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Harry looked out the big glass window. Raindrops where sliding down the glass and he could make out a few people outside running, trying to escape the heavy rain. The weather fit his mood. Maybe someone up there knew that he was going to be feeling this way. Maybe they wanted the scenery to fit his feelings. Cold and depressed.
It’s not like Harry always was like this. He was the cheeky one, the other half of the funny, loud and mischievous bromance Larry Stylinson. And he loved being part of it, he really did. And he did love Louis.
It was just that sometimes he couldn’t keep up the happy façade, couldn’t try and be all smiles and laughs. And most if it all, he couldn’t pretend to not be in love with one of his band mates, one of his best friends.
He tried to suppress his feelings, he really did. But after almost two years of hiding and pretending that every fleeting touch from the blonde, every tiny contact didn’t make him feel a hundred times hotter and didn’t make him feel like there was a swarm of butterflies flying around in his belly. It became harder.
At first he didn’t even know he was in love with his Irish band mate. It started with little things like watching him a tad longer then he were supposed to or small touches lingering longer than needed.
But then Harry started thinking about how beautiful his laugh was and how addictive it sounded. And before he knew it he started wishing that the blonde was laughing because of him. But he pushed aside those thoughts, because you couldn’t think like that about your guy best friend.
The day they lost the X-Factor was one of his worst days. Harry couldn’t bear to look at his tear stained face. He couldn’t bear the way those light blue eyes became dull and filled with sadness. And the worst part was he couldn’t do a thing about it. All he could do was give him a hug and say that everything would be okay and that they would try and try until the end. They’re not only One Direction but best mates, right? He had given him a sad smile and Harry felt his chest tighten. That was the day he found out that he didn’t like that smile on Niall’s face.
But things were starting to look up for them. They got signed by Sony Music the day after the X-Factor. And they had their own single out! So they celebrated it with eating at Nandos, Niall’s idea of course. That day Harry didn’t eat much. He instead was watching Niall eat, watching that big smile on his face. The way his eyes would light up when the waiter sat down a new plate of peri peri chicken in front of him.
“You’re not going to eat that?” he remembered Niall asking him. He saw the way Niall looked at his food and pushed it toward him. “No, to excited! Here, you can have it” And he’s pretty sure that the way Niall was beaming at him is the reason he forgot to breathe.
Since that day, Harry never eats up his food when they’re at Nandos.
The day Louis came up with the idea to post a shipping contest on his Tumblr, was the day everything became clear to Harry. The boys didn’t actually want to, but Louis wouldn’t take no for and answer. He never did.
Of course Larry Stylinson won. They were all expecting Ziam to be a good number two so when Niam almost beat Larry, they were all a surprised. Niall laughed it off and Liam hugged him, and said “Aw, we have almost as many crazy fan girls shipping us as Larry Stylinson!”
Harry had stormed out of the room. At first they were confused to why he had stormed out, but Louis had brushed it off as Harry being jealous of that Niam was almost as big as Larry Stylinson. Of course the boys believed him, even if Niall was a little bit suspicious. Louis only grinned at him and turned around to log off of his Tumblr.
Later that day Louis confronted Harry. He found him lying in his bed and glaring at the ceiling. He didn’t even notice Louis coming in before the Doncaster lad had started speaking.
“You okay there, Curly?” Harry had flinched at Louis’ voice. It was a mix of seriousness and concern. And it wasn’t everyday that the loudmouth, the jokester of the group was serious. And he didn’t like that tone coming from Louis.
He didn’t want to lie to his best friend, so he told him the truth. “I don’t know.”And it was true. Harry had no idea why the thought of Liam and Niall together made his insides boil. He was angry. Why wasn’t there more people shipping Narry? It only got 12 votes! Niam had 79.
He frowned. Why did that even matter? Yes, him and Niall have been becoming closer so of course he wanted to people to see that. But surely he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about it that much!
And then it struck him like lightning. He was royally fucked. He had fallen for Niall Horan, his best friend.
And with that knowledge he started sobbing. He let everything out. He felt Louis put his arms around him, and that only made him sob harder. Because what was worse than falling in love with your best friend? Your best guy friend. Your best guy friend that you are in the same band as. Your best friend that you are in the same band as so that means you have to see him everyday. Your best- yeah, you get what I mean.
When he had cooled down and the sobbing had subdued Louis had asked him what was wrong through concerned eyes. Harry had looked at his best friend and choked out an “I love Niall. Not the love I feel for all of you. I mean and- I’m in love with Niall! And I don’t know what to do! Louis, what should I do?” And then he had started sobbing again. Louis didn’t answer; he just tightened his grip on his curly haired best friend.
Ever since then he had been avoiding Niall. He only spoke to him when asked or it was necessary. When they were in front of the camera or fans he would smile at Niall and pretend that nothing changed as soon it was only them again. But when no one could see Harry made sure that he never was alone in a room with Niall. He was sure that if he looked the blonde in those beautiful eyes he would end up spilling everything. So he didn’t.
Lately it had become really tense between them. The boys could see that Harry was avoiding Niall. They were all confused to why.
Well, all of them except Louis. He knew why Harry was doing it, but he didn’t understand why. Why couldn’t Harry just man up and tell Niall how he felt? The poor boy was trying so hard to find out why Harry had been avoiding him, but he couldn’t find an answer.
And Louis was fed up with it. He missed it when the band was carefree and fun, not tense and slightly awkward. So he confronted Harry for a second time.
“Get your act together Styles! This is ruining the band as well as your friendship with Niall! I know it’s hard, I really do, but stop being a fucking pussy and do something about it!” With that Louis had stormed out and left a shocked Harry alone to dwell on his depression.
And that was where he was right now, lying under his blanket staring out the window. Why had love to be so hard? They tell you about how amazing it is to be in love in movies and in books, but they never tell you how much it sucks. How much it fucking hurts.
A hand on Harry’s shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts. When he looked up fierce green met light azure. He found himself lost in those blue orbs, the same ones that haunted his dreams.
“Harry,” Niall’s angelic voice got Harry back to the real world, and he jumped from the couch and ran towards the door. “I have to… uhm, help Louis with… uhm stuff!”
“Why?” Niall whispered so low that Harry almost didn’t catch it. He froze on his spot. He couldn’t believe that he was the one that made the beautiful boy sound so hurt, like a kicked puppy. And the worst part was that he was the one doing the kicking.
Maybe he should just come clean? Just tell him how he felt. But what if Niall started hating him? What if he was so disgusted that he never spoke to Harry again? What if-
“Why? I’m sorry for what ever I’ve done Harry, but please talk to me again! I miss the way things were, the way you would actually bear to be in the same room as me!”
All Harry could do was keep his hand on the door handle. ‘I might as well tell him,’ Harry thought. He couldn’t bear the though of Niall thinking he had done something wrong.
He turned around but didn’t look at Niall. If he looked at him he would see the hurt and probably the disgust when he’d spilled everything. So he instead kept his gaze on the window.
“Tell me what to do to fix it, I’ll try! Just, I want my best friend back!” Niall cried. ‘Best friend’ Harry though. That was all he was going to be to Niall, his best friend.
“You didn’t do a thing Niall. It’s all my fault, and I’m really sorry for avoiding you,” Harry sighted and looked up at Niall. Niall looked confused.
“Then why were you avoiding only me? Why not Zayn or Liam, or Louis!?” He started slowly before it got a bitter end to it. “Oh, I forgot. You would never do that to your BooBear, right?”
Now it was Harry’s turn to look confused. “W-what?” What had Louis to do with this? He looked at Niall, only to find him frowning.
It couldn’t be. No, he must be imagining it. Was Niall jealousof Louis? He used that little hope to gain a little bit of confidence.
“I love you…” He muttered. He stole a glance and saw that Niall looked confused.
“What did you say? I didn’t quite catch that,” Harry could have sworn that he saw a flash of hope in those blue eyes.
“I said,” Harry took a deep breath. “I said I love you! I love your laugh, do you even have a slightest clue how addicting it is to hear you laugh? And every time you smile you literally take my breath away. I get weak in the knees every time you touch me, even if it’s only a small brush. And what I love the most is your eyes. Your fucking perfect blue eyes. They remind me of a clear summer sky, and you make me get lost in them. So yes, I love you. I’m in fucking love with you, Niall Horan, and there is nothing you can do about it!”
“Oh, there’s nothing I can do about it eh?” Niall smirked as he started walking toward Harry.
Harry was starting to get confused. Where was the disgust and why the hell was he smirking? “Y-yes…” he stuttered. He started backing toward the door. He wasn’t used to the predatory look in the now darker blue eyes.
“Oh well, as you said, nothing to do about it!” And before Harry had a chance to understand what he meant by that, lips crashed against his.
At first he just stood there, shocked, before starting to kiss Niall back. And if Harry had to describe it, he would say he fireworks and clouds. Hot and soft. And most of all right and natural.
When they had to part for air, Niall breathed against Harry’s lips, “I love you too, you potato.” And then his lips where back on Harry’s again.
Okay, so maybe love wasn’t that bad, Harry thought. You just needed to do it right.