Archive of Our Own

It was the end of Stage 17. Jonas was lying on the stretcher, the relaxing massages on his sore and tired muscles had ended. The thought that he had already lost the Tour made his head pound desperately. He could pretend that the accident he suffered in April hadn't affected his body, he could and he did. He faked it so well that some people assumed he was at his best. Jonas laughed at the thought, if this was his best then he was a big shit.

His thoughts were interrupted by Wout who entered the room and handed him his cell phone, on which a video of Tadej was visible.

“I took 2 seconds ahead of Jonas today, and I’m happy with that.”

"Yes, and?" Jonas asks, handing the cell phone back to Wout.

“Are you going to let him brag like that? Aren’t you going to do anything about it?" Wout asks indignantly.

"What should I do? I did my best to try to beat him, but I couldn't, he's clearly better than me." Jonas says shrugging his shoulders

“Yes, but you have to do something, you are his direct rival, like the biggest rival at the moment.”

"Oh really? and what do you advise? fuck with my biggest rival, like you?" Jonas watches Wout blush and turn his face away slightly.

“Wout, he didn’t do anything wrong, he just spoke facts. The best answer I can give is to beat him in the race and it hasn’t been be easy. Please leave him alone, I don't want any disagreements between us.”

Wout agrees and lies down on the stretcher next to him, preparing for the relaxation session, while Jonas leaves for the hotel where the team will be staying.

On the way to the hotel Jonas couldn't stop thinking about the video that Wout had shown him, not about what Tadej said, he wasn't really interested in that, but about Tadej himself.

If there was one thing Jonas was jealous of Tadej, it was how good the younger looked after the race. He took out his cell phone, opened Instagram and found the video he wanted to see again.

He liked how the younger man's freckles were more prominent and how you could see that his eyes were gray and not green or blue as other people said. Jonas has always found Tadej drop-dead gorgeous since the first time he saw him, although, he doesn't know when he started to find him attractive too. The Danish insisted on saying that it was Wout's influence, that the oldest was leading him down bad paths since he had fallen in love with Mathieu, but Jonas knew that was obviously a lie.

When he arrived at the hotel, Jonas was surprised to see people wearing UAE shirts. Were they staying in the same hotel? Jonas frowned, he didn't think it was very normal for this to happen in a race as big as the Tour de France.

Jonas politely greeted all the people there and rushed to the room he shared with Wout.

The Danish was unable to avoid the weight he felt on his shoulders, he knew that the Tour was probably lost and as much as he wanted to carry it out normally, he wasn't able to. Leaving the title would cost more than he planned.

Jonas was looking for some clean clothes after taking a shower when he felt his cell phone vibrate.

Wout: Sorry, you're going to have to sleep alone today. You need something to call me.

Jonas rolled his eyes, he didn't want to admit it but he felt a hint of jealousy of Wout's relationship with Mathieu. Having someone to lean on during the Tour is quite overwhelming and Jonas would like to have someone to pour all his frustrations and happiness into, someone who supports him. He had Wout of course, but as you can see, Mathieu had him much more than Jonas, which was normal.

He remembers how complicated Wout and Mathieu's relationship was at the beginning. Mathieu has always been very reserved and also quite a son of a bitch in Jonas's view. The Danish frowned as he remembered the times Wout came to him crying when Mathieu told him that what they had was just sex, but he also remembers his best friend's happiness when he was asked to be his boyfriend by none other than Mathieu Van der Poel, after fighting for him for so long and never thinking about giving up.

Jonas lies down in bed in need of a good night's sleep but his mind isn't cooperating with him. Thirty minutes have passed and the only thing he can do is overthink about Tadej's video. He can't get the younger’s pretty face out of his head until he gives up and looks for the nearest sweater, leaving the room, maybe getting some air would me good

The night was cold, something not very strange for him, he is used to cold. Jonas leaves the hotel slowly, looking at a bench a few meters from the exit. He sat and looked ahead watching cars pass in front of the hotel parking lot which was occupied by Visma and UAE vehicles.

Jonas wondered how the hotel wasn't surrounded by people since both teams were there. It took a while but he finally got used to the fans and fame, he just doesn't quite know how to deal with them yet.

“Hi.” Jonas was startled when he felt a presence beside him, the familiar voice registering who it was even before he turned his face.

“Tadej? What are you doing here?" Jonas looks confused at the younger boy.

“probably the same as you. What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep, I came to get some fresh air." Jonas says looking at his hands and moving his knuckles strangely.

“same." Tadej says. “eh… is that insomnia?"

“i don’t know. Normally I don't have any problems sleeping but today my head is racing. I think that's it." Jonas says, doing everything he can to avoid eye contact with Tadej.

“So, you’re nervous?” Tadej asks quietly, as if he wants Jonas not to hear.

“I don’t know. I think I only realized now that the title of tour winner will no longer be in my hands." The oldest says, trying to forget who is next to him.

"Wait, why? You know a lot can still happen, right?" Tadej says turning to Jonas.

“Oh yeah, like what? you will fall in all the remaining stages?"

Tadej laughs nasally .

“I'm not proud of this possible victory, Jonas." Tadej says looking down as well. Tadej's sudden change draws Jonas's attention, who finally turns his head to look into the youngest's bright gray eyes.

"What do you mean? You were clearly the best on this Tour, you’re the best cyclist in the world." Jonas states with conviction and Tadej laughs.

"I know I'm good but I think you're better than me in some aspects. In the last three years I've learned a lot from you, a lot of who I am today is derived from this rivalry we have. I don't think it's fair to win the Tour knowing that just a few months ago you almost... you know, almost died." Tadej says looking into Jonas's eyes, which were fixed on his face.

Jonas was silent for a few seconds before speaking.

“No Tadej, you will be a fair champion, I’m fine, I’m at my best like every year.”

“Fine, I won’t go against your word, but I want you to know how I feel about this. I should go.” Tadej says and Jonas watches him get up.

“I'm going too." the Danish gets up and follows Tadej who puts his hands in his pocket and shrinks from the cold.

Just before the hotel entrance, Jonas watches Tadej quickly put his hands in his pockets, touching the pockets of his pants and sweatshirt. Jonas gives him a confused look.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I forgot my room card.” Tadej continues to search desperately while Jonas watches him stand still.

“Can't you tell your roommate to open the door for you?” Jonas raises an eyebrow.

“We are in single rooms, there’s no roommate.”

“You can ask for a new one at reception, probably.” the shorter one says, shrugging.

“ I didn't remember that. Thank you Jonas!" Tadej says and runs into the hotel. Jonas frowns. What the fuck?

He walks into the hotel at his own pace and sees Tadej with his head in his hands on the sofa, he looks at the reception and sees that no one was there, just a paper saying “Sorry, we will be back tomorrow at 5:30.”

Jonas intertwines glances between Tadej and the paper and sighs, may God give him strength for what he will do next.

“Tadej." Jonas calls in a moderate tone, making the youngest look at him. He has tears in the corners of his eyes and they threaten to come out at any moment. “You don't need to be like that, po-"

"Why am I so irresponsible?" Tadej says, getting up and pacing from side to side, like a dizzy cockroach.

“Tadej, lis-”

"If I call anyone on the team, they'll kill me and never let me leave the room again."

“TADJE!" Jonas raises his voice, making the younger boy look at him. "It's okay, you can sleep with me." he says shortly.

“What? Don’t you have a roommate?”

“No, I’m alone.” Jonas says trying to avoid thousands of questions about why Wout is sleeping outside.

“Really? Are you sure?"

Jonas nods and motions for Tadej to follow him.

Tadej was already lying in bed when Jonas came out of the bathroom and got into bed, lying on his back, just like Tadej.

“Jonas” Tadej whispers a few minutes later.

"Hmm."

“Thank you. You've a really good heart."

"It's okay. I would do this for anyone." Jonas says with a shrug and bends his knees.

“But I’m not just anyone, right? I'm your direct rival, the one who's about to take the Tour trophy out of your hands, and yet you let me in."

"Come on Tadej, it's not like I'm going to leave you on the street." Jonas says Tadej turns to him, observing how the moonlight reflected the two scars on Jonas's body.

Unconsciously, Tadej takes his right hand to the scar on the shoulder and slowly traces it. The Slovenian can feel Jonas's body shiver and his breathing getting stronger.

Little by little, Tadej approaches and puts his lips to the spot, kissing the injured skin. Jonas closes his eyes and sighs.

“I was so scared when I saw you glued to the asphalt on television. I’m sorry I didn’t call you or send you a message.” Tadej whispers against your scar with his eyes closed.

“Afraid you won’t run against me again?” Jonas whispers back, the words that left his mouth almost imperceptible.

"Afraid of not seeing you again." Tadej says.

Jonas feels incompetent, his entire alphabet of words has escaped his mouth and the only thing he does is open and close without meaning. The Danish can see from the corner of his eye that Tadej still has his eyes closed and then slowly turns his head to the side, stretching his chin and leaving a small kiss on the youngest’s beautiful mouth.

After the contact, Tadej opens his eyes, looking directly into Jonas's blue eyes. They look at each other for a while and Jonas starts to regret what he did, due to the youngest's lack of reaction, but he soon calms down when he feels a hand crawl over his bare waist, fingers feeling every inch of the Danish’s skin.

Tadej gets closer to Jonas and pulls him, turning completely towards him. The youngest's hand wanders up his body, until he reaches Jonas's cheek with his thumb, keeping the rest of his fingers behind the oldest's ear. Jonas takes a deep breath before closing his eyes and feeling Tadej's mouth against his again, now with more intensity. The Slovenian's lips fit perfectly against his, his breath is warm and has the aftertaste of some mint gum that Tadej ate.

Jonas noticed that he was very quiet and surreptitiously put his hand around Tadej's neck. They kissed for a while until Jonas pulled away, remembering the conversation he had with Wout earlier.

“What?” Tadej says confused.

“What are we doing?” Jonas asks quietly and Tadej caresses his waist.

“We’re kissing, enjoying each other’s mouths.” Jonas blushes at the expression.

"What is happening?"

“You’re my biggest rival, we shouldn’t be doing this. You could be using me."

Tadej frowns. “What the fuck Jonas? You were the one who kissed me first ." The Slovenian says, the expression on his face visibly confused.

“You're right. Sorry." Jonas huffs, calming down. "It's just that you're so…" Jonas pauses, gaining courage. "beautiful."

Tadej smiles, showing his straight teeth, that smile that Jonas could faint from if he looked at it for too long. The protruding dimples that Jonas wanted to kiss. The Danish didn't know he had so much admiration for the youngest’s face, but seeing him so close changed his thinking, maybe Wout really led him down bad paths.

“You're not very ugly yourself either." Tadej says laughing and Jonas also laughs giving a slight push on the younger's shoulder. Tadej stops laughing, showing only his smile from ear to ear and caresses Jonas's cheek with his thumb. “You're beautiful"

Jonas blushed and felt butterflies rise in his stomach, what was Tadej doing with him? This was not in his plans. His thoughts were cut off by the Slovenian's lips on his once again. Tadej left Jonas four kisses and stopped.

“We should sleep, it's getting late and I have to get up early to go out without anyone seeing me." Tadej pouts. “I've wanted to kiss you all night."

Jonas smiles. “I'm sure you'll have more opportunities to do so."

“Is this an invitation to sleep together again?” Tadej smiles.

“I think so." the Danish smiles back. “Good night."

“Good night, baby.” Tadej says kissing Jonas again, who blushes intensely at the nickname.

The next day, Jonas woke up with some light on his face and checked the time. 5:15 am, the sun hadn’t risen yet and the man next to him had to leave. Jonas turned his face to the side and saw Tadej sleeping soundly. The Slovenian was facing him, one of his legs was in the middle of Jonas's and his arm was across his chest, with a firm hand resting on the ribs next to his chest. Jonas smiled at the pout that Tadej's lips formed.

Jonas was getting ready to wake up the youngest when he felt the sound of the door opening and was startled, reaching for the thin sheet to cover Tadej's body. Wout entered the room, with Matheiu behind him.

“What is he doing here?” Jonas asks indignantly.

“I can ask you the same thing. What is he doing here?” Wout says, standing in the middle of the room as Mathieu closes the door.

Jonas blushed and covered Tadej's face with the sheet, who was still sleeping.

“I can explain.” Jonas says getting up and putting on a sweater to cover his naked body.

“I think you took “fucking my biggest rival, like you” too seriously.” Wout says and Mathieu laughs.

“Shut up Wout, no one fucked anyone. You own me an explanation too. What is he doing here, how did you manage to get him in here. This is dangerous Wout."

“Calm down, little bird." Mathieu says laughing and Jonas grimaces at the nickname. “We entered through the back."

“Yes, I forgot my running pants and when I arrived the hotel was full of crazy fans so I had to come from behind, but Mathieu didn't want to let me come alone." Wout says smiling at Mathieu who blows him a kiss.

Jonas looks disgusted. “Okay, grab your things and go.”

“I think the room still-”

“What the fuck?" Wout's voice is cut off by a disheveled and just woken up Tadej. The Slovenian rubs his eyes thinking he's dreaming. “What are you doing here?"

“This is my room Tadej.” Wout responds

“Not you, him.”

“Oh” Wout says. “We can explain this later, now-”

“We are together, Tadej. Me and Wout. As a couple.” Mathieu says it straight and Tadej just opens and closes his mouth, failing to say anything.

"Yes, that. As I was saying, Jonas is the one who owes explanations. Why would he be here for anything other than fucking." Wout says laughing.

"Ey!" Tadej says and gets up, not caring about exposing his perfect body and walks to Jonas's side. “Why are you talking to him like that? Are you really his best friend? What we did is none of your business until Jonas thinks it should be your business. What if we fucked ? Do you have a problem with it?” Tadej says. Jonas blushes and his eyes widen at the words. “Come on Wout, I’m pretty sure Jonas didn’t interfere in your business when you started seeing Mathieu.”

Wout looks seriously at Tadej and nods, taking what he was looking for and leaving the room with Mathieu.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you and Wout shared the room?” Tadej asks.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to lie to you, I was just protected them.” Jonas says looking at the floor.

“It’s okay.” Tadej says, placing a finger on Jonas’s chin to lift the oldest’s head and leave a small kiss on his lips. “Good morning, baby.”

"Tadej…" Jonas sighs when the kisses move down to his neck. “You need to go."

“Um… I don’t want to go” Tadej hugs his waist and buries his head in Jonas’s neck.

“Come on, we'll see each other again tonight." Jonas kisses the youngest's cheek.

“Do you promise?” he pouts.

“Yes.” Jonas smiles as Tadej stands up and looks at him. “See you at the front line.”

"Yes. I never want to lose sight of you.” Tadej says kissing Jonas' lips once again, as if it depended on it. “Bye.” He says leaving the room. Jonas just looks at the youngest. He didn't know what this was but he didn't want to stop.