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Summary
There was so much hatred. So much rage in his heart, he could feel it clawing at his chest until he could no longer breathe. He hated Dino, he hated the coach, Marvin, all of them, for everything they had taken away from him. They had taken his childhood and stomped it beneath their feet. They had done that to his spirit. They had done everything they could to stamp that out in him, the flame of hope an ever-melting candle, getting smaller with each day, each month, each year, that he didn’t get better.
Ash didn’t know how to get better. Whenever he thought things were getting there, and the flashbacks were less strong, less present, they would come back in full force, and he wouldn’t be able to breathe, eventually unable to think about anything else for days.
***After surviving the attack from Lao, Ash uses a very unhealthy coping mechanism to deal with his PTSD: self harm. He is worried about Eiji finding out, and does his best to prevent that from happening. But secrets can't be kept forever.