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“I’ve thought of something about me that you can’t argue is pretty.”
Bo-Katan and Ahsoka were back in her - or, she supposed she should think, their - room, a few hours after their dance under the stars. It was the first birthday since leaving Satine that Bo had allowed herself to acknowledge, and with Ahsoka’s help, she felt she had halfway celebrated it.
She sat down on her side of the bed as she spoke. Ahsoka glanced over to her as she threw her nightshirt on. Bo smirked as she caught a quick glance of Ahsoka’s skin before the shirt covered everything.
“Oh really? And what’s that?” Ahsoka plopped down on the bed beside Bo, regarding her with a wry smile.
“My scar. The one on my forehead.” Bo stated, matter-of-factly and triumphantly. “That is definitely not pretty. It’s too visible, and it’s off-putting.”
Ahsoka hummed thoughtfully; “Hmm, you’re right. Scars aren’t pretty.”
“Exact—”
“Scars are hot .”
The comment caught Bo so off guard that she physically jumped a little. Ahsoka beamed. “What? I’m right. And yours is no exception to the rule. Actually I think yours made the rule. It’s so badass.”
Bo rolled her eyes in an attempt to hide the blush creeping into her cheeks. Ahsoka seemed to bring out a side in her she thought long gone. That terrified her, just a little. Ahsoka nudged her. “How’d you get that scar, anyway?”
Bo went quiet for a moment. She rarely let herself think about how she got any of her scars, and the one on her forehead was no exception; in fact, much like Ahsoka said, that scar made the rule.
“You know, it’s funny…” It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t funny at all. “I got it just after we met. The first time, y’know… the one we don’t really talk about?”
She expected Ahsoka to say something. She didn’t. She just nodded, and inched a little closer to Bo. Bo was glad to feel her presence just that little bit more. “Um… after you got away. Pre, he…” she choked on the name, and had to swallow. “He wanted me to come after you. He wanted me to find you and bring you back and… and kill you.”
Tears threatened in both her eyes and her voice. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t come after you again and hurt you. I don’t know what it was about you, but… I knew I couldn’t hurt you. Pre… didn’t like that.”
Silence. Regret started to creep in. It felt like the quiet stretched on forever, before Ahsoka finally broke it.
“He hurt you?” Ahsoka’s voice was small. Bo swallowed again and nodded. “And that’s how you got that scar?”
“Yeah.” Bo’s voice shook, and she knew if she tried to talk again, she’d start crying. That was a vulnerability she wasn’t sure she could afford herself. She could feel Ahsoka’s eyes on her.
“Let me see it.” The tenderness in Ahsoka’s voice threatened to shatter Bo entirely. So did her oh-so-gentle tug on Bo’s arm. “Come on. It’s just me. Let me see.”
Bo steeled herself before allowing herself to turn to Ahsoka and come undone. The gentleness in Ahsoka’s voice was even more present in her face. Bo didn’t know why she deserved that, after everything she’d done. But with Ahsoka, it never seemed to matter whether or not Bo deserved it. She got it regardless. And she was certainly getting it now.
“C’mere.” Ahsoka put a hand under Bo’s chin and softly tipped her face up, so that Bo’s eyes met Ahsoka’s; those eyes of sky and sea and everything inbetween. Bo could see that Ahsoka was studying her carefully, staring right into her very soul. She wouldn’t let anyone else look into her that deeply. Couldn’t.
She felt Ahsoka’s finger running over her scar. Ahsoka looked from it, to her eyes, and back. And then, in a move that would still shock Bo whenever she thought back on it (and she would think back on it, many, many times), Ahsoka leaned in and pressed her lips against the scar.
And really, that was what broke the dam.
Bo’s resulting sob shocked Ahsoka, who moved back a little. “I’m sorry. Did I do something wrong?”
Bo just shook her head and sobbed. “Sorry.” She stopped and took a breath. “Sorry. I’m okay. You didn’t do anything. I- I liked that. I just… sorry. Today’s been hard.”
“Yeah, I bet.” Ahsoka put a hand on Bo’s arm and Bo relaxed. Ahsoka didn’t need to do a lot to make her relax, though. Just being around her was enough. “Maybe you need to get some sleep.”
Bo wiped her eyes and nodded.
“Yeah. I think you’re right. Um… Soka?”
“Yeah?”
“Could you…” Bo gulped. What she was about to ask, she saw as something huge. Something that could be read into. Something that could turn Ahsoka away entirely. “Could you hold me, please? While I go to sleep, I mean?”
She had never seen anyone soften the way Ahsoka softened in that moment.
“Bo, of course. I’d be happy to. Come on. Lie down.”
Bo did just that, and Ahsoka did the same, holding her arms out to Bo. “C’mere.”
Bo moved over to Ahsoka and slid an arm around her waist, moving her head onto Ahsoka’s chest. The moment she felt Ahsoka’s arms around her, she knew the dam was about to break again - but this time, she didn’t think she minded. “Well someone’s feeling cuddly, aren’t they?”
Bo buried her face into Ahsoka’s chest and, despite all her attempts to fight it off, she broke down.
“Oh… oh, hey. Hey. It’s okay.” Ahsoka’s voice was the only thing cutting through Bo’s own heavy sobs and desperate breaths. She felt Ahsoka’s hand run through her hair. “It’s alright. I’m here, I got you. Let it out.”
Bo couldn't remember the last time she’d been told to just let it out , and not to suck it up . Letting it out felt so foreign; and yet, with Ahsoka, so easy.
She whimpered and clung to Ahsoka tighter. She felt a kiss against the top of her head. “You miss your sister, huh?”
Bo nodded; “So much.”
“Oh, you poor thing.” Ahsoka’s hand moved to Bo’s back, where she rubbed comforting circles up and down. “You just let it all out. It’s alright. I’m here. I think you need this.”
And that’s how they stayed - Bo sobbing, and Ahsoka holding her - until Bo’s sobs subsided, out of exhaustion, out of having no more tears to cry even if the ache in her chest still remained.
“Sorry.” She mentally flinched at how shaky and broken her voice sounded. She took a breath and brought a hand up to wipe her eyes.
“Don’t be. And hey. Let me get that.” Ahsoka pulled Bo’s hand down, and beat her to wiping her tears away. She kept hold of Bo’s hand. Bo’s heart contracted at the feeling. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know… is that okay?”
“Yeah, of course it is. You wanna stay all cuddled in?”
Bo nodded, and cuddled closer to Ahsoka again. “Aw. Alright. I’ve got you. You know, I kinda like this.”
Bo smiled a little.
“Me too. It’s nice. It makes me feel safe.”
“Well, you are safe when you’re with me.”
“I feel it.”
Bo felt Ahsoka’s hand trace down the side of her face, and her hair tucked behind her ear. A shiver went down her spine as she looked up, and her eyes met Ahsoka’s.
“I can’t believe you took that beating for me.” The softness was back in Ahsoka’s voice. Bo’s heart hurt for a second. “We barely knew each other… and we certainly didn’t like each other yet.”
Bo bit her lip and thought.
“I just… I couldn’t hurt you, Soka. I don’t know what it was, but the thought of going after you again turned my stomach. It’s like I knew you’d be important to me some day. Like I knew I could trust you. It’s how I knew to come to you to help me with… all of this. I was just surprised you said yes.”
“So was I.” Ahsoka chuckled. “I’d never seen you without your helmet on, though. When you took it off, I was shocked at young you were. I hadn’t expected it. And then those eyes… damnit, Kryze, those eyes of yours. I looked at them once and couldn't say no to you. Those eyes are your real weapons.”
Bo felt heat spreading into her cheeks. She smiled shyly and looked down. “Bo… if I’d known what he was doing to you… if I’d known all of it then, not now. I would’ve taken you with me. I wouldn’t have left you with him.”
Bo didn’t look back up.
“You didn’t even know me.”
“You didn’t know me either. That didn’t stop you. And I wouldn’t have had to know you to care about and to want to help a victim. I was a Jedi. That was my job… at least I thought it was.” Ahsoka sighed. Bo allowed herself to look up at her. “I care about you a lot, Bo. You really matter to me. You know that, don’t you?”
And Bo said something she never thought she’d say in response to that question.
“… you know, I think I actually do.”
Admitting that was with it, to see the smile on Ahsoka’s face. It made Bo want to smile, too.
“Good, pretty girl.” Ahsoka kissed Bo’s forehead. Bo wasn’t entirely sure why these kisses had started, but she was in no hurry to turn them away. She liked them. “Now you need to get some sleep. Want me to help? I have a Force Trick for it.”
I think your presence is a Force Trick in itself, Bo thought. But she didn’t say it. Instead she said: “I’d like that a lot. Stay like this?”
“Anything for the birthday girl.” Ahsoka adjusted her grip on Bo to hold her more firmly. Bo liked it. “You don’t have to be the protector tonight. I’ll protect you.”
“… thank you, Soka.”
“It’s alright. Now settle down and close your eyes, and before you know it you’ll be sound asleep.”
I like the sound of that.
Bo cuddled down into Ahsoka and closed her eyes. She felt Ahsoka’s hand running through her hair, and heard her mutter something under her breath, though she couldn’t make out what it was. All she knew was that suddenly, sleep was creeping over every inch of her, pulling her in.
And before she fell entirely, she heard three final words, clear as day.
“Happy birthday, Princess.”