainly was having a hard time believing him. 

“I am sorry, Stols. I’m sorry for even thinking about lying, because that seems like a really dangerous fucking path. And of course I forgive you, pretty bird. You didn’t do shit wrong,” Stolas raised an eyebrow and waited. 

“Okay, fine, it did bother me- a little bit! But, I still would forgive you for basically anything. I love you, birdbrain,” Blitz gently punched his shoulder, smiling. 

“Thank you, love. I forgive you for considering being less than forthcoming about…wait. What were you going to lie to me about? I suppose we should have started with that but I barely let you begin,” Stolas chuckled again, “I am so sorry, Blitz. Could you please let me know what has you do distressed?”

Blitz’s faced burned bright again. Uh-oh. He’d backed himself into a corner, and now he was going to have to tell Stolas. He swallowed hard, “Um, well…I sort of woke up a little earlier than you and I was…big again. I had,” he tried to finish, but the words got stuck in his throat. He felt the burn of the tears return now that he was no longer annoyed and brushed one away in shame. 

He addressed the rest of the story to Stolas’ lap, head hung like a naughty child. 

“I had an accident and I didn’t want to tell you. I forgot about our agreement to give me a reset when I come back to my adult mind so I snuck out of bed and changed myself and crawled back into bed to make it seem like I didn’t need it and so I wouldn’t have to change in front of you again.” 

Blitz sat, heart thudding gripping his own biceps so hard he left slight diverts in the flesh. A taloned hand guided his face up to meet dual crimson eyes. 

“Thank you for being honest with me, Blitz. It’s okay, I know this is very difficult and embarrassing for you. Thank you for trusting me and allowing me to be there for you. I am so proud of you for choosing to share the truth,” he pressed a kiss to Blitz’s insignia. Blitz hugged him tight, burying his face into a bed of fluffy feathers. 

“You did so good, darling,” Stolas soothed, “So good.” He stroked the spaces between Blitz’s spines gently, murmuring soft praise until Blitz’s breathing settled and he lifted his head from the bed of down. He sniffed, rubbing his sore eyes and cheeks with his fists. 

“Blitz,” Stolas began softly, “You know I would never force you to continue this, right? If it’s too much or it doesn’t help, you are always free to stop. I want this to be your choice. I won’t judge you or resent you for choosing to end this.” He smiled warmly at Blitz, cupping his face once more.

“I know, Stolas. I just- it’s hard but it’s good, ya know? Like before and after are hard, but during is nice. Like as far as I can tell. I don’t really remember all of it, but I get the sense that I like it, if that makes sense.” 

Stolas nodded, “Yes, I think that makes perfect sense. Your adult mind has struggles dealing witht he vulnerability revolving around the helplessness of infancy and childhood, possibly because of what was taken from you at such a young age, but also because you are a strong and capable adult who knows that he is logically capable of meeting these needs independently and thus has a sense of self-worth attached to the ability to meet these needs. When the two sides meet, they clash, and internal conflict brews, causing fear, shame, and a desire to repress such urges.” 

Blitz stared at him.

“Huh?”

“Sorry, that was a bit long-winded. I meant, it’s embarrassing to your adult self because you can take care of yourself already and you have bad memories attached to your childhood. You don’t feel safe being that helpless in either mind, but especially not as an adult. Your younger self is a bit more trusting, and therefore enjoys the experience more. Make sense?” He tilted his head to the side, worrying he’d been a bit too wordy again. 

“Nah, I think I get what you’re saying now. Like I’m fighting with two parts of myself and that happens more when I’m big because I can think about stuff like that, right?” Blitz summarized. Stolas hooted happily.

“Exactly, darling! Excellent recap!” Blitz grinned at the praise, then became somber for a  moment, considering the owl’s earlier point. 

“Well, I think that I want to keep trying. It just might be hard at first. So…you know. Keep giving me adult breaks. Keep talking to me normally when I’m not in the little space. All those things. Answer should be good soon,” Blitz replied, trying to project a confidence he didn’t possess. 

“How’d it go today, by the way?” He asked casually, taking a sip from his ice coffee now that he was free from his crushing guilt. 

“Oh,” Stolas replied nervously, “Well, what do you remember? And how much do you wish to know?”

Blitz narrowed his eyes. Okay, maybe the owl was also considering keeping things from him. Although at least he gave Blitz a choice. On the other hand, that could mean that he really didn’t want to know.

“Well…I remember a bit about playing with the ponies. I remember eating lunch and then…” he tried to recall but felt himself drawing a blank. Weird, had he fallen asleep then? No because he felt like maybe he was rocked at one point. 

“I think your mind might be trying to protect you against something that happened. It wasn’t anything really bad, but it upset you and reverted you back younger than your original two-year old self,” Stolas began timidly, “Would you like me to tell you what happened?”

“Um, fuck. Yeah. I don’t wanna be in the dark. I mean, I get it’s probably cringey and embarrassing, but I think I can deal with it. Or, at least I’d better learn to deal with it.”

Stolas let out a breath, “Very well. How to begin? Well, I was cleaning the lunch dishes while you continued to play. When I looked up, I couldn’t see you in the living room anymore. There weren’t many places to look, so I headed toward the nursery and, sure enough, I found you.”

He paused for a moment, looking deeply sad. 

“There were diapers spread out on the floor and you’d managed to take off the shorts you were wearing, but were having difficulty opening the snaps on the onesie. You were crying and I walked in to comfort you, but you hid behind the chair. It took a bit of coaxing to convince you that I wasn’t mad at you and that I wanted to help you.”

Blitz furrowed his brows, “What, did I piss myself or something?”

“Well, yes. But mainly it seemed you were upset because I had offered you a chance to use the toilet before and you declined,” Stolas admitted. 

“Oh, fuck. That does sound like my fault then,” Blitz bowed his head again, ashamed. 

“I will tell you what I told younger Blitz. It was an accident. I wasn’t mad. The diaper did it’s job. You were very clever, trying to take care of it yourself, but there’s no need. I’m here and I will help,” Stolas said fiercely. Blitz nodded, not fully believing his words, but not willing to argue. 

“I have a couple of questions for you, darling. If you don’t mind, that is,” Stolas added. 

“Shoot,” Blitz replied, sadly. He sucked on his ice coffee slowly, wondering if he should really be drinking this. Was he going to go back into a little space for the rest of the day. 

“I was wondering if you would like some help with being reminded to go to the restroom when you’re regressed under three years old, or if it would simply be easier not to bother with the toilet at all?”

“Why the fuck would that help?” Blitz asked sharply. The owl’s face fell, appearing truly hurt for the first time since the start of their conversation. Seeing Stolas’ reaction he sighed. 

“Sorry, that wasn’t a nice way to say that. I mean, what’s your thought? Why do you think it would help?” he revised.

“That’s all right,” Stolas replied, “I mean, it was more upsetting to you that I asked you to go and then you didn’t and had an accident. So, what if we just took the toilet learning portion out of it? I mean, it is done for many before the age of three, but it was a traumatic experience for you and I don’t see why we need to repeat that when you’re at such a young age. I mean, as an adult, you don’t have issues making it to the toilet. Although, maybe you could consider going more regularly. But, why stress over relearning what you already know?” Stolas asked.

Blitz considered it for a moment. 

“But three and over, I could just go to the bathroom normally and wear the,” he squirmed and mumbled, “ pull-ups to bed?”

“Precisely,” Stolas replied. Blitz mulled it over. There was really no downside. He’d be embarrassed either way, so the only thing this changed was whether or not he was living up to someone’s expectations. He figured, just this once, he could deal with that. 

“Okay,” he said, finally, ‘That sounds doable. Let’s try it.”

Stolas fluffed with pride, confidence fully restored with Blitz’s agreence. 

“Very well, my love. Are you up for beginning again?”

“Yeah, sure,” Blitz replied, trying for nonchalance, but achieving something more akin to seasick. 

Stolas hooted in delight, “Lovely! Let's go get you dressed then, Starlight!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

The rest of the weekend passed far too quickly for either of their liking. Blitz was able to regress twice more, both times as a three year old. Stolas relished playing horses with Blitz, chasing him around the cottage (little Blitz was quite the handful once he became more accustomed to Stolas’ presence), and reading stories to him. Being three, Blitz was able to continue wearing underwear during the day and stayed dry successfully. He fought Stolas a bit about wearing pull-ups to bed, but was coaxed easily when presented with pairs adorned with various hell horses. 

They moved back into the manor right before the work week begun again and reacclimated to their adult lives the best they could. Stolas made sure that he was treating Blitz as his normal adult self and easing him back into his regular mindset. 

Blitz felt more relaxed than he had in months. He didn’t feel entirely comfortable talking about the little activities that he engaged in afterward, but he made sure to check in with Stolas about his overall impression of the experience before the week began. 

“So…” he began, drawing out the word slowly as he sat next to Stolas, snacking on a bowl of popcorn together, “I guess it would be a good idea to…you know, check in? About all of the stuff from the weekend and what we’re doing going forward.” 

Stolas nodded, “Yes, I agree. Would you like to begin?”

Blitz exhaled, “I mean, no, but I did bring it up so I guess I can start by saying that I actually feel pretty good today. Like, relaxed and happier than normal. I’m not saying that it’s entirely due to what we did but I feel more comfortable now.” 

Stolas practically beamed. He emitted a low chittering sound of delight and nuzzled Blitz’s cheek, “I am so glad to hear you’re feeling better today. I want to say, for my part, I enjoyed what we did. Of course, I still enjoy our adult time together as well,” he waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Blitz snorted, shaking his head, “And I enjoy times like this, when we’re able to just talk and be with each other, but I really enjoyed taking care of you too. I like being able to make you feel safe and secure and it’s fun to play together. I haven’t had the opportunity to do any of those things since Octavia was a little owlet, and I confess, I quite miss giving my attention to someone in that way,” he smiled sheepishly. 

Blitz felt a warm blush on his cheeks and, although he couldn’t yet admit it aloud, he could internally accept that he loved the feeling of being taken care of. He still couldn’t remember everything that happened in a little space, but the residual warm, fuzzy feeling stayed with him even after he ‘woke’ and entered his adult mind again. 

“Yeah, well…” he began, scratching the back of his head and fiddling with the corner of the throw blanket, “I would be okay doing it again sometime, but just not every day.” He pushed down the unspoken fear he would become too dependent on the care and need it all the time, driving Stolas away with his neediness. 

Stolas’ talon covered his hand and he looked up to dual crimson eyes gazing lovingly at him.

“Me too,” he replied, simply and he pressed a kiss to Blitz’s lips. Blitz melted into the kiss, drawing Stolas into his arms. When they pulled away, Stolas practically had hearts in his eyes and Blitz was breathless. When they both finally regained their senses, Stolas was the first to speak. 

“I was thinking, darling…” he began. 

“Careful with that, it’s a slippery slope,” joked Blitz, twining his tail around Stolas’ leg. Stolas, tittered in amusement, stroking his tail gently. 

“Yes, so I’ve been told. However, nonetheless, I was thinking about how this might be something that we need to reference or talk about, but it may be hard to do so if others are near,” he cupped Blitz’s cheek, the look on his face soft and endearing, “and I wouldn’t want to embarrass you or upset you.”

Blitz felt his stomach flutter with anxiety. He definitely wouldn’t want anyone knowing about his ‘activities’ with Stolas this past weekend, or any time in the near future. 

“Yeah, I mean. That would fucking suck if anyone found out,” he agreed, nervously, “So, we just need to never talk about it around anyone. Simple.” 

“Well, obviously, that is the first and easiest option. However, I could imagine some scenarios in which it may need to be discussed and, yet, one or both of us cannot escape the company we are surrounded by. It might be useful to give it a name or a phrase so that we know we’re talking about little space time without giving it away to those around us,” Stolas tilted his head slightly to the side, “What do you think, dear?”

Blitz hummed thoughtfully, still trying to imagine a scenario in which they would need to discuss something so private around others. Eventually, he concluded if Stolas could envision such an occurrence, it must be possible. Stolas was too smart for his own good, so if he foresaw an instance in which they would need a codeword, he was probably right. 

“I mean, I still can’t think of when we would ever breathe a word about this in front of anyone,” Blitz began somewhat forcefully,“ but on the off chance that we need to…yeah I guess a code word might be useful. What should we call it?” he questioned Stolas. 

“Hmm…I’m not sure. It needs to be something that is both private and discreet and makes enough sense in a typical conversation. Something you could ask for at any moment and no one would question,” Stolas hummed thoughtfully and Blitz furrowed his brow in concentration. 

“Well, if I want to be…you know…” he mumbled the next part, “little…I could say that I don’t feel well…” Blitz, suggested. Stolas nodded in agreement.

“True enough, and I don’t anticipate needing to use it often so it should suffice for more than just once. Though there may well be follow-up questions after. I suppose you could just tell people it was a twenty-four hour bug and that you just needed to sleep it off. Although, I feel like not feeling well is only a statement and you’ll probably need a way to distinguish it from regular not feeling well.”

Blitz laughed, “I literally never take off work for being sick. My immune system is a force to be reckoned with. Circus germs,” he smirked, confidently. 

Stolas narrowed his eyes, “Ah, so there might be even more questioning if you were to say you don’t feel well. You could probably follow-up with saying that you’d like to go home. Maybe that would be enough to make sure that I know you’re wanting to be little and an excuse to get you out of wherever we are.”

Blitz nodded, “Yeah I could see that working. Maybe if we’re just bring it up around other people we could just talk about it by talking about the cottage. Like talking about oh, well since we were at the cottage this weekend, then…blah, blah, blah. You’re rich enough they might assume you just have a whole other place that we visit on the weekends sometimes. Which…I mean.. You kind of do. And then we could be like, oh are we doing the cottage this weekend or staying in the manor? Easy enough to sound like we’re just making weekend plans without sounding sketchy about it.”

Stolas lit up, “Yes, that’s absolutely perfect. Then if ever, I was questioning if you were using the code word when you said you wanted to go home, I could just follow-up with cottage or manor? Easy enough. You are so very clever,” he nearly cooed, nuzzling noses with Blitz. He backed up instantly, hoping it hadn’t been interpreted as cloying, babying behavior, but if Blitz minded, he didn’t seem intent on expressing it. He smiled brightly, basking in the praise. 

“Thanks birdie. I’ve been known to have a few good ideas,” he chortled, ruffling Stolas’  headfeathers. Stolas leaned into his touch, relishing the playful tousel. 

“You certainly have,” Stolas replied, settling into his lap. As he lay, allowing Blitz to gently comb through and straighten his feathers, another thought occured to him; if they were going to be doing this regularly, Blitz might become accustomed to regressing as a coping mechanism instead of some of his more destructive habits. Which, while a lovely option in the comfort of their own home, might become rather…hindering at his business. 

He considered voicing this aloud, but something stopped him. Blitz was just getting used to the idea of regressing. He wasn’t at all comfortable regressing alone yet. There was no chance it would happen accidentally, at least not yet. It was better to allow Blitz to slowly get used to the pattern than to stress him unnecessarily about this particular ‘what if’ scenario. He sighed, settling into the gentle carding of Blitz’s claws through his feathers, and allowed himself to enjoy the sensation of being cared for in return. 

There was no need to worry. Everything would be perfectly fine.

Chapter Text

 Chapter 7

It was a Thursday, and the last hit of the day had been especially irritating. Perhaps it wouldn’t have been if they had more time to complete it, however a new client had come in, seconds after they opened shop for the day. They demanded that their kill come before all the others that were previously scheduled, claiming it was an emergency. The woman had died and come straight to IMP. They stated that their ex was an abusive prick who would harm their children if they were left alone and unsupervised with them for longer than twenty-four hours. He had killed the woman in a fit of jealous rage when she announced she was leaving him for another woman. 

Blitz, feeling somewhat sympathetic to their plight, and encouraged by the extra money promised to them, was willing to shift their schedule to get this hit completed first. He knew they could handle doing this hit and then the rest by the end of the day. 

The first hit was as easy as promised, as were the next five, and Blitz was nearly patting himself on the back for the easy extra money they had gained, until the last hit. 

He estimated that it should be an easy hit, one they could wrap up in less than twenty minutes; one of the easiest hits of the day- an older man who was hated by at least half a dozen different residents in hell. Apparently he was a sour, foul-mouthed man, who lived alone and made the lives of his senior neighbors a living hell. Now, as many of them gathered together in hell, they pooled their money to make sure that he joins them here soon so they can repay the favor- literally.

Blitz and Millie crawl in through the cracked window into the living room as soon as Moxxie gives the all clear. Moxie follows them in a few moments later and the spread out, searching the house from top to bottom. After a few minutes of searching, they find themselves all standing together in the kitchen, scratching their heads. He hadn’t been in any of the rooms in the house, but his car was parked outside and the man was a hermit. He hadn’t left his home in fifteen years, according to the neighbors. Blitz was starting to wonder if old age hadn’t beat them to the job and the ambulance had already come to collect the body and ship it to the nearest morgue, when a loud grinding noise made them all start. 

It came from the door to the garage, the one place no one had checked yet. They all took a look at each other and nodded, creeping toward the door, Blitz cocked and loaded his flint, aiming at the door. Millie stood axe raised above her head, Moxxie by her side with two hands on his rifle. Blitz nodded to them once more and reached for the knob, but when he made contact with it, he recoiled in pain. He hopped around cursing quietly for a moment, the burns scalding his already scarred fingertips. 

“Fucking, shit the doorknob’s heated! Satan’s tits that fucking hurts!” Blitz hissed. Moxxie hushes him, scowling and Blitz pouts. Fuck him, Blitz thought, he’d be screaming too if he touched a burning hot piece of metal. Stolas would never… he shook his head as if to clear it. It simply didn’t matter what Stolas would or wouldn’t do if he burned his hand. Moxxie wasn’t Stolas and they had a job to do. It wasn’t Moxxie’s job to kiss his boo-boos and tell him that it was going to be okay. It was his job to kill targets and right now, Blitz needed to pull himself together and do the same. He took a deep breath and examined the door. The grinding noise had paused for a moment when Blitz had touched the handle but now had resumed. 

He contemplated trying for a stealthy entry but, considering there were no other entries or egresses to the garage aside from the actual garage door, which would be far more noticeable to the other mortals, it seemed kicking in the door was the only viable option. He looked to Moxxie and Millie and mimed kicking down the door. Moxxie shook his head and Millie nodded. He gave Moxxie a gesture that he hoped read as “You got any better ideas, asshole?” and Moxxie rolled his eyes and gestured for Blitz to go ahead. 

Blitz strode back to the door and, with as much strength as he could muster, kicked it in. 

The effect was instantaneous. The were immediately assaulted with an artillery of automatic weapons, all trained directly for the door. It was only with careful maneuvering and quick thinking that Millie was able to take out the target. Moxxie managed to take out the mechanism which was controlling all of the weapons simultaneously. Blitz… well he had barely managed to dodge out of the way of all the shots, his burns still stinging, his hand swollen and sore. 

 He managed to open the portal to send them back to the office, but as soon as they were inside Moxxie turned on him. 

“What…the literal fuck , Blitz?” he seethed, tail swishing in irritation, “You could’ve mentioned that the guy was armed and deadly? We came in prepared for a little old crotchety man, asleep in bed. Not an ex-military with a whole secrets arms workshop in his garage! We could’ve been killed! And then, you fucking burn your hand and start cursing up a storm and then just kick in the door and stand there while Millie and I do all the work,” Moxxie rants, furiously, pacing back and forth, clawing his hands throw his tufts of white hair, “I mean, Satan, there is just no easy way with you is there? You are supposed to be the boss here and what you did…” he trails off, looking at Blitz who stood with his tail wrapped tightly around his waist, breathing heavily, with sudden concern, “Um, sir? Are you okay?”

“Great,” Blitz replied, shaking himself again. His mind had gone fuzzy at the edges, longing for Stolas, but he brought himself back, remembering where he was and who he was with, “Fucking peachy, Moxx. My hand is burnt like a fucking marshmallow that fell in the campfire, but other than that, I’m doing fine,” he retorted, snappily. 

Moxxie rolled his eyes, “Sir, I can’t count how many times one of us has been shot or stabbed on the job and we just keep going. Now you’re telling me you couldn’t help us finish the job because of a minor burn? In your own words, sir, don’t be such a fucking baby.” 

Blitz bit his lip, the anger that had been there only moments ago changed to hurt in a second. He tried to lid it the best he could, but he felt the tears that had been threatening for the last hour gather in the corners of his eyes. This was completely unfair! He had done a good job on all the other missions and his hand really did sting. Plus, they got the fucker, didn’t they? He was just being mean on purpose. And Blitz was not a baby! He was a big boy and- oh fuck, where did that come from? No, no, no. This could not be happening right now. 

Moxxie, completely unaware of Blitz’s plight, picked up the case folder for this latest hit, and after scanning the pages momentarily, looked up, glowering at Blitz.

“Yeah, exactly as I thought. It even specifically states right here that he has a fuck ton of weapons and spends most evenings and nights in his garage. How the hell do you miss that? It’s like you can’t even read. Why do you have to be such an idiot , Blitz?” 

Millie interceded at this point, noting the tears in Blitz’s eyes seconds before he scrubbed them away. “Moxxie, calm down! It was an honest mistake and the only person here that even got hurt was Blitz. We need to take care of those injuries, B,” she spoke gently, extending her hand out to him, but Blitz recoiled and retreated to the corner nearest the reception desk, wrapping his tail around his knees and cradling his hand. 

“Blitz?” Moxxie asked, uncertainly, “You…you okay?” Blitz felt the panic rise in his chest. He shook his head in response to Moxxie’s question. He felt like crying, he wanted held, he wanted something easy that he could do without messing up, like coloring or ponies, he wanted Stolas. He realized with icy certainty that he was slipping quickly. 

“No…it hurts and I don’t feel good and I want to go home…” he mumbled, staring at his lap. Then, in a flash of realization, he remembered that he could call Stolas. He pulled out his phone, ignoring the looks of concern and pity on his two employees faces. He scrolled to Stolas’ contact picture and hovered over it for a moment.  

He might be bothering him…what if he was busy doing some prince shit? What if it was too soon? It had only been a few days since their last arrangement, this was going to sound incredibly needy. He bit his lip, deliberating, his options. 

He felt exhausted, his hand was really smarting and he felt the scrutinous gazes of his friends boring into him. He was just so tired…it was such a long day and he needed…his thoughts began to drift to thoughts of Stolas, scooping him up and kissing his face, telling him he did a good job eating all his food or that he made a lovely paddock for his ponies out of blocks and suddenly his hands were dialing without his permission. It rang twice before Stolas answered.

“Hello, darling! How are you?” Stolas greeted him, sounding pleasantly surprised by the sudden call. 

“Hi,” Blitz spoke softly, “I…I um..” he struggled to find the words, his mind quickly tumbling backward, “I don’t really feel good,” he managed. 

“Oh, oh ,” Stolas replied softly, in realization, “I see, would you perhaps like to come home? Visit the cottage?”

Blitz felt the tears spill, but he wiped them away quickly, “Yes, please,” he mumbled quietly.

“Why don’t you go ahead and portal right there and I’ll meet you?” Stolas suggested, gently. Blitz nodded, then realized Stolas couldn’t see him. 

“Mkay, yeah I can do that,” he replied, but when he rubbed the crystal embedded in his arm, it failed to produce the warm glow and portal. He tried twice more, with increasing frustration, growling and whimpering in alternating waves of despair and annoyance. 

He wanted Stolas, now. Away from work, now. He didn’t realize Moxxie and Millie were even still there until he felt a small hand touch his shoulder. He flinched away from the touch in surprise. 

“Blitz..honey are you okay?” Millie asked, her voice surprisingly soft. Blitz found himself drawn to it. Her drawl was low and sweet and comforting, like his mamas, like Stolas’ when he took care of him. 

“No..” he replied, lip trembling, “Can’t get to Stolas. Stupid crystal…not working…” he muttered. 

Just then, Stolas spoke in his ear, reminding him that he had forgotten to hang up. 

“Crystal isn’t working? Well…that is strange,” replied Stolas, “I wonder…” he began as Millie spoke.

“Can’t you get the prince to open you a portal with his fancy book thing?” Millie asked, cocking her head to the side, “You look like you’re about to cry. That hand must really be bothering you…”

“Am not!” Blitz retorted, trying his best to sound like his normal self, “I am not gonna cry! I’m tough and I never ever cry cause I’m-” he cut himself off, clasping a hand over his mouth, just before he finished the sentence with ‘a big boy’ because he was pretty sure that grown-ups didn’t say such things aloud. 

With impeccable timing as always, a glowing purple portal announced Stolas arrival. He stepped through the circle of light straightening up just in time for Blitz to hurtle himself at him at full speed. 

“Stols!” he exclaimed, climbing him like a tree and nuzzling his feathers. Stolas felt his heart warm at the sight, then clench in pity. He should’ve really had that conversation with Blitz earlier. He seems a bit older than usual, but he was clearly regressed.

“Hello Blitz,” Stolas greeted him warmly, “Mildred, Moxxie,” he nodded, acknowledging their presence. 

“Hey, your highness,” Millie greeted, “I think there’s something wrong with Blitz here. His hand got a burn but it seems to be taking more than usual out of him.” Blitz whined into his chest.

“Is that right? That sort of injury doesn’t normally bother him so much. It must be especially painful. Would you be all right if I take you home and take a look at it, love?” Stolas inquired to the imp curled up in his arms. Blitz nodded silently. 

Moxxie stood, watching the exchange silently. He was bemused. Nothing ever brought Blitz down, least of all a minor injury like this. 

“Sir, if I may, a burn is easy enough to treat here. We’re almost done for the day anyways. You only have a few files to look over. I can help treat the burn and finish up the rest of the emails while you do the files and we’ll be finished for the day,” he entreated him, not wanting to finish all the paperwork alone, again. 

Blitz winced and burrowed into the gray plumage on his Stolas’ chest. Moxxie’s words weren’t completely making sense to him, but he knew he wanted Stolas to treat the burns and was sure that he couldn’t do any of the paper things he was meant to do.

“No,” he muttered, “Want Stolas to fix it. An’ I can’t do the paperwork anyways. ‘M an idiot,” he responded and Stolas felt his feathers grow wet with tears. He raised his eyebrows at that. 

“I would be happy to assist with your burns, dear, but you are not an idiot. Who told you that?” he asked, gently. 

Moxxie rolled his eyes, “That would be me. Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it, asshole,” this whole innocent, hurt thing was getting old quickly. Blitz called him far worse on a daily basis. True, he’d been marginally kinder and less invasive as of late, but that didn’t erase the years of constant picking on him. 

Stolas narrowed his  eyes, but quickly smoothed his expression. It was true that Blitz certainly ‘dealt it out’ frequently, but he may have already slipped and, if so, couldn’t possibly understand that. However, it wouldn’t do for Moxxie to find out about their little time. He would simply take Blitz home and help him decompress, then he could help with whatever paperwork was needed when Blitz was feeling up to it.

“Respectfully, Moxxie, if Blitz says he is in pain he probably is in need of more than basic medical care. I am happy to help him at home. If there is some need for paper work to be completed this evening, I can always help with that when he is feeling better, but it wouldn’t do to leave injuries untreated,” he replied, cooly. He scooped a pile of folders off the reception desk. 

“Are these the ones?” he asked the couple and they both nodded, “Very well, they will be attended to, but later.” They both stared blankly at Blitz, curled up tight in Stolas’ arms. His face was still buried so it was impossible for the other imps to discern his thoughts on this. His tail swished anxiously behind him and curled around Stolas’ arm alternately. 

Moxxie opened his mouth as if to disagree, but Millie quickly intervened. 

“Sounds like a plan,” she agreed, hastily, grasping Moxxie’s wrist in warning, “Night yer highness, night B. Feel better!” 

“Thanks, g’night,” Blitz mumbled. Stolas bade the couple good night and stepped through the portal, depositing them directly in front of the cottage. The evening air ruffled, Stolas feathers and Blitz shivered at the chill. The scent of honeysuckle and earth clung to the air and Blitz felt himself relax in spite of the previous encounter. 

“Here we are, firecracker,” Stolas spoke, barely above a whisper, as if afraid that he’d spook Blitz. He shifted Blitz to his hip, pulling a ring of keys from his waistcoat and fiddling until he found a small brass key. He inserted into the lock and turned it with a click. The door opened and lights flicked on with a wave of his taloned hand. He shut it behind them and brought them into the living room couch, sitting with Blitz still on his lap. Blitz slowly lifted his head, registering his surroundings. He let outa sigh of audible relief and nuzzled Stolas.

“Hello, there little one, how are you today?” Stolas cooed sweetly.

“Mm, not good,” Blitz replied, his voice cracking, “I messed up and Moxxie yelled at me and my hand hurts…” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, love. That sounds awful. Can I take a look at the boo-boo?” he asks, and Blitz nods, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Uh-huh,” he sniffles, “Hurts bad. But Moxxie said I was being a baby…but I’m not a baby, right?” He asked, looking up at Stolas with a pleading expression. 

“No, my love, you are a very brave, big boy,” Stolas soothed, taking his hand in his talons. The burn overlapped the already severe scarring on Blitz’s hand and it was clear to Stolas, just from looking that the wound was incredibly painful, likely from the skin already having endured such damage. 

“Dear, this looks very painful. Let me see what I can do…” he covered the burn with his hand and hummed a soft melody, causing a glow to encompass Blitz’s hand. As the song drew to a close, the light fades and the stinging sensation was replaced with a cool, balm-like relief. Blitz let out a breath and snuggled against Stolas.

“Thank you…that feels so much better,” Blitz smiled, clenching and unclenching his fist.

“You’re welcome, my love,” the owl pulled him closer. 

“Thanks for coming to get me…I was sad…” he admits in a whisper. 

“Yes, I could see that,” replies Stolas, stroking the back of Blitz’s head, “Were you already little by the time I arrived?”

Blitz squirmed nervously. He hadn’t meant to be little before Stolas arrived, and he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to have stayed big. He didn’t want to disappoint Stolas or get into trouble. 

“I….um…maybe?” he replied, hesitantly, fiddling with the throw blanket thrown over the couch. 

Stolas considered him for a moment before sliding his arms around him in a tender embrace. 

“That’s all right, my love. You’re not in any trouble for being little. You probably needed it,” he reassured, stroking the spines on Blitz’s back. 

“I confess, I’m not sure how your adult mind will feel about being in a little space in front of your coworkers, but that is a problem for big Blitz. A later on problem,” Stolas said, smiling. 

“The only thing you need to worry about is what you would like to do now that we’re here in the cottage again! I suppose we should get changed first. How old are we right now, my little firecracker?” Stolas asked.

“I think…I think I’m six,” Blitz replied, thoughtfully. 

“Really?,” Stolas replied, astonished, “Wow, that’s the biggest you’ve ever been with me! Well, we’ll just have to have fun playing some big boy games today, isn’t that right, my sweet?”

Blitz blushed and ducked his head. The praise had his tummy doing flips and his face feel hot. He pawed a bit at the blanket, tail swishing slowly.

“What’s the matter my dear? Are we feeling shy, sweet boy?” Stolas asked.

Blitz nodded. He supposed that was the closest thing to what he was feeling. It was an odd mixture of embarrassment and a desire for more of the endearments. The whole encounter with Moxxie had him feeling exposed and raw and he wanted to be reassured by Stolas that…well, he wasn’t sure what exactly. He just wanted that good feeling that came whenever he did something right. Stolas seemed to see those times more than other demons.

“That’s all right, firecracker. Do you want help getting dressed? Or do you want to do it all by yourself?” Stolas offered. He wanted to give Blitz more independence at this age. It was the first time Blitz had been out of the toddler age range and he wanted to ensure that the imp was given as many opportunities for freedom as possible. 

Blitz weighed the choices in his mind. On one hand, he was super sleepy and he loved being doted on by Stolas. On the other hand, if he were to dress himself like a big boy, Stolas might be impressed and tell him how good he was. 

“I wanna do it myself,” he decided, standing and hopping down from the couch. 

“Very well,” Stolas replied, dropping a kiss to the top of his head, “Then I will prepare us some dinner while you pick out some clothes. Do you like macaroni, sweet boy?”

Blitz wagged his tail excitedly, nodding vehemently, “Yes! Macaroni! Yay, special food!”

“Special food, my love?,” Stolas asked, his head cocking to the side. As far as he knew, macaroni was anything but special. It was one of the staple convenience foods that Blitz ate as an adult, and one of the cheaper ones at that. 

“Yeah! The one for special ‘ccasians. Cause, ya know, milk and butter don’t keep long. So…only when we have company. Special ‘ccasians. Wait, we’re not having company, right?” Blitz asked, nervously, his tail swishing back and forth. 

Stolas blinked for a moment, processing the information before he responded to the easiest and most immediate question, “Um, no my love, we aren’t having company. We have a refrigerator here in the cottage so we can keep the milk and butter longer.”

Blitz relaxed, “Oh. Okay then,” he responded, then turned on his heel and headed toward the nursery to dress himself. 

Stolas stood, dumbfounded for a moment as he processed the idea that Blitz may not have had any fresh food that wasn’t purchased from a restaurant or stand at the circus. He must not have had a refrigerator. How did they keep milk for him when he was a baby? True enough, it was formula until one, but they recommend whole milk for imps, each day, until two years old. Stolas shook his head, resigning himself to asking Blitz when he was big again. He then, turned to the task of making the ‘special’ macaroni and cheese.

Meanwhile, Blitz entered the nursery. He regarded the changing table with a huff. Not today! he thought. Cause I’m a big boy and I don’t need any diapers. I probably even don’t need anything for bed time. I’ll just have to prove it to Stolas. He pulled open the drawers and dug through until he found a pair of soft, black overalls and a light blue long-sleeve top in his size. He managed to get out of his adult suit easily, and pull on the shirt and overalls. He struggled a bit with hooking the overalls, but managed to click them into place after a bit of fiddling. He examined himself in the mirror, and decided he was ready.

He made his way to the kitchen, tail swishing nervously behind him. He hoped Stolas would like what he chose. 

“Hello, kitten! Oh, what a gorgeous outfit! You chose well, my love. And you managed to get those overalls on all on your own? Such a clever boy,” he cooed, scooping Blitz up into his arms and nuzzling him. Blitz felt his heart soar at the compliments and affection. Stolas set him down gently with a kiss to his forehead, still beaming at him.

“Thank you…” he replied, feeling a little overwhelmed with the praise but pleased none the less. He peeked up at the counter to see where Stolas was in the macaroni preparation. Stolas moved the noodles to the strainer to drain and returned the to the pan. As he turned to get the butter from the fridge, he felt a small tug on the hem of his top. He looked down to see a pair of bright, vermillion eyes gazing up at him. 

“Can I help, Stowes?” Blitz asked, hopefully, “I know how to pour and mix and measure even. Mama taught me that already,” he added, figuring a bit of bragging wouldn’t hurt his chances. 

Stolas blinked in surprise again. Blitz certainly had a lot of basic life skills knowledge at a young age. Far more than he had by the time he was an adult. He wondered if that was common amongst imps and he was just privileged to have staff who would prepare meals and complete other such domestic tasks. He only learned as an adult because of his own personal interest to connect with Blitz and learn a new skill. He felt marginally ashamed that he was so woefully behind in these areas, and incredibly grateful that he had been able to pass this knowledge on to Octavia before she got to be his age and still only knew how to make cereal and a bowl of toast. 

He shook himself, realizing that he had been standing there staring off into space while Blitz slowly wilted in anticipated disappointment. The poor thing must have thought that the owl was going to say no. 

“Yes, yes of course!” Stolas cried hurriedly, “My apologies darling, I was simply so stunned that you already are able to do so many things on your own,” he covered quickly. It was partially true, and adult Blitz may have clocked the missing information but right now, Blitz was grinning excitedly and bouncing up and down. 

“Thanks you!” he exclaimed, “I can do the milk! Here, I got it!” Blitz called. 

“What a good little helper you are!” cooed Stolas as he bent to look for a measuring cup.

Blitz hurried to push a stool over and grab the milk from the fridge. 

He thought carefully to himself. Now he needed to think about how to measure it out. Mama always poured slowly and counted. She seemed to know exactly when to stop, so it must just be a grown up thing. He pushed over the stool so he stood next to the pot. He unscrewed the cap with a little difficulty and lifted the jug over the pot. 

“Okay! Ready! Count!” he announced as he began to our as slowly as he could, “One…twoooo……” Stolas looked up in surprise from the cabinet he’d opened to get out the measuring cup. 

“Blitz, darling, wait a moment. We need to measure how much milk we put in!” Stolas called out. Maybe  Blitz didn’t actually know what he was talking about and he was just a six year old who remembered cooking with his mother but didn’t understand what they did. 

“I am, don’t worry. Fiiiiiveee…..sixxxxx,” Blitz continued, pouring more and more milk in the pot, “Seveeeennnn, eiiighhhhts. Wait…when do I stop again? I forget is it eight or ten?” 

“I- I’m not sure what you mean love. I’ve always used a measuring cup for the milk,” Stolas replied, trying not to cringe at the massive amount of milk in the pot. 

“What’s that?” Blitz asked, cocking his head to the side. Stolas stared at him blankly for a moment before something clicked. Of course. There was no refrigerator, why would they have measuring cups or spoons? 

He held up the measuring cup and offered it so Blitz could see. The imp took it from his hands and examined it carefully. 

“It’s for measuring liquids- like milk or water. The lines and numbers on the sides tell you how much you’ve put it the cup. Then you pour it in to whatever you’re making,” Stolas explained patiently. He watched as a look of realization dawned on Blitz’s face. He looked at the cup, looked at the pot, and then looked at Stolas with a pitiful expression. 

“I…I did it wrong?” he asked, his bottom lip trembling. 

“No, no darling,” Stolas entreated, rubbing his back, “I’m sure the way you know is just as good. Only I’m not sure how to measure that way. I never learned I suppose.”

“Oh,” Blitz replied, his face thoughtful, “Your mama never taught you?” he asked, gazing up at Stolas, his eyebrow furrowed. 

Stolas felt a jolt at that. “I…no, firecracker, I’m afraid not. I never knew my mother, unfortunately. I learned cooking as an adult.” 

“Oh…that’s so sad. I’m sorry,” replied Blitz sincerely, reaching out to hold Stolas’ hand, “It’s okay if you don’t know this way. I can ‘t remember what mama counted to anyways so we can just do the way you know,” he offered, in a kind voice. 

Stolas smiled. Even as little one, his Blitz was always such a caring soul.

“Thank you, sweetness. Here, you can measure the butter and I’ll try to take out a little bit of the milk.”

“Mkay,” Blitz replied quietly. He had added too much but it seemed like Stolas wasn’t mad and maybe it could be fixed still, “Sorry I added too much…I hope it’s not ruined,” he mumbled quietly.

“It’s all right, dear. It isn’t ruined and it’s not your fault. We can fix it up,” Stolas replied, encouragingly, wrapping his arm around the imp. Blitz rubbed his face against Stolas’ side, breathing in his scent- soft, lavender, tea. He sighed at the comforting smell and let out a low purr. Stolas smiled in response and continued showing his little Blitz how to measure out the butter. 

After they finished making and eating dinner, Stolas began washing the dishes. After the first regression, Stolas had reminded Blitz about using the bathroom after meals and, usually, Blitz was quite agreeable, not wanting to have another accident. Stolas issued the gentle reminder as he loaded the plates into the sink.

“Blitz, darling, remember to take a bathroom break please,” he called into the living room. Blitz sat playing quietly with his horses, making a big barn for them out of blocks. 

“I will…later!” I’m a big boy now, he thought, slightly annoyed, I can hold it for a long time. Everyone can by six. I don’t need a reminder. I’ll go when I wanna. 

“All right, love…” Stolas replied, hesitantly. They had agreed that Blitz wasn’t going to do any potty training in little space, and Blitz did seem to be staying in his six-year-old mind. He probably did know at this age if he needed to go an Stolas certainly didn’t want to push and upset him. He resigned himself to continuing the dish washing as quickly as possible so he could join his little one as soon as possible.

Blitz had his barn finally built, with enough stalls for three of his ponies. Ice-cream Sandwich, took the first stall, Mango Cheese, the second and now Cherry Muffin and Sugar Diamond were having a heated debate over which would sleep in the third stall. 

“That stall is as good as mine!,” Blitz pitched his voice high to make Cherry Muffin talk. 

“That’s what you think! It’s mine and we both know it,” he made Black Diamond respond in a lower gravelly voice. 

“Why should you get to sleep in it? It’s not fair!” protested Cherry Muffin. 

“Well…we could share!” suggested Black Diamond, "Then we can both have a warm place to sleep.”

“Okay! That sounds good, so long as you don’t snore!” replies Cherry Muffin. He mimes both horses, trotting toward the last stall, but then, suddenly another character, a goat with large horns, appears, blocking their path. 

“No way, Cherry Muffin! You can’t sleep in that stall. That bed’s for Black Diamond,” replied the goat.

“But why, dad?” replied Cherry Muffin, “Black Diamond said I can share and I won’t take up much space.”

“Black Diamond is a good show horse and brings in lots of money for this show. She needs a bed to rest in! Your shows are awful anyways. You don’t even need it! You’re just lucky we keep you around,” responded the goat in a gruff, angry growl, “If it were up to me, I’d kick you to the streets.”

Cherry Muffin wickers sadly and turns away, “Fine…I’ll sleep over here then…” and she lays on the floor near the stall. The ‘dad’ goat trots away and Black Diamond whispers for Cherry Muffin. 

“Psst. Psst, Cherry!” she hisses. 

“What?” replies, Cherry Muffin, sniffling.

“Here, come in and sleep with me. You can just leave in the morning. He’ll never know!” she encouraged.

“Are you sure?” replied Cherry Muffin, timidly, “I know you need good sleep.”

“Everyone needs good sleep, Cherry. Now get in here,” she entreats. Slowly, Cherry Muffin creeps in and snuggles up next to Black Diamond. 

“Thanks...” she whispers. 

“No problem,” replies Black Diamond. 

Stolas keeps his back turned toward the sink, but the stiffness in his shoulders is apparent. He knew it was just a game, but he also was well aware that children often act out what they see in real life through imaginary play. He could tell already who Blitz was meant to be in this scenario and it broke his heart. 

It was quiet for a moment then he heard a soft curse from off in the distance. He thought about reprimanding him, but he was more curious to see what had finally cause the smaller demon to break his no cursing in little space rule. He peeked out into the living room and saw it was empty. 

Oh, shit. Oh, shit, shit, shit. Stupid overalls. Stupid clasps….stupid, stupid, stupid! Blitz stood in the bathroom, clenching his legs together and trying to unfasten the buckles to the overalls. He couldn’t stay still, hopping from one foot to the other, trying desperately to hold his bladder. He was pretty sure he had gone once in the morning but it was tricky to remember what he did when he was a grown up. He needed to go so badly and the overalls weren’t coming undone. He gave a final tug and, finally, toggle separated from its button. Yes! Finally! The fabric dropped to the floor in a swish and Blitz took one step toward the toilet. But it was too late. He stood in horror, one foot from the toilet as liquid pooled around his feet. 

“Blitz? Are you all right?” Stolas called, opening the door. No, no, no. This could not be happening. He was never going to believe Blitz was big now. He was going to be so mad. He should’ve known better! He was supposed to go when he was told to. He was supposed to be able to hold it better and now Stolas was going to hate him!

“Blitz? Blitz. Darling, please, breathe. Breathe for me,” Stolas instructed, gently. Blitz felt himself shaking, his heart hammering, ears ringing. The edges of his vision blurred and he was gasping for breath. 

“Blitz, breathe. Everything is all right. I’m not mad at you, you’re not in trouble. Everything is okay,” Stolas soothed.

Blitz’s bottom lip trembled, he pulled in a breath but it came back out shuddery and wrong, “I-it’s not o-kay,” he sobbed, “I-I’m…I mess everything up! I’m supposed to be big now!”

“Blitz…listen to me, you are okay. I am not mad. You were very close dear. And you are not ‘supposed to’ do anything other than try your best,” Stolas stood a little off from the puddle but opened his arms, and dropped into a squat. Blitz remained still, tail wrapping around his waist in an attempt to hide himself.

“What happened, firelight? Did you miss?” asked Stolas, concerned.

“I…yes, kind of…my buckles didn’t… come undone q-quick enough,” Blitz answered in between gulps of air. 

“I see..those are very tricky to unclasp quickly. I can see why that was difficult,” Stolas said, thoughtfully, “I am not angry. Everything will be okay, sweetling. How about we clean this up and then…oh I know! We can play with some bath toys I got for you today!” He suggested, cheerily. 

“B-bath toys?” Blitz asked, rubbing the tears from his eyes. 

“Mhmm. Pirate bath toys. Would you like that, firelight?” Stolas offered with a smile. Blitz shifted his feet, wincing at the feel of the liquid at his toes. 

“Here, let me help with that,” Stolas offered, waving his fingers over the tile and wet clothes. A hum of magic, removed the mess, leaving behind a smell of cedar and orange. Blitz stared in open awe of Stolas for a moment before becoming aware that he was undressed. He blushed and covered himself with the shower curtain. Stolas politely kept his gaze away from Blitz as he went to turn on the water.

“How about you go choose some pajamas and underwear and I’ll start drawing the bath, hmm?” Stolas suggested. Blitz crinkled his eyebrows in confusion, forgetting his predicament for a moment.

“Why would you draw it? The paper’ll get all wet,” he said, confused. Stolas let out a small hoot of laughter.

“I meant to say, I’ll fill the tub with water, love. Not actually create a picture of it,” he smiled and shook his head.

“Oh. Then why not say that?” he asked, head cocked to side in confusion.

“I’m sorry, my love. It’s just the way I speak,” replied Stolas with a chuckle, “Now run along and get your pajamas.”

As Blitz hurried off to get his clothes, Stolas let out a huge sigh of relief. That could have been so much worse than it was. He really needed to start doing dishes after Blitz was in bed. 

It was a good thing he had been able to provide such a distraction because he wasn’t sure what he could have done to convince Blitz that this wasn’t his fault. He’d be willing to bet that Blitz hadn’t actually used the bathroom since first thing that morning, and even that, he was questioning. The imp had woken later than usual and been in a rush on his way out the door. The work day was hectic and Blitz was infamous for not taking real breaks. It was no wonder a simple thing like undoing a clasp had been nearly impossible. They may need to speak when Blitz was big again about a way to ensure he remembered to use the bathroom during the day, especially if he may regress more than just on the weekend. 

As he sat, debating how to bring the topic up, Stolas drew the bath, adding bubble mixture and the pirate ship he had promised. Blitz returned moments later, holding the pajamas in his hand and a towel in the other. Stolas smiled at him and beckoned him closer. 

“Welcome back, firelight! That was very quick! Let’s see, what have we chosen?” he picks up the pajamas and notes that they’re the ones with skulls and crossbones. 

“Oh, perfect! Just right for the pirate adventure we’re about to have!” Stolas praised. Blitz blushed but there was still a heavy stone in his stomach, keeping him from fully enjoying the compliment. He has still pissed on the floor. That was not a very big boy thing to do…he would need to do far more to deserve the nice things that Stolas said and did for him. 

“Thank you, Stowes,” he replied, sheepishly. 

“You are most welcome, love!” He placed a kiss ton Blitz’s forehead and turned off the tap. 

“Right, so, bath time! We haven’t done this together before, so let’s talk about it. I was thinking you would undress and get into the tub. You can wash your body and I can help if you can’t reach a spot. Or if you would simply like me to wash you, I can do that. Then, you can play with your new pirate toy for bit before we dry off and get dressed in pajamas. I can help with any piece of that if you would like. Even if you’re able to do it yourself,” Stolas added, smiling gently. 

“Does that sound amenable- I mean, does that sound okay to you?  Is this different from what you’d expect from a bath?” Stolas asked, correcting his vocabulary as he recalled adult Blitz mentioning how difficult that was to understand as both a child and an adult. 

“Um…yes. I don’t think I need any help but….you can stay anyways and play pirates with me. It’s more fun with another person, anyway. It’s a little different cause normally bath time I do just quickly cause its cold but, I like pirates so its worth it!” he added quickly, not wanting to seem ungrateful. 

“Oh! Well, I think the water is fairly warm, but how about you feel and see how it is before you get in?” Stolas offered. He hadn’t thought about the temperature much, preparing an incredibly hot steaming bath like he knew Blitz preferred with his showers.

Blitz dipped his hand in and his eyes opened wide in surprise, “Woah, that’s so warm! How did you get it so hot? It’s perfect!” he exclaimed, delighted.

Stolas chuckled, “The tap just runs hot water, I suppose. Is it to your liking? Are you ready to get in?”

“Hell yeah! I mean- oops. Sorry,” he replied bashfully, scratching his head. Stolas had to restrain a small hoot of laughter. So, Blitz was every bit the sailor he claimed to be at this age. 

“That’s all right, darling. Mind you language though. Cursing is only for grown-ups,” he replied, kindly.

“Yes, Stowes,” Blitz replied and Stolas tried not to squeal over how Blitz still mispronounced his name at this age. Blitz undressed the rest of the way and climbed into the tub. He scrubbed his body with practice that let Stolas know that this was likely an independent task at Blitz’s home. He seemed to struggle to reach his back initially but ended up able to utilize his tail to finish it off. 

After washing, they played a riveting game of pirates. Stolas was assigned the role of the first mate to Blitz’s captain and together the took on robberies of the high seas. Stolas was reminded of the ten year old Blitz he met that one fateful day, playing a similar game but with real treasure and real stakes, and considered to himself how different that day might have gone if Blitz wouldn’t have had Cash as his piece of shit father. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. 

The water was cooling off at this point and Stolas was permitted to help Blitz out of the tub. Once out, Blitz shook himself like a dog, splattering droplets all over Stolas, who hooted with mirth. Once towel dried completely, and dressed for bed (Blitz needed convincing to wear the pull-up for overnight) Stolas scooped Blitz up in his arms, kissing his tummy and face. 

Blitz laughed and pushed his face away, ‘Get off, get ofF me,” he giggled. 

“Never!” teased Stolas, kissing his tummy and cheeks repeatedly. As he entered the nursery, he tossed, Blitz gently onto the bed, Blitz laughing hysterically. He pounced on the smaller demon and began tickling him, drawing out peals of high-pitched laughter. Finally, he stopped, allowing Blitz some mercy to breathe. He laid next to Blitz and pulled him close into his arms.

“There we are. Hello there, sweet boy. Are we ready for bed?” Stolas asked, booping him on the nose. 

Blitz nodded, yawning wide, then buried himself into Stolas’s chest plumage. 

“Rest then. You have worked so hard today. You are such a very good boy and you deserve rest, my love.”

“Blitz felt his tummy flip again, and this time the stone felt a little lighter. “R-really? But I messed up a lot today…”

Stolas clucked his tongue, “You still worked so hard. Just because we make mistakes doesn’t mean we didn’t try, right? You are such a sweet, helpful, kind, clever, little boy and I love you very much. Even when you make mistakes.”

Blitz felt a shiver that ran down his whole spine and he let out a soft purr.

“Thanks Stowes. Love you,” he murmured burrowing under Stolas’ arm.

“You’re welcome, firelight. Sleep well. I love you too,” Stolas replied, kissing the circus insignia branded on the smaller demon’s head. 

Now all they needed to worry about was sleep…and the paperwork, Stolas groaned internally. He was going to have a fun night after Blitz fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8

Blitz woke to a darkened room and the sound of a pen scratching against paper. He sat up, slowly, taking in his surroundings. Stolas was seated in the rocking chair across the room, writing something on what appeared to be a dense packet inside a manilla folder by the low glow of a horseshoe nightlight plugged into the wall. He was in the cottage, he realized, tucked into the comfy bed and wearing skull and crossbone themed pajamas. He shifted slightly and realized that he was definitely wearing a pull-up but, thankfully, it wasn’t wet. He felt a slight twist of shame in his stomach and wondered when any of this would start to feel okay in his adult mind. 

His memories of last night were slightly hazy. He remembered work, Moxxie being pissed off at him, wanting to leave early, the cottage, something about pirates with Stolas in the bath….wait why did he take a bath?

A soft voice startled him from his reverie, “Darling? Are you awake?”

“Shit, you scared me there Stols. Yeah, I’m up,” he replied, looking over at Stolas.

“Oh, good! How are you feeling? Are we..big again?” Stolas asked, nervously. Was he imagining it, or did the bird look a bit guilty?

“Um..I guess I’m fine. And yeah, I’m big again…” he mumbled, feeling like a bit of an idiot sitting there in kiddie pajamas and a pull up in front of his boyfriend. 

“Would you like an adult moment to reset? Or would you prefer to go back to sleep or back into your little space?” Stolas offered, timidly. Blitz stared at him, shocked. He seriously was asking him if he just wanted to go right back into little space? As soon as he woke up? Blitz wasn’t sure exactly what was going on but he needed to know now, while he was still big. 

“I think…I’d like to ask some questions before I answer that,” Blitz responded carefully, “Can we turn a light on, please?” 

“Certainly, darling,” Stolas replied, and, with a flick of his wrist, the room flooded with light. Blitz winced at the sudden brightness, squinting as Stolas packed up the folder and crossed the room to sit next to Blitz on the bed. 

The owl cleared his throat, eyes darting back to the folders and then to Blitz over and over again. He fiddled with the feathers on his thighs, a sure sign that something was up and Stolas was trying to hide it from him. 

“What..what would you like to know, dearest?” Stolas asked, trying for a smile, but only achieving a strained grimace. 

“Okay, well this is off to not a great start…let’s start with those. What the fuck’s up with those folders you keep looking over at? You look sketchy as fuck, Stols. What’re you doing over there?” Blitz nods to the stack of paperwork sitting on the small table next to the rocking chair.

“Ah, that. Well…you see, darling. You had a rather hard day yesterday, and I figured, you didn’t seem up for staying late at the office and completing all those files. I offered to do them myself after you’d been treated for that burn and had some rest. I’ve nearly finished although, it might be useful for you to take a look and make sure I haven’t missed anything,” Stolas rambled nervously. 

“Slow down there, Stols! What do you mean you offered to finish the paperwork? How did you even get those? And why do you look all fucking guilty?” Blitz asked, suspicously.

“Well…I…you see…” Stolas stammered nervously. He fiddled with his feathers, carding his talons over the top of his head. His leg bounced, restlessly and his eyes darted all over the room, looking everywhere except at Blitz. 

Blitz felt his chest tighten in anxiety and his tail wound tight around his waist, “Stolas…” he began, dangerously, “What the fuck happened? Why are you acting scared?”

Stolas gulped. It was never a good sign when Blitz dropped the 'Stols' in favor of 'Stolas'.

“I’m not scared! I’m just…a bit worried I suppose…” he sighed, “Well, there’s no getting out of this, I suppose,” Stolas took a deep breath, “You called me from your office yesterday and told me you weren’t feeling well. I confirmed that you meant you wished to go to the cottage and you were going to portal home but…you couldn’t. The crystal wouldn’t work for you, so I opened a portal and collected you myself.”

Blitz furrowed his eyebrows. He vaguely remembered that happening but something still felt wrong. 

“Okay, and?” he prompted, gesturing for the owl to finish his recollection of the previous night. 

“Yes, well…when I arrived, it seemed…you may have already…” Stolas continued, flustered and wring his hands. 

Blitz’s tail thrashed in irritation, “Spit it out, Stols,” he growled. 

“You’d already regressed,” he blurted out. Blitz face sapped of all it’s color, and he continued on hurriedly, “But I don’t think anyone knew what was happening except for me. You were much older than you’ve ever regressed and neither Moxxie nor Millie seemed to understand what was happening. I convinced them it was due to your burns. I told them they were quite severe and that I would heal them with my magic rather than allowing them to apply first aid. An honestly, darling, they did look as though they were seriously painful.”

The imp gaped at him, opened his mouth, and shut it again a look of horror spreading across his face. When Blitz said nothing, Stolas continued, “Moxxie was rather convinced that the injuries could be treated in the office and you should remain to finish the files from your clients. I could tell by then that you weren’t up for it and since you weren’t responding, I told him that you required more medical attention for the burns than they were able to provide and offered to take the case files home for you to work on when you felt better. They seemed willing to accept this answer and I portaled us to the cottage. Now, I’m just…getting a jump start so to speak. I really don’t think they had any idea, darling, please, please say something.” 

Blitz continued to stare in panicked silence for a few moments before he spoke again, “I think…I think I’d like that adult moment now,” he murmured. Stolas nodded, his heart sinking. He knew they should have discussed this kind of scenario earlier. Now, Blitz was never going to agree to this again. Then again, he thought somberly, he might not be able to choose anymore. This regression certainly hadn’t been purposeful. It seemed to be bleeding over into his life more quickly than he ever anticipated. 

Blitz rose silently from the bed and looked around for his adult clothes. 

“On the bathroom counter,” Stolas said, quietly and Blitz jumped again.

“Huh?” he responded, head tilting to the side. 

“Your adult clothes, your phone, your mother’s pendant are all on the bathroom counter for you. So are any supplies you may need to change,” Stolas replied in a soft, yet matter of fact voice. 

“Thanks…” Blitz replied, blindsided yet again by the thoughtfulness of his boyfriend. He made his way to the bathroom and saw, just as he had been promised, a clean set of adult clothes- boxers, his Horse Girl shirt, and a pair of loose pajama shorts. It was like Stolas had anticipated that he would wake before he had to go into work. Or…or he figured he wouldn’t want to show his face at work the next day anyways. He was right either way.

He pulled off the pirate themed pajamas, privately thinking they weren’t so bad…he could probably even be convinced to wear them in his adult mind. Then he removed the pull-up and threw it away, feeling incredibly grateful that he hadn’t pissed the bed last night. It was probably due to not really having a full night’s sleep, but still. Little victories. Then he dressed himself swiftly, looping his mothers pendant onto a spare chain and tucking it into his shirt. 

He splashed some water on his face and checked his messages. Three unread from Moxxie and two from Millie. One from Loona. He groaned and opened his phone reluctantly. He went to Loona’s first, hoping that because she had already left for the day before the last mission, she may have missed his little shit show and therefore have the least problematic message. 

Loonie Toonie:

Hey, asshole, maybe tell me next time you’re going somewhere with the bird. I was expecting you home. Fatass messaged to say you got hurt. Put some ice on it and text me, dick head. 

He laughed and groaned, internally. He had worried her. He hated that he made her upset but still…she worried about him!

Me:

Hey loonie, srry bowt tht. Im good now. Stols fxed it wif majik. Taking a sik day tmrrw. See u l8er. Luv u

Smiling, he opened the next message from Millie. 

Mills:

Hey, B! Just checkin to see how you’re doin’

Mills:

Message me when you can…worried about you. 

He felt a twinge of regret. Millie was his best friend aside from Fizz…maybe he should…no. Absolutely not. He shook himself and crafted a reply. 

Me: 

Hey Mills…srry 4 the skar. Im doin ok butt im gunna tak a sik day tmmrw.

Groaning internally he shifted to Moxxie’s messages, not looking forward to reading them since their interaction yesterday. When he got to them, he stared at a wall of text. These were…going to be impossible to work through…he chewed his bottom lip, considering what might happen if he responded without actually reading them. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, but…reading was a fucking chore. 

He pocketed the phone and reached for the doorknob. He took a deep breath before opening it. Light spilled out into the darkened hallway, but he could make out a similar light from the direction of the kitchen. The air filled with the rich, sweet smell of coffee and Blitz followed it, until he found Stolas, sitting at the table, not unlike their first morning after in the cottage, pouring coffee over a cup of ice. This time, instead of writing in his own little notebook, he was absorbed in one of IMP’s case files. Blitz approached slowly and cleared his throat.

“Whatcha got there, Stols?” he inquired, hopping up on the table with faux ease. The owl looked up, guilt etched in his features. He tried half heartedly to cover up the file with a taloned hand before sighing deeply.

“The paperwork you were meant to fill out before you went home.”

Blitz winced at the implications of his unfinished work being in Stolas’ ebony talons.

“Ah,” he responded, blandly. 

“I really don’t mind, darling!” Stolas replied hastily, to the smaller demon’s tone, “You know I love words.”

Blitz nodded, “Yeah, I know. I just…I’m worried this might make it pretty hard to do my job. I mean, what if I slip in front of a client? Or on a job? I could cost my business its reputation, or put my team at risk. How do I make sure it doesn’t happen like that again? I don’t want anyone finding out and I definitely don’t want anyone getting hurt because of it.”

Stolas hummed in agreement, “Including yourself. I am worried as well, dear. I didn’t anticipate this happening so soon after we began. The only thing I can think is that you must have really needed this. It must have unlocked something in you and now, it’s becoming a reflexive coping skill.”

Blitz paled, fidgeting in his seat. “I don’t want that happening again. I already made Moxxie and Millie super suspicious. They both already texted me about it.”

“Oh,” inquired Stolas, with a faux lightness to his tone, “And what did they have to say about it?”

“Mille just wanted me to check in and see if I was good. Loona texted me telling me that next time I need to message her.”

“Hmm. And Moxxie? He had something to say as well?” Stolas inquired innocently.

“Well…yeah. Lots actually. That’s the problem….I…it’s kinda hard to make out what the fuck he’s getting at when he types a damn book like this,” he shoves the phone into Stolas’ hands roughly, still open to Moxxie’s messages, his faces glowing. Stolas glances meaningfully at Blitz’s defensive posture and then back at the phone, before beginning to read aloud, tactfully ignoring Blitz’s quiet exhale of relief. 

“Sir, I am not sure what in Hell possessed you yesterday, but your behavior was even more erratic than usual. Your normal bullshit is obnoxious, but that shit you pulled during our hit almost cost us our lives. And then after. You acting like a wounded little ba-” Stolas stopped here, tensing as he watched Blitz sucks in a breath. Blitz looked up, noting the pause and scowled.

“Keep reading birdbrain. If you’re gonna read it, do it right. Don’t just take out the shit I wouldn’t like. I’m fucking big boy. Literally. I can take it,” he assured him, crossing his arms almost defiantly across his chest. The way he looked downcast at the floor ruined the illusion slightly, however, Stolas was unwilling to leave a job half done when he was trying to help his love. 

“You acting like a wounded little baby,” Blitz flinched but Stolas continued plowing on, “was especially infuriating. Millie was in a state fretting over you and I expect that’s exactly what you were hoping for: sympathy so she’d keep me from going in on you. Well, think again. There was no need for that bullshit and you can bet if you pull that on me and Millie again, there will be HELL to pay for it. You can’t just go around, nearly killing people and then act like a wounded little bitch and cry for Stolas to come take you home. You are our boss, our EMPLOYER, and frankly it’s unbecoming,” Stolas finished. 

Blitz sat there, working his jaw, silently fuming.

“There are more. Should I continue?” Stolas asked, mildly. 

“Are they all like that?” Blitz growled, bouncing his knee and clenching his fists. 

“No, not quite. He seems to become increasingly apologetic and concerned with the last one reading: I’m sorry, Blitz. That was a lot over the line. I don’t know what’s up with you but I guess if you leave work early, that's probably because something is up. Take the day off tomorrow. Millie, Loona, and I got it handled here. Just let us know if you need something,” Stolas finished looking up. Blitz closed his eyes, let out a deep sigh and buried his face in the palms of his hands, groaning slightly. 

“Fuck,” his comment comes, muffled from between his fingers. His elbows rested on his knees, head bowed to the floor. He let out another growl of frustration. 

“Well…Stolas,” he begins finally, “I fucking tried. We both did. But I think that we both know this needs to stop now.”

Stolas felt his heart plummet. For a moment, he thought wildly that Blitz was ending things with him entirely, but then, bringing himself back down, he realized that he meant age regression. He still felt a pang of disappointment and pity but the panic subsided. 

“I know you spent a lot of time and money on this…trying to help me,” Blitz began guiltily, “And I’m not saying it wasn’t nice and all. But I can’t keep doing this. I started slipping on the job. I was hurt. Not even badly, and all I wanted was…you. I can’t do that. My job means being in danger all the time and trying to keep Moxxie and Millie and sometimes Loona safe. I can’t go about sniveling everytime i get a boo-boo or someone huwts my feewings,” he says mockingly with a bitter expression.

“Well…” Stolas began, after a beat, “I won’t force you, you know I won’t. The money and effort are well worth any peace I could give you, however temporary it may be. Although, perhaps this won’t have been for nothing. After all, you haven’t had nightmares in over a week.”

“Yeah,” Blitz began slowly, “Maybe, I’m already fixed,” he said cheerfully. 

“Then there wouldn’t really be any need for that. And…if worst comes to worst, I can always sleep here if I go back to waking you up every Satan-damned night again,” he cut himself off at the fierce expression on Stolas’ face.

“I would never ask, nor want you to sleep all alone after a nightmare,” Stolas said hotly, “You are my love and when you need safety and comfort, I would do anything to provide that to you as I know you would do for me,” Stolas finished, his eyes blazing with determination. Blitz held up his hands in mock surrender.

“All right, all right. Fuck me for suggesting we make use of the space. I’m still sorry. I just…I can’t. I can’t let myself hurt anyone else while I’m trying to do this,” he looked up at Stolas imploringly, hoping that he would understand. He thought he saw a flash of disappointment cloud the owl’s features, but before he could be sure, they had smoothed themselves into a reassuring smile. 

“It’s okay, darling, really. I understand that the safety of you and your friends comes first. It makes perfect sense. Although…” he hesitated, working his jaw. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to discuss his concerns on the matter of quitting, lest he sound as though he was trying to coax Blitz to continue against his will. 

“Although what? Spit it out, birdie. I thought we were trying to be honest with each other here,” Blitz was glaring at him, facing him with his back straight and his arms crossed defiantly, as if daring Stolas to argue with him. 

“Well…today’s regression wasn’t exactly intentional, right?” he began, anxiously fiddling with the feathers on his inner wrist. 

Blitz raised an eyebrow, “No shit, Stolas. Sorry, but I mean…get on with the point if you don’t mind.”

Stolas swallowed dryly and continued, “Well, the trouble is that if that happens again…you’re asking me not to help you through it. What are you hoping to do if you involuntarily regress at work or really anywhere again?”

Blitz looked up in alarm, “Wait, are you saying that might happen again even if we don’t keep doing the little thing?” 

Stolas looked uncomfortable, “I’m not really sure, darling. I wasn’t expecting to have you slip so easily after such a short time but it must have been that you needed this so desperately that after any amount of kindness shown to you in a child-like mind, you began to crave it in times in which your adult mind normally could cope alone. Almost like it was overcompensating for what you missed out on as a little one,” he chanced a nervous glance at Blitz’s expression and saw that he had crumpled. His expression ran from shocked and horrified, to angry, to dejected. 

“Fuck me. What do we do then?” he asked, letting out a huff as he scratched the back of his head.

“Well…I think from where I sit, there are several options,” Stolas began slowly.

“First, you could attempt to stop cold turkey anyways. It could be a matter of time and you could be fine.” Blitz nodded, but chewed his bottom lip, still worried about what might become of him should he attempt this and then regress involuntarily. 

“Another option could be to take time off from work and gradually decrease the amount of time spent regressing until it seems you don’t regress instinctually anymore. Although, I am not sure if that would work or how long it would take.” Blitz considered this option. It seemed safer, sure, but it had the drawback of having to take time off from work and that would be difficult to explain. 

“There is also the option…” Stolas hesitated, “Of choosing to inform one or more of your employees of the situation. You could assure them it was a temporary experimental therapy procedure, but one that you have decided to end due to the danger it poses to all of I.M.P. Then they could keep an eye out and summon me if need be to help safely bring you back to an adult state of mind. Then we do that as many times as need be to help you move away from it as a coping mechanism. It might help to reduce time in the field as it would be easier to manage your emotions while not in direct danger, although I know it isn’t a task you would enjoy keeping full-time.”

Blitz gaped at Stolas, incredulous, “Isn’t the whole point of this to avoid other people finding out?”

Stolas raised an eyebrow in return, “I thought that the point was to keep you and the others at I.M.P. safe?” 

Blitz glowered at him for a moment before dropping his gaze to the floor. The options seemed to swim in front of him. The first one would be lovely, but it hadn’t really worked out for him in the past to pretend nothing was wrong and hope for the best. Then the second plan…it had its merits, including allowing himself more little time before he eventually had to stop. However, it wasn’t just time-consuming, it was impossible to know exactly how long it would take to work or if it would work at all. He could lose the business and his friends by that point. Then, there was this third option. Telling at least one employee. He didn’t feel it was possible. It was so difficult to let Stolas treat him like this. But…he reasoned…they didn’t need to care for him. They only needed to trigger an alarm system for Stolas to come snap him out of it. It might be that he needed to take on office duty a bit more often, but this option at least allowed him the ability to go on missions still. It meant that he might even still get to enjoy Stolas babying him before he woke from it…he really was going to miss this. 

He took a breath and spoke again, “Can-can I get a day or two to think about it? I mean, I don’t have to go in tomorrow and then, it’s the weekend…so there’s still time.”

Stolas nodded, placing a talon over Blitz’s clenched fist, “Of course, darling. Whatever you decide, I will support you. In the meantime, is there something you want to do with your day off?”

Blitz hummed for a moment, mulling over the decision before speaking so quietly Stolas had to strain to hear him, even with his enhanced auditory abilities.

“S-since I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to do this again..maybe we could…have one last day of it? I-I just…I don’t think little me really knew it was going to be the last time…” he felt his throat constrict involuntarily and he swallowed hard, his eyes stinging, “I-it doesn’t seem fair to him…just to never do it again when he didn’t know.” 

Stolas said nothing of Blitz referring to the little him as something separate from himself. He felt a strong surge of compassion for his partner, watching him feel the loss of being little. He nodded, his voice cracking in his vain attempt to remain confident, “Of course, darling. I would be happy to give you- I mean, him, that. Shall we go back to bed then?”

Blitz nodded slowly. Stolas rose and offered him a hand, leading him to the nursery. Blitz didn’t speak a word, he stared at his feet as Stolas guided him down the hall and into the dimly lit room. They crawled into bed, Blitz curled facing away from Stolas and stared out into the dark, trying to hide the tears running down his cheeks.